I've literally never related more to the thought process of "I think I look nice, but no one is interested, so am I crazy? Is there something wrong with me?" FINALLY someone put it into words
i"ve thought this for a loooong while. but just know its never that. it could be, and even if it was then it doesnt matter at all because there isnt anything wrong with u. unfortunately i think its the same as seeing someone attractive online and still not wanting to date them. its something i have to remind myself a lot and sometimes its quite hard to sink in
Same, I've never really thought I was super ugly or anything. I know I look nice, but nobody likes me but I've gotten over it because I don't really like anybody either.
*"I lowkey have given up on love "* : Hearing this , I personally think that love comes when you least expect it and when it's not your number 1 goal and focus .
Hmm interesting… I was on the vibe of being self sufficient and happily single for 2 years and love never came, lol. But I was okay with it. But now I am ready for a relationship so I’m navigating that feeling
Dude you´re 19 years old. You´r litterally a baby. Don´t overthink this, you WILL find love. You´re georgeus, have an awesome sence of style and seem like a super nice person. Don´t rush into it.
As someone who got into their first relationship 2 months before turning 20, I can tell you that romantic connections happen so randomly and takes a lot of luck to meet someone you click with and find attractive. I was always "the single friend" growing up and only started going on dates after I turned 18, so I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm now single again at 22 and I'm truly enjoying it now that I know what a relationship feels like. As annoying as this sounds, the cliché sayings "love happens when you least expect it" and "you'll find someone when you stop looking" have some serious truth to them 💀
i just saw this comment 5 months after but it brought me to tears. at 18 i got into my first relationship and thought she was the one, it was unhealthy, we broke up and i kept on going on dates after dates until i kind of gave up. then 2 years ago, i met someone and there was that romantic connection again at the randomest time in my life, and when i least expected it. fast forward to now, im 21 and single again. but to have met these people and experienced such love has really given me a new perspective on how i can live my life now. so thank you for this comment :)
i feel like we're the same person :0 this video was the most relatable piece of content i've ever watched! thank u for being so open & honest & remember that we're in this together lol, happy vday
the part about someone giving you any sort of attention, thinking that they like you and then questioning if you're in love with them is so relatable :'(
I definitely relate. Being in my 20s and never dated or even kissed someone. I don't even remember the last time I had a crush. It's hard seeing your friends get in and out of relationships for years and never just get the opportunity to experience the roller coaster that is love.
I feel this! I just turned 20 a few months back and growing up I definitely was the least attractive/ weird friend so I never got attention. And once I grew out of my awkward phase I just never got crushes so it’s hard wanting to be in a relationship but not finding anyone I actually want to be in a relationship with!
@@savvanahmariee that's exactly the type of comment I was expecting here, and I'm just popping in to say: check out the meanings of aromantic, asexual and queerplatonic relationship (QPR)! It might not be for you, but it could also open a new world for you. Because, y'know, some people just don't get romatic crushes ever and that's ok :)
Dating apps aren’t designed to get people to fall in love with each other, just a tool to potentially give an excuse for two parties to interact. So if anyone feels bad after using them, it’s not you. These apps just aren’t able to do what they’re marketed for
I relate so much to the ‘being insecure about your personality’ part, except I feel like my personality is too soft and people find me boring or not interesting enough.
Bullshit, I used to think so too and people used to tell me that this was my problem with finding a date. Then I found my bf who loves me for my soft and sensitive personality. I was also told that you need to get confident and such, nah I have zero self confidence and he doesn’t mind. It’s really a matter of luck in finding a person that clicks with you, don’t worry about your personality ^^
When Dustin started talking about the preferences issue: *Black men have entered the chat.* In all seriousness though, I hear dating is significantly harder for asian men and black women. Both demographics are negatively portrayed as undesirable in the dating community so you're not hallucinating on that front.
As a girl who is the same age as you, I really appreciate your honesty in your videos because it helps to know there is someone out there who is experiencing the same effects of “crush culture”. And thanks to that, I do not feel like I am the weirdest person even though I didn’t have any romantic experience yet, especially in Saint Valentine’s Day
ok out of context but I wanted to say that I just love the fact that as a non english speaker I can understand almost every word you're saying and still enjoy the video and im so happy and satisfied because of that
going through the “lowering your standards” because feeling like you’re out of options, i felt that! took me few horrible dates to realize that it’s okay to have standards that needs to be met and i’m not asking for too much
I feel this so hard, I'm 23 & never had a boyfriend (even a childhood 1 week one)& haven't kissed anyone. I'd say I'm objectively actually pretty attractive & nice and have had the same thoughts as you, while everyone else was out doing teenager things I was home dealing with my mental health completely alone, being even too scared to talk to people who weren't my group of friends at school(I had huge anxiety/depression issues, they're a lot better now but am now more dealing with avoidant personality disorder). I think it's easier when you're a kid because you're not expected to have relationships, let alone ones that last but when you're 18+ people expect you to have done everything. It's hard feeling 10 years behind where you feel you should be. Last summer there was a guy that came into where I work who looked like Cheyenne Jackson and asked me if I wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride with him but I panicked and said I wasn't looking for anything, I immediately regretted it because he was both hot & nice & ffs that could've been my future husband idk lol but I also know that I never would've been able to go through with it. I've somewhat resigned myself to being alone & pushing away even the slightest sign of interest even though there isn't any & these days for some reason can't even seem to get out a sentence without it sounding like random gibberish....& I wonder why I'm alone hope you were looking for sob stories :p
I used to have this same mentality when I was your age (I'm 26, but saying "when I was your age" makes me feel so old haha). I always thought "oh boys just don't like me and idk why" and "why don't the guys I like ever like me back?" I was extremely shy and boys made me anxious because I didn't really know how to interact with them, especially when I was interested in someone. But LITERALLY, and I kid you not, the second I actually stopped caring about finding someone, I started dating my first boyfriend (at the age of 23 btw), and he is now my fiance. I never saw him coming, but I'm so so lucky to have him in my life. Someday you'll meet someone that you'll never expect to marry someday, but stranger things could happen haha so relax and stop worrying, your person will find you at the right time and when you least expect it ❤
This gives me so much confidence somehow? Thank you for sharing! I‘m 21 rn and I‘ve never been kissed, never had a boyfriend (if you exclude childish rs at the age of 12) and I totally related to dustin! It‘s sometimes scarry that it hasn‘t happened for me yet? So reading your comment was rlly nice, so thank you!
I hear a lot of people saying the “love finds you when you stop trying” adage. For me this was always tough to hear because my lack of “success” in the romantic field made me feel so bad about myself that it was hard for me to ever feel like I could stop caring/trying. The summer I turned 22 I decided “enough is enough” and went on about 10 tinder dates in a month… and found my boyfriend! He is lovely. So for me, love came because I was trying really hard haha. I don’t know the point of sharing this other than to say that it is normal to have a lot of heavy feelings about this topic. I love Maddie Dragsbaek’s “emotionally unavailable” series about processing her feelings about dating.
I think its hard hearing the whole "love finds you when you stop trying" from other people. I mean i havent tried the past 22 years and nothings happened so maybe i do have to put myself out there. Really happy to hear you took your wants into your own hands~
I have been using dating apps for many years but I have always found shitty people pervert and me I desidere so bad a bf and here i am at 23 y.o and still trying but with no results ('; so I think finding love is also issue of luck
@@donk2316 what’s funny about this quote is that it applies only to people who are more social. Both me and my boyfriend are total introverts, so if I haven’t been actively searching for a boyfriend on reddit dating subreddits then we wouldn’t ever meet since we both don’t go out at all haha
the being convinced someone is in love/interested in you when they do some basic human interaction with you (being nice/picking something up for you) is SUCH call out i was simply baffled by myself in this study room.
I didn’t have any romantic experiences until I was 21 and left my hometown. One thing I will say in favor of that (not that it was a choice lmao) is that the first relationship is much more likely to last a significant amount of time because you’re self assured and generally know how to manage connections better as an adult. Even when that relationship did end a few years later, I felt self assured in that I’d been single for two decades and I can definitely be single again. Was weirdly like returning to an old friend.
It's so scary admitting your lack of dating experience and just luck when it comes to dating in general. I have never related so much to one's thoughts and I feel so seen! Needless to say, thanks so much for sharing
05:00 movies are giving us this weird illusion that all you need to be lovable is being pretty and a decent person but the reality is, is that timing and life circumstances are a real thing. Also let‘s be honest many of us I assume, me included, are not even trying to put ourselves out there and I feel like we need to go out to make the opportunity for others to fall in love with us 08:54 THIS IS ME OMG! And yk once a guy even told me that I was intimidating only from the way I dressed? Like? Hello?
Dustin when u said you've started giving up on finding a relationship I really felt that , before I used to get insecure over the fact that I've never been in a relationship or couldn't find love , but now it has stopped bothering me it's like I've stopped looking for love all together! I'm fine being by myself I like my friends I like how I'm growing as a person rn at this state of life I like the progress I'm making to persue my passions it's just fine now 💞😌🧿
According to half of the comment section on this video and 100% of all well meaning aunties and friends everywhere, love should show up at your doorstep any second now since you're not looking for it 🤷♀️
Being a black woman living in Japan has made me feel so ugly even though I know I’m not. The men here seem to want Japanese women (foreign and Japanese), leaving people like me with few options. So it’s been a bit tough. I’m still trying my best but it’s def hard. Dating apps make it worse I think too. But hang in there!
I finally had a thought this Valentines Day. I was looking at all these things that couples do and thinking "Damn I want to do things like this" and then I thought, why don't I? Otherwise I'll just never do anything. So I've just booked myself a day trip and I'm going to the Ballet. I'll take myself on nice dates.
I'm seeing a lot of comments about giving up on love, so I just want to say: there is someone out there for literally everyone. Even if you're (conventionally) ugly and have a terrible personality, there is someone for you. It's a big world! On a more helpful note: If you want to be in a relationship, try expanding your social circle. If you're in college, join some clubs you wouldn't normally think about joining. If you're out of school, try picking up a new hobby (that involves other people, obviously).
When you mentioned looking at other people and wondering how they got someone, and you can't get anyone!!! That was me in December at my old job. I was like IT HAS TO BE ME!! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?! So yeah you're definitely not the only one.
Honestly, I think the most important part in whether somebody dates you, is not about how interesting you are, but if you are able to find a common ground with each other. Like maybe your stuff is interesting, but are you willing to find and promote those characteristics in each other and together. Like shared interests, just like you have with your friends. You do not have to be too similar it is more about how willing you are to open up, share and listen. Then you will what will happen. A romantic relationship is just like any other human relationship and worrying ain't helpful most of the time, but when no offers from anybody in any romantic direction occur, we get frustrated and worry. Then only an outgoing and open-eyed lifestyle can help. Or just accepting that you are enough on your own and what else will come, will come.
giggling bc when he said rate 1-10 i immediately screamed “YOURE A TEN “ and immediately slapped my hand on my mouth due to the embarrassment of answering so fast LMFAO
hearing your experience its so validating!! i also never got any romantic attention in my teenage years and that has fucked me up a bit. i never paid attention to it but now that im in college, everyone seems so experienced in that field and my high school friends are also going out on dates and i just feel like,,, im missing out on something really important, like im broken or something
ur not broken !! tbh i think romantic love is just this uncontrollable and unpredictable being. it happens whenever and wherever it wants. trust me i still question myself sometimes now about how i haven’t experienced anything but it’s ok! it’ll come around. in reality it’s just a fat load of FOMO
@@dustinvuong yeah, you are right. we'll be fine if we don't get into a relationship soon, i dont miss it bc i have never been in one but i do miss the intimacy and the special connection with somebody, i had that w my friends from hs but i don't feel it yet w my college friends and im already in my sophomore year :/ and (ig) the quick way to get that type of connection is getting into a romantic relationship?? do you experience this?? thank u for responding, i really appreciated it
seeing that we have so much in common makes me feel 100x better, like the “how did they get into a relationship” that always made me feel bad too. & the dating apps too ! so relatable T^T
after heartbreak, overtime i started to perceive love as more logical and scientific. it is kinda sad because i want to believe in fate and the "right one" but it is scarier to rely on this idea if nothing ever ends up happening. after pain, i began to build up high expectations in people and relationships like its a shield from hurt. i hope one day i can believe in love again
OHHHHH WOWWWWWW i felt this ENTIRE video! everything you've said from comparing how you aren't in a relationship yet to feeling maybe unexperienced or the want for validation is EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!!! i've honestly never related more to a video, and you should know that you are indeed not alone 😭 i am experiencing everything you're mentioning and feeling and i understand how PAINFUL it is sometimes. hopefully, we'll all get through it though :)
Maybe… you just aren’t someone who is going to settle for someone mediocre like all the people you see in relationships right now. You know yourself well enough to know when something isn’t going to work and rather than letting your fear of being alone push you into something stupid, you are strong enough to wait for something better that one day they will be jealous of
Honestly I feel you, but also sometimes I wonder if I'm scared of being loved? Like maybe there actually are options/chances I could take, but something in me keeps me from doing that or even recognizing them cause I can't believe they'd be there for me or cause I'm scared. Idk. Maybe there's way more out there for you than you can see atm? Just know that you're amazing Dustin. You seem so loveable tbh.
Why are you literally plucking the exact same thoughts out of my head 👀🥺 ngl I felt like sobbing after hearing you verbalise the feelings I’ve been feeling but kinda pushing away cuz I feel like it’s not right to think that way
I really love how honest you are and that you share it, especially about the part about talking about preferences and the complexities around that! As an Asian-American woman, while I don't think I've ever had other Asian women in my life directly say that they're only into white guys, I think it's implicitly indicated and perhaps even expected of me. I mean, full respect for people to like who they like, but just a pattern I've observed in my life. I don't personally identify with that and resonated very deeply when you touched on that topic!
oh my, the literally amount of things I related to in this video is crazy. I heard someone say that it's easier to find love the more people you meet and interact with so I guess that's why dating apps are so popular. But personally, it is just not how I want to find love so I've never been on them. I also have a close-knit group of female friends and we literally never go out. So it is hard to really meet anyone but I also feel like society places so many romantic expectations on us young that I personally am not even ready for now and which can make us feel shitty when they don't happen even though it's so common. Also, I watched this video which talked about the difference between high standards and high expectations. Saying that we should keep our standards high because they are core qualities rather than our expectations which focus more on specific things that don't affect peoples core values. So king keep those standards high. I actually know quite a lot of hot, intelligent and creative people who are in the same situation as us. I also think one good thing about it is it can make us realise a lot of things such as the beauty of platonic relationships, self-love, independence, you know you know. Anyways love the vid and I'm literally wondering the same things as you so we in it together!
I empathize so much. I was 21 when I had my first (very short lived) relationship with someone I wasn't super interested in just because he was the first person to be interested in dating me. But seriously just hang in there because things happen when you least expect it. I'm still waiting for my first real relationship at 23, but within this year it felt like suddenly so many people were interested in me. The first time it happened I was shocked. Two people at a party were into me and when someone else informed me of that I reflexively asked them why. Since then it's happened more times and I've had to slowly accept that MAYBE I'm NOT hideous despite 22 years of basically no one showing interest in me romantically. Life is a weird ride but eventually it will work out (I'm also hoping that for myself but I believe it for us both!)
I often sabotage my relationships. Mb its more on my mental health, but idk if i really wanna be in love or its all social pressure and jealousy. Love your new style
About being the one who initiates things. I used to do that with my friends quite a lot. Then I slowly noticed they were never the ones to text first. So I decided to just stop to see if they would ever text me. (Nowadays they're all people I never see automatically in my everyday life.) More than a year passed, and then one of them texted. And I get it, life is stressful with school, work, mental health and all, but come one... Over the last 5-10 years I've gotten burnt out, been depressed, just been sad in general, and now I have more social anxiety than ever and struggle to leave my house at all. Even during all this, I've tried to keep in touch with them. When we did talk and meet, they were (still are) the nicest people I know. And I miss them a lot. But it's just gotten weird trying to ''force'' myself into their lives.
The initiating thing is real FOR REAL! I just have two friends who really initiate stuff and they're the only ones I hang out with. The ppl who don't show interest in meeting me and hanging out I just stop initiate stuff with them especially when the relationship has gone for more than 2 months, shyness and insecurity are not good excuses
I feel like love comes at the most unexpected time, when you're not necessarily looking. Whenever I read a love story or a book with romance involved, its always the person minding their business then BAM someone comes in their life that they end up falling for without plan- if that makes sense.
ok but i love how everyone in the comment section is on the same wavelength as me coz like i definitely felt every single word that you ever said in the video like thats literally my thought process every time im taking a shower or sumn it's literally the monologue that goes on in my head! thanku for making this dustin
this video is so relatable i can't stress it enough. especially about always taking the initiative with your friends and like in romantic relationships i too would like to be at the receiving end for once.
i can especially relate to you on how you feel inferior or unlovable because you’ve never been in a relationship or nobody has given you attention. i feel like i’m pretty and i’m a cool person, but since nobody has ever wanted to date me it feels like i’m nothing.
recently came out of a long term relationship that just got unhealthy overtime. what i learned is this: do not jump at something or someone for the sake of the experience. i wanted the experience. and i got it. and it got bad :D just be very careful and whatever you do, don’t. lower. your. standards.
What I figured with flirting and starting to talk to someone is to act how I am. If you’re an initiator and extroverted present yourself as one, I’d you don’t start the conversation and enthusiastically keep it going then you’re not presenting how you are so you won’t find someone who likes you. Dating apps are superficial and first impressions matter a lot, you won’t know if someone matches your energy if you don’t show it.
Speaking of standards, I agree w/ you. I actually thought that I had high standards before but then I saw the "bare minimum" videos and realized that my standards... are pretty standard
omg, I can relate to you so well ahhhh. Especially the part with the kindness of others. Ouh wow that person is always SO SWEET to me... Do TheY lIke Me? Am I in love?! Like I can't even tell whether I'm truly liking someone or I'm just liking the possibility of being liked.
This video literally came at the best time 😭. Lately I've been more adamant about wanting to date people and having a meaningful relationship, since the only example of a good relationship I had was with someone I didn't officially date, it was my best friend. I want to be able to find someone organically and have them like me and me like them back. I wouldn't want to hold back my feelings because they don't feel the same way or constantly question why I'm not good enough for them. I used to be that way at least, now I have more confidence and I'm less shy and I want to go out and meet people my age. But it's just hard. I overthink so much and the people I get interested in end up only wanting to be my friend. At some point I wondered if I'm even dateable. But hopefully I'll be transferring to a university this fall and I'll be able to find someone there. I agree that having high standards isn't a problem at all too. And it's a way of also protecting your heart from someone you know isn't the best for you. You want to be with someone so badly that it starts to not matter as much to you. But it does matter, a lot. Don't sell yourself short because you're lonely, I almost made that mistake. Know your worth!
Thank you Dustin for being a reflection of my brain for the last 2 months. 😂 I'm glad that I'm literally having the exact same thoughts as someone else. Moving across the world and trying to navigate what people find attractive here is quite challenging. Especially since everyone is so nice as well. Also being in a predominantly white country people have tended to only go for me for the soul purpose of dating a "black/African girl." And coming to terms with having high standards being a good thing cause my friends think that they're pretty high but it's my standards they're supposed to be for me which was a great point to make in the video. But ya this video was so therapeutic cause it's all of my thoughts in one spot and shows that I'm not abnormal for experiencing these things.
Yea, the dating apps thing. I was really interested in a guy and I was really going for it, which I never do (so you know how much I liked this guy). I think he's so attractive. I got to know him through college. When I saw his whatsapp profile picture I thought "Huh... If he still had that haircut I probably never would've thought he was attracive.". I saw his instagram, and the way he posts on there, and thought "Huh... He really doesn't seem like the kind of person I would be this interested in.". But all of that was nothing compared to when my friend showed me his profile on bumble (I don't have any dating apps myself, so my friend coming across him there was an absolute treat). Oh my god... I wouldn't have liked him at all if I didn't know him. Even his description. He's a dj ffs. And I love it, I still go to his dj sets. But seeing the way he phrased all of that he just comes across as a pretentious hipster. While in reality he's really interesting and so genuine. AND HE PICKED TO MOST UGLY PICTURE OF HIMSELF THAT I HAD EVER SEEN. Seriously... He could do so much better. There's something so strange about how I see him online and in real life. Cause knowing how genuine he is, it makes sense. But if I didn't know him personally I'd probably dislike him. And then knowing that and swiping with my friend on her profile makes it so sad. Cause there are probably a lot of people that we would really like if we actually met them, but online they just come across so bad.
Next time someone asks me what do you feel about love I'll send them this video. This is exactly I feel. Thank you for making this video and validating my feelings :')
You got this bro. I got my first partner at 28. It's a numbers game. You got the right idea. Go out there and chat up a lot of folks. I saw your video on friendship and you have all the right pieces in place. I think it's also a consequence of maybe being a bit more careful about things than your peer group, too. Like the dating profiles you mention sound slapdash whereas yours is very thoughtful. I'm Asian and I had the same issue, I was confident, but I wasn't raised to casually flirt with people. Being ignored made me feel very insecure about my features, too, but I found someone amazing who loves all the stuff about me I kinda don't. You've got all the pieces, you just gotta put them together. Best of luck buddy.
omfg im exactly the same as you. i just turned 20 a couple weeks ago and i still havent kissed or dated anyone or even had the opportunity to, like i havent even rejected anyone. its definitely made me wonder if theres something wrong with me that makes me not attract other people. like you im a thinker (intp) and by my own standards and many other peoples standards i would consider myself pretty attractive and generally have a good personality (???i guess???) but just nothings ever happened for me. i feel and worry that ill just be alone forever and have honestly gotten used to that and comfortable always being independent and alone, but a lot of the time i just feel so incredibly lonely and undesirable. its shitty to bring this up to other people too because they’ll say stuff like oh being single is great or i shouldn’t look for romantic validation or often think of me as some innocent little kid when im a literal woman. ugh
I could make a hole essay about how this vid fitted perfectly in every aspect on me, but im just gonna say that the fact that there's so many beautiful people, inside and out, relating to this made me have second thoughts about the way I look at myself, thank u for that. Have an amazing life everyone!!! xx
you have so much time still, when you least expect it, it just happens. you finally click with someone. i didn't date anyone until i turned 21, and have been in two long term relationships since. i think the key is just being open but keep working on your life, someone will come at the right time. Lovely video btw!
i actually feel the exact same way except with friendships! i feel like i seem pretty cool + i have a good sense of style but I haven't been making friends at college, and it worries me a lot. sending love, we got this :) 💗
I loved this video EVERY SINGLE second it was super related to me, i feel you 100% and also not to mention when FINALLY someone maybe shows a little interest or gives you a compliment, in my case I PANIC and just run away hahaha i am gonna be single forever
I hope everyone will someday meet someone who makes them feel like they're on top of the world I've been in relationships but they've never been good i'm only 22 so I have time but don't rush into relationships like I did. they mostly turn out horrible because you and your partner have an idealized version of you and once you don't meet that it just feels so weird so get to know ppl before fully dating.
I know love comes when you least expect it. My problem is that when somebody i just being nice to me my mind already pictures a relationship with them because I'm so love deprived. And i hate to do that but I can't stop myself.
Dustin , you look great seriously never doubt about it . Also I don't share my opinion, i just face the reality. It's just vers toxic to judge someone on his appearance. Thanks for sharing your opinion with us. With love from france
everything that you said in this video rings so true for me, it feels like i’m watching a video on the conversations i have with myself daily. it’s so nice to hear all of this put into words, and know that i’m also not alone in the weird comparison cycle between myself and people who get into relationships, and the whole “am i just not good enough” feeling even though i’m more confident in myself then i have ever been. thank you, and you’re one of the people that make me comfy knowing i have never had a serious relationship because if someone as cool as you is in the same boat then i must be ok.
Dustin, when I first stumbled across one of your vids (the one that starts with u making coffee in ur kitchen) I showed my friends and I was like “THIS, this is my type”… I just want to let u know, u r attractive, u have a wonderful vibrant personality, and i may have a little crush. DONT BE INSECUREEE
I love this video. I relate to you so much. And you expressing your thoughts and feelings makes me feel more valid. Especially the whole having high ideals but lowering my standards or obsessing over anyone who is kind to me or expresses interest in me. Now I'm just a hopeless romantic who is done searching for a partner and is just trying to focus on myself and improving my life overall.
Omg I’m 28 now but 21 year old me could’ve made this EXACT video (except for the fact that I’m super introverted haha). At least in my experience, things will better in the dating department but it’s super important to know your worth and have boundaries because people will take advantage of you/of your naivety due to being new to dating. Also a lot of insecurities from being a late bloomer and feeling “undateable” for so long don’t always go away once you find someone but don’t let those possible insecurities hold you back. Good luck
I watched some of your videos and we literally think about life the same way :D. It's nice because I've never met anyone who thinks like this and it's good to know that it's okay to be like this.
Seeing dustin's growth through the valentines videos is tear breaking. It started off with the cute vlog type videos and now seems more mature and almost "romantic".
NINETEEN!?!? Okay you probably have heard this many times but you are so young. I'm 24 going on 25 and I'm BARELY getting a healthy grasp of what a romantic relationship should be. BUT VALID U GOT THIS!!
helloooo i totally understand this video but recently I have begun to view love in a different way. I view love less as something that I will stumble into or somehing I will discover, and instead I view it as something I actively participate in. This helps me understand that if I am not searching for love, real love is most likely something I will not discover. And its important to make first steps ourselves, because although rejection hurts, missing out/losing expirences hurts more. But I cant lie I do feel sad, or unloved when those around me arent making the first move. Also the eye contact thing is something I relate to so muuuchhhhh, but I reccomend practicing all of the time, I lowkey stare my friends down sometimes to get more comfortable, and if I am interested in someone it is so powerful. I dunno I am kind of using this comment section as a way to pour out my feelings so, ty :)
i havent read the full title and have been sitting in a face mask through the dinner 💀 also for ypur looks and personality: if somebody *clicks* w/ u, they just *click*, if that makes sense lmao once u find someone that matches ur energy looks wont matter! just look at jane birkin, a lot of ppl say her bf was ugly, but they were SUCH a good couple! and honestly i feel like my standards are too high lol its hard to find someone that im actually into, but i know that theres no sense in forcing myself into a relationship w/ someone thats not my type, so i definitely agree on that i think you shouldnt worry abt it, a lot of ppl get into a relationship a lot later than you! theres no reason to look for somebody just to *have* somebody
I've literally never related more to the thought process of "I think I look nice, but no one is interested, so am I crazy? Is there something wrong with me?" FINALLY someone put it into words
Bruh same......
i"ve thought this for a loooong while. but just know its never that. it could be, and even if it was then it doesnt matter at all because there isnt anything wrong with u. unfortunately i think its the same as seeing someone attractive online and still not wanting to date them. its something i have to remind myself a lot and sometimes its quite hard to sink in
Same, I've never really thought I was super ugly or anything. I know I look nice, but nobody likes me but I've gotten over it because I don't really like anybody either.
Righttttt for real 😓
I had these exact thoughts today, this video was exactly what I needed, like scarily so 👻
*"I lowkey have given up on love "* : Hearing this , I personally think that love comes when you least expect it and when it's not your number 1 goal and focus .
i feel like all young people go through that phase, i did and i’m just coming out of it
I actually tell myself that to not cry myself at night everytimes I watch a romance movie 😄
Factsss
Hmm interesting… I was on the vibe of being self sufficient and happily single for 2 years and love never came, lol. But I was okay with it. But now I am ready for a relationship so I’m navigating that feeling
i rlly agree with this!! also 777 likes
Dude you´re 19 years old. You´r litterally a baby. Don´t overthink this, you WILL find love. You´re georgeus, have an awesome sence of style and seem like a super nice person. Don´t rush into it.
As someone who got into their first relationship 2 months before turning 20, I can tell you that romantic connections happen so randomly and takes a lot of luck to meet someone you click with and find attractive. I was always "the single friend" growing up and only started going on dates after I turned 18, so I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm now single again at 22 and I'm truly enjoying it now that I know what a relationship feels like. As annoying as this sounds, the cliché sayings "love happens when you least expect it" and "you'll find someone when you stop looking" have some serious truth to them 💀
TRUE
Oh my gosh I can relate to this. 😅
IM THE EXACT SAME
Me too Omg but me at 21 and now single at 23 🥹
i just saw this comment 5 months after but it brought me to tears. at 18 i got into my first relationship and thought she was the one, it was unhealthy, we broke up and i kept on going on dates after dates until i kind of gave up. then 2 years ago, i met someone and there was that romantic connection again at the randomest time in my life, and when i least expected it. fast forward to now, im 21 and single again. but to have met these people and experienced such love has really given me a new perspective on how i can live my life now. so thank you for this comment :)
i feel like we're the same person :0 this video was the most relatable piece of content i've ever watched! thank u for being so open & honest & remember that we're in this together lol, happy vday
same here tbh!!
AAAAAA THe whole video i was like SAMEEE
SAMEEEE OMG
Same
Agree with every word babes
the part about someone giving you any sort of attention, thinking that they like you and then questioning if you're in love with them is so relatable :'(
I definitely relate. Being in my 20s and never dated or even kissed someone. I don't even remember the last time I had a crush. It's hard seeing your friends get in and out of relationships for years and never just get the opportunity to experience the roller coaster that is love.
I feel this! I just turned 20 a few months back and growing up I definitely was the least attractive/ weird friend so I never got attention. And once I grew out of my awkward phase I just never got crushes so it’s hard wanting to be in a relationship but not finding anyone I actually want to be in a relationship with!
@@savvanahmariee that's exactly the type of comment I was expecting here, and I'm just popping in to say: check out the meanings of aromantic, asexual and queerplatonic relationship (QPR)! It might not be for you, but it could also open a new world for you. Because, y'know, some people just don't get romatic crushes ever and that's ok :)
Dating apps aren’t designed to get people to fall in love with each other, just a tool to potentially give an excuse for two parties to interact. So if anyone feels bad after using them, it’s not you. These apps just aren’t able to do what they’re marketed for
I relate so much to the ‘being insecure about your personality’ part, except I feel like my personality is too soft and people find me boring or not interesting enough.
Bullshit, I used to think so too and people used to tell me that this was my problem with finding a date. Then I found my bf who loves me for my soft and sensitive personality. I was also told that you need to get confident and such, nah I have zero self confidence and he doesn’t mind. It’s really a matter of luck in finding a person that clicks with you, don’t worry about your personality ^^
When Dustin started talking about the preferences issue: *Black men have entered the chat.*
In all seriousness though, I hear dating is significantly harder for asian men and black women. Both demographics are negatively portrayed as undesirable in the dating community so you're not hallucinating on that front.
black women and asian men should date more often then 👀
@@InProgress10 that’s what i’m saying. we’d be making some gods and goddesses ass babies and they’d take over the world
@@InProgress10 nah because literally tho, literally
babe i felt every word of this video
As a girl who is the same age as you, I really appreciate your honesty in your videos because it helps to know there is someone out there who is experiencing the same effects of “crush culture”. And thanks to that, I do not feel like I am the weirdest person even though I didn’t have any romantic experience yet, especially in Saint Valentine’s Day
ok out of context but I wanted to say that I just love the fact that as a non english speaker I can understand almost every word you're saying and still enjoy the video and im so happy and satisfied because of that
Congrats!!
@@oliwia_to_ja_nik thanks !!
that is such a great feeling, good job!
@@alexarango1840 yes it is!! thank you so much :(((
you’re doing amazing!!
going through the “lowering your standards” because feeling like you’re out of options, i felt that! took me few horrible dates to realize that it’s okay to have standards that needs to be met and i’m not asking for too much
I feel this so hard, I'm 23 & never had a boyfriend (even a childhood 1 week one)& haven't kissed anyone. I'd say I'm objectively actually pretty attractive & nice and have had the same thoughts as you, while everyone else was out doing teenager things I was home dealing with my mental health completely alone, being even too scared to talk to people who weren't my group of friends at school(I had huge anxiety/depression issues, they're a lot better now but am now more dealing with avoidant personality disorder). I think it's easier when you're a kid because you're not expected to have relationships, let alone ones that last but when you're 18+ people expect you to have done everything. It's hard feeling 10 years behind where you feel you should be.
Last summer there was a guy that came into where I work who looked like Cheyenne Jackson and asked me if I wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride with him but I panicked and said I wasn't looking for anything, I immediately regretted it because he was both hot & nice & ffs that could've been my future husband idk lol but I also know that I never would've been able to go through with it. I've somewhat resigned myself to being alone & pushing away even the slightest sign of interest even though there isn't any & these days for some reason can't even seem to get out a sentence without it sounding like random gibberish....& I wonder why I'm alone
hope you were looking for sob stories :p
I ghostwrote this...
I ghostwrote this...
I ghostwrote this...
just popping in to say that we appreciate the effort for each and every video. loved the special vday edits and the extra details do not go unnoticed
aw tysm it makes me happy when people notice the little things
@@dustinvuong you also looked like a rockstar from the 70s! love the composition of the shot
I used to have this same mentality when I was your age (I'm 26, but saying "when I was your age" makes me feel so old haha). I always thought "oh boys just don't like me and idk why" and "why don't the guys I like ever like me back?" I was extremely shy and boys made me anxious because I didn't really know how to interact with them, especially when I was interested in someone. But LITERALLY, and I kid you not, the second I actually stopped caring about finding someone, I started dating my first boyfriend (at the age of 23 btw), and he is now my fiance. I never saw him coming, but I'm so so lucky to have him in my life. Someday you'll meet someone that you'll never expect to marry someday, but stranger things could happen haha so relax and stop worrying, your person will find you at the right time and when you least expect it ❤
This gives me so much confidence somehow? Thank you for sharing! I‘m 21 rn and I‘ve never been kissed, never had a boyfriend (if you exclude childish rs at the age of 12) and I totally related to dustin! It‘s sometimes scarry that it hasn‘t happened for me yet? So reading your comment was rlly nice, so thank you!
Dustin, you're a goddamn 10.
Straight up at 03:42 HAHAHA this video was so comforting and relatable, dating is so annoying today
I hear a lot of people saying the “love finds you when you stop trying” adage. For me this was always tough to hear because my lack of “success” in the romantic field made me feel so bad about myself that it was hard for me to ever feel like I could stop caring/trying. The summer I turned 22 I decided “enough is enough” and went on about 10 tinder dates in a month… and found my boyfriend! He is lovely. So for me, love came because I was trying really hard haha. I don’t know the point of sharing this other than to say that it is normal to have a lot of heavy feelings about this topic. I love Maddie Dragsbaek’s “emotionally unavailable” series about processing her feelings about dating.
I think its hard hearing the whole "love finds you when you stop trying" from other people. I mean i havent tried the past 22 years and nothings happened so maybe i do have to put myself out there. Really happy to hear you took your wants into your own hands~
@@donk2316 same here im turning 29 tho
I have been using dating apps for many years but I have always found shitty people pervert and me I desidere so bad a bf and here i am at 23 y.o and still trying but with no results ('; so I think finding love is also issue of luck
@@donk2316 what’s funny about this quote is that it applies only to people who are more social. Both me and my boyfriend are total introverts, so if I haven’t been actively searching for a boyfriend on reddit dating subreddits then we wouldn’t ever meet since we both don’t go out at all haha
the being convinced someone is in love/interested in you when they do some basic human interaction with you (being nice/picking something up for you) is SUCH call out i was simply baffled by myself in this study room.
I didn’t have any romantic experiences until I was 21 and left my hometown. One thing I will say in favor of that (not that it was a choice lmao) is that the first relationship is much more likely to last a significant amount of time because you’re self assured and generally know how to manage connections better as an adult. Even when that relationship did end a few years later, I felt self assured in that I’d been single for two decades and I can definitely be single again. Was weirdly like returning to an old friend.
It's so scary admitting your lack of dating experience and just luck when it comes to dating in general. I have never related so much to one's thoughts and I feel so seen! Needless to say, thanks so much for sharing
05:00 movies are giving us this weird illusion that all you need to be lovable is being pretty and a decent person but the reality is, is that timing and life circumstances are a real thing. Also let‘s be honest many of us I assume, me included, are not even trying to put ourselves out there and I feel like we need to go out to make the opportunity for others to fall in love with us
08:54 THIS IS ME OMG! And yk once a guy even told me that I was intimidating only from the way I dressed? Like? Hello?
your thought of "how come they can find love but I can't" touched my soul
Dustin when u said you've started giving up on finding a relationship I really felt that , before I used to get insecure over the fact that I've never been in a relationship or couldn't find love , but now it has stopped bothering me it's like I've stopped looking for love all together! I'm fine being by myself I like my friends I like how I'm growing as a person rn at this state of life I like the progress I'm making to persue my passions it's just fine now 💞😌🧿
According to half of the comment section on this video and 100% of all well meaning aunties and friends everywhere, love should show up at your doorstep any second now since you're not looking for it 🤷♀️
Being a black woman living in Japan has made me feel so ugly even though I know I’m not. The men here seem to want Japanese women (foreign and Japanese), leaving people like me with few options. So it’s been a bit tough. I’m still trying my best but it’s def hard. Dating apps make it worse I think too. But hang in there!
I finally had a thought this Valentines Day. I was looking at all these things that couples do and thinking "Damn I want to do things like this" and then I thought, why don't I? Otherwise I'll just never do anything. So I've just booked myself a day trip and I'm going to the Ballet. I'll take myself on nice dates.
I'm seeing a lot of comments about giving up on love, so I just want to say: there is someone out there for literally everyone. Even if you're (conventionally) ugly and have a terrible personality, there is someone for you. It's a big world!
On a more helpful note: If you want to be in a relationship, try expanding your social circle. If you're in college, join some clubs you wouldn't normally think about joining. If you're out of school, try picking up a new hobby (that involves other people, obviously).
you know, it is so interesting to hear your perspective on yourself. you’re such a comforting person and I love how emotionally vulnerable you are
When you mentioned looking at other people and wondering how they got someone, and you can't get anyone!!! That was me in December at my old job. I was like IT HAS TO BE ME!! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?! So yeah you're definitely not the only one.
10:06 god i am so relieved to know other people think this, too. all my friends are taken so ive never been able to talk about it with other ppl
sameee
Honestly, I think the most important part in whether somebody dates you, is not about how interesting you are, but if you are able to find a common ground with each other. Like maybe your stuff is interesting, but are you willing to find and promote those characteristics in each other and together. Like shared interests, just like you have with your friends. You do not have to be too similar it is more about how willing you are to open up, share and listen. Then you will what will happen. A romantic relationship is just like any other human relationship and worrying ain't helpful most of the time, but when no offers from anybody in any romantic direction occur, we get frustrated and worry. Then only an outgoing and open-eyed lifestyle can help. Or just accepting that you are enough on your own and what else will come, will come.
giggling bc when he said rate 1-10 i immediately screamed “YOURE A TEN “ and immediately slapped my hand on my mouth due to the embarrassment of answering so fast LMFAO
He's the cool borderline reliable brother that I never had.
The only Valentine’s Day present I wanted and needed, thx Dustin and happy valentines x :)
ooo
hearing your experience its so validating!! i also never got any romantic attention in my teenage years and that has fucked me up a bit. i never paid attention to it but now that im in college, everyone seems so experienced in that field and my high school friends are also going out on dates and i just feel like,,, im missing out on something really important, like im broken or something
ur not broken !! tbh i think romantic love is just this uncontrollable and unpredictable being. it happens whenever and wherever it wants. trust me i still question myself sometimes now about how i haven’t experienced anything but it’s ok! it’ll come around. in reality it’s just a fat load of FOMO
@@dustinvuong yeah, you are right. we'll be fine if we don't get into a relationship soon, i dont miss it bc i have never been in one but i do miss the intimacy and the special connection with somebody, i had that w my friends from hs but i don't feel it yet w my college friends and im already in my sophomore year :/ and (ig) the quick way to get that type of connection is getting into a romantic relationship?? do you experience this?? thank u for responding, i really appreciated it
seeing that we have so much in common makes me feel 100x better, like the “how did they get into a relationship” that always made me feel bad too. & the dating apps too ! so relatable T^T
I love who you are. It's so refreshing. You will have SUCH a special person, and that's why it's taking a minute. Xx
Dustin coming to save my day once again
after heartbreak, overtime i started to perceive love as more logical and scientific. it is kinda sad because i want to believe in fate and the "right one" but it is scarier to rely on this idea if nothing ever ends up happening. after pain, i began to build up high expectations in people and relationships like its a shield from hurt. i hope one day i can believe in love again
OHHHHH WOWWWWWW i felt this ENTIRE video! everything you've said from comparing how you aren't in a relationship yet to feeling maybe unexperienced or the want for validation is EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!!! i've honestly never related more to a video, and you should know that you are indeed not alone 😭 i am experiencing everything you're mentioning and feeling and i understand how PAINFUL it is sometimes. hopefully, we'll all get through it though :)
idk who you are, you just randomly propped up on my feed and let me tell you, you a solid 9/10 MINIMUM. personality? PEAKING.
Maybe… you just aren’t someone who is going to settle for someone mediocre like all the people you see in relationships right now. You know yourself well enough to know when something isn’t going to work and rather than letting your fear of being alone push you into something stupid, you are strong enough to wait for something better that one day they will be jealous of
8:47-12:34 is the most relatable thing I've ever heard
Honestly I feel you, but also sometimes I wonder if I'm scared of being loved? Like maybe there actually are options/chances I could take, but something in me keeps me from doing that or even recognizing them cause I can't believe they'd be there for me or cause I'm scared. Idk. Maybe there's way more out there for you than you can see atm? Just know that you're amazing Dustin. You seem so loveable tbh.
Why are you literally plucking the exact same thoughts out of my head 👀🥺 ngl I felt like sobbing after hearing you verbalise the feelings I’ve been feeling but kinda pushing away cuz I feel like it’s not right to think that way
I really love how honest you are and that you share it, especially about the part about talking about preferences and the complexities around that! As an Asian-American woman, while I don't think I've ever had other Asian women in my life directly say that they're only into white guys, I think it's implicitly indicated and perhaps even expected of me. I mean, full respect for people to like who they like, but just a pattern I've observed in my life. I don't personally identify with that and resonated very deeply when you touched on that topic!
oh my, the literally amount of things I related to in this video is crazy. I heard someone say that it's easier to find love the more people you meet and interact with so I guess that's why dating apps are so popular. But personally, it is just not how I want to find love so I've never been on them. I also have a close-knit group of female friends and we literally never go out. So it is hard to really meet anyone but I also feel like society places so many romantic expectations on us young that I personally am not even ready for now and which can make us feel shitty when they don't happen even though it's so common. Also, I watched this video which talked about the difference between high standards and high expectations. Saying that we should keep our standards high because they are core qualities rather than our expectations which focus more on specific things that don't affect peoples core values. So king keep those standards high. I actually know quite a lot of hot, intelligent and creative people who are in the same situation as us. I also think one good thing about it is it can make us realise a lot of things such as the beauty of platonic relationships, self-love, independence, you know you know. Anyways love the vid and I'm literally wondering the same things as you so we in it together!
I empathize so much. I was 21 when I had my first (very short lived) relationship with someone I wasn't super interested in just because he was the first person to be interested in dating me. But seriously just hang in there because things happen when you least expect it. I'm still waiting for my first real relationship at 23, but within this year it felt like suddenly so many people were interested in me. The first time it happened I was shocked. Two people at a party were into me and when someone else informed me of that I reflexively asked them why. Since then it's happened more times and I've had to slowly accept that MAYBE I'm NOT hideous despite 22 years of basically no one showing interest in me romantically. Life is a weird ride but eventually it will work out (I'm also hoping that for myself but I believe it for us both!)
letting the fear of expressing love to run your life hurts the most but keeps you safe from rejection
I often sabotage my relationships. Mb its more on my mental health, but idk if i really wanna be in love or its all social pressure and jealousy.
Love your new style
this video is exactly what i needed this valentine's day dustin coming in clutch
HELLO MIRA!???
so we are both here Huh.
@@world_apple NOO please my comments are always kind of cringe. but yes We are both here
About being the one who initiates things. I used to do that with my friends quite a lot. Then I slowly noticed they were never the ones to text first. So I decided to just stop to see if they would ever text me. (Nowadays they're all people I never see automatically in my everyday life.) More than a year passed, and then one of them texted. And I get it, life is stressful with school, work, mental health and all, but come one... Over the last 5-10 years I've gotten burnt out, been depressed, just been sad in general, and now I have more social anxiety than ever and struggle to leave my house at all. Even during all this, I've tried to keep in touch with them. When we did talk and meet, they were (still are) the nicest people I know. And I miss them a lot. But it's just gotten weird trying to ''force'' myself into their lives.
The initiating thing is real FOR REAL! I just have two friends who really initiate stuff and they're the only ones I hang out with. The ppl who don't show interest in meeting me and hanging out I just stop initiate stuff with them especially when the relationship has gone for more than 2 months, shyness and insecurity are not good excuses
I feel like love comes at the most unexpected time, when you're not necessarily looking. Whenever I read a love story or a book with romance involved, its always the person minding their business then BAM someone comes in their life that they end up falling for without plan- if that makes sense.
Dustin: I'm gonna be so hydrated after this video.
Me: *Looks at my water. Takes a sip.*
Me: Me, too.
ok but i love how everyone in the comment section is on the same wavelength as me coz like i definitely felt every single word that you ever said in the video like thats literally my thought process every time im taking a shower or sumn it's literally the monologue that goes on in my head! thanku for making this dustin
comfort channel fr
this video is so relatable i can't stress it enough. especially about always taking the initiative with your friends and like in romantic relationships i too would like to be at the receiving end for once.
i can especially relate to you on how you feel inferior or unlovable because you’ve never been in a relationship or nobody has given you attention. i feel like i’m pretty and i’m a cool person, but since nobody has ever wanted to date me it feels like i’m nothing.
recently came out of a long term relationship that just got unhealthy overtime. what i learned is this: do not jump at something or someone for the sake of the experience. i wanted the experience. and i got it. and it got bad :D just be very careful and whatever you do, don’t. lower. your. standards.
What I figured with flirting and starting to talk to someone is to act how I am. If you’re an initiator and extroverted present yourself as one, I’d you don’t start the conversation and enthusiastically keep it going then you’re not presenting how you are so you won’t find someone who likes you. Dating apps are superficial and first impressions matter a lot, you won’t know if someone matches your energy if you don’t show it.
Speaking of standards, I agree w/ you. I actually thought that I had high standards before but then I saw the "bare minimum" videos and realized that my standards... are pretty standard
omg, I can relate to you so well ahhhh. Especially the part with the kindness of others. Ouh wow that person is always SO SWEET to me... Do TheY lIke Me? Am I in love?! Like I can't even tell whether I'm truly liking someone or I'm just liking the possibility of being liked.
This video literally came at the best time 😭. Lately I've been more adamant about wanting to date people and having a meaningful relationship, since the only example of a good relationship I had was with someone I didn't officially date, it was my best friend. I want to be able to find someone organically and have them like me and me like them back. I wouldn't want to hold back my feelings because they don't feel the same way or constantly question why I'm not good enough for them. I used to be that way at least, now I have more confidence and I'm less shy and I want to go out and meet people my age. But it's just hard. I overthink so much and the people I get interested in end up only wanting to be my friend. At some point I wondered if I'm even dateable. But hopefully I'll be transferring to a university this fall and I'll be able to find someone there. I agree that having high standards isn't a problem at all too. And it's a way of also protecting your heart from someone you know isn't the best for you. You want to be with someone so badly that it starts to not matter as much to you. But it does matter, a lot. Don't sell yourself short because you're lonely, I almost made that mistake. Know your worth!
6:02 bro you hurt my feelings, I am 27 wtffff almost 30!!! and i have never date anyone or having just a tiny sparkle of love... NOTHING :(
Thank you Dustin for being a reflection of my brain for the last 2 months. 😂 I'm glad that I'm literally having the exact same thoughts as someone else. Moving across the world and trying to navigate what people find attractive here is quite challenging. Especially since everyone is so nice as well. Also being in a predominantly white country people have tended to only go for me for the soul purpose of dating a "black/African girl." And coming to terms with having high standards being a good thing cause my friends think that they're pretty high but it's my standards they're supposed to be for me which was a great point to make in the video. But ya this video was so therapeutic cause it's all of my thoughts in one spot and shows that I'm not abnormal for experiencing these things.
Yea, the dating apps thing.
I was really interested in a guy and I was really going for it, which I never do (so you know how much I liked this guy). I think he's so attractive. I got to know him through college. When I saw his whatsapp profile picture I thought "Huh... If he still had that haircut I probably never would've thought he was attracive.". I saw his instagram, and the way he posts on there, and thought "Huh... He really doesn't seem like the kind of person I would be this interested in.". But all of that was nothing compared to when my friend showed me his profile on bumble (I don't have any dating apps myself, so my friend coming across him there was an absolute treat).
Oh my god... I wouldn't have liked him at all if I didn't know him. Even his description. He's a dj ffs. And I love it, I still go to his dj sets. But seeing the way he phrased all of that he just comes across as a pretentious hipster. While in reality he's really interesting and so genuine. AND HE PICKED TO MOST UGLY PICTURE OF HIMSELF THAT I HAD EVER SEEN.
Seriously... He could do so much better. There's something so strange about how I see him online and in real life. Cause knowing how genuine he is, it makes sense. But if I didn't know him personally I'd probably dislike him.
And then knowing that and swiping with my friend on her profile makes it so sad. Cause there are probably a lot of people that we would really like if we actually met them, but online they just come across so bad.
Next time someone asks me what do you feel about love I'll send them this video. This is exactly I feel. Thank you for making this video and validating my feelings :')
This video is actually a whole mood, literally me when I was on dating apps
You got this bro. I got my first partner at 28. It's a numbers game. You got the right idea. Go out there and chat up a lot of folks. I saw your video on friendship and you have all the right pieces in place. I think it's also a consequence of maybe being a bit more careful about things than your peer group, too. Like the dating profiles you mention sound slapdash whereas yours is very thoughtful. I'm Asian and I had the same issue, I was confident, but I wasn't raised to casually flirt with people. Being ignored made me feel very insecure about my features, too, but I found someone amazing who loves all the stuff about me I kinda don't. You've got all the pieces, you just gotta put them together. Best of luck buddy.
omfg im exactly the same as you. i just turned 20 a couple weeks ago and i still havent kissed or dated anyone or even had the opportunity to, like i havent even rejected anyone. its definitely made me wonder if theres something wrong with me that makes me not attract other people. like you im a thinker (intp) and by my own standards and many other peoples standards i would consider myself pretty attractive and generally have a good personality (???i guess???) but just nothings ever happened for me. i feel and worry that ill just be alone forever and have honestly gotten used to that and comfortable always being independent and alone, but a lot of the time i just feel so incredibly lonely and undesirable. its shitty to bring this up to other people too because they’ll say stuff like oh being single is great or i shouldn’t look for romantic validation or often think of me as some innocent little kid when im a literal woman. ugh
I could make a hole essay about how this vid fitted perfectly in every aspect on me, but im just gonna say that the fact that there's so many beautiful people, inside and out, relating to this made me have second thoughts about the way I look at myself, thank u for that. Have an amazing life everyone!!! xx
you have so much time still, when you least expect it, it just happens. you finally click with someone. i didn't date anyone until i turned 21, and have been in two long term relationships since. i think the key is just being open but keep working on your life, someone will come at the right time. Lovely video btw!
i actually feel the exact same way except with friendships! i feel like i seem pretty cool + i have a good sense of style but I haven't been making friends at college, and it worries me a lot. sending love, we got this :) 💗
The slurping any attention is so relatable! I always overthink if someone likes me from the smallest attention
I loved this video EVERY SINGLE second it was super related to me, i feel you 100% and also not to mention when FINALLY someone maybe shows a little interest or gives you a compliment, in my case I PANIC and just run away hahaha i am gonna be single forever
I hope everyone will someday meet someone who makes them feel like they're on top of the world I've been in relationships but they've never been good i'm only 22 so I have time but don't rush into relationships like I did. they mostly turn out horrible because you and your partner have an idealized version of you and once you don't meet that it just feels so weird so get to know ppl before fully dating.
happy valentines day dustinnnn
I know love comes when you least expect it. My problem is that when somebody i just being nice to me my mind already pictures a relationship with them because I'm so love deprived. And i hate to do that but I can't stop myself.
Dustin , you look great seriously never doubt about it . Also I don't share my opinion, i just face the reality. It's just vers toxic to judge someone on his appearance. Thanks for sharing your opinion with us. With love from france
everything that you said in this video rings so true for me, it feels like i’m watching a video on the conversations i have with myself daily. it’s so nice to hear all of this put into words, and know that i’m also not alone in the weird comparison cycle between myself and people who get into relationships, and the whole “am i just not good enough” feeling even though i’m more confident in myself then i have ever been. thank you, and you’re one of the people that make me comfy knowing i have never had a serious relationship because if someone as cool as you is in the same boat then i must be ok.
Dustin, when I first stumbled across one of your vids (the one that starts with u making coffee in ur kitchen) I showed my friends and I was like “THIS, this is my type”… I just want to let u know, u r attractive, u have a wonderful vibrant personality, and i may have a little crush. DONT BE INSECUREEE
The relatabilty with this OMW. Damn. Like Wow. You are not alone. I literally agree with everything that you have said.
I love this video. I relate to you so much. And you expressing your thoughts and feelings makes me feel more valid. Especially the whole having high ideals but lowering my standards or obsessing over anyone who is kind to me or expresses interest in me. Now I'm just a hopeless romantic who is done searching for a partner and is just trying to focus on myself and improving my life overall.
Omg I’m 28 now but 21 year old me could’ve made this EXACT video (except for the fact that I’m super introverted haha). At least in my experience, things will better in the dating department but it’s super important to know your worth and have boundaries because people will take advantage of you/of your naivety due to being new to dating. Also a lot of insecurities from being a late bloomer and feeling “undateable” for so long don’t always go away once you find someone but don’t let those possible insecurities hold you back. Good luck
I watched some of your videos and we literally think about life the same way :D. It's nice because I've never met anyone who thinks like this and it's good to know that it's okay to be like this.
Literally every single thing mentioned are thoughts or experiences I’ve had. I feel so comforted by the fact that it’s not just me
dustin out here be spittin' facts. I RESONATE WITH U SO MUCH I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BECAUSE WE HAVE THE SAME BDAY OR SUMN...
Seeing dustin's growth through the valentines videos is tear breaking. It started off with the cute vlog type videos and now seems more mature and almost "romantic".
“I’ve given up on love” I literally resonate so much I can’t even
NINETEEN!?!? Okay you probably have heard this many times but you are so young. I'm 24 going on 25 and I'm BARELY getting a healthy grasp of what a romantic relationship should be. BUT VALID U GOT THIS!!
Dustin always gaves me comfort n confidence
10:55 ok I’m glad I’m not the only one who experiences this😭 I get surface level crushes reeeally easily it’s embarrassing 💀
helloooo i totally understand this video but recently I have begun to view love in a different way. I view love less as something that I will stumble into or somehing I will discover, and instead I view it as something I actively participate in. This helps me understand that if I am not searching for love, real love is most likely something I will not discover. And its important to make first steps ourselves, because although rejection hurts, missing out/losing expirences hurts more. But I cant lie I do feel sad, or unloved when those around me arent making the first move. Also the eye contact thing is something I relate to so muuuchhhhh, but I reccomend practicing all of the time, I lowkey stare my friends down sometimes to get more comfortable, and if I am interested in someone it is so powerful. I dunno I am kind of using this comment section as a way to pour out my feelings so, ty :)
you said all of my thoughts but in an eloquent and aesthetic way
BRO your videos actually comfort me so much you seem like sucha nice good person.
This video was super relatable and made me feel less alone in my aversion to dating and dating apps. Thanks for sharing!
The best valentine’s gift 💗
i havent read the full title and have been sitting in a face mask through the dinner 💀
also for ypur looks and personality: if somebody *clicks* w/ u, they just *click*, if that makes sense lmao
once u find someone that matches ur energy looks wont matter!
just look at jane birkin, a lot of ppl say her bf was ugly, but they were SUCH a good couple!
and honestly i feel like my standards are too high lol its hard to find someone that im actually into, but i know that theres no sense in forcing myself into a relationship w/ someone thats not my type, so i definitely agree on that
i think you shouldnt worry abt it, a lot of ppl get into a relationship a lot later than you! theres no reason to look for somebody just to *have* somebody