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This video is great! I recognize how I was like that as a kid. But in my twenties I took a brutal but slow change and are now the free man, or at least more free than most seem to. Thanks again for shedding light on this!
Right now in the middle of the rona, myself and a few friends are using our garbage coping mechanism, well suited to living in trauma, poorly suited to polite society, to help our normie friends cope with this crazy shit.
“The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does. They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.” -aldous huxley
The mention of teachers/parents labeling their kids with ADHD or bad behavior is disgustingly accurate. I met a lot of kids who were worried I was going to be mad at them if they misunderstood a math lesson I was trying to teach them, when in reality they were probably some of the smartest kids I've ever met.
ADHD is a legit thing, but people really don't know what it is. Its comorbid with stuff like Bipolar disorder, autism, depression, etc and manifests itself as an executive function disorder. Its actually underdiagnosed, despite the media saying otherwise. I wonder how many people take up smoking as a habit because they're not diagnosed and are simply using the nicotine's stimulant effects the way I use my adderall.
Doctors may need to be held accountable too. They just roll with it when they hear vague keyterms from the parents. Prescribing things like ritalin literally as an experiment on the kid to see if you do better or worse in the short term instead of taking time to properly diagnose a case and think of the long term consequences.
Most doctors do the best they can with their time, just like any other profession there is a time/result equation. Some times its not worth it for Louis to repair a MacBook, sometimes he tries and fails.
Intelligence has nothing to do with it. In fact your job is to inspire them not fill them with information. EVERYONE is self taught ultimately. You find your interest and you become inspired to get really good at what you do.
The cure to my social anxiety was realizing that pretty much everybody else has it too. I was always so worried about trying to make myself seem like a normal human being until I realized everyone else was winging it too. The power you have once you get to that realization makes you literally invincible.
Same thing for me, so quickly I turned from being introspective in social situations to reading other people’s body language. And even though sometimes I’m not 100% and get the brain fog it was like an over night change from the realisation that I’m an individual and everybody else is too busy anxiously thinking about themselves to notice me in my anxiety.
There were times I hung around the cooler kids and they were more of a mess than anyone. The difference is they tend to have a selfish will and put it on everyone else. So others feel the wrath of their fears, ignorance and insecurities. Many people can't step out of their clique. They have the same friends they had since they were little kids and they sort of supported each other. You take those friends away from them and they will be in the same boat. Many of us become victim of circumstance. For example if your parents moved a lot you likely failed to hold on to the same group of friends and were unable to full adjust to one environment.
Opinion is devoid of fact, this video has fact after fact and very little unsubstantiated opinion. While his evidence is anecdotal, it's also very very valid.
Joey Greathouse Yeah this guy absolutely blows my mind sometimes and I'm a shit-ton older than he is. If I'd had his talent for thought at his age God only knows where I would be today.
Preach Louis, preach! Sometimes I do not agree with people, but with Louis I don't care when that happens. Louis is Louis, and that is as it should be.
I was one of those kids labeled as ADD and went through all that crap. finally someone said no matter his grades put him in the advance class as a trial. I almost immediately went from a C/D student to straight As. he said he doesn't have ADD he just isn't being challenged and is shutting off. that man turned my life around and almost 20 years later we are still friends. People need to stop labeling people and actually listen to them.
I wish I was in your school. I was 3 grades above in English and 2 in math until I was 11. Then I moved and was put in normal classes. I hated it. For 2/3 years, I was doing the EXACT SAME work that I had already done. I decided to teach myself programming, which ended up taking lots of time away from school work. In high school, I was getting good at programming, but shit at school. My parents took away my computer access and then I had nothing to challenge myself with. I ended up with a 2.2 GPA coming out of high school. I probably could have had a 4.0+ if classes were interesting and challenging. Instead, middle school taught me that school is prison and conditioned me to avoid it at all costs. Now I'm a shit programmer with a poor school record.
Jason Becker: This is the exact reason I want to become a ethical hacker. Because really any other job I will get extremely bored with. Due to them not challenging me in new and creative ways.
This happened to me. I was accidentally placed into an advanced placement class. This was in high school. Not only wasn't I supposed to be there (the "track" I was on was wrong for it) but it was a class for seniors and I was a junior. Until the teacher found out, and he was angry, I was maintaining a very high grade. When was forcefully transferred into the boring class my grades dropped.
Through the entirety of my life, I've never idolized anyone, or had a mentor per se. Sure, I've seen personal traits in someone that appealed to me, and adapted (adopted? not a native speaker) them. But never have I had this sense of idolization for someone, until now. I am truly humbled in saying that for the first time in my life, I've found someone with the ability to not only shed light on concepts in a whole new manner, but subsequently helping me ignite that inner fire to deal with said concepts/issues. Maybe you'll never read this, Louis, but I want to write it regardless. You've randomly come into my life at a time of need. And I whole-heartedly appreciate you, and the fact that you've made an impact on my life. Thank you.
I totally understand the lack of a mentor figure kind of thing. I really appreciate these talks that Louis does. It's like I've finally met someone who understands how I think.
DeathlyHall0w CBT isn't the only therapeutic method available, though, maybe you should try to go to someone with a different approach, like gestalt or psychoanalysis.
Nice, relatable for me as well, i used to act like others so i didn't have to be myself because i thought myself was lame, but now that i am myself i feel so much better and more accepted. So i wish you luck with living your fucking life;)
Hayk Avagyan He didn’t advise ditching any therapy, only ditching therapists not putting in effort to engage with you, just sitting and saying “how does that make you feel?” every 5 minutes.
3:10 ish Reminds me of a joke I read once. A man who was flying a hot air balloon and had lost his sense of direction saw another man standing on a hill, so he descended a little bit to speak to him. "Could you tell me where I am?" asked the balloonist. "You're approximately twenty feet off the ground in a hot air balloon." the other man replied. "You must work in technology." "Why, yes! How did you know?" "Everything you said was technically correct but of absolutely no use to anyone." "You must work in business." "Yes, I do. How did you know?" "You don't know where you are or where you're going and you expect me to be able to help. You're in exactly the same situation as before, but now it's my fault."
This video helped alot. I used to have social anxiety until last year. I applied for a job that require me to go to public places and advertiser/Reach out to customers. The first month of the job was hell. i was super stressful and spilled multiple coffees in the office due to panic. Luckily, our senior manager was also a consultant and consult me on a daily basis. I remember the first day of the job i had to go to shopping mall and open a stand were i reach out to potential customers. It was absolute disaster. My colleague managed to get around 10 new potential customers while i go 0. Later that day, our senior manager sat down with me and explained to me how i can overcome the fear of rejection(which was bothering me the most when speaking to people regarding a product). Long story short, he told me to not give 0 shit about what they say. Just move on to the next. It was hard, but i managed to over come anxiety in 8 months. the hardest part by far was the first time i spoke with one of the High management from Barclays bank. i was really nervous and i think he probably knew, but thanks god he made it easy for me to communicated professionally with him. if it was not for my job and genuinely caring management, i would have still had anxiety.
A lot of the people in those positions probably have experienced the same, so they empathized with what you've gone through. Congrats for being part of a cool and understanding company, not everyone gets to have that :)
yeah. that's exactly what i thought. Now its very easy for me to speak with strangers. it opened for me the opportunity to work at costumer related jobs like call centre, high street stores etc.
Unfortunately one does not just stop having social anxiety or any form of anxiety. We can deal with it, improve how we interact with people and feel better about it, but it doesn't usually go away.
I'm so glad I have the inability to stop my thoughts from coming out sometimes. Most people give me shitty attitudes, weird looks and shit. Call me wierd. And I'm just telling them what happened 5 minutes ago. This is why I can't work retail. Only seldomly I meet people that can actually hold a conversation. I'm deeply saddened by this fact of life. Most people don't wanna even have a conversation. Like at all. They think you're a creep for wanting to. Like there's and ulterior motive or something.
Believe me when I say there ARE people out there that also are... Over sharers (like me lol). But it's a matter of finding your tribe. Finding spaces where that is encouraged for you to share your feelings and thoughts. Book clubs, film clubs, meditation retreats are spaces where you can share your thoughts in a safe place and actually get satisfaction from speaking with people
Agree. Some one out there thinks that every one is talking too much and they just wish every one would just appreciate silence. I love to talk on and on, but when I‘m tired, I cannot handle it, it infuriates me that others will invade my „auditory space“ as I like to call it lol, not always but when I‘ve had a long day of arguing all throughout, the last thing I want to do is talk some more.
@@jackismname I'm sure every human understands this. Shit dogs have moods like this, however, if it's the first time I've met you, how would I know? I can't. So instead of being boring, I'm a story someone might tell.
I came to this channel from a video bashing Apple, and from that self-indulgent apple bashing I've learn't so much about racism, life, depression and now social anxiety. Your perspective on Social Anxiety makes so much more sense, if I speak my mind I either find people who are tolerant and have depth to them, or I find people who are intolerant and shallow and not worth my time. The alternative, being tense and trying to step around eggshells presents nothing but misery as an alternative. I just wanted to say thank you for all your videos, I think discovering this channel will end up improving my life a lot.
I feel you. That is EXACTLY what happens to me too. I told a close friend, "It's not that I have all these thoughts but censor them around other people, it's that when I'm around people it's like my brain shuts down and I don't get any thoughts at all".
From my experience, the problem isn´t that you don´t have information and emotions in your brain. It´s that you´re not connected to what´s happening between you and the other person. You´re instead within your mind, counscious of the fact that you haven´t said anything for "an eternity" and that realization makes it even harder to find a relaxed, fun place within your mind. My theory is that conversations should instead be seen as imporvisation games, where things just pop into your brain and you say them. No judgement, they just need to flow. Most of the time it will be utter bullshit, but sometimes you strike something interesting. With time you "fail better" and strike gold more often. This requires that the other person plays along of course. Problems that arise with this is exactly what Louis is talking about in the video, so find lower stake conversations to practice. Of course, you do you, this was and is my approach though.
I was serving at a restaurant a few years ago and got the "you too" all the time. Most of the time I acted like I didn't hear it to spare the customers the embarrassment, but one time I made a joke about it and they became by favorite customers.
I was such a non-talker in high school that a friend of the family could hardly believe that I had somehow managed to get myself a girlfriend. Fast forward 15 years--I was still a one-syllable-answer kind of guy, a small-time carpentry and construction contractor. Then, for reasons I don't feel like going into here, I became a hairstylist. But man, that was my ticket to talking to people. As a hairstylist, you MUST manage peoples' hair AND their minds. Because their default setting is not so good. You can see it in action if you're a quiet stylist. You can see em think: "What's wrong?" "Why isn't he talking?" "Is he mad about something?" "Is he mad at ME?" _"OMG, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's gonna ruin me."_ The default setting leads to a downward spiral. So I forced myself to talk. It was hard going. But I made myself do it. Tried to find what I had in common with people. An old grandma, say. Maybe she raised kids? I started talking about my kids. She talks about hers. A young guy comes in, gets assigned to me, takes one look, figures I'm gay; he doesn't like me. I think (We'll see about that; maybe I can make you like me). I start talking about car repair. Yeah, he's interested in that. I do his haircut and we get along okay. Can't say I was ever a stellar stylist, but I really grew to like the conversation part of the job, better than any other part. That's the huge boon I got from my stint as a stylist. I learned not _how_ to talk (I already knew that), but _to_ talk.
@@ian1352 Surprisingly enough the vast majority do like a chatty stylist. In all my 4 years as a hairstylist, only ONCE did I have a client request peace. "Can we just be quiet today?" she said. "Sure!" I said and shut up. And I was thinking (I can still do that; if you want quiet, I'm your guy!) Anyway Ian, if you prefer quiet, just ask for it.
@@lucav4045 Ease of auto DL, playlist building, simpler searching, all in one app instead of fucking around plugging this into that to get around YT not playing with screen off, storage size is an issue on many devices. Sufficient answers to straightforward question?
11:03 "Why did you cease to express your identity to the world to appease people who don't even have one?" I really needed to hear that! It's so easy to be trampled down and get stuck in a mental rut, especially sitting at a desk in a home office all day with barely any social interactions. Your life talk videos are helping to pull me out of that rut. Thank you for that!
many people can talk about their opinions but few really strike a chord, thank you for giving me a whole new perspective on the kind of life ive been putting myself through to appease people! this really did change alot of things for me
I remember playing an MMO and made a few friends there. Both me and my friend were socially awkward, and I noticed behavior in them that I didn't like, but was doing myself. The thing that I noticed first was that when I got them a gift costing a reasonable sum of gold in game, they would try and reject taking the gift because they can't possibly accept that. They were more wrapped up thinking that I would rather keep my gold or spend my time getting stuff for myself than getting something I knew they would enjoy. What was worse was that I did that all the time myself, I would put up a stubborn defense against receiving any such gift. I was thinking too much about them and what would have made them happy that it took me a while to realise that they probably just enjoyed sharing things with me like I did with them.
happytree: I think Louis's self help videos, like this 1, might say it better than he could with just printed words in a book. I like your title, though.
I don't know which I admire more. Your work or your advice. Both are fucking great. And to think I found you because I wanted to brush up on my soldering.
11:52 Is very true. I have been in therapy for quite a while and worked a lot on myself, still nowadays I still struggle with a bunch of negative emotions. As I talked to my therapist about that, she told me that in fact there wasn’t anything about those emotions wich came from me being mentally ill anymore. It was just the very natural reaction of feeling bad after people around me treated me badly.
Very nice talk. I believe school is geared toward creating worker bees where there's not much room for independent thought. The second you step out of that narrow little band you must walk in to be considered "normal" they start trying to whip you back into it. So quick to medicate a kid because they're not "normal". The truth is, that child's "normal" may very well be something far more spectacular. I have seen children who have found relief from medicine but not so often. It's the people around them who are seeking relief. A very narrow way of thinking really.. When you make that decision, you are not choosing to medicate a child - you are medicating a grown ass adult. When you alter their path in such a way, you are changing them as an adult.
I have met some really good teachers. Some of the teachers that our kids have lucked out with have been very open thinkers and encouraged our kids to do stuff their own way. But still - tie up weeks learning the state capitals? uhhhhhh, what?? Oh that's right.. must fill in that time that useful things could fit in :)
I find most adults are like this too, they've been so well trained to follow the herd or trust propaganda and don't question if there's a better way or if there's a different solution that works better for them.
Propaganda Blitz The USA citizenry is very much aware of how bad our public education is, but there’s so much corruption in the field that those who have the means just send their kids to private schools or Catholic schools
The whole concept of children sitting in neat little rows listening attentively while a teacher talks at them is fundamentally flawed. Even worse is those countries that also impose uniforms. You do get teachers within the current system that encourage independent thinking and such, but ultimately the structure of schools is just flawed.
I finally figured out that my social anxiety came from severe lack of self esteem. Throughout most of my life I had family, friends, and teachers all either make me feel dumb or blatantly tell me I was. Finally landing my dream job as a software developer was unreal and since then I have a new confidence in myself and don’t care much what others think because I’ve surpassed what most of those people that called me dumb will ever do.
I love your philosophy. I already don't care what people think of me, and that allows all the happiness in my life. My friends, who do care what others think, are miserable. I'll make sure to share the link to this video with them, although I doubt they'll let it help them.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 5th grade and when I was put on medication, it really worked. until i turned 17 and went to early college, and started having existential thoughts.
Amiibo Alec same here, but at least you can recognize it now, It genuinely helps to avoid look at the floor.This helped me build my confidence with very little social pressure of coming off wrong, this helped me with making eye contact and this is the first step to engaging in conversations. My main source of social anxiety comes from talking to chicks but at getting to the point of realizing I’m a cute young guy and this chicks would probably bang me if I ask them out(I’m still working on the asking them out though 😂) but chicks are so cute I begin to go blank when I even look at them. Life too short and everything we want is on the other side of fear.
Man i started existential thoughts filled 12 notebooks and am still in process of filling notebooks with thoughts. I thought about them and got smarter
What is an existential thought? I'm getting the idea of critical (often philosophical) thinking revolving around the question: "What is reality?" When looking it up I get directed to an anxiety group website
Urgence Pc I was thinking “how’s life” and “having a good time here” and I just said “ how’s life a good time here?” Never have I ever ran out of a store faster in my entire life.
"There is no amount of medicine that you can take that can fix other people's problems!" I love it! Keep doing you Louis. I'm a robotics researcher and IT major and would be honored to work with you some day!
I've had social anxiety, depressive thoughts and sucide attempts when I was 7 till 13 yo I think. Everyday was hell and I really felt alone, family problems were crazy back then, there would often be fights and we are a big family of 12 but no one seemed to get along with each other, everybody had their own problems including my parents so nobody noticed what I was going through, except for my 2 younger siblings sometimes, at least they were there to listen to my crazy mental breakdowns and expose my sucide attempts and stopped me, I wouldn't dare do it in front of them they were young, I also feel kinda sorry they had to see me like that back then but they didn't judge or seemed frightened, they just listened. I was always on my own room, isolating myself from everybody else and I truely love that while watching anime, reading books, playing video games, drawing or crafting, whatever I felt like doing, these hobbies kept me sane. In middle school I used to watch TH-cam regularly and I still do that now, I watched a lot of self help videos about rising kids, family, friends, emotional and psychological problems and issues like this one and they really helped me build my character, self confidence, being myself unapologetically, I really don't care what others think about me and not shying away from talking about mental problems like it's a normal conversation. My family got better not great but a lot better than the last 10 years, this year I opened up a bit to my family about my personal issues and my friends more, even with people I really don't know. I'm very introverted but also honest, straightforward and face my fears head on. I fear a teacher, I sit in front of the class, build a connection, eye contact, participate and throw jokes when it's appropriate. bullies hit me I hit them back without any hesitation like it's a muscle reflix. I low key feel thrilled to fight but just when it's necessary ofc.
I was always told as a kid that i'll miss being a kid, but being 25 now and I never have. My childhood years were the worst of my life. I've gotten to the point now where i'm somewhat comfortable around my co-workers and I can interact with minimal anxiety. Even making small talk with random people isn't that bad. But it took 7 years to get to this point and there is still progress to be made. The best thing a parent can do for their child is to home school them. The educational system is the last place you want your child.
Yeah, but what he's saying is a good way to work throught anything from just severe shyness to a real meantal disorder. Making goals of overcoming your fears like this is something a real therapist would say. And it's also a useful thought experiment for people who are misdiagnosing themselves because of a poor self image.
Yeah for sure, your attitude shouldn't change depending on whether it's a mental illness or not, the line between illness and problem is very mushy with a lot of grey area where both therapists and friends can offer you good advice, but in any case there should be effort made my the person in question to deal with whatever they were given. My issue was not with that part of his story, it's just that people being good at one on one conversation in my experience means they are in fact *more* likely to have some form of social anxiety, because that's what they *do* learn when they find groups difficult to handle for example. Or when they suffer from poor self image they learn to be extra super nice to the few people they talk to, because they don't start new interactions easily. @@TwenOalley
If someone, anyone, "can't" hold a one-on-one conversation they are severely damaged as a person. That's just a fact. So yeah, you're right...may not be social anxiety, could be mental retardation, or psychopathy of some kind, or simply severely low IQ without retardation, limited verbal ability to the extent that it affects their mind like a low IQ would, or other severe and/or irreparable damage to their rational/and-or language areas of the brain. One-on-one conversation is not somehow optional or "a choice" like so many young people think. Its the basic element of distinctly human existence.
@@sarahlittlefarm5070 IDK if calling people with a mental disorder a "damaged person" is going to help anything.. such as social anxiety but are still able to hold up conversations when need be. Mental Health isnt as black and white you see it. but all good its just your opinion and im not here to change that but People who have too much anxiety to talk to strangers are NOT severely damaged as a person. They just ned to work on coping skills. not everyone is like you
Thank you, Louis. This means a lot to me. It's hard feeling alone in that shit and unable to express yourself without being wildly misinterpreted and misunderstood. Thank you!
working in higher education for 30 years, your words about school at 3'18 really hits a chord with me. SO true. sharing honesty is something that often gets me in to trouble, only three days ago I saw an injustice and 'shouted' about it on social media. Almost cost me my job, but nothing will stop me speaking up when I feel like it. I wasn't an Ahole, Hopefully I can always look in the mirror and smil back at myself.
Louis, I found this video at a relevant point in my life. Thank you. My company had a team meeting yesterday where everyone mentioned that I am too quiet, not expressive, and that while I am "likeable" I do not show myself to the group. This was feedback that I have been constantly receiving since I've started - and occasionally throughout my life in groups where I do not like the majority. And while I typically have little to no problem expressing myself most of the time - in certain groups I find it impossible. I shut off and become shy. And I've hated this about myself for this almost my entire life. I love expressing my opinions, thoughts, and ideas - but I've allowed their feelings to take priority over my own. I now understand that I am at this job to challenge myself to not care what these people think. I have to fire myself and proceed accordingly. I sense that they will be upset with me. They will misjudge me. Some may even come to hate me. But I am confused any more. Those are their feelings. Not mine. Thank you so much.
This video is by far the biggest blast in my YT discoveries. I find this advice very instructive... I'm thankful to my brother who showed me this channel and thanks to you, Louis, for sharing your thoughts. You ooze stillness and that's much relieving...
11:08 This nearly brought me to tears, Lou. I've been on Zoloft. All it did was make me feel more depressed. (EDIT: It was back in 2005) I had honestly never thought about the fact that I'm "proud" to be a geek, but still don't always bring up the things _I_ enjoy (anime, video games, programming, technology, etymology, etc.) when I first meet somebody. And I've even been told to tone it down directly: my ex thought that I was always speaking down to her toward the end of our relationship just because I was trying to get her interested in more than just frickin, celebrity gossip BS and "reality TV". But anyway you're really motivational because you speak from the heart and I always feel it when I watch one of these. I recommend these videos WAY more than your repair videos and I'm _really_ glad I found out about your channel through LTT about six or seven months ago. Thank you for being you.
To be fair some people do have social anxiety and ADD although they are both over diagnosed all the time. Like everyone has social anxiety but some people have anxiety disorders. And everyone will struggle to be attentive at times but certain people have a problem of needing more mental stimulation to be attentive. I believe this to be the case for myself. I don't recall teachers in elementary school saying that I have these things it was more of my parents suspicion. But I do wholeheartedly agree with teachers can often put the blame on students for not finding a class engaging or the concepts not taught properly. I think my ADD has helped me become keenly aware of where certain teachers fail and succeed and making class stimulating and engaging, teaching is sort of an art, unfortunately it's often thought of as a science that doesn't evolve so it often seems like education techniques are the only thing that hasn't changed or been analyzed by mainstream content. People just appear to be content bitching about public education without offering a solution or just thinking it works fine as it is. Edit: I also don't think having social anxiety issues or ADD should be taken as an insult or attack. It's not a badge of honor of course. It's just an issue some people inherently have and have to cope with.
I agreed with you up to the point where you started talking about psychiatry. Social Anxiety, just like regular anxiety can be caused not by life experiences but an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. Thus oftentimes just the same as patients who have psychosis, depression, or schizophrenia, these people with social anxiety cannot just turn it off by not caring about what other people think. Other than that, the rest of your video was very interesting; the points you made about people who criticise you for sharing your experience of the world and them not having an identity was right on the nose.
Thank you Louis for being inspiring! I'm just starting the path. And found out that it started to feel lonely in my circle, that keeps get smaller and smaller regardless me trying to pool some of my old friends to a new level.. They just go away feeling offended or threatened with the truth, even with the detached jokes. That makes me sad, but I feel hope stronger with you sharing.. Thank you.
Many of us have had an overbearing parent who told us that our opinions and likes had to be the same as theirs. When you finally stand up for yourself it makes people angry and they put you down. We do have a voice. We have a right to think our own thoughts and to live our own lives and speak for ourselves. Speak out and share and stop worrying about what others think. Thank you for this, Louis Rossman.
8:17 literally had 3 people try to block and park in my driveway today & yesterday. I know that doesn't mean anything to you. But to me, I wigged out and felt like maybe me wigging out is why nobody talks to me. But I feel better about it after EVEN you say other people shouldn't be doing that. So funny you used that phrase. Made my whole Saturday better. Screw my neighbors they are jerks. Have a yard sale and let people block your neighbors driveway. Totally rude.
Dear Louis, I love your rant and teaching videos, I found this channel because of the board repair - having fixed my own 2010 Macbook Pro back in 2013 - I now love this channel for it's personal and business orientated wisdom. Please do more business related videos, they have not only helped me but also friends around me. You are an extremely motivational speaker of logical devices, I can't imagine anything more convincing. I am a sound engineer and producer, your history in the industry intrigues me. Please share more about this? I really enjoyed the video called "Do you bend the rules for high paying clients?" It taught me and some friends a lot about business etiquette and respect. All the best. Thanks for the content!
louis is a better therapist than my actual therapist. that really shouldn't be true. kinda happy he's so good at talking about issues that matter though.
Going to have my son listen to this. He is 10 y/o (soon to be 11) and just started middle school this week. I've been trying to hammer these concepts into him, but Louis puts it so much more eloquently. Plus I am 'Mom' so my words are lightweight right now.
dude, it took someone at work looking for a guide on fixing a MacBook pro keyboard to find you and it was a repair video I couldn't stop laughing at and found more on your channel that wasn't just about repairs but great opinions and stories because of work I found your channel, you had under 70k subs at the time. I'm glad to be subbed to this channel and one of the reasons you got your silver play button :)
Wow. A light bulb seriously just went off in my head. I have been to multiple therapists for my anxiety and not a single one ever mentioned this to me. This makes so much sense. You have helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you.
I didn't fully watch this video yet, but so far, nearly every time I scroll and see one of his videos, he's speaking true wisdom and uncommon common sense. Great stuff bro. Thank you.
Louis, I think everything you said is very true. I was the cliche popular girl in school and while I had a belief in secondary school that what other people thought didn't matter I also realized now in my twenties that some of my most superficial moments which you partly described as someone doing to others was really myself reflecting myself onto others the problems of my own (which are quite personal). Although some of these problems have lead to proper therapy with world class doctors in the psychiatric field (Bipolar, anxiety attacks, and PTSD) my point is that when you were discussing those childhood points that lead to other people later on having "social anxiety" which is really mistakes of people like me and see that in person I now try to make an effort to say "hey, it's not your fault; when you start to learn that what other people think are trivial as long as you're happy with yourself." Obviously there's a line but people should embrace your advice. I've learned that when one shows who they really are and act as who they really are people embrace you and start to feel safe to connect with their own identity. It sometimes takes time but in the end I've seen that most learn the best version of themself is to just be themself. Yes, there are people who will never learn the lesson that you described but if people learned this lesson much earlier in life they would fine "social anxiety" is nothing more than relative and especially during things like secondary education where kids don't have a choice - that's something that hit home with me because I was the girl on the other side: the popular one as everyone puts it and some of the harshest things I did in those years were really just me projecting internal struggles onto people that didn't deserve that type of stuff. Something I really do tell people when they hear the things I plan and do now in my 20s and see the shock I say "we're all our own type of crazy; crazy makes life a little more fun." It's also the advice I give to people who later in their life are still troubled by "social anxiety." I've watched your videos for some time now and this is the first one I've commented on. I did so because your candor about subjects like this is something we need more of in this world.
Very wise words , it took me untill i was 28 before i learned this and it changed my life. Get right with yourself, love yourself , accept the things you cant change , change the things you can , take risks and dont fear regection , be kind to others open up to be emotionally vulnerable to make real human connections.
God damn this was good i have been in a slump for ages and i feel like I've locked myself away from a lot of social interaction and i'm so much unhappier as well as the fact i have been censoring myself a lot when talking to others and i realise when ever i have made a meaningful friendship and made people like me is when i was being genuine and revealing exactly who i was opinions, interests and all and speaking my mind and saying what the majority wouldn't want me to say i'm going to try to be much more genuine and be me and reveal my true individual thoughts and also start conversations in public as well! there has been to many times i have seen someone and wanted to strike up a convo and just haven't so i'm definitely changing that thank you my man peace !
It’s amazing as a teenager who wants to change the way I go about life for the better and recently I’ve been watching a bunch of your videos and how much I’ve learned about people and social interaction is absolutely amazing along with stuff about board repair
Well yes and no. Not everyone who will ask you why you're so anxious or stressed are projecting that about themselves. Some people like myself used to be that way and have conquered it over time. I found the key or secret to getting over it and I'd like to share it with others. Or perhaps that person is genuinely concerned why someone is so stressed. The rest of your video is correct. People without personalities do seek to take it from others.
Perfect explenation of underlying social tension. I feel as though its difficult to be genuine when feeling as though i have nothing within my ability to stand up for myself. There is always an underlying potential for human conflict and that potential heavily skews my identity and how id like to connect to people. I dont want to dominate anyone, but i dont want to be dragged on a leash either. This talk perfectly exemplifies the need for physical self defence, and using only the force necessary to keep yourself genuine. This dude is about as good as fixing brains as he is computer components
they diagnosed me with adhd and gave me ritalin and prozac. i went from a friendly outgoing and heartfelt kid who was open to receptivity and information that I was receiving from speech therapists to a very robotic personality, intent on being perfectionist and liable to lose my temper over small things. this messed with my ability to even feel natural feelings from people and i ended up taking things like flirts from girls as personal intimidation, which just led to further emotional baggage that compounded and made me even more anti-social. I basically had to start doing drugs to even be social with people, and that nuero-chemical imbalance that those original meds started just ended up causing further complications for me. Oh well I guess thats life, you win some you lose some
You know....my boyfriend had the same experience. He's 25 and hasn't been on it since 17 (i think). He's more or less back to himself, he claims. I'm a female and was late to be diagnosed with adhd at 16. I'm 23 now. Adderall changed me quite a lot. Im more talkative, positive, confident, and productive but at the cost of my creativity. I feel more capable of taking on difficult/mundane tasks but i absolutely cannot finish a fiction book. I miss reading for fun and sketching...painting... I have to be an adult and i don't know how to do that without adderall.
I know very little about psychiatry. I hear many stories about medicines having intense side effects, like people just not being themselves and everything. Why do these medicines do this? Was the medicine designed with avaricious(making money) and nefarious intent? Also can one recover naturally? My deepest condolences for all the dilemmas that you've all had to face, I wish you opulence but most importantly happiness.
Thank you for your opinion. You have no idea how important it is that I hear this. Thank you. For everything you do. Even if it's for you or for everyone else. The fact is it helps me personally means to me that it is a great kindness. Thank you again
Dude. This should be shown once a year in every school grade. And then shown in college and at work, to remind people on what is actually normal behavior and what is actually fucked up in our human interactions. As a European transplant, it's particularly noticeable and hard for me living in the US as I see everyone tries to be "nice" but never speaks their goddamn mind in fear to upset the other person. This also leads to never really meet the true personality (if there is one) and all relationships to be superficial.
Goddammit, so fckin accurate Luckily to an extent, I manage to get my own identity and reduce my anxiety issue, man school is one hell of a prison, much torture
I can relate, or at least i could and now kinda, stay yourself, I might not have many friends being the alty person i am but i'm happy to be myself. And i wish that for you as well
Hi Louis, I found your channel today and I have to say you are a breath of fresh air on the internet. Thanks for your videos, I don't have a need to study component level boards but what you do is totally fascinating to watch and understand. I love the fact you do these repairs, Apple should be ashamed of themselves....I do electrical work, sound and video, but my capacitors are bigger than yours! I also enjoy your profanity, it's nice to find someone who swears like I do... They say it is a sign of intelligence......who the F knows.... Thanks for the many hours of videos, you are very easy to watch and listen to.
I just happened on your videos two days ago, starting with "Don't scream around children" and DAMN you are an intelligent, observant, problem solving person, and a genuinely good dude. Thanks. :')
Out of balance ego is the cause for what Louis is describing. He's absolutely right! Know thyself, recognize and tame your own ego and all will truly fall into place.
@leet hacker it’s been a while since I said that ; in my past “friendship” I was indeed correct, however now my parents think I’m socially anxious bc they don’t see me at school, and ppl at school think that bc I didn’t look for friends when my last “friendship” ended . Tldr: I’m not socially anxious but everyone has a bullshit reason why they think I am
As someone who is many decades his senior, I notice Louis displays wisdom many, many years beyond his current chronological age. There *IS* hope for the future!
For 13 years I had a best friend who was one of these ppl who had no identity and hated it when I expressed mine (also was a narcissist) where my truth was not valued and was viewed as something to be swept under the rug cuz it would make me unpopular and I should try and be more like him. It REALLY affected who I was, how i acted and even how i thought. Buying into their reality brainwashes you. I became like you said; unable to express myself. acting like someone with no identity to avoid conflict and all the while devalued for lacking social skills. I was suppressed, I didn't lack social skills really, at my previous school I had lots of friends and was growing quite popular BECAUSE OF MY PERSONALITY and that was because there I was free to express myself, the ppl around me there were good and enjoyed it when I expressed myself and didn't punish me for it. (Im not friends with that dude anymore and my life is a lot better)
It’s not only the great facts that you deliver, it’s the way you deliver them. Your speech pattern and tone is exemplary. You would be a great Politician!!
Also I do agree about the Junior Developer. I have discussed it with my colleagues and we all agree that it is a full responsibility of CTO and it is mostly their fault for not having their test/learning environment to be independent from their prod. I feel sorry for that Junior Dev, it is a hard hit to take
I am introverted and have social anxiety. I was never good at samll talk so I can't really have in depth conversation with anybody, because all they know is small talk.
What you are expressing here is so important. There are many genuine, thoughtful, sensitive people out there who feel alienated and hearing this message from one of their own kind could really benefit them. I myself have reflected many times on the perspective shift you talk about here, being in a cage looking out vs being outside a cage looking in. It almost gave me goosebumps to hear you use that metaphor. Because I know the feeling. The world could sure use a few more people like you Louis. Thank you.
A friend of mine recommended this to me, and it helped me so damn much, I thank you Louis, although I do not know you, you and my friend have helped me more than you know.
Thank you to everyone who made a purchase on eBay via our affiliate link at rossmanngroup.com/ebay for helping support this type of content. Your viewership is appreciated and as always, I hope you learned something!
Thank you for your hard work Louis!
This video is great! I recognize how I was like that as a kid. But in my twenties I took a brutal but slow change and are now the free man, or at least more free than most seem to. Thanks again for shedding light on this!
Louis Rossmann
"Good night #2."
Dam Louis that was savage. #Respect.
I was diagnosed with adhd Not for being attention but for fidgeting they didnt want to take me and test me for social issues or anything.
I want to be your friend
Louis is like an older brother we never had
Dad we never had
@@randomness4989 we*
😭😭😭
He reminds me of my older brother and my brother-in-law. I'm realizing more and more how lucky I am to have them.
Exactly my dude. The elder bro i have is toxic af (or maybe i am?)
I got a new marketing phrase for you:
Louis Rossman
First i'll mend your electronics
Then i'll mend your soul
I cant see him saying if
the electronics are reasonable priced, but the priceless advice is free
TheBeholder333 I’m sad that this never caught on.
But how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down
Naw he'll make it better
Just put a wire on it
And lots of flux.
The microscopes and other electronics are actually used by Louis for doing measurements and analysis of the human condition
LOL
disco__ The human condition is not objective.
Nothing he said is particularly groundbreaking or intelligent
@@Nutmegp or you are a prospective beginner still in the can-do-better phase
@@Nutmegp What is your YT channel for the ground-breaking stuff ?
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - J Krishnamurti
Right now in the middle of the rona, myself and a few friends are using our garbage coping mechanism, well suited to living in trauma, poorly suited to polite society, to help our normie friends cope with this crazy shit.
“The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does. They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.” -aldous huxley
@@callmetony1319 and its just got worse in the UK ... I am getting out of the bullying crap. Fortuantely I can , some cant.
So glad someone else is spreading this quote around! Namaste!
The mention of teachers/parents labeling their kids with ADHD or bad behavior is disgustingly accurate. I met a lot of kids who were worried I was going to be mad at them if they misunderstood a math lesson I was trying to teach them, when in reality they were probably some of the smartest kids I've ever met.
I used to know one particular person who thought he had autism for 22 years until he found that he was misdiagnosed and just an introvert.
ADHD is a legit thing, but people really don't know what it is. Its comorbid with stuff like Bipolar disorder, autism, depression, etc and manifests itself as an executive function disorder. Its actually underdiagnosed, despite the media saying otherwise. I wonder how many people take up smoking as a habit because they're not diagnosed and are simply using the nicotine's stimulant effects the way I use my adderall.
Doctors may need to be held accountable too. They just roll with it when they hear vague keyterms from the parents. Prescribing things like ritalin literally as an experiment on the kid to see if you do better or worse in the short term instead of taking time to properly diagnose a case and think of the long term consequences.
Most doctors do the best they can with their time, just like any other profession there is a time/result equation. Some times its not worth it for Louis to repair a MacBook, sometimes he tries and fails.
Intelligence has nothing to do with it. In fact your job is to inspire them not fill them with information. EVERYONE is self taught ultimately. You find your interest and you become inspired to get really good at what you do.
The cure to my social anxiety was realizing that pretty much everybody else has it too. I was always so worried about trying to make myself seem like a normal human being until I realized everyone else was winging it too. The power you have once you get to that realization makes you literally invincible.
Weathers95 this is so true, wow
This is an underrated comment, even if people lack an identity you must hope for the best from them otherwise you are simply no better
Same thing for me, so quickly I turned from being introspective in social situations to reading other people’s body language. And even though sometimes I’m not 100% and get the brain fog it was like an over night change from the realisation that I’m an individual and everybody else is too busy anxiously thinking about themselves to notice me in my anxiety.
I don't think everyone has it, but it is still a good way to look at it
There were times I hung around the cooler kids and they were more of a mess than anyone. The difference is they tend to have a selfish will and put it on everyone else. So others feel the wrath of their fears, ignorance and insecurities. Many people can't step out of their clique. They have the same friends they had since they were little kids and they sort of supported each other. You take those friends away from them and they will be in the same boat. Many of us become victim of circumstance. For example if your parents moved a lot you likely failed to hold on to the same group of friends and were unable to full adjust to one environment.
I love when you talk about your opinion.
Gage Richardson I like it when he talks about his opinions as well. He gives good advice
Opinion is devoid of fact, this video has fact after fact and very little unsubstantiated opinion.
While his evidence is anecdotal, it's also very very valid.
It's not really an opinion, it's more of a conclusion
Joey Greathouse Yeah this guy absolutely blows my mind sometimes and I'm a shit-ton older than he is. If I'd had his talent for thought at his age God only knows where I would be today.
Preach Louis, preach! Sometimes I do not agree with people, but with Louis I don't care when that happens. Louis is Louis, and that is as it should be.
This a really weird looking TEDx stage, I love your videos man !!
TED is a gathering for cultists. The further he stays away from it, the better for him.
@@gaulishrealist really? I like some of thier talks
German Realist I don’t know man, there are some good ted talks.
@@gaulishrealist There are actually good talks though. One about a black guy seeing the "CEO of Racism" aka the KKK, interesting story.
He really does deserve time on TEDx
I was one of those kids labeled as ADD and went through all that crap. finally someone said no matter his grades put him in the advance class as a trial. I almost immediately went from a C/D student to straight As. he said he doesn't have ADD he just isn't being challenged and is shutting off. that man turned my life around and almost 20 years later we are still friends. People need to stop labeling people and actually listen to them.
I wish I was in your school. I was 3 grades above in English and 2 in math until I was 11. Then I moved and was put in normal classes. I hated it. For 2/3 years, I was doing the EXACT SAME work that I had already done. I decided to teach myself programming, which ended up taking lots of time away from school work.
In high school, I was getting good at programming, but shit at school. My parents took away my computer access and then I had nothing to challenge myself with. I ended up with a 2.2 GPA coming out of high school. I probably could have had a 4.0+ if classes were interesting and challenging. Instead, middle school taught me that school is prison and conditioned me to avoid it at all costs.
Now I'm a shit programmer with a poor school record.
Jason Becker: This is the exact reason I want to become a ethical hacker. Because really any other job I will get extremely bored with. Due to them not challenging me in new and creative ways.
This happened to me. I was accidentally placed into an advanced placement class. This was in high school. Not only wasn't I supposed to be there (the "track" I was on was wrong for it) but it was a class for seniors and I was a junior. Until the teacher found out, and he was angry, I was maintaining a very high grade. When was forcefully transferred into the boring class my grades dropped.
sp1nrx Damn, that sounds like shit. I’d fight the school on that one.
That last sentence is so true and so important
Through the entirety of my life, I've never idolized anyone, or had a mentor per se. Sure, I've seen personal traits in someone that appealed to me, and adapted (adopted? not a native speaker) them. But never have I had this sense of idolization for someone, until now.
I am truly humbled in saying that for the first time in my life, I've found someone with the ability to not only shed light on concepts in a whole new manner, but subsequently helping me ignite that inner fire to deal with said concepts/issues.
Maybe you'll never read this, Louis, but I want to write it regardless. You've randomly come into my life at a time of need. And I whole-heartedly appreciate you, and the fact that you've made an impact on my life. Thank you.
i feel the same
I totally understand the lack of a mentor figure kind of thing. I really appreciate these talks that Louis does. It's like I've finally met someone who understands how I think.
Couldn’t have said it better myself
Me five
Same here man
This video has been more enlightening to me than my last 3 months of therapy combined. Probably time to change therapist.
iCach0 If Louis can fix motherboards, he surely could fix you.
DeathlyHall0w CBT isn't the only therapeutic method available, though, maybe you should try to go to someone with a different approach, like gestalt or psychoanalysis.
Nice, relatable for me as well, i used to act like others so i didn't have to be myself because i thought myself was lame, but now that i am myself i feel so much better and more accepted. So i wish you luck with living your fucking life;)
Time to follow his advice and ditch any therapy
Hayk Avagyan He didn’t advise ditching any therapy, only ditching therapists not putting in effort to engage with you, just sitting and saying “how does that make you feel?” every 5 minutes.
3:10 ish Reminds me of a joke I read once.
A man who was flying a hot air balloon and had lost his sense of direction saw another man standing on a hill, so he descended a little bit to speak to him.
"Could you tell me where I am?" asked the balloonist.
"You're approximately twenty feet off the ground in a hot air balloon." the other man replied.
"You must work in technology."
"Why, yes! How did you know?"
"Everything you said was technically correct but of absolutely no use to anyone."
"You must work in business."
"Yes, I do. How did you know?"
"You don't know where you are or where you're going and you expect me to be able to help. You're in exactly the same situation as before, but now it's my fault."
😂
This video helped alot. I used to have social anxiety until last year. I applied for a job that require me to go to public places and advertiser/Reach out to customers. The first month of the job was hell. i was super stressful and spilled multiple coffees in the office due to panic. Luckily, our senior manager was also a consultant and consult me on a daily basis.
I remember the first day of the job i had to go to shopping mall and open a stand were i reach out to potential customers. It was absolute disaster. My colleague managed to get around 10 new potential customers while i go 0. Later that day, our senior manager sat down with me and explained to me how i can overcome the fear of rejection(which was bothering me the most when speaking to people regarding a product).
Long story short, he told me to not give 0 shit about what they say. Just move on to the next. It was hard, but i managed to over come anxiety in 8 months.
the hardest part by far was the first time i spoke with one of the High management from Barclays bank. i was really nervous and i think he probably knew, but thanks god he made it easy for me to communicated professionally with him.
if it was not for my job and genuinely caring management, i would have still had anxiety.
A lot of the people in those positions probably have experienced the same, so they empathized with what you've gone through. Congrats for being part of a cool and understanding company, not everyone gets to have that :)
DuckieMcduck yeah. I was super lucky.
yeah. that's exactly what i thought. Now its very easy for me to speak with strangers. it opened for me the opportunity to work at costumer related jobs like call centre, high street stores etc.
Unfortunately one does not just stop having social anxiety or any form of anxiety. We can deal with it, improve how we interact with people and feel better about it, but it doesn't usually go away.
Im afraid to even apply for jobs due to my social anxiety, sometimes I feel like Ill be jobless till my death
I'm so glad I have the inability to stop my thoughts from coming out sometimes. Most people give me shitty attitudes, weird looks and shit. Call me wierd. And I'm just telling them what happened 5 minutes ago.
This is why I can't work retail. Only seldomly I meet people that can actually hold a conversation.
I'm deeply saddened by this fact of life. Most people don't wanna even have a conversation. Like at all. They think you're a creep for wanting to. Like there's and ulterior motive or something.
Believe me when I say there ARE people out there that also are... Over sharers (like me lol). But it's a matter of finding your tribe. Finding spaces where that is encouraged for you to share your feelings and thoughts. Book clubs, film clubs, meditation retreats are spaces where you can share your thoughts in a safe place and actually get satisfaction from speaking with people
Agree. Some one out there thinks that every one is talking too much and they just wish every one would just appreciate silence. I love to talk on and on, but when I‘m tired, I cannot handle it, it infuriates me that others will invade my „auditory space“ as I like to call it lol, not always but when I‘ve had a long day of arguing all throughout, the last thing I want to do is talk some more.
@@jackismname I'm sure every human understands this. Shit dogs have moods like this, however, if it's the first time I've met you, how would I know?
I can't. So instead of being boring, I'm a story someone might tell.
I came to this channel from a video bashing Apple, and from that self-indulgent apple bashing I've learn't so much about racism, life, depression and now social anxiety. Your perspective on Social Anxiety makes so much more sense, if I speak my mind I either find people who are tolerant and have depth to them, or I find people who are intolerant and shallow and not worth my time. The alternative, being tense and trying to step around eggshells presents nothing but misery as an alternative. I just wanted to say thank you for all your videos, I think discovering this channel will end up improving my life a lot.
I just get into social situations and my mind goes blank and I don't know what to say
Practice putting ur mind in the situation. Idk
Practice makes perfect, but don't throw yourself in at the deep end. Like Louis said, baby steps
TJM Practise and be willing to not have a good conversation. If you’re trying you’re winning!
I feel you. That is EXACTLY what happens to me too. I told a close friend, "It's not that I have all these thoughts but censor them around other people, it's that when I'm around people it's like my brain shuts down and I don't get any thoughts at all".
From my experience, the problem isn´t that you don´t have information and emotions in your brain. It´s that you´re not connected to what´s happening between you and the other person. You´re instead within your mind, counscious of the fact that you haven´t said anything for "an eternity" and that realization makes it even harder to find a relaxed, fun place within your mind.
My theory is that conversations should instead be seen as imporvisation games, where things just pop into your brain and you say them. No judgement, they just need to flow. Most of the time it will be utter bullshit, but sometimes you strike something interesting. With time you "fail better" and strike gold more often. This requires that the other person plays along of course.
Problems that arise with this is exactly what Louis is talking about in the video, so find lower stake conversations to practice. Of course, you do you, this was and is my approach though.
Thanks, I needed this.
Now, off to chatting with some waitress, and responding "you too" when they say "enjoy your meal". That's gotta be fun.
* sigh * meeeeeeee
Laugh at urself bro stop being so hard on urself
Sometimes when that happens, the person hears you, knows what you meant and understands because it's probably happened to them too.
I find it more funny than anything, that’s the main reason I’m a server at the moment.
It’s fun knowing how different people communicate.
I was serving at a restaurant a few years ago and got the "you too" all the time. Most of the time I acted like I didn't hear it to spare the customers the embarrassment, but one time I made a joke about it and they became by favorite customers.
Never thought id receive life advice from a computer repairman. This is what the internet was made for.
I love these kinds of videos you do. A big reason why i subscribed.
I know, and I thought he 'just' fixed computers for the first 5 videos I watched... clearly I was wrong!
I was such a non-talker in high school that a friend of the family could hardly believe that I had somehow managed to get myself a girlfriend. Fast forward 15 years--I was still a one-syllable-answer kind of guy, a small-time carpentry and construction contractor. Then, for reasons I don't feel like going into here, I became a hairstylist. But man, that was my ticket to talking to people. As a hairstylist, you MUST manage peoples' hair AND their minds. Because their default setting is not so good. You can see it in action if you're a quiet stylist. You can see em think: "What's wrong?" "Why isn't he talking?" "Is he mad about something?" "Is he mad at ME?" _"OMG, he doesn't know what he's doing. He's gonna ruin me."_ The default setting leads to a downward spiral.
So I forced myself to talk. It was hard going. But I made myself do it. Tried to find what I had in common with people. An old grandma, say. Maybe she raised kids? I started talking about my kids. She talks about hers. A young guy comes in, gets assigned to me, takes one look, figures I'm gay; he doesn't like me. I think (We'll see about that; maybe I can make you like me). I start talking about car repair. Yeah, he's interested in that. I do his haircut and we get along okay.
Can't say I was ever a stellar stylist, but I really grew to like the conversation part of the job, better than any other part. That's the huge boon I got from my stint as a stylist. I learned not _how_ to talk (I already knew that), but _to_ talk.
People really want their hairstylist to talk constantly? I always want them to stop asking me questions and just get on with cutting my hair.
@@ian1352 Surprisingly enough the vast majority do like a chatty stylist. In all my 4 years as a hairstylist, only ONCE did I have a client request peace. "Can we just be quiet today?" she said. "Sure!" I said and shut up. And I was thinking (I can still do that; if you want quiet, I'm your guy!)
Anyway Ian, if you prefer quiet, just ask for it.
opposite. it's more the person getting the haircut (me) is thinking if the hair stylist is asking those questions.
Just don't ask me a question right after you tell me to tuck my chin into my throat.
@@osmano675 Okay.
You should do a podcast
+Joe Spadaro this is my podcast!
Louis Rossmann yes ok but upload it to spotify please :)
@@ChromicLights What makes spotify better than youtube-dl + a audio player in that case?
@@lucav4045
Ease of auto DL, playlist building, simpler searching, all in one app instead of fucking around plugging this into that to get around YT not playing with screen off, storage size is an issue on many devices.
Sufficient answers to straightforward question?
11:03 "Why did you cease to express your identity to the world to appease people who don't even have one?"
I really needed to hear that! It's so easy to be trampled down and get stuck in a mental rut, especially sitting at a desk in a home office all day with barely any social interactions. Your life talk videos are helping to pull me out of that rut. Thank you for that!
many people can talk about their opinions but few really strike a chord, thank you for giving me a whole new perspective on the kind of life ive been putting myself through to appease people! this really did change alot of things for me
"There is no amount of medication, that you can take, that will fix other people's problems."
Well said.
I remember playing an MMO and made a few friends there. Both me and my friend were socially awkward, and I noticed behavior in them that I didn't like, but was doing myself. The thing that I noticed first was that when I got them a gift costing a reasonable sum of gold in game, they would try and reject taking the gift because they can't possibly accept that. They were more wrapped up thinking that I would rather keep my gold or spend my time getting stuff for myself than getting something I knew they would enjoy. What was worse was that I did that all the time myself, I would put up a stubborn defense against receiving any such gift.
I was thinking too much about them and what would have made them happy that it took me a while to realise that they probably just enjoyed sharing things with me like I did with them.
please make a self help book and call it Rossman Life Repair Group, im serious you have a gift for these sorts of topics and offering advice :)
"self help" isn't real.
I saw a great question: "why are there no help others books?" we need help, but it's a lot easier to get when we all help each other
happytree: I think Louis's self help videos, like this 1, might say it better than he could with just printed words in a book. I like your title, though.
I don't know which I admire more. Your work or your advice. Both are fucking great. And to think I found you because I wanted to brush up on my soldering.
11:52 Is very true. I have been in therapy for quite a while and worked a lot on myself, still nowadays I still struggle with a bunch of negative emotions. As I talked to my therapist about that, she told me that in fact there wasn’t anything about those emotions wich came from me being mentally ill anymore. It was just the very natural reaction of feeling bad after people around me treated me badly.
Very nice talk. I believe school is geared toward creating worker bees where there's not much room for independent thought.
The second you step out of that narrow little band you must walk in to be considered "normal" they start trying to whip you back into it. So quick to medicate a kid because they're not "normal". The truth is, that child's "normal" may very well be something far more spectacular. I have seen children who have found relief from medicine but not so often. It's the people around them who are seeking relief. A very narrow way of thinking really.. When you make that decision, you are not choosing to medicate a child - you are medicating a grown ass adult. When you alter their path in such a way, you are changing them as an adult.
I have met some really good teachers. Some of the teachers that our kids have lucked out with have been very open thinkers and encouraged our kids to do stuff their own way. But still - tie up weeks learning the state capitals? uhhhhhh, what?? Oh that's right.. must fill in that time that useful things could fit in :)
I find most adults are like this too, they've been so well trained to follow the herd or trust propaganda and don't question if there's a better way or if there's a different solution that works better for them.
Propaganda Blitz The USA citizenry is very much aware of how bad our public education is, but there’s so much corruption in the field that those who have the means just send their kids to private schools or Catholic schools
The whole concept of children sitting in neat little rows listening attentively while a teacher talks at them is fundamentally flawed. Even worse is those countries that also impose uniforms.
You do get teachers within the current system that encourage independent thinking and such, but ultimately the structure of schools is just flawed.
@Propaganda Blitz I'm not at all convinced that Putin is doing anything that would encourage independent thought or free expression.
I finally figured out that my social anxiety came from severe lack of self esteem. Throughout most of my life I had family, friends, and teachers all either make me feel dumb or blatantly tell me I was. Finally landing my dream job as a software developer was unreal and since then I have a new confidence in myself and don’t care much what others think because I’ve surpassed what most of those people that called me dumb will ever do.
I love your philosophy. I already don't care what people think of me, and that allows all the happiness in my life. My friends, who do care what others think, are miserable. I'll make sure to share the link to this video with them, although I doubt they'll let it help them.
This video is the most profound explanation and alternate perspective of/on social anxiety Ihave ever heard. Thank you.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 5th grade and when I was put on medication, it really worked.
until i turned 17 and went to early college, and started having existential thoughts.
Amiibo Alec same here, but at least you can recognize it now, It genuinely helps to avoid look at the floor.This helped me build my confidence with very little social pressure of coming off wrong, this helped me with making eye contact and this is the first step to engaging in conversations. My main source of social anxiety comes from talking to chicks but at getting to the point of realizing I’m a cute young guy and this chicks would probably bang me if I ask them out(I’m still working on the asking them out though 😂) but chicks are so cute I begin to go blank when I even look at them. Life too short and everything we want is on the other side of fear.
Man i started existential thoughts filled 12 notebooks and am still in process of filling notebooks with thoughts. I thought about them and got smarter
What is an existential thought? I'm getting the idea of critical (often philosophical) thinking revolving around the question: "What is reality?"
When looking it up I get directed to an anxiety group website
"Just say something to the cashier"
"HI. NICE RACK."
Urgence Pc yup social anxiety in a nutshell
H-hi how it go...FUCK!
sexual harassment isn't really a great opener, lol
Urgence Pc I was thinking “how’s life” and “having a good time here” and I just said “ how’s life a good time here?” Never have I ever ran out of a store faster in my entire life.
@ɮօʊռċɛ օʄʄ it is though? Legally? Unless the person doesn't mind?
I don't blame people for not saying everything on their mind when they are working.
Lmao underrated comment
Me neither, I wish I didn’t sometimes because I say some retarded shit sometimes.
"There is no amount of medicine that you can take that can fix other people's problems!" I love it! Keep doing you Louis. I'm a robotics researcher and IT major and would be honored to work with you some day!
I've had social anxiety, depressive thoughts and sucide attempts when I was 7 till 13 yo I think. Everyday was hell and I really felt alone, family problems were crazy back then, there would often be fights and we are a big family of 12 but no one seemed to get along with each other, everybody had their own problems including my parents so nobody noticed what I was going through, except for my 2 younger siblings sometimes, at least they were there to listen to my crazy mental breakdowns and expose my sucide attempts and stopped me, I wouldn't dare do it in front of them they were young, I also feel kinda sorry they had to see me like that back then but they didn't judge or seemed frightened, they just listened. I was always on my own room, isolating myself from everybody else and I truely love that while watching anime, reading books, playing video games, drawing or crafting, whatever I felt like doing, these hobbies kept me sane. In middle school I used to watch TH-cam regularly and I still do that now, I watched a lot of self help videos about rising kids, family, friends, emotional and psychological problems and issues like this one and they really helped me build my character, self confidence, being myself unapologetically, I really don't care what others think about me and not shying away from talking about mental problems like it's a normal conversation. My family got better not great but a lot better than the last 10 years, this year I opened up a bit to my family about my personal issues and my friends more, even with people I really don't know. I'm very introverted but also honest, straightforward and face my fears head on. I fear a teacher, I sit in front of the class, build a connection, eye contact, participate and throw jokes when it's appropriate. bullies hit me I hit them back without any hesitation like it's a muscle reflix. I low key feel thrilled to fight but just when it's necessary ofc.
I was always told as a kid that i'll miss being a kid, but being 25 now and I never have. My childhood years were the worst of my life. I've gotten to the point now where i'm somewhat comfortable around my co-workers and I can interact with minimal anxiety. Even making small talk with random people isn't that bad. But it took 7 years to get to this point and there is still progress to be made. The best thing a parent can do for their child is to home school them. The educational system is the last place you want your child.
I agree. Public school was a prison. When people say those are the best years of your life, they are either lying or had a horrible life....
Just because someone can hold a one on one conversation doesn't mean they don't have social anxiety though...
Yeah, but what he's saying is a good way to work throught anything from just severe shyness to a real meantal disorder. Making goals of overcoming your fears like this is something a real therapist would say. And it's also a useful thought experiment for people who are misdiagnosing themselves because of a poor self image.
Yeah for sure, your attitude shouldn't change depending on whether it's a mental illness or not, the line between illness and problem is very mushy with a lot of grey area where both therapists and friends can offer you good advice, but in any case there should be effort made my the person in question to deal with whatever they were given.
My issue was not with that part of his story, it's just that people being good at one on one conversation in my experience means they are in fact *more* likely to have some form of social anxiety, because that's what they *do* learn when they find groups difficult to handle for example. Or when they suffer from poor self image they learn to be extra super nice to the few people they talk to, because they don't start new interactions easily. @@TwenOalley
If someone, anyone, "can't" hold a one-on-one conversation they are severely damaged as a person. That's just a fact. So yeah, you're right...may not be social anxiety, could be mental retardation, or psychopathy of some kind, or simply severely low IQ without retardation, limited verbal ability to the extent that it affects their mind like a low IQ would, or other severe and/or irreparable damage to their rational/and-or language areas of the brain. One-on-one conversation is not somehow optional or "a choice" like so many young people think. Its the basic element of distinctly human existence.
@@sarahlittlefarm5070 This whole paragraph was somewhat ridiculous imo. But I guess thats an opinion for you.
@@sarahlittlefarm5070 IDK if calling people with a mental disorder a "damaged person" is going to help anything.. such as social anxiety but are still able to hold up conversations when need be. Mental Health isnt as black and white you see it. but all good its just your opinion and im not here to change that but People who have too much anxiety to talk to strangers are NOT severely damaged as a person. They just ned to work on coping skills. not everyone is like you
Thank you, Louis. This means a lot to me. It's hard feeling alone in that shit and unable to express yourself without being wildly misinterpreted and misunderstood. Thank you!
This is the mindset I have taken. Stop putting in a pedestal what other people think, and put in a pedestal what YOURSELF thinks of YOURSELF .
working in higher education for 30 years, your words about school at 3'18 really hits a chord with me. SO true. sharing honesty is something that often gets me in to trouble, only three days ago I saw an injustice and 'shouted' about it on social media. Almost cost me my job, but nothing will stop me speaking up when I feel like it. I wasn't an Ahole, Hopefully I can always look in the mirror and smil back at myself.
How the hell does this one man speak the thoughts in my head no one seems to care about except me? Sir, Thank you. I really mean it.
Louis, I found this video at a relevant point in my life. Thank you.
My company had a team meeting yesterday where everyone mentioned that I am too quiet, not expressive, and that while I am "likeable" I do not show myself to the group.
This was feedback that I have been constantly receiving since I've started - and occasionally throughout my life in groups where I do not like the majority. And while I typically have little to no problem expressing myself most of the time - in certain groups I find it impossible. I shut off and become shy. And I've hated this about myself for this almost my entire life. I love expressing my opinions, thoughts, and ideas - but I've allowed their feelings to take priority over my own.
I now understand that I am at this job to challenge myself to not care what these people think. I have to fire myself and proceed accordingly. I sense that they will be upset with me. They will misjudge me. Some may even come to hate me. But I am confused any more. Those are their feelings. Not mine.
Thank you so much.
This video is by far the biggest blast in my YT discoveries. I find this advice very instructive... I'm thankful to my brother who showed me this channel and thanks to you, Louis, for sharing your thoughts. You ooze stillness and that's much relieving...
11:08 This nearly brought me to tears, Lou. I've been on Zoloft. All it did was make me feel more depressed. (EDIT: It was back in 2005) I had honestly never thought about the fact that I'm "proud" to be a geek, but still don't always bring up the things _I_ enjoy (anime, video games, programming, technology, etymology, etc.) when I first meet somebody. And I've even been told to tone it down directly: my ex thought that I was always speaking down to her toward the end of our relationship just because I was trying to get her interested in more than just frickin, celebrity gossip BS and "reality TV".
But anyway you're really motivational because you speak from the heart and I always feel it when I watch one of these. I recommend these videos WAY more than your repair videos and I'm _really_ glad I found out about your channel through LTT about six or seven months ago. Thank you for being you.
Same...I even have the same hobbies
There are plenty of girls that are into that stuff and are beautiful too. Just be patient and continue being yourself.
@@nmjr547OK
To be fair some people do have social anxiety and ADD although they are both over diagnosed all the time. Like everyone has social anxiety but some people have anxiety disorders. And everyone will struggle to be attentive at times but certain people have a problem of needing more mental stimulation to be attentive. I believe this to be the case for myself. I don't recall teachers in elementary school saying that I have these things it was more of my parents suspicion. But I do wholeheartedly agree with teachers can often put the blame on students for not finding a class engaging or the concepts not taught properly. I think my ADD has helped me become keenly aware of where certain teachers fail and succeed and making class stimulating and engaging, teaching is sort of an art, unfortunately it's often thought of as a science that doesn't evolve so it often seems like education techniques are the only thing that hasn't changed or been analyzed by mainstream content. People just appear to be content bitching about public education without offering a solution or just thinking it works fine as it is.
Edit: I also don't think having social anxiety issues or ADD should be taken as an insult or attack. It's not a badge of honor of course. It's just an issue some people inherently have and have to cope with.
bleh. my wireless transmitter is dying. I just got a new one so hopefully newer videos won't have so much noise.
There's a high chance that no one except you noticed it.
Listening through a colorful tube amp with a box fan running in the room, it sounds good from my perspective.
still, you bring some quality content here
Louis Rossmann Im using radio based headphones so it doesnt matter. The quality is anyways a lot better than what some put up to youtube tbh.
re doing it won't be the same, wouldn't carry the same attitude
"There is no amount of medicine, that you can take, that will fix other people's problems. "
Words to live by.
I'm amazed how much of this video actually makes sense.
This is a very solid assessment of the state of things.
Well done, sir.
I agreed with you up to the point where you started talking about psychiatry. Social Anxiety, just like regular anxiety can be caused not by life experiences but an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. Thus oftentimes just the same as patients who have psychosis, depression, or schizophrenia, these people with social anxiety cannot just turn it off by not caring about what other people think. Other than that, the rest of your video was very interesting; the points you made about people who criticise you for sharing your experience of the world and them not having an identity was right on the nose.
Thank you Louis for being inspiring! I'm just starting the path. And found out that it started to feel lonely in my circle, that keeps get smaller and smaller regardless me trying to pool some of my old friends to a new level.. They just go away feeling offended or threatened with the truth, even with the detached jokes. That makes me sad, but I feel hope stronger with you sharing.. Thank you.
Many of us have had an overbearing parent who told us that our opinions and likes had to be the same as theirs. When you finally stand up for yourself it makes people angry and they put you down. We do have a voice. We have a right to think our own thoughts and to live our own lives and speak for ourselves. Speak out and share and stop worrying about what others think. Thank you for this, Louis Rossman.
Dude you learnt me more about life then school did in 16years.
Than*
looks like school isnt and never will be anything but terrible
@@pesky2119 That's the thing you chose to correct? Not the fact he said "learnt" instead of "taught"?
Ikr
Learnt me more? Are you a fucking moron?
8:17 literally had 3 people try to block and park in my driveway today & yesterday. I know that doesn't mean anything to you. But to me, I wigged out and felt like maybe me wigging out is why nobody talks to me. But I feel better about it after EVEN you say other people shouldn't be doing that. So funny you used that phrase. Made my whole Saturday better. Screw my neighbors they are jerks. Have a yard sale and let people block your neighbors driveway. Totally rude.
Dear Louis,
I love your rant and teaching videos, I found this channel because of the board repair - having fixed my own 2010 Macbook Pro back in 2013 - I now love this channel for it's personal and business orientated wisdom. Please do more business related videos, they have not only helped me but also friends around me. You are an extremely motivational speaker of logical devices, I can't imagine anything more convincing.
I am a sound engineer and producer, your history in the industry intrigues me. Please share more about this?
I really enjoyed the video called "Do you bend the rules for high paying clients?" It taught me and some friends a lot about business etiquette and respect.
All the best. Thanks for the content!
Thank you!
louis is a better therapist than my actual therapist. that really shouldn't be true. kinda happy he's so good at talking about issues that matter though.
Going to have my son listen to this. He is 10 y/o (soon to be 11) and just started middle school this week.
I've been trying to hammer these concepts into him, but Louis puts it so much more eloquently. Plus I am 'Mom' so my words are lightweight right now.
The view you have on these subjects is precise and surgical. Thank you for the insight and the wisdom.
Thanks. Playing to ONE person's 'ew that's too enthusiastic' screwed my ability to self-express/actualise as a teen.
as a guy who grow up with none of my parents, i really appreciate these kind of videos. thank Mr. Rossmann
Thank you, Louis. I was very down when I saw this video, and it really made me feel better. You're a great speaker. Much love from Canada.
This is why the video format is amazing. It took me three years to find this video and I gained SO much from it. Thanks Louis!
dude, it took someone at work looking for a guide on fixing a MacBook pro keyboard to find you and it was a repair video I couldn't stop laughing at and found more on your channel that wasn't just about repairs but great opinions and stories
because of work I found your channel, you had under 70k subs at the time. I'm glad to be subbed to this channel and one of the reasons you got your silver play button :)
Wow. A light bulb seriously just went off in my head. I have been to multiple therapists for my anxiety and not a single one ever mentioned this to me. This makes so much sense. You have helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you.
Louis Rossman is the best therapist I've ever had.
I didn't fully watch this video yet, but so far, nearly every time I scroll and see one of his videos, he's speaking true wisdom and uncommon common sense. Great stuff bro. Thank you.
Louis, I think everything you said is very true. I was the cliche popular girl in school and while I had a belief in secondary school that what other people thought didn't matter I also realized now in my twenties that some of my most superficial moments which you partly described as someone doing to others was really myself reflecting myself onto others the problems of my own (which are quite personal). Although some of these problems have lead to proper therapy with world class doctors in the psychiatric field (Bipolar, anxiety attacks, and PTSD) my point is that when you were discussing those childhood points that lead to other people later on having "social anxiety" which is really mistakes of people like me and see that in person I now try to make an effort to say "hey, it's not your fault; when you start to learn that what other people think are trivial as long as you're happy with yourself."
Obviously there's a line but people should embrace your advice. I've learned that when one shows who they really are and act as who they really are people embrace you and start to feel safe to connect with their own identity. It sometimes takes time but in the end I've seen that most learn the best version of themself is to just be themself.
Yes, there are people who will never learn the lesson that you described but if people learned this lesson much earlier in life they would fine "social anxiety" is nothing more than relative and especially during things like secondary education where kids don't have a choice - that's something that hit home with me because I was the girl on the other side: the popular one as everyone puts it and some of the harshest things I did in those years were really just me projecting internal struggles onto people that didn't deserve that type of stuff.
Something I really do tell people when they hear the things I plan and do now in my 20s and see the shock I say "we're all our own type of crazy; crazy makes life a little more fun." It's also the advice I give to people who later in their life are still troubled by "social anxiety."
I've watched your videos for some time now and this is the first one I've commented on. I did so because your candor about subjects like this is something we need more of in this world.
Very wise words , it took me untill i was 28 before i learned this and it changed my life. Get right with yourself, love yourself , accept the things you cant change , change the things you can , take risks and dont fear regection , be kind to others open up to be emotionally vulnerable to make real human connections.
God damn this was good i have been in a slump for ages and i feel like I've locked myself away from a lot of social interaction and i'm so much unhappier as well as the fact i have been censoring myself a lot when talking to others and i realise when ever i have made a meaningful friendship and made people like me is when i was being genuine and revealing exactly who i was opinions, interests and all and speaking my mind and saying what the majority wouldn't want me to say i'm going to try to be much more genuine and be me and reveal my true individual thoughts and also start conversations in public as well! there has been to many times i have seen someone and wanted to strike up a convo and just haven't so i'm definitely changing that thank you my man peace !
It’s amazing as a teenager who wants to change the way I go about life for the better and recently I’ve been watching a bunch of your videos and how much I’ve learned about people and social interaction is absolutely amazing along with stuff about board repair
Well yes and no. Not everyone who will ask you why you're so anxious or stressed are projecting that about themselves.
Some people like myself used to be that way and have conquered it over time. I found the key or secret to getting over it and I'd like to share it with others.
Or perhaps that person is genuinely concerned why someone is so stressed.
The rest of your video is correct. People without personalities do seek to take it from others.
Pls tell us
Perfect explenation of underlying social tension. I feel as though its difficult to be genuine when feeling as though i have nothing within my ability to stand up for myself. There is always an underlying potential for human conflict and that potential heavily skews my identity and how id like to connect to people. I dont want to dominate anyone, but i dont want to be dragged on a leash either. This talk perfectly exemplifies the need for physical self defence, and using only the force necessary to keep yourself genuine.
This dude is about as good as fixing brains as he is computer components
they diagnosed me with adhd and gave me ritalin and prozac. i went from a friendly outgoing and heartfelt kid who was open to receptivity and information that I was receiving from speech therapists to a very robotic personality, intent on being perfectionist and liable to lose my temper over small things. this messed with my ability to even feel natural feelings from people and i ended up taking things like flirts from girls as personal intimidation, which just led to further emotional baggage that compounded and made me even more anti-social. I basically had to start doing drugs to even be social with people, and that nuero-chemical imbalance that those original meds started just ended up causing further complications for me. Oh well I guess thats life, you win some you lose some
Took my sister 5years to bounce back, it will take time but you can do it
You know....my boyfriend had the same experience. He's 25 and hasn't been on it since 17 (i think). He's more or less back to himself, he claims.
I'm a female and was late to be diagnosed with adhd at 16. I'm 23 now. Adderall changed me quite a lot. Im more talkative, positive, confident, and productive but at the cost of my creativity. I feel more capable of taking on difficult/mundane tasks but i absolutely cannot finish a fiction book.
I miss reading for fun and sketching...painting...
I have to be an adult and i don't know how to do that without adderall.
I know very little about psychiatry. I hear many stories about medicines having intense side effects, like people just not being themselves and everything. Why do these medicines do this? Was the medicine designed with avaricious(making money) and nefarious intent? Also can one recover naturally?
My deepest condolences for all the dilemmas that you've all had to face, I wish you opulence but most importantly happiness.
Thank you for your opinion. You have no idea how important it is that I hear this. Thank you. For everything you do. Even if it's for you or for everyone else. The fact is it helps me personally means to me that it is a great kindness. Thank you again
>"you're in a prison"
that hit too close to home
Dude. This should be shown once a year in every school grade. And then shown in college and at work, to remind people on what is actually normal behavior and what is actually fucked up in our human interactions.
As a European transplant, it's particularly noticeable and hard for me living in the US as I see everyone tries to be "nice" but never speaks their goddamn mind in fear to upset the other person. This also leads to never really meet the true personality (if there is one) and all relationships to be superficial.
Goddammit, so fckin accurate
Luckily to an extent, I manage to get my own identity and reduce my anxiety issue, man school is one hell of a prison, much torture
I can relate, or at least i could and now kinda, stay yourself, I might not have many friends being the alty person i am but i'm happy to be myself. And i wish that for you as well
A good quote I once heard, "what other people think of you is none of your business", seems appropriate for part of this video. Well said, Louis.
Hi Louis, I found your channel today and I have to say you are a breath of fresh air on the internet. Thanks for your videos, I don't have a need to study component level boards but what you do is totally fascinating to watch and understand. I love the fact you do these repairs, Apple should be ashamed of themselves....I do electrical work, sound and video, but my capacitors are bigger than yours! I also enjoy your profanity, it's nice to find someone who swears like I do... They say it is a sign of intelligence......who the F knows....
Thanks for the many hours of videos, you are very easy to watch and listen to.
I just happened on your videos two days ago, starting with "Don't scream around children" and DAMN you are an intelligent, observant, problem solving person, and a genuinely good dude. Thanks. :')
you cleaned your office space for us! Wow, so clean!
Out of balance ego is the cause for what Louis is describing. He's absolutely right! Know thyself, recognize and tame your own ego and all will truly fall into place.
It clicked..
I can do anything!
Truth. You can care about what others think, but not more than you care about what you think.
I know I’m not socially anxious yet people constantly tell me I am because I happen to not care what random kids think
Accept our accusations, you socially anxious person!
@leet hacker it’s been a while since I said that ; in my past “friendship” I was indeed correct, however now my parents think I’m socially anxious bc they don’t see me at school, and ppl at school think that bc I didn’t look for friends when my last “friendship” ended . Tldr: I’m not socially anxious but everyone has a bullshit reason why they think I am
@@andreassmed2255 with pleasure mes amis
As someone who is many decades his senior, I notice Louis displays wisdom many, many years beyond his current chronological age. There *IS* hope for the future!
I used to care about what people thought about me.
Now I care about what they will *do* to me.
Rioters: hey there!
manictiger rioters are just abusive oversharers.
ITT: People who didn't get the sex reference
Spot on Louis. You are a real gem of a person! Honest and frank.
Your success is what you are.
For 13 years I had a best friend who was one of these ppl who had no identity and hated it when I expressed mine (also was a narcissist) where my truth was not valued and was viewed as something to be swept under the rug cuz it would make me unpopular and I should try and be more like him. It REALLY affected who I was, how i acted and even how i thought. Buying into their reality brainwashes you. I became like you said; unable to express myself. acting like someone with no identity to avoid conflict and all the while devalued for lacking social skills. I was suppressed, I didn't lack social skills really, at my previous school I had lots of friends and was growing quite popular BECAUSE OF MY PERSONALITY and that was because there I was free to express myself, the ppl around me there were good and enjoyed it when I expressed myself and didn't punish me for it. (Im not friends with that dude anymore and my life is a lot better)
Gee, what kind of best friend is that? I'm glad you managed to move on and kick him out of your life! Salute to you!
It’s not only the great facts that you deliver, it’s the way you deliver them. Your speech pattern and tone is exemplary. You would be a great Politician!!
Also I do agree about the Junior Developer. I have discussed it with my colleagues and we all agree that it is a full responsibility of CTO and it is mostly their fault for not having their test/learning environment to be independent from their prod. I feel sorry for that Junior Dev, it is a hard hit to take
I wish I had a friend like you. I don't have anyone in my life I can have meaningful conversations with anymore. It's soul-crushing to be honest.
I am introverted and have social anxiety. I was never good at samll talk so I can't really have in depth conversation with anybody, because all they know is small talk.
What you are expressing here is so important. There are many genuine, thoughtful, sensitive people out there who feel alienated and hearing this message from one of their own kind could really benefit them. I myself have reflected many times on the perspective shift you talk about here, being in a cage looking out vs being outside a cage looking in. It almost gave me goosebumps to hear you use that metaphor. Because I know the feeling. The world could sure use a few more people like you Louis. Thank you.
I love your take on this. Great video. Posted it to my FB community.
Thank you! I am glad to see you are still uploading as well!
Thanks, these old videos really have been helping me become a better person
Yep it’s so easy to be gas lighted into having said social anxiety when you are seeking external approval.
A friend of mine recommended this to me, and it helped me so damn much, I thank you Louis, although I do not know you, you and my friend have helped me more than you know.