Ewan McGregor's helicopter parachute jump over the Vatican is one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen, well worth the price of admission. I am laughing even as I write this.
I watched the movie thanks to these reviews and the phrase "parachuting pontiffs" that came up somewhere. I can't tell you how stupider the movie was than I expected
"The first hour is as boring as ever... even though they're doing the running and explaining.. with the less bad haircut, the little bit after that snore inducingly bad..but the last forty minutes are laugh out loud funny."
Antimatter is identical to the matter that we see around us. However, the only difference is that antimatter is oppositely charged. Therefore, when matter and antimatter come into contact with each other they will cancel each other out and thus cause an annihilation. This would produce photons.
Which asks the musical questions - how the HELL do you store it?!?!?!?!??!?!? I know the book comes up with a bit of Using Pym Particles to Reverse the Polarity of the Neutron Dilithium Crystals, but I gather the movie (I tried watching it on cable & nodded off partway through) doesn't do a very convincing job of explaining....
I've seen this film, and Mark is right. The smoke up the chimney bit is proper slapstick and Tom Hanks trying his best to look serious while he's doing it. Its proper mission impossible, we must keep this smoke going up the chimney at all costs. It's hilarious. And that joke at the end of the video was really funny
Who else loves the phrase “intergalactically stupid” and thinks it should be adopted into every lexicon. There’s no question mark after my question because I already know you love it.
@@vivekiyer3840 Aye, it's been alright. I managed to survive the deadly plague that ravaged the Earth. Little did 19-year-old me know what was in store. How about you?
@sulijoo I believe in the book he explains that the anti-matter is being held in place by two opposing magnets or something, and as the canister has been stolen from the CERN labs it had limited battery power for the magnets, and once they ran out, ka-boom etc.
What I meant is that if we had the equivalent mass of anti-matter to matter that would normally be required for a small nuclear weapon (i.e. about a basketball size ball of Uranium 238) the size of the matter/anti-matter explosive would dwarf the nuclear explosion by orders of magnitude. Far more than double or triple the size.
@orwell98 I think its a Bond movie where theres a massive fight going on with everyone on the boat, yet the boat keeps going straight. Hence, who's driving the boat?
Kermode later (or was it earlier) mentioned in a podcast that though A&D was utterly stupid, it was still passably entertaining and alluded that it was not films like this that were pushing him towards retiring from his film critic career but another film called "Bride Wars" or something.
Well, The Da Vinci Code was a fun movie. I especially loved the 100% adorable Audrey Tatou. This sequel, on the other hand, was pure brain rot. Just milking the cow... and the milk was sour.
When anti-matter hits matter they annihilate, the combined mass turning instantly into energy that's orders of magnitude great than an atomic explosion. Just thought I'd clear that up.
For whatever it's worth, I also could not get through the first 40 pages of The DaVinci Code, but I sped through the Angels and Demons book, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
***** Explain? You mean why anti matter would explode? It's in the name. It is anti matter's defining characteristic. When it comes into contact with normal matter it obliterates itself and an equal amount of matter in a nuclear explosion.
I actually quite enjoyed this, it was a bit more pacey & thrilling than The Da Vinci Code. But Mark is right, the accents are bizarre and the plot like something out of Star Trek. Not a classic, but diverting enough.
I feel it quite helpfull to have the plot explained basicly if i'am stupid.... wich I AM. hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahha Simon Mayo is abseloutly brilliant
i agree with him....i was furious after seeing the movie....i couldn't stop ranting for like an hour....i think the only reason they tampered with the story of the book is so that the church wont get offended...and it was funny...the end was shocking and funny!
I watched this treating it more like a Batman or Spiderman film. If you take it for what it is (a load of old non-sense), it's actually quite enjoyable. Agree on the explaining part. But doesn't annoy me too much.
Good review. I loved the book a couple of years ago, as I loved The Da Vinci Code before it, simply by forgetting how silly the whole plot is. It's also amazingly exciting. Trying to realize all this into a movie just won't work since you can actually see and hear how silly it all is. The book at least told the silly story at a decent pace and i was able to go with it. Stuff like this should be read, not seen, as you would believe even less of it.
Classic Kermode. Who's still watching this from the good doctor 11 years on?
ME
I go through these classic videos every few months.
**prequels Obi-wan voice** Hello there
I'm re-watching it just for the sheer joy of a prime Kermodian rant.
me too, this is amazing
Ewan McGregor's helicopter parachute jump over the Vatican is one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen, well worth the price of admission. I am laughing even as I write this.
I watched the movie thanks to these reviews and the phrase "parachuting pontiffs" that came up somewhere. I can't tell you how stupider the movie was than I expected
Dan Brown writes sentences like "The famous man looked at the red cup."
For anyone who thinks this is a joke, the opening sentence of The Da Vinci Code is like this.
'The man's hand hit my nice face'.
Steven “the 75 year old man died a painful death on the green table”
Keith Fraser It is also a Stewart Lee joke.
@@KeithFraser82 I have the book
next to me and it doesn't say that.
"You are a man of great faith. You believe, though you have not seen."
Genius!
This review was so powerful with righteous fury that it revived a man from a coma - I'm not even joking, look it up.
+Andy G I just looked that story up and I still can't believe that it's real.
I think it was The Da Vinci Code review that supposedly brought about a bloke from his coma. He shouts a bit louder in that one.
Chazbot obvious bait
Lol I misread "Trot" as "thot" 😂 my apologies
Thought he was a Christian...
Love Ewan MaGregor's Irish-Polish-Spanish-Russian accent there.
All of them living within a mile of Perth.
As far as I can tell he didn't speak with any accent there.
Bit of American thrown in for a second too.
McGregor obviously got his Italian accent from the same place Bill Scott got his Boris Badenov one.
"The Mullet Of Robert Dingy-Dong", somebody please make that film
"It's Mission Impossible Goes to the Vatican with Star Trek and Thunderbirds thrown In." Genius.
5:52 "Are you saying this is not a true story?"
I unashamedly lol'd like a mofo at that bit
We've got a film review AND a literary critic for the price of one. Brilliant.
'The running and explaining with the less bad haircut' :-D
i would watch angels and demons if Tom Hanks character was called Robert Dingy-Dong
oh, Ewan McGregor's accent is bloody priceless.
I've heard worse Northern Irish accents to be fair, but it's still not great lol
@@petelawd9648 It makes no sense given that he was raised largely in Italy.
Ten years since this review came out and it's still fun to listen to
In that clip Ewan McGregor is still deciding on his accent WHILE delivering his lines!
I live quite near Crieff, where Ewan is from. We all speak like that up here, after six or seven drams.
I love coming back to these reviews to hear Mark's hilariously engaging rants!
Anyone else get a Father Ted vibe from the Ewan McGregor clip with the pictures of the priests and so forth?
He DID kick me up the arse!
"the unknown illuminati master?" has got to be the most cumbersome phrase i've ever heart
"The first hour is as boring as ever... even though they're doing the running and explaining.. with the less bad haircut, the little bit after that snore inducingly bad..but the last forty minutes are laugh out loud funny."
I liked the movie, solely for the fact that we got to see Tom Hanks in a speedo.
“Because the dilitium crystals cannae take it anymore, Captain.” That was slick.
"it is intergalatically stupid" hahahahahaha
Antimatter is identical to the matter that we see around us. However, the only difference is that antimatter is oppositely charged. Therefore, when matter and antimatter come into contact with each other they will cancel each other out and thus cause an annihilation. This would produce photons.
Which asks the musical questions - how the HELL do you store it?!?!?!?!??!?!? I know the book comes up with a bit of Using Pym Particles to Reverse the Polarity of the Neutron Dilithium Crystals, but I gather the movie (I tried watching it on cable & nodded off partway through) doesn't do a very convincing job of explaining....
Listening to your wonderful rant is a lot more interesting than watching the silly movie.
"This movie is so The Thunderbirds" - lol
Still funny 13 years later
I've seen this film, and Mark is right. The smoke up the chimney bit is proper slapstick and Tom Hanks trying his best to look serious while he's doing it. Its proper mission impossible, we must keep this smoke going up the chimney at all costs. It's hilarious. And that joke at the end of the video was really funny
I fuckin love this film , in the future this film will be held up as the zenith of unintentional comedy.
Its pure gold.
I'm in the future. It is.
bless ewan mcgregor, i love him but this monologue is hilarious:D
Any combination of words turns out to be a post punk band. Watch: Dirty Carrot. Canteen Purple. Dog Algebra.
Ambidextrous Whisk
Pleistocene Overkill Hypothesis. Salient Mountain. 27 Hours of North Korean Television.
I thought the 'running and explaining' thing was already done much better in The Terminator.
jaydy71 What about pointing?
@@akash9818 this is great comment, hahahaha, revolutionary pointing concept
I want a Dr. Bob Dingydong mullet for my upcoming adult photoshoot.
Ewan McGregor's accent in this still makes me grin like a madman every time I hear it.
Brilliant!!..the best Kermode rant of all time, cuts me up every time :)
I'm amazed how few views this has had. It's a classic review.
Armin Mueller-Stahl being described as an actor hired to fufill a "non-specifically european character" i just laughed out loud, it's just so true.
Who else loves the phrase “intergalactically stupid” and thinks it should be adopted into every lexicon. There’s no question mark after my question because I already know you love it.
This guy is freaking great. Nobody this right on and entertaining in the states.
"Intergalactically stupid" lol
Put 0:26 on the poster
"Dan Brown is brilliant!" - Mark Kermode, BBC radio 5 Live
Dr Robert dingy dong, always cracks me up
Ditto
I was a bit down today, but this has picked me right up!! The Ewan McGregor clip (6.03) is hilarious...what accent is he using lol
I feel better already, this rant really can create miracles
Nine years later im revisiting this after actually watching the movie
@@ellbo2 how have these 11 years been?
@@vivekiyer3840 Aye, it's been alright. I managed to survive the deadly plague that ravaged the Earth. Little did 19-year-old me know what was in store. How about you?
I've seen these films. Mark Kermode's reviews of Dan Brown films are much more entertaining than the films. And they are a lot shorter.
@sulijoo I believe in the book he explains that the anti-matter is being held in place by two opposing magnets or something, and as the canister has been stolen from the CERN labs it had limited battery power for the magnets, and once they ran out, ka-boom etc.
What I meant is that if we had the equivalent mass of anti-matter to matter that would normally be required for a small nuclear weapon (i.e. about a basketball size ball of Uranium 238) the size of the matter/anti-matter explosive would dwarf the nuclear explosion by orders of magnitude. Far more than double or triple the size.
he is not going to enjoy Tom Hanks is going to be back as Robert Langdon in Inferno in 2015.
+Leo Sylvermann DO NOT WANT
Sudev Sen
The phrase "intergalactically stupid" was used.
@orwell98 I think its a Bond movie where theres a massive fight going on with everyone on the boat, yet the boat keeps going straight. Hence, who's driving the boat?
Ewan McGregor doing a scottish italian
Kermode later (or was it earlier) mentioned in a podcast that though A&D was utterly stupid, it was still passably entertaining and alluded that it was not films like this that were pushing him towards retiring from his film critic career but another film called "Bride Wars" or something.
The crazy thing is Pope Bededict XVI actually had a helicopter pilot's license
The cuts back to an increasingly dumbfounded Simon are gold.
Well, The Da Vinci Code was a fun movie. I especially loved the 100% adorable Audrey Tatou. This sequel, on the other hand, was pure brain rot. Just milking the cow... and the milk was sour.
I believe this is the review that revived a dying man.
This film sounds amazing
"I'm gonna play you another clip." - "Oh good." 😄😅😂
is Ewan McGregor the new Meg Ryan vis a vis piloting helicopters?
Great video. The Da Vinci Code is one of the funniest movies ever made. A&D isn’t as “good” but still a fun ride.
“Its mission impossible going to the vatican”
...but Mission Impossible did go to the Vatican
When anti-matter hits matter they annihilate, the combined mass turning instantly into energy that's orders of magnitude great than an atomic explosion. Just thought I'd clear that up.
For whatever it's worth, I also could not get through the first 40 pages of The DaVinci Code, but I sped through the Angels and Demons book, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
fun that mark alludes to “mission impossible goes to the vatican”, a plotline that was featured in mission impossible 4 a couple of years later!
@ComandoPadentro
No, Kermode is the opposite of pretentious, and that's what makes him great.
Deal with it.
Very well observed by Mayo, Kermode's description was a bit Izzard-esque
@RockBottomRiser21 and you write things said by stewart lee?
where exactly is this sentence? i have searched for it with no success
Film may be stupid, but "why would anti-matter explode?"
That is pretty stupid too.
Because the dilithium crystals "cannot take it anymore."
***** Explain? You mean why anti matter would explode?
It's in the name. It is anti matter's defining characteristic. When it comes into contact with normal matter it obliterates itself and an equal amount of matter in a nuclear explosion.
Hey, Kermode's Doctorate's in English, not Particle Physics!
yeah, your right. I agree :)
I actually quite enjoyed this, it was a bit more pacey & thrilling than The Da Vinci Code. But Mark is right, the accents are bizarre and the plot like something out of Star Trek. Not a classic, but diverting enough.
I feel it quite helpfull to have the plot explained basicly if i'am stupid.... wich I AM. hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahha Simon Mayo is abseloutly brilliant
The plot sounds like something out of the mind of Alan Partridge
i agree with him....i was furious after seeing the movie....i couldn't stop ranting for like an hour....i think the only reason they tampered with the story of the book is so that the church wont get offended...and it was funny...the end was shocking and funny!
Is this the famous miracle rant that helped the guy out of the coma?
Thing is, I rather like the sound of his voice too. So it's clearly just a matter of taste.
I need a laugh... I think I'll have to check this out.
"Intergalactically stupid" lmao
hoping this can save more lifes
Dr Robert Dingydom
“Intergalactically stupid”
0:37-0:46 is just flat out hilarious
I love this review. But I also love this film :)
Only just seen this and Robert dingy dong 🤣
I feel like people who hear this stuff on the radio are missing a lot.
I can't. I fell asleep after about 30 minutes and then deleted the movie, which I'd downloaded. I want to see it again, just for the ending.
and that the illuminatti actually exists.
17 people are still in a coma.
We’re British, not being able to make tea is the end of the world.
Kevin Kline is very good actor, completely under rated in my opinion.
Ewan sounds sometimes like the Eric Liddell character in Chariots of Fire
these da vinci films are great for dozing off to
I remember when kermode was reviewing Atonement he said he'd read and loved the book.
In terms of dumbness Brown takes Mcewan hands down.
sorry, what is exposition?
I watched this treating it more like a Batman or Spiderman film. If you take it for what it is (a load of old non-sense), it's actually quite enjoyable. Agree on the explaining part. But doesn't annoy me too much.
Fiat Lux was also a Swiss cult.. their leader Uriella sold holy healing water, which turned out to be bath water..
No mention of Tom Hanks in a speedo?
Good review. I loved the book a couple of years ago, as I loved The Da Vinci Code before it, simply by forgetting how silly the whole plot is. It's also amazingly exciting. Trying to realize all this into a movie just won't work since you can actually see and hear how silly it all is. The book at least told the silly story at a decent pace and i was able to go with it. Stuff like this should be read, not seen, as you would believe even less of it.
He got through more of The DaVinci Code more than I did, I couldn't get through twenty pages of that literary excrement.
@SweetMintPie555 Explanation.
That's 10 minutes you will never get back. How does that feel?