Timestamps: 1:40 - Question #1: Is fidgeting bad to do in a therapy session? I tend to fiddle a lot with my hands, lean forward and sit at the end of the seat in session. My therapist made me sit back and spread my hands and stop moving them, so I ended up bouncing my legs instead🙃. She told me to try and... 9:26 - Question #2: Has it ever felt strange going to therapy when you, yourself are a therapist? Does it ever seem kind of trippy, with their layers of perspective on top of yours? Or is being a therapist something you basically “shed” before your own sessions? Do you think your therapist ever feels... 16:05 - Question #3: Is it possible to have symptoms of a disorder and not have the "full blown" thing? I struggle with fear of abandonment, attachment issues, self-harm and an unstable sense of self, but I don't think I struggle badly enough to have it classified as BPD. Is this a thing? Thank you for all you do! (COMMENT: Yes, please! Answer this question. My therapist keeps writing " ASSESSMENT: middle aged woman with Cluster B dynamics and cPTSD." What does it mean? Is he referring that... 29:09 - Question #4: This is a question about intimacy after trauma. I’ve been in therapy for almost 2 years. Several months ago we uncovered some repressed sexual trauma memories. It causes me to dissociate anytime we get close to touching those memories. As much as I’d love to work on things, I just can’t... 40:24 - Question #5: What do you do as a therapist if a client suddenly stops seeing you? I became bored with my therapist and I just want to never go again because I don't want to have to explain why I'm stopping it. Me just leaving with no explanation has happened in the past and I can't seem to stick with a... 45:51 - Question #6: Hey Kati, happy Thursday! How is it possible to handle doctor appointments (especially obygn) when sexual abuse has happened? I am so afraid that this will retraumatize me or that I will struggle with flashbacks afterwards. I need an appointment with a new Obgyn because I have been taking birth control pills for several years and I know that my body does not tolerate them anymore. The doctor I got them from has never done an examination and I was really glad about... 1:02:24 - Question #7: I was wondering if an aborted suicide attempt could be considered as a type of trauma. I had one several years ago but never really thought about it much. Symptoms of my depression and other things took priority. Lately, however, my symptoms are almost non-existent (except for a day here and there). Because of this, I can't stop thinking about that night. Even though I was really drunk, I remember everything... Thank you for everything! I look forward to your podcast every week!
PTSD is a disability so they have to allow you to have someone else. Imagine you were autistic, they can't just say a blanket no! Also, they don't need details! "I had a difficult childhood, I have C-PTSD and just know I'm easily triggered." I have also said and re: SI "Childhood was a war. you may see shrapnel wounds on my legs." Then I chuckle. Edge gone. They know what cptsd means. They only need the who if you are still being abused. If they have an absolute no, they have no empathy. Find a new doc.
And again there are so many questions I ask myself that are being answered in your Podcast. THANK YOU. There is never a Podcast where I don't find atleast one that speaks to me!
The aborted suicide question and answer was super helpful to me, so thank you both to the person who asked and to Kati for your answer! I had an aborted attempt once too, and for so long I thought it didn't count as an attempt, so I didn't tell anyone because I was embarrassed. Now I do think it counts, but it's still hard to talk about because I'm afraid that others will think it doesn't. So this just felt very validating!
Question #1: for context, I have been seeing my therapist for close to a year, and this was the first time she asked me to try and stop. Her logic was that how your body moves impacts the anxiety you feel, so since I told her I get physically sick to my stomach in session she asked if I could try to stop moving. She explained it kinda like a positive feedback mechanism, where anxiety causes the moving, but then the moving causes the anxiety to worsen. Hopefully I explained that well enough 😅. Also it didn't seem to reduce it, and just made me make sick to my stomach
I really like Kati's answer to your question!!.... I am a therapist and a lot of my clients have ADHD, or are on the autism spectrum, along with anxiety and complex PTSD, so lots and lots of fidgeting/bouncing/moving!! One very effective method for treating trauma and it's related anxious symptoms is somatic therapy which involves processing excess energy out of your body in therapeutic ways, as opposed to "repressing it " (as your therapist appears to be doing)... back before Covid I even used to go on 45 minute walks with some clients during their sessions, if the struggle to sit bothered THEM
@@freeluigi4444great point and to add to this, the movements are ways to self-soothe, let out and manage the anxiety. It's not a movement that feeds anxiety in some sort of vicious cycle as your therapist seems to be suggesting.
„Moin“ is such a great word! I use it all the time (that confuses people cause I am not from the north of Germany). In the “old German” moin meant good or pleasant and there was day behind it, so “good/pleasant day”. The day disappeared through time and now it is just Moin. I love it! And cause of the “I” in the word you can very easily smile and say it very happy/friendly.
Thank you so much for answering my question and of course thanks für all the support and likes so it can get answered! The advices were so helpful and I love how compassionate your answers are. I like your podcast so much and I appreciate the work you put into it.
Fun Fact for 47:22 :you can actually say “Moin“ all throughout the day, but only in Northern Germany. The rest of the country just says "Hallo" or their own version of hello 😂
Ahh Ive been waiting all day for this podcast! Thank you :) P.s. love listening to this whilst going on a morning walk, its my weekly friday morning routine 😉
LOL! I didn't like the therapist telling her/him not to fidget too! Kati your approach 👍to the fidgeting! My therapist reminds me to hold my fidget toys if I need to-to stay present or grounded.
My therapist has a whole bin full of fidget toys just for this reason. And during groups over zoom she openly lets us all know that she is using fidget toys or a stress ball herself as a way to help her stay focused, and recommends it to all of us if we are finding it hard to stay focused with groups being over zoom... It really helps a lot!
You have grown on me! I am shocked to actually realize that therapists have issues! He is doing EMDR and last week I’ve got me into that venerable place andI started crying. This week I couldn’t even look at his face because I feel naked in session
Omg 42:50 “I’m sure this happens in other parts of your life too” I feel so called out 😂😂😂 Edit to add: For me the pattern is basically from freaking out/panicking. Because I’ve spent my whole life fending for myself it’s super counterintuitive for me to rely on anyone else for *anything*.
Wow Kati this one was really good. I don't know what seemed different about it, but it's my favorite AKA I've heard so far. Thank you for everything you do for the mental health community.
My therapist really uses my body language to try to figure out what’s going on emotionally. It’s incredibly helpful. I’m pretty annoyed that I’ve been doing teletherapy for almost a year and a half now. 😔
thank you kati for doing all of this for us! I don't think i will ever get sick of hearing from you! ❤️Thanks for everything you do! look out fir yourself as well!
I really love your purple! That is my favorite color. I even noticed you are wearing a different necklace. I think your experience seeing a therapist as a therapist is interesting because I have a psychology degree, and I am pursuing a masters, and in my experience, most of my therapists and doctors that I have seen see my level of experience as a threat and not a strength. One therapist even told me not pursue a masters. I've had doctors ask me questions about the classes that I'm taking as if they are judging me for the schools I have attended. I don't like going to therapy because some therapists have actually told me that I can't go to therapy to talk to someone, or I can't go to therapy because I'm too well and not going through a crisis.
I was talking to a friend who is a doctor at a US health center for folks under ~25 and they said that there are doctors who are open to skipping the full exam for the first appointment even if the patient needs birth control prescribed. This could at least give someone the option to wait until their second time seeing an obgyn before getting the full exam, which might make them more comfortable. I share this because I never even thought it was an option to say no to the exam. In countries where you have an option to choose your doctor, I’d also recommend trying to find someone who is known for being kind, thoughtful and patient as shown in their patient reviews. Or you can ask friends if they have anyone they recommend.
This is a very good thing to know, because we often forget that we have the deciding vote so to speak in what we have done and when. It would seem entirely appropriate to tell a doctor that we want an introductory appointment to discuss concerns and our needs, and to tell them what we are not comfortable with. Sometimes an exam can be performed in a different way so that it feels less invasive or personal. For example my doctor ordered an external only ultrasound in order to avoid the internal exam. She said there was no reason to force a patient to have an exam that would be potentially traumatizing when another option was available to get the same information. She also explained that a PAP smear is not needed more than once if a woman is not sexually active, but definitely discuss this with your doctor to see if the situation is the same since there may be other risk factors that your doctor would take into consideration.
Had the exact convo with my therapist last week re:bpd. I'm in Australia and complex ptsd isn't considered a diagnosis here. She said that I have some bpd symptoms but if cptsd was here she would consider me moreso there, but she works to treat the symptoms, not focus on the label.
Here in the US CPTSD isn't an official diagnosis either, and my therapist says it is unfortunate that the diagnostics don't reflect what she and the majority of therapists see as a distinct condition with differing symptoms and different therapeutic methods needed to treat it than either BPD or PTSD. So they use PTSD to report to insurance the "officially recognized" diagnosis, but consider patients to actually have CPTSD and treat them accordingly. I'm just glad therapists are finally realizing the difference and learning ways to treat it.
I once had flashbacks to something emotionally neutral for a few weeks, until my brain finally got the memo "holy crap, there's no emotional charge here" and stopped. The physical sensation of depersonalization was kinda pleasant, in the absence of any stressor to make it unpleasant, but the way it forcibly interrupted my train of thought was really quite annoying.
So, that thought of it being easier to see outward than inward......this is why we are our own worst critics! We're into the thick of things, and we struggle with seeing things from how others see it because they're not in our position.
I am a success story in regards to Ketamine treatments. I participated in two Ketamine drug trials for major depressive disorder. One was delivered through I.V. and the other was a nasal inhaled delivery method. Esketamine IS available as a prescription but it isn't cheap, unfortunately. The nasal spray has to be administered by a psychiatrist in a medical center/office. And, a patient has to spend about four or five hours in the office because you can't stand up for at least an hour without falling down and you're pretty well out of it, kind of high/dizzy/feeling disconnected from your body, etc. Driving yourself home is completely out of the question. However, I was helped so much by being in these two studies but it doesn't work for everyone. My depression still exists but I very rarely feel suicidal, am much more in touch with how I feel, and definitely more open to talking with a therapist, which I resisted for years and years.
I went to a therapist for depression 3 months or so. In Australia the first 6 sessions were about 75% subsidized by the government, but after those 6 each session would be more than $220. I don't have that kind of money, so I stopped going. Also I wouldn't ever see a new therapist because it would take like 2 sessions to go over my history again. If you don't have money, then mental health counseling is not really an option.
Check out Celebrate Recovery. It’s not therapy but walking through your hurts, habits, and hang-ups with people who will become your forever family. Also, same church have funds to help pay for therapy. I pay 8 dollars for therapy, I have blue cross.
Stimming/stereotypy/stereotyped movements or behaviors/self-stimulatory behavior/repetitive movements are all words for the part where you were trying to recall the multiple words to describe the motor patterns of autistic people 😁
Hi, great episode. A question if you may, a follow up for the question about the habit of quitting therapy (and other things as you suggested), how can one address this habit especially if you realize that you quit things easily because they are not moving as fast as you'd like? What tools are available if you want break this patterns of starting things and never finishing them?
Number 7 : plus body and brain chemicals definitely get shocked and affected by suicide attempts, I can't believe myself how much I traumatized myself after all those traumas happened by others against me
what do i do if my grounding techniques dont work? like, ill use them (and ive tried a ton of different kinds) and i either get so consumed in the technique or ill just go right back to dissociating when im done. Its like i cant find anything that will help me be present
6) In Denmark we are allowed to ask for a female nurse to do or oversee the obygn exam and if you have been sexually assaulted they recommend you to get refereed to a professional gynecologist as they know better how to handle it, also if a doctor want to exam me i can say that he or she is not allowed and i want to get refereed to a gynecologist instead and they have to do it without any questions. I know the laws can be different and everyone don't have public healthcare, but do look into the options in your country! (tiny trigger warning) My own experiences? I did not know this and i tried 4 times to explain to the different doctors that i couldn't get anything "in or though" and they all just put in fingers and the metal thingy in and said "i don't see a problem here" i don't want a doctor near my private parts again but luckily i'm able to tell them the reason now and they respect that. This was before i knew that i had been traumatized both as a kid and with my boyfriends throughout the time, and when i finally got to a professional she was so gentle and slow, explained everything she did and respected my anxiety, she helped me understand what i needed to do going forward and i actually first put words on my experiences after i was sent to.. ah.. its a department of our biggest hospital for victims but also for transitioning people and for people with varying intimacy problems, where they have trained therapists and couple councilors. Its still a problem, but i can relax much more in bed and i am more comfortable with intimacy now. :)
I never actually tried to kill myself but I have done a lot of reckless stuff since I don’t really care if I die. I only realize I don’t want to die when I come close. Sometimes at night I get this overwhelming sense of anxiety and can’t sleep because I feel like I can’t trust myself. I feel like I’m constantly under attack by an invisible assailant but the assailant is myself. I want to scream for help but I just feel too guilty and ashamed so it would only make things worse. All of this started about 2 years ago when I accidentally poisoned myself and woke up in the hospital. Ever since then I just felt tainted and damaged. I don’t know if I was traumatized or what’s wrong with me. I’m consumed by guilt and shame but just keep repeating what makes me feel guilty and shamed. It’s like a mental Hell.
I wonder if what was meant was dissociation that is more severe. I know for myself I can have quite a huge range of the amount that I dissociate. Sometimes its very mild where I zone out or find I haven't heard what was going on for a few moments, but other times I dissociate to the point of no longer being able to function. It can cause complete shutdown where I almost feel like I've just turned off or powered down. Often what disrupts therapy for me is when I try to talk about something difficult and my mind just dissociates and won't go there, I find myself blocked unable to proceed. I also experience splitting when something feels overwhelming to me or another part of me (this is because I have a more severe dissociative disorder). So maybe that type stuff is the "too though" side of dissociating? It's been explained to me as I need to work more on addressing the dissociation and learning how to stay in the present moment more so that I can work towards being present and able to process difficult things without my mind immediately pulling the fire alarm and dissociating in an attempt to protect me from real or imagined dangers.
@@shahilagh it could be dissociating possibly, because brain fog I think is more like not being able to focus or feeling fuzzy, but I don't think with brain fog you feel like you are not there, I could be wrong. Maybe if you look up about Derealization and depersonalization you can see if it sounds like what you experience. Brain fog can be a part of dissociation, but it can also be a part of anxiety or depression or other things too.
@@suzannep thank you ... I don't know... it always happens when I go to visit someone.. and in their place, I feel happy and look around to look at their things, especially books ...and paintings etc .... but then I look into one spot and my focus is gone fully ... and I miss things.. because I cant see the environment during the visit.... and also bothers me because they think I m too curious about their things by staring into their things .... but actually I m not looking ... I m just zoned out .
I’m also seeing a physical therapist because my body gets so tense during sex and I will disassociate. I see a counselor and my PT helps me become desensitized to penetration and I’ve still got a lot to go but I’ve come very far
I have a question for you. I've been seeing a therapist for a few months, about twice a month. We still haven't gotten into anything really except for me briefly mentioning things. I kind of like my therapist, but in my opinion, my therapist seems to not be capable of really guiding me through therapy. Even when our conversations start, there seems to be alot of dead air. She then canceled our last meeting, and that bothered me. Should I keep giving her chances or should I try someone knew? I'm becoming frustrated with the lack of progress. I feel like she isn't doing what I need and want.
I'll expand a bit. I've been hospitalized into behavioral hospitals twice. One of the hospitals was brand new, and inexperienced so much that my therapist and even my Dr. did not trust there diagnoses of me. But the second hospital I went to, one that is much more reputable, gave me the same diagnoses as the other, being Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features, general anxiety, and suicidal ideation. But when I started seeing my therapist, I was diagnosed with PTSD on day one. My therapist disagrees with my diagnoses, believing that I should be primary PTSD, with Major Depressive Disorder as a secondary diagnoses. She also thinks I shouldn't have been diagnosed with general anxiety, as anxiety goes hand in hand with depression and PTSD. The hospital I went to was concerned that I could have bipolar or even a paranoia disorder. My therapist insists that she doesn't see any of those as being possible. We don't meet in person, we only meet through zoom. I'm frustrated because my family can see my anxiety. I fidget alot. I spend hours pacing every day. And yeah, I'm nervous all the damned time. I have been described as a "nervous person" by people that knew me pretty well. I'm frustrated because everything I thought I knew before this therapist has been swept away, and yet I feel like I'm getting nowhere with my therapist. I almost feel like my therapist isn't interested in really helping me. I know your from Seattle. I live in Everett, and my therapist works for Compass Health. Do you have an opinion for Compass? Can you share it with me? Should I move to see someone else?
@@devinrodriguez9790 Hi I just thought I'd throw out a few thoughts about what you said. I wonder if you told your therapist exactly what you have written here if that would help you judge by her response if you would like to continue with her or get referred to someone new. It's totally frustrating and invalidating when we feel like things are clearly one way, yet a therapist or doctor continues to insist they are another way. But sometimes I think our therapists might not realize they are doing that, or they have not gotten all the info quite yet and are forming an opinion on incomplete info. But if you have expressed all of this to her already and still feel the same it seems like a new therapist could be worth trying. I found a new therapist has been extremely helpful, but some past ones were really not.
I actually feel like in my experience, my gyn doesn't really keep things on record and follow up with me every season. Like I have to be the one to initiate the conversation every session which can be annoying such as me being a virgin and never using tampons. Granted, I may see her once per year for a check in or once every 3 years for an exam, so it makes sense that I have to remind her as things could change, but it is annoying that I have to remind her.
Hi Kati, I think I maybe asexual. Have always felt different from everyone else. I also remember one time on year 7 going to kiss a girl but she quickly shut me down, what are you... made me feel ashamed and learnt to sepress tried to seem 'normal' but relationships and intimacy seem in natural I feel uncomfortable and wierd me out. Even watching a movie or show with stuff like that in it. Do you think sexual trauma/abuse, and a sex addicted parent maybe a cause or trigger or part cause?
Hi Kylie...I am obviously not Kati but I identify as asexual. I would say that if you have sexual attraction but hold back out of fear then this would likely indicate that you feel on edge but otherwise might not be asexual (experiencing sexual attraction is usually not associated with asexuality although in certain cases it is associated with demisexuality). If you have never experienced sexual attraction then it is possible you are asexual and asexuality is like any other orientation. It is not caused by sexual abuse any more than being heterosexual or homosexual is caused by abuse. I would recommend checking out AVEN.
@@kpaxian6044 I haven't really experienced sexual attraction like most people do, looking back now at that yr 7 memory I think I miss read the signals as she was leaning into hug goodbye. A decade ago I went out with my first boyfriend (that's what most people my age and younger was doing) but wasn't really 'switched on' or 'interested' with intimacy, we tried a couple times ( mostly to please him) but wasn't a great experience like everyone portrays it to be, also I was numb, dissociated I'm guessing something triggered from my trauma. You see in the media, and folk interested in it all the time but something's wrong with me, I've never had those feels, or been aroused, I don't see a need for it. And find myself scrolling or skipping ahead when scenes come on in shows. Will check out that sight. Thanks.
Timestamps:
1:40 - Question #1: Is fidgeting bad to do in a therapy session? I tend to fiddle a lot with my hands, lean forward and sit at the end of the seat in session. My therapist made me sit back and spread my hands and stop moving them, so I ended up bouncing my legs instead🙃. She told me to try and...
9:26 - Question #2: Has it ever felt strange going to therapy when you, yourself are a therapist? Does it ever seem kind of trippy, with their layers of perspective on top of yours? Or is being a therapist something you basically “shed” before your own sessions? Do you think your therapist ever feels...
16:05 - Question #3: Is it possible to have symptoms of a disorder and not have the "full blown" thing? I struggle with fear of abandonment, attachment issues, self-harm and an unstable sense of self, but I don't think I struggle badly enough to have it classified as BPD. Is this a thing? Thank you for all you do! (COMMENT: Yes, please! Answer this question. My therapist keeps writing " ASSESSMENT: middle aged woman with Cluster B dynamics and cPTSD." What does it mean? Is he referring that...
29:09 - Question #4: This is a question about intimacy after trauma. I’ve been in therapy for almost 2 years. Several months ago we uncovered some repressed sexual trauma memories. It causes me to dissociate anytime we get close to touching those memories. As much as I’d love to work on things, I just can’t...
40:24 - Question #5: What do you do as a therapist if a client suddenly stops seeing you? I became bored with my therapist and I just want to never go again because I don't want to have to explain why I'm stopping it. Me just leaving with no explanation has happened in the past and I can't seem to stick with a...
45:51 - Question #6: Hey Kati, happy Thursday! How is it possible to handle doctor appointments (especially obygn) when sexual abuse has happened? I am so afraid that this will retraumatize me or that I will struggle with flashbacks afterwards. I need an appointment with a new Obgyn because I have been taking birth control pills for several years and I know that my body does not tolerate them anymore. The doctor I got them from has never done an examination and I was really glad about...
1:02:24 - Question #7: I was wondering if an aborted suicide attempt could be considered as a type of trauma. I had one several years ago but never really thought about it much. Symptoms of my depression and other things took priority. Lately, however, my symptoms are almost non-existent (except for a day here and there). Because of this, I can't stop thinking about that night. Even though I was really drunk, I remember everything...
Thank you for everything! I look forward to your podcast every week!
this is so cool you did this! thanks
@@em-635 Any time!
PTSD is a disability so they have to allow you to have someone else. Imagine you were autistic, they can't just say a blanket no!
Also, they don't need details! "I had a difficult childhood, I have C-PTSD and just know I'm easily triggered." I have also said and re: SI "Childhood was a war. you may see shrapnel wounds on my legs." Then I chuckle. Edge gone. They know what cptsd means. They only need the who if you are still being abused.
If they have an absolute no, they have no empathy. Find a new doc.
Hi everyone! Sorry today's video was release a bit late. I hope you find the questions and answers helpful! xoxo Kati
Always!!
@@christym.6529 Awesome!
Hope you're well Kati x
Super helpful as always! Even when I might think that a question isn't relevant to me, your answers so often are! Thank you for the work you do! ❤
And again there are so many questions I ask myself that are being answered in your Podcast. THANK YOU. There is never a Podcast where I don't find atleast one that speaks to me!
Kati asked "Are you tired of hearing from me just yet?" UMMM NOO actually would love to hear from you more!
The aborted suicide question and answer was super helpful to me, so thank you both to the person who asked and to Kati for your answer! I had an aborted attempt once too, and for so long I thought it didn't count as an attempt, so I didn't tell anyone because I was embarrassed. Now I do think it counts, but it's still hard to talk about because I'm afraid that others will think it doesn't. So this just felt very validating!
Yay! Been waiting all day for this! Hope you're having a great week Kati 😀🥰
You too!!
Thank you Kati. I can hear this all day and all night long. You are the best. May GOD bless you and your family. ❤️
Question #1: for context, I have been seeing my therapist for close to a year, and this was the first time she asked me to try and stop. Her logic was that how your body moves impacts the anxiety you feel, so since I told her I get physically sick to my stomach in session she asked if I could try to stop moving. She explained it kinda like a positive feedback mechanism, where anxiety causes the moving, but then the moving causes the anxiety to worsen. Hopefully I explained that well enough 😅.
Also it didn't seem to reduce it, and just made me make sick to my stomach
I really like Kati's answer to your question!!.... I am a therapist and a lot of my clients have ADHD, or are on the autism spectrum, along with anxiety and complex PTSD, so lots and lots of fidgeting/bouncing/moving!! One very effective method for treating trauma and it's related anxious symptoms is somatic therapy which involves processing excess energy out of your body in therapeutic ways, as opposed to "repressing it " (as your therapist appears to be doing)... back before Covid I even used to go on 45 minute walks with some clients during their sessions, if the struggle to sit bothered THEM
@@freeluigi4444great point and to add to this, the movements are ways to self-soothe, let out and manage the anxiety. It's not a movement that feeds anxiety in some sort of vicious cycle as your therapist seems to be suggesting.
In other words, it is a negative feedback loop, not a positive feedback loop
I don’t know how a lot of times you post videos that goes along with my week! Its crazy!
Always so great to tune in....so glad you to see you and listen as I relax before bed...thanks for being here Kati!!!
Thank you Kati! We appreciate you so much! 🙏🏽
„Moin“ is such a great word! I use it all the time (that confuses people cause I am not from the north of Germany). In the “old German” moin meant good or pleasant and there was day behind it, so “good/pleasant day”. The day disappeared through time and now it is just Moin. I love it! And cause of the “I” in the word you can very easily smile and say it very happy/friendly.
Thank you so much for answering my question and of course thanks für all the support and likes so it can get answered!
The advices were so helpful and I love how compassionate your answers are. I like your podcast so much and I appreciate the work you put into it.
Fun Fact for 47:22 :you can actually say “Moin“ all throughout the day, but only in Northern Germany. The rest of the country just says "Hallo" or their own version of hello 😂
So viele deutsche hier?😅
Ahh Ive been waiting all day for this podcast! Thank you :)
P.s. love listening to this whilst going on a morning walk, its my weekly friday morning routine 😉
Thank you Kati, have an amazing rest of the week! 😊
Thanks
LOL! I didn't like the therapist telling her/him not to fidget too! Kati your approach 👍to the fidgeting! My therapist reminds me to hold my fidget toys if I need to-to stay present or grounded.
Me too! I have a lavender stress ball that I always bring with me that is very calming.
My therapist has a whole bin full of fidget toys just for this reason. And during groups over zoom she openly lets us all know that she is using fidget toys or a stress ball herself as a way to help her stay focused, and recommends it to all of us if we are finding it hard to stay focused with groups being over zoom... It really helps a lot!
You have grown on me! I am shocked to actually realize that therapists have issues! He is doing EMDR and last week I’ve got me into that venerable place andI started crying. This week I couldn’t even look at his face because I feel naked in session
Yay for mentioning Mama Doctor Jones! I follow her too. Her videos are great about explaining things. 👍🏻
Omg 42:50 “I’m sure this happens in other parts of your life too” I feel so called out 😂😂😂
Edit to add: For me the pattern is basically from freaking out/panicking. Because I’ve spent my whole life fending for myself it’s super counterintuitive for me to rely on anyone else for *anything*.
Wow Kati this one was really good. I don't know what seemed different about it, but it's my favorite AKA I've heard so far. Thank you for everything you do for the mental health community.
Thank you Kati!! These are always so informative! 😊
My therapist really uses my body language to try to figure out what’s going on emotionally. It’s incredibly helpful. I’m pretty annoyed that I’ve been doing teletherapy for almost a year and a half now. 😔
Thank you so much for answering the follow up questions as well! It was really helpful and validating, you're amazing, Kati ♥️☺️
That much sooner to episode 100!! Know that I will definitely be celebrating 🥳 you Kati!!
thank you kati for doing all of this for us! I don't think i will ever get sick of hearing from you! ❤️Thanks for everything you do! look out fir yourself as well!
I really love your purple! That is my favorite color. I even noticed you are wearing a different necklace. I think your experience seeing a therapist as a therapist is interesting because I have a psychology degree, and I am pursuing a masters, and in my experience, most of my therapists and doctors that I have seen see my level of experience as a threat and not a strength. One therapist even told me not pursue a masters. I've had doctors ask me questions about the classes that I'm taking as if they are judging me for the schools I have attended. I don't like going to therapy because some therapists have actually told me that I can't go to therapy to talk to someone, or I can't go to therapy because I'm too well and not going through a crisis.
I was talking to a friend who is a doctor at a US health center for folks under ~25 and they said that there are doctors who are open to skipping the full exam for the first appointment even if the patient needs birth control prescribed. This could at least give someone the option to wait until their second time seeing an obgyn before getting the full exam, which might make them more comfortable. I share this because I never even thought it was an option to say no to the exam.
In countries where you have an option to choose your doctor, I’d also recommend trying to find someone who is known for being kind, thoughtful and patient as shown in their patient reviews. Or you can ask friends if they have anyone they recommend.
This is a very good thing to know, because we often forget that we have the deciding vote so to speak in what we have done and when. It would seem entirely appropriate to tell a doctor that we want an introductory appointment to discuss concerns and our needs, and to tell them what we are not comfortable with. Sometimes an exam can be performed in a different way so that it feels less invasive or personal. For example my doctor ordered an external only ultrasound in order to avoid the internal exam. She said there was no reason to force a patient to have an exam that would be potentially traumatizing when another option was available to get the same information. She also explained that a PAP smear is not needed more than once if a woman is not sexually active, but definitely discuss this with your doctor to see if the situation is the same since there may be other risk factors that your doctor would take into consideration.
Kati makes me feel so normal and human🤧
Had the exact convo with my therapist last week re:bpd. I'm in Australia and complex ptsd isn't considered a diagnosis here. She said that I have some bpd symptoms but if cptsd was here she would consider me moreso there, but she works to treat the symptoms, not focus on the label.
Here in the US CPTSD isn't an official diagnosis either, and my therapist says it is unfortunate that the diagnostics don't reflect what she and the majority of therapists see as a distinct condition with differing symptoms and different therapeutic methods needed to treat it than either BPD or PTSD. So they use PTSD to report to insurance the "officially recognized" diagnosis, but consider patients to actually have CPTSD and treat them accordingly. I'm just glad therapists are finally realizing the difference and learning ways to treat it.
I once had flashbacks to something emotionally neutral for a few weeks, until my brain finally got the memo "holy crap, there's no emotional charge here" and stopped. The physical sensation of depersonalization was kinda pleasant, in the absence of any stressor to make it unpleasant, but the way it forcibly interrupted my train of thought was really quite annoying.
So, that thought of it being easier to see outward than inward......this is why we are our own worst critics! We're into the thick of things, and we struggle with seeing things from how others see it because they're not in our position.
I am a success story in regards to Ketamine treatments. I participated in two Ketamine drug trials for major depressive disorder. One was delivered through I.V. and the other was a nasal inhaled delivery method. Esketamine IS available as a prescription but it isn't cheap, unfortunately. The nasal spray has to be administered by a psychiatrist in a medical center/office. And, a patient has to spend about four or five hours in the office because you can't stand up for at least an hour without falling down and you're pretty well out of it, kind of high/dizzy/feeling disconnected from your body, etc. Driving yourself home is completely out of the question. However, I was helped so much by being in these two studies but it doesn't work for everyone. My depression still exists but I very rarely feel suicidal, am much more in touch with how I feel, and definitely more open to talking with a therapist, which I resisted for years and years.
I went to a therapist for depression 3 months or so. In Australia the first 6 sessions were about 75% subsidized by the government, but after those 6 each session would be more than $220. I don't have that kind of money, so I stopped going. Also I wouldn't ever see a new therapist because it would take like 2 sessions to go over my history again. If you don't have money, then mental health counseling is not really an option.
Check out Celebrate Recovery. It’s not therapy but walking through your hurts, habits, and hang-ups with people who will become your forever family. Also, same church have funds to help pay for therapy. I pay 8 dollars for therapy, I have blue cross.
0:49, it took me so long to learn what a community tab is because it is not tab shaped.
Stimming/stereotypy/stereotyped movements or behaviors/self-stimulatory behavior/repetitive movements are all words for the part where you were trying to recall the multiple words to describe the motor patterns of autistic people 😁
Hi, great episode. A question if you may, a follow up for the question about the habit of quitting therapy (and other things as you suggested), how can one address this habit especially if you realize that you quit things easily because they are not moving as fast as you'd like? What tools are available if you want break this patterns of starting things and never finishing them?
this was really helpful, thank you
You're welcome!
Number 7 : plus body and brain chemicals definitely get shocked and affected by suicide attempts, I can't believe myself how much I traumatized myself after all those traumas happened by others against me
Excited for today's video :)
what do i do if my grounding techniques dont work? like, ill use them (and ive tried a ton of different kinds) and i either get so consumed in the technique or ill just go right back to dissociating when im done. Its like i cant find anything that will help me be present
6) In Denmark we are allowed to ask for a female nurse to do or oversee the obygn exam and if you have been sexually assaulted they recommend you to get refereed to a professional gynecologist as they know better how to handle it, also if a doctor want to exam me i can say that he or she is not allowed and i want to get refereed to a gynecologist instead and they have to do it without any questions. I know the laws can be different and everyone don't have public healthcare, but do look into the options in your country!
(tiny trigger warning) My own experiences?
I did not know this and i tried 4 times to explain to the different doctors that i couldn't get anything "in or though" and they all just put in fingers and the metal thingy in and said "i don't see a problem here" i don't want a doctor near my private parts again but luckily i'm able to tell them the reason now and they respect that.
This was before i knew that i had been traumatized both as a kid and with my boyfriends throughout the time, and when i finally got to a professional she was so gentle and slow, explained everything she did and respected my anxiety, she helped me understand what i needed to do going forward and i actually first put words on my experiences after i was sent to.. ah.. its a department of our biggest hospital for victims but also for transitioning people and for people with varying intimacy problems, where they have trained therapists and couple councilors.
Its still a problem, but i can relax much more in bed and i am more comfortable with intimacy now. :)
That theme song just makes me so happy 😊 😃
I never actually tried to kill myself but I have done a lot of reckless stuff since I don’t really care if I die. I only realize I don’t want to die when I come close. Sometimes at night I get this overwhelming sense of anxiety and can’t sleep because I feel like I can’t trust myself. I feel like I’m constantly under attack by an invisible assailant but the assailant is myself. I want to scream for help but I just feel too guilty and ashamed so it would only make things worse. All of this started about 2 years ago when I accidentally poisoned myself and woke up in the hospital. Ever since then I just felt tainted and damaged. I don’t know if I was traumatized or what’s wrong with me. I’m consumed by guilt and shame but just keep repeating what makes me feel guilty and shamed. It’s like a mental Hell.
For question 4: What does she mean by dissociation that is too tough? Please give example
I wonder if what was meant was dissociation that is more severe. I know for myself I can have quite a huge range of the amount that I dissociate. Sometimes its very mild where I zone out or find I haven't heard what was going on for a few moments, but other times I dissociate to the point of no longer being able to function. It can cause complete shutdown where I almost feel like I've just turned off or powered down. Often what disrupts therapy for me is when I try to talk about something difficult and my mind just dissociates and won't go there, I find myself blocked unable to proceed. I also experience splitting when something feels overwhelming to me or another part of me (this is because I have a more severe dissociative disorder). So maybe that type stuff is the "too though" side of dissociating? It's been explained to me as I need to work more on addressing the dissociation and learning how to stay in the present moment more so that I can work towards being present and able to process difficult things without my mind immediately pulling the fire alarm and dissociating in an attempt to protect me from real or imagined dangers.
@@shahilagh it could be dissociating possibly, because brain fog I think is more like not being able to focus or feeling fuzzy, but I don't think with brain fog you feel like you are not there, I could be wrong. Maybe if you look up about Derealization and depersonalization you can see if it sounds like what you experience. Brain fog can be a part of dissociation, but it can also be a part of anxiety or depression or other things too.
@@suzannep thank you ... I don't know... it always happens when I go to visit someone.. and in their place, I feel happy and look around to look at their things, especially books ...and paintings etc .... but then I look into one spot and my focus is gone fully ... and I miss things.. because I cant see the environment during the visit.... and also bothers me because they think I m too curious about their things by staring into their things .... but actually I m not looking ... I m just zoned out .
Thank you Kati!
I’m also seeing a physical therapist because my body gets so tense during sex and I will disassociate. I see a counselor and my PT helps me become desensitized to penetration and I’ve still got a lot to go but I’ve come very far
Number 4 : art therapy is so useful for sexual traumatized , speak of my personal experience
Is it ok to cry during a therapy session
I have a question for you. I've been seeing a therapist for a few months, about twice a month. We still haven't gotten into anything really except for me briefly mentioning things. I kind of like my therapist, but in my opinion, my therapist seems to not be capable of really guiding me through therapy. Even when our conversations start, there seems to be alot of dead air. She then canceled our last meeting, and that bothered me. Should I keep giving her chances or should I try someone knew? I'm becoming frustrated with the lack of progress. I feel like she isn't doing what I need and want.
I'll expand a bit. I've been hospitalized into behavioral hospitals twice. One of the hospitals was brand new, and inexperienced so much that my therapist and even my Dr. did not trust there diagnoses of me. But the second hospital I went to, one that is much more reputable, gave me the same diagnoses as the other, being Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features, general anxiety, and suicidal ideation. But when I started seeing my therapist, I was diagnosed with PTSD on day one. My therapist disagrees with my diagnoses, believing that I should be primary PTSD, with Major Depressive Disorder as a secondary diagnoses. She also thinks I shouldn't have been diagnosed with general anxiety, as anxiety goes hand in hand with depression and PTSD.
The hospital I went to was concerned that I could have bipolar or even a paranoia disorder. My therapist insists that she doesn't see any of those as being possible. We don't meet in person, we only meet through zoom. I'm frustrated because my family can see my anxiety. I fidget alot. I spend hours pacing every day. And yeah, I'm nervous all the damned time. I have been described as a "nervous person" by people that knew me pretty well.
I'm frustrated because everything I thought I knew before this therapist has been swept away, and yet I feel like I'm getting nowhere with my therapist. I almost feel like my therapist isn't interested in really helping me.
I know your from Seattle. I live in Everett, and my therapist works for Compass Health. Do you have an opinion for Compass? Can you share it with me? Should I move to see someone else?
@@devinrodriguez9790 Hi I just thought I'd throw out a few thoughts about what you said. I wonder if you told your therapist exactly what you have written here if that would help you judge by her response if you would like to continue with her or get referred to someone new. It's totally frustrating and invalidating when we feel like things are clearly one way, yet a therapist or doctor continues to insist they are another way. But sometimes I think our therapists might not realize they are doing that, or they have not gotten all the info quite yet and are forming an opinion on incomplete info. But if you have expressed all of this to her already and still feel the same it seems like a new therapist could be worth trying. I found a new therapist has been extremely helpful, but some past ones were really not.
I actually feel like in my experience, my gyn doesn't really keep things on record and follow up with me every season. Like I have to be the one to initiate the conversation every session which can be annoying such as me being a virgin and never using tampons. Granted, I may see her once per year for a check in or once every 3 years for an exam, so it makes sense that I have to remind her as things could change, but it is annoying that I have to remind her.
What is the difference between
Mental. & Emotional illness & DISORDER.??? CAN U EXPLAIN ?
Hi Kati,
I think I maybe asexual. Have always felt different from everyone else. I also remember one time on year 7 going to kiss a girl but she quickly shut me down, what are you... made me feel ashamed and learnt to sepress tried to seem 'normal' but relationships and intimacy seem in natural I feel uncomfortable and wierd me out. Even watching a movie or show with stuff like that in it.
Do you think sexual trauma/abuse, and a sex addicted parent maybe a cause or trigger or part cause?
Hi Kylie...I am obviously not Kati but I identify as asexual. I would say that if you have sexual attraction but hold back out of fear then this would likely indicate that you feel on edge but otherwise might not be asexual (experiencing sexual attraction is usually not associated with asexuality although in certain cases it is associated with demisexuality). If you have never experienced sexual attraction then it is possible you are asexual and asexuality is like any other orientation. It is not caused by sexual abuse any more than being heterosexual or homosexual is caused by abuse. I would recommend checking out AVEN.
@@kpaxian6044
I haven't really experienced sexual attraction like most people do, looking back now at that yr 7 memory I think I miss read the signals as she was leaning into hug goodbye.
A decade ago I went out with my first boyfriend (that's what most people my age and younger was doing) but wasn't really 'switched on' or 'interested' with intimacy, we tried a couple times ( mostly to please him) but wasn't a great experience like everyone portrays it to be, also I was numb, dissociated I'm guessing something triggered from my trauma. You see in the media, and folk interested in it all the time but something's wrong with me, I've never had those feels, or been aroused, I don't see a need for it. And find myself scrolling or skipping ahead when scenes come on in shows.
Will check out that sight. Thanks.
19:18 is like try put a fat bunny in a hole of a slim bunny, and say "that's not a bunny, bc he don't fit.".
that's hilarious and adorable (also, are you brazilian by any chance?)
@@hannalowercase5928 yeah, are u too?
@@renatomenezes8103 yes haha i thought so because of your name
Don't get "eating disorders" mixed up with "eating problems"!
Great video
I'm not able..to charge phone..I'll try to catch up..🌻
Nice
you know Kati your brilliant but the personal cost to you doing what you do must be huge