Even if the piece is mainly on major key, it makes me feel sadness for some reason. It's like, you had fun and very good memories, but they are all remain in the past and now the friends you made are no more by your side, all you can do is thinking about those good memories and feel nostalgic by yourself, all alone.
For some reason this gives me the vibe of something that would be in a ToyStory movie or maybe a Studio Ghibli movie. Idk I just feel lots of childhood wonder as well as loss in this piece... Great job, keep composing, you're a great inspiration.
i think the reason for that is that it is very similar. jessies sad theme in toy story 2 was written in a major key but still had a very sad feeling and this song is the same way
Restating the motif two octaves above at the end has a really unique effect, like the original version was the “remembering of memories” other people describe this piece as feeling like, and this higher version is acknowledging that those are gone now
This piece clearly demonstrates thoughtful, organic structure, and the melody is very elegant too Yet I believe that the harmony can be more developed and have more variation. Also, working on voice leading can refine your piece a lot more. Firstly, I suggest you should add pedal indicators to the score as I believe the dry texture demonstrated in the midi is far from your imagination and the sound should be dreamier and thicker. If you do want to retain not to add indicators to the score, I suggest you add the indicators first then turn it invisible (I believe that MuseScore has this feature but I mainly use Sibelius so I can’t tell you the exact method) Secondly, there’s some simple fix of notes that I suggest: Bar 2, 4 and a half beat, lower staff: Change from Db to Bb. As the Right hand is doing an 8-7 motion and the LH keep the 7, it will cause a double of 7 which impedes the resolution from V/IV to IV. Remember to avoid double tendency notes except writing for a thick texture. This apply to all cases Bar 4, 3rd beat, Lower staff: Change the inversion of the Eb chord to first inversion. It can create more variation and an amazing arpeggiating bass line of Eb Eb/G Bb Bar 5, 3rd beat, Lower staff: Delete the 3 notes after Bb. The diatonic descending scale is not harmonious when combined with the chromatic descending thirds. Also, leaving the bass line out can really make the colour of the chromatic scales shines Bar 7, 3rd beat, Lower staff: Change the Cb to Eb. The Cb acts as a tendency note when you are trying to do C-Cb-Bb voice leading for this borrowed iv. So doubling the Cb causes dissonance. Bar 8, 1st bar: change the inversion of chord from root to second. Using root position mostly signifies an end of a phrase, especially when you use it after a very powerful borrowed iv. However, the phrase does not end until the perfect cadence in bar 9, and a normal phrase model follows Tonic-Predominant-Dominant structure, you are cutting the phrase model off. Changing the chord to the second inversion has two functions: 1. it can form a cadential 64 which augments the power of the perfect cadence, 2. As the Cadential 64 is considered as an embellishment of the dominant, the entire phrase fulfills phrase model. (I-V/IV(T)-IV-iv(PD)-I64-V(D)-I(T)) Bar 8, 3rd beat, Lower staff: The Bb-C-D-Eb change to Bb(same as RH)-A-Ab-G. If you are doing parallel octaves, we consider that as only one voice. Yet looking back your writing, you mostly use melody with accompaniment that has 3 layers of voices, a total of 4 voice. Suddenly change from 4 voices to a single voice without exaggeration in dynamics causes awkwardness. By writing another chromatic downward counterpoint, you are achieving: 1. Reducing the reduction of voices from (4 to 1) to (4 to 2), reducing awkwardness; 2. Creating a complex colour that can rival the thickness of 4 voices, making the entire music more coherent; 3. It still reduce the voice, so it can be the preparation to the syncopation in octaves you have written. I guess there’s a lot of amendments you can consider already, but I guess this piece is a very meaningful achievement for u. As I may have mentioned some terms too difficult, feel free to ask me (Edit: This is the first time I listen to you. I just look back your other pieces you composed and I see a stunning improvement in this piece as you try to use more complex harmony! Keep it up)
hiya! also a composer, thought i'd weigh in as well in addition to this comment: Also regarding Bar 5, 3rd beat, you could also have the bassline rise from Bb-Bb-C-D to Bar 6 End of bar 18, the jump from Bb to Eb is a bit jarring, and possibly a little difficult, consider having a couple of notes at the end instead move upwards to lead into it, maybe Ab-Eb-D-G-B-D? Overall, nice piece, cute melody! Utilising different chord inversions like the other comment suggested could help make your harmony more coherent :)
This song’s been in my head all day. I saw another comment say that the accompaniment is boring; I disagree. I think it’s just as rhythmically and harmonically complex as it needs to be.
Yeah, but I do disagree with how the composer of this piece said that simplicity is the key to great music, and that’s very far from the truth, sometimes extreme complexity is what makes a piece so good, and if it were simplistic, it wouldn’t have the same charm, if that makes any sense.
The accompaniment in the left hand and syncopated rhythm in the right hand makes it sound like a ragtime piece. Correct me if I'm wrong; I'm still learning. It's a nice little melody. The piece uses the minor IV chord nicely to get that classic emotional sound. The triplet rhythms in the second half are a nice change of pace.
Although it seems ‘happy’ , for some reason it feels like your back in your childhood but then you realise that this is not going to last long, cause u are not a child anymore, it is all just ur dream
Oooohhhh that's cool and really feels resonant but somewhat lacking tho it does resemble someone or something. Your minimalist style is somewhat kind of daring but I do personally recommend to work a bit on the accompaniment although you ought for a simplistic style it often results to "lack of color" as what my mentor said. It is very very fitting for the first 5 bars and in the 21st bar all the way to the end but for the rest of the piece I think it fits best when there is accompanied instruments like the violin etc. but if you want it to be a solo piece for piano, I think a little rework is important Overall I've just stated my opinion but hey you've done well on the melody there's nothing I could say much or less. You have a great potential ngl but I hope we could work together in the near future.
This is really nice! Just a few notation errors: In bars 10 and 12 you should write the third RH note of each bar as a semiquaver tied to a dotted quaver that coincides with the 5th LH note. Currently you have a crotchet falling a semiquaver before beat 3 of the bar which is very unclear visually and looks like a misalignment. Similar thing in bar 23 - the high Bb in the RH should be two tied semiquaver as the quaver is crossing the strong beat currently. In bar 17 you’ve written sextuplets but marked them as triplets.
Very good melody, but the left hand feels very boring in comparison. Maybe you could add a larger range to the accompaniment as well as many different rhythms. I usually also like to have a polyrhythm between the left and right hands in my pieces.
I am not a good composer like you but As a beginner composer and a 15 years old intermediate pianist this piece is the most beautiful one for me. So i respectfully disagree with you sir.
@@MaskedPianist57 Now the title is correct. And I'm not a good composer, I'm probably going to quit music in the end. I wish you a better career than mine.
@@MaskedPianist57 I see, I'm glad it motivated other people to try composing choral music. I don't know what I will do, I'm extremely burned out. I might take a very long break from music.
This is bad i'm not gonna lie, 0:25 is bad, 0:33 is useless and you should remove it, it just interupts it and stops the song from building (also sounds like blood by mcr but unrelated). I understand the end (1:25) but it clashes n its awful. I personally don't like 1:40 and think it just enlogates the song for no reason and it could've stopped earlier, but thats not as bad as the other stuff and goes down to preference (i think)
@@MaskedPianist57 dont take his feedback, the way he worded that is awful, no there isn’t a “clash” and no it isn’t bad. The ideas in this are really nice and the harmony used throughout is really pretty and is like a mix of classical music with Disney music, if this piece with this melody and chords was extended into, for example an orchestra score it would be amazinggg, love the ideas and the chord changes, the polyrhythms you have with the triplets and quaver rhythms, and chromatic sequences, nice work dude, keep it up, be proud of your work and don’t listen to the haters that don’t know how to musically write like us 🙌🏻
@@brydonadams there's a Db playing along G, thats what I mean by the clash... Most people won't hear that like something they would want in a piece like this. The other clash (1:30) is a major 7th, the third most dissonant interval, especially in this context, and just ends up feeling like less serious . It also happens in 0:11 (minor 2nd), but that is less noticable and an octaves lower. I do, in fact, know how to musically write, thank you (even though I don't write classical). These dissonances don't fit in the chord so aren't meant to be, they seem more like mistakes that one can get rid of. I like the triples section, I'd say it's my favourite part of the song, but that doesn't mean he can't get better.
![ถ้าพี่วุ้นท้อง แป้งจะท้องไปด้วยกัน !!!! [ดูคลิปเต็มหน้าช่อง] #Short | PANG ORNHIRA](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FeyEnVMwitA/mqdefault.jpg)
Even if the piece is mainly on major key, it makes me feel sadness for some reason. It's like, you had fun and very good memories, but they are all remain in the past and now the friends you made are no more by your side, all you can do is thinking about those good memories and feel nostalgic by yourself, all alone.
thats the feeling i am trying to convey, you guessed it my friend.
@@MaskedPianist57 Well, you absolutely nailed it then 😄
That’s minor 4s for you
literally, that melancholic feeling of saying goodbye after a long moments together...
power of flat six indeed
For some reason this gives me the vibe of something that would be in a ToyStory movie or maybe a Studio Ghibli movie. Idk I just feel lots of childhood wonder as well as loss in this piece... Great job, keep composing, you're a great inspiration.
Thanks for compliment. I am happy that my piece gives you peace and joy.
I literally got the same feeling
i think the reason for that is that it is very similar. jessies sad theme in toy story 2 was written in a major key but still had a very sad feeling and this song is the same way
@@MichaelPianoYT i think its more similar to: youve got a friend in me
This is a pretty good melody indeed, good job!
Restating the motif two octaves above at the end has a really unique effect, like the original version was the “remembering of memories” other people describe this piece as feeling like, and this higher version is acknowledging that those are gone now
for me its pretty sad idk why. Like a sad ost in an anime, or in a movie.
Yeah i get your view bro
mix of tragic and comedic, slowly fading between the two, perhaps bittersweet.
That’s the effect of Eb major
could you share the sheet? its absolutely beautiful and i'd love to play it
musescore.com/user/78478876/scores/16564114
beautiful and laid-back, lovely
Those 6th notes in those 8th note triplets should just be sextuplets
This piece clearly demonstrates thoughtful, organic structure, and the melody is very elegant too
Yet I believe that the harmony can be more developed and have more variation. Also, working on voice leading can refine your piece a lot more.
Firstly, I suggest you should add pedal indicators to the score as I believe the dry texture demonstrated in the midi is far from your imagination and the sound should be dreamier and thicker. If you do want to retain not to add indicators to the score, I suggest you add the indicators first then turn it invisible (I believe that MuseScore has this feature but I mainly use Sibelius so I can’t tell you the exact method)
Secondly, there’s some simple fix of notes that I suggest:
Bar 2, 4 and a half beat, lower staff: Change from Db to Bb. As the Right hand is doing an 8-7 motion and the LH keep the 7, it will cause a double of 7 which impedes the resolution from V/IV to IV. Remember to avoid double tendency notes except writing for a thick texture. This apply to all cases
Bar 4, 3rd beat, Lower staff: Change the inversion of the Eb chord to first inversion. It can create more variation and an amazing arpeggiating bass line of Eb Eb/G Bb
Bar 5, 3rd beat, Lower staff: Delete the 3 notes after Bb. The diatonic descending scale is not harmonious when combined with the chromatic descending thirds. Also, leaving the bass line out can really make the colour of the chromatic scales shines
Bar 7, 3rd beat, Lower staff: Change the Cb to Eb. The Cb acts as a tendency note when you are trying to do C-Cb-Bb voice leading for this borrowed iv. So doubling the Cb causes dissonance.
Bar 8, 1st bar: change the inversion of chord from root to second. Using root position mostly signifies an end of a phrase, especially when you use it after a very powerful borrowed iv. However, the phrase does not end until the perfect cadence in bar 9, and a normal phrase model follows Tonic-Predominant-Dominant structure, you are cutting the phrase model off. Changing the chord to the second inversion has two functions: 1. it can form a cadential 64 which augments the power of the perfect cadence, 2. As the Cadential 64 is considered as an embellishment of the dominant, the entire phrase fulfills phrase model. (I-V/IV(T)-IV-iv(PD)-I64-V(D)-I(T))
Bar 8, 3rd beat, Lower staff: The Bb-C-D-Eb change to Bb(same as RH)-A-Ab-G. If you are doing parallel octaves, we consider that as only one voice. Yet looking back your writing, you mostly use melody with accompaniment that has 3 layers of voices, a total of 4 voice. Suddenly change from 4 voices to a single voice without exaggeration in dynamics causes awkwardness. By writing another chromatic downward counterpoint, you are achieving: 1. Reducing the reduction of voices from (4 to 1) to (4 to 2), reducing awkwardness; 2. Creating a complex colour that can rival the thickness of 4 voices, making the entire music more coherent; 3. It still reduce the voice, so it can be the preparation to the syncopation in octaves you have written.
I guess there’s a lot of amendments you can consider already, but I guess this piece is a very meaningful achievement for u. As I may have mentioned some terms too difficult, feel free to ask me
(Edit: This is the first time I listen to you. I just look back your other pieces you composed and I see a stunning improvement in this piece as you try to use more complex harmony! Keep it up)
Very insightful advice, Chickennoob7478, seems like you’ve studied music theory
hiya! also a composer, thought i'd weigh in as well in addition to this comment:
Also regarding Bar 5, 3rd beat, you could also have the bassline rise from Bb-Bb-C-D to Bar 6
End of bar 18, the jump from Bb to Eb is a bit jarring, and possibly a little difficult, consider having a couple of notes at the end instead move upwards to lead into it, maybe Ab-Eb-D-G-B-D?
Overall, nice piece, cute melody! Utilising different chord inversions like the other comment suggested could help make your harmony more coherent :)
This song’s been in my head all day. I saw another comment say that the accompaniment is boring; I disagree. I think it’s just as rhythmically and harmonically complex as it needs to be.
Yeah, but I do disagree with how the composer of this piece said that simplicity is the key to great music, and that’s very far from the truth, sometimes extreme complexity is what makes a piece so good, and if it were simplistic, it wouldn’t have the same charm, if that makes any sense.
I really enjoy this piece! You know how to write a melody. Keep going, I can’t wait to see you keep growing as a composer!
Sounds great!
it's a beautiful song ! thanks you very much !
I love it!!
Thanks, it means alot
Muito lindo, traz algo nostálgico... Uma incrível melodia. Parabéns 👏👏
This is a pretty neat piece! It does have some really nice heartwrenching moments. :)
This sounds like someone looking back down at their gameboy after years of not playing and they spawn into their favorite town.
Don't worry about the criticism :) you're 15 and doing such a wonderful job, I admire your creativity :D Keep progressing!
thanks
Great piece! I love the progression. The ending reminds me of Rachmaninoff romance piece. Keep it up!
This sounds nice. Good work 👍
lovely my friend
Beautiful
WOW amazing song! It sounds so pretty! I love the use of minor 4s also :D
This is amazing! Keep cooking my friend
It's pretty great
so Lovely
Thanks I don't mind you leaving a sub
I agree, the piece is fun, sad, laid-back and jazzy, all at the same time.
Jazzy and beautiful it is
The accompaniment in the left hand and syncopated rhythm in the right hand makes it sound like a ragtime piece. Correct me if I'm wrong; I'm still learning. It's a nice little melody. The piece uses the minor IV chord nicely to get that classic emotional sound. The triplet rhythms in the second half are a nice change of pace.
yeah you are correct.
Although it seems ‘happy’ , for some reason it feels like your back in your childhood but then you realise that this is not going to last long, cause u are not a child anymore, it is all just ur dream
Nice interpretation.
I see something deep and simple at the same time and i really like it. At the beginning seemed to be bink's sake by one piece 😁
Keep up the work!
I gonna give this a shot, it's so nice
go and check my score link in description.
Nice
Very lyrical!
good job!
Thanks!
i see we have an alberti bass fan
Ofc the classic bass that never fails.
Oooohhhh that's cool and really feels resonant but somewhat lacking tho it does resemble someone or something. Your minimalist style is somewhat kind of daring but I do personally recommend to work a bit on the accompaniment although you ought for a simplistic style it often results to "lack of color" as what my mentor said. It is very very fitting for the first 5 bars and in the 21st bar all the way to the end but for the rest of the piece I think it fits best when there is accompanied instruments like the violin etc. but if you want it to be a solo piece for piano, I think a little rework is important
Overall I've just stated my opinion but hey you've done well on the melody there's nothing I could say much or less. You have a great potential ngl but I hope we could work together in the near future.
It's nice, but why did you write it a ragtime style piece using Alberti bass?
It is new era so why not new style?
This is in dire need of stride piano
Can you export piece from musescore 4 as video or you just exported it as pdf and then done all work yourself? Nice work btw
export the piece from musescore as video. ain't got no time to edit.
As an advanced 12 year old I think I can’t even imagine to compose😅
I've litteraly got this composition on an app called Maestro its a composing app.
Bro really? I didn't remember uploading this piece on it. Who took it if you know.
What software are u using to actually write out the composition?
Musescore4, free and the best.
@@MaskedPianist57omg thank u this is amazing
at first i thought it was bink sake from one piece but its still nice
This sounds good, i like the harmony and melody, but i am missing the pedal - is it an intention?
Midi pedal sucks, that's why I didn't add it. Ofc you gotta have to add pedal in this piece.
What software do u use to compose?
musescore 4
If this piece is op. 8 no. 2 - where are all the rest?
Op 8 no.1 is variation in D minor i will upload it.
This is really nice! Just a few notation errors:
In bars 10 and 12 you should write the third RH note of each bar as a semiquaver tied to a dotted quaver that coincides with the 5th LH note. Currently you have a crotchet falling a semiquaver before beat 3 of the bar which is very unclear visually and looks like a misalignment.
Similar thing in bar 23 - the high Bb in the RH should be two tied semiquaver as the quaver is crossing the strong beat currently.
In bar 17 you’ve written sextuplets but marked them as triplets.
That's nice. One thing, in the section where you have 16th note "triplets", it'd be better if you wrote them as sextuplets.
Sounds kinda like ragtime. Like Joplin?
Swag.
Can you write something in my favorite key d minor? That sounds baroque.
I will think about it.
@@MaskedPianist57 will do
gave me cowboy vibes lol
E flat makes it much better. could not imagine it in d or c major!
Yoooo that's actually pretty nice!
16 year old "composer" here, wanna be friends?
What's your IG, Discord, Facebook?
@@MaskedPianist57 whats ur discord! id like to also get in the group haha! im a noob yet but starting to compose some baroque style pieces.
Ragtime-esque
faxx bro
Very good melody, but the left hand feels very boring in comparison. Maybe you could add a larger range to the accompaniment as well as many different rhythms. I usually also like to have a polyrhythm between the left and right hands in my pieces.
I just want it to be simple and easy to play for people.
This sounds like a beetles song lol
Very beatiful bars 19/20. Play she on piano. I conseil more powerful bass. Anyway, this style is very clean. 😊
Would sound better one octave higher imo
This must be a joke
Show me your composition. Then we will see who's the
joke.
@@MaskedPianist57 I can show you if you want, but I don't want to be so arrogant
just show me.i will wait.
Biggest clickbait I have seen in a while.
I am not a good composer like you but As a beginner composer and a 15 years old intermediate pianist this piece is the most beautiful one for me. So i respectfully disagree with you sir.
@@MaskedPianist57 Now the title is correct.
And I'm not a good composer, I'm probably going to quit music in the end.
I wish you a better career than mine.
@@Ivan_1791 nah don't quit. your death of me chorale made me to composed my own choir piece, not on this channel ofc. thanks for the compliment.
@@MaskedPianist57 I see, I'm glad it motivated other people to try composing choral music. I don't know what I will do, I'm extremely burned out. I might take a very long break from music.
It feels you have a lot to say but need more practice to get smooth
This is bad i'm not gonna lie, 0:25 is bad, 0:33 is useless and you should remove it, it just interupts it and stops the song from building (also sounds like blood by mcr but unrelated). I understand the end (1:25) but it clashes n its awful. I personally don't like 1:40 and think it just enlogates the song for no reason and it could've stopped earlier, but thats not as bad as the other stuff and goes down to preference (i think)
thanks for the feedback,
@@MaskedPianist57 dont take his feedback, the way he worded that is awful, no there isn’t a “clash” and no it isn’t bad.
The ideas in this are really nice and the harmony used throughout is really pretty and is like a mix of classical music with Disney music, if this piece with this melody and chords was extended into, for example an orchestra score it would be amazinggg, love the ideas and the chord changes, the polyrhythms you have with the triplets and quaver rhythms, and chromatic sequences, nice work dude, keep it up, be proud of your work and don’t listen to the haters that don’t know how to musically write like us 🙌🏻
@@brydonadams there's a Db playing along G, thats what I mean by the clash... Most people won't hear that like something they would want in a piece like this. The other clash (1:30) is a major 7th, the third most dissonant interval, especially in this context, and just ends up feeling like less serious . It also happens in 0:11 (minor 2nd), but that is less noticable and an octaves lower. I do, in fact, know how to musically write, thank you (even though I don't write classical). These dissonances don't fit in the chord so aren't meant to be, they seem more like mistakes that one can get rid of. I like the triples section, I'd say it's my favourite part of the song, but that doesn't mean he can't get better.
Bass sounds too classical and stubborn
As it is played by a computer it is awful. A good pianist could interpret it and turn it into a nice piece.
accompaniment is boring
Simplicity is the key to all great music my friend.
Jealous hater, just enjoy the nice music.
@@MaskedPianist57 disagree with this...
@@MaskedPianist57Not every music
@@eel9he’s literally 15, probably better than you were when you were his age
Meh
Meh