Learn the Art of Science of Self-Knowledge - Sign up to the Know Yourself Programme: How to Talk to Yourself - the Active Imagination Course - knowyourself.makeitconscious.com/course/activeimagination The MiC Philosophy Course (only $7) - knowyourself.makeitconscious.com/course/micphilosophy
When I saw the title of this lesson, I really had to laugh to myself a little bit; the kernel of wisdom I received from my Sage figure during the exercise in the previous video was that I was given a pouch of seeds. I was told, effectively, “You get to choose how many seeds you plant, and where or when to plant them.” So seeing this title, “Planting a Seed,” so soon after, was a bit of a shock! Another really insightful session. I found that after reflecting on the 5 Elements and 5 Manifestations, many of my would-be questions seemed to answer themselves. Maybe I’m being too literal, however seeing my somatic manifestations in alignment to where I am in my own healing journey and general life issues, they all seemed very straight-forward. To the point that it took a while to come up with a question to use as my seed. Thank you for all of this. I’ll have to look into reading into more of the work of those whom you’ve mentioned throughout this talk, as some names have been unfamiliar. (Please feel free to share any particular book recommendations if you have them!) As I said, this session was really insightful and moving, as is so often the case. Really helpful in gaining clarity moving forward as well as looking back. My seed looked so rugged and like a raw wound, yet grew into something nurturing and beautiful. It was really interesting to consider the reciprocity in how it later nourished me very much the way I at first nourished it towards growth, to view that cycle as something so lovely and mutually beneficial. I think that previously I viewed our interactions (or lack thereof, lately) as being more of a unidirectional benefit - however now I can see so much more clearly that a cycle of creativity gives to you at least as much as you are able to give to it. I’m sure it will remain a process to bring this insight towards action, if I’m being realistic with myself. I should very much like to create a tangible symbol in my real life to represent what I envisioned as the seed when I started, and whose meaning shifted so much as the session continued. I’d love to be able to reconnect with it in my daily life to bring that lesson to the fore. I wonder if you have any thoughts on whether something like that would be beneficial, detrimental, or something else? (Or, rather, if you’d advise against making such an item, before I follow through? I don’t want to corrupt the vision, but I would like to be able to reconnect with it and recall those meaningful lessons and symbols.) I’m always astounded at how much depth of insight can be gained from such a short session. Thank you for offering and guiding these lessons and sessions; it’s always such an understatement to try to say how valuable they are. Whereas weeks or months or even years of journalling often seems to yield no firm insights, sometimes it feels like just by dipping a toe into these exercises, you find that the answers are so often just under the surface. Maybe the preliminary journalling attempts helped to bring those unconscious insights to more shallow waters, but it really surprises me every time. Like this unconscious part of the mind has been just waiting to tell me something, and the conscious mind has been just waiting to hear it… But the door between the two to allow communication just never got nudged open. So thank you so much for helping to open the door!
Hey Comorants, wonderful to hear you’re getting so much benefit from active imagination, and getting such clear insight into the workings of the interaction. Experiencing a gift of seeds from the Sage right before this exercise was a nice synchronicity. I love how you described the reciprocal interaction and cycle of creativity between yourself and the unconscious content. That’s a beautiful way of putting it. It can certainly feel like stumbling upon some ancient lost technology when you get into the groove with this practice. And you kind of are. Even though it’s just one tool among many complementary practices - like journaling, studying and bodywork for example - nothing seems to get quite to the heart of the matter like setting the conditions and engaging directly with your own inner voice. It benefits though from all other practices such as those I describe in the Seven Habits guide. If the answers to the questions seem straightforward it could suggest the conscious stance is taking the leading role in those moments. A generally useful approach is to explore where you feel conflict - wherever you are suffering or feel tension. Wherever there’s conflict, suffering, tension or irony, there’s potential insight to be gained. This is in fact the mind’s way of letting us know when we’ve become misaligned. You ask a great question about creating a tangible symbol. Inherently there is no problem with this. Jung and Johnson themselves discussed various ways of expressing the active imagination experience physically, including through painting and crafts. Using some reminder to bring the lesson to the fore can be useful as a means to integrate it. At the same time it’s important to recognise that what you experienced is part of you, always has and always will be, whether consciously or unconsciously. It may not be at the forefront of your mind all the time, but nothing can be and that’s OK. Your experience suggests something that can be made meaningfully conscious within yourself, and it sounds like you went some way to achieving that in the exercise. So there is a case for expression as a way to remind yourself and integrate the content, as well as for letting it go, knowing that it’s already where it needs to be. I’d recommend taking whichever path seems most conducive to making the unconscious conscious. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. They are fascinating for myself and others to read and also raise some really valuable points and questions. Good stuff. You’re very welcome and it’s great to hear how much the exercises are helping. Let me know if you have any follow-up questions and feel free to keep sharing your experiences🌟🔥
My seed was a reversed heart shape. It was dark brown coloured and like a velvet touch. I planted it : soon I saw growing a tree with a very short trunk and a unique form. The branches were glass forming an artichoke. It was breating: opening and closing with a sky blue light. The one and only word I received was 'breathe'. The element I chose was my incapacity to quit smoking.
Great work... a few thoughts that come up. Reversed symbols can sometimes simply mean the reverse of what they would mean upright, or a blockage in a particular area. A heart ordinarily might imply life, love or emotion. Often the latter. The suit of hearts in a deck of cards relates to emotion and feeling, corresponding to cups in a tarot deck. Emotion and feeling play a primary role in one's ability to make healthy choices or not. Addictive habits such as smoking often form as a way to negate certain feelings, and continued as a way to relieve the tension, becoming a part of the self-concept. Artichokes are often associated with lungs and can symbolise lungs. In part because they contain compounds believed to help respiratory health. Being made of glass could imply a kind of fragility. The blue light could hint at the throat area (throat chakra associated with blue) or tenuously something to do with wisdom or learning. My best guess is this is clearly expressing your relationship with smoking i.e. the potential consequences of continuing vs. the breath of life. In short, there's a part of you that wants to smoke and a part that doesn't. These parts are vying for control but each could learn more about itself by reconciling with the other. There are a number of exercises I can recommend for now, in addition to the BtL series. Transforming the Addiction - th-cam.com/video/VYRYf_TZXO8/w-d-xo.html Ace of Cups - th-cam.com/video/HES8LzxPaQI/w-d-xo.html Emotional Integration Meditation - th-cam.com/video/61SE-FBlxOY/w-d-xo.html Facing the Feeling - th-cam.com/video/oohHqPdqgnQ/w-d-xo.html Use the last two once you have an identified feeling associated with quitting. What comes up when you attempt to quit? Well done for sticking with these exercises. They are just one part of a full approach to reconciling with the self, but a potentially powerful part. Each time you engage with the unconscious mind successfully as you did here, you are taking another step towards reconciling with it. It is very much a gradual (and never ending) process. But every interaction makes a difference. Strength to you and feel free to keep sharing your experiences 🌟🔥
I have some questions. Sometimes when I do these exercises and read through comments from others’ experiences, it seems I’ve had similar images and experiences, sometimes even identical. Is that common, perhaps because of the theme you are presenting and our typical arsenal of symbolism for it? Or is this more “collectively psychic” in nature, and we are tapping into something deeper? Or is this something I’m doing? I certainly don’t mean to get into other spaces, but throughout my life I’ve felt an impulse to say very specific things which has led to very interesting conversations. And now that I’m aware that people are inherently psychic, no matter how much I try to ‘shield’ myself before engaging in bigger social settings I can’t turn it off. I know that happens to more people than just me, but if that is what’s happening then I guess I assumed that this time in my mind was my “safe space” to not engage with other energies. Maybe it’s because I’m not focusing correctly? I’m currently doing EMDR with my therapist, and it can take me several sessions to get to the root of the target. Possibly because it’s been unexamined for so long and I have a lot of untangling to do… and likely because no matter how consciously I want to face it, there is a part of me that is still avoidant. What are your thoughts on this? This is all so new that I don’t really know what resources to turn to for this specifically, or even if I’m in the right track. Also, how dare you call me out on my addiction to chocolate cake 😛
Hey Amber, thank you for your patience waiting for my answer to this one. Excellent questions, thanks for asking them. Rest assured your mind is working exactly the way it should be. You are likely tapping into elements of both your personal unconscious and the collective unconscious, the latter being a shared reservoir of archetypes and symbols common to all humanity. Although the emphasis can change depending on the seed you chose and your state of mind at the time. It’s not uncommon to experience similar symbols to others because of their collective nature and the themes of human experience and how they are represented. Similar symbols can also have different meanings for different people. I’ve often wondered what chocolate cake symbolises, now I know I’m not the only one 😅 The fact that I am guiding the exercise can influence what appears to an extent, but the aim is to keep you close to the seed of the interaction rather than prescribe it. So I think this is probably less of a factor in the themes you are noticing, although it is likely relevant that many people are all doing the same exercise with similar intentions and that you are tapping into some of that, which is cool to hear. Your experience is valuable because it is a direct insight into the workings of the psyche. We can talk about the psyche until the cows come home and still not really understand it. What you are doing is experiencing it directly, as it is. I would take your experience as a sign that you have this ability to access a realm of psychic material that may have been long forgotten, that it exists as a source of knowledge, and at the same time to embrace the mystery. Synchronicities can be very valuable in pointing towards further self-enquiry. It’s great that you are getting in touch with these abilities. There are many people who have pushed this part of themselves away for fear of how they might be perceived by others, but it’s a vital skill and part of your journey. It would be awesome to fully embrace this and see where it leads you.
@@makeitconscious All goodies, waiting is beneficial for me lol. Thank you, that’s very reassuring. Every few weeks I have almost the same moment where I feel the need to stop where my thoughts are leading and ask “Is this what it feels like to have a psychic break? If I keep this line of questioning or probing, will I come back the same?” Almost like Luke getting angry at Rey “You went straight to the dark”😂 And some days when I don’t feel crazy, I feel like I’m reading too much into signs and things that I hear, that I’m making it up. But most days I trust in the integration of what my body knows, and that spells and tarot aren’t doing the work for me, I am. But amazingly they manage to open some doors to get me where I need to be. At least where I think I should be. Anyways, I’m a great believer in affirmations and a personal favorite of mine lately is “I didn’t come this far to only come this far.” Still hoping I don’t go insane though 🤞🏻
My seed was dark brown and pitted on one side like a dented chestnut but smooth on the reverse with a seam running up the middle on the pitted side. Slightly pointed at one end, not dissimilar to the reverse heart shape Samsara described. I had intended to have a recent dream of a horse that left a herd to come to stand beside me, a beautiful dream filled with love as a focus of the exercise but was instead confronted with something akin to the demonic version of myself - coarse, bored, threatening, ultra masculine, aggressive and tough willed - in a word, dangerous. This version of me told me he was sick and tired of me not taking necessary and even small risks, bored of my inauthenticity and demanded I dig a deeper hole in the soil getting my hands dirty to plant the seed “properly and make the fxxxing effort”. When I planted the seed; a perfectly straight, thin but lusciously green and very leafy tree grew to about four feet high (it resembled the very leafy parts of a stick of celery if that makes sense). This shadow figure proclaimed as the tree grew “you see what great things we can do when we work together, you need me and my courage and I want to help you but if you keep boring me with your lack of authenticity I’ll do things to remind you I’m in here” and I noticed they also had grown taller and more muscular as well but also behaving more as an advisor or older sibling than as threateningly or unhinged as before but still using quite coarse terminology such as, “you need to grab life by the balls” for example.
Hey Chris, this is great. Excellent effort. The seed seems to imply duality, which then also shows up in you vs. the daemonic figure. Some might call this a shadow figure but I think the way you describe might be more precise in this situation, as a demonic version of yourself. It’s like an excessive or power-driven version of certain qualities you already hold consciously. All qualities have both light and dark aspects after all. Does that resonate with you, or would you say it was more an ‘opposite’ to how you like to show up? The seed here seems to represent the duality of light and dangerous manifestations of a single energy, rather than opposite qualities per se. Often it’s not only our opposites that arouse fear, but the very power and danger contained within our primary conscious stance. Which, in a curious turn, to wield constructively we need to reconcile with the shadow or opposite, since that is the thing left behind. Going back to the dream briefly. The horse leaving the herd to stand beside you seems symbolic of the drive for freedom, of breaking free of the expectations of others. It’s very possible this comes from the same place. But the power driven themes of the AI experience point to a resistance to some aspect, likely to the very devilish drive you need in order to attain true freedom. The key here is not to submit to it per se, but to reconcile with it and wield it consciously. In doing so it can retain its practicality but shake off its ‘demonic’ configuration. It sounds like nonetheless the outcome was a productive one. The tree has many symbolic connotations but for one it is a feminine symbol, of earth’s natural bounty and generosity. In the tarot The Devil is associated with the element of earth which is in itself, technically, feminine. I still wonder where this feminine aspect fits in to the overall dynamic. This figure is certainly having some very stern words with you that would not look out of place in Jung’s Red Book. He is still under it all trying to move the relationship to a place of collaboration, rather than either of you having dominion over each other or anyone. That might be the thing to continue working on. Can you deepen a relationship with this part of you to the point of neither resisting its power nor trying to overcome it?
@ I have been known to have perfectly honed drive in some areas of my life which has led to success (eg musical ability, work, reading Jungian and other psychology books, becoming sober and substance free and getting physically fit again in the last year and half) but lack courage in others - most painfully, in romantic endeavours where I can experience fear of expressing my feelings and appropriately using my masculine energies; particularly in times of conflict resulting in undesired outcomes (ie being the patient “nice guy” then suddenly becoming angry and verbally sharp tongued), so this demon is not a total stranger to me at all in my conscious life and I see the message being conveyed as one of utilising these energies appropriately such as having clear boundaries and a clear vision of my own needs to begin with. The need to harness this side of me is a large driver for my inner work. Based on Robert Moore’s lectures and “King, Warrior Magician, Lover” Co written with Douglas Gillette, I have in a practical way tried to harness this masculine energy by taking up Archery in an overwhelmingly male (ex military men for example) dominated club and weight training in efforts to harness a more disciplined and useful form of the “Warrior” archetype. Synchronously, I found an old chestnut in my house this morning that my ex and I had collected, hidden behind a picture on a window sill, it has indeed become slightly pitted and has a seam up the middle! I could hardly believe it as the relevance of the connection between the seed and the demonic figure - the playing out of those behaviours within that relationship was unbelievably painful to my own best interests and desires, through a failure to harness and to wield those more honourable warrior archetype energies. As for the dream I had intended to focus on, I had it a couple of months ago but it has stuck as it was a beautiful dream full of feelings of love. The start of the dream was like a forest park, there were small yappy dogs with owners who were all women but not very pleasant people. I walked over a very small narrow stone foot bridge that was only about three foot long and entered into a kind of clearing covered in leaves where there were no dogs and no people, totally silent, it seemed like they had all vanished. Suddenly a large herd of brown horses stampeded past me and I observed with awe their muscles and power. As I was standing there, one of the horses left the herd and calmly came over to me. It had a strongly feminine energy and I knew it had chosen me, I was rubbing its forehead and it almost seemed to be smiling back at me. Even as I dreamt I felt it was a representation of pure, unconditional love and as if the horse contained the soul of something like what James Hollis might call the Magical Other. Is this maybe some container for my Anima or a projection of desire for love in this way?
Learn the Art of Science of Self-Knowledge - Sign up to the Know Yourself Programme:
How to Talk to Yourself - the Active Imagination Course - knowyourself.makeitconscious.com/course/activeimagination
The MiC Philosophy Course (only $7) - knowyourself.makeitconscious.com/course/micphilosophy
When I saw the title of this lesson, I really had to laugh to myself a little bit; the kernel of wisdom I received from my Sage figure during the exercise in the previous video was that I was given a pouch of seeds. I was told, effectively, “You get to choose how many seeds you plant, and where or when to plant them.” So seeing this title, “Planting a Seed,” so soon after, was a bit of a shock!
Another really insightful session. I found that after reflecting on the 5 Elements and 5 Manifestations, many of my would-be questions seemed to answer themselves. Maybe I’m being too literal, however seeing my somatic manifestations in alignment to where I am in my own healing journey and general life issues, they all seemed very straight-forward. To the point that it took a while to come up with a question to use as my seed. Thank you for all of this. I’ll have to look into reading into more of the work of those whom you’ve mentioned throughout this talk, as some names have been unfamiliar. (Please feel free to share any particular book recommendations if you have them!)
As I said, this session was really insightful and moving, as is so often the case. Really helpful in gaining clarity moving forward as well as looking back. My seed looked so rugged and like a raw wound, yet grew into something nurturing and beautiful. It was really interesting to consider the reciprocity in how it later nourished me very much the way I at first nourished it towards growth, to view that cycle as something so lovely and mutually beneficial. I think that previously I viewed our interactions (or lack thereof, lately) as being more of a unidirectional benefit - however now I can see so much more clearly that a cycle of creativity gives to you at least as much as you are able to give to it.
I’m sure it will remain a process to bring this insight towards action, if I’m being realistic with myself. I should very much like to create a tangible symbol in my real life to represent what I envisioned as the seed when I started, and whose meaning shifted so much as the session continued. I’d love to be able to reconnect with it in my daily life to bring that lesson to the fore. I wonder if you have any thoughts on whether something like that would be beneficial, detrimental, or something else? (Or, rather, if you’d advise against making such an item, before I follow through? I don’t want to corrupt the vision, but I would like to be able to reconnect with it and recall those meaningful lessons and symbols.)
I’m always astounded at how much depth of insight can be gained from such a short session. Thank you for offering and guiding these lessons and sessions; it’s always such an understatement to try to say how valuable they are. Whereas weeks or months or even years of journalling often seems to yield no firm insights, sometimes it feels like just by dipping a toe into these exercises, you find that the answers are so often just under the surface. Maybe the preliminary journalling attempts helped to bring those unconscious insights to more shallow waters, but it really surprises me every time. Like this unconscious part of the mind has been just waiting to tell me something, and the conscious mind has been just waiting to hear it… But the door between the two to allow communication just never got nudged open. So thank you so much for helping to open the door!
Hey Comorants, wonderful to hear you’re getting so much benefit from active imagination, and getting such clear insight into the workings of the interaction. Experiencing a gift of seeds from the Sage right before this exercise was a nice synchronicity. I love how you described the reciprocal interaction and cycle of creativity between yourself and the unconscious content. That’s a beautiful way of putting it.
It can certainly feel like stumbling upon some ancient lost technology when you get into the groove with this practice. And you kind of are. Even though it’s just one tool among many complementary practices - like journaling, studying and bodywork for example - nothing seems to get quite to the heart of the matter like setting the conditions and engaging directly with your own inner voice. It benefits though from all other practices such as those I describe in the Seven Habits guide.
If the answers to the questions seem straightforward it could suggest the conscious stance is taking the leading role in those moments. A generally useful approach is to explore where you feel conflict - wherever you are suffering or feel tension. Wherever there’s conflict, suffering, tension or irony, there’s potential insight to be gained. This is in fact the mind’s way of letting us know when we’ve become misaligned.
You ask a great question about creating a tangible symbol. Inherently there is no problem with this. Jung and Johnson themselves discussed various ways of expressing the active imagination experience physically, including through painting and crafts. Using some reminder to bring the lesson to the fore can be useful as a means to integrate it. At the same time it’s important to recognise that what you experienced is part of you, always has and always will be, whether consciously or unconsciously. It may not be at the forefront of your mind all the time, but nothing can be and that’s OK. Your experience suggests something that can be made meaningfully conscious within yourself, and it sounds like you went some way to achieving that in the exercise. So there is a case for expression as a way to remind yourself and integrate the content, as well as for letting it go, knowing that it’s already where it needs to be. I’d recommend taking whichever path seems most conducive to making the unconscious conscious.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. They are fascinating for myself and others to read and also raise some really valuable points and questions. Good stuff.
You’re very welcome and it’s great to hear how much the exercises are helping. Let me know if you have any follow-up questions and feel free to keep sharing your experiences🌟🔥
Thanks Max.
You're welcome SleepyLee!
My seed was a reversed heart shape. It was dark brown coloured and like a velvet touch. I planted it : soon I saw growing a tree with a very short trunk and a unique form. The branches were glass forming an artichoke. It was breating: opening and closing with a sky blue light. The one and only word I received was 'breathe'. The element I chose was my incapacity to quit smoking.
Great work... a few thoughts that come up. Reversed symbols can sometimes simply mean the reverse of what they would mean upright, or a blockage in a particular area. A heart ordinarily might imply life, love or emotion. Often the latter. The suit of hearts in a deck of cards relates to emotion and feeling, corresponding to cups in a tarot deck. Emotion and feeling play a primary role in one's ability to make healthy choices or not. Addictive habits such as smoking often form as a way to negate certain feelings, and continued as a way to relieve the tension, becoming a part of the self-concept.
Artichokes are often associated with lungs and can symbolise lungs. In part because they contain compounds believed to help respiratory health. Being made of glass could imply a kind of fragility. The blue light could hint at the throat area (throat chakra associated with blue) or tenuously something to do with wisdom or learning.
My best guess is this is clearly expressing your relationship with smoking i.e. the potential consequences of continuing vs. the breath of life. In short, there's a part of you that wants to smoke and a part that doesn't. These parts are vying for control but each could learn more about itself by reconciling with the other.
There are a number of exercises I can recommend for now, in addition to the BtL series.
Transforming the Addiction - th-cam.com/video/VYRYf_TZXO8/w-d-xo.html
Ace of Cups - th-cam.com/video/HES8LzxPaQI/w-d-xo.html
Emotional Integration Meditation - th-cam.com/video/61SE-FBlxOY/w-d-xo.html
Facing the Feeling - th-cam.com/video/oohHqPdqgnQ/w-d-xo.html
Use the last two once you have an identified feeling associated with quitting. What comes up when you attempt to quit?
Well done for sticking with these exercises. They are just one part of a full approach to reconciling with the self, but a potentially powerful part. Each time you engage with the unconscious mind successfully as you did here, you are taking another step towards reconciling with it. It is very much a gradual (and never ending) process. But every interaction makes a difference.
Strength to you and feel free to keep sharing your experiences 🌟🔥
I have some questions. Sometimes when I do these exercises and read through comments from others’ experiences, it seems I’ve had similar images and experiences, sometimes even identical. Is that common, perhaps because of the theme you are presenting and our typical arsenal of symbolism for it? Or is this more “collectively psychic” in nature, and we are tapping into something deeper?
Or is this something I’m doing? I certainly don’t mean to get into other spaces, but throughout my life I’ve felt an impulse to say very specific things which has led to very interesting conversations. And now that I’m aware that people are inherently psychic, no matter how much I try to ‘shield’ myself before engaging in bigger social settings I can’t turn it off. I know that happens to more people than just me, but if that is what’s happening then I guess I assumed that this time in my mind was my “safe space” to not engage with other energies.
Maybe it’s because I’m not focusing correctly? I’m currently doing EMDR with my therapist, and it can take me several sessions to get to the root of the target. Possibly because it’s been unexamined for so long and I have a lot of untangling to do… and likely because no matter how consciously I want to face it, there is a part of me that is still avoidant.
What are your thoughts on this? This is all so new that I don’t really know what resources to turn to for this specifically, or even if I’m in the right track. Also, how dare you call me out on my addiction to chocolate cake 😛
Hey Amber, thank you for your patience waiting for my answer to this one. Excellent questions, thanks for asking them.
Rest assured your mind is working exactly the way it should be. You are likely tapping into elements of both your personal unconscious and the collective unconscious, the latter being a shared reservoir of archetypes and symbols common to all humanity. Although the emphasis can change depending on the seed you chose and your state of mind at the time. It’s not uncommon to experience similar symbols to others because of their collective nature and the themes of human experience and how they are represented. Similar symbols can also have different meanings for different people. I’ve often wondered what chocolate cake symbolises, now I know I’m not the only one 😅
The fact that I am guiding the exercise can influence what appears to an extent, but the aim is to keep you close to the seed of the interaction rather than prescribe it. So I think this is probably less of a factor in the themes you are noticing, although it is likely relevant that many people are all doing the same exercise with similar intentions and that you are tapping into some of that, which is cool to hear.
Your experience is valuable because it is a direct insight into the workings of the psyche. We can talk about the psyche until the cows come home and still not really understand it. What you are doing is experiencing it directly, as it is.
I would take your experience as a sign that you have this ability to access a realm of psychic material that may have been long forgotten, that it exists as a source of knowledge, and at the same time to embrace the mystery. Synchronicities can be very valuable in pointing towards further self-enquiry.
It’s great that you are getting in touch with these abilities. There are many people who have pushed this part of themselves away for fear of how they might be perceived by others, but it’s a vital skill and part of your journey. It would be awesome to fully embrace this and see where it leads you.
@@makeitconscious All goodies, waiting is beneficial for me lol. Thank you, that’s very reassuring. Every few weeks I have almost the same moment where I feel the need to stop where my thoughts are leading and ask “Is this what it feels like to have a psychic break? If I keep this line of questioning or probing, will I come back the same?” Almost like Luke getting angry at Rey “You went straight to the dark”😂
And some days when I don’t feel crazy, I feel like I’m reading too much into signs and things that I hear, that I’m making it up. But most days I trust in the integration of what my body knows, and that spells and tarot aren’t doing the work for me, I am. But amazingly they manage to open some doors to get me where I need to be. At least where I think I should be. Anyways, I’m a great believer in affirmations and a personal favorite of mine lately is “I didn’t come this far to only come this far.” Still hoping I don’t go insane though 🤞🏻
My seed was dark brown and pitted on one side like a dented chestnut but smooth on the reverse with a seam running up the middle on the pitted side. Slightly pointed at one end, not dissimilar to the reverse heart shape Samsara described. I had intended to have a recent dream of a horse that left a herd to come to stand beside me, a beautiful dream filled with love as a focus of the exercise but was instead confronted with something akin to the demonic version of myself - coarse, bored, threatening, ultra masculine, aggressive and tough willed - in a word, dangerous. This version of me told me he was sick and tired of me not taking necessary and even small risks, bored of my inauthenticity and demanded I dig a deeper hole in the soil getting my hands dirty to plant the seed “properly and make the fxxxing effort”. When I planted the seed; a perfectly straight, thin but lusciously green and very leafy tree grew to about four feet high (it resembled the very leafy parts of a stick of celery if that makes sense). This shadow figure proclaimed as the tree grew “you see what great things we can do when we work together, you need me and my courage and I want to help you but if you keep boring me with your lack of authenticity I’ll do things to remind you I’m in here” and I noticed they also had grown taller and more muscular as well but also behaving more as an advisor or older sibling than as threateningly or unhinged as before but still using quite coarse terminology such as, “you need to grab life by the balls” for example.
Hey Chris, this is great. Excellent effort. The seed seems to imply duality, which then also shows up in you vs. the daemonic figure. Some might call this a shadow figure but I think the way you describe might be more precise in this situation, as a demonic version of yourself. It’s like an excessive or power-driven version of certain qualities you already hold consciously. All qualities have both light and dark aspects after all. Does that resonate with you, or would you say it was more an ‘opposite’ to how you like to show up? The seed here seems to represent the duality of light and dangerous manifestations of a single energy, rather than opposite qualities per se. Often it’s not only our opposites that arouse fear, but the very power and danger contained within our primary conscious stance. Which, in a curious turn, to wield constructively we need to reconcile with the shadow or opposite, since that is the thing left behind.
Going back to the dream briefly. The horse leaving the herd to stand beside you seems symbolic of the drive for freedom, of breaking free of the expectations of others. It’s very possible this comes from the same place. But the power driven themes of the AI experience point to a resistance to some aspect, likely to the very devilish drive you need in order to attain true freedom. The key here is not to submit to it per se, but to reconcile with it and wield it consciously. In doing so it can retain its practicality but shake off its ‘demonic’ configuration.
It sounds like nonetheless the outcome was a productive one. The tree has many symbolic connotations but for one it is a feminine symbol, of earth’s natural bounty and generosity. In the tarot The Devil is associated with the element of earth which is in itself, technically, feminine. I still wonder where this feminine aspect fits in to the overall dynamic.
This figure is certainly having some very stern words with you that would not look out of place in Jung’s Red Book. He is still under it all trying to move the relationship to a place of collaboration, rather than either of you having dominion over each other or anyone. That might be the thing to continue working on. Can you deepen a relationship with this part of you to the point of neither resisting its power nor trying to overcome it?
@ I have been known to have perfectly honed drive in some areas of my life which has led to success (eg musical ability, work, reading Jungian and other psychology books, becoming sober and substance free and getting physically fit again in the last year and half) but lack courage in others - most painfully, in romantic endeavours where I can experience fear of expressing my feelings and appropriately using my masculine energies; particularly in times of conflict resulting in undesired outcomes (ie being the patient “nice guy” then suddenly becoming angry and verbally sharp tongued), so this demon is not a total stranger to me at all in my conscious life and I see the message being conveyed as one of utilising these energies appropriately such as having clear boundaries and a clear vision of my own needs to begin with. The need to harness this side of me is a large driver for my inner work.
Based on Robert Moore’s lectures and “King, Warrior Magician, Lover” Co written with Douglas Gillette, I have in a practical way tried to harness this masculine energy by taking up Archery in an overwhelmingly male (ex military men for example) dominated club and weight training in efforts to harness a more disciplined and useful form of the “Warrior” archetype.
Synchronously, I found an old chestnut in my house this morning that my ex and I had collected, hidden behind a picture on a window sill, it has indeed become slightly pitted and has a seam up the middle! I could hardly believe it as the relevance of the connection between the seed and the demonic figure - the playing out of those behaviours within that relationship was unbelievably painful to my own best interests and desires, through a failure to harness and to wield those more honourable warrior archetype energies.
As for the dream I had intended to focus on, I had it a couple of months ago but it has stuck as it was a beautiful dream full of feelings of love. The start of the dream was like a forest park, there were small yappy dogs with owners who were all women but not very pleasant people. I walked over a very small narrow stone foot bridge that was only about three foot long and entered into a kind of clearing covered in leaves where there were no dogs and no people, totally silent, it seemed like they had all vanished. Suddenly a large herd of brown horses stampeded past me and I observed with awe their muscles and power. As I was standing there, one of the horses left the herd and calmly came over to me. It had a strongly feminine energy and I knew it had chosen me, I was rubbing its forehead and it almost seemed to be smiling back at me. Even as I dreamt I felt it was a representation of pure, unconditional love and as if the horse contained the soul of something like what James Hollis might call the Magical Other. Is this maybe some container for my Anima or a projection of desire for love in this way?