Do Long-Term Relationships have to be Hard Work? - Always Open
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
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Join Barbara Dunkelman and special guests Kerry Shawcross and Yssa Badiola as they discuss the difficulty of being confident when comparing yourself to others in the media, forming habits, and the challenges of long-term relationships. And Beyblades.
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Do Long-Term Relationships have to be Hard Work? - Always Open
Thank you Barb for bringing back this show. The insight and compassion of you and your guests are a treasure and a delight in these times
Bumbleby scene still is the best confession of love in a show I've seen.
Wooh, I didn't expect them to answer my question so thank you. That should is could with shame is absolutely a good thing to go with. Therapy is also something I have considered, just could never bring myself to do it. Again thank you, especially how you signed it off. Not often I hear something like that, so thanks
As a plus size person who also didn’t have their first relationship until their mid-20s, I understand and empathize with the feelings of not feeling loveable and it’s a tough feeling to work through. But I’m also very confident in myself and that truly came from faking it until I made it. Even if I didn’t necessarily believe it yet, I still said the positive thing about myself. People underestimate the power of simply reframing your negative self talk in positive self talk. As silly as it may seem, think of yourself as your friend because you wouldn’t say mean things to your friend so don’t talk to yourself that way either
Also, reframe your reasoning behind losing weight. It’s easier to fall off track when you feel like it’s pointless due to not getting the romantic attraction you want. Try and find the ways exercise benefits you mentally and physically instead of romantically and aesthetically
As someone whos working on losing weight just doing physical activity has helped me mentally and with confidence even tho I am nowhere near where I want to be. Sure Im not what I want to be, BUT I am working on it, so I have nothing to be ashamed of. And even before I started and was at my heaviest I was in a relationship with someone who thought I was hot regardless
Edit to add: I still hate working out, I will always be a couch potato at heart but as they said routine helped. but also search for ways to be active that also dont feel like a chore, now that its warm out, instead of going to the gym on weekends Ill go for a bike ride. Its fresh air, getting sunlight, I bike to the park and sit at the picnic benches for a bit and watch the lake. all the benefits of working out with out the chore of it.
ALSO, try and find vegetarian/vegan substitutes to some of your fave unhealthy foods. My fave post workout meal is just cauliflower wings. all the fun of chicken wings without feeling unhealthy and greasy.
OMG KERRY
Love every time I get Yssa and Kerry on content!
Re: second question, relationships are hard. However, I will say a healthy relationship does feel different than an unhealthy relationship. I don’t give up on things, and one thing I’ve learned with my wife and after therapy, is I should have given up sooner on past relationships. If you feel like you’re trying to make something work, or justifying your relationship (and it’s flaws) you’re better off without.
It comes down to can you communicate effectively with each other. When that happens it feels almost wrong at first. Things do feel easier, but it’s because you’re expressing things and wanting to understand each other - rather than the normal games that you see stereotypically shown as “normal”. It’s one of those things where when you finally experience a healthy relationship, it becomes very obvious how many toxic relationships there are around you that have just become normalized.
Love Kerry and Yssa content, also ngl love that the v9 finale and BB kiss were the ones put forward; cause can definitely say those would be mine as well. Both being heavy hitting, gorgeously done, and just top-tier. Though I could say that about all of v9 xD
Kerry the Bumbleby scene is a masterpiece and I will never accept anyone saying otherwise. I cry every time I watch it!!!! Incredible job on it all involved!!!
RWBY volume 9 is amazing. The music is incredible. The characters’ development is real and beautiful. Worth the wait.
This feels like i have notes but in a much more chill way, awesome ep
In the intro, Barbara said that we have two wonderful people here when she should have said, we have three wonderful people here because Barbara is also wonderful!
I enjoy you all talking about how being a person is hard but doesnt make you terrible. Life is weird and should still be enjoyed
The gym routine works! I recently made the decision to go back to the gym. It started with me driving there, going inside. Sometimes I'd just use the massage chair and go. Sometimes I would change and not want to do anything. But I started once/ week. Up to 4 times/ week. I got sick and stopped, ruined the habit, so I've had to start the beginning over. But if you want to go to the gym, just go. You don't have to work out! Just go park and get in the habit of taking the trip. You'll get there!
Kerry and Yssa!!!! Its always great hearing from them. Kerry is so effortlessly funny is2g 😂
I love Yssa so much. She's always so positive and such a joyous presence.
if we don't get a risinger update i'll be crossed fr. LOVED hearing from Kerry and Yssa!!! so happy that this pod is back
Love the guest so much and love this show
This episode was so good! 😃Kerry and Yssa were both very insightful.
My girlfriends and I do straight up do couple's Beyblade fights. It's sick as hell.
On Friday next week will I have been in a relationship for 12 years. And we've lived together for about 5 of those years.
I guess some people will say that what we do to make the relationship function after all these years is hard work. But it really doesn't feel like hard work at all. It feels like the most natural thing ever.
21:17 I got an alcohol advert literally as Kerry said 'but not drink'
lots of hosts from lots of podcasts I used to listen to :)
I was literally thinking about how the phrase "you can't love anyone until you love yourself.." and how things aren't so black and white. When Yssa said it i was glad to hear it. It also can be a detrimental thought if taken too far, as I liked to continue it as, "You can't love anyone until you love yourself. But if you love yourself too much, loving someone else becomes trivial." It's ok to think you have flaws, cause someone may love you for that and they don't see it as a flaw.
It's also similar to support. Alot of people will agree they couldn't have accomplished milestones in their life without the support of other people, and some people may not be able to love themself until someone shows it to them. Sometimes we need support to believe in our selves and sometimes we need someone to remind us how to love.
Fun fact - your frontal lobe is still developing through mid-twenties (25ish, depending on individual factors). The term “emerging adult” generally encompasses the 18-25 age range to reflect the neuroscience.
As someone who turns 30 next month today's talk was very relevant. Thank you.
To the first question, basically don't do it for another, do it for yourself. Don't try, just do your thing, even not going out to look for someone, just go out and do something you like.
Need more merial
My wife and I have couples bayblades!!!
volume 9 is absolutely incredible and the bumbleby scene made me cry
They really *let it rip* in this episode, dude.
Interesting
Long Live RWBY #GreenlightVol10
Kerry reminding me of Bidoof's law: “will there ever be anything more timelessly funnier on this site than seeing some joyless idiot asserting their stupid controversial worldviews internet toughguy style and then checking their blog and they’re just, completely openly and shamelessly addicted to hentai”
Dear jeebus you have a struggle with notifications? What am I doing wrong in life to be content without it that long?