Self image, dysmorphia and distortion
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2024
- I wanted to make a video explaining my thought processes and a bit about my background about the way i feel about the way i look. Im not sure if this will help anyone or if it is just explaining a bit about me, either way i hope you enjoy it
Turns out i was talking too quietly to put the song i talked about under the video. But if youre interested keep watching till the end of the video. (although i had to chop off the end of the video as youtube had a hissy fit due to the copyright of my own song)
/ 05-girl-in-the-mirror
although I should point out ive not sang for over two years and Im not used to singing sitting down hence why im all fidgety
all music by moi
I can relate to all you have said completely. It is more then horrible to live and not really know what "you look like".. As far as compliments go I hate them as well and don't even know how to respond.. I kind of just freeze like a total idiot.... But since this isn't face to face I think it's ok to give you a compliment... You are honestly a beautiful girl in and out.. I am your age and have been dealing with AN since I was 17... All we can do is take it day by day.. And deal with the shitty health complications that our illness caused... Wish you all the best xo
This video relate to me so much, is even scary. I think I can't myself explain better to my therapist or myself how I feel about myself and you did it for me when you don't even know me. You making so much sense with everything. Thank you and I hope you had good Christmas 😃
You are truly a beautiful person Charlotte, you may not appreciate the comment or recognise it- but you are. And damn Girl! You got one hell of a voice
xx
+Bethany B thank you so much!
I so relate to the "if you can't be pretty at least you can be thin." Hugs girl!
beautiful song, beautiful voice :)
I LOVE your song...it really speaks to me. I too, have had these feelings inside of me since age 9 or younger. I think my "ana voice" started developing when I was 9, but Ana didn't manifest herself until I was 12. I too, wrote some very dark poetry and short stories at ages 9-12. My writing skills were really great, I had a gift but I wrote about the darkness inside of me and so didn't always get a lot of positive input. This was in the early 1980's and now if a kid wrote some of the stuff I wrote, they'd have been referred to a counselor, but back then all they did was correct my grammar and spelling. I even wrote about wanting to kill myself and also wrote about killing the kids who were bullying me and then running away to a new place and changing my name and no one offered to help me. Later my theme song came from a real artist, there was a song back in the day that went "What about me, it isn't fair, Ive had enough now I want my share, can't you see..I Want to Live, but you just take more than you give." Somehow that song gave me hope and I realized I did want to live, but for some reason I'd been chosen for others to suck the life out of. I then changed my writing to kids who escaped their bad lives and started new good lives and I just lived in my fantasy world until I was old enough to get out and live on my own. Of course, never having any counseling for my ED or other issues, caused me to make more mistakes as an adult. Fast forward to now, Im 47 and am as healthy as Im ever gonna be but Im satisfied with where I am at and Im proud of myself for all Ive survived. No one else could've survived being me better than me. Its still not easy, I still have my down days. There's an American writer who wrote a book about Ana, and she refers to the concept of Recovered(period). I doubt that anyone w Ana will ever be recovered in the sense that we function like those that have never encountered Ana. But, it is possible to manage and it is a manage for life disease that we always have to b on top of. I still have to spend thousands of dollars a year maintaining my teeth from all the damage Ana did. I get down about it sometimes, but then I say like you did, Ana was NOT a choice. It wasn't. Ana was something that happened to me and short of being born Not me, there was nothing I could ever do to change it happening to me. all I can do now, is move on. Sorry for my rambling, but I loved your song and it got my mind rolling!
"Talk back" . You "don't mind it really" but you don't want to hear your beautiful .... but ... i've bin staring at beauty talking about ugliness for the last twenty minutes aarch ..... Hair like corn silk . Tall delicate frame . Full lips .Fine bone structure . Soulful doe eyes .Long expressive pianists hands . Your you could talk about anything and i'll be transfixed beautiful . You may hate me for this but I'm really truly never being insincere !!! That being said . Thanks for the song . You have a really sweat voice and a lot of courage speaking your truth
Oh dysmorphia, how you haunt all of us
+PEACE'S EATING DISORDER VLOG its a fucker that's for sure
p.s. Elsa, you look great in green xx. hmmmm, love the nails, but not sure on the dying lady one! - omg its so you! lol. ok, i like the dying lady one as well! Charlotte, you are a lovely singer with a great voice.Your song is beautiful,its so sad, and you sing your story so well sweetie, you really do. You have a lovely voice and the song is beautifully sad. 10 cute stars out of 10 from me.xx well done sweetie.
I can relate my darling. How awful it is. I would love to look like you, you are lovely to look at, as much as you don't want to hear that xx
Hi Charlotte,how are you? Happy new year sweetie. My amazing action-packed and thrill-filled evening will proceed as follows: stay in, on my own as usual of course, finish reading ,(wow already!), then watch Frozen again (slightly addicted now), have a cup of tea or coffee (who knows, depends how crazy I feel!), then, i may treat myself to watching Ever after. - Sky is my only friend! (thanks sky). At least you get a happily ever after with Disney, and then, um, actually, that's about it.Yes, then going to bed. Anyway Lovely, I hope your evening is at least as wild and crazy as mine. All the nicest, cutest and best wishes to you, from me.x.
This may make u laugh - u cant polish a turd - but, u can roll it in glitter ;-) lol. But jokes aside gota say wen i 1st saw 1 of ur vids i thought u were a model - honest truth! Can relate 2 self hatred etc i feel dat way bout myself- if some1 looks at me i feel lyk they are noticing my ugliness. Neway lyk da nails - always lyked da goth-ier side of tings myself. And nice voice - tell us more bout ur singing, wot happened? Would u consider performing again? Peace and starlight :-)