I'm going through purge stage. Divorce, medical issues, selling physical items and moving into a trailer. It's all for the best but boy, it's hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you for this video, it's exactly what I needed to hear. ❤
Wow. First I’d like to thank you, I’ve been somewhat binge watching your channel and I love your content and your energy! This video though…I’m honestly in tears, I had never heard of this before watching it. I have CPTSD and a slew of abusive relationships in the past, 6 years ago I was in one so bad that when I ran, my life spiraled. It was like my life was in complete chaos. I spent years battling depression, anxiety, panic attacks, night terrors, literal hell. I turned back to various forms of witchcraft and with that plus extensive therapy and meditation I got to a place of balance. Then I moved across the country, I felt myself becoming more at peace with myself, then I had the metaphorical and literal rug pulled out from under me a month ago. Hearing you explain this was like hearing someone explain why I had to go through everything I went through and hearing it finally make sense. Thank you so much, this explanation has had a profound impact on me. 💛
I'm going through the purge and I didn't even know it. Literally crying rn cuz this resonates so heavily and it's nice knowing that I'm still on the right path and haven't lost myself
Your point about the certain level of detachment of the Higher Self instantly reminded me of a video I watched discussing the differences between detachment and nonattachment in early Buddhism. What I gained from that discussion is that detachment is a result of not caring at all; unimportance, ignorance, or insignificance. Nonattachment, however, is a result of not fixating on the results, processes, or methods in which something may manifest; your intentions will change in correlation to your changing needs
i'm in the purge stage and i think the universe wanted me to go all in. Got sick, lost my house, had to move back in my native island selling pretty much 80% of my stuff, i live on my mom''s couch now trying to fight with generational trauma AND good ole childhood trauma, along with that urge to fight against things that feel so unjust, like my mother's lowkey ignorant racist remarks from time to time. while also trying to flash a mirror into my soul to try and catch those unhealthy traits in my own behaviour. it's... rough... i'm just waiting for some ups, after all these downs.
also speaking of overthinking trying to find a solution, even my cards keep telling me to let the higher ups do their thing and focus on healing. but sometimes it's just so hard and personally, some days i feel lost. i don't know if i'm emotionally ready to let whatever it is out there, help me and guide me. i desperately want to, but i guess i still need to work on my pride and that unreasonable idea of having to do all by myself, cause the universe clearly wants to teach me it's okay to ask for help when needed.
This reminds me of a song chorus. One I've pulled over in my head since I heard it in my childhood, that I think I understand a lot better now. "Don't you think it's strange That there's a way Of how you look and how you act and how you think Pretend there not the same as you" And it's song about going through the motions of life without getting to know yourself or the people around you. And this video is helping me understand the connection between so many ideas I've heard in philosophy, psychoanalysis, and just mundane pop culture. The self is not a gestalt of how you look, act, and think. How you look, act, and think are something that only happen in relation to others, to society, to people around you. And none of these are the same as You, the higher self. It reminds me a lot of Lacan and how there is a more You version of yourself at all times. This self analysis seems like a good process for getting an accurate picture of that more you You, and asserting control over how you look, act, and think, which is something I have generally let the people around me control. As a trans person, the gorge between the higher self and the me I've created is wide and deep, but I feel so much closer than ever to bridging that gap as I begin to seriously consider Chaos Magick. This all seems like good process.
For all the seekers out there i highly, highly recommend the Bliss and Grit podcast. It's a lot of tricky concepts laid out clearly and succinctly. It got me through my first purge! 😊
"'When the student is ready the teacher will appear" or, in this case, the video will appear when you need to make sense of it all. I've been working through so much and seemed to have hit a ruddy big roadblock in recent months, but no, it's just stage 3 and 'nonexistence' (that's what my ego's telling me!). I read Tarot and keep pulling the 4 of Swords but couldn't understand why - now I know...rest, recuperate and relax! Brightest of Blessings to you Ivy 💚
I feel like I've been in purge-Nonexistence loop for last 20 or so years and I'm finally tipping my toes into Nonexistense and possibility of Connectedness for the first time. Hell of a ride. Let see if I dive back to purge soon. =_=;
Thank you for this! I had my awakening back in 2018 with my job in healthcare. I just realized I am finally in stage 3 and reconnecting to my body. Which can feel so weird sometimes.
You don't know how much I needed this video. Honestly yesterday I googled "how to know when you're having a spiritual awakening" and I was so confused. Everything seemed so starseedy and that's not what I was looking for. I've been having so many emotions and thoughts and feeling's lately. This video really explained it well. Thank you!
My purge has been going on for about 4 years now I'm basically in non-existance. It gets lonely sometimes & I get bouts of nostalgia for my old life, BUT I am at the point of surrender now. Self love is a big part of it & it is definitely a rebirthing process, but its also a new sense of peace. I'm so ready to start reinventing myself but it seems that I am still incubating in this cocoon. Best hopes & wishes for all who are going through the dark night of the soul & their purge. May we all emerge as higher versions of ourselves, ready to take on this crazy world! Thank you so much for tackling this topic. Well done & blessed be!
I'm Jungian, so I agree with what you say on the definitions: The ego is nothing negative but we aim to integrate and aim towards the Self in Jugian terms (the "Higher Self"). "The spiritual awakening" expressed here is the start of the individuation process and some can experience it in their midlife crisis in their thirties. I had it when I was 8 as I had to question my own existence and values when I went to live in a foreign country. It came back when I was 14 and 35 to reassess my life course and professional life. I'm constantly having reassessments and am shifting my way since then. The path is unique to the individual, but my path loosely follows what you are describing here. The interesting thing is that I became more extroverted to balance, and I can allow myself to do so as I have more boundaries compared to when I was younger. Also, I became a medical practitioner/researcher and it doesn't clash with my "witchiness".
I’m going through a Spiritual Awakening without even knowing or maybe I knew but I wasn’t completely aware of it. For me I feel that it hasn’t been linear, sometimes I’m in one stage and the next I go back to the previous one, purging things again… it feels like I’m constantly purging, specially when it comes to family/relatives. At times I feel like I’m purging and grieving at the same time. I don’t know if it makes sense 😅 It does in my mind but I can’t express it well enough. Great video, by the way❤.I was actually watching your video about How to decondition the mind and you suggested this one, so I needed to watch this first.
Ivy, you are such a good teacher! I have studied a lot of psychology and spirituality with different teachers, and your clarity and ability to get to the core of a concept is very impressive! Thank you!❤
Dude, you've explained so much so well! I never fully understood ego until you explained it, I got the definition before, but now I understand the concept. And I am going through the first stage for the second time, this time, I am also going through the second stage. I completely understand when you say death. I genuinely feel death energy in and around me right now (but in the best way). You explained the first stage spot on for me, the second is different though. I am purging and dying and being "reborn" which, doesn't feel like reborn to me, it feels like shedding layers, like skin. I've broken up with my partner and I'm moving in with my sister. But I don't feel depressed or anything like that. I'm fighting a little anxiety, but beyond that, I'm trying very hard to focus on my emotions, give them space to be, process and release them. So I do have upsetting moments, but it's KIND of controlled. Regardless, it feels like the healthiest thing I've ever done.
And what I mean by shedding layers, is, it feels like I'm tearing down walls that I've built up throughout my life, exposing myself to myself and exposing my heart. It's a very vulnerable feeling tbh.
What are your thoughts on plant medicines like psilocybin, sananga, hape', aya, etc to help push us through the dark night? Also, would love to hear your thoughts on using hape' to help quiet the mind during meditation? Thank you for all of your beautiful insight 💜💜💜
Thank you... This is very helpful. I was getting really uncomfortable with the 4th one... With boundaries... This help me have a better understanding and perspective to my experience
So eloquently said, thank you. You have a gift for explaining abstract concepts👌 After about 3 years of cycling back and forth between stages 2 and 3, I got to enjoy a blissful 6 months or so of stage 4 before having a brand new awakening and starting the whole cycle again 😅 So much transformation, can't wait to see what happens next!!
Wow! This video set off all sorts of triggers for me. All good!! It helped me realize I have completed the entire process before and it also gave me an idea of why and how everything is going. I'd say I'm finishing up Stage 3 and starting Stage 4 right now. Hearing your explanations has helped remind me the feelings I have are just part of the process and I am making progress. Thank you Ivy!!
Thank you for this video. 💜 I would like to add something to what you have said. You recommend meditation in stage 2, »the purge«. This of course can be very helpful for neurotypical, healthy people. However, I tried meditation during a depression more than once and it wasn’t possible at all. I also heard from many other people that they have trouble with that. So if people are neurodivergent/and or have mental health issues, meditation may be not always the solution. Very good that you mentioned some alternatives. 😀 I’ve had two profound spiritual experiences some years ago. After them, especially the first one, I got confused as in, how can I integrate this into my life? How can I live my everyday life after I have experienced *that*? Then I was reminded of a really good quote from Zen: »What does the master do before enlightenment? Fetching water, chopping wood. What does the master do after enlightenment? Fetching water, chopping wood.« Which of course means, if you experience some form of enlightenment or something else deeply spiritual, go on with your daily life. You do not need to leave society, your community. You do not need to become a hermit somewhere in the middle of nowhere. By the way, if anyone here is interested in reading about accounts of personal experiences with spiritual awakenings (or spiritual emergencies/crises), I can very much recommend this book: »Breaking Open: Finding a Way Through Spiritual Emergency«, edited by Jules Evans and Tim Read. Please note that the accounts are not specifically from a pagan or witchcraft/occult perspective, however, I found them quite interesting and insightful. I haven’t read the following one yet, but it is on my wish list: »In Case of Spiritual Emergency: Moving Successfully Through Your Awakening« by Catherine G. Lucas, the founder of the UK Spiritual Crisis Network.
believe me, ego death as a concept makes a lot more sense when you experience a drug induced one. we can discuss it intellectually as much as we want but honestly i dont feel like you can truly understand it fully til you actually physically experience one. i thought i understood ego death prior to my experience but... nothing on earth can prepare you for how literal of a death it is. of course its only a temporary death like you said, cause as long as we are living and conscious the ego will also remain, but i assure you... its very much called ego "death" for a reason. there are no words to describe it, there will never be words to describe it. but ill try my best to find some here. see when you get so high and start hallucinating badly enough that you lose all connection to your sight, smell, touch, hearing, as well as taste, when you lose every one of the memories youve collected since birth, and even your very mind loses its ability to process information, you feel everything that tells you you exist disappear like a rug pulled out from under you. and i promise you, this process very much feels like an actual death. your body starts to panic when the drug begins interfering with your brain's ability to understand things, and it responds to it as though death is actually occurring. your mind fights it for as long as possible and fear adrenaline floods your system. your life literally flashes before your eyes as your mind desperately tries to grasp what is happening to it as more and more layers of you get peeled away. but the more you fight it, the more painful and frightening it gets; and eventually you have no choice but to accept that You. Are. Dying. so you give into the abyss and let go of yourself. at the true moment of ego death you literally experience nothing. you dont have a name, you dont even have a body. you are no different than anyone or anything. you are the universe. you are simply one. everything and yet nothing. and then, after what feels like thousands of years condensed into a single second spent in this state, you decide that you want to exist. and then you do. your ego starts to flood back into you and its the greatest thing ever. all the pain and fear you experienced before starts flowing in reverse and love fills up in its place. at that moment, existing is no longer something you simply do, its something you CHOOSE to do. our ego is what allows us to feel love, and love is only possible through the ego. we exist in order to feel love. we also exist to feel hate. and sadness. and joy. both the positive and the negative are proof that we exist. because what we actually exist to do is just that: exist. we are the universe experiencing itself to fight off the dark abyss of non-existence. they say that the buddha only reached enlightenment after he returned from his meditations and fasting to eat a single grain of rice. likewise any ego death must be followed by a reconciliation with ego because that is where true enlightenment lies. we get to do something amazing, we get to exist. anyone that tells you the ego is unnecessary has never been without their ego. we cant exist without our ego, the ego _is_ our existence. and existence is love
I think a lot of ppl r going through ego death who work work work and have sacrificed until u stripped urself of ur identity and dont know wtf ur doing anymore.
yes, I have purged everything several times. Now I am in non existence. Don"t know what to do, it"s like an empty room. Nothing ignites me anymore. And I used to be so motivated, by creating art, by learning, by many different interests. I am not new to non existence, but this time is way too long, several months now.
I am so grateful for your videos. You are smart and nuanced, and you explain so well complex subjects. Thank you for your beautiful contribution to the world 🖤
I really appreciate that you made this video because I believe I went through many different awakening in wide span and still going through them and all of them are different and open up a different door in my life
This is so helpful!! I bounce around between the purge and nonexistence a lot but then with brief glimpses of connectedness. This will really help give me the language and tools to take care of myself in each place. ❤
It's like I'm at stage 2 but not in a devastating way. Or it's between 2 and 3 because a part of me is clinging to the old (maybe my ego is too sentimental idk). I already quit a job to step into what I'm meant to do but still clinging to the old in some way. I do understand what you mean about being in union with the ego. Trying to get rid of the ego is like trying to get rid of a part of yourself. Great video as always, Ivy!🧡
I had to rewind this like 5 times to understand the first part but the breakdown? Wow. It made so much sense to me. I never really thought about my spiritual enlightenment, until now. Awesome video. It really helped me!
I'm going through something like this rn. I'm an artist w burnout coming out of college, I have to finish my last class in the next month and I have no motivation. I also have a hard time understanding how to face capitalism as an artist. Feeling so directionless.
I am going through the, why the hell am I here, what is the point, ( AND TO ADD TO THE CONFUSION) I know there is way more going on besides "life" than I can comprehend.. Geeze, losing my mind. I moved into the house I love, a couple winters ago. An entity, not sure what it is, started freaking me out. Cabinets slamming, pushing on my side of the bed ( that happens every single night), hearing footsteps running up the stairs, sensing it close or when it enters a room I am occupying, feeling its vibes, good and bad . I have had stuff like that go on since a small child so learning to handle that situation a lot better. I started isolating myself and now can't stand to be around others because of feeling their emotions. I can barely put up with my own right now! I have been meditating for the last couple of months and does seem to help. I just can't seem to connect with this thing in my home! I need answers. If anyone has any helpful advice, I could really use it right now.
Oh I'm so glad! I posted the early access link for channel members about 4 days ago, but now I'm worried some people aren't seeing that. Let me know if you see early access videos? ❤️
Dude, this is so good. I am doing the YT circuit of "spiritual awakening" talks as of late but I have been watching your videos for a while, (was on my personal account before but moved to this one cause I need to separate certain things on here for my own sanity). I am purging now and have been for over a year, Man I hope it ends soon but I am dealing with it the best I know how. And this is not an insult, saying you had your first awakening at 23-25, looking at you, that must have been last year ;) you still look 25 :)
I'm so sorry your purge has lasted so long... Sounds like you've got a lot of things to purge! And LOL thank you for the age compliment. That was a decade ago, so I appreciate that 😂
This was so helpful. Do you have a way to get energies out of you after you have been in a social situation? I've been doing a hook removal. Like envisioning the field around me, and unhooking all the energies that have tethered into me. I gather them up, and send them into the earth to be transmuted into something more positive, with consciousness attached
Thank you for a down to earth explanation 😊 Can I ask something though, only because I'm trying to see if it's the same thing or not. With a spiritual awakening, can there be some focus on a spiritual gift or focus and a type of training involved?
My health issues actually pushed me to spirituality. However my intuition isn’t really there lol wonder if I struggle with meditation cuz I get anxiety when my eyes are closed cuz then I can’t see if anything is coming at me. Long story there lol
I came in to this life very sensitive to to energy but not knowing why.)(past lives, I guess ) Then the stages 1, 2 and 3 came along. It all seems too much.
I so appreciate your videos 🤗 I’ve watched a ton that really get into the theory and chaos magic and so much more. If you happen to see this comment, I’m curious to know how you might go about worshiping/working with a lake as a land spirit/deity. I know magic is a very individual path, but if you feel like responding, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I am from Michigan and have always had a special connection with Lake Michigan. When I moved to North Dakota, I missed it a lot, so last year, I started bringing a jar of Lake Michigan water back with me every time I go to Michigan. I use the water in spells, and also bring a tiny bit to thank local spirits whenever I travel to a new place, especially nature trails, lakes, etc. Other than uses like that, what are other ways I can communicate my love for the Lake and work with Her/It/Them in my life?
Hmmm, that's a really interesting question! I don't think I have ever attempted to connect with the spirit of a large body of water. (Just small amounts of water in like a ritual bath or something.) However, I have heard good things about the book "Water Magic" by Lilith Dorsey. Maybe there would be some rituals and tips in there? I haven't read it myself though. So sorry I can't be more helpful!
Hhahha how much can I agree with you? Quite a large amount hahahha Egos are incredibly essencial! Why would anyone want to live with no way back to oneself? The general population would end up in a Psychiatric hospital if they had an Ego death At least seeing the word 'ego' as it was defined in the beginning I adore that you made this videoooo! Incredible as usual ❤❤
Hi, is there any change i am a siphoner? my spells never work, they do ONLY when im handing someone or something with energy. But nobody talks about siphone magick, so its real? or i am just crazy
hi Ivy! I am comparatively new to your channel, but I am very grateful for your videos and how educational they are. I really liked this video, but I am very scared of having a spiritual awakening because I think that to become anything other than myself is an alien and hostile experience. I understand this is my ego, but I really don't want to accept that truth. I really think the individual I am today should survive forever, even after death. I am not scared of my body's death at all. But I am terrified of ego death. I don't know what I should do to really have a better spiritual life. If you can, please help me.
After going through a really intense spiritual awakening in my 20s (over a decade ago now) I can safely say that my ego is still in tact! You will not lose yourself in this process. Rather, the spiritual awakening process helps you truly find out who you are. It's beautiful! Yes, moments of it can be painful because you may have to let go of things that are no longer serving you. But really, there's nothing to fear with a spiritual awakening. And as I mentioned in the video, ego death really isn't the end goal. The end goal is all about recognizing what your ego is, and walking alongside it ❤️ I hope that helps! You will not become anything but yourself. In fact, you will become MORE yourself by the end of the process.
@@IvyTheOccultist thank you so much for your kind reply. It's great to hear from you. I will try to recontextualize my conception of spiritual awakening and ego death. The thing is, I come from a religious background where the two are basically inseparable. I am very relieved to hear that they can be distinct from each other. Especially hearing it from an experienced person gives me a lot of assurance on my path. Your videos actually rekindled my interest in the spiritual, after I had been on a long hiatus. Now I'm trying to find my way. I am really very grateful for your help, both through this reply and through your channel in general. I wish I could be a channel member, but I'm a broke college student, which I guess you can understand. You are also inspirational in your passion for higher education, Ivy. Thanks a lot.
@@inaju thank you so much for such a kind comment! I really appreciate it. Also, I completely understand... I'm a college student as well and it's rough out here for people like us! Haha. Good luck with your journey ✨
@@IvyTheOccultist keep shining your guiding light, it's much needed by people like us going through our trials and tribulations. Thanks again for everything.
I don't know what happened here. I've read of all these themes, I've heard all the words but somehow you just managed to unlock my life for me. Maybe I was able to hear, idk. So, thank you ❤ for doing something years of therapy or self-analysis didn't manage. I will be returning to this many times. You are precious 🥰
My spiritual awakening started in 2017 when my ex gave me my first ever edible that was extremely strong. I reacted to it like it was mushrooms and had an insane trip where I got a better understanding of what I now know is my higher self and saw past lives. That scared me because I was not spiritual beforehand and I actually tried to fight it. It wasn't until a year and a half later, when I was in the middle of the purge, I finally decided to embrace what I had been feeling and look into witchcraft. I then did what I do best and I did massive amounts of research because what else is someone with a history degree going to do? 😅 It was a rough road but I think it was worth it. I'm in such a better place now!
I had to pause the video because I felt SO compelled to write this (I don’t comment on many videos ever) but I had my own “spiritual awakening” during an incredibly difficult time in my life- a lot of things hit me back to back. My spiritual awakening was so focused around the concept of Ego Death, and it wasn’t something I’ve heard of before. But it became so important overnight, I wrote passages about how one cannot come to true enlightenment without an ego death, without letting go of what you think you know and accepting the lessons being showed to you. The concept of ego death became so important out of absolute nowhere that I can’t explain it otherwise. Idk where it came from but it was there 100%.
💫🖤💜OM GOSH IVY❣️ WHEN is this going to BE Shareable?!? A Long~Time, Dear Witchy GF of Mine Absolutely will Benefit from this RN in her Life🤗 And it's a Great video with witch I may turn her on to Your Channel!!!😉🤙💜🖤💫
Aw good luck to your friend! ❤️ I think the video is shareable right now even though it's set to private. Anyone with the link can view the video. Just let your friend know the video isn't public yet ☺️ Otherwise, I'll be posting it this weekend!
Ivy, this is amazing, how do you do it? How do you take these huge topics and put them into the most perfect arrangement of words making them easy to understand, digest and relate to? Love your channel and think you’re a spectacular teacher. Thank you 💜
I agree! I came to write a similar sentiment. I just needed to hear this today and here it is, providing clarity! It helped me order my thoughts that have been foggy. I have so much gratitude for you being here doing THIS!.
what a great job on such a difficult topic. i'd probably just say read "The Meditations" of Marcus Aurelius, a short and clear book that has guided millions of people on their self-journey. 🪐
I'm going through purge stage. Divorce, medical issues, selling physical items and moving into a trailer. It's all for the best but boy, it's hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank you for this video, it's exactly what I needed to hear. ❤
The purge is rough, but you've got this! ❤️❤️
Wow. First I’d like to thank you, I’ve been somewhat binge watching your channel and I love your content and your energy! This video though…I’m honestly in tears, I had never heard of this before watching it. I have CPTSD and a slew of abusive relationships in the past, 6 years ago I was in one so bad that when I ran, my life spiraled. It was like my life was in complete chaos. I spent years battling depression, anxiety, panic attacks, night terrors, literal hell. I turned back to various forms of witchcraft and with that plus extensive therapy and meditation I got to a place of balance. Then I moved across the country, I felt myself becoming more at peace with myself, then I had the metaphorical and literal rug pulled out from under me a month ago. Hearing you explain this was like hearing someone explain why I had to go through everything I went through and hearing it finally make sense. Thank you so much, this explanation has had a profound impact on me. 💛
I totally agree about alignment of ego & higher self, the Union of the two, rather than total permanent ego death
Glad you agree! ☺️❤️
I'm going through the purge and I didn't even know it. Literally crying rn cuz this resonates so heavily and it's nice knowing that I'm still on the right path and haven't lost myself
Yes! You are definitely still on the path. The light is definitely at the end of the tunnel and you won't be here forever. ❤️
Your point about the certain level of detachment of the Higher Self instantly reminded me of a video I watched discussing the differences between detachment and nonattachment in early Buddhism.
What I gained from that discussion is that detachment is a result of not caring at all; unimportance, ignorance, or insignificance. Nonattachment, however, is a result of not fixating on the results, processes, or methods in which something may manifest; your intentions will change in correlation to your changing needs
i'm in the purge stage and i think the universe wanted me to go all in. Got sick, lost my house, had to move back in my native island selling pretty much 80% of my stuff, i live on my mom''s couch now trying to fight with generational trauma AND good ole childhood trauma, along with that urge to fight against things that feel so unjust, like my mother's lowkey ignorant racist remarks from time to time. while also trying to flash a mirror into my soul to try and catch those unhealthy traits in my own behaviour.
it's... rough... i'm just waiting for some ups, after all these downs.
also speaking of overthinking trying to find a solution, even my cards keep telling me to let the higher ups do their thing and focus on healing. but sometimes it's just so hard and personally, some days i feel lost. i don't know if i'm emotionally ready to let whatever it is out there, help me and guide me. i desperately want to, but i guess i still need to work on my pride and that unreasonable idea of having to do all by myself, cause the universe clearly wants to teach me it's okay to ask for help when needed.
This reminds me of a song chorus. One I've pulled over in my head since I heard it in my childhood, that I think I understand a lot better now.
"Don't you think it's strange
That there's a way
Of how you look and how you act and how you think
Pretend there not the same as you"
And it's song about going through the motions of life without getting to know yourself or the people around you. And this video is helping me understand the connection between so many ideas I've heard in philosophy, psychoanalysis, and just mundane pop culture. The self is not a gestalt of how you look, act, and think. How you look, act, and think are something that only happen in relation to others, to society, to people around you. And none of these are the same as You, the higher self. It reminds me a lot of Lacan and how there is a more You version of yourself at all times. This self analysis seems like a good process for getting an accurate picture of that more you You, and asserting control over how you look, act, and think, which is something I have generally let the people around me control. As a trans person, the gorge between the higher self and the me I've created is wide and deep, but I feel so much closer than ever to bridging that gap as I begin to seriously consider Chaos Magick. This all seems like good process.
For all the seekers out there i highly, highly recommend the Bliss and Grit podcast. It's a lot of tricky concepts laid out clearly and succinctly. It got me through my first purge! 😊
"'When the student is ready the teacher will appear" or, in this case, the video will appear when you need to make sense of it all. I've been working through so much and seemed to have hit a ruddy big roadblock in recent months, but no, it's just stage 3 and 'nonexistence' (that's what my ego's telling me!). I read Tarot and keep pulling the 4 of Swords but couldn't understand why - now I know...rest, recuperate and relax! Brightest of Blessings to you Ivy 💚
I was literally telling her this on her other video. She's got great timing! Good fortune to you!
I went backwards and now im going forwards, so good to know
I feel like I've been in purge-Nonexistence loop for last 20 or so years and I'm finally tipping my toes into Nonexistense and possibility of Connectedness for the first time. Hell of a ride. Let see if I dive back to purge soon. =_=;
Oh My, perfect timing. I do believe I am meant to listen to this over and over. ❤❤
Thank you for this! I had my awakening back in 2018 with my job in healthcare. I just realized I am finally in stage 3 and reconnecting to my body. Which can feel so weird sometimes.
You don't know how much I needed this video. Honestly yesterday I googled "how to know when you're having a spiritual awakening" and I was so confused. Everything seemed so starseedy and that's not what I was looking for. I've been having so many emotions and thoughts and feeling's lately. This video really explained it well. Thank you!
I am so glad this video was helpful! ☺️❤️
My purge has been going on for about 4 years now I'm basically in non-existance. It gets lonely sometimes & I get bouts of nostalgia for my old life, BUT I am at the point of surrender now. Self love is a big part of it & it is definitely a rebirthing process, but its also a new sense of peace. I'm so ready to start reinventing myself but it seems that I am still incubating in this cocoon. Best hopes & wishes for all who are going through the dark night of the soul & their purge. May we all emerge as higher versions of ourselves, ready to take on this crazy world! Thank you so much for tackling this topic. Well done & blessed be!
I'm Jungian, so I agree with what you say on the definitions: The ego is nothing negative but we aim to integrate and aim towards the Self in Jugian terms (the "Higher Self"). "The spiritual awakening" expressed here is the start of the individuation process and some can experience it in their midlife crisis in their thirties. I had it when I was 8 as I had to question my own existence and values when I went to live in a foreign country. It came back when I was 14 and 35 to reassess my life course and professional life. I'm constantly having reassessments and am shifting my way since then. The path is unique to the individual, but my path loosely follows what you are describing here. The interesting thing is that I became more extroverted to balance, and I can allow myself to do so as I have more boundaries compared to when I was younger. Also, I became a medical practitioner/researcher and it doesn't clash with my "witchiness".
I’m going through a Spiritual Awakening without even knowing or maybe I knew but I wasn’t completely aware of it. For me I feel that it hasn’t been linear, sometimes I’m in one stage and the next I go back to the previous one, purging things again… it feels like I’m constantly purging, specially when it comes to family/relatives. At times I feel like I’m purging and grieving at the same time. I don’t know if it makes sense 😅 It does in my mind but I can’t express it well enough.
Great video, by the way❤.I was actually watching your video about How to decondition the mind and you suggested this one, so I needed to watch this first.
wow wow wow. needed to hear this. Gratitude for my own bravery & resilience, and my guides for their help as well.
Ivy, you are such a good teacher! I have studied a lot of psychology and spirituality with different teachers, and your clarity and ability to get to the core of a concept is very impressive! Thank you!❤
Dude, you've explained so much so well! I never fully understood ego until you explained it, I got the definition before, but now I understand the concept. And I am going through the first stage for the second time, this time, I am also going through the second stage. I completely understand when you say death. I genuinely feel death energy in and around me right now (but in the best way). You explained the first stage spot on for me, the second is different though. I am purging and dying and being "reborn" which, doesn't feel like reborn to me, it feels like shedding layers, like skin. I've broken up with my partner and I'm moving in with my sister. But I don't feel depressed or anything like that. I'm fighting a little anxiety, but beyond that, I'm trying very hard to focus on my emotions, give them space to be, process and release them. So I do have upsetting moments, but it's KIND of controlled. Regardless, it feels like the healthiest thing I've ever done.
And what I mean by shedding layers, is, it feels like I'm tearing down walls that I've built up throughout my life, exposing myself to myself and exposing my heart. It's a very vulnerable feeling tbh.
What are your thoughts on plant medicines like psilocybin, sananga, hape', aya, etc to help push us through the dark night? Also, would love to hear your thoughts on using hape' to help quiet the mind during meditation? Thank you for all of your beautiful insight 💜💜💜
I honestly feel as I've been in the purging phase since adolescence.
Thank you... This is very helpful. I was getting really uncomfortable with the 4th one... With boundaries... This help me have a better understanding and perspective to my experience
So eloquently said, thank you. You have a gift for explaining abstract concepts👌
After about 3 years of cycling back and forth between stages 2 and 3, I got to enjoy a blissful 6 months or so of stage 4 before having a brand new awakening and starting the whole cycle again 😅
So much transformation, can't wait to see what happens next!!
Wow! This video set off all sorts of triggers for me. All good!! It helped me realize I have completed the entire process before and it also gave me an idea of why and how everything is going. I'd say I'm finishing up Stage 3 and starting Stage 4 right now. Hearing your explanations has helped remind me the feelings I have are just part of the process and I am making progress. Thank you Ivy!!
I am so glad this resonated with you!! Congrats on entering stage 4! ❤️❤️
Great video! At first, when I read the title, I thought "Oh no!', but you really presented the topic in a refreshing way. Thank you very much for it!
Haha I'm so glad the video didn't leave you with "oh no" 😂😂
This was so helpful and stated in a way that I've never heard before. Thank you!
As always, the messages I need to hear at the right time.
Thank you for this video. 💜 I would like to add something to what you have said. You recommend meditation in stage 2, »the purge«. This of course can be very helpful for neurotypical, healthy people. However, I tried meditation during a depression more than once and it wasn’t possible at all. I also heard from many other people that they have trouble with that. So if people are neurodivergent/and or have mental health issues, meditation may be not always the solution. Very good that you mentioned some alternatives. 😀
I’ve had two profound spiritual experiences some years ago. After them, especially the first one, I got confused as in, how can I integrate this into my life? How can I live my everyday life after I have experienced *that*? Then I was reminded of a really good quote from Zen:
»What does the master do before enlightenment? Fetching water, chopping wood. What does the master do after enlightenment? Fetching water, chopping wood.« Which of course means, if you experience some form of enlightenment or something else deeply spiritual, go on with your daily life. You do not need to leave society, your community. You do not need to become a hermit somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
By the way, if anyone here is interested in reading about accounts of personal experiences with spiritual awakenings (or spiritual emergencies/crises), I can very much recommend this book:
»Breaking Open: Finding a Way Through Spiritual Emergency«, edited by Jules Evans and Tim Read.
Please note that the accounts are not specifically from a pagan or witchcraft/occult perspective, however, I found them quite interesting and insightful.
I haven’t read the following one yet, but it is on my wish list:
»In Case of Spiritual Emergency: Moving Successfully Through Your Awakening« by Catherine G. Lucas, the founder of the UK Spiritual Crisis Network.
Very good advice - thank you for sharing your wisdom! ❤️
You’re a very beautiful human. Inside and out. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
That is so kind; thank you!! ❤️
This was great. Made alot of sense. Tied it all together and a bit more relaxed.
This was such an amazing video that brought a lot of clarity to me. Thank you so much for posting this!
believe me, ego death as a concept makes a lot more sense when you experience a drug induced one. we can discuss it intellectually as much as we want but honestly i dont feel like you can truly understand it fully til you actually physically experience one. i thought i understood ego death prior to my experience but... nothing on earth can prepare you for how literal of a death it is. of course its only a temporary death like you said, cause as long as we are living and conscious the ego will also remain, but i assure you... its very much called ego "death" for a reason. there are no words to describe it, there will never be words to describe it. but ill try my best to find some here.
see when you get so high and start hallucinating badly enough that you lose all connection to your sight, smell, touch, hearing, as well as taste, when you lose every one of the memories youve collected since birth, and even your very mind loses its ability to process information, you feel everything that tells you you exist disappear like a rug pulled out from under you. and i promise you, this process very much feels like an actual death. your body starts to panic when the drug begins interfering with your brain's ability to understand things, and it responds to it as though death is actually occurring. your mind fights it for as long as possible and fear adrenaline floods your system. your life literally flashes before your eyes as your mind desperately tries to grasp what is happening to it as more and more layers of you get peeled away. but the more you fight it, the more painful and frightening it gets; and eventually you have no choice but to accept that You. Are. Dying. so you give into the abyss and let go of yourself.
at the true moment of ego death you literally experience nothing. you dont have a name, you dont even have a body. you are no different than anyone or anything. you are the universe. you are simply one. everything and yet nothing.
and then, after what feels like thousands of years condensed into a single second spent in this state, you decide that you want to exist. and then you do.
your ego starts to flood back into you and its the greatest thing ever. all the pain and fear you experienced before starts flowing in reverse and love fills up in its place. at that moment, existing is no longer something you simply do, its something you CHOOSE to do.
our ego is what allows us to feel love, and love is only possible through the ego. we exist in order to feel love. we also exist to feel hate. and sadness. and joy. both the positive and the negative are proof that we exist. because what we actually exist to do is just that: exist. we are the universe experiencing itself to fight off the dark abyss of non-existence.
they say that the buddha only reached enlightenment after he returned from his meditations and fasting to eat a single grain of rice. likewise any ego death must be followed by a reconciliation with ego because that is where true enlightenment lies. we get to do something amazing, we get to exist. anyone that tells you the ego is unnecessary has never been without their ego. we cant exist without our ego, the ego _is_ our existence. and existence is love
I think a lot of ppl r going through ego death who work work work and have sacrificed until u stripped urself of ur identity and dont know wtf ur doing anymore.
yes, I have purged everything several times. Now I am in non existence. Don"t know what to do, it"s like an empty room. Nothing ignites me anymore. And I used to be so motivated, by creating art, by learning, by many different interests. I am not new to non existence, but this time is way too long, several months now.
I am so grateful for your videos. You are smart and nuanced, and you explain so well complex subjects. Thank you for your beautiful contribution to the world 🖤
That is so kind; thank you so much! ♥️
Thank you for this video ! i can relate to your perspective. Looking forward to learn more about magick / witchcraft
So glad you made this video Ivy. Somehow you have a way of making things make sense. 🥰 Thank you !
I really appreciate that you made this video because I believe I went through many different awakening in wide span and still going through them and all of them are different and open up a different door in my life
So very helpful. A million thanks.
This is so helpful!! I bounce around between the purge and nonexistence a lot but then with brief glimpses of connectedness. This will really help give me the language and tools to take care of myself in each place. ❤
Really hope i have get this video last year, but still glad im getting it now
Oh man, such a fantastic watch!!! X
Thank you for posting this! I feel like I’m trapped going between 2 and 3, but I know I’ll come out the other side ❤
Yes, you will absolutely come out of the other side! ❤️❤️
It's like I'm at stage 2 but not in a devastating way. Or it's between 2 and 3 because a part of me is clinging to the old (maybe my ego is too sentimental idk). I already quit a job to step into what I'm meant to do but still clinging to the old in some way. I do understand what you mean about being in union with the ego. Trying to get rid of the ego is like trying to get rid of a part of yourself. Great video as always, Ivy!🧡
I had to rewind this like 5 times to understand the first part but the breakdown? Wow. It made so much sense to me. I never really thought about my spiritual enlightenment, until now. Awesome video. It really helped me!
I'm so glad it was helpful!! The first half was definitely dense 😂 you are a warrior for rewinding it and watching it 5 times hahaha!
I'm going through something like this rn. I'm an artist w burnout coming out of college, I have to finish my last class in the next month and I have no motivation. I also have a hard time understanding how to face capitalism as an artist. Feeling so directionless.
Thank you! This helps me make sense of what I am experiencing.
I am going through the, why the hell am I here, what is the point, ( AND TO ADD TO THE CONFUSION) I know there is way more going on besides "life" than I can comprehend.. Geeze, losing my mind.
I moved into the house I love, a couple winters ago. An entity, not sure what it is, started freaking me out. Cabinets slamming, pushing on my side of the bed ( that happens every single night), hearing footsteps running up the stairs, sensing it close or when it enters a room I am occupying, feeling its vibes, good and bad . I have had stuff like that go on since a small child so learning to handle that situation a lot better. I started isolating myself and now can't stand to be around others because of feeling their emotions. I can barely put up with my own right now! I have been meditating for the last couple of months and does seem to help. I just can't seem to connect with this thing in my home! I need answers. If anyone has any helpful advice, I could really use it right now.
Yay!! Made my Sunday! Was hoping you would make this video ❤
Oh I'm so glad! I posted the early access link for channel members about 4 days ago, but now I'm worried some people aren't seeing that. Let me know if you see early access videos? ❤️
This was an amazing video! Thanks for posting this Ivy!!
Dude, this is so good. I am doing the YT circuit of "spiritual awakening" talks as of late but I have been watching your videos for a while, (was on my personal account before but moved to this one cause I need to separate certain things on here for my own sanity). I am purging now and have been for over a year, Man I hope it ends soon but I am dealing with it the best I know how. And this is not an insult, saying you had your first awakening at 23-25, looking at you, that must have been last year ;) you still look 25 :)
I'm so sorry your purge has lasted so long... Sounds like you've got a lot of things to purge! And LOL thank you for the age compliment. That was a decade ago, so I appreciate that 😂
@@IvyTheOccultist 💜
Thank you for breaking down the stages and giving your perspective on what happens in each. Stage 2 sucks......
Stage 2 definitely sucks!!!
I needed this video. Thank you!
Great video!
Thank you 🖤
This was so helpful. Do you have a way to get energies out of you after you have been in a social situation? I've been doing a hook removal. Like envisioning the field around me, and unhooking all the energies that have tethered into me. I gather them up, and send them into the earth to be transmuted into something more positive, with consciousness attached
Thank you for a down to earth explanation 😊 Can I ask something though, only because I'm trying to see if it's the same thing or not. With a spiritual awakening, can there be some focus on a spiritual gift or focus and a type of training involved?
My health issues actually pushed me to spirituality. However my intuition isn’t really there lol wonder if I struggle with meditation cuz I get anxiety when my eyes are closed cuz then I can’t see if anything is coming at me. Long story there lol
I came in to this life very sensitive to to energy but not knowing why.)(past lives, I guess
) Then the stages 1, 2 and 3 came along. It all seems too much.
I so appreciate your videos 🤗 I’ve watched a ton that really get into the theory and chaos magic and so much more. If you happen to see this comment, I’m curious to know how you might go about worshiping/working with a lake as a land spirit/deity. I know magic is a very individual path, but if you feel like responding, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I am from Michigan and have always had a special connection with Lake Michigan. When I moved to North Dakota, I missed it a lot, so last year, I started bringing a jar of Lake Michigan water back with me every time I go to Michigan. I use the water in spells, and also bring a tiny bit to thank local spirits whenever I travel to a new place, especially nature trails, lakes, etc. Other than uses like that, what are other ways I can communicate my love for the Lake and work with Her/It/Them in my life?
Hmmm, that's a really interesting question! I don't think I have ever attempted to connect with the spirit of a large body of water. (Just small amounts of water in like a ritual bath or something.) However, I have heard good things about the book "Water Magic" by Lilith Dorsey. Maybe there would be some rituals and tips in there? I haven't read it myself though. So sorry I can't be more helpful!
Hhahha how much can I agree with you? Quite a large amount hahahha
Egos are incredibly essencial! Why would anyone want to live with no way back to oneself?
The general population would end up in a Psychiatric hospital if they had an Ego death
At least seeing the word 'ego' as it was defined in the beginning
I adore that you made this videoooo! Incredible as usual ❤❤
So glad you resonated with this!!
Hi, is there any change i am a siphoner? my spells never work, they do ONLY when im handing someone or something with energy. But nobody talks about siphone magick, so its real? or i am just crazy
Do you offer readings or one on one help for a deeper insight into our personal journey? 💜💫
hi Ivy! I am comparatively new to your channel, but I am very grateful for your videos and how educational they are. I really liked this video, but I am very scared of having a spiritual awakening because I think that to become anything other than myself is an alien and hostile experience. I understand this is my ego, but I really don't want to accept that truth. I really think the individual I am today should survive forever, even after death. I am not scared of my body's death at all. But I am terrified of ego death. I don't know what I should do to really have a better spiritual life. If you can, please help me.
After going through a really intense spiritual awakening in my 20s (over a decade ago now) I can safely say that my ego is still in tact! You will not lose yourself in this process. Rather, the spiritual awakening process helps you truly find out who you are. It's beautiful! Yes, moments of it can be painful because you may have to let go of things that are no longer serving you. But really, there's nothing to fear with a spiritual awakening. And as I mentioned in the video, ego death really isn't the end goal. The end goal is all about recognizing what your ego is, and walking alongside it ❤️ I hope that helps! You will not become anything but yourself. In fact, you will become MORE yourself by the end of the process.
@@IvyTheOccultist thank you so much for your kind reply. It's great to hear from you. I will try to recontextualize my conception of spiritual awakening and ego death. The thing is, I come from a religious background where the two are basically inseparable. I am very relieved to hear that they can be distinct from each other. Especially hearing it from an experienced person gives me a lot of assurance on my path. Your videos actually rekindled my interest in the spiritual, after I had been on a long hiatus. Now I'm trying to find my way. I am really very grateful for your help, both through this reply and through your channel in general. I wish I could be a channel member, but I'm a broke college student, which I guess you can understand. You are also inspirational in your passion for higher education, Ivy. Thanks a lot.
@@inaju thank you so much for such a kind comment! I really appreciate it. Also, I completely understand... I'm a college student as well and it's rough out here for people like us! Haha. Good luck with your journey ✨
@@IvyTheOccultist keep shining your guiding light, it's much needed by people like us going through our trials and tribulations. Thanks again for everything.
I don't know what happened here. I've read of all these themes, I've heard all the words but somehow you just managed to unlock my life for me. Maybe I was able to hear, idk. So, thank you ❤ for doing something years of therapy or self-analysis didn't manage. I will be returning to this many times. You are precious 🥰
I'm so glad this video was helpful!! Hugs ❤️❤️
My spiritual awakening started in 2017 when my ex gave me my first ever edible that was extremely strong. I reacted to it like it was mushrooms and had an insane trip where I got a better understanding of what I now know is my higher self and saw past lives. That scared me because I was not spiritual beforehand and I actually tried to fight it. It wasn't until a year and a half later, when I was in the middle of the purge, I finally decided to embrace what I had been feeling and look into witchcraft. I then did what I do best and I did massive amounts of research because what else is someone with a history degree going to do? 😅 It was a rough road but I think it was worth it. I'm in such a better place now!
So glad you are in a better place now! ❤️
I had to pause the video because I felt SO compelled to write this (I don’t comment on many videos ever) but I had my own “spiritual awakening” during an incredibly difficult time in my life- a lot of things hit me back to back. My spiritual awakening was so focused around the concept of Ego Death, and it wasn’t something I’ve heard of before. But it became so important overnight, I wrote passages about how one cannot come to true enlightenment without an ego death, without letting go of what you think you know and accepting the lessons being showed to you. The concept of ego death became so important out of absolute nowhere that I can’t explain it otherwise. Idk where it came from but it was there 100%.
💫🖤💜OM GOSH IVY❣️
WHEN is this going to BE Shareable?!? A Long~Time, Dear Witchy GF of Mine Absolutely will Benefit from this RN in her Life🤗 And it's a Great video with witch I may turn her on to Your Channel!!!😉🤙💜🖤💫
Aw good luck to your friend! ❤️ I think the video is shareable right now even though it's set to private. Anyone with the link can view the video. Just let your friend know the video isn't public yet ☺️ Otherwise, I'll be posting it this weekend!
Ivy, this is amazing, how do you do it? How do you take these huge topics and put them into the most perfect arrangement of words making them easy to understand, digest and relate to?
Love your channel and think you’re a spectacular teacher. Thank you 💜
That is such a high compliment; thank you so much! ❤️☺️🙏
I agree! I came to write a similar sentiment. I just needed to hear this today and here it is, providing clarity! It helped me order my thoughts that have been foggy. I have so much gratitude for you being here doing THIS!.
Nice timing to post about « ego death » while venus leo goes retrograde 😎
what a great job on such a difficult topic. i'd probably just say read "The Meditations" of Marcus Aurelius, a short and clear book that has guided millions of people on their self-journey. 🪐
Can't go wrong with some Marcus Aurelius! 😆 And thank you!