Decluttering regrets that keep me up at night
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- An underlying fear when we decide to simplify our homes..."What if I end up regretting getting rid of this?" My answer? Yep! There's things I regret. But, I think there's a better question to ask ourselves... "Is the regret worth it?" Today's video I give you my top three decluttering regrets and what I've learned from them.
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Joshua Becker quote: / c4oqdblsglo
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whenever my husband is looking for something his first question is „did you declutter it“😂 then I panic for a Moment and have to think🙈
Haha 😂 been there
SAME! I am often irritated and feel a sense of guilt when my husband says, "You threw it away didn't you." I have learned to double ask him before I get rid of things that he may have a vested interest in. We also have a place on the kitchen island that I put things that are his and ask him weekly to go thru them. If he doesn't, he knows I will get rid of it. Basically we had to train each other.🤣
Omg, yes!!
Through the decluttering process I let go of not just things, but toxic thoughts, identity and fantasy ideas that were actually holding me back in a new season of life, and fears of all kinds. What entered into my life was a freedom I never imagined, peace, embracing the “unknown” with hope instead of anxiety, confidence to make decisions, resourcefulness, and creativity. In a million years I never thought there would be such a transformation in my thought life through the process of minimalism. I keep thinking of Phillipians 4:8 “whatsoever things are noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy-think on these things.” By removing the clutter, you remove the distractions, opening your life to the infinite possibilities that only the BEST remains.
Sounds wonderful ❤
Well said!!
For me, when something is given to me, it's no longer theirs. I had to deal with this type of thing for most of my life with my mother.
Well said!
I agree! When I give something away, it’s that person’s thing to do with as they wish. Anything to the contrary is just a way of trying to exert control. Also, things are only “worth” what someone is willing to pay for them. We all tend to over-value what we own.
I truly agree. It’s awful to come back after the fact and be upset that someone got rid of a gift because of just that - you literally gave the thing away. You have no right to it anymore. It’s not yours.
I agree, I deal with this with my sister in law…
Though, if it was a long time family piece that was given to me or my husband we do usually offer it to anyone in the family to see if anyone wants it before we get rid of it.. but we don’t offer it back specifically to the person who gave it to us. Otherwise we get rid of things how we wish, but have awkward situations occur with the SIL.
I am chronically ill, disabled. What you said really resonates with me: we are minimalists because we whole heartedly believe the trade off is worth the benefit and peace. It took us only a few months of organizing, decluttering, purging etc to see the beauty in minimalism. It freed up more of my time to focus on my health needs vs stressing over a clean house etc…We have been living this lifestyle for close to a decade and on a regular basis still reevaluate our possessions and priorities. Having my health stripped away from me has been a rude awakening, but also it’s what jump started our priority shift and minimalism journey. I have no regrets at this point (once the financial guilt was worked through). Minimalism has given me back freedom! ❤❤
I went from a stuffed-to-the-brim home to minimalism a little over ten years ago, and decluttering is still a daily habit. I’ve very rarely regretted getting rid of something, maybe five or ten times. All of those times I turned out to need the item a few weeks later, and somehow managing anyway. Because like you said, that’s what we do. We can borrow, we can buy a new one, we can do without. Most often it’s been the latter for me.
And even if I needed to re-buy something, if it cost me several hundred dollars, at this point it would still be worth it for me. I’ve had ten years of peace in my home. That’s worth more than money can buy.
This point you made about how you didn’t think you had to sacrifice in any area, that’s so so insightful and I really relate! For me specifically, I always think I can do it all and during an especially busy period I hit a wall and realized I can do it all, but at what cost? Not enjoying any of it? So that’s really when I made the decision to choose my joy and peace of mind over things and shopping and trends and spending my time off cleaning and organizing and being stressed. WOW was it worth it.
I have been given a number of family pieces over the years. Loads of dishes, furniture, etc. if no one else wanted these sacred items, then why do I have to keep them all?! So I’ve decluttered some things and held on to things I liked. Instead of 12 place settings I now have 4. At first I felt guilty, but now there is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I can’t remember if it was you who said it or not, but the saying was something like the past generations who hand things down just walked into a store and bought things they liked. We don’t need to hold on to their purchases forever! I can’t imagine passing down a vase from Target to my grandchildren some day!
Haha, that definitely wasn't me who said that, but it's a good point!
😂😂😂❤
I brought home many things when my parents moved to a retirement home and then when they died. After a few years, I purged most of the Christmas decor. A year later, I was hunting for my mom’s lighted Christmas tree. When I couldn't find it, I was sure I just didn't come across the box. When the next year came and we pulled out every single holiday box and still couldn't find it, I knew I had accidentally donated it that one year. The craxy thing is that not long after Christmas that year, I had seen a base and almost bought it, but said to myself, “You don't need that.” this Christmas, my husband gave me a tree made from the same mold and while it isn't my mom’s, I cherish it. I don't miss a single other thing I donated that year. I was ready and iy was time. I definitely missed the tree. Generally, I like a lot and don't want to be a minimalist. But I also know I have a bit too much and would love my things more if I had less things.
I just love your honesty ❤
Love your honesty! It’s so refreshing. I completely agree that while we might occasionally regret decluttering an item, the freedom and benefits of minimalism far outweigh the negatives. I decluttered my food processor only to need it 2 weeks later for a recipe . I found a used one for $10. I could have found another way to mix the chick peas ( I was making falafel). In the end, all was fine. 😅Thanks for this video! ❤❤❤
Haha! That's a great example.
Yours so calm and beautifully honest. You have taught me so much and im an old lady..lol.. I will try and be more respectful in my home too. Love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx
This is by far my favorite video you have done, dear friend. I just love you.
Wow, thank you! :)
Appreciating and relating to these perspectives, incl re de-cluttering, PC and "sorry."
I just realized that, somewhere in the 30+ years interim, I had actually forgotten how my minimalism was, from the start, inexorably inspired by my own Peace Corps experience.
It may also relate to my recent mix of feelings around de-cluttering or, more accurately, getting rid of 90+% in my house as I get ready--with daughter well into college--to try living abroad. (Most of the stuff was left by my Mom from the few years she lived with us.)
RE "sorry," for me it's been more of the opposite where, according to my daughter's feedback so far, I've been overly cautious (and sentimental) about getting rid of her left-behind things.
(On a less important side note, I think it's always important to keep in mind the distinction between a "sorry" and an amends. I.E. Two different sorts of opportunities, each with their place.)
Yes love the message of this video. I absolutely have had regret decluttering items but it’s totally worth it. I’ve enjoyed my little kids so much more because I don’t feel overwhelmed at home. I have more ability to focus and energy to give my kids!
Love that!
Your dad maybe should have told you it was worth a lot of money. I tell my kids about anything of value I have or give them.
That definitely would’ve helped! He and I both learned an important lesson on that one.
I thought the same thing as well
And I wonder, was it worth a lot of money or did he pay a lot of money for it? Because there’s a difference. Nothing drove that point home for me more clearly than when I decluttered and sold my photo studio equipment. What I got for it was a small fraction of what I bought it for. No regrets! That stuff taking up space was just clutter and no longer adding value to my life.
This was a very helpful vlog, thank you. I ,too, have experienced some small regrets after decluttering and have had to re-buy, and then sometimes re-declutter, some items. Many times I have found that regret is a transient, minor discomfort. I guess letting go has helped me to learn to sit with discomfort and to learn to live with less. Having and needing less has given me more peace in this way, more time to do the things I want to do such as to spend more time with my children and grandchildren. We are working towards downsizing to a small apartment so that we can be closer and more available to our children. I am also learning to let go of concerns about what people will think of me. I go out into the world as I am and now rarely wear makeup now, despite sometimes looking a bit scruffy or tired. I feel more comfortable entertaining people at home because our home is easy to keep clean and I have become better at not needing to keep up with standards set by others.
I love that! Letting go definitely forces us to sit with discomfort. It's an excellent practice that helped me to build a lot of resilience. And, on the one hand it taught me to be more cautious with consuming, but more brave in other areas of life.
First step to simplify your life is to buy less. Second, you use whatever you have then get rid of extra items.
Oof, your comments near the end about connecting with your Creator and finding peace had me misting up a little. Always love your videos for your wonderful insight born from your Christian worldview. God bless!
Thank you! God bless!
Calm, time, peace is so much more valuable to our wellbeing. I donated most of my mom framed art she gifted and later found out they were worth a significant amount of money; however they were ugly so I didn't regret it at all. Apparently when you see #4 of 20 or whatever number it means something. I don't touch my husbands things, I lead by example and I ask my kids first and over the years it makes me proud that they do their own decluttering.
Excellent example with the art piece!
Such important insights in this video ❤
Quentin would never notice if i got rid of half his clothes 😂
Hahaha!
I really began making progress when I let go of the oversized and misfit furniture in our small home some of which were antiques and passed down from family. That was when my home actually began to feel simpler and I chose a new dining table that fit even though it meant letting go of an heirloom oak table from my childhood or an antique secretary. I’ve never looked back and holding on to things because of other people’s feelings is not a good way to live because there’s never a limit or boundary to what people might want/expect you to keep.
Such a good point!
I applaud you mentioning the husbands clothes thing. I learned that lesson long ago and it was a hard pill to swallow. I still get blamed for anything that is on the lamb or missing.
I still reminisce, day dream, and long for, a set of black lounge chairs I used to own from my grandmother. Made in the late 50s and we’re eliminated when we moved into a travel trailer. Of all the things that were left behind, those chairs haunt me.
LOL< I'm definitely still the one that gets blamed when things go "on the lamb."
Another fantastic video. 🙂
I have benefited from decluttering my home with less stress, more time, more space, improved sleep, better relationships, and it reduces decision fatigue. Have a wonderful day. 🙂
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
I've been able to simplify my daily routines. I have more time to waste, if I want to, because there isn't a long list of pressing to-dos. I have more time for spiritual reflection, reading, cooking and baking.
YES! All these things are so wonderful and fulfilling.
Excellent video. You relate so well to all of us that desire to live an uncluttered, simpler life. I am about to turn 65 so am speaking for this age group!
As far as the bed frame, often “things” aren’t worth as much as we think they are.
Excellent point!
How ironic or is it kismet that I’m watching this video while I rearrange / Declutter my closet. I will have to send you a video of my closet how it is it is insane. But that’s besides the point, as I am going through my clothes I keep wanting to get rid of some items And every now and then it’s like “ but no I wore this on this special day” and or on the day we got engaged or I wore this for my bridal shower or I wore this for our engagement photo shoot or I wore this for our first date in Connecticut and it just never ends….. and the back-and-forth between sentimentality and practicality is where I find myself most days. Most of these clothes don’t fit but I cannot bring myself to get rid of them. I feel like if I get rid of them I am getting rid of a piece of our history, which is not true, but I feel like that. I am however successful in that I have already filled up a bag of 20 clothes which will be dropped off at Goodwill today, but I totally understand and resonate with everything you said in this video. Miss you, my friend!
I just saw a tip for this - take a picture of you wearing that outfit before getting rid of it. 😊
Definitely kismet! :) Another option is to set aside those clothes (or maybe just one piece of the outfit) in a sentimental bin. That way you don't have to keep them in your closet. Clothes that don't fit and aren't real options anymore can weigh us down when we're getting dressed. But, sentimental memories are worth preserving (at least a few).
Great video…I am very intentional when taken things from people most time I refuse because I know in the end I have lived without it and so I don’t need it 😊❤️
Well said!
Thank you for being so honest! This was super helpful.
You're so welcome!
Great message❤😊❤❤❤
Thank you!