I ;am an empty nester and have been for about three years. I devoted the first 20+ years of my marriage to raising the children and focusing on their needs. I feel that I have entered phase 2 of my life and can now focus on my career and time with my husband. We travel more, mostly to visit our kids, but also enjoy quiet evenings at home. I think that planning for this phase is a great idea and can help you decide what you want to get out of this time when you can shift your focus onto yourself and your husband. It’s a great time!
As my oldest was preparing to go off to college I had another child so there was no time to think about being an empty nester. I was excited that my daughter was happy to have that college experience and she came home every weekend. I remember standing in the middle of the street waving goodbye with tears running down my face. It was hard letting my child leave, but I am grateful for the young woman that she became. She is happily married and they bought a home over a year ago. After 34 years of working I retired, I set many goals for myself in my new phase of life. I survived having the home I grew up in gutted and remodeled and at the same time had a total knee replacement. I have cleared out and donated most of my clothing and heels. I have gotten rid of so much that I no longer use or need. I agree that when you organize your home it makes life less complicated. My son is at the community college and lives with us, he works after school and is on his way to becoming a responsible young adult. I still have many dreams to travel, but I am the happiest around my children.
I so appreciate this video! My son is in middle school, but the empty nest is definitely looming! Instead of getting blindsided by the inevitable, this helps me look at all of the possibilities! Thanks Marnie, for helping me embrace that road looming ahead. Or perhaps, someday sooner than I realize, beckoning!
Two of our 5 kids are adults. Still have three more boys to raise. Was married 23 years. My whole life changed when my husband died. No one plans to become a widow in their early 40s. No clue what my life will be or what I even want (besides my husband back). We always talked about when finally empty-nesters after raising a large family, but I dread what it will be now.
I am 58 and an empty-nester for several years and have now gone through menopause. I highly recommend TH-camr Menopause Taylor, a gynocologist . While she is very quirky, she gives excellent information and explanation on all things menopause. She breaks information down in laymen terms. While there are many things I miss about a house full of children, I make a choice to look at the positives - lower food and electricity bills, a house that requires less cleaning, I don't have to rush home after work to take someone to an activity, my weekends are my own, my budget is my own. As a single mom, there was rarely time to do things for me. Now I have joined a local opera company, and a local chorale, volunteer, and travel. I enjoy the quiet and equally enjoy when they all come to visit. Where I struggle is being more physically active because I hate exercise. My goal of 2019 is to walk 4 - 5 days a week. I plan on working at least 12 more years but I already know I have to have a plan in place for how I will fill my days.
I am in the same boat as of two weeks ago. I have done weight training for around 20 years ... I would recommend it to feel strong and toned. We need to support each other!
Marnie, I am in my 60's, a widow with two sons (one of whom passed away this year from illness). Live every day to the fullest. Time passes so quickly. My husband developed early onset Alzheimers in his early 60s -totally unexpected. We did not have these retirement years to do things together as we had expected. Don't put off going places, doing things. However, do save your money also because illness can strike so quickly. You might think of Long Term Health insurance. It does not take very long if a person is put into assisted living/dementia care/ nursing home to deplete your savings. God bless you as you enter this new stage of life!
If we're talking about the realities of life changes, it's important to keep the old saying, "Man plans, God laughs" in mind. While you're planning date nights and trips, the unthinkable might happen. Your spouse might die. It happened to me right after I became an empty nester, and I hadn't planned for that. We were too young. We had things to do and we finally had the time to do them. What happens then? What will you do? Find out where all the important paperwork is. Find out how to do all the things your husband routinely takes care of. Make a living will. Tuck those plans away in a drawer and hope you won't need them for a very long time, but have them. Enjoy these years, but plan for everything.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that and lose your husband. You give really good advice. Since I am a planner, we do have all that prepared already. Another tip is to make sure you know all the passwords to the online accounts!
@@MsGoldgirl Excellent advice! I didn't, and that was a mess. I also didn't know where the key to safe deposit box was. Thank you, Marnie. This was a wonderful topic, and I would love to see more videos like this.
Retiring, I’ve work shift work for the last 40 years. Everyone else’s emergencies were my priorities. Oh NO! Now what? I never wanted to be a housewife, BUT I love it! Yes, in the last 6 months I’ve organized 95% of my small condo (1500 sqft) and I’m working to streamline everything in my life! Great goals Marnie. You may find that you really don’t have as much time as you think - I think I’m busier now then when I was raising a family, working full time, and attempting to keep a house. There is always something to do, I’m trying to start focusing more on ME, eating healthy, losing weight, and exercising more. I’m getting a paper calendar book and I’m going to make a schedule!! But, this time ME 1st! And, I agree with you MsGoldgirl DATE NIGHTS/DAYS/ETC are going to be written down! I have 4 months until my husband retires, and then the real planning begins!
I did NOT plan for the little things and I was completely lost! I am also a widow, so my nest was totally empty. I didn't know how to fill up my days, what to eat or how to shop for just one person. Spent my days off work staring at the dogs and crying. Groceries spoil and how do you cook for one? I ate Froot Loops with coffee creamer for a week straight. I had all these things I planned to do when the kids left home but couldn't think of a single thing. I wanted to travel but day to day life must go on ... work, chores, pets. And your nest may be empty but not your friends... so you don't rank high on their priority list. I planned the big things like down size,sell my home of 21 yrs, move closer to my job, which I managed to accomplish in a year, but it's the little things that you don't even think about that really get you. Im 2 yrs in, still adjusting. My best advice, invent things to fill in for the little things ... the gaps of time in day to day life. For me (esp after the move) it was home decor no longer has to be functional ... that white furniture and bedding I always wanted is practically maintenance free and Get a hobby... I can refinish furniture like a pro and own most of the tools to do so! Great Topic!
Most of my life I have been a planner. Turned 60 (ugg, still hate that number) this month. The last several years my "planning" was disrupted by life. Spent 5 years in a lot of pain (hip injury, 4 surgeries, multiple invasive tests/procedures). My hip finally healed and I was moving on, then I fell and broke my humerus, which required surgery and back to physical therapy. What I'm trying to say is sometimes things happen that disrupt your plans, don't let it get you down, just make new plans! Thanks for this video.
This made me think of the goals I made when I retired after working for 50 years! Didn't have time to do this when I became an empty nester, as we were in the midst of running a business and working like crazy. Menopause came for me (at around 56) with absolutely no side effects - so hope the same is true for you! As a working wife/mother (with a very 50's style husband) I was always very organized, with cupboards/drawers/clothes pared down to a minimum so didn't need to do that. It's good that you and Michael seem to be on the same page, as this will help you achieve and keep some of the goals you set. What I said on Instagram about not planning too much, is so that you don't feel disappointed when things don't go exactly as you had hoped. Let life happen a little too! Until your boys are living away from your home (not at college) I don't think you will really feel like an empty nester! Good luck with it all - make as much of it happen as you can while you still have the energy and health. Someone else asked if you have parents that figure into your planning - I'm curious too!
Great video. I’m a football mom too, my son is just a freshman but I know the next years will fly by. Planning is a great idea - I can see that we will need to schedule our social life more proactively. I teach music in a preschool so my days are full of learning and energy but the evenings and weekends will need a full restructuring!
Timely topic. My 19 year old is living at home. But between school and his job and his own social life, his schedule is very much his own. My husband and I are working on redefining our normal.
You are really wise to plan for this next stage. We've been empty nesters for a few years now. We also had a cross-country move for my husband's career at the beginning of this stage. It was very difficult to find new friendships without the automatic connection that children provide. I'm still figuring out who I want to be now (learning photography is next on my list!), but I will say that we're enjoying this time immensely! It is so much fun to "date" my husband again. We are having a blast!
Marnie this is a fabulous topic for you to explore. My husband and I looked so forward to this stage and had great plans. The first year we were empty nesters he suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. So I find myself as both an empty nester and a widow. Talk about a life change!!! I would love to hear from anyone else out there in my same position. xo
Great video! I'm a soon to be empty nester of 7 kids and I'm a bit lost. I stayed home with all my kids so becoming an empty nester is def intimidating!
Wow! From a busy household of seven, I can only imagine how crazy it was. My boys are 16 and 19, I started worrying about empty nest when they asked to go for sleep overs when they were younger! I know, I am worrier. The step I took was to start doing what I always wanted to do, having conversations around difficult topics so I started my own TH-cam channel. Definitely keeps me busy. You too will find what makes you happy. Good luck and remember, you got this!
I’m 47, I’m also wondering about menopause, simplifying my life, and keeping my body healthy - I’m excited to watch your video regarding this topic! ❤️
My 18 year old son starts an internship next year. In South Africa, the new school year starts in January, so he was our baby of 5 children. He's just moved into our flatlet on our property, and I was feeling anxious for what to do next year. I started a TH-cam channel, but not really sure what to do and where to go with it, but definitely going to work on that in the year to come. I am excited to finally pursue some of my own interests. I'm in my early 50's so still have many years ahead, and totally agree with you regarding keeping on learning new things. My mother passed away a month ago, and that has hugely impacted my life. Thank you for an uplifting channel. Excited to see where you will be going with it in the new year... Belinda xo
Hi Marnie, I’ve been an empty nester for quite some time. About the same time my two daughters left for college both sets of parents passed away, so I went from being in the “sandwich” generation to us being empty nesters, and we were sports parents too. I had my first child at twenty-four, so of course I was lost at first, but I was still working then which filled my time. I soon found activities that I wanted to do-working out and yoga and I have met extremely close friends now through that. Best advice is be open to change and new opportunities, I’ve done half marathons, biked, taken Italian lessons and cooking lessons. We’ve traveled and camped in Denali NP. Now I have three grandsons and enjoy doing things with them, life definitely is different but still great!
As a recent empty nester, I too was planning and thinking ahead before my son went out of state off to college.The one thing that hit me that I didn’t expect and didn’t plan for was the loss of being a mom in the every day aspect. I was a sports mom, who was very involved as well and I definitely think the first few months are tough. I definitely was a little depressed and tried to keep pushing by purging the house, organizing, and trying to act like everything was great! Let yourself go through those emotions. By Thanksgiving, I would say I felt much better. Now, I am enjoying the quiet time, less cooking, date nights! It also helps to know that my son is doing well and is really loving his college choice and is thriving.
Marnie, I NEEDED this today! Soon to be an empty nester with our one and only this fall. I am already feeling gutted at the thought. I could hear the emotion in your voice. But I love your attitude and plan and I will follow suit! Going to get a planner and start planning. Going to be HARD. Thanks for sharing with all of us!💐❤️
Hi Marnie, I have also been an empty nester for some time. I think you are wise to plan for it. I was excited for it but without specific plans I drifted a bit. No amount of planning will fill the void created by the lack of young people in your house and you just have to emotionally prepare yourself for that. The wonderful thing is that your relationship with your children will change - you now have the freedom to become a mentor to children and you will eventually become friends with them. It's quite an interesting phase - enjoy it!
One of the things that I would like to open up as a topic is the fact that being an empty Nester also has a revolving door! Yes they all leave and go to college if that’s been the goal that was set in your family but they come back every semester every summer then they graduate and they come back and live with you for a while or you’re helping them get located someplace so now your funds are going towards that. Empty Nester is not a fixed way of life it really isn’t! My last child just purchased her own condo so technically she is out and NOW we are Empty Nesters so just be warned that that the cycle of getting your children completely on their own can be a long road and the fantastic ideas you(me and hubby) have been put on hold SO MANY TIMES and it becomes very important to reassess and re-establish them at varying times. Thanks for opening up this topic Marnie!!!
This video is on point with me. I have one in college and within the next three years the others will also be in college. I truly dread it. I love being a mom and although some days are overwhelming I don’t look forward to them leaving. My husband and I will have to reinvest in our relationship. My grandmother lived to the age of 99. A few years before she died I asked her what was the best period of her life. Without hesitation she replied, when all five of my kids were home with us. The one thing I won’t miss though is the laundry...who ever thought white pants are a good idea for sports.
My youngest leaves for the Navy in June and I got divorced this past June. This is so my stage of life right now! Thank you! I’ve been trying to figure out who am I again and this helped so much! I’m writing my goals down as we speak!
My son is 11 and is currently on a 2 week summer camp so this video made me realise that I am getting a taste of wjat empty nest is all about. Thank-you for this video @marnie
I honestly don't feel being an empty nester is a big issue for couples like you and Michael. You have worked on your relationship thru the years. You have continued having a life as a couple. (Good for you!) The problem is with couples that have made their life ONLY about their children because that is the only thing that has held them together. That is actually a problem when you get to this point in life. Unfortunately, I fall into this category. So yes, this should be a lesson to all those 30 year olds…..put your husband/wife/relationship first...the kids do eventually leave and then there are two people looking at each other thinking.....NOW WHAT? I don't even know you. Good topic, Marnie. All ages can learn from this IF they will listen.
As a "young" mom of an 11 yr old and a 5 yr old I often think of how quickly having an empty nest will come. I fear that my little babies will be gone before we know it and wonder how I will survive without being an active mother in their extra curricular activities, etc.. I hear other moms just counting down the days and I cannot relate to them at all. Does the fear ever subside? I love the idea of being knowledgeable of your future, so thank you for bring that to the forefront. Your confidence and excitement has eased the idea of "being allll alone." Did you feel that way at all when your boys were younger?
@Nikita Embree I have a 10 & 14 year old & it really does go by quick. I also get that pain in my heart when I think about them growing up & moving on. I think if we start now focusing on ourselves & things we enjoy (when there's time) during those "Mom years", we won't completely lose our identity. Just know you're not alone & our main job is to teach our kids independence & being self sufficient. We should pat ourselves on the back when they do become well rounded adults! Hang in there, luckily we still have time!
A long time ago I learned the phrase “bloom where you’re planted”. Basically, enjoy where you are, because if you’re pining for the past or looking toward the future, you’re missing out on where you are now!! That mentality has really helped me a lot!
My husband and I are at this stage as well. Our daughter will be heading off to college in August 2019. She is an only child and the light of our lives. She is not only my daughter but we are best friends. We are a very close family. I am so excited for her and look forward to this new chapter in her life and ours, but gosh, sometimes I just break down and cry! It seems like time has flown by and I find myself asking, "where did the time go?" I too am setting goals for 2019 and trying to stay focused on all the new and exciting things that will be happening. We have wonderful memories but I know that new memories are going to be made as well. Thank you Marnie for this video. Sometimes it is just good to hear someone else talk about their situation and what they are doing.
Melinda Mueller I have a son going to college in 2020 also only child Seems like you now have a year under your belt. Any advise on how you have coped? I need any help I can get. The thought of it makes me very sad. Indiana Davis
I went through that life change a few years ago after raising four kids. I still had other things I did but it still hurt my heart. Now I have two grandchildren who live close to me and it's the best thing in the world. There's a silver lining in every stage of life.
I’m still in the busy sports parent years and I love hearing about your goals as you move into empty nest years. I feel like I’m always recalibrating and trying to keep balanced. This is motivating me to write down my goals for the year.. one is to quit saying “I’m so busy” or complaining about being super busy, I just need to suck it up and get on with things.
Great ideas!! I share the goals you mentioned but haven't been very organized about achieving them since retiring. This new series will be an enormous help! Thank you!
I'm so happy you did this video! This is a long comment so I hope you hang in here! 😀 Mine are 17 and 14. My oldest has made me realize that they really will leave one day and so I've begun preparing a couple things. I've been a sahm for about 9 years. Sooo, I decided to go to college! I know I'll need a job eventually and I'm not willing to settle for minimum wage anymore. I felt so much support from this video and it just confirms a lot of thoughts I've had lately. And thank you for reminding us to research our health. I'm 42 and am experiencing menapause now and I need to do some more research on the subject. I do have a video request tho. Could possibly do one on the dynamics of sports moms? Just things like how you start mom meetings to get to know each other and such. My son has played baseball since he was 5, every year a different team. He's the 14 yr old and he has the opportunity to try out for school baseball next month. I'm not the best planner but I would like to get to know the moms since we may potentially be together every year until our boys graduate. How can I start something similar to the Polish and Prayer that you partook of? I live in a small town where people tend to be very stand-offish and I don't want to be overbearing. Thanks Marnie for all you put into your videos, you'll never know the positive impact you've had on my life as I've been a subscriber for about 6-7 years now.
Good morning! Great ideas! As a new empty nester, I can say it’s not what I expected. I was a little more sad than I expected. I identified myself as a mom as one of my main “jobs” & when you aren’t needed in the same way, it was sad to me. I thought I would have so much free time when actually I seemed busier than when kids were here. Can’t understand how I did it all. Whatever your experiences will be, enjoy every second!!
Like you, I was a sports mom for over 20 years. Not only through little league and high school but we’d drive 4 hrs nearly every fall and spring weekend for my son’s college games. The dread I felt when that was ending was real! And guess what, I was fine. “Mourned” a little bit and then moved on. Planning is great but don’t over plan. Because, as the saying goes, we plan/God laughs. There are things in life we can’t control and it behooves us to allow for the unknown. Same goes for menopause. Knowledge is power but we are all very different in how we will experience it. You’re more likely to have hot flashes if your mom did than if I did! You get it. Your foresight and planning is admirable and by all means have things to look forward to. But as I sit here waiting for my 29 and 32 yr olds to arrive for Christmas, I can say without a doubt that at least half of what I thought would be, wasn’t. And the other half is even better than I could have expected!
I'm 31 and my husband is 36, not middle aged quite yet, BUT we have no kids and no plans to. I thought this was a great video, the need for us to focus on what we want to accomplish and be specific I think is great advice! Especially in planning ways to spend time with each other. It's so easy to say "This night is date night" and then you don't know what to do so you end up in front of the tv not interacting. So having ideas, great and small, is something I hope to work on! Our current goal and activity together is showing our two Kerry Blue Terriers and hope to become breeders one day. They are our kids. :)
Yes! This was so refreshing and encouraging since there seems to be a shortage of youtubers in this season of life. I'd love more like this! Thanks for sharing!
once u raised children,i think the best thing u learn is how to value time and not waste it, it is priceless so what ur doing now i think ,planning will serve u well. i am 75 and planning my life is still a very important and fun tool for a good life.
Hi Marnie! I had to stop and comment before I finished watching this vudeo. Your content today is so ON POINT!!! I'm loving this! Thanks so much for taking the time and making this video! You're the B O M B!! Ok i'l continue to watch now. :)
i'm looking forward to your journey Marnie. All good goals and planning in your future. I joined a gym and exercise is one of my big goals as I age. xoxo
I love all your ideas! I was blessed to have a daughter at age 40 (I’m 49 now) and I think you should set goals for yourself at any age. Whether it’s getting out of debt, traveling more, doing more things you enjoy so you have more balance. I may need to dust off my journal and start writing things down. Thanks, Ms. Goldgirl!! And Happy Belated Hanukkah! ❤️
Very wise of you Marnie to plan ahead for this new stage in life. It can be a challenging time and an emotional roller coaster. I think it’s a fabulous time to further your knowledge and creative spirit. Some say it’s a time for rebirth. Looking forward to sharing your journey 💕
I'm 47. My children are 21, 18, and 13. Although it will be a few years before my youngest starts to think about moving out, I know that they are all starting to develop their own interests and think about their own adult lives. I like how you discussed having goals and plans for your own future self. I took a 200-hour yoga teacher training a few years ago; I feel that was a step toward investing in my own future self and beginning to explore my own interests again. It's a journey. Some of it feels a little heartbreaking, (i.e., kids leaving home!)-but your video reminds me that there are amazing positive aspects to this phase. 🙏🏾💖
I'm 23 and this is relevant because I just finished graduate school and likewise need to plan how to stay in touch with people, and how to fill my time in general since I don't have the structure of university anymore!
After 40 years of nursing, I am retiring in 2019, so this is a topic I am very interested in. My career has been a huge focus in my life and now I have to find a new focus and plan what I am going to do with my "new" life. You are so right about women tasking care of themselves last, as I sit here realizing I did not see my Gyn yet this year! Not good and taking care of that today! Looking forward to more content from you Marnie.
I really enjoyed this video as I am at this stage in life. Being an empty nester at first is absolutely no fun at all, in fact it feels like abandonment lol...completely ridiculous I know but it is like a dagger to the heart when your kids appear to be happier elsewhere than at home. Having a big hole where the kids sport use to be is very strange and unnerving. Thanks for shedding light on this often overlooked stage. At the moment it is horrible but I am hoping as time goes on it will become a great new chapter.
That's how I felt at first too. It does get better, but you have to be intentional about making it better. Make new goals, find new hobbies, get involved in community. I promise it will get better and you will be proud of the independent adults you have raised that are doing great on their own.
I still feel a bit like that...after my son graduated from college, started working, and then “The Wedding!!”...that’s when I really felt abandoned- my husband is still working, and I am not, but other things like a new grandchild ☺️💕-and keeping busy, and then there is the care of elderly parents...yes, and some trips and a new pet...all of these things keep you going through the ups and downs! I have to say, though, raising my son, and all through the college years were the Best Times, but life goes on and you find other activities to enable you to move on and you have wonderful memories, too 💕❤️💕🤗
So excited for you!😆 I have been an empty Nester now for three years. I can tell you that your investment and intentionality with your husband being your best friends is going to really pay off now. Like yourselves my husband and I have always made our relationship the first priority and now that we are empty nesters we are absolutely loving this new season of life. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely loved being a stay home mom but now we get to enjoy the fruits of our hard work and watching our children be great adults. And then the grandchildren started coming and oh my goodness, amazing!!! I was shocked at the divorce rate in this season of life which breaks my heart because I can’t imagine doing this season of life alone. Planning, growing, and being intentional with this season is just important than ever before.❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
I know you aren't a huge fan of exercising. I don't like jarring activities myself. I also prefer not to sweat a lot while exercising:) Since you might have room upstairs when the boys are gone, I think you should consider purchasing a Pilates Reformer. I have have done Pilates for 21 years and it has helped with my joint issues and to maintain a strong core. I like the resistance exercises the machine provides over the mat exercises you do on the floor. It is a really comfortable way to exercise. You can make it as intense of a workout as you like. I am on my second machine and probably looking at buying a third. My son wants to take mine back to college next year when he moves into a condo. You can buy them on QVC or from the makers of the machine Stamina Products. I have a freshman in college and a freshman in high school. So not quite an empty nester. I am excited to see what topics are on the horizon for your channel. Loving the makeup today.
We are new empty nesters as of a year ago. There are things that you don't even think about like learning to cook for two, finding time for your self, etc. I started crafting and fond new hobbies and, for him, going back to old ones. Then there is a time they do come back. It's nice for a short period of time. But it doesn't always go smoothly. So there needs to be a contingent plan if they move back home.
Thank you for this video. I think this is a great avenue to go down. I enjoy watching how you are evolving and changing through the milestones. I turned 40😁 this year and have 5 & 7 yr old kiddos. My youngest will be in full-time school next year. I have been an at-home Mom for almost a decade. Like you, I love being able to watch the growth and just be there for my kids. They have been my life. I am equally excited to begin this new stage of life with more time for myself (new career, health/fitness, to process a complete thought without distraction). Planning is key. Even though it has been a struggle with time and finances, I have been taking classes now to support my new career in the (near) future. Because life doesn't come with a how-to book, it is nice to connect with others willing to share.
I'm 62 and have been by myself for a while. It is nice but at times extremely quiet. You are right in everything your saying. Planning is always a good idea. Make a list of things you want to do and see. Then the important thing is to do what's on the list. Have fun is the ultimate goal. You are still young and so many fun things to do. Enjoy planning and doing and having fun. ❤
Love that you are sharing this now, while my husband and I are still a little ways away from an empty nest, many of the ideas that you shared, are good to put into practice now, so that the routine is there, and an easy transition can be made when the nest is empty.
This was great. Anytime you can plan or take some sense of control of a situation, you feel empowered. I'm looking forward to more videos like this! I'm excited for you, Marnie!
I am also becoming an empty nester in 2019 and many of the things you mentioned are also on my list! Looking forward to your upcoming content on any/all of these topics.
Thank you for the video! The quiet empty nest takes me back to before I had a child when I didn’t know what to do with myself! I can really plan out projects and hobbies that I’ve been really wanting to work on.
I've been watching beauty/lifestyle videos for a long time and I have *never* come across a video on preparing for becoming an empty nester. I'm going to be, knock on wood, sending my youngest off to university next year. It's surreal. I became a mom when I was 20 and pretty much my entire adult life has been entirely focused on the family. A few years ago my marriage broke down, so I suppose in a weird way I've already had some experience with fundamental changes to family. But I am really nervous about the impending reality of not seeing any of my kids on a daily basis. I've gone back to university to finally find myself a career, but at the back of my mind I still feel like a mom first. It's going to be such a period of adaptation next year. Bit of a ramble; thank you for this video. The solidarity is very much appreciated.
Oh man did this bring back memories. You're handling it way better than I did! I'm a widow and was a super involved Mom, and when my kids both graduated HS, felt like I'd been abruptly thrown off a fast moving train. My older daughter (24) attended a local collage, but my younger daughter (22) is a senior at a university 7 hours away. I thought my heart would break when she left. In fact, I handled it so badly before her HS graduation, that her college counselor called me in for a "little talk." Lol. She'd been accepted to all 11 schools she'd applied to, including her "target school" which is listed as the top in the field she wanted to pursue (veterinary medicine), and was offered a full scholarship. Thankfully, I realized how selfish it was for me to stand her in way, and she's done a great job navigating it all on her own, including an on-campus IT job, off-campus apartment living and a small dog she adopted. And, l can't believe how fast this time has gone by. I will say, though, that she calls or texts often and comes home for visits, which helps!! You're right about the freedom of not having to move heaven and earth to keep their schedules and activities, etc. Makes my 3 part-time jobs I hold down seem like a scheduling breeze by comparison!
We have traveled so many places since our boys left the nest! It has been great quality time for my husband and I. It also helped me deal with the sadness I was experiencing missing my boys. It was much harder than I thought it would be!
Sonya D my son will be going to college in 2020 Andi would love to travel more but the thought of being too far of any happens makes me very scared. How do you plan your trips/ cope if anything happens?
I'm a planner and am a pencil and paper kinda girl! I'm always writing something down. We became empty nesters about 5 years ago and it was kind of hard at first but honestly my feeling now is that IT'S GREAT!!!!
We have a September trip planned for my husband and myself for years now, since right after our youngest daughter left for college. It has been 7 years now, we are lovers of sand and sun, so our vacation at this time of year are to the Bahamas and Caribbean. We have discovered so many amazing little islands and snorkeled our way around more little cays than we can count, it’s been memorable and we have met making people along the way that we now see every September. We also have an apartment in New Orleans that we acquired around the time our youngest left for college, we weekend in the city 2-3 times a month and fill our social schedule with activities, museums, plays, concerts and pro sporting events. Filling my days with reading, planning (my favorite hobby) and lunching with the ladies, i also make weeknight get always to our apartment in NOlA with my girlfriends and we have amazing wonderful memories at cooking classes, treasure shopping in antique stores and taking many classes offered in the city. I spend lots of time planning a few cruises each year for the mister and myself, typically when ALL the students are in session, we love kiddos but when we travel on a ship we would rather a season when not so many of them are on board. Your goals are really great and totally doable, being the entertainment coordinator for our life as empty nesters is a job I happily take on and love every minute of the planning process, I research and we discuss and explore the many options available to us and we decide together which ones are most appealing and bring them to fruition. I also felt the need to declutter and organize, it was a nice opportunity to use some of the duplicate items to stock our daughters apartment at LSU with the items she needed for every day life. If your guys aren’t in that phase of life just yet, keeping that in mind as you go through and streamline your home, you may want to buy a few storage bins a and keep the extra pots, pans, dishes and regular household items for that time when they move out of college and into their own space. Best wishes on your new journey and congratulations on your successful raising of the boys into independent men!
I love this. This is something I have been wanting to plan out, but had no idea where to start. I am so motivated and am starting to jot things down today!
This is really great, Marnie. I'm quite far from an empty nest (we've got eight kids, and while our oldest is heading off to college in a year and a half, my youngest is 10 months, so I'm here for awhile!) However, my takeaway from this video is- we've all got changes in our life on the horizon, and it's best to meet them proactively, rather than reactivly (is that a word??). We can never plan for every thing, but it does give us a bit more control going forward. Lots to think about today- thanks!!
Great topic Marnie! We did the same thing such as planning more date nights and starting to clean the house out. And the free time from not having the sporting events was amazing. All three kids played soccer and it was our social life. My only advice is to stay flexible. Two of my three kids are now back home. My daughter is going to school and living at home to save money. My oldest and his fiancé moved back in with us to save money for the wedding. Both are looking for jobs too and thinking about going back to school. It is tough out in the world. My other son is still away at school. It is great having them back home and getting to know them as adults. The dynamic has of course changed but it is going well. We are still planning out for the empty nest and it’s nice having that time again with your spouse. Thanks again for doing this topic.
I'm in my upper 30's, married with no children, so yes, this would apply to me as well. We should plan out our goals better, especially with travel and building a better social network.
You will grieve. Give yourself time for this process. The joy of not having to follow the school schedule is a WHOOP WHOOP! You will rejoice with the quietness and curse it in same breath. Menopause is such a slippery slope. It is very different for each of us. My symptoms started at 30. My mom's not until she was well into her 50's. Please, find a Dr. that will listen to you; believe what you are saying; and willing to try different treatments if needed. Menopause is not a disease it is a process.....so treat it as such. Enjoy this semester and summer of the "last times" Don't fret the small stuff. This is the best of the best....Well until you have Grands.Blessings
I'm 37 and will be a complete empty nester in 3 years. I have a 19 and 14 year old. I'm excited, yet nervous. Can't wait to discover and rediscover things about myself.
Enjoyed this video- on point!! Definitely a transition not only for the parents, the kids leaving. It definitely is a new chapter of re-discovery. I took photography courses through continuing education which I always wanted to do & absolutely loved. & our daughter realized a new appreciation for parenting & adulthood. 😊 💐
With three kids (all in activities) the thought of an empty nest makes me anxious about how quiet life will become. I have the same outlook as you do.... the more I know/read/research the more comfortable I am when something happens. Looking forward to your discoveries and recommendations about embracing being an empty nester and preparing for menopause. A good topic might be how to find "new" friends. Many of my friendships are based on our childrens' shared activities. Great video!! Thanks for doing all you do.
Thanks for this video. I have two that started college this year and have a 14 year old still at home. The transition has been interesting to say the least. Some good things and some difficult things... I am starting a list today to take baby steps into transitioning my time into new things.
Great topic Marnie! In my situation I am the caregiver of a disabled adult child so it's difficult to make plans. But I gladly make the sacrifices, as I'm sure all mother's would. You look beautiful!
To make sure I get exercise I wake up before anyone else and that way I make no excuses and its done. Make your priorities in the morning so it’s not put off or pushed down to 8:00pm.
I cried for days when when my first son moved out!! And when my second son graduated and finished his final season of wrestling ( after 5 yrs of wrestling in middle school and high school) - I felt like I hit a brick wall, Marnie- you’ll make it through!! I promise. 😘
Empty Nest life is a nice life. Sure I miss my children, especially since they live thousands of miles away. But I have truly enjoyed hanging out with my Husband, like back in the old days. And the house is ours again. Our schedules are are own. The grocery bill went down! :D Being an empty nester is definitely a season of life. I am embracing it. And I look forward to the journey. PS: You are such a class act. And I will hold you to your year of turning your house upside down. Sounds like some good TH-cam footage!
Hi Marnie. This is making me cry....my son just finished primary school here in Australia and in February he starts high school. I am equal parts terrified and excited for him but so sad that he has finished up at our small local school. He made so many wonderful friends and had so many incredible teachers along the way, I'm sad that this experience has ended for him. Can't imagine how I'll feel when my kids are going into/finishing University!! xx
I'm 30 and feel like these things still apply, especially for those of us who are stay at home parents. It's hard for me to make myself be social and see people. I am very introverted and tend to be a bit shy but if the time is already set aside and scheduled then it's easier to be accountable.
I’m loving this topic! We have a daughter in college and our son is 17...so this is a timely video!! Also, so glad you’re wanting to start the conversation about menopause- my mom died when I was a child so I never had her to ask questions. It’s an awkward subject to bring up to other women when no one is really talking about it...
Very smart plan. I don't know if I'll ever be an empty nester. My 19yr old had debilitating anxiety. And my 21 year old moved back in for a while to save some money. So many things out of my control in my life.
I really appreciate your chat today! I admit I’m not as knowledgeable on what’s to come with health issues with menopause and would love to learn more about topics through chats like this. Also have one leaving the nest in 2019 and one is 2021 so the adjustment to letting go is throwing me off more than I ever thought it would. Thank you for being forward thinking and changing up your content to keep yourself having fun at your job and keeping us informed!
Even though my son is just two with another on the way I think about these life changes all the time, for example we wanted so much to have another child but now that the time is almost here I’m afraid of what reality will really look like. I know this is normal but big life changes are just hard and it really helps to make goals!
Once you have one, another one isn’t that big of a change! And they grow so fast that the more physically demanding part is over very quickly! But if you’re happy with one, don’t let someone else talk you into more!
From everyone who has been given much, much will be expected. Think about it. A lot of people need help. Volunteerism would make you feel good and you could influence your viewers to do the same. You would be good at it, too.
I already do volunteer! I have my whole life! I should have mentioned that too, but since it’s already a part of my life I didn’t add it to the plan. But now I’ll be to do more! I can’t wait!!
I think menopause has been, in the past, a forbidden subject and I'm glad you are sharing. My mother never talked about it except for the hot flashes. I wish she had been more open because it would have helped me to wrap my mind and body around the changes that happen. Keep up the conversation. I like your idea of research and setting goals. We never think about "empty nesting" until it happens but it's a real challenge psychologically. Talk to your mom about it. I regret the conversations I never had.
I ;am an empty nester and have been for about three years. I devoted the first 20+ years of my marriage to raising the children and focusing on their needs. I feel that I have entered phase 2 of my life and can now focus on my career and time with my husband. We travel more, mostly to visit our kids, but also enjoy quiet evenings at home. I think that planning for this phase is a great idea and can help you decide what you want to get out of this time when you can shift your focus onto yourself and your husband. It’s a great time!
As my oldest was preparing to go off to college I had another child so there was no time to think about being an empty nester. I was excited that my daughter was happy to have that college experience and she came home every weekend. I remember standing in the middle of the street waving goodbye with tears running down my face. It was hard letting my child leave, but I am grateful for the young woman that she became. She is happily married and they bought a home over a year ago. After 34 years of working I retired, I set many goals for myself in my new phase of life. I survived having the home I grew up in gutted and remodeled and at the same time had a total knee replacement. I have cleared out and donated most of my clothing and heels. I have gotten rid of so much that I no longer use or need. I agree that when you organize your home it makes life less complicated. My son is at the community college and lives with us, he works after school and is on his way to becoming a responsible young adult. I still have many dreams to travel, but I am the happiest around my children.
I so appreciate this video! My son is in middle school, but the empty nest is definitely looming! Instead of getting blindsided by the inevitable, this helps me look at all of the possibilities! Thanks Marnie, for helping me embrace that road looming ahead. Or perhaps, someday sooner than I realize, beckoning!
Being a 50 yr old empty nester... I love the aspect of not having to plan big meals and the ability to come/go as you please.
Two of our 5 kids are adults. Still have three more boys to raise. Was married 23 years. My whole life changed when my husband died. No one plans to become a widow in their early 40s. No clue what my life will be or what I even want (besides my husband back). We always talked about when finally empty-nesters after raising a large family, but I dread what it will be now.
Hi betsy apply insurance policy
I am 58 and an empty-nester for several years and have now gone through menopause. I highly recommend TH-camr Menopause Taylor, a gynocologist . While she is very quirky, she gives excellent information and explanation on all things menopause. She breaks information down in laymen terms. While there are many things I miss about a house full of children, I make a choice to look at the positives - lower food and electricity bills, a house that requires less cleaning, I don't have to rush home after work to take someone to an activity, my weekends are my own, my budget is my own. As a single mom, there was rarely time to do things for me. Now I have joined a local opera company, and a local chorale, volunteer, and travel. I enjoy the quiet and equally enjoy when they all come to visit. Where I struggle is being more physically active because I hate exercise. My goal of 2019 is to walk 4 - 5 days a week. I plan on working at least 12 more years but I already know I have to have a plan in place for how I will fill my days.
I am in the same boat as of two weeks ago. I have done weight training for around 20 years ... I would recommend it to feel strong and toned. We need to support each other!
Marnie, I am in my 60's, a widow with two sons (one of whom passed away this year from illness). Live every day to the fullest. Time passes so quickly. My husband developed early onset Alzheimers in his early 60s -totally unexpected. We did not have these retirement years to do things together as we had expected. Don't put off going places, doing things. However, do save your money also because illness can strike so quickly. You might think of Long Term Health insurance. It does not take very long if a person is put into assisted living/dementia care/ nursing home to deplete your savings. God bless you as you enter this new stage of life!
Oh this is excellent advice!! For all of us!! Thank you!!
If we're talking about the realities of life changes, it's important to keep the old saying, "Man plans, God laughs" in mind. While you're planning date nights and trips, the unthinkable might happen. Your spouse might die. It happened to me right after I became an empty nester, and I hadn't planned for that. We were too young. We had things to do and we finally had the time to do them.
What happens then? What will you do? Find out where all the important paperwork is. Find out how to do all the things your husband routinely takes care of. Make a living will. Tuck those plans away in a drawer and hope you won't need them for a very long time, but have them.
Enjoy these years, but plan for everything.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that and lose your husband. You give really good advice. Since I am a planner, we do have all that prepared already. Another tip is to make sure you know all the passwords to the online accounts!
@@MsGoldgirl Excellent advice! I didn't, and that was a mess. I also didn't know where the key to safe deposit box was. Thank you, Marnie. This was a wonderful topic, and I would love to see more videos like this.
Retiring, I’ve work shift work for the last 40 years. Everyone else’s emergencies were my priorities. Oh NO! Now what? I never wanted to be a housewife, BUT I love it! Yes, in the last 6 months I’ve organized 95% of my small condo (1500 sqft) and I’m working to streamline everything in my life! Great goals Marnie. You may find that you really don’t have as much time as you think - I think I’m busier now then when I was raising a family, working full time, and attempting to keep a house. There is always something to do, I’m trying to start focusing more on ME, eating healthy, losing weight, and exercising more. I’m getting a paper calendar book and I’m going to make a schedule!! But, this time ME 1st! And, I agree with you MsGoldgirl DATE NIGHTS/DAYS/ETC are going to be written down! I have 4 months until my husband retires, and then the real planning begins!
I did NOT plan for the little things and I was completely lost! I am also a widow, so my nest was totally empty.
I didn't know how to fill up my days, what to eat or how to shop for just one person. Spent my days off work staring at the dogs and crying.
Groceries spoil and how do you cook for one? I ate Froot Loops with coffee creamer for a week straight.
I had all these things I planned to do when the kids left home but couldn't think of a single thing.
I wanted to travel but day to day life must go on ... work, chores, pets. And your nest may be empty but not your friends... so you don't rank high on their priority list.
I planned the big things like down size,sell my home of 21 yrs, move closer to my job, which I managed to accomplish in a year, but it's the little things that you don't even think about that really get you.
Im 2 yrs in, still adjusting. My best advice, invent things to fill in for the little things ... the gaps of time in day to day life.
For me (esp after the move) it was home decor no longer has to be functional ... that white furniture and bedding I always wanted is practically maintenance free and Get a hobby... I can refinish furniture like a pro and own most of the tools to do so!
Great Topic!
I am so sorry for your loss. Your advice is really helpful-thank you so much for sharing what has to be a very painful topic.
This is why it's important for moms to still have a life outside of their kids.
Most of my life I have been a planner. Turned 60 (ugg, still hate that number) this month. The last several years my "planning" was disrupted by life. Spent 5 years in a lot of pain (hip injury, 4 surgeries, multiple invasive tests/procedures). My hip finally healed and I was moving on, then I fell and broke my humerus, which required surgery and back to physical therapy. What I'm trying to say is sometimes things happen that disrupt your plans, don't let it get you down, just make new plans! Thanks for this video.
This made me think of the goals I made when I retired after working for 50 years! Didn't have time to do this when I became an empty nester, as we were in the midst of running a business and working like crazy. Menopause came for me (at around 56) with absolutely no side effects - so hope the same is true for you! As a working wife/mother (with a very 50's style husband) I was always very organized, with cupboards/drawers/clothes pared down to a minimum so didn't need to do that. It's good that you and Michael seem to be on the same page, as this will help you achieve and keep some of the goals you set. What I said on Instagram about not planning too much, is so that you don't feel disappointed when things don't go exactly as you had hoped. Let life happen a little too! Until your boys are living away from your home (not at college) I don't think you will really feel like an empty nester! Good luck with it all - make as much of it happen as you can while you still have the energy and health. Someone else asked if you have parents that figure into your planning - I'm curious too!
Great video. I’m a football mom too, my son is just a freshman but I know the next years will fly by. Planning is a great idea - I can see that we will need to schedule our social life more proactively. I teach music in a preschool so my days are full of learning and energy but the evenings and weekends will need a full restructuring!
Marnie do you have any responsibilities regarding elderly parents?
Very good question Cindy. Elderly parents come into this equation sooner or later. Merry Christmas. 💕
My parents live out of state and are currently healthy so no issues at the moment. Michael’s have both passed away unfortunately.
Timely topic. My 19 year old is living at home. But between school and his job and his own social life, his schedule is very much his own. My husband and I are working on redefining our normal.
You are really wise to plan for this next stage. We've been empty nesters for a few years now. We also had a cross-country move for my husband's career at the beginning of this stage. It was very difficult to find new friendships without the automatic connection that children provide. I'm still figuring out who I want to be now (learning photography is next on my list!), but I will say that we're enjoying this time immensely! It is so much fun to "date" my husband again. We are having a blast!
Marnie this is a fabulous topic for you to explore. My husband and I looked so forward to this stage and had great plans. The first year we were empty nesters he suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. So I find myself as both an empty nester and a widow. Talk about a life change!!! I would love to hear from anyone else out there in my same position. xo
Dianne I am so sorry for your loss! I can’t even imagine your pain. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
It's been hard Marnie but I am fine. Thanks for the sweet reply!
Great video! I'm a soon to be empty nester of 7 kids and I'm a bit lost. I stayed home with all my kids so becoming an empty nester is def intimidating!
Wow! From a busy household of seven, I can only imagine how crazy it was. My boys are 16 and 19, I started worrying about empty nest when they asked to go for sleep overs when they were younger! I know, I am worrier. The step I took was to start doing what I always wanted to do, having conversations around difficult topics so I started my own TH-cam channel. Definitely keeps me busy. You too will find what makes you happy. Good luck and remember, you got this!
Kristen nice
I like how you embrace the next stage and plan for it, learning more and keeping yourself moving forward in a positive way.
I’m 47, I’m also wondering about menopause, simplifying my life, and keeping my body healthy - I’m excited to watch your video regarding this topic! ❤️
My 18 year old son starts an internship next year. In South Africa, the new school year starts in January, so he was our baby of 5 children. He's just moved into our flatlet on our property, and I was feeling anxious for what to do next year. I started a TH-cam channel, but not really sure what to do and where to go with it, but definitely going to work on that in the year to come. I am excited to finally pursue some of my own interests. I'm in my early 50's so still have many years ahead, and totally agree with you regarding keeping on learning new things. My mother passed away a month ago, and that has hugely impacted my life. Thank you for an uplifting channel. Excited to see where you will be going with it in the new year... Belinda xo
Hi Marnie, I’ve been an empty nester for quite some time. About the same time my two daughters left for college both sets of parents passed away, so I went from being in the “sandwich” generation to us being empty nesters, and we were sports parents too. I had my first child at twenty-four, so of course I was lost at first, but I was still working then which filled my time. I soon found activities that I wanted to do-working out and yoga and I have met extremely close friends now through that. Best advice is be open to change and new opportunities, I’ve done half marathons, biked, taken Italian lessons and cooking lessons. We’ve traveled and camped in Denali NP. Now I have three grandsons and enjoy doing things with them, life definitely is different but still great!
What a life you have! Sounds marvelous!
Nice
As a recent empty nester, I too was planning and thinking ahead before my son went out of state off to college.The one thing that hit me that I didn’t expect and didn’t plan for was the loss of being a mom in the every day aspect. I was a sports mom, who was very involved as well and I definitely think the first few months are tough. I definitely was a little depressed and tried to keep pushing by purging the house, organizing, and trying to act like everything was great! Let yourself go through those emotions. By Thanksgiving, I would say I felt much better. Now, I am enjoying the quiet time, less cooking, date nights! It also helps to know that my son is doing well and is really loving his college choice and is thriving.
Marnie, I NEEDED this today! Soon to be an empty nester with our one and only this fall. I am already feeling gutted at the thought. I could hear the emotion in your voice. But I love your attitude and plan and I will follow suit! Going to get a planner and start planning. Going to be HARD. Thanks for sharing with all of us!💐❤️
Hi Marnie, I have also been an empty nester for some time. I think you are wise to plan for it. I was excited for it but without specific plans I drifted a bit. No amount of planning will fill the void created by the lack of young people in your house and you just have to emotionally prepare yourself for that. The wonderful thing is that your relationship with your children will change - you now have the freedom to become a mentor to children and you will eventually become friends with them. It's quite an interesting phase - enjoy it!
One of the things that I would like to open up as a topic is the fact that being an empty Nester also has a revolving door! Yes they all leave and go to college if that’s been the goal that was set in your family but they come back every semester every summer then they graduate and they come back and live with you for a while or you’re helping them get located someplace so now your funds are going towards that. Empty Nester is not a fixed way of life it really isn’t! My last child just purchased her own condo so technically she is out and NOW we are Empty Nesters so just be warned that that the cycle of getting your children completely on their own can be a long road and the fantastic ideas you(me and hubby) have been put on hold SO MANY TIMES and it becomes very important to reassess and re-establish them at varying times. Thanks for opening up this topic Marnie!!!
This video is on point with me. I have one in college and within the next three years the others will also be in college. I truly dread it. I love being a mom and although some days are overwhelming I don’t look forward to them leaving. My husband and I will have to reinvest in our relationship. My grandmother lived to the age of 99. A few years before she died I asked her what was the best period of her life. Without hesitation she replied, when all five of my kids were home with us. The one thing I won’t miss though is the laundry...who ever thought white pants are a good idea for sports.
My youngest leaves for the Navy in June and I got divorced this past June. This is so my stage of life right now! Thank you! I’ve been trying to figure out who am I again and this helped so much! I’m writing my goals down as we speak!
Hi jaime clark do frndshp...
My son is 11 and is currently on a 2 week summer camp so this video made me realise that I am getting a taste of wjat empty nest is all about. Thank-you for this video @marnie
I honestly don't feel being an empty nester is a big issue for couples like you and Michael. You have worked on your relationship thru the years. You have continued having a life as a couple. (Good for you!) The problem is with couples that have made their life ONLY about their children because that is the only thing that has held them together. That is actually a problem when you get to this point in life. Unfortunately, I fall into this category. So yes, this should be a lesson to all those 30 year olds…..put your husband/wife/relationship first...the kids do eventually leave and then there are two people looking at each other thinking.....NOW WHAT? I don't even know you.
Good topic, Marnie. All ages can learn from this IF they will listen.
As a "young" mom of an 11 yr old and a 5 yr old I often think of how quickly having an empty nest will come. I fear that my little babies will be gone before we know it and wonder how I will survive without being an active mother in their extra curricular activities, etc.. I hear other moms just counting down the days and I cannot relate to them at all. Does the fear ever subside? I love the idea of being knowledgeable of your future, so thank you for bring that to the forefront. Your confidence and excitement has eased the idea of "being allll alone." Did you feel that way at all when your boys were younger?
@Nikita Embree I have a 10 & 14 year old & it really does go by quick. I also get that pain in my heart when I think about them growing up & moving on. I think if we start now focusing on ourselves & things we enjoy (when there's time) during those "Mom years", we won't completely lose our identity. Just know you're not alone & our main job is to teach our kids independence & being self sufficient. We should pat ourselves on the back when they do become well rounded adults!
Hang in there, luckily we still have time!
A long time ago I learned the phrase “bloom where you’re planted”. Basically, enjoy where you are, because if you’re pining for the past or looking toward the future, you’re missing out on where you are now!! That mentality has really helped me a lot!
My husband and I are at this stage as well. Our daughter will be heading off to college in August 2019. She is an only child and the light of our lives. She is not only my daughter but we are best friends. We are a very close family. I am so excited for her and look forward to this new chapter in her life and ours, but gosh, sometimes I just break down and cry! It seems like time has flown by and I find myself asking, "where did the time go?" I too am setting goals for 2019 and trying to stay focused on all the new and exciting things that will be happening. We have wonderful memories but I know that new memories are going to be made as well. Thank you Marnie for this video. Sometimes it is just good to hear someone else talk about their situation and what they are doing.
Melinda Mueller I have a son going to college in 2020 also only child Seems like you now have a year under your belt. Any advise on how you have coped? I need any help I can get. The thought of it makes me very sad. Indiana Davis
Hi melinda easyyyyyy
I went through that life change a few years ago after raising four kids. I still had other things I did but it still hurt my heart. Now I have two grandchildren who live close to me and it's the best thing in the world. There's a silver lining in every stage of life.
I’m still in the busy sports parent years and I love hearing about your goals as you move into empty nest years. I feel like I’m always recalibrating and trying to keep balanced. This is motivating me to write down my goals for the year.. one is to quit saying “I’m so busy” or complaining about being super busy, I just need to suck it up and get on with things.
Darby great.
Great ideas!! I share the goals you mentioned but haven't been very organized about achieving them since retiring. This new series will be an enormous help! Thank you!
I'm so happy you did this video! This is a long comment so I hope you hang in here! 😀 Mine are 17 and 14. My oldest has made me realize that they really will leave one day and so I've begun preparing a couple things. I've been a sahm for about 9 years. Sooo, I decided to go to college! I know I'll need a job eventually and I'm not willing to settle for minimum wage anymore. I felt so much support from this video and it just confirms a lot of thoughts I've had lately. And thank you for reminding us to research our health. I'm 42 and am experiencing menapause now and I need to do some more research on the subject. I do have a video request tho. Could possibly do one on the dynamics of sports moms? Just things like how you start mom meetings to get to know each other and such. My son has played baseball since he was 5, every year a different team. He's the 14 yr old and he has the opportunity to try out for school baseball next month. I'm not the best planner but I would like to get to know the moms since we may potentially be together every year until our boys graduate. How can I start something similar to the Polish and Prayer that you partook of? I live in a small town where people tend to be very stand-offish and I don't want to be overbearing. Thanks Marnie for all you put into your videos, you'll never know the positive impact you've had on my life as I've been a subscriber for about 6-7 years now.
I am most excited about your organization and purging videos!
Hi Jo inny
Good morning! Great ideas! As a new empty nester, I can say it’s not what I expected. I was a little more sad than I expected. I identified myself as a mom as one of my main “jobs” & when you aren’t needed in the same way, it was sad to me. I thought I would have so much free time when actually I seemed busier than when kids were here. Can’t understand how I did it all. Whatever your experiences will be, enjoy every second!!
Like you, I was a sports mom for over 20 years. Not only through little league and high school but we’d drive 4 hrs nearly every fall and spring weekend for my son’s college games. The dread I felt when that was ending was real! And guess what, I was fine. “Mourned” a little bit and then moved on. Planning is great but don’t over plan. Because, as the saying goes, we plan/God laughs. There are things in life we can’t control and it behooves us to allow for the unknown. Same goes for menopause. Knowledge is power but we are all very different in how we will experience it. You’re more likely to have hot flashes if your mom did than if I did! You get it.
Your foresight and planning is admirable and by all means have things to look forward to. But as I sit here waiting for my 29 and 32 yr olds to arrive for Christmas, I can say without a doubt that at least half of what I thought would be, wasn’t. And the other half is even better than I could have expected!
I'm 31 and my husband is 36, not middle aged quite yet, BUT we have no kids and no plans to. I thought this was a great video, the need for us to focus on what we want to accomplish and be specific I think is great advice! Especially in planning ways to spend time with each other. It's so easy to say "This night is date night" and then you don't know what to do so you end up in front of the tv not interacting. So having ideas, great and small, is something I hope to work on! Our current goal and activity together is showing our two Kerry Blue Terriers and hope to become breeders one day. They are our kids. :)
These videos are exactly what I need in this stage in my life! Thank you so much!😊
This will be me in three years... You brought up many ideas and topics I haven't considered yet.
Yes! This was so refreshing and encouraging since there seems to be a shortage of youtubers in this season of life. I'd love more like this! Thanks for sharing!
I think this is content is good for all ages. Some of us like myself need to hear this and I'm 31.
Hi sophia..
once u raised children,i think the best thing u learn is how to value time and not waste it, it is priceless so what ur doing now i think ,planning will serve u well. i am 75 and planning my life is still a very important and fun tool for a good life.
Hi Marnie! I had to stop and comment before I finished watching this vudeo. Your content today is so ON POINT!!! I'm loving this! Thanks so much for taking the time and making this video! You're the B O M B!! Ok i'l continue to watch now. :)
So glad you’re enjoying it!!
i'm looking forward to your journey Marnie. All good goals and planning in your future. I joined a gym and exercise is one of my big goals as I age. xoxo
I love all your ideas! I was blessed to have a daughter at age 40 (I’m 49 now) and I think you should set goals for yourself at any age. Whether it’s getting out of debt, traveling more, doing more things you enjoy so you have more balance. I may need to dust off my journal and start writing things down. Thanks, Ms. Goldgirl!! And Happy Belated Hanukkah! ❤️
Very wise of you Marnie to plan ahead for this new stage in life. It can be a challenging time and an emotional roller coaster. I think it’s a fabulous time to further your knowledge and creative spirit. Some say it’s a time for rebirth. Looking forward to sharing your journey 💕
I am about a year & a half from this and honestly it is overwhelming! Thanks for doing these videos!!
I'm 47. My children are 21, 18, and 13. Although it will be a few years before my youngest starts to think about moving out, I know that they are all starting to develop their own interests and think about their own adult lives. I like how you discussed having goals and plans for your own future self. I took a 200-hour yoga teacher training a few years ago; I feel that was a step toward investing in my own future self and beginning to explore my own interests again. It's a journey. Some of it feels a little heartbreaking, (i.e., kids leaving home!)-but your video reminds me that there are amazing positive aspects to this phase. 🙏🏾💖
I'm 23 and this is relevant because I just finished graduate school and likewise need to plan how to stay in touch with people, and how to fill my time in general since I don't have the structure of university anymore!
Congratulations on completing graduate school!
After 40 years of nursing, I am retiring in 2019, so this is a topic I am very interested in. My career has been a huge focus in my life and now I have to find a new focus and plan what I am going to do with my "new" life. You are so right about women tasking care of themselves last, as I sit here realizing I did not see my Gyn yet this year! Not good and taking care of that today! Looking forward to more content from you Marnie.
A trip to Italy is the only way to kick off empty nesting!
I like how you think!
I really enjoyed this video as I am at this stage in life. Being an empty nester at first is absolutely no fun at all, in fact it feels like abandonment lol...completely ridiculous I know but it is like a dagger to the heart when your kids appear to be happier elsewhere than at home. Having a big hole where the kids sport use to be is very strange and unnerving. Thanks for shedding light on this often overlooked stage. At the moment it is horrible but I am hoping as time goes on it will become a great new chapter.
That's how I felt at first too. It does get better, but you have to be intentional about making it better. Make new goals, find new hobbies, get involved in community. I promise it will get better and you will be proud of the independent adults you have raised that are doing great on their own.
I still feel a bit like that...after my son graduated from college, started working, and then “The Wedding!!”...that’s when I really felt abandoned- my husband is still working, and I am not, but other things like a new grandchild ☺️💕-and keeping busy, and then there is the care of elderly parents...yes, and some trips and a new pet...all of these things keep you going through the ups and downs! I have to say, though, raising my son, and all through the college years were the Best Times, but life goes on and you find other activities to enable you to move on and you have wonderful memories, too 💕❤️💕🤗
So excited for you!😆 I have been an empty Nester now for three years. I can tell you that your investment and intentionality with your husband being your best friends is going to really pay off now. Like yourselves my husband and I have always made our relationship the first priority and now that we are empty nesters we are absolutely loving this new season of life. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely loved being a stay home mom but now we get to enjoy the fruits of our hard work and watching our children be great adults. And then the grandchildren started coming and oh my goodness, amazing!!! I was shocked at the divorce rate in this season of life which breaks my heart because I can’t imagine doing this season of life alone. Planning, growing, and being intentional with this season is just important than ever before.❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
I know you aren't a huge fan of exercising. I don't like jarring activities myself. I also prefer not to sweat a lot while exercising:) Since you might have room upstairs when the boys are gone, I think you should consider purchasing a Pilates Reformer. I have have done Pilates for 21 years and it has helped with my joint issues and to maintain a strong core. I like the resistance exercises the machine provides over the mat exercises you do on the floor. It is a really comfortable way to exercise. You can make it as intense of a workout as you like. I am on my second machine and probably looking at buying a third. My son wants to take mine back to college next year when he moves into a condo. You can buy them on QVC or from the makers of the machine Stamina Products. I have a freshman in college and a freshman in high school. So not quite an empty nester. I am excited to see what topics are on the horizon for your channel. Loving the makeup today.
I would LOVE to have a Pilates reformer in the house!!!
We are new empty nesters as of a year ago. There are things that you don't even think about like learning to cook for two, finding time for your self, etc. I started crafting and fond new hobbies and, for him, going back to old ones. Then there is a time they do come back. It's nice for a short period of time. But it doesn't always go smoothly. So there needs to be a contingent plan if they move back home.
We’re changing the locks!! 🤣 I’m just kidding!
@@MsGoldgirl I thought about it! Lol
Thank you for this video. I think this is a great avenue to go down. I enjoy watching how you are evolving and changing through the milestones. I turned 40😁 this year and have 5 & 7 yr old kiddos. My youngest will be in full-time school next year. I have been an at-home Mom for almost a decade. Like you, I love being able to watch the growth and just be there for my kids. They have been my life. I am equally excited to begin this new stage of life with more time for myself (new career, health/fitness, to process a complete thought without distraction). Planning is key. Even though it has been a struggle with time and finances, I have been taking classes now to support my new career in the (near) future. Because life doesn't come with a how-to book, it is nice to connect with others willing to share.
I'm 62 and have been by myself for a while. It is nice but at times extremely quiet. You are right in everything your saying. Planning is always a good idea. Make a list of things you want to do and see. Then the important thing is to do what's on the list. Have fun is the ultimate goal. You are still young and so many fun things to do. Enjoy planning and doing and having fun. ❤
Love that you are sharing this now, while my husband and I are still a little ways away from an empty nest, many of the ideas that you shared, are good to put into practice now, so that the routine is there, and an easy transition can be made when the nest is empty.
This was great. Anytime you can plan or take some sense of control of a situation, you feel empowered. I'm looking forward to more videos like this!
I'm excited for you, Marnie!
I am also becoming an empty nester in 2019 and many of the things you mentioned are also on my list! Looking forward to your upcoming content on any/all of these topics.
Thank you for the video! The quiet empty nest takes me back to before I had a child when I didn’t know what to do with myself! I can really plan out projects and hobbies that I’ve been really wanting to work on.
Very good ideas. Thanks for walking us through this. Its right around the corner for me/us
I've been watching beauty/lifestyle videos for a long time and I have *never* come across a video on preparing for becoming an empty nester. I'm going to be, knock on wood, sending my youngest off to university next year. It's surreal. I became a mom when I was 20 and pretty much my entire adult life has been entirely focused on the family. A few years ago my marriage broke down, so I suppose in a weird way I've already had some experience with fundamental changes to family. But I am really nervous about the impending reality of not seeing any of my kids on a daily basis. I've gone back to university to finally find myself a career, but at the back of my mind I still feel like a mom first. It's going to be such a period of adaptation next year. Bit of a ramble; thank you for this video. The solidarity is very much appreciated.
Oh man did this bring back memories. You're handling it way better than I did! I'm a widow and was a super involved Mom, and when my kids both graduated HS, felt like I'd been abruptly thrown off a fast moving train. My older daughter (24) attended a local collage, but my younger daughter (22) is a senior at a university 7 hours away. I thought my heart would break when she left. In fact, I handled it so badly before her HS graduation, that her college counselor called me in for a "little talk." Lol. She'd been accepted to all 11 schools she'd applied to, including her "target school" which is listed as the top in the field she wanted to pursue (veterinary medicine), and was offered a full scholarship. Thankfully, I realized how selfish it was for me to stand her in way, and she's done a great job navigating it all on her own, including an on-campus IT job, off-campus apartment living and a small dog she adopted. And, l can't believe how fast this time has gone by. I will say, though, that she calls or texts often and comes home for visits, which helps!! You're right about the freedom of not having to move heaven and earth to keep their schedules and activities, etc. Makes my 3 part-time jobs I hold down seem like a scheduling breeze by comparison!
We have traveled so many places since our boys left the nest! It has been great quality time for my husband and I. It also helped me deal with the sadness I was experiencing missing my boys. It was much harder than I thought it would be!
I have a feeling it will be for me too! That’s why I need to plan things to keep busy/distracted.
Sonya D my son will be going to college in 2020 Andi would love to travel more but the thought of being too far of any happens makes me very scared. How do you plan your trips/ cope if anything happens?
Sonya u prefer peace or hustlebustle
I'm a planner and am a pencil and paper kinda girl! I'm always writing something down. We became empty nesters about 5 years ago and it was kind of hard at first but honestly my feeling now is that IT'S GREAT!!!!
We have a September trip planned for my husband and myself for years now, since right after our youngest daughter left for college. It has been 7 years now, we are lovers of sand and sun, so our vacation at this time of year are to the Bahamas and Caribbean. We have discovered so many amazing little islands and snorkeled our way around more little cays than we can count, it’s been memorable and we have met making people along the way that we now see every September. We also have an apartment in New Orleans that we acquired around the time our youngest left for college, we weekend in the city 2-3 times a month and fill our social schedule with activities, museums, plays, concerts and pro sporting events. Filling my days with reading, planning (my favorite hobby) and lunching with the ladies, i also make weeknight get always to our apartment in NOlA with my girlfriends and we have amazing wonderful memories at cooking classes, treasure shopping in antique stores and taking many classes offered in the city. I spend lots of time planning a few cruises each year for the mister and myself, typically when ALL the students are in session, we love kiddos but when we travel on a ship we would rather a season when not so many of them are on board. Your goals are really great and totally doable, being the entertainment coordinator for our life as empty nesters is a job I happily take on and love every minute of the planning process, I research and we discuss and explore the many options available to us and we decide together which ones are most appealing and bring them to fruition. I also felt the need to declutter and organize, it was a nice opportunity to use some of the duplicate items to stock our daughters apartment at LSU with the items she needed for every day life. If your guys aren’t in that phase of life just yet, keeping that in mind as you go through and streamline your home, you may want to buy a few storage bins a and keep the extra pots, pans, dishes and regular household items for that time when they move out of college and into their own space. Best wishes on your new journey and congratulations on your successful raising of the boys into independent men!
I love this. This is something I have been wanting to plan out, but had no idea where to start. I am so motivated and am starting to jot things down today!
This is really great, Marnie. I'm quite far from an empty nest (we've got eight kids, and while our oldest is heading off to college in a year and a half, my youngest is 10 months, so I'm here for awhile!) However, my takeaway from this video is- we've all got changes in our life on the horizon, and it's best to meet them proactively, rather than reactivly (is that a word??). We can never plan for every thing, but it does give us a bit more control going forward. Lots to think about today- thanks!!
Hi anne let your kid fly at college
Great topic Marnie! We did the same thing such as planning more date nights and starting to clean the house out. And the free time from not having the sporting events was amazing. All three kids played soccer and it was our social life. My only advice is to stay flexible. Two of my three kids are now back home. My daughter is going to school and living at home to save money. My oldest and his fiancé moved back in with us to save money for the wedding. Both are looking for jobs too and thinking about going back to school. It is tough out in the world. My other son is still away at school. It is great having them back home and getting to know them as adults. The dynamic has of course changed but it is going well. We are still planning out for the empty nest and it’s nice having that time again with your spouse. Thanks again for doing this topic.
I'm in my upper 30's, married with no children, so yes, this would apply to me as well. We should plan out our goals better, especially with travel and building a better social network.
So glad to hear that!
You will grieve. Give yourself time for this process. The joy of not having to follow the school schedule is a WHOOP WHOOP! You will rejoice with the quietness and curse it in same breath. Menopause is such a slippery slope. It is very different for each of us. My symptoms started at 30. My mom's not until she was well into her 50's. Please, find a Dr. that will listen to you; believe what you are saying; and willing to try different treatments if needed. Menopause is not a disease it is a process.....so treat it as such. Enjoy this semester and summer of the "last times" Don't fret the small stuff. This is the best of the best....Well until you have Grands.Blessings
I'm 37 and will be a complete empty nester in 3 years. I have a 19 and 14 year old. I'm excited, yet nervous. Can't wait to discover and rediscover things about myself.
It’s ok to be nervous about a new stage in life. But remember this is the goal!!
Enjoyed this video- on point!! Definitely a transition not only for the parents, the kids leaving. It definitely is a new chapter of re-discovery. I took photography courses through continuing education which I always wanted to do & absolutely loved. & our daughter realized a new appreciation for parenting & adulthood. 😊 💐
With three kids (all in activities) the thought of an empty nest makes me anxious about how quiet life will become. I have the same outlook as you do.... the more I know/read/research the more comfortable I am when something happens. Looking forward to your discoveries and recommendations about embracing being an empty nester and preparing for menopause. A good topic might be how to find "new" friends. Many of my friendships are based on our childrens' shared activities. Great video!! Thanks for doing all you do.
Thanks for this video. I have two that started college this year and have a 14 year old still at home. The transition has been interesting to say the least. Some good things and some difficult things... I am starting a list today to take baby steps into transitioning my time into new things.
Great topic Marnie! In my situation I am the caregiver of a disabled adult child so it's difficult to make plans. But I gladly make the sacrifices, as I'm sure all mother's would. You look beautiful!
To make sure I get exercise I wake up before anyone else and that way I make no excuses and its done. Make your priorities in the morning so it’s not put off or pushed down to 8:00pm.
I cried for days when when my first son moved out!! And when my second son graduated and finished his final season of wrestling ( after 5 yrs of wrestling in middle school and high school) - I felt like I hit a brick wall, Marnie- you’ll make it through!! I promise. 😘
Empty Nest life is a nice life. Sure I miss my children, especially since they live thousands of miles away. But I have truly enjoyed hanging out with my Husband, like back in the old days. And the house is ours again. Our schedules are are own. The grocery bill went down! :D
Being an empty nester is definitely a season of life. I am embracing it. And I look forward to the journey.
PS: You are such a class act. And I will hold you to your year of turning your house upside down. Sounds like some good TH-cam footage!
Love these topics!
Hi Marnie. This is making me cry....my son just finished primary school here in Australia and in February he starts high school. I am equal parts terrified and excited for him but so sad that he has finished up at our small local school. He made so many wonderful friends and had so many incredible teachers along the way, I'm sad that this experience has ended for him. Can't imagine how I'll feel when my kids are going into/finishing University!! xx
I am thrilled to hear about your new series.
I really enjoyed this video. Love hearing what others are going through and what has helped. Thank you!
I'm 30 and feel like these things still apply, especially for those of us who are stay at home parents. It's hard for me to make myself be social and see people. I am very introverted and tend to be a bit shy but if the time is already set aside and scheduled then it's easier to be accountable.
This was good!!! Really good!!
Please take us along on your organizing journey. I love organizing videos.
I’m loving this topic! We have a daughter in college and our son is 17...so this is a timely video!!
Also, so glad you’re wanting to start the conversation about menopause- my mom died when I was a child so I never had her to ask questions. It’s an awkward subject to bring up to other women when no one is really talking about it...
Very smart plan. I don't know if I'll ever be an empty nester. My 19yr old had debilitating anxiety. And my 21 year old moved back in for a while to save some money. So many things out of my control in my life.
I really appreciate your chat today! I admit I’m not as knowledgeable on what’s to come with health issues with menopause and would love to learn more about topics through chats like this. Also have one leaving the nest in 2019 and one is 2021 so the adjustment to letting go is throwing me off more than I ever thought it would. Thank you for being forward thinking and changing up your content to keep yourself having fun at your job and keeping us informed!
love the content and think it is extremely valuable. keep up providing this kind of content.
I’m 28 & most of these apply to me as well. After being out of school or a few years it’s easy to become a hermit and only focus on working.
Hi claire take vacation.
Love this content, love the lists!
Even though my son is just two with another on the way I think about these life changes all the time, for example we wanted so much to have another child but now that the time is almost here I’m afraid of what reality will really look like. I know this is normal but big life changes are just hard and it really helps to make goals!
Once you have one, another one isn’t that big of a change! And they grow so fast that the more physically demanding part is over very quickly! But if you’re happy with one, don’t let someone else talk you into more!
From everyone who has been given much, much will be expected. Think about it. A lot of people need help. Volunteerism would make you feel good and you could influence your viewers to do the same. You would be good at it, too.
I already do volunteer! I have my whole life! I should have mentioned that too, but since it’s already a part of my life I didn’t add it to the plan. But now I’ll be to do more! I can’t wait!!
I think menopause has been, in the past, a forbidden subject and I'm glad you are sharing. My mother never talked about it except for the hot flashes. I wish she had been more open because it would have helped me to wrap my mind and body around the changes that happen. Keep up the conversation. I like your idea of research and setting goals. We never think about "empty nesting" until it happens but it's a real challenge psychologically. Talk to your mom about it. I regret the conversations I never had.