Thanks Helix for sponsoring! Visit helixsleep.com/minimalmom to get up to $200 off your Helix mattress, plus two free pillows. And here is the Beauty Secrets Video with Diana that we mentioned: th-cam.com/video/a3kKG8U0kPA/w-d-xo.html THANK YOU for watching, we are so grateful!!! - Dawn
I've been following Dawn for almost a year now and chipping away at our house. This past Christmas, my husband wrapped up two big boxes of stuff of his that he had decluttered, and gave them to me as a gift! I thought it was so thoughtful ❤️
My 9yo got me today! I’ve been decluttering a lot. Just starting to get to kids areas. They’ve been hearing me talk about it and watching lots of stuff leave the house. I sent my 9yo to get a thermometer. She came back and asked if the one she found was the right one. I told her I actually prefer the other one because it works better. She was like, soooo why are you keeping this one if you don’t use it?? 😆 You got me little one! The thermometer went in the donate bin right then!
I can attest to this, I’ve been watching your videos for about 8 months now and I have decluttered so much from our home (by myself.) Having your videos on in the background did creep into my husband’s mind, he calls you my “friend” and says things like “de clutter” “the season you’re in.” This past weekend he asked me to help him go through his clothes and remove the things he doesn’t use anymore! We were able to donate so much it was great.
@@ruthhinnenkamp6754 LOL 😅 or how everything we own is "inventory we have to manage." I find myself using the same vocabulary when I'm explaining these things to others 😄
I have asked my son, who has a truck, for a dump run as a gift. Costs him nothing and as we are loading my stuff, he and his father inevitably find things of their own to throw on the truck too. Wins all around. Another way to flip the narrative. I was consolidating 3 junk drawers down to 1. It helped to ask my husband to "help me decide what to keep" rather than what to toss. Sounded so much more positive.
Great idea! I am finding it's all about the wording. If I suggest getting rid of anything, donating or decluttering, I think that instantly makes my husband worried and immediately more protective of his stuff.
Wasn’t until my parents stayed one weekend till they understood why I’ve been decluttering so much. The day after they went home I got a message asking if I would help them. ♥️
This happens every time my parents visit me too. They spend a lot of time talking about “going home & decluttering”, not because I say anything to them, but because they see how nice it is to have clear spaces AND that we have everything we need…we aren’t “making do” with the “minimal” items kept. I think that last part is very important when modeling minimalism…yes, I have significantly fewer items than most, but I have what I need. I have the clothes to dress appropriately for my life, I have the food we like to eat, I have the tools I need in the kitchen, I have items I enjoy for entertainment or relaxing (For example, I like to read so I keep a small stack of books on the shelf. After I read those books, I pass them on and get a new stack.) So my home is tidy with lots of white space (clear counters, some empty drawers/cabinets/closets) but I comfortably have every single thing I need and everything guests need/want when they visit. :) I really think it’s that second part that makes an impression because many people think “minimalism” is “lack.”
Biggest thing I would advise is don't nag, whine or complain. Talk in objective terms like "wow this area looks so nice now! It makes me happy I don't have to pick up all this stuff!" Once your husband sees how happy you are with what you are doing, he will want to continue taking credit for making you happy and get on board.
I laughed so hard when Tom told about your eyelashes 🤣 I started out with the kon Mari book and my husband took a piece of tape and covered the word "joy" with "pain" so that's how decluttering went at first. 🤦🏼♀️😂Now, 4-5 years later he genuinely appreciates how minimal and tidy and peaceful the house is when he comes home. It'll happen. ❤️
My husband too, he's been trying to get me to declutter more for years. It's weird to say, I never realized he was a minimalist until I started watching Dawn. (I don't think he knew it either.) He definitely has Dawn's, "but could we live without it?" approach to stuff.
Dawn and Tom, I love seeing both of you together in videos. You are simply the best couple. Also, thanks for saying that it took Tom a while to get on board with the minimalist lifestyle. My husband died over 25 years ago, and I still can't bring myself to declutter his (our) garage. I just keep adding to the mess instead of clearing out the things that I can't or don't use. If I really think about it, he's probably on board by now ...so it's time to finally get that area under control.
My dad was finally able to let go of my mom’s things last fall. She passed 8 years ago. We talked about it and what did it for him was when we talked about mom wouldn’t want these things just stored here getting old, mildew and going to waste when family, friends and other people could use them.
My husband has been supportive and on board the whole time. But I also play your videos ALL the time while I’m cleaning and he overhears. Often when I’m decluttering and need a push, Dave will chime in and be like, “well The Minimal Mom said…”
Be patient. Don’t say anything. For 3 years I decluttered my and the kids stuff and finally my husband noticed how much calmer our home feels. He has even more than once mentioned it to others! Yeah wow! I was floored! His words, “the house just feels better”. Patience
I moved into a senior apartment complex. Everything is inside. I don’t have to go to another building to do my laundry. I love that. I volunteered to get the tornado/decorations storage room. 4 people volunteered to help me. It has gone so well. We work very well together. I have a vision of how I want the room to look. It’s going so well. The women have worked very hard. My time of decluttering my own home has made me a lot better organizer. Now I know how to get rid of stuff that is no longer in good shape. Thank you so much for all your videos. They have helped me so much. My life is so much better.
I LOVE your shirt and how y’all were color coordinated. Also, the angle of this video is awesome! I feel like I’m right with you in the kitchen having a heart-to-heart. 🥰 Thank you for this inspiring video! So encouraging.
Yes! It felt like we were sitting at her island chatting about ways to help our family members get on board and understand that they have a lot of thoughts and feelings around letting go of things! Great video and so true!! ❤
My hubby pushes back against me decluttering. It is so nice to hear that it took Tom 5 years to come around. I have only been going for about 18 months so that gives me hope.
me too! My husband feels the need to keep everything he's ever touched in case he might need it in the next ten years. Drives me INSANE! Tom's five years gives me hope I might just survive haha
I've found this to be true with my husband too. I'm a minimalist and he was, dare I say it? (A hoarder) lol. He had brought things into our home from decades ago that he schlepped from province to province. I think that once he saw how peaceful and serene our home (outside of his spaces) made him feel the contrast between those spaces motivated him to move to minimalism too (of his own volition). He has purged sooo much stuff in the past few years. He's now telling me I should get rid of stuff at times lol. I think it's awesome because we can now live with a harmonized view of "stuff".
My husband is the most steady, constant man and does not like change! Believe me when I say if you start working on your stuff and he starts seeing the benefits, he will come around! It takes a whole, but it does happen!
Since I was little clutter has given me anxiety. I need space to feel comfortable. So for my first marriage I put a table with drawers next to my husband's favorite chair to hold whatever he wanted. In the master bedroom I gave him an armoire to hold whatever he needed it to hold and I also gave him the garage to do with what he wanted. It worked well and no that's not why we divorced LOL. My second marriage we bought a house with 3 bedrooms. I gave him one of them to use however he wants and pretty much the whole basement for him to do with what he wants. This works well because in both cases it uses the container concept and gave/gives them the freedom to keep what they want without any interference from me. My second husband enjoys keeping little to only necessary inventory now. He recognizes the benefits of my clutter-free ways and has adopted many of my habits without any prodding from me.
It is so refreshing to see the two of you laugh together and it is so lovely that Tom thinks you don't need anything. You two are a breath of spring always! Thanks for allowing us our Tom fix. Hugs from Vancouver, BC
You are absolutely right about not using the word declutter 👍🏼. We use the words “reducing inventory” you so graciously shared with us all Dawn :-) A couple months after the beginning my journey of reducing my inventory my husband saw it and caught the vision! He went out into the garage where his huge double door cabinet of fishing supplies was stored and reduced inventory, organized it, AND continues to do both probably at least once a month realizing how much more stuff he hasn’t used and probably won’t and is willing to pass it along to thrift stores and bless others! He also loves to show the various ways he is organizing and how practical it will be out on the boat and actually fishing 😄. Thank you as well Tom for all your input into this fantastic channel! Your family is so precious 💗
I SO appreciate how you "talk" to us like you do (affirming, encouraging, explaining). It really helps me. This is helpful how you are explaining what is going on in the spouse's head because I am experiencing it. My teens have even commented their frustration about Dad's clutter being more noticeable now that I am decluttering.
Can I just say I just adore Tom and you together! I can't help but smile everytime you two are laughing together! Thanks for having him pop in and share with us! This was a really good one Dawn. My husband sometimes declutters on his own now. But most of the time he can still be pretty blind to his clutter which is ok because it stays in his area.
I love the chemistry between the two of you!! Thank you for being your authentic self and sharing your life with us!! I always look forward to your videos!! Have a wonderful week!!
It's true! I started listening to you and Dana and Cass about a year ago. I worked on the house a lot. The past two weekend my husband cleaned and organized the garage and shed. Huge difference! I was his gofer and it worked really well. I even noticed that because I made making the bed and washing the dishes daily a habit that if I'm away or have a late night, he makes sure those tasks are done. You have the formula! Thank you!
I love videos like this because it acknowledges that we can make so many changes in our lives but still face challenges in our relationships from resisting positive changes. Our home is very small with two kids so I felt a HUGE benefit when starting to adopt habits from these videos. It's still a work in progress and H is not on board yet. One downside of becoming more organized is that now when I see messes and unnecessary "stuff" I feel like my brain sees red and gets overwhelmed. I need to work on giving our family more leniency. Thank you again for these videos.
So true! When I want my husband to do something around the house, I just start doing it. A lot of times it's something out of my league and I must look ridiculous and he laughs and jumps in. On the other hand if I asked he would feel it as a demand and offer resistance. I have had some interesting experiences trying my hand at new things and our house gets a lot of stuff done! Win win 😁
Was great having Tom in your video today! My husband has not become a minimalist as much as I have, but I can see he is not keeping as many items as he did before I reduced the clutter in our home. Thanks for your help Dawn and Tom!
Things I love about this video: 1. Your outfits coordinate and they look so fresh and cute together 2. That you are so real with us! 3. You have amazing advice that is actually practical and useful Things I don’t like about your videos: I can’t find the clothes you wear on the internet to match you ;)
This topic is so real for me. I have never seen anyone cover it before so thank you for that. On a side note, I love that you and Tom are wearing matching colored tops. I do this on purpose with my husband when we are attending social gatherings, looks great in photos and makes us look like a cute "set"!
I have come so far with decluttering and made some very difficult decisions along the way! In saying that, my husband is wonderful! He doesn’t have a thing r declutter because he is naturally a minimalist! It’s myself I’ve had to work on! I’m doing great though and I’m not even half finished! Dawn your channel is such a blessing to me!❤️
🤣Dawn you're BRILLIANT! Empty containers in the space you cleaned out is genius!!! The one thing i didn't hear you mention is when the husband/significant other doesn't clean up/minimalize their stuff because they want YOU TO DO THE LABOR. Then they repurchase a ton of stuff so YOU HAVE TO DO THEIR LABOR OVER & OVER AGAIN! I think it's important for each individual to do their own minimizing. 🙏❤🙏
I have noticed that even our children leave less around since I have started decluttering! This is amazing! We are still messy people but it’s SO much better 😻
Dawn, thank you so much for this encouragement!!! My husband declutters in waves. He'll be so good at it for a while, then we'll have a large expense or he'll get stressed about something, and it's right back to saving everything. So it's a teeter totter at times. There have been times he has been right about saving something, and it has saved us $ to not have to rebuy it. But I feel like you say, that my peace of mind is worth something too. We are hoping to FINALLY finish remodeling the house we bought 4yrs ago and be able to move this summer. He has actually decided we have far to much stuff but he doesnt want to get rid of anything we might need in the next house. We tend to buy fixers, so that's not an unreasonable fear. Our compromise is that I am going to try to move the entire HOUSE in ONE load in the car hauler we already own. We don't have a lot of furniture, so I think it's totally doable. And then he is in charge of how many loads we do for the garage/shop/building supplies. Also, I LOVE your mostly black uniform!! I think it is practical, stylish and comfortable. (I have a similar uniform) But I also love this sweater on you!!! Where did you get it? Is it available online? I actually am in need of a dressy special occasion sweater that is comfortable and this justight be it! Thank you so much for all you taught me! ❤️🥰
I love seeing you and Tom together..you're a great team and couple goals in my book. Love that you are colour coordinated today. You are a big positive in my life, both of you, and I am very thankful for all that you do for us out here in TH-cam land. ..oh and that is how we spell colour in New Zealand 😎
I’ve been married to my honey for 10 years and he’s finally getting good at letting things go 🤣👌🏻 My biggest tip is let them go at their own pace and DON’T get rid of stuff without asking them first! When I do my big decluttering times I always make sure my hubby is okay with the stuff I’m letting go of, otherwise we argue and it’s not worth it.
I just want to mention I LOVE 💕 when you light a candle with the clean kitchen behind you. It really models minimalism and THAT inspires me of what my kitchen and house can look like ! Thanks Dawn !!!!
I’m 2.5 years in now, and my hubby is like his dad… he doesn’t throw or donate clothes. Even if they’re absolutely destroyed. And if he finds a shirt that’s cheap, he gets like a million of them. He has 2 dressers, 2/3 of the closet, and more shoes than he uses. I FINALLY got permission to do the hanger trick last summer. In June, I get to declutter the shirts he hasn’t worn in over a year! He’s on board with me minimizing, just not his stuff. 🤷🏼♀️ It will come. It will come.
I just love watching you and Tom interact. Your joking and sarcasm remind me so much of my husband and me, it's always hilarious to watch. When I put on your videos and my husband is home he often watches over my shoulder. Your recent trip in Arkansas was one of the best. We actually want to move to that area so it really couldn't have been a more entertaining video for us!
I found you about two months ago and I’ve been decluttering since. A couple weeks into it I had cleared out stuff in the living room and the next day I noticed my husband’s tray was missing. I asked where it was and he shouted (jokingly) DONT DECLUTTER MY TRAY! I laughed and assured him I wouldn’t touch his stuff. A couple weeks later I tackled our very messy shared office. I had piles on top of piles and they’d crept into his side. It took me a solid week but I did it! I made sure not to touch any of my husband’s stuff but I cleared all my stuff off his side. I showed him the clear counter and said I’d keep it clear if he wanted his stuff up there. Grumble. I showed him the empty cabinets on his side. Grumble. I added empty hanging file folders for his cabinet. GRUMBLE. My side stayed clean clear and peaceful. Not a week later I found him in a giant mess in the office organizing his side. I said nothing. He asked me to show him how to use the filing tabs on the folders and I did then left him be. The next day his side was completely clean and I praised him. The more I declutter the more he helps me. It’s just easier to exist in our space with less stuff and I can’t thank you enough for all that you do! You’ve made a huge impact on our lives and I’m so grateful for you and your family.
Your advice about being consistent hit home. I’ve been sorting then asking hubby to go thru the items I put in the trash pile & donate pile. If he wanted to keep anything from there I simply put it back in the cupboard, no questions asked. Yesterday he brought me 4 jackets from a closet I hadn’t gone thru yet & said “I don’t wear these any more. We could pass them along.” You could have knocked me over with a feather! Giving him control over his possessions paid off. Thank you for keeping our spirits up on this journey.
My husband loves his stuff. When I would "organize" things and leave an empty space, it was filled within a week. Love the advice of using empty boxes to stop the clutter accumulating!
Haven’t watch your (or any TH-cam) videos for a while. Came back and it’s so refreshing not seeing you in a black shirt 😍. No jundgement, you do you! It just looks light and fresh and easy, and I think that’s all so you!! ☺️
I like the black shirts Dawn. Just wanted to offer a counterpoint. 😂 Update: But then you wouldn’t have been so cohesive in appearance with Tom’s grey and white shirt. That HAD to be deliberate!
I second that! Light, fresh, easy, cute. In "Dressing your truth" system you'd probably be type 1, who suits light colors. You still can do capsule wardrobe, just replace black with light colored neutrals. It really flatters you!
Tom is always refreshingly honest when asked questions. It was so funny to watch him think about what he was going to say in response to your question about your beauty video, lol! Btw, Dawn, I love your sweater! So cute.
what you are encouraging and sharing is so right on. I have a young mom here with a large family and she stepped out and tried doing what you have been saying. she's organizing and decluttering the things she could and all of a sudden now her husband is onboard doing his stuff and she didn't even say a word to him. so. Dawn just want to say thank you thank you because of what you share we're able to share with others and have them watch your videos and you're changing their lives. you're such a blessing and I hope your mom and dad realize the great things you are doing I know Tom does you can see it in his eyes how much he loves you
I agree when he says, "I just want you to hang out with me... don't leave me alone with my stuff." I have experienced that with my husband of 41 years. Now that we are retired, we are minimalizing, simplifying, decluttering together! Earlier this year he went through books and shared many with others, and is down to 1.5 book shelves from 3!
It’s all about the little surprise moments with a spouse. Like, the other day my husband said randomly, “hey, do you want to get rid of that trash bin (used for many years for diapers)? We don’t actually need it anymore because (XYZ)”. My answer is always gleefully “yes! Get it out, go for it!” He is incredibly resourceful and finds purpose for most things, so it was tricky getting him on board, but it’s happened. His spontaneous decluttering is an act of love, showing he sees what’s important to me and that he supports it. This is all a response of my dedication to a seriously heavy home clutter detox for the past 2 years. On a side note, I’ve used many of your tricks and they work, especially the minimal “gift”. 💗
I’m saying a little prayer 🙏 right now in hope that this video rings true with my husband! Getting him on the same page as me when it comes to getting rid of junk is not going to be easy.
Thanks guys for being real with us 😂 Love yaull! My husband knows your names by now hahah!! I’m fortunate enough to have a tidy husband that I actually had to get on board with HIM like Tom mentioned. We were actually talking about moving and having to look for a larger home (which meant spending around $100,000 more than our current home). Since decluttering and making things more cohesive (like your red kitchen stools example), we actually shifted from resenting our home (and budget for not wanting to upsize) to loving our home again!! We are talking about making some minor, cosmetic updates now that we have room to stay here!! THANK YOU SISTER!!!!!
I believe in "live and let live." It's great if your partner wants to join in, but some never do. They like things a certain way and for whatever reason, maybe they feel threatened with change. Like you said, organize and declutter your own stuff first. It's still going to be nicer. We have to let go of wanting it to be perfect. Life is too short to get hung up on only being happy if your partner feels like you do. After many years of a happy marriage, I really think we have to respect our partner's way of living unless it's harmful to the family in some way.
The most relatable thing in this video for me, is the spouse who fills ANY empty space I leave, including tabletops. It makes me anxious to see stuff piled up (I'm a Cricket like Tom), but I'm trying to work on it. By work on it, I mean create container spaces for my husband, and not let my blood pressure go through the roof when there are the inevitable piles.
That is so relatable, one downside of minimizing my own stuff is that sometimes I feel soo overwhelmed and stressed out when I see messes of clutter in our house, particularly because they're not my own! And I don't want to mess with his stuff so I feel like I've lost control. Cleaning brings me comfort but messes make me go totally nuts, I wish men would not be so resistant.
Great video 😀 Got a dumpster coming Friday which my husband has been saying we need to toss a bunch of broken furniture and junk that has accumulated in our house and garage. Hoping this will give him the urge to complete the many housing projects that need to be completed
5 yrs?! I don't feel so bad then lol! I've only been decluttering for a year or so & my husband has only given up some clothing once! He definitely doesn't fight me when I clear out the house though - he knows he would lose. And he very rarely brings in more stuff.
My husband is a minimalist. Probably has been his whole life. He doesn’t own much, but he is SO MESSY! It drives me crazy!! He doesn’t understand the concept of everything having a home. But simplifying and learning he’s a butterfly and I’m a cricket has helped me to organize things in a way he can follow easily and he appreciates it, especially because I am happy and complain less. He’s getting better at putting things back. I bought him a basket and put it next to the couch and asked him if he could through his clothes in there instead of the couch. He did and after a few months he even moved the basket to his office. Don’t have to look at his pajamas all day anymore :D
You are heaven sent! Just had this conversation with my spouse yesterday (didn't go so well). This vlog post will help me keep the peace in future conversations. Thank you!❤
That's exactly what my husband does. I clear off space on a shelf in the garage which is MY shelf, and he thinks I made room for him to store more stuff. I asked him to see if there was anything in the garage that he wanted to donate and he was out there for 10 minutes, came back in the house with nothing in his hands and said, Nope, nothing to get rid of. Well, I may have to try the empty box or bin plan, but I like seeing the space. I'll keep trying. Thanks for your tips !!
yes we are about three years into decluttering and only two days ago did my husband decluter some of his things. and it was only one tiny little spot. But hey thats a win for me. I have never said a single thing to him about his stuff. I talk about what i have done around the house and he likes how our home feels now. So yeah, leave them alone. No nagging.
Something helpful is to consider is just how hard it is to change our own habits. Eating better, exercise, decreasing scroll/screen time, any practice of discipline…it’s difficult. And when we think about how hard it is to change our own habits and how we feel when loved ones criticize us, perhaps it can give us a new perspective and approach with our loved ones when trying to get them on board with a new lifestyle. Even if they buy-in to the idea, changing old patterns is hard! Criticism does not work. One reason Dawn is so successful (outside of the very important information she shares) is her approach. Her approach is one of positivity and encouragement and no criticism/judgment. I’ll speak for myself here, but I’d be willing to bet that’s one reason we all love to watch her. So try that. Positivity, encouragement, grace…no criticisms. :)
My husband has been asking what I want for my birthday. We usually go to a local trail or park for the day. You just gave me an idea in case of not-so-great weather. 💡 Thanks!
This is so very true. I’ve been simplifying our home and life for the last 2 years. I was putting some of his clothes away into his closet and realized that it is now simple and organized. He did it himself! He no longer makes snarky remarks when I reset the house every day, and mentioned how great it is for friends to stop by unexpectedly and our house looks great. Life is so much better. Thanks Dawn!!!
Tom totally called it. I'm the pack-rat, and have been watching your videos as motivation to get better. My husband is tidy and very minimalist, and I know my excess stuff really stresses him. Thank you for your always non-judgemental approach, and inspiration.
Ha ha ha ha ha! 😅 I laughed right out loud about your eyelashes falling off in bed, Dawn! You two are the best! Thank you for your teasing, your laughter and the obvious love you have for one another. So good!
Thanks Tom! lol, That wifely tone made me chuckle. Love the banter. I have helped my husband organize his areas, and he too likes company when doing it. Less pressure and makes it feel like less of a job perhaps.
I did the same thing. It took my late husband moving the same stuff in the same unopened boxes for the 7th time (we moved a lot) to finally realise that hoarding things is futile and stressful. That’s when he came on board. Shame he got sick not long afterwards and didn’t finish going through all his things. He passed two years ago and now I’m paying professional organisers to help me sort through it all. To just have my hand held while I let it go, as well as the physical help, is worth the expense.
Great tips!! Here's my thing with my hubby. I hate all things that has to do with outdoors mowing, weeding, etc. So he takes care of the outdoor stuff and I take of the inside.
So I'm just an over sharer. I talk nonstop. When I started decluttering, I started in small areas (just for myself) but shared what I'd done with him right when he'd come home from work. I'd share how excited I was with the progress, what the thought process was for what's being thrown or donated or kept, and then later on I pointed out how well it had worked. My husband is very easy going but not with his own stuff. That went on for around a year? The first time I noticed him show interest in changing his own ways was when we were getting ready for a date night and he had tried on a nice shirt he rarely wears. He noticed it didn't fit right anymore, complained that even when he was smaller, the shirt was too short and always bothered him, then on his own offered it to the donation pile. I took that opportunity and told him that weekend we could go through and get rid of things, just like that, that never fit properly. From then on it's only gotten easier. I totally agree with just doing your own thing - but when you do just point out the success in a "no big deal" /nonpushy type of way. They absolutely will notice the progress and come around.
In simplifying my areas it really has motivated my hubby to be motivated to do his areas too… it’s so important to lead by example and say how excited and great it feels to have a clean space to deal with!
The picture of Tom holding on to his clothes at the beginning of the video 😂😂😂 well played. That’s the most underrated shot of this whole video lol love it!
So, completely unrelated to the topic at hand, I had to pause the video 3 times and every time I came back to the video I smiled because you were both paused laughing. There’s clearly so much joy and friendship in your marriage and I love to see it ❤️❤️
Down in our basement we have stacks of boxes and totes that are now EMPTY!! My husband grumbled about “all that stuff” in the basement. When I told him all those boxes were empty his eyes said it all. He was utterly amazed, haha!! I reminded him how he has been putting out 4-5 large bags of trash out twice a week and how I’m going to the donation center every week. He kind of woke up and realized things are much better than they used to be and he likes it! In fact, he wants us to move faster. Do your thing and it will win them over!
Dawn. I totally get & support your black top wardrobe...but this light colored top and big earrings look great on you! Your face is bright and your hair looks really nice!
I love your content but also really smile at the banter between the two of you. The respect and love you have for each other is obvious and heartwarming.
Dawn, seriously, I don't know how you continue to come up with content on decluttering....excuse me, "organizing". 😉 I am always encouraged, and love every bit of your tips and insights. Amazed by how much psychology is really behind all this. I have learned a lot about myself and my husband as well. Thankfully, my husband has been on board with this as he happened upon some minimalism videos a few years back around the same time I found your channel. We are slowly tackling little areas around the house when we can. 🙌 Thank you! ❤️
Wow! That’s encouraging to know it took Tom 5yrs to come around. My husband struggles to let go and is always bringing in lots of stuff. Thanks for sharing!
My face hurts from smiling through this video. I love how you guys matched your shirt colors. Really like your top Dawn. I am working on pairing down my stuff. My kitchen will never be as spare as yours and that's okay. I cooked for a living in one stage of my life and I enjoy baking sweets and I make bread once a week. This means my KitchenAid stays on the counter. I cannot and mor importantly will not bring it out nearly daily to use it. Toaster is out because DH has PB toast for breakfast give out of seven and if we do burgers or other bun worthy meals I like a toasted bun. But I strive to eliminate other stuff. The other problem is my sewing/craft rooms. But with your inspiring videos I know it will come to be. Thank you. PS just bought my son a Helix. Day 5 still loving it.
Love it!!! I’ve been decluttering for almost a year. My husband is very supportive of me, but had been very resistant to decluttering his stuff. I didn’t push him, and Thankfully he doesn’t have a ton of things. But he finally decluttered his neck ties recently. (He wears the same 4-7 and had about 25!!) I bought a drawer organizer and asked him to pick only what would fit in the organizer (still more than he wears lol) he was totally cooperative. I laid them out and he started with his favorites and then just kept going till he filled it. Then I asked “So we can donate the rest?” He was totally ok with it!! He loves them being organized and easy to get to. ❤️
I agree, it's really important that you do not use words like "junk", "garbage", or worse to refer to your spouse's things. That will only make him/her even more afraid that you're going to throw it away, because it shows you do not respect his/her things at all. Respecting a person's belongings is part of respecting that person.
This couldn't come a better time! We are expecting baby in June and I've been in the nesting face, hard. We live in a 2 bedroom condo and need to make space for baby. I've been decluttering and organizing what I can, given that I've been recovering from 2 emerg surgeries while pregnant. My partner does not seem to understand and has gotten upset at me for donating items we haven't used for years. I tried to have him help me declutter our office space and that was a huge battle...."I don't want to get rid of my stuff" lol I'm like, "we could simply organize your stuff..." that didn't really work either. I've got a great husband, but he's so stubborn when it comes to this! He is a 'bee' when it comes to organizing...I'm slowly making sure we have less, but that those things are easily accessible for him - he appreciates that.
I know this is off topic but- that first morning when you walk into your kitchen after spring cleaning it the day before,and everything is clean from the top of the cabinets to the floor is so wonderful!! Thank you for inspiring us all - you and your husband
![เขามัทรี - เอ็กซ์ ศุภกฤต - จอนนี่มิวสิค [ Official MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AS9ufKuQIVs/mqdefault.jpg)
Thanks Helix for sponsoring! Visit helixsleep.com/minimalmom to get up to $200 off your Helix mattress, plus two free pillows.
And here is the Beauty Secrets Video with Diana that we mentioned: th-cam.com/video/a3kKG8U0kPA/w-d-xo.html THANK YOU for watching, we are so grateful!!! - Dawn
Question? Since having your mattress for so long, how are the dips or indentations from where you lay? Thanks.
@@krisgossett1570 so far no dips!
@@TheMinimalMom Wow! That's great. Love your channel and all that you do. Hugs!
You look soooo pretty Dawn in that sweater!!! 😍
I haven’t watched the video, I just have to say my husband is set in his way… just in case items. There’s no changing or encouraging him.
I've been following Dawn for almost a year now and chipping away at our house. This past Christmas, my husband wrapped up two big boxes of stuff of his that he had decluttered, and gave them to me as a gift! I thought it was so thoughtful ❤️
That is so cute
@@loracorwyn3713 a total surprise too!
That is so sweet!!!
Wow!
That is such a sweet thing to do! You have a keeper there!☺️
My 9yo got me today! I’ve been decluttering a lot. Just starting to get to kids areas. They’ve been hearing me talk about it and watching lots of stuff leave the house. I sent my 9yo to get a thermometer. She came back and asked if the one she found was the right one. I told her I actually prefer the other one because it works better. She was like, soooo why are you keeping this one if you don’t use it?? 😆 You got me little one! The thermometer went in the donate bin right then!
I can attest to this, I’ve been watching your videos for about 8 months now and I have decluttered so much from our home (by myself.) Having your videos on in the background did creep into my husband’s mind, he calls you my “friend” and says things like “de clutter” “the season you’re in.” This past weekend he asked me to help him go through his clothes and remove the things he doesn’t use anymore! We were able to donate so much it was great.
When he starts using the word "bandwidth" you know he's converted!🙃
Stealth conversion. I love it!
@@ruthhinnenkamp6754 LOL 😅 or how everything we own is "inventory we have to manage." I find myself using the same vocabulary when I'm explaining these things to others 😄
I have asked my son, who has a truck, for a dump run as a gift. Costs him nothing and as we are loading my stuff, he and his father inevitably find things of their own to throw on the truck too. Wins all around.
Another way to flip the narrative. I was consolidating 3 junk drawers down to 1. It helped to ask my husband to "help me decide what to keep" rather than what to toss. Sounded so much more positive.
Great idea! I am finding it's all about the wording. If I suggest getting rid of anything, donating or decluttering, I think that instantly makes my husband worried and immediately more protective of his stuff.
Wasn’t until my parents stayed one weekend till they understood why I’ve been decluttering so much. The day after they went home I got a message asking if I would help them. ♥️
This happens every time my parents visit me too. They spend a lot of time talking about “going home & decluttering”, not because I say anything to them, but because they see how nice it is to have clear spaces AND that we have everything we need…we aren’t “making do” with the “minimal” items kept. I think that last part is very important when modeling minimalism…yes, I have significantly fewer items than most, but I have what I need. I have the clothes to dress appropriately for my life, I have the food we like to eat, I have the tools I need in the kitchen, I have items I enjoy for entertainment or relaxing (For example, I like to read so I keep a small stack of books on the shelf. After I read those books, I pass them on and get a new stack.) So my home is tidy with lots of white space (clear counters, some empty drawers/cabinets/closets) but I comfortably have every single thing I need and everything guests need/want when they visit. :) I really think it’s that second part that makes an impression because many people think “minimalism” is “lack.”
Biggest thing I would advise is don't nag, whine or complain. Talk in objective terms like "wow this area looks so nice now! It makes me happy I don't have to pick up all this stuff!" Once your husband sees how happy you are with what you are doing, he will want to continue taking credit for making you happy and get on board.
I laughed so hard when Tom told about your eyelashes 🤣 I started out with the kon Mari book and my husband took a piece of tape and covered the word "joy" with "pain" so that's how decluttering went at first. 🤦🏼♀️😂Now, 4-5 years later he genuinely appreciates how minimal and tidy and peaceful the house is when he comes home. It'll happen. ❤️
That’s hysterical!
... covered the word "joy" with "pain" 😂
I didn't need to get him on board, he's the tidy one, when I discovered minimalism and simple living, during lockdown, he was like..... finally! 🤣
My husband too, he's been trying to get me to declutter more for years. It's weird to say, I never realized he was a minimalist until I started watching Dawn. (I don't think he knew it either.) He definitely has Dawn's, "but could we live without it?" approach to stuff.
Dawn and Tom, I love seeing both of you together in videos. You are simply the best couple. Also, thanks for saying that it took Tom a while to get on board with the minimalist lifestyle. My husband died over 25 years ago, and I still can't bring myself to declutter his (our) garage. I just keep adding to the mess instead of clearing out the things that I can't or don't use. If I really think about it, he's probably on board by now ...so it's time to finally get that area under control.
My dad was finally able to let go of my mom’s things last fall. She passed 8 years ago. We talked about it and what did it for him was when we talked about mom wouldn’t want these things just stored here getting old, mildew and going to waste when family, friends and other people could use them.
Aw, I loved the line, "He's probably on board by now." ❤️❤️
☹️💔🙏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️
💗💗💗
He would be okay with you letting go of some now and some later. He would want someone else to enjoy it.
....and they (the husbands) shall be won without a word. 1 Peter 3:1.
Kudos to both of you 💕
Love this!
That sweater is so cute!!
Thank you! Tom picked it out for me! :)
And he's coordinating with you 😍
@@TheMinimalMom it's matching Toms sweater! :)
@@TheMinimalMom do you know where from?
My husband has been supportive and on board the whole time. But I also play your videos ALL the time while I’m cleaning and he overhears. Often when I’m decluttering and need a push, Dave will chime in and be like, “well The Minimal Mom said…”
😅😅👍
My husband also says "What did the minimal mom say?" too...
Be patient. Don’t say anything. For 3 years I decluttered my and the kids stuff and finally my husband noticed how much calmer our home feels. He has even more than once mentioned it to others! Yeah wow! I was floored! His words, “the house just feels better”. Patience
I moved into a senior apartment complex. Everything is inside. I don’t have to go to another building to do my laundry. I love that. I volunteered to get the tornado/decorations storage room. 4 people volunteered to help me. It has gone so well. We work very well together. I have a vision of how I want the room to look. It’s going so well. The women have worked very hard. My time of decluttering my own home has made me a lot better organizer. Now I know how to get rid of stuff that is no longer in good shape. Thank you so much for all your videos. They have helped me so much. My life is so much better.
I LOVE your shirt and how y’all were color coordinated. Also, the angle of this video is awesome! I feel like I’m right with you in the kitchen having a heart-to-heart. 🥰 Thank you for this inspiring video! So encouraging.
Yes! It felt like we were sitting at her island chatting about ways to help our family members get on board and understand that they have a lot of thoughts and feelings around letting go of things! Great video and so true!! ❤
Yes! I also love that sweater!
Please add the link to the sweater🙂
My hubby pushes back against me decluttering. It is so nice to hear that it took Tom 5 years to come around. I have only been going for about 18 months so that gives me hope.
me too! My husband feels the need to keep everything he's ever touched in case he might need it in the next ten years. Drives me INSANE! Tom's five years gives me hope I might just survive haha
I've found this to be true with my husband too. I'm a minimalist and he was, dare I say it? (A hoarder) lol. He had brought things into our home from decades ago that he schlepped from province to province. I think that once he saw how peaceful and serene our home (outside of his spaces) made him feel the contrast between those spaces motivated him to move to minimalism too (of his own volition). He has purged sooo much stuff in the past few years. He's now telling me I should get rid of stuff at times lol. I think it's awesome because we can now live with a harmonized view of "stuff".
Yeah Tom. We've missed seeing him in videos. Thank you for keeping it real & making us laugh. 😊 Great video.
My husband is the most steady, constant man and does not like change! Believe me when I say if you start working on your stuff and he starts seeing the benefits, he will come around! It takes a whole, but it does happen!
Awesome!!! This is encouraging to hear Deborah!!! :)
Same. He's slowly starting to help me. Several months ago he went through his shirts just totally out of the blue 😄
😮
Jewellery declutter please great video
Since I was little clutter has given me anxiety. I need space to feel comfortable. So for my first marriage I put a table with drawers next to my husband's favorite chair to hold whatever he wanted. In the master bedroom I gave him an armoire to hold whatever he needed it to hold and I also gave him the garage to do with what he wanted. It worked well and no that's not why we divorced LOL. My second marriage we bought a house with 3 bedrooms. I gave him one of them to use however he wants and pretty much the whole basement for him to do with what he wants. This works well because in both cases it uses the container concept and gave/gives them the freedom to keep what they want without any interference from me. My second husband enjoys keeping little to only necessary inventory now. He recognizes the benefits of my clutter-free ways and has adopted many of my habits without any prodding from me.
It is so refreshing to see the two of you laugh together and it is so lovely that Tom thinks you don't need anything. You two are a breath of spring always! Thanks for allowing us our Tom fix.
Hugs from Vancouver, BC
BRILLIANT idea to put empty containers as "space claimers" to SAVE THE (newly discovered) SPACE!!
Love this.
N love u, Dawn (n Tom.)
You are absolutely right about not using the word declutter 👍🏼. We use the words “reducing inventory” you so graciously shared with us all Dawn :-) A couple months after the beginning my journey of reducing my inventory my husband saw it and caught the vision! He went out into the garage where his huge double door cabinet of fishing supplies was stored and reduced inventory, organized it, AND continues to do both probably at least once a month realizing how much more stuff he hasn’t used and probably won’t and is willing to pass it along to thrift stores and bless others! He also loves to show the various ways he is organizing and how practical it will be out on the boat and actually fishing 😄. Thank you as well Tom for all your input into this fantastic channel! Your family is so precious 💗
I SO appreciate how you "talk" to us like you do (affirming, encouraging, explaining). It really helps me. This is helpful how you are explaining what is going on in the spouse's head because I am experiencing it. My teens have even commented their frustration about Dad's clutter being more noticeable now that I am decluttering.
Can I just say I just adore Tom and you together! I can't help but smile everytime you two are laughing together! Thanks for having him pop in and share with us! This was a really good one Dawn. My husband sometimes declutters on his own now. But most of the time he can still be pretty blind to his clutter which is ok because it stays in his area.
I love the chemistry between the two of you!! Thank you for being your authentic self and sharing your life with us!! I always look forward to your videos!! Have a wonderful week!!
Same here
I agree. Especially when Tom is laughing about her losing her eyelashes and she reminds us to be patient with spouses. They're fun to watch.
Same!! Such a great couple!
It's true! I started listening to you and Dana and Cass about a year ago. I worked on the house a lot. The past two weekend my husband cleaned and organized the garage and shed. Huge difference! I was his gofer and it worked really well. I even noticed that because I made making the bed and washing the dishes daily a habit that if I'm away or have a late night, he makes sure those tasks are done. You have the formula! Thank you!
I love videos like this because it acknowledges that we can make so many changes in our lives but still face challenges in our relationships from resisting positive changes.
Our home is very small with two kids so I felt a HUGE benefit when starting to adopt habits from these videos. It's still a work in progress and H is not on board yet. One downside of becoming more organized is that now when I see messes and unnecessary "stuff" I feel like my brain sees red and gets overwhelmed. I need to work on giving our family more leniency. Thank you again for these videos.
So true! When I want my husband to do something around the house, I just start doing it. A lot of times it's something out of my league and I must look ridiculous and he laughs and jumps in. On the other hand if I asked he would feel it as a demand and offer resistance. I have had some interesting experiences trying my hand at new things and our house gets a lot of stuff done! Win win 😁
Was great having Tom in your video today! My husband has not become a minimalist as much as I have, but I can see he is not keeping as many items as he did before I reduced the clutter in our home. Thanks for your help Dawn and Tom!
Things I love about this video:
1. Your outfits coordinate and they look so fresh and cute together
2. That you are so real with us!
3. You have amazing advice that is actually practical and useful
Things I don’t like about your videos:
I can’t find the clothes you wear on the internet to match you ;)
This topic is so real for me. I have never seen anyone cover it before so thank you for that. On a side note, I love that you and Tom are wearing matching colored tops. I do this on purpose with my husband when we are attending social gatherings, looks great in photos and makes us look like a cute "set"!
I have come so far with decluttering and made some very difficult decisions along the way! In saying that, my husband is wonderful! He doesn’t have a thing r declutter because he is naturally a minimalist! It’s myself I’ve had to work on! I’m doing great though and I’m not even half finished! Dawn your channel is such a blessing to me!❤️
🤣Dawn you're BRILLIANT! Empty containers in the space you cleaned out is genius!!! The one thing i didn't hear you mention is when the husband/significant other doesn't clean up/minimalize their stuff because they want YOU TO DO THE LABOR. Then they repurchase a ton of stuff so YOU HAVE TO DO THEIR LABOR OVER & OVER AGAIN! I think it's important for each individual to do their own minimizing. 🙏❤🙏
That top, your makeup, the lighting, spot on. It brings out your true beauty. Well done
I have noticed that even our children leave less around since I have started decluttering! This is amazing! We are still messy people but it’s SO much better 😻
I love the thumbnail 🤣
Tom holding onto the bundle in his arms pretty much sums it up 😂
Dawn, thank you so much for this encouragement!!! My husband declutters in waves. He'll be so good at it for a while, then we'll have a large expense or he'll get stressed about something, and it's right back to saving everything. So it's a teeter totter at times. There have been times he has been right about saving something, and it has saved us $ to not have to rebuy it. But I feel like you say, that my peace of mind is worth something too. We are hoping to FINALLY finish remodeling the house we bought 4yrs ago and be able to move this summer. He has actually decided we have far to much stuff but he doesnt want to get rid of anything we might need in the next house. We tend to buy fixers, so that's not an unreasonable fear. Our compromise is that I am going to try to move the entire HOUSE in ONE load in the car hauler we already own. We don't have a lot of furniture, so I think it's totally doable. And then he is in charge of how many loads we do for the garage/shop/building supplies.
Also, I LOVE your mostly black uniform!! I think it is practical, stylish and comfortable. (I have a similar uniform) But I also love this sweater on you!!! Where did you get it? Is it available online? I actually am in need of a dressy special occasion sweater that is comfortable and this justight be it!
Thank you so much for all you taught me! ❤️🥰
I love seeing you and Tom together..you're a great team and couple goals in my book. Love that you are colour coordinated today. You are a big positive in my life, both of you, and I am very thankful for all that you do for us out here in TH-cam land.
..oh and that is how we spell colour in New Zealand 😎
I’ve been married to my honey for 10 years and he’s finally getting good at letting things go 🤣👌🏻
My biggest tip is let them go at their own pace and DON’T get rid of stuff without asking them first! When I do my big decluttering times I always make sure my hubby is okay with the stuff I’m letting go of, otherwise we argue and it’s not worth it.
I just want to mention I LOVE 💕 when you light a candle with the clean kitchen behind you. It really models minimalism and THAT inspires me of what my kitchen and house can look like ! Thanks Dawn !!!!
Yay, Tom’s back! I’ve missed you guys working on projects together. Your dynamic is fun to watch ☺️
I’m 2.5 years in now, and my hubby is like his dad… he doesn’t throw or donate clothes. Even if they’re absolutely destroyed. And if he finds a shirt that’s cheap, he gets like a million of them. He has 2 dressers, 2/3 of the closet, and more shoes than he uses. I FINALLY got permission to do the hanger trick last summer. In June, I get to declutter the shirts he hasn’t worn in over a year! He’s on board with me minimizing, just not his stuff. 🤷🏼♀️ It will come. It will come.
I just love watching you and Tom interact. Your joking and sarcasm remind me so much of my husband and me, it's always hilarious to watch. When I put on your videos and my husband is home he often watches over my shoulder. Your recent trip in Arkansas was one of the best. We actually want to move to that area so it really couldn't have been a more entertaining video for us!
I loved your look today. The earrings and sweater are so pretty. You and Tom are so cute. Good video!
I found you about two months ago and I’ve been decluttering since. A couple weeks into it I had cleared out stuff in the living room and the next day I noticed my husband’s tray was missing. I asked where it was and he shouted (jokingly) DONT DECLUTTER MY TRAY! I laughed and assured him I wouldn’t touch his stuff. A couple weeks later I tackled our very messy shared office. I had piles on top of piles and they’d crept into his side. It took me a solid week but I did it! I made sure not to touch any of my husband’s stuff but I cleared all my stuff off his side. I showed him the clear counter and said I’d keep it clear if he wanted his stuff up there. Grumble. I showed him the empty cabinets on his side. Grumble. I added empty hanging file folders for his cabinet. GRUMBLE. My side stayed clean clear and peaceful. Not a week later I found him in a giant mess in the office organizing his side. I said nothing. He asked me to show him how to use the filing tabs on the folders and I did then left him be. The next day his side was completely clean and I praised him. The more I declutter the more he helps me. It’s just easier to exist in our space with less stuff and I can’t thank you enough for all that you do! You’ve made a huge impact on our lives and I’m so grateful for you and your family.
Your advice about being consistent hit home. I’ve been sorting then asking hubby to go thru the items I put in the trash pile & donate pile. If he wanted to keep anything from there I simply put it back in the cupboard, no questions asked. Yesterday he brought me 4 jackets from a closet I hadn’t gone thru yet & said “I don’t wear these any more. We could pass them along.” You could have knocked me over with a feather! Giving him control over his possessions paid off. Thank you for keeping our spirits up on this journey.
My husband loves his stuff. When I would "organize" things and leave an empty space, it was filled within a week. Love the advice of using empty boxes to stop the clutter accumulating!
It appears that some people can't stand an empty space 😟
Haven’t watch your (or any TH-cam) videos for a while. Came back and it’s so refreshing not seeing you in a black shirt 😍. No jundgement, you do you! It just looks light and fresh and easy, and I think that’s all so you!! ☺️
Good to know!!!! :)
I like the black shirts Dawn.
Just wanted to offer a counterpoint. 😂
Update:
But then you wouldn’t have been so cohesive in appearance with Tom’s grey and white shirt.
That HAD to be deliberate!
Yes!! She looks so beautiful! She always does but it looks great on you Dawn. As soon as I saw the sweater I wanted it. Very cute Dawn😘
I second that! Light, fresh, easy, cute. In "Dressing your truth" system you'd probably be type 1, who suits light colors.
You still can do capsule wardrobe, just replace black with light colored neutrals. It really flatters you!
Tom is always refreshingly honest when asked questions. It was so funny to watch him think about what he was going to say in response to your question about your beauty video, lol! Btw, Dawn, I love your sweater! So cute.
what you are encouraging and sharing is so right on. I have a young mom here with a large family and she stepped out and tried doing what you have been saying. she's organizing and decluttering the things she could and all of a sudden now her husband is onboard doing his stuff and she didn't even say a word to him. so. Dawn just want to say thank you thank you because of what you share we're able to share with others and have them watch your videos and you're changing their lives. you're such a blessing and I hope your mom and dad realize the great things you are doing I know Tom does you can see it in his eyes how much he loves you
Still watching the video but wanted to say you look beautiful! Love the sweater/earrings/hair combo! So thankful for your videos!
I agree when he says, "I just want you to hang out with me... don't leave me alone with my stuff."
I have experienced that with my husband of 41 years.
Now that we are retired, we are minimalizing, simplifying, decluttering together! Earlier this year he went through books and shared many with others, and is down to 1.5 book shelves from 3!
It’s all about the little surprise moments with a spouse. Like, the other day my husband said randomly, “hey, do you want to get rid of that trash bin (used for many years for diapers)? We don’t actually need it anymore because (XYZ)”. My answer is always gleefully “yes! Get it out, go for it!” He is incredibly resourceful and finds purpose for most things, so it was tricky getting him on board, but it’s happened. His spontaneous decluttering is an act of love, showing he sees what’s important to me and that he supports it. This is all a response of my dedication to a seriously heavy home clutter detox for the past 2 years.
On a side note, I’ve used many of your tricks and they work, especially the minimal “gift”. 💗
Dawn I love your sweater today! You look so glowing 😊 We are saving for a new mattress and hope to get the firmest Helix later this summer.
I’m saying a little prayer 🙏 right now in hope that this video rings true with my husband! Getting him on the same page as me when it comes to getting rid of junk is not going to be easy.
😬 oops I said junk
Thanks guys for being real with us 😂 Love yaull! My husband knows your names by now hahah!! I’m fortunate enough to have a tidy husband that I actually had to get on board with HIM like Tom mentioned. We were actually talking about moving and having to look for a larger home (which meant spending around $100,000 more than our current home). Since decluttering and making things more cohesive (like your red kitchen stools example), we actually shifted from resenting our home (and budget for not wanting to upsize) to loving our home again!! We are talking about making some minor, cosmetic updates now that we have room to stay here!!
THANK YOU SISTER!!!!!
It is SO TRUE - just by displaying a way of life that works, it will prompt others to want to try. No arm twisting needed. :)
I have heard that husbands love to see us looking our best! Good job, Dawn!!!
I believe in "live and let live." It's great if your partner wants to join in, but some never do. They like things a certain way and for whatever reason, maybe they feel threatened with change. Like you said, organize and declutter your own stuff first. It's still going to be nicer. We have to let go of wanting it to be perfect. Life is too short to get hung up on only being happy if your partner feels like you do. After many years of a happy marriage, I really think we have to respect our partner's way of living unless it's harmful to the family in some way.
Yes I agree.
The most relatable thing in this video for me, is the spouse who fills ANY empty space I leave, including tabletops. It makes me anxious to see stuff piled up (I'm a Cricket like Tom), but I'm trying to work on it. By work on it, I mean create container spaces for my husband, and not let my blood pressure go through the roof when there are the inevitable piles.
Oh my gosh, yes! I clear a flat surface and I have to be watchful that it doesn't get junked up...sorry, not "junk"! Ha HA!
That is so relatable, one downside of minimizing my own stuff is that sometimes I feel soo overwhelmed and stressed out when I see messes of clutter in our house, particularly because they're not my own! And I don't want to mess with his stuff so I feel like I've lost control. Cleaning brings me comfort but messes make me go totally nuts, I wish men would not be so resistant.
Love the 'don't leave me alone with my stuff'!
Great video 😀 Got a dumpster coming Friday which my husband has been saying we need to toss a bunch of broken furniture and junk that has accumulated in our house and garage. Hoping this will give him the urge to complete the many housing projects that need to be completed
5 yrs?! I don't feel so bad then lol! I've only been decluttering for a year or so & my husband has only given up some clothing once! He definitely doesn't fight me when I clear out the house though - he knows he would lose. And he very rarely brings in more stuff.
My husband is a minimalist. Probably has been his whole life. He doesn’t own much, but he is SO MESSY! It drives me crazy!! He doesn’t understand the concept of everything having a home. But simplifying and learning he’s a butterfly and I’m a cricket has helped me to organize things in a way he can follow easily and he appreciates it, especially because I am happy and complain less. He’s getting better at putting things back.
I bought him a basket and put it next to the couch and asked him if he could through his clothes in there instead of the couch. He did and after a few months he even moved the basket to his office. Don’t have to look at his pajamas all day anymore :D
Ladybug/cricket over here 🙋🏼♀️ This gives me hope, being married to a butterfly, lol! Thank you for sharing!
You are heaven sent! Just had this conversation with my spouse yesterday (didn't go so well). This vlog post will help me keep the peace in future conversations. Thank you!❤
That's exactly what my husband does. I clear off space on a shelf in the garage which is MY shelf, and he thinks I made room for him to store more stuff. I asked him to see if there was anything in the garage that he wanted to donate and he was out there for 10 minutes, came back in the house with nothing in his hands and said, Nope, nothing to get rid of. Well, I may have to try the empty box or bin
plan, but I like seeing the space. I'll keep trying. Thanks for your tips !!
yes we are about three years into decluttering and only two days ago did my husband decluter some of his things. and it was only one tiny little spot. But hey thats a win for me. I have never said a single thing to him about his stuff. I talk about what i have done around the house and he likes how our home feels now.
So yeah, leave them alone. No nagging.
Something helpful is to consider is just how hard it is to change our own habits. Eating better, exercise, decreasing scroll/screen time, any practice of discipline…it’s difficult. And when we think about how hard it is to change our own habits and how we feel when loved ones criticize us, perhaps it can give us a new perspective and approach with our loved ones when trying to get them on board with a new lifestyle. Even if they buy-in to the idea, changing old patterns is hard! Criticism does not work. One reason Dawn is so successful (outside of the very important information she shares) is her approach. Her approach is one of positivity and encouragement and no criticism/judgment. I’ll speak for myself here, but I’d be willing to bet that’s one reason we all love to watch her. So try that. Positivity, encouragement, grace…no criticisms. :)
My husband has been asking what I want for my birthday. We usually go to a local trail or park for the day. You just gave me an idea in case of not-so-great weather. 💡 Thanks!
This is so very true. I’ve been simplifying our home and life for the last 2 years. I was putting some of his clothes away into his closet and realized that it is now simple and organized. He did it himself! He no longer makes snarky remarks when I reset the house every day, and mentioned how great it is for friends to stop by unexpectedly and our house looks great. Life is so much better. Thanks Dawn!!!
Tom totally called it. I'm the pack-rat, and have been watching your videos as motivation to get better. My husband is tidy and very minimalist, and I know my excess stuff really stresses him. Thank you for your always non-judgemental approach, and inspiration.
My favorite part of your videos are when you and Tom are laughing together. Makes my day !
Your sweater looks so nice on you! Yes, leading by example and not nagging are helpful in getting your spouse/family members on board!!
Ha ha ha ha ha! 😅
I laughed right out loud about your eyelashes falling off in bed, Dawn! You two are the best! Thank you for your teasing, your laughter and the obvious love you have for one another. So good!
Thanks Tom! lol, That wifely tone made me chuckle. Love the banter. I have helped my husband organize his areas, and he too likes company when doing it. Less pressure and makes it feel like less of a job perhaps.
I did the same thing. It took my late husband moving the same stuff in the same unopened boxes for the 7th time (we moved a lot) to finally realise that hoarding things is futile and stressful. That’s when he came on board. Shame he got sick not long afterwards and didn’t finish going through all his things. He passed two years ago and now I’m paying professional organisers to help me sort through it all. To just have my hand held while I let it go, as well as the physical help, is worth the expense.
Great tips!! Here's my thing with my hubby. I hate all things that has to do with outdoors mowing, weeding, etc. So he takes care of the outdoor stuff and I take of the inside.
So I'm just an over sharer. I talk nonstop. When I started decluttering, I started in small areas (just for myself) but shared what I'd done with him right when he'd come home from work. I'd share how excited I was with the progress, what the thought process was for what's being thrown or donated or kept, and then later on I pointed out how well it had worked. My husband is very easy going but not with his own stuff. That went on for around a year? The first time I noticed him show interest in changing his own ways was when we were getting ready for a date night and he had tried on a nice shirt he rarely wears. He noticed it didn't fit right anymore, complained that even when he was smaller, the shirt was too short and always bothered him, then on his own offered it to the donation pile. I took that opportunity and told him that weekend we could go through and get rid of things, just like that, that never fit properly. From then on it's only gotten easier. I totally agree with just doing your own thing - but when you do just point out the success in a "no big deal" /nonpushy type of way. They absolutely will notice the progress and come around.
Also- that sweater is beautiful on you and I thought it was so cute how you guys matched!
In simplifying my areas it really has motivated my hubby to be motivated to do his areas too… it’s so important to lead by example and say how excited and great it feels to have a clean space to deal with!
The picture of Tom holding on to his clothes at the beginning of the video 😂😂😂 well played. That’s the most underrated shot of this whole video lol love it!
So, completely unrelated to the topic at hand, I had to pause the video 3 times and every time I came back to the video I smiled because you were both paused laughing. There’s clearly so much joy and friendship in your marriage and I love to see it ❤️❤️
Down in our basement we have stacks of boxes and totes that are now EMPTY!! My husband grumbled about “all that stuff” in the basement. When I told him all those boxes were empty his eyes said it all. He was utterly amazed, haha!! I reminded him how he has been putting out 4-5 large bags of trash out twice a week and how I’m going to the donation center every week. He kind of woke up and realized things are much better than they used to be and he likes it! In fact, he wants us to move faster. Do your thing and it will win them over!
I loved your coordinating outfits. Nice to see you vary your wardrobe occasionally!
thank you both for your transparency, humility, and sincerity! you truly inspire me ❤
Dawn. I totally get & support your black top wardrobe...but this light colored top and big earrings look great on you! Your face is bright and your hair looks really nice!
I love your content but also really smile at the banter between the two of you. The respect and love you have for each other is obvious and heartwarming.
Dawn, seriously, I don't know how you continue to come up with content on decluttering....excuse me, "organizing". 😉 I am always encouraged, and love every bit of your tips and insights. Amazed by how much psychology is really behind all this. I have learned a lot about myself and my husband as well.
Thankfully, my husband has been on board with this as he happened upon some minimalism videos a few years back around the same time I found your channel. We are slowly tackling little areas around the house when we can. 🙌 Thank you! ❤️
Wow! That’s encouraging to know it took Tom 5yrs to come around. My husband struggles to let go and is always bringing in lots of stuff. Thanks for sharing!
My face hurts from smiling through this video. I love how you guys matched your shirt colors. Really like your top Dawn. I am working on pairing down my stuff. My kitchen will never be as spare as yours and that's okay. I cooked for a living in one stage of my life and I enjoy baking sweets and I make bread once a week. This means my KitchenAid stays on the counter. I cannot and mor importantly will not bring it out nearly daily to use it. Toaster is out because DH has PB toast for breakfast give out of seven and if we do burgers or other bun worthy meals I like a toasted bun. But I strive to eliminate other stuff. The other problem is my sewing/craft rooms. But with your inspiring videos I know it will come to be. Thank you. PS just bought my son a Helix. Day 5 still loving it.
Love it!!! I’ve been decluttering for almost a year. My husband is very supportive of me, but had been very resistant to decluttering his stuff. I didn’t push him, and Thankfully he doesn’t have a ton of things. But he finally decluttered his neck ties recently. (He wears the same 4-7 and had about 25!!) I bought a drawer organizer and asked him to pick only what would fit in the organizer (still more than he wears lol) he was totally cooperative. I laid them out and he started with his favorites and then just kept going till he filled it. Then I asked “So we can donate the rest?” He was totally ok with it!! He loves them being organized and easy to get to. ❤️
I absolutely LOVE your top. It is very becoming on you. I know it's outside of your "all black" comfort zone but you wear it very well!
I agree, it's really important that you do not use words like "junk", "garbage", or worse to refer to your spouse's things. That will only make him/her even more afraid that you're going to throw it away, because it shows you do not respect his/her things at all. Respecting a person's belongings is part of respecting that person.
You’re looking great. The sweater looks so nice on you. Great job and video as always! Thanks❤️
This couldn't come a better time!
We are expecting baby in June and I've been in the nesting face, hard. We live in a 2 bedroom condo and need to make space for baby.
I've been decluttering and organizing what I can, given that I've been recovering from 2 emerg surgeries while pregnant.
My partner does not seem to understand and has gotten upset at me for donating items we haven't used for years. I tried to have him help me declutter our office space and that was a huge battle...."I don't want to get rid of my stuff" lol I'm like, "we could simply organize your stuff..." that didn't really work either. I've got a great husband, but he's so stubborn when it comes to this! He is a 'bee' when it comes to organizing...I'm slowly making sure we have less, but that those things are easily accessible for him - he appreciates that.
I know this is off topic but- that first morning when you walk into your kitchen after spring cleaning it the day before,and everything is clean from the top of the cabinets to the floor is so wonderful!! Thank you for inspiring us all - you and your husband
Great ideas. I am going to use this advice to approach my parent's about their kitchen cupboards. I love the word 'Organise'. 😉
I love the idea of asking to help organize their half of the closet for Mother's day is great!
I love how you and Tom have so much fun during the videos!!