I've never been diagnosed, but I've thought I might have autism for awhile. My former psychiatrist said (I'm paraphrasing,) that I'm not "weird" enough to be autistic. My new psychiatrist, in my first session, asked me if I had a family history of autism. I used to rock, I don't anymore, but I fiddle with my fingers a lot. I also jump my leg up and down. I had visual therapy as a child, and they had to teach me to make eye contact. I can do it for a short period of time, but I have to look away every few seconds.
@PRISTINE JOEL Giving people false hope that an incurable condition has a cure is a disgustibg lie. Trying to mke money from vulnerable people who are desperate is a very low trick & you have very bad norals. You should be ashamed of yourself, or if you are a bot whoever programmed you should feel ashamed & guilty.
In my family (several of us diagnosed), we "tippy toe" walk, too. I just decided to call it "happy toes" after I heared you say "happy hands"! Thanks Dan!
Tippy toes here as well up until my older teen years. One of my autistic girls tippy toes as well and will flap or wave her hands when she becomes agitated.
I can’t do that because not only do I have autism but I also have bilateral club foot. I’ve had to have my feet completely reconstructed and I don’t think I will ever get to stand on my top toes. It’s a miracle I can even walk at all.
I'm 57 and to this day I walk on my toes if I am barefoot; also, as for eye contact, one can be on the opposite end of the spectrum-I get accused of staring at people all the time when I'm conversing with them-it's my way of focusing on them, but i've been told i'm too intense
In the southern US states, eye contact is a sign of respect similar to using “sir” and “maam” or holding the door open. Ironically, i feel that makes it easier for me to have eye contact now because it was instilled at a really young age, but it was a lot of work to learn it, more so than my friends.
If I don’t look at certain individuals as I pass them, I feel like I’m going to be seen as dismissive or rude so I intentionally make eye contact to show they are seen even if it’s something I’m not comfortable with. I’d prefer not to make eye contact but I’m afraid I will be misinterpreted.
Like the other comments mention, eye contact is highly cultural. Among most mammals, eye contact signals aggression. Even in cultures that prioritize a certain amount of eye contact, if you do it too long or with the wrong person, then it is considered aggressive. If you do it with too much enthusiasm, it is considered creepy. Not enough eye contact can be interpreted as fearfulness, which can attract bullies. In many parts of American culture, it's considered disrespectful to completely avoid eye contact. I have practiced for years to make the right amount of eye contact when I'm walking past people on the street, because it's different in different neighborhoods and with different people. But I don't want to offend anyone. I also don't want to be targeted by bullies. 🙄
I can often tell if someone is autistic just by looking at them. I have been in a conversations with people and thought they were on the spectrum and then they have told that they have ASD. . I have autism and after studying it in depth and doing self analysis you can see your behaviors and mannerisms in other people. When you are on the spectrum you tend to attract other people who are t and you gravitate to activities where these people are. Poor posture is also common with people on the spectrum
I'm sure there are many people you miss too though. I don't mean to step on your toes. I'm autistic and I believe one of my sensitivities is empathy. I really don't like people telling me I miss read something that is obviously there... I'm not saying that you're miss reading, but I used to mask a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if you missed it in me for instance since many people saw me as extroverted. Not saying autistic people aren't but I am not. I left a lot of my struggles to myself. I guess we're not generic despite our labels, so I'm sure there are individuals you miss. Not trying to be offensive.
@@marcusrosales3344 I never said I can always tell but I said I can often. This is not me being arrogant but I have spent a lot of time studying how autism manifests in people and how it effects me and others. I have spent a long time observing people and I have gone to many therapists. When you get to a certain point in your life you get better as seeing patterns.
I got really good at eye contact by seeing it as a game but it takes so much energy. So when I don’t have the energy I will avoid eye contact and if I’m in a bad mood I’ll stare people down. 😂
I remember one office visit with my doctor before I fully understood my symptoms or much about my diagnosis and I recall being all paranoid trying to force myself to look at him..in my mind I was thinking "OH MY GOD IS THIS TOO MUCH?" i felt like a freak trying to make myself look in his eyes but I was also thinking " OH MY GOD IF I LOOK AWAY HE WILL THINK IM A LIAR". it was super stressful .. funny 🤣 now as I think back about it but that's how it goes and why I come up with a quote "IT AINT FUNNY YET".
@@cindyannsavage7515 Same for me, I remember counting how long I was making eye contact, taking a pause, making eye contact again, forgetting to count, and freaking out that I’d stared too long. 😂 I’ve improved since then but it’s still funny to look back on. I say something similar but mine is, “It’ll be funny in a minute.” Because I’ve also noticed I’ll laugh about embarrassing situations and find them genuinely funny, sometimes as soon as a couple minutes after.
I'm 46 and I still flap my hands. This was one of my big "aha, I'm autistic" moments: I realized that every night, when the last of my kids was in bed, I'd wave my arms, squeal and get the urge to jump. I have an autistic son who flaps all the time when he's excited. One day, those things just came together in my mind. "Oh my gosh, I flap my hands like Calvin." Now that I know about the stim, I've been indulging it more and I've stopped hiding it so much. It's very freeing 😊
Something im pretty sure people on the spectrum have is that they dont like just going places without a plan. Being taken to places out of nowhere sends me in a panic cause it wasnt planned and i may not have any interest in the place and may make me zone out/be non-interactive which upsets my friends or annoy them as they may think im ignoring them
Ha ha.. I'm the opposite. I hate plans because they don't allow me the breadth to zone out, get distracted, or to discover as I go. I like only the most general 8f plans because my brain may decide to glitch out or get hyperfocused.
That reminds me the one time I was traveling with a group of friends, my (ex) boyfriend, and his mother. We went to comic-con and his mother and his friends wanted to see a panel neither me or my (ex) boyfriend wanted to see. We weren’t allowed to skip, so we were forced to watch. I told them I didn’t know anything about this panel and I knew I was going to hate it. I was right. I hated it. I didn’t understand a single joke or anything they were talking about. Then the group got mad at ME because I showed that I didn’t like it and didn’t want to be there and that I hated it (like I thought I would). Apparently I was supposed to pretend to like something I didn’t maybe? I still don’t really know what I did wrong
Love your videos and insight. I have Aspergers and ADHD and my son does too and we typically function ok, for being on the spectrum but I recently lost my mom unexpectedly and both myself and my son began stimming constantly, we are both rockers and instead of hand flapping I snap my fingers and he touches each finger with his thumb from the first finger to the pinky one down and back up on both hands. Now with all the things extra stimming trying to deal with my loss, I realized that when I am talking to someone I will repeatedly squeeze my eyes shut. Just thought I’d share it with you and this video was great!
Anxiety and zoning out is still an issue but the other symptoms I learned to deal with when needed, I’m a public person. It is easier when it has a purpose. ❤️
I was diagnosed with ADD with autistic traits back in 2016, though I am currently looking into getting re-evaluated for autism and I had no idea that "zoning in" could be a sign of someone being autistic! I used to do it aaall the time, right up until I started taking antidepressants for my depression and social anxiety back in 2014, at 21 years old. Thank you so much for spreading the knowledge about autism, it's incredibly helpful to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.
It has just been recently brought up that my 16 y.o. son demonstrates Aspergers. I have struggled with him for years on and off until recently when someone said i should look into autism. Im glad i found your page. We are currently waiting on testing for him. Thank you. Your videos have been amazing for me to watch and get a better understanding of his behaviors.
I’m not a hand flapper or a large movement soother. I may sway back and forth sometimes. I grind my teeth and have had to get fillings in my front bottom teeth because of it. I tend to pick at my face, scratch at my skin and have trained myself to meet eyes as needed though it makes my anxiety skyrocket. I’m social but get massive social anxiety. I was so “tuned in” as a child that my mother would touch me to get my attention and She got my hearing tested as well. As I mentioned before on this channel, 3/4 of my girls have been diagnosed this year with ADHD/Autism spectrum. Now it’s my turn. How do women fly under the radar for so long?! How did I not see my own behaviors? So I guess I was just odd or different. How many more undiagnosed people are out there?
I don’t shake my hands unless they are numb. I use my thumb to count each finger on my hand. Pointer is 1 , middle is 2, ring is 3, Pinky is 4. Thumb is the leader of the count until # 5.. pinky counts Thumb.. This is my calming, thinking, stimming, savior. Good or bad, it grounds me and im thankful.
Dan, it's so cool to come across someone else who also has Autism ADHD, OCD, and Dyslexia. Plus, I have Treatment-Resistant Depression. And I've been 23 years clean and sober. I feel a little less alone and terminally unique.
Your videos help me understand my 14 year old so who’s been misdiagnosed. You are so open about sharing your experiences and I see many traits in my son. Thank YOU!
I have all of those apart from the issue with eye contact. I mimic however much eye contact each person makes. I have this weird thing where I don't like giving someone a title, so I work in customer service and rely on eye contact to let someone know I am talking to them because I don't like saying Ma'am or Sir and I don't like calling people by their names. The other one I do is noise. I make my own noise, click my fingers. I sing and hum to myself which was more noticeable when I worked in a shop that didn't play music.
Thanks. Even though I’m diagnosed, this is helpful for self-knowledge. Can you make a video about living with both ADHD and Autism? I’ve found with me they are strangely complimentary though each has its drawbacks obviously. Haven’t been able to find much on the internet.
Please this! I have both as well and would find this so so helpful. I know it’s not your responsibility, but the amount I learn from your videos have helped me communicate myself better to others. I’d be forever grateful if you talked about having both!
Great video. My son is 8 and other than being able to make eye contact during a conversation, he has every one of these characteristics. I think they are wonderful and explain to people who don't know him, who he is right away.
My boyfriend drums his fingers (like a percussionist) on nearly every hard surface he can. I believe it’s his more socially “acceptable” version of stimming. I love it.
Really appreciate your work! Didn't know about my Asperger or ADD brain until my 40s so everything helps (well, almost!) Thanks for keeping up good quality information and presentation.
@@elenamenendezgonalez9881, thank you for your compassion. Honestly, for most of that time, there was no related question in my mind. I was absolutely convinced that, despite my best efforts at personal/character growth, I was simply a very unfeeling (cold), unfeminine, clueless, scatter-brained, failure of a person who deserved whatever befell me in the social or interpersonal spheres. That included rejection, abandonment, ridicule, job loss, disrespect, etc. This situation is only part of the reason why channels like this one serve such an important purpose.
i also noticed a lot of autistic folk do the 'dinosaur hands' which was honestly my first clue to starting to guess whether i'm on a spectrum or not %)) it's not a universal sign ofc but i don't think neurotypicals do it that much
It's so funny how you mention being tested for deafness that happened to me when I was a child because I too did not respond to people-like my family, when they spoke to me.
Great video! I have a grandson who will be 2 years old next month, and he is on the spectrum but not yet diagnosed. I figured it out last November when I had him for 10 days straight. I have been reading and learning about autism since then, and look forward to more of your insight!
If he is a speaker, guide him to express himself successfully. By that I mean, > we may not always know what to say. There are what I would almost describe as rote phrases for a lot of situations. Knowing these (and why we use them) is very helpful. > Sometimes just being able to say, "I'm ({autistic-- some people prefer to say neurodiverse}--but that's presuming that he does end up with an ASD diagnosis; if not, you'll have to work out how to say it...) and I don't always understand. Do you mean {fill in the blank}?" helps to smoothly navigate public situations. > Sometimes nothing he can say is going to help other people behave correctly. If you can encourage him to accept it without thinking it reflects on who he is, you'll be giving him an immense gift. This is important regardless of how well he manages to communicate. > One more thing: while there are a lot of situations in which he's going to find it necessary to behave in ways other people dictate, help him learn to trust his own judgment and have confidence in his uniqueness. If you can do that AND keep him from overestimating the trustworthiness of others (but without becoming jaded) we will be putting you in for an award.
With eye contact it's important to note that in some cultures eye contact is seen as rude or offensive so are taught from a young age to avoid eye contact. So with eye contact it will depend on their culture and because cultural differences are never mentioned people can easily get confused as to whether they may be Autistic or not or may think that autism is only a western thing. All videos I have seen about autism signs mention lack of eye contact but they are not culturally diverse. I myself thought it was a major sign until I did the Open University course on Understanding Autism and then my own research to back that up.
Yes. In the Korean kingdoms of the Joseon Dynasty, commoners had to look down when addressed by someone of noble birth. Failing to do so could result in a beating or worse. And no one could look in the eyes of the king without permission. Failing to do so could get you executed. Of course none of this was black and white, but if you didn’t want to suffer dire consequences, you better not.
I had stimming bludgeoned out of me by means of criticism, mocking and bullying. I think food, smoking, drinking and exercise/danger addiction become an issue because they're a more socially acceptable forms of self-stimulating.
Hey man! I just wanna say thanks. I got referred to a neuropsychiatry today for autism, ADHD, OCD, and Tourrettes syndrome. (Almost the same as you, haha) After watching your video on stimming and then some other videos from Purple Bella, Adam Wonders, and Aspergers from the inside I decided there are just too many commonalities. Even in your overall demeanor when you speak, I almost see part of myself. That probably sounds weird, but its true. I've never seen a mental health professional before. I had a pretty traumatic childhood so I've never had the chance nor the bravery to go see someone. I've never been evaluated for anything. Today was the first time I saw a therapist of any sort. I've got you to thank for that....so thanks!
You can do this! It’s hard but so helpful to know it’s not just all in your head, so to speak. Don’t let them say it’s just PTSD. I’m dealing with a situation where my traumatic childhood was overshadowing my testing. Of course both cause PTSD due to your difficulties and differences but research your past behavior from family and friends if you can. I’m not always able to explain what I’m thinking and preparing notes sounds like school but it has been helping me.
Awesome content as usual! I would also like to hear more about the Autism/ADD side. My son has both & is extremely hyper, talks all the time & does not focus in well on tasks.
Me too. I just realized my son isn't making eye contact when he meets people. He stims and he is obsessed with his beyblades - it is the only toy he plays with. But he is diagnosed with ADHD alone. I'm wondering if there is autism there too.
often, on the zoning out, I'm watching what's going on inside my own head, as I tend to think chiefly in sense-images, and I can become Very unaware of the physical world. This happens to my son as well (he's 3), and he'll go from engaging the world or conversation, and then he goes thousand-yard stare and it's obvious he's watching things happen in his head- sometimes he narrates what he's looking at, which is interesting.
Everything gets turned into pictures in my head and the pictures become movies. All that translating takes time and slows me down with processing information. I can’t sit with a group of people especially chatty ones and keep up. By the time I have something to say they all moved on 20 minutes ago and look at me confused
Well half of those are me, rocking side to side, zoning in/ out and eye contact (though I was forced train to maintain eye contact, which then ends in me zoning out because I'm focusing on the persons eyes so much)
Interesting. I am not on the autism spectrum, and have all but the hand flapping. Dissociative identity disorder and cptsd. "Zoning out" being a "Dissociative state". "Stimming" or "grounding". Anxiety speaks for itself. Eye contact depending on the trauma survivor. I don't state all this to belittle your list. I find it interesting. Thank you for sharing.
Hi, I did a lot of research on autism and a loooooot of test. I reached a score even higher than the median for autistic people in most of the test groups was. I have PTSD wich makes diagnosing any Neurodivergency quite hard since many symptoms align. I'm currently trying to get the help of an expert. Eventhough I have looked at the symptoms of autism that are not included in PTSD and seen that they broadly fit I'm unsure. I don't know if I'm just lying to my self while answering questions. Throughout my life people have made comments on my behaviour (concerning autism) manly because of my attention to detail and selective mutism. But my parents told me that when I was very little I would smile at everyone. I also have an imaginary world that is much larger and ever more explored than the outside. But what I noticed in myself since doing research on autism is that I have been able not to always be the mirror of the person I'm talking to. I allow myself to stim. I have also told some of family members about why I sometimes wont show emotions, since they have been really disappointed in me because of that in the past. There are many more examples of how tactics manly used with autism have helped me, but I can't write all of them down because I have exams tomorrow and a lot of work to do. What I was trying to say was that even if it isn't autism I still feel better about myself. I'm sorry if I made any mistakes, I'm still learning English at school. Have a beautiful life
Yeh, I got into trouble at school for not hearing my group being called while I was reading, cos when I read, I genuinely don’t hear what’s going on around me. Literally publicly shamed by teachers for not listening, as if I wanted to be told off.
One thing you will discover early on is that "experts" who are not on the spectrum will get things wrong. I don't know of one person who has had a bout of selective mutism who is not on the spectrum. Autistic people are very imaginative; we do make eye contact; we have intense empathy, but often can't express it. If you can find a degreed expert on autism who is autistic, cling to them (figuratively.)
Your English is possibly better than mine and I was born in England 😄 I have C-PTSD from teenage trauma and began clearing that several years ago. Then in November last year took the autism test and the penny dropped. I have also been slightly confused as to whether I am making my autism up, but every time I watch one of the people I follow, I can identify with every person who has commented below. They can have very similar traits, but I can recall always being rather naive socially, very introverted, unable to fit in, different and quirky. And it was only when I thought more about eye contact that I realised how hard I found it throughout my life. All we can do is understand ourselves the best we can and find solutions to whatever problems we face - and create appropriate boundaries. I have been reluctant to seek a formal diagnosis as I don't want to put myself through being analysed and judged all over again. I am not sure they would come to a clean conclusion (or maybe they would) but given I am finding so much community in these groups (much more than any focused on PTSD) I am happy with my own conclusion for now. Wishing you a beautiful day (every day) xx
I would also say one would be flinching from sharp or loud noises. I am Dyslexic, autistic and I have an audio processing disorder. I know a lot of fellow aspies have issues with noise and have some sort of audio processing disorder. I have found great success with wearing mute earbuds Loop's are the best brand. It allows you to have a conversation but minimises all the burn out and sensory overload you would get in say a crowded restaurant. Another one would be surrounding yourself by soft stuff. I have sought out the softest jumpers, plushies, blankets etc my whole life. It's honestly the most soothing thing I have found and at times of great stress or if I am trying to concentrate I need to be petting something soft and fuzzy. I can't sleep properly without cuddling something soft. It's probably one of the most comforting stims I have and I feel stressed without having at least a small plushie in my bag or neat me.
I find people get mad at me when I'm focused on something important, since I have to "turn off" my hearing because it is too big a distraction. In elementary school I would stare out the window and rock in my chair, I was so overwhelmed by the florescent lights humming, the chaos of thirty kids being rambunctious, and a teacher demanding my attention. I have been obsessed with rocking chairs since i was a toddler. I'm sitting in one right now😁 I have a hard time getting my brain to stay on task, I liken it to trying to lead a stallion with dental floss tied to it's halter😅
I don't rock or flap, but eye contact is really something I struggle with. Sometimes it's ok, but 90% of the time, I simply don't know what to do, like sometimes for the first 10 seconds it'll be ok then something switches and it's like looking into the full beam of car headlights. Then sometimes I'll freak someone out by being way too full on with excessive eye contact, but I feel like I'm freezing up on the inside, to the point where I can't comprehend what they're saying. Uugg. My cat, however, completely accepts me. Which makes the world ok.
Cats get me. There’s mutual respect. So what they do when they are around my husband and me is give me the “I see you” and go straight for my husband because they can sense he is allergic to them. The fiends! 😂
All of that really resonated with me- I’m glad my family has finally agreed to letting me get an assessment and diagnosis. That last part especially hit hard because hyper focus of lack thereof is often associated with adhd or add, which is what I have been treated for since I was in 4th grade. It’s just really good to know that if I’m really into something that it’s typical behavior for someone on the spectrum to only hone in on what they’re interested in at that very moment. It happens to me a lot and several people in my family just think that I’m ignoring/avoiding/hating them. Thanks for these tips. I really feel more validated about the reevaluation of my neurological tendencies.
Not only do I rock back and forth in order to fall asleep, I also rock sideways if I am standing and am not immediately engaged in doing something, like waiting for a customer to come to my till or waiting for the bus. I used to try to hide it, but I figure I have been doing it for 52 years, why keep hiding it. 😁
I rock all the time. Sitting I rock, standing I sway and I always wiggle my toes when I’m trying to hide stims. I can’t sleep at night or relax unless I kind of wiggle my feet and toes against the mattress. I’ve done that since I can remember being 3 years old and now 61 still stimming.
I get away with my "hand flap" as a kid and now. I was a elite gymnast and now a rock climber so people think im just "pumped" and shaking the lactic acid out of my arms haha
I do the rocking, have anxiety, don't like looking people in the eye for too long, and the hyper-focus? Oh, yes. My husband knows when he comes into the room and I am focused on something (usually on the laptop) and he asks me something, I will look up after maybe a minute, and he gets the blank stare, because my brain is not fully there. "Ok, I'll come back and ask you later." He's been so great as I have been researching autism (self-diagnosed since age 60, a year ago). It has helped us understand each other better, and me, for sure, why certain aspects of daily life are so damn difficult. I am finding now that I have far less patience and am getting better at establishing boundaries (was not allowed to, as a child). I think what is happening is that I get tired far more easily as I get older. I simply do not have the energy to mask; to "perform", and I no longer give a damn about what people think of me. I am learning to, finally, be authentically ME, and it feels.... WONDERFUL. Thank you, Dan, as always, for an awesome video! Keep up the great work! Much love from the US.
Eye contact.... apparently i make tooo much eye contact. Like with most traits... we do stuff or too much or too little.. moderation ? What is that haha. Love your stuff. Thanks
Another couple signs can be toe walking (walking on tip toes or with heels off the ground), having a more flat/neutral facial expression…another one that came to mind was having a flat tone of voice, or saying things very bluntly. I’m sure there are more, right?! This was a great video 👍
When you say "zoning out," it makes me think of the blank, unfocused, emotionless look a lot of us default to even when we're paying close attention. Because we tend not to think about our faces unless we're made to think about them, we get called on being bored, or angry, or snobbish, when we're not. Also, and most of us are more invested in controlling this, there is what I call the "baby duck" walk. It involves toe walking, what I have also heard described as "T rex arms" (bent at the elbow, with the hands dangling, like tucked wings) and a bit of leading with the chin and the chest. But, again, we tend to be conscious of it, and you will rarely see it as a whole, or even some aspects, unless the person is excited about something, in which case, it seems to come out more as toe walking. There is sometimes a tendency to stand or sit with the head tilted to one side, a quizzical look. I may be fooling myself, but I think there is an ASD "vibe."
Love your video's. Would you consider doing a poll video or something similar asking the blood factor (Rhesus Negative or Rhesus Positive) that have Autism/Aspergers ? I would also like to know if one or more of their parents are of the Rh Negative blood factor. This means they lack the D antigen. The Rh Negative is very rare, and I am very interested in this question for comparison. Thank you for your time and consideration of my query.
Is this a re-upload? Could swear I've seen this before. Great job!!! Ow right, the autisme card that people can carry with them to hand over in an emergency..you got any idea if these are available in other languages? I haven't been able to find them in Dutch so far. 👍🏻Greetings from Netherland✌🏻
There are Dutch ones. In the Netherlands there's the Autipas from the NVA, and there's a card from Hidden Disabilities (they have a Dutch store). Autipas requires a copy of the diagnosis of one's autism, while Hidden Disabilities is without such a requirement :)
Always loved your videos Dan. You are one of my inspiration. Glad we have somebody like you representing and showing not only the truth, but that there is far more to who we are. After being shunned by my own family after my diagnosis (late in life) I found your channel. Just wanted to say thank you.
My husband was recently diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I have observed the following traits in him. Some are physical, some are behavioral. - over flexable joints - staring/variable blinking rate - flat feet - exaggerated sloping of shoulders - rubbing bald spots in his head - food texture and taste avoidance by opening mouth very wide when placing in mouth - OCD - stimming - reluctance to change - lying for personal gain - lying for no personal gain - masking/parroting - hiding large debt/ not owning up to it/not asking for help -tantrums/meltdowns - running away - physically assaulting people who confront their bad behavior - procrastination and/or avoidance - blaming their bad behavior on others Some of these traits showed up in the past 3 to 4 years. Some of the more subtle ones were always there. It has been stressful to have this diagnosis made when he is 52. Physical tests have ruled out early dementia.
Meet every physical criteria but am not dianosed or believed when I tell people close to me what I'm dealing with...how? What's worse is that it's hereditary so someone is denying their own traits. What's even worse is the likelihood of it coming from both sides which would help explain the difference in severity and obviousness. What's more, I think the condition worsens with time if there's no intervention or treatment. That's what makes sense to me with my experience.
I think you're scaring yourself too much. For one thing, although autism can be hereditary, it isn't always. A child of two neurotypical parents could have very low functioning autism for seemingly no reason. Also, autism usually doesn't need treatment. Therapy and support groups help, but going without won't make the autism worse and you'll eventually learn to live with it on your own. Autism isn't a death sentence, it's a different way to live
Focusing on something...When I was a kid, my mom once got furious at me for admiring the font on a "Sunset" pencil while she was helping me with my math homework. That kind of thing happened a lot. I still appreciate nice fonts.
Thank for this and all your other awesome videos 🙏 Another visible sign is an autistic person often wear the same cloth every day/have few changes in the way they dress.
Dude… You mentioned hand flapping and I was like "OMG, I do that, too" and then I noticed myself doing it, which made me laugh, which made me happy… Thank you
I amnot diagnosed but I recognise myself in many of these signs. I crack my joints in a specific way - starting with every joint in my hands, my wrists, my back, my neck, my ankles and finally my toes - so soothing but disturbs many people around me especially in an office setting haha! I now realise this is stimming. Also struggle with maintaining eye contact to the point that I'm sometimes concentrating on maintaining the eye contact that I forget to listen to what the person is saying. I don't have a rigid routine except a daily weed smoking addiction after work - its my comfort bubble where I can shut out the world and indulge in historical/political/geographical/nature documentaries.
I am also seeking diagnosis/waiting on my assessment. It is nerve wracking. I had a TERRIBLE time even finding a psychologist in my community who even wanted to do this for me. I talked to at least four who didn't at all seem open to the possibility that I could be autistic. The vast majority of diagnosis services are for kids and teens.
Hello Dan, I am new to the channel and currently I am trying to gain courage to tell my mon I want to be diagnosed for Asperger. Just one question, is it nromal for people on the spectrum to have maladaptive daydreaming? I love to daydream for hours while listenning to music and going in circles, creating social interactions or ranking things inside my head. Greetings
I heard that especially in woman and non-binary people daydreaming can be very common. It seems to help many cope with the social stress and to figure out communication.
Coincidentally, I once considered having a child with Autism get hearing screening when he started Zoning In. But each time I asked him to repeat what I said, he'd heard & memorized every word.
Im 27 years old, when i was a kid i was diagnosed with adhd because i had issues paying attention in class, now that im older i think i am on the spectrum of autism, my son was diagnosed with autism and they were trying to test for aspergers.
Before moving to my place.he use to live with his family,control whole house.no one allowed to sitting room,or kitchen only to cook,all windows are black out day and night.when agitated he hit his head,break things,slam doors hard,go to kitchen eat everything specially Chocolat biscuits,...ect...oh yes he get agitated from dog barking,crying babies,any noise coming from neighbors..even traffic noise...ect hope to hear from you,then I can share more information thanks
My husband's STIM is bottom lip jitters. Sometimes it can look like his lower lip was left in a freezer and he's trying to gain feeling to it . I definitely need to relearn my former methods of calming myself. Now I just tear up uncontrollably and make lots of grunts and growls to try and make myself stop crying 😢
Omg..lol! When you said one of the physical signs of autism..I was rocking side to side when you said rocking, then rocking side to side..I stopped and laughed..I also rock a lot..more when I’m angry or anxiety hits. But I am not autistic that I know of, my oldest son is..he’s high functioning. I have bipolar ll disorder, which is hereditary. I’m not sure how my oldest got his autism as there is no one in my family or hubbys family. Either way he is my autistic angel. 😊 But the reference to rocking had me laughing at myself.. ty!
Love your videos really helps me understand my 4.5 Yr old, he has.asd, adhd and spd, and can be very challenging at times but always rewarding 🥰 I'd be really interested to know what you were like as a child?
I was diagnosed with left temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) at age 32, it was 1993.. and less than a year after that I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism ... I also get horrible migraines..since all these are neurological I assume they may be all connected although I can't find any documentation on other cases or some medical info to know for sure...if anyone can offer any knowledge in this area I'd appreciate it. ~Dan..I've been Rocking for long as I can remember ..literally and to music 🎶...~ ~👍 Thanks! ,Cindy from Athens, Ga. USA
My mom is convinced I am becoming deaf due to listening to music loud in my ears - she's been saying that since middle school and had me take a test regarding that and my audition was fine. Considering she says the same thing to me dad (who also has adhd, like I likely have) I don't really take her seriously. Guess we'll see next time my audition is tested, but as long as I know, I've been asking people to repeat stuff for years and don't listen to music half as loudly as I used to when I was younger
There are terms that seem to be inverted like zoning in and zoning out. The term self stimulation sounds like the opposite of what stimming is. It is done to lower "RPM", so to speak. I think self soothing is more appropriate.
I do stim, but I don’t tend to rock, I tap my foot and I usually chew on my necklace. I hate making eye contact. I haven’t flapped since I was a child. I definitely deal with the anxiety when I’m out and around people. I do zone quite a bit and have great difficulty following conversations, but I do have ADHD to.
Zone out, zone in. My thought just then was - the NTs calling out our zoning out. To us it’s an IN for the win lol Also, my hand flapping is 😊 but idk that it looks like your demo. . I guess there are probably a variety!
I rock or sway when standing and snap a lot mostlyonmyleft hand. I hate eye-contact and anxiety at 11 lol my go to stimis hair twirling. Hyperfocus is my special power.
Strange, stiff gait Insomnia Clumsiness Smile often looks like a grimace Slurred speak Extreme temper tantrums for the slightest things Ability to tolerate pain, cold and heat - or quite the opposite Very pale skin tone Digestion problems
Remember they're not temper tantrums, they're meltdowns. Temper tantrums are a way people try to get what they want. Meltdowns are how many autistic people react to being over stimulated and are impossible to control
The only one I don’t have is hand flapping, but I have other stims instead. People don’t notice I am on the spectrum until I tell them, then they say ‘oh yes now it makes sense’. They see because they know what to look for
LMAO as you were talking about zoning out I got a message and stopped listening to what you were saying until I looked back. Oh, and I was wearing headphones, too, haha..
Tip: if eye contact is too difficult, make eye-mouth contact (that sounds weird). In my LD class (years ago) where the teacher always corrected kids who failed to make eye contact, she never once called me out or corrected me for watching the mouth instead of the eyes. I've always watched mouths because it's easier to understand someone when I'm not quite sure what they're saying. For instance, when - as a kid - asking, my mom if I could have cookies, did she say, "no" or "go"? "Go", to her, means, "You can take a couple, but then leave me alone". 🙂
im in my 50s when I found out about my autism (also adhd and ocd - all my life) I do finger manipulation (looks like a hand dance), I sing to myself and for some reason I remember my spanish from high school. Also I am still learning to deal with people yelling I just flee.
Does anyone else get the tingly sense in the back of their head and just shake their knecj and hands at the same time. I didn't realize I was doing that until may when I got diagnosed.
Im not always as self aware and tend to focus in a lot that I don’t always know what I’m thinking or doing. Is avoiding internal thoughts or internal dialog a problem for anyone else? Did I explain that properly?
I hope I can get rediagnoses because my stepdad stole my SSD check. People been putting far too many roadblocks in my way about additional employment and place to live.
Hi, my name is Emma Theron and I am on the Autism Spectrum. I am 9 years old. Thank you so much for making these videos.
I've never been diagnosed, but I've thought I might have autism for awhile. My former psychiatrist said (I'm paraphrasing,) that I'm not "weird" enough to be autistic. My new psychiatrist, in my first session, asked me if I had a family history of autism. I used to rock, I don't anymore, but I fiddle with my fingers a lot. I also jump my leg up and down. I had visual therapy as a child, and they had to teach me to make eye contact. I can do it for a short period of time, but I have to look away every few seconds.
@PRISTINE JOEL Giving people false hope that an incurable condition has a cure is a disgustibg lie. Trying to mke money from vulnerable people who are desperate is a very low trick & you have very bad norals. You should be ashamed of yourself, or if you are a bot whoever programmed you should feel ashamed & guilty.
In my family (several of us diagnosed), we "tippy toe" walk, too. I just decided to call it "happy toes" after I heared you say "happy hands"! Thanks Dan!
Tippy toes here as well up until my older teen years. One of my autistic girls tippy toes as well and will flap or wave her hands when she becomes agitated.
I can’t do that because not only do I have autism but I also have bilateral club foot. I’ve had to have my feet completely reconstructed and I don’t think I will ever get to stand on my top toes. It’s a miracle I can even walk at all.
I'm 57 and to this day I walk on my toes if I am barefoot; also, as for eye contact, one can be on the opposite end of the spectrum-I get accused of staring at people all the time when I'm conversing with them-it's my way of focusing on them, but i've been told i'm too intense
I used to walk with my wrists up, head down
We call it twinkle toes lol
In the southern US states, eye contact is a sign of respect similar to using “sir” and “maam” or holding the door open. Ironically, i feel that makes it easier for me to have eye contact now because it was instilled at a really young age, but it was a lot of work to learn it, more so than my friends.
In some Australian Aboriginal cultures, looking an older person in the eye is considered insolent.
If I don’t look at certain individuals as I pass them, I feel like I’m going to be seen as dismissive or rude so I intentionally make eye contact to show they are seen even if it’s something I’m not comfortable with. I’d prefer not to make eye contact but I’m afraid I will be misinterpreted.
@@LearnRunes Same with the traditional American natives.
@@LearnRunes as well as in some Asian cultures
Like the other comments mention, eye contact is highly cultural. Among most mammals, eye contact signals aggression. Even in cultures that prioritize a certain amount of eye contact, if you do it too long or with the wrong person, then it is considered aggressive. If you do it with too much enthusiasm, it is considered creepy. Not enough eye contact can be interpreted as fearfulness, which can attract bullies. In many parts of American culture, it's considered disrespectful to completely avoid eye contact. I have practiced for years to make the right amount of eye contact when I'm walking past people on the street, because it's different in different neighborhoods and with different people. But I don't want to offend anyone. I also don't want to be targeted by bullies. 🙄
I can often tell if someone is autistic just by looking at them. I have been in a conversations with people and thought they were on the spectrum and then they have told that they have ASD. . I have autism and after studying it in depth and doing self analysis you can see your behaviors and mannerisms in other people. When you are on the spectrum you tend to attract other people who are t and you gravitate to activities where these people are. Poor posture is also common with people on the spectrum
neurological damage causes torticollis from childhood vaxx
feel 98pc sure
God speed anyway
I'm sure there are many people you miss too though.
I don't mean to step on your toes. I'm autistic and I believe one of my sensitivities is empathy. I really don't like people telling me I miss read something that is obviously there...
I'm not saying that you're miss reading, but I used to mask a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if you missed it in me for instance since many people saw me as extroverted. Not saying autistic people aren't but I am not. I left a lot of my struggles to myself. I guess we're not generic despite our labels, so I'm sure there are individuals you miss. Not trying to be offensive.
@PRISTINE JOEL this really isn't the place to be pushing pseudoscience and trying to "cure" autistic people
Please slow done talk slower
@@marcusrosales3344 I never said I can always tell but I said I can often. This is not me being arrogant but I have spent a lot of time studying how autism manifests in people and how it effects me and others. I have spent a long time observing people and I have gone to many therapists. When you get to a certain point in your life you get better as seeing patterns.
Eye contact is highly overrated. I used to force it. Never got comfortable with it. Now I tend to avoid it.
I got really good at eye contact by seeing it as a game but it takes so much energy. So when I don’t have the energy I will avoid eye contact and if I’m in a bad mood I’ll stare people down. 😂
I remember one office visit with my doctor before I fully understood my symptoms or much about my diagnosis and I recall being all paranoid trying to force myself to look at him..in my mind I was thinking "OH MY GOD IS THIS TOO MUCH?" i felt like a freak trying to make myself look in his eyes but I was also thinking " OH MY GOD IF I LOOK AWAY HE WILL THINK IM A LIAR". it was super stressful .. funny 🤣 now as I think back about it but that's how it goes and why I come up with a quote "IT AINT FUNNY YET".
@@cindyannsavage7515 Same for me, I remember counting how long I was making eye contact, taking a pause, making eye contact again, forgetting to count, and freaking out that I’d stared too long. 😂
I’ve improved since then but it’s still funny to look back on. I say something similar but mine is, “It’ll be funny in a minute.” Because I’ve also noticed I’ll laugh about embarrassing situations and find them genuinely funny, sometimes as soon as a couple minutes after.
@@cindyannsavage7515 I like that quote! You coined a phrase ! 🙌❤️
I’ve always watched the person’s mouth. After a few decades of this I read lips really well now. Strange skill but I have it
I'm 46 and I still flap my hands. This was one of my big "aha, I'm autistic" moments: I realized that every night, when the last of my kids was in bed, I'd wave my arms, squeal and get the urge to jump. I have an autistic son who flaps all the time when he's excited. One day, those things just came together in my mind. "Oh my gosh, I flap my hands like Calvin." Now that I know about the stim, I've been indulging it more and I've stopped hiding it so much. It's very freeing 😊
How old is your son? Mine as well he do I don't like it
@@Emanu2018 He's nine.
@@sueannevangalen5186 still flapping at 9? Ohhh
@@Emanu2018 I can remember a time when I was upset to think he would still be doing it into adulthood but then I got over my internalized ableism 😊
@@Emanu2018 my mom is the same way she doesn't like when I do my flapping
Something im pretty sure people on the spectrum have is that they dont like just going places without a plan. Being taken to places out of nowhere sends me in a panic cause it wasnt planned and i may not have any interest in the place and may make me zone out/be non-interactive which upsets my friends or annoy them as they may think im ignoring them
Ha ha.. I'm the opposite. I hate plans because they don't allow me the breadth to zone out, get distracted, or to discover as I go. I like only the most general 8f plans because my brain may decide to glitch out or get hyperfocused.
Same!!! I need a plan in advance and several back up plans just incase the original plan goes wrong
I can identify with this too
I'm struggling with that now and trying to learn about how to deal with it
That reminds me the one time I was traveling with a group of friends, my (ex) boyfriend, and his mother. We went to comic-con and his mother and his friends wanted to see a panel neither me or my (ex) boyfriend wanted to see. We weren’t allowed to skip, so we were forced to watch. I told them I didn’t know anything about this panel and I knew I was going to hate it.
I was right. I hated it. I didn’t understand a single joke or anything they were talking about. Then the group got mad at ME because I showed that I didn’t like it and didn’t want to be there and that I hated it (like I thought I would). Apparently I was supposed to pretend to like something I didn’t maybe? I still don’t really know what I did wrong
Love your videos and insight. I have Aspergers and ADHD and my son does too and we typically function ok, for being on the spectrum but I recently lost my mom unexpectedly and both myself and my son began stimming constantly, we are both rockers and instead of hand flapping I snap my fingers and he touches each finger with his thumb from the first finger to the pinky one down and back up on both hands. Now with all the things extra stimming trying to deal with my loss, I realized that when I am talking to someone I will repeatedly squeeze my eyes shut. Just thought I’d share it with you and this video was great!
Anxiety and zoning out is still an issue but the other symptoms I learned to deal with when needed, I’m a public person. It is easier when it has a purpose. ❤️
I was diagnosed with ADD with autistic traits back in 2016, though I am currently looking into getting re-evaluated for autism and I had no idea that "zoning in" could be a sign of someone being autistic! I used to do it aaall the time, right up until I started taking antidepressants for my depression and social anxiety back in 2014, at 21 years old. Thank you so much for spreading the knowledge about autism, it's incredibly helpful to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.
My son is 15, just did diagnosis recently, took me 15 years to find out he is ASD and asperger. Thank you so much for the sharing! ❤
It has just been recently brought up that my 16 y.o. son demonstrates Aspergers. I have struggled with him for years on and off until recently when someone said i should look into autism. Im glad i found your page. We are currently waiting on testing for him. Thank you. Your videos have been amazing for me to watch and get a better understanding of his behaviors.
Read "Look Me in the Eye" by: John Elder Robinson.
I’m not a hand flapper or a large movement soother. I may sway back and forth sometimes. I grind my teeth and have had to get fillings in my front bottom teeth because of it. I tend to pick at my face, scratch at my skin and have trained myself to meet eyes as needed though it makes my anxiety skyrocket. I’m social but get massive social anxiety. I was so “tuned in” as a child that my mother would touch me to get my attention and She got my hearing tested as well. As I mentioned before on this channel, 3/4 of my girls have been diagnosed this year with ADHD/Autism spectrum. Now it’s my turn. How do women fly under the radar for so long?! How did I not see my own behaviors? So I guess I was just odd or different. How many more undiagnosed people are out there?
Males are more wired for the linear thinking.
Females have a genetic balance to the spectrum.
I didn’t get diagnosed until 52!! But got diagnosed with ADHD at 28
@@GenTikki I just turned 52 and waiting on the results of my evaluations.
I don’t shake my hands unless they are numb.
I use my thumb to count each finger on my hand.
Pointer is 1 , middle is 2, ring is 3,
Pinky is 4. Thumb is the leader of the count until # 5.. pinky counts Thumb..
This is my calming, thinking, stimming, savior.
Good or bad, it grounds me and im thankful.
Dan, it's so cool to come across someone else who also has Autism ADHD, OCD, and Dyslexia. Plus, I have Treatment-Resistant Depression. And I've been 23 years clean and sober. I feel a little less alone and terminally unique.
Your videos help me understand my 14 year old so who’s been misdiagnosed. You are so open about sharing your experiences and I see many traits in my son. Thank YOU!
My 20 year old son wears headphones everywhere to tune out overwhelming external stimuli.
My kids do that too
I have all of those apart from the issue with eye contact. I mimic however much eye contact each person makes. I have this weird thing where I don't like giving someone a title, so I work in customer service and rely on eye contact to let someone know I am talking to them because I don't like saying Ma'am or Sir and I don't like calling people by their names. The other one I do is noise. I make my own noise, click my fingers. I sing and hum to myself which was more noticeable when I worked in a shop that didn't play music.
Thanks. Even though I’m diagnosed, this is helpful for self-knowledge. Can you make a video about living with both ADHD and Autism? I’ve found with me they are strangely complimentary though each has its drawbacks obviously. Haven’t been able to find much on the internet.
Please this! I have both as well and would find this so so helpful. I know it’s not your responsibility, but the amount I learn from your videos have helped me communicate myself better to others. I’d be forever grateful if you talked about having both!
Yes please!
Yes I agree wholeheartedly 🙏🏼 need this from a real person view
I’m sure Dan will make a great video on this topic, but for now Purple Ella has a video about this already that you can see now.
What would you say are your main struggles having ADHD and autism?
Great video. My son is 8 and other than being able to make eye contact during a conversation, he has every one of these characteristics. I think they are wonderful
and explain to people who don't know him, who he is right away.
Although I’m not autistic, your channel has helped me tremendously in identifying and knowing how to deal with people in my type of work
My boyfriend drums his fingers (like a percussionist) on nearly every hard surface he can. I believe it’s his more socially “acceptable” version of stimming. I love it.
Really appreciate your work! Didn't know about my Asperger or ADD brain until my 40s so everything helps (well, almost!) Thanks for keeping up good quality information and presentation.
❤️❤️Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).
I know exactly what you mean. I was in my mid thirties and only found out when my youngest son was diagnosed with Aspergers.
I couldn't imagine living that long without an answer. 👁️👄👁️
@@elenamenendezgonalez9881, thank you for your compassion. Honestly, for most of that time, there was no related question in my mind. I was absolutely convinced that, despite my best efforts at personal/character growth, I was simply a very unfeeling (cold), unfeminine, clueless, scatter-brained, failure of a person who deserved whatever befell me in the social or interpersonal spheres. That included rejection, abandonment, ridicule, job loss, disrespect, etc. This situation is only part of the reason why channels like this one serve such an important purpose.
@@SpiritualJourneyMD I'm sorry you had to feel like that. You seem very strong.
i also noticed a lot of autistic folk do the 'dinosaur hands' which was honestly my first clue to starting to guess whether i'm on a spectrum or not %)) it's not a universal sign ofc but i don't think neurotypicals do it that much
I love how you explain the behaviors in such a positive way! Thank you for doing what you do!
It's so funny how you mention being tested for deafness that happened to me when I was a child because I too did not respond to people-like my family, when they spoke to me.
I got my son tested for deafness, he was diagnosed with ADHD.
Great video! I have a grandson who will be 2 years old next month, and he is on the spectrum but not yet diagnosed. I figured it out last November when I had him for 10 days straight. I have been reading and learning about autism since then, and look forward to more of your insight!
Your grandson is blessed with your being so keen to learn about his condition.
If he is a speaker, guide him to express himself successfully. By that I mean,
> we may not always know what to say. There are what I would almost describe as rote phrases for a lot of situations. Knowing these (and why we use them) is very helpful.
> Sometimes just being able to say, "I'm ({autistic-- some people prefer to say neurodiverse}--but that's presuming that he does end up with an ASD diagnosis; if not, you'll have to work out how to say it...) and I don't always understand. Do you mean {fill in the blank}?" helps to smoothly navigate public situations.
> Sometimes nothing he can say is going to help other people behave correctly. If you can encourage him to accept it without thinking it reflects on who he is, you'll be giving him an immense gift. This is important regardless of how well he manages to communicate.
> One more thing: while there are a lot of situations in which he's going to find it necessary to behave in ways other people dictate, help him learn to trust his own judgment and have confidence in his uniqueness. If you can do that AND keep him from overestimating the trustworthiness of others (but without becoming jaded) we will be putting you in for an award.
With eye contact it's important to note that in some cultures eye contact is seen as rude or offensive so are taught from a young age to avoid eye contact. So with eye contact it will depend on their culture and because cultural differences are never mentioned people can easily get confused as to whether they may be Autistic or not or may think that autism is only a western thing. All videos I have seen about autism signs mention lack of eye contact but they are not culturally diverse. I myself thought it was a major sign until I did the Open University course on Understanding Autism and then my own research to back that up.
Yes. In the Korean kingdoms of the Joseon Dynasty, commoners had to look down when addressed by someone of noble birth. Failing to do so could result in a beating or worse. And no one could look in the eyes of the king without permission. Failing to do so could get you executed. Of course none of this was black and white, but if you didn’t want to suffer dire consequences, you better not.
I had stimming bludgeoned out of me by means of criticism, mocking and bullying. I think food, smoking, drinking and exercise/danger addiction become an issue because they're a more socially acceptable forms of self-stimulating.
Apt
Thank you for posting this. My daughter is neuro-atypical, and hearing this information helps me to understander her challenges better.
U can get 2 much eye contact also
Hey man! I just wanna say thanks. I got referred to a neuropsychiatry today for autism, ADHD, OCD, and Tourrettes syndrome. (Almost the same as you, haha)
After watching your video on stimming and then some other videos from Purple Bella, Adam Wonders, and Aspergers from the inside I decided there are just too many commonalities. Even in your overall demeanor when you speak, I almost see part of myself. That probably sounds weird, but its true.
I've never seen a mental health professional before. I had a pretty traumatic childhood so I've never had the chance nor the bravery to go see someone. I've never been evaluated for anything. Today was the first time I saw a therapist of any sort. I've got you to thank for that....so thanks!
You can do this! It’s hard but so helpful to know it’s not just all in your head, so to speak. Don’t let them say it’s just PTSD. I’m dealing with a situation where my traumatic childhood was overshadowing my testing. Of course both cause PTSD due to your difficulties and differences but research your past behavior from family and friends if you can. I’m not always able to explain what I’m thinking and preparing notes sounds like school but it has been helping me.
I'm so happy for you, I hope you will get your answers soon.
Congratulations on moving 👏🏻 yourself forward it takes a lot to dig deep into ourselves. Me included.
Awesome content as usual! I would also like to hear more about the Autism/ADD side. My son has both & is extremely hyper, talks all the time & does not focus in well on tasks.
Me too. I just realized my son isn't making eye contact when he meets people. He stims and he is obsessed with his beyblades - it is the only toy he plays with. But he is diagnosed with ADHD alone. I'm wondering if there is autism there too.
the way i checked all the signs exactly as they were described and the explanation for them was accurate for me too..
often, on the zoning out, I'm watching what's going on inside my own head, as I tend to think chiefly in sense-images, and I can become Very unaware of the physical world. This happens to my son as well (he's 3), and he'll go from engaging the world or conversation, and then he goes thousand-yard stare and it's obvious he's watching things happen in his head- sometimes he narrates what he's looking at, which is interesting.
This happens to me too. He may be experiencing maladaptive daydreaming, which is sometimes comorbid with autism
Everything gets turned into pictures in my head and the pictures become movies. All that translating takes time and slows me down with processing information. I can’t sit with a group of people especially chatty ones and keep up. By the time I have something to say they all moved on 20 minutes ago and look at me confused
Well half of those are me, rocking side to side, zoning in/ out and eye contact (though I was forced train to maintain eye contact, which then ends in me zoning out because I'm focusing on the persons eyes so much)
Interesting. I am not on the autism spectrum, and have all but the hand flapping. Dissociative identity disorder and cptsd. "Zoning out" being a "Dissociative state". "Stimming" or "grounding". Anxiety speaks for itself. Eye contact depending on the trauma survivor.
I don't state all this to belittle your list. I find it interesting. Thank you for sharing.
Maybe a second opinion would serve you well 🤷♀️❤️🙏
Hi, I did a lot of research on autism and a loooooot of test. I reached a score even higher than the median for autistic people in most of the test groups was. I have PTSD wich makes diagnosing any Neurodivergency quite hard since many symptoms align. I'm currently trying to get the help of an expert. Eventhough I have looked at the symptoms of autism that are not included in PTSD and seen that they broadly fit I'm unsure. I don't know if I'm just lying to my self while answering questions. Throughout my life people have made comments on my behaviour (concerning autism) manly because of my attention to detail and selective mutism. But my parents told me that when I was very little I would smile at everyone. I also have an imaginary world that is much larger and ever more explored than the outside. But what I noticed in myself since doing research on autism is that I have been able not to always be the mirror of the person I'm talking to. I allow myself to stim. I have also told some of family members about why I sometimes wont show emotions, since they have been really disappointed in me because of that in the past. There are many more examples of how tactics manly used with autism have helped me, but I can't write all of them down because I have exams tomorrow and a lot of work to do. What I was trying to say was that even if it isn't autism I still feel better about myself.
I'm sorry if I made any mistakes, I'm still learning English at school. Have a beautiful life
Yeh, I got into trouble at school for not hearing my group being called while I was reading, cos when I read, I genuinely don’t hear what’s going on around me. Literally publicly shamed by teachers for not listening, as if I wanted to be told off.
One thing you will discover early on is that "experts" who are not on the spectrum will get things wrong.
I don't know of one person who has had a bout of selective mutism who is not on the spectrum. Autistic people are very imaginative; we do make eye contact; we have intense empathy, but often can't express it.
If you can find a degreed expert on autism who is autistic, cling to them (figuratively.)
Your English is very good. I didn't notice you speak English as a second language.
@@MelissaThompson432 thank you and also thank u for ur advise
Your English is possibly better than mine and I was born in England 😄
I have C-PTSD from teenage trauma and began clearing that several years ago. Then in November last year took the autism test and the penny dropped. I have also been slightly confused as to whether I am making my autism up, but every time I watch one of the people I follow, I can identify with every person who has commented below. They can have very similar traits, but I can recall always being rather naive socially, very introverted, unable to fit in, different and quirky. And it was only when I thought more about eye contact that I realised how hard I found it throughout my life. All we can do is understand ourselves the best we can and find solutions to whatever problems we face - and create appropriate boundaries. I have been reluctant to seek a formal diagnosis as I don't want to put myself through being analysed and judged all over again. I am not sure they would come to a clean conclusion (or maybe they would) but given I am finding so much community in these groups (much more than any focused on PTSD) I am happy with my own conclusion for now.
Wishing you a beautiful day (every day) xx
I loved the bit about zoning out, actually being zoning in, I do it all the time!
Who do you talk to for help? I was diagnosed during the quarantine and it feels like there is absolutely nobody out there to talk to about this.
There's loads of support for autistic people on that area of Reddit.
Thanks!
I would also say one would be flinching from sharp or loud noises. I am Dyslexic, autistic and I have an audio processing disorder. I know a lot of fellow aspies have issues with noise and have some sort of audio processing disorder.
I have found great success with wearing mute earbuds Loop's are the best brand. It allows you to have a conversation but minimises all the burn out and sensory overload you would get in say a crowded restaurant.
Another one would be surrounding yourself by soft stuff. I have sought out the softest jumpers, plushies, blankets etc my whole life. It's honestly the most soothing thing I have found and at times of great stress or if I am trying to concentrate I need to be petting something soft and fuzzy. I can't sleep properly without cuddling something soft.
It's probably one of the most comforting stims I have and I feel stressed without having at least a small plushie in my bag or neat me.
I find people get mad at me when I'm focused on something important, since I have to "turn off" my hearing because it is too big a distraction. In elementary school I would stare out the window and rock in my chair, I was so overwhelmed by the florescent lights humming, the chaos of thirty kids being rambunctious, and a teacher demanding my attention. I have been obsessed with rocking chairs since i was a toddler. I'm sitting in one right now😁 I have a hard time getting my brain to stay on task, I liken it to trying to lead a stallion with dental floss tied to it's halter😅
I don't rock or flap, but eye contact is really something I struggle with. Sometimes it's ok, but 90% of the time, I simply don't know what to do, like sometimes for the first 10 seconds it'll be ok then something switches and it's like looking into the full beam of car headlights. Then sometimes I'll freak someone out by being way too full on with excessive eye contact, but I feel like I'm freezing up on the inside, to the point where I can't comprehend what they're saying. Uugg. My cat, however, completely accepts me. Which makes the world ok.
Cats accept me too. I believe purring is stimming, so I'm pretty sure they get us. 😸
Cats get me. There’s mutual respect. So what they do when they are around my husband and me is give me the “I see you” and go straight for my husband because they can sense he is allergic to them. The fiends! 😂
All of that really resonated with me- I’m glad my family has finally agreed to letting me get an assessment and diagnosis. That last part especially hit hard because hyper focus of lack thereof is often associated with adhd or add, which is what I have been treated for since I was in 4th grade. It’s just really good to know that if I’m really into something that it’s typical behavior for someone on the spectrum to only hone in on what they’re interested in at that very moment. It happens to me a lot and several people in my family just think that I’m ignoring/avoiding/hating them. Thanks for these tips. I really feel more validated about the reevaluation of my neurological tendencies.
Not only do I rock back and forth in order to fall asleep, I also rock sideways if I am standing and am not immediately engaged in doing something, like waiting for a customer to come to my till or waiting for the bus. I used to try to hide it, but I figure I have been doing it for 52 years, why keep hiding it. 😁
I rock all the time. Sitting I rock, standing I sway and I always wiggle my toes when I’m trying to hide stims. I can’t sleep at night or relax unless I kind of wiggle my feet and toes against the mattress. I’ve done that since I can remember being 3 years old and now 61 still stimming.
I get away with my "hand flap" as a kid and now. I was a elite gymnast and now a rock climber so people think im just "pumped" and shaking the lactic acid out of my arms haha
Zoning in. It makes so much sense now
I do the rocking, have anxiety, don't like looking people in the eye for too long, and the hyper-focus? Oh, yes. My husband knows when he comes into the room and I am focused on something (usually on the laptop) and he asks me something, I will look up after maybe a minute, and he gets the blank stare, because my brain is not fully there. "Ok, I'll come back and ask you later." He's been so great as I have been researching autism (self-diagnosed since age 60, a year ago). It has helped us understand each other better, and me, for sure, why certain aspects of daily life are so damn difficult. I am finding now that I have far less patience and am getting better at establishing boundaries (was not allowed to, as a child). I think what is happening is that I get tired far more easily as I get older. I simply do not have the energy to mask; to "perform", and I no longer give a damn about what people think of me. I am learning to, finally, be authentically ME, and it feels.... WONDERFUL. Thank you, Dan, as always, for an awesome video! Keep up the great work! Much love from the US.
Eye contact.... apparently i make tooo much eye contact. Like with most traits... we do stuff or too much or too little.. moderation ? What is that haha.
Love your stuff. Thanks
Another couple signs can be toe walking (walking on tip toes or with heels off the ground), having a more flat/neutral facial expression…another one that came to mind was having a flat tone of voice, or saying things very bluntly. I’m sure there are more, right?! This was a great video 👍
When you say "zoning out," it makes me think of the blank, unfocused, emotionless look a lot of us default to even when we're paying close attention. Because we tend not to think about our faces unless we're made to think about them, we get called on being bored, or angry, or snobbish, when we're not.
Also, and most of us are more invested in controlling this, there is what I call the "baby duck" walk. It involves toe walking, what I have also heard described as "T rex arms" (bent at the elbow, with the hands dangling, like tucked wings) and a bit of leading with the chin and the chest. But, again, we tend to be conscious of it, and you will rarely see it as a whole, or even some aspects, unless the person is excited about something, in which case, it seems to come out more as toe walking. There is sometimes a tendency to stand or sit with the head tilted to one side, a quizzical look.
I may be fooling myself, but I think there is an ASD "vibe."
Love your video's. Would you consider doing a poll video or something similar asking the blood factor (Rhesus Negative or Rhesus Positive) that have Autism/Aspergers ? I would also like to know if one or more of their parents are of the Rh Negative blood factor. This means they lack the D antigen. The Rh Negative is very rare, and I am very interested in this question for comparison. Thank you for your time and consideration of my query.
Is this a re-upload?
Could swear I've seen this before.
Great job!!!
Ow right, the autisme card that people can carry with them to hand over in an emergency..you got any idea if these are available in other languages? I haven't been able to find them in Dutch so far.
👍🏻Greetings from Netherland✌🏻
There are Dutch ones. In the Netherlands there's the Autipas from the NVA, and there's a card from Hidden Disabilities (they have a Dutch store). Autipas requires a copy of the diagnosis of one's autism, while Hidden Disabilities is without such a requirement :)
@@lillynatal., awesome..thank you!!
Always loved your videos Dan. You are one of my inspiration. Glad we have somebody like you representing and showing not only the truth, but that there is far more to who we are.
After being shunned by my own family after my diagnosis (late in life) I found your channel. Just wanted to say thank you.
My husband was recently diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I have observed the following traits in him. Some are physical, some are behavioral.
- over flexable joints
- staring/variable blinking rate
- flat feet
- exaggerated sloping of shoulders
- rubbing bald spots in his head
- food texture and taste avoidance by opening mouth very wide when placing in mouth
- OCD
- stimming
- reluctance to change
- lying for personal gain
- lying for no personal gain
- masking/parroting
- hiding large debt/ not owning up to it/not asking for help
-tantrums/meltdowns
- running away
- physically assaulting people who confront their bad behavior
- procrastination and/or avoidance
- blaming their bad behavior on others
Some of these traits showed up in the past 3 to 4 years. Some of the more subtle ones were always there. It has been stressful to have this diagnosis made when he is 52. Physical tests have ruled out early dementia.
Meet every physical criteria but am not dianosed or believed when I tell people close to me what I'm dealing with...how? What's worse is that it's hereditary so someone is denying their own traits. What's even worse is the likelihood of it coming from both sides which would help explain the difference in severity and obviousness. What's more, I think the condition worsens with time if there's no intervention or treatment. That's what makes sense to me with my experience.
I think you're scaring yourself too much. For one thing, although autism can be hereditary, it isn't always. A child of two neurotypical parents could have very low functioning autism for seemingly no reason. Also, autism usually doesn't need treatment. Therapy and support groups help, but going without won't make the autism worse and you'll eventually learn to live with it on your own.
Autism isn't a death sentence, it's a different way to live
Focusing on something...When I was a kid, my mom once got furious at me for admiring the font on a "Sunset" pencil while she was helping me with my math homework. That kind of thing happened a lot. I still appreciate nice fonts.
Thank for this and all your other awesome videos 🙏 Another visible sign is an autistic person often wear the same cloth every day/have few changes in the way they dress.
Dude… You mentioned hand flapping and I was like "OMG, I do that, too" and then I noticed myself doing it, which made me laugh, which made me happy…
Thank you
I amnot diagnosed but I recognise myself in many of these signs. I crack my joints in a specific way - starting with every joint in my hands, my wrists, my back, my neck, my ankles and finally my toes - so soothing but disturbs many people around me especially in an office setting haha! I now realise this is stimming. Also struggle with maintaining eye contact to the point that I'm sometimes concentrating on maintaining the eye contact that I forget to listen to what the person is saying. I don't have a rigid routine except a daily weed smoking addiction after work - its my comfort bubble where I can shut out the world and indulge in historical/political/geographical/nature documentaries.
i do/have all of these signs. im currently in the process of seeking a diagnosis its nerve wrecking lol
I am also seeking diagnosis/waiting on my assessment. It is nerve wracking. I had a TERRIBLE time even finding a psychologist in my community who even wanted to do this for me. I talked to at least four who didn't at all seem open to the possibility that I could be autistic. The vast majority of diagnosis services are for kids and teens.
Hello Dan, I am new to the channel and currently I am trying to gain courage to tell my mon I want to be diagnosed for Asperger. Just one question, is it nromal for people on the spectrum to have maladaptive daydreaming? I love to daydream for hours while listenning to music and going in circles, creating social interactions or ranking things inside my head. Greetings
I heard that especially in woman and non-binary people daydreaming can be very common. It seems to help many cope with the social stress and to figure out communication.
My daughter has been walking circles every day since she started walking at 1 1/2. Definitely gets in get exercise everyday :)
Thanks Dan, all ur videos are so helpful ✌️
Ok but I also wasn't treated for hearing loss bc my family always just said "oh you just have selective hearing"
Are these common for ADHD too? I have ADHD but suspect I may also have some Autism but I am not sure and have not been diagnosed, I do all of these o:
I FEEL FRUSTRATED because my husband doesn’t even want to acknowledge that I’m autistic
Coincidentally, I once considered having a child with Autism get hearing screening when he started Zoning In. But each time I asked him to repeat what I said, he'd heard & memorized every word.
Im 27 years old, when i was a kid i was diagnosed with adhd because i had issues paying attention in class, now that im older i think i am on the spectrum of autism, my son was diagnosed with autism and they were trying to test for aspergers.
Before moving to my place.he use to live with his family,control whole house.no one allowed to sitting room,or kitchen only to cook,all windows are black out day and night.when agitated he hit his head,break things,slam doors hard,go to kitchen eat everything specially Chocolat biscuits,...ect...oh yes he get agitated from dog barking,crying babies,any noise coming from neighbors..even traffic noise...ect hope to hear from you,then I can share more information thanks
the zone in thing is real, i always thought of it as hyper focus.
My teacher thoughted how to keep "eye contact" - you look at the forhead or ear, you just need to be slightly turn xD
My husband's STIM is bottom lip jitters. Sometimes it can look like his lower lip was left in a freezer and he's trying to gain feeling to it .
I definitely need to relearn my former methods of calming myself. Now I just tear up uncontrollably and make lots of grunts and growls to try and make myself stop crying 😢
Stretching/ fidgeting..stimming.
OCD dancing.
Omg..lol! When you said one of the physical signs of autism..I was rocking side to side when you said rocking, then rocking side to side..I stopped and laughed..I also rock a lot..more when I’m angry or anxiety hits. But I am not autistic that I know of, my oldest son is..he’s high functioning. I have bipolar ll disorder, which is hereditary. I’m not sure how my oldest got his autism as there is no one in my family or hubbys family. Either way he is my autistic angel. 😊
But the reference to rocking had me laughing at myself.. ty!
Love your videos really helps me understand my 4.5 Yr old, he has.asd, adhd and spd, and can be very challenging at times but always rewarding 🥰 I'd be really interested to know what you were like as a child?
I was diagnosed with left temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) at age 32, it was 1993.. and less than a year after that I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism ... I also get horrible migraines..since all these are neurological I assume they may be all connected although I can't find any documentation on other cases or some medical info to know for sure...if anyone can offer any knowledge in this area I'd appreciate it.
~Dan..I've been Rocking for long as I can remember ..literally and to music 🎶...~
~👍 Thanks!
,Cindy from Athens, Ga. USA
My mom is convinced I am becoming deaf due to listening to music loud in my ears - she's been saying that since middle school and had me take a test regarding that and my audition was fine. Considering she says the same thing to me dad (who also has adhd, like I likely have) I don't really take her seriously. Guess we'll see next time my audition is tested, but as long as I know, I've been asking people to repeat stuff for years and don't listen to music half as loudly as I used to when I was younger
There are terms that seem to be inverted like zoning in and zoning out. The term self stimulation sounds like the opposite of what stimming is. It is done to lower "RPM", so to speak.
I think self soothing is more appropriate.
I do stim, but I don’t tend to rock, I tap my foot and I usually chew on my necklace. I hate making eye contact. I haven’t flapped since I was a child. I definitely deal with the anxiety when I’m out and around people. I do zone quite a bit and have great difficulty following conversations, but I do have ADHD to.
Zone out, zone in. My thought just then was - the NTs calling out our zoning out. To us it’s an IN for the win lol Also, my hand flapping is 😊 but idk that it looks like your demo. . I guess there are probably a variety!
Thanks, Dan!
Great stuff, thanks Dan
Great info.
Thank you 🙏. Dan.
I rock or sway when standing and snap a lot mostlyonmyleft hand. I hate eye-contact and anxiety at 11 lol my go to stimis hair twirling. Hyperfocus is my special power.
I'm going to be 69 in a couple of months and have only recently begun to suspect that I am autistic. I have four out of five of these traits.
Try the DSM -5 autism quotient test online. It might clarify a bit. I got 49 out of possible 50 and then went for diagnosis. Definitely autistic
@@GenTikki Thanks, yeah I've done the AQ and got 31/50.
Strange, stiff gait
Insomnia
Clumsiness
Smile often looks like a grimace
Slurred speak
Extreme temper tantrums for the slightest things
Ability to tolerate pain, cold and heat - or quite the opposite
Very pale skin tone
Digestion problems
Remember they're not temper tantrums, they're meltdowns. Temper tantrums are a way people try to get what they want. Meltdowns are how many autistic people react to being over stimulated and are impossible to control
@@pikachuisshook5535 True, but especially if there is comorbid ADHD or/and tourettes, there very often will be severe anger issues as well.
All my nieces do the rocking back and forth. I'm still struggling with the last one on the list.
Lovely bass ❤
The only one I don’t have is hand flapping, but I have other stims instead. People don’t notice I am on the spectrum until I tell them, then they say ‘oh yes now it makes sense’. They see because they know what to look for
LMAO as you were talking about zoning out I got a message and stopped listening to what you were saying until I looked back. Oh, and I was wearing headphones, too, haha..
Tip: if eye contact is too difficult, make eye-mouth contact (that sounds weird). In my LD class (years ago) where the teacher always corrected kids who failed to make eye contact, she never once called me out or corrected me for watching the mouth instead of the eyes. I've always watched mouths because it's easier to understand someone when I'm not quite sure what they're saying. For instance, when - as a kid - asking, my mom if I could have cookies, did she say, "no" or "go"? "Go", to her, means, "You can take a couple, but then leave me alone". 🙂
As a person with high functioning autism I can relate with everything except for the rocking
im in my 50s when I found out about my autism (also adhd and ocd - all my life) I do finger manipulation (looks like a hand dance), I sing to myself and for some reason I remember my spanish from high school. Also I am still learning to deal with people yelling I just flee.
Does anyone else get the tingly sense in the back of their head and just shake their knecj and hands at the same time. I didn't realize I was doing that until may when I got diagnosed.
What about autism and facial features? Those studies are very interesting, especially the Western Australian children one...
Im not always as self aware and tend to focus in a lot that I don’t always know what I’m thinking or doing. Is avoiding internal thoughts or internal dialog a problem for anyone else? Did I explain that properly?
I hope I can get rediagnoses because my stepdad stole my SSD check. People been putting far too many roadblocks in my way about additional employment and place to live.