Perhaps he addresses this in the book, but I think a beautiful element of forgiveness and justice is that everything will be made right by God. No one gets away with anything. This gives me the freedom to forgive, knowing it is not a way of giving up on justice.
I would recommend you get the book. There are a lot of nuggets of wisdom within. One woven through the book is found in the chapter titled. "We Heal Ourselves". Of note he says' As we forgive people, we gradually come to see the deeper truth about them, a truth our hate blinds us to.....'For the truth about those who hurt us is that they are weak, needy and fallible human beings...' ( surprise, sounds a lot like us as well)- We can't forget that we are often in the "camp" of needing to be forgiven, as much as needing to forgive others at times.
Hope that isn’t true because if no one gets anyway with anything then we are all in trouble. Jesus paid for my sins on the cross, without that I would not have a chance to make it to heaven. Yes, God will make it right but doesn’t mean he is going to punish someone who you wrongs you. Maybe he will reward you for what you went through.
@@lexifan23 I completely agree that we believers are not punished for our sins, but I do believe all will be made right and whole in the end, whatever that means for each individual case. And, yes, reward figures in there, I imagine. Sometimes we hold on to anger because it feels like letting go would be unjust. I’m just saying that, in the end, there will be no injustice left.
That's AWESOME you did your part ❤️ but I have realized and learned from going through having someone forgive me too that I have to forgive my self from the pain I caused them and move on. To understand that your efforts didn't go to waste because she isn't responding to your apology or how you would "wish or imagined" it to be. We SO wish for others to forgive us right away with ease from our own wrong doings so it can feel and be easier for us to heal and "feel" forgiven but sometimes all we can do is our part, learn to move on, heal, lear from our mistakes and watch our actions.
She may forgive you but then rebuilding trust can take a very long time... if ever. Is that what you're looking for? Your daughter has the right to not trust you. Restoration is a separate issue. If it happens you must have the patience to wait and work to earn her trust or accept the consequence and bless her so that she doesn't become YOUR enemy. It seems like sin provides its own consequences baked in. Even a convicted criminal is still required to do time even though he is remorseful.
Tim ,I enjoyed this lesson on Forgiveness . I think when u forgive someone who has wronged u . you can’t grow as a true Christian until u forgive that person .
@51:42 This is the only part of the forgiveness process I believe Tim Keller left out. It's the question on how to process and deal with the pain and consequence of the hurt that the wronged person has to deal with after a wrong has been committed. It's confusing for that person who wants to forgive if the injury is permanent, or lengthy and pain is still felt. You feel pain because you were injured. It's not just about the injustice. It's about the pain and hurt as well. The person may ask "If it still hurts, does that mean I haven't forgiven?" or "How can I forgive if it still hurts?" What the person needs is healing. My own journey showed me that we have to face the fact of the pain and go to God with it, acknowledge that God is the Healer and that He can help. The perpetrator may have repented and might even wish he/she could make it better but can't. He's only human. God can. God promises He will make everything new. When Paul in Romans 12:19 quotes Deuteronomy 32:35 where God says "vengeance is mine, I will repay", I used to take that to mean that God will get back at the person and punish him for us; that God will "get revenge" for us and make him hurt as much as we were hurt. But then after I was so badly hurt by s/o I loved (over ten years ago now) and it's still hurting today so bad AND I still love that person, I saw that passage differently when I went to God. Now I read that as God also saying, I will heal you, and make it up to you. I will restore what was injured so much that your cup will overflow (Ps 23:5). I will "repay" you for what was taken if you leave vengeance with Me and if you trust Me. When the consequences of sin have cause damage, even permanent damage God can make it up to us if we trust Him, rely on Him in faith and allow Him to HEAL us give us joy and peace. I truly believe that.
Additionally, forgiveness is a principle, not an emotion. So when we decide to forgive in response to the Holy Spirit's prompting, He gives the power, & eventually, the feelings follow.
In case anyone’s interested in praying for our Christian leaders/shepherds: 16 prayer points you can pray for them: 1 You can pray that they will always have a good walk with God (that they will not forget their first love), that God will bless their private Bible reading and prayer life, and that they will have good doctrine. 2 You can pray that they will be full of the Holy Spirit and that you will bless their ministries so that many more people will come to faith in Jesus for God’s glory. 3 You can pray that they will be humble, that they will remember how many Christian leaders in the past have fallen, and that they will have a very healthy fear of the Lord. 4 You can pray that God will protect them and the ministry God has given them from: Pride Love of fame Love of money Desire for the approval of people rather than the approval of God Being worried about offending people Compromising God’s Word Sexual temptation Demonic attacks 5 You can pray for their PHYSICAL HEALTH and that God will heal all their health problems. 6 You can pray for their MENTAL HEALTH. Pastors often have stress and battle discouragement and depression. Pastors can also be hurt by the people they serve or by other Christian leaders - so we can pray that this won’t happen but that if it does that God will heal these wounds and strengthen His servants to forgive each other and that God will restore unity for His Glory. 7 You can pray that God will bless and protect their families. Satan often attacks pastors by attacking their loved ones. So you can pray that their family members will all have a good walk with God, have good doctrine, that God will protect them all from demonic attacks, that God will also bless and protect their physical and mental health, and that God will bless all their family relationships so that there is peace and love in their families. You can pray that God especially blesses and protects all areas and parts of their marriages, so that they will not be tempted to look elsewhere. 8 You can pray that God will bless and protect the finances of the ministries and also the personal finances of God’s servants (especially finances needed for health or medical expenses). 9 You can pray that God blesses and protects the relationships between Christian co-workers in ministries - so that no jealousy or strife or bitterness takes root. That they will all have Christian unity and that their focus will be on God getting all the glory. 10 If it’s an internet ministry you can pray that God helps them to prevent any technical problems or to help them resolve/fix these problems. 11 If it’s a TH-cam ministry you can pray that God will help the videos spread on TH-cam and get many views and that God will use the videos to bring many people to repentance and faith in Jesus. 12 You can pray that God will help Christian leaders be good shepherds of Jesus’ sheep and continue to feed Jesus’ sheep, and that they will be good disciple makers. 13 You can pray that God will give them the heart of a servant. 14 You can pray that God gives them wisdom and helps them make all decisions. 15 You can pray that if they make mistakes or sin that God will grant them humility and repentance and restore them. 16 You can pray that more Christians will pray consistently for their Christian leaders/pastors/shepherds. *********************** You could make a list of pastors/ministries you want to support and pray for them regularly. Jesus said: “ when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will REWARD you.” Matthew 6:6
12 more BIBLICAL prayer points: 1 You can *PRAY* for God to draw more people to Jesus and to grant more people to come to Jesus. Jesus said: "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them" John 6:44 Jesus said: “No one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.” John 6:65 -------------------------- 2 You can *PRAY* that God will REVEAL the reality and truth about Jesus to more people. "Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not REVEALED to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in Heaven." Matthew 16:16-17 "At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and REVEALED them to little children." Matthew 11:25 --------------------------- 3 You can *PRAY* that God will teach more people. Jesus said: "It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him COMES TO ME." John 6:45 -------------------------- 4 You can *PRAY* that God will open more hearts to attend to His message. "The Lord opened her heart to attend to the things being spoken by Paul." Acts 16:14 -------------------------- 5 You can *PRAY* for more laborers. "Then Jesus said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”" Matthew 9:37-38 Jesus said: “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." Luke 10:2 ------------------------- 6 You can *PRAY* that God will use these labourers to OPEN MORE EYES and turn more people from darkness to light. Jesus said: "I send thee (Paul), TO OPEN THEIR EYES, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me." Acts 26:17-18 ------------------------- 7 You can pray that God will grant more people repentance: “in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth” 2 Timothy 2:25 ------------- 8 You can *PRAY* for more opportunities to share the Gospel. "And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains." Colossians 4:3 ------------------------- 9 You can *PRAY* that God will give all Christians the boldness to share the gospel. "Lord... grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness... And when they had prayed... they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness." Acts 4:29-31 ------------------------ 10 You can *PRAY* that God will give us all the right words to say. "Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel," Ephesians 6:19 ------------------------- 11 “pray for us that the word of the Lord will spread rapidly and be glorified” 2 Thessalonians 3:1 ---------- 12 You can *PRAY* that we will have more of God's love in our hearts for the lost so that we will not be afraid to share the Gospel, but that God's love in us will override any fears and make it automatic that we share the gospel in love. If there was a frozen lake, you wouldn't want to go swimming in it. But if a small child fell in, you would automatically dive in to save them. We can pray for love that will cause us to act. ------------------------- "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." Colossians 4:2 Jesus commanded us multiple times throughout Scripture to watch and pray always. The Word of God even tells us what to pray for. Are we going to obey? Jesus said: "If you love me, keep my commands." John 14:15
It’s important to understand that church affiliation and being saved or being a Christian does not always go together. A lot of younger people are not in church but they are still Christians. They don’t want what they grew up with and are sorting out what church s going to look like for them. I think God has grace for that and we should too!
I feel no matter what race, people have experienced those feelings. Still, we listen, empathize, and hear them. Promoting perpetual racism does not accomplish anything. We have all been victims....we need to seek healing and forgiveness, and seek to make fair laws.
Someone knows what is the name of the preaching on gospel in life that Tim Keller speaks about how a life without God is a "sublife"? He compares plants with animals showing that both are alive but not on the same way... I couldn't find it
It is not about them, it is about you and your relationship with God. Forgiveness doesn’t mean trusting or allowing them to continue to hurt you. It is about not fostering hate towards them which is like you drinking poison and expect the other person to get sick.
I think you still can forgive and heal and move on and pray for the best for them and know God will forgive you because you did your part even if that person doesn't want anything to do with you ( I speak from recent experience) There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily take 2 people it would be great if it did but reconciliation NEEDS both party's to be completed.
If they won't talk to you.. send them a text confessing your forgiveness. They will read it, but they may not respond. But they will still witness your confession of forgiveness and it will sit in their mind.
I also want to know this. I have done wrong to my brother, he despises me. He also does not see the changes God is working in my heart and actions, my life. Should I reach out to him? I pray for God to help me see. I catch myself demanding in my thoughts that my brother see his own wrong, i resent his rejection and spite. I ask God 'do i have a part in my brother seeing you better? Following You better? How do i endure this rejection and not reject back?'
Forgiveness does not mean the automatic restoration of a relationship. As someone here has stated, forgiveness takes one, reconciliation takes two. And there can be no reconciliation without repentance. One must do more than apologize (confess). Judas apologized and was still rejected because he refused to repent. Meaning he refused to turn away from his sin and live righteously. Saul apologized to David several times for trying to kill him but David refused to return to the way things were, not because he didn’t forgive him (he did), but because he didn’t trust him. Trust must be earned. An apology is just empty words until it is back up by actions. No one is biblically obligated to restore a relationship with anyone who has sinned against them simply because that person has confessed with tears.
The problem is with your Gospel, you believe the fundamental issue is a person or all persons need forgiveness of their sins, that’s easy enough, bring your bull or goat to the temple. But that’s not the true Gospel, that’s not the mission of Jesus. Jesus came to save His people from their sins, not to forgive them primarily but to deliver them from the power of sin. Your gospel just produces forgiven sinners which sin over and over and injure people. Whereas a person who delivered from the power of sin and filled with the Holy Spirit does not habitually wrong their neighbor nor knowingly violate His Master’s commandments I had to be saved/ delivered from this false Gospel that the goal Is forgiveness, by no means the goal is righteousness. The problem is salvation is conferred upon people without regeneration. People become religious but there is no real change the world still revolves around themselves even in all their programs and social justice facades. If you want social justice give people the true gospel, the gospel Zacheaus received where his actions shown clearly Salvation had come to his house.
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Perhaps he addresses this in the book, but I think a beautiful element of forgiveness and justice is that everything will be made right by God. No one gets away with anything. This gives me the freedom to forgive, knowing it is not a way of giving up on justice.
I would recommend you get the book. There are a lot of nuggets of wisdom within. One woven through the book is found in the chapter titled. "We Heal Ourselves". Of note he says' As we forgive people, we gradually come to see the deeper truth about them, a truth our hate blinds us to.....'For the truth about those who hurt us is that they are weak, needy and fallible human beings...' ( surprise, sounds a lot like us as well)- We can't forget that we are often in the "camp" of needing to be forgiven, as much as needing to forgive others at times.
Hope that isn’t true because if no one gets anyway with anything then we are all in trouble. Jesus paid for my sins on the cross, without that I would not have a chance to make it to heaven. Yes, God will make it right but doesn’t mean he is going to punish someone who you wrongs you. Maybe he will reward you for what you went through.
@@lexifan23 I completely agree that we believers are not punished for our sins, but I do believe all will be made right and whole in the end, whatever that means for each individual case. And, yes, reward figures in there, I imagine. Sometimes we hold on to anger because it feels like letting go would be unjust. I’m just saying that, in the end, there will be no injustice left.
I appreciate Tim saying that it may take some time to forgive. It may not be immediate
I have apologised for everything i did wrong to my daughter.
But there is no response. I keep praying God will soften her heart and forgive.
That's AWESOME you did your part ❤️ but I have realized and learned from going through having someone forgive me too that I have to forgive my self from the pain I caused them and move on. To understand that your efforts didn't go to waste because she isn't responding to your apology or how you would "wish or imagined" it to be. We SO wish for others to forgive us right away with ease from our own wrong doings so it can feel and be easier for us to heal and "feel" forgiven but sometimes all we can do is our part, learn to move on, heal, lear from our mistakes and watch our actions.
She may forgive you but then rebuilding trust can take a very long time... if ever. Is that what you're looking for? Your daughter has the right to not trust you. Restoration is a separate issue. If it happens you must have the patience to wait and work to earn her trust or accept the consequence and bless her so that she doesn't become YOUR enemy. It seems like sin provides its own consequences baked in. Even a convicted criminal is still required to do time even though he is remorseful.
This talk expounds on a very needed, in depth, balance between forgiveness & justice in today's world!
Tim ,I enjoyed this lesson on Forgiveness . I think when u forgive someone who has wronged u . you can’t grow as a true Christian until u forgive that person .
@51:42 This is the only part of the forgiveness process I believe Tim Keller left out. It's the question on how to process and deal with the pain and consequence of the hurt that the wronged person has to deal with after a wrong has been committed. It's confusing for that person who wants to forgive if the injury is permanent, or lengthy and pain is still felt. You feel pain because you were injured. It's not just about the injustice. It's about the pain and hurt as well. The person may ask "If it still hurts, does that mean I haven't forgiven?" or "How can I forgive if it still hurts?" What the person needs is healing. My own journey showed me that we have to face the fact of the pain and go to God with it, acknowledge that God is the Healer and that He can help. The perpetrator may have repented and might even wish he/she could make it better but can't. He's only human. God can. God promises He will make everything new. When Paul in Romans 12:19 quotes Deuteronomy 32:35 where God says "vengeance is mine, I will repay", I used to take that to mean that God will get back at the person and punish him for us; that God will "get revenge" for us and make him hurt as much as we were hurt. But then after I was so badly hurt by s/o I loved (over ten years ago now) and it's still hurting today so bad AND I still love that person, I saw that passage differently when I went to God. Now I read that as God also saying, I will heal you, and make it up to you. I will restore what was injured so much that your cup will overflow (Ps 23:5). I will "repay" you for what was taken if you leave vengeance with Me and if you trust Me. When the consequences of sin have cause damage, even permanent damage God can make it up to us if we trust Him, rely on Him in faith and allow Him to HEAL us give us joy and peace. I truly believe that.
Additionally, forgiveness is a principle, not an emotion. So when we decide to forgive in response to the Holy Spirit's prompting, He gives the power, & eventually, the feelings follow.
I bought the book and started reading. I’m loving it, like all of his sermons, i feel comfort and hope and grace. Thank you!!
Tolerance is not " Mercy". A wonderful exploration of forgiveness can be found in a book from a 1980s theologian, Lewis Smedes. Well worth a read.
Absolutely love this!!!!
so helpful
In your words I see the need for compassion before forgiveness.🌞
In case anyone’s interested in praying for our Christian leaders/shepherds:
16 prayer points you can pray for them:
1
You can pray that they will always have a good walk with God (that they will not forget their first love), that God will bless their private Bible reading and prayer life, and that they will have good doctrine.
2
You can pray that they will be full of the Holy Spirit and that you will bless their ministries so that many more people will come to faith in Jesus for God’s glory.
3
You can pray that they will be humble, that they will remember how many Christian leaders in the past have fallen, and that they will have a very healthy fear of the Lord.
4
You can pray that God will protect them and the ministry God has given them from:
Pride
Love of fame
Love of money
Desire for the approval of people rather than the approval of God
Being worried about offending people
Compromising God’s Word
Sexual temptation
Demonic attacks
5
You can pray for their PHYSICAL HEALTH and that God will heal all their health problems.
6
You can pray for their MENTAL HEALTH. Pastors often have stress and battle discouragement and depression.
Pastors can also be hurt by the people they serve or by other Christian leaders - so we can pray that this won’t happen but that if it does that God will heal these wounds and strengthen His servants to forgive each other and that God will restore unity for His Glory.
7
You can pray that God will bless and protect their families.
Satan often attacks pastors by attacking their loved ones.
So you can pray that their family members will all have a good walk with God, have good doctrine, that God will protect them all from demonic attacks, that God will also bless and protect their physical and mental health, and that God will bless all their family relationships so that there is peace and love in their families.
You can pray that God especially blesses and protects all areas and parts of their marriages, so that they will not be tempted to look elsewhere.
8
You can pray that God will bless and protect the finances of the ministries and also the personal finances of God’s servants (especially finances needed for health or medical expenses).
9
You can pray that God blesses and protects the relationships between Christian co-workers in ministries - so that no jealousy or strife or bitterness takes root. That they will all have Christian unity and that their focus will be on God getting all the glory.
10
If it’s an internet ministry you can pray that God helps them to prevent any technical problems or to help them resolve/fix these problems.
11
If it’s a TH-cam ministry you can pray that God will help the videos spread on TH-cam and get many views and that God will use the videos to bring many people to repentance and faith in Jesus.
12
You can pray that God will help Christian leaders be good shepherds of Jesus’ sheep and continue to feed Jesus’ sheep, and that they will be good disciple makers.
13
You can pray that God will give them the heart of a servant.
14
You can pray that God gives them wisdom and helps them make all decisions.
15
You can pray that if they make mistakes or sin that God will grant them humility and repentance and restore them.
16
You can pray that more Christians will pray consistently for their Christian leaders/pastors/shepherds.
***********************
You could make a list of pastors/ministries you want to support and pray for them regularly.
Jesus said:
“ when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will REWARD you.”
Matthew 6:6
12 more BIBLICAL prayer points:
1
You can *PRAY* for God to draw more people to Jesus and to grant more people to come to Jesus.
Jesus said:
"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them"
John 6:44
Jesus said:
“No one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”
John 6:65
--------------------------
2
You can *PRAY* that God will REVEAL the reality and truth about Jesus to more people.
"Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not REVEALED to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in Heaven."
Matthew 16:16-17
"At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and REVEALED them to little children."
Matthew 11:25
---------------------------
3
You can *PRAY* that God will teach more people.
Jesus said:
"It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’
Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him COMES TO ME."
John 6:45
--------------------------
4
You can *PRAY* that God will open more hearts to attend to His message.
"The Lord opened her heart to attend to the things being spoken by Paul."
Acts 16:14
--------------------------
5
You can *PRAY* for more laborers.
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”"
Matthew 9:37-38
Jesus said:
“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."
Luke 10:2
-------------------------
6
You can *PRAY* that God will use these labourers to OPEN MORE EYES and turn more people from darkness to light.
Jesus said:
"I send thee (Paul), TO OPEN THEIR EYES, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me."
Acts 26:17-18
-------------------------
7
You can pray that God will grant more people repentance:
“in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth”
2 Timothy 2:25
-------------
8
You can *PRAY* for more opportunities to share the Gospel.
"And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains."
Colossians 4:3
-------------------------
9
You can *PRAY* that God will give all Christians the boldness to share the gospel.
"Lord... grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness... And when they had prayed... they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness."
Acts 4:29-31
------------------------
10
You can *PRAY* that God will give us all the right words to say.
"Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,"
Ephesians 6:19
-------------------------
11
“pray for us that the word of the Lord will spread rapidly and be glorified”
2 Thessalonians 3:1
----------
12
You can *PRAY* that we will have more of God's love in our hearts for the lost so that we will not be afraid to share the Gospel, but that God's love in us will override any fears and make it automatic that we share the gospel in love.
If there was a frozen lake, you wouldn't want to go swimming in it.
But if a small child fell in, you would automatically dive in to save them.
We can pray for love that will cause us to act.
-------------------------
"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."
Colossians 4:2
Jesus commanded us multiple times throughout Scripture to watch and pray always.
The Word of God even tells us what to pray for.
Are we going to obey?
Jesus said:
"If you love me, keep my commands."
John 14:15
It’s important to understand that church affiliation and being saved or being a Christian does not always go together. A lot of younger people are not in church but they are still Christians. They don’t want what they grew up with and are sorting out what church s going to look like for them. I think God has grace for that and we should too!
A church is not the same as the Church.
The book you ask: Forgive and Forget, Healing the Hurts we don't Deserve- Lewis Smedes.
I feel no matter what race, people have experienced those feelings. Still, we listen, empathize, and hear them. Promoting perpetual racism does not accomplish anything. We have all been victims....we need to seek healing and forgiveness, and seek to make fair laws.
Someone knows what is the name of the preaching on gospel in life that Tim Keller speaks about how a life without God is a "sublife"? He compares plants with animals showing that both are alive but not on the same way...
I couldn't find it
How do you forgive someone who doesn't acknowledge that they wronged you..
It is not about them, it is about you and your relationship with God. Forgiveness doesn’t mean trusting or allowing them to continue to hurt you. It is about not fostering hate towards them which is like you drinking poison and expect the other person to get sick.
Dear Caroline
Could you please delete the background noise?
I would like to share this and it’s distracting.
What if you know the person wants nothing to do with you?
I have the same problem.
I think you still can forgive and heal and move on and pray for the best for them and know God will forgive you because you did your part even if that person doesn't want anything to do with you ( I speak from recent experience) There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily take 2 people it would be great if it did but reconciliation NEEDS both party's to be completed.
If they won't talk to you.. send them a text confessing your forgiveness. They will read it, but they may not respond. But they will still witness your confession of forgiveness and it will sit in their mind.
I also want to know this. I have done wrong to my brother, he despises me. He also does not see the changes God is working in my heart and actions, my life. Should I reach out to him? I pray for God to help me see. I catch myself demanding in my thoughts that my brother see his own wrong, i resent his rejection and spite. I ask God 'do i have a part in my brother seeing you better? Following You better? How do i endure this rejection and not reject back?'
Forgiveness does not mean the automatic restoration of a relationship. As someone here has stated, forgiveness takes one, reconciliation takes two. And there can be no reconciliation without repentance. One must do more than apologize (confess). Judas apologized and was still rejected because he refused to repent. Meaning he refused to turn away from his sin and live righteously. Saul apologized to David several times for trying to kill him but David refused to return to the way things were, not because he didn’t forgive him (he did), but because he didn’t trust him. Trust must be earned. An apology is just empty words until it is back up by actions. No one is biblically obligated to restore a relationship with anyone who has sinned against them simply because that person has confessed with tears.
Is that her kids in the background? It was distracting.
The problem is with your Gospel, you believe the fundamental issue is a person or all persons need forgiveness of their sins, that’s easy enough, bring your bull or goat to the temple. But that’s not the true Gospel, that’s not the mission of Jesus. Jesus came to save His people from their sins, not to forgive them primarily but to deliver them from the power of sin. Your gospel just produces forgiven sinners which sin over and over and injure people. Whereas a person who delivered from the power of sin and filled with the Holy Spirit does not habitually wrong their neighbor nor knowingly violate His Master’s commandments
I had to be saved/ delivered from this false Gospel that the goal Is forgiveness, by no means the goal is righteousness. The problem is salvation is conferred upon people without regeneration. People become religious but there is no real change the world still revolves around themselves even in all their programs and social justice facades. If you want social justice give people the true gospel, the gospel Zacheaus received where his actions shown clearly Salvation had come to his house.