What is the enneagram wing for a self preservation 2 "Adorable 2? Thank you Dr. Tom for making the best video on the Two Ever. I thought I was a type 4, 6 or even 7 but your example of the Enneagram 2 Adorable subtype describes me to a T. I also thought I was an INFP because I thought I was more introverted but now I know the Adorable 2 is just the more introverted version of 2/ENFP. My OCD has been killing me for the 3 years I have studied MBTI and Enneagram not being sure which one I was but now I do thanks to you! My husband is an INTP 7 Wing 6 and we have the most fun relationship ever
@@killianwinterfell9802 3 wing is more common in this subtype, but the subtype doesn't automatically determine your wing. You could still be either one.
@killianwinterfell9802 Hi there! I'm a 2w1 self preservation subtype. It also describes me. I also have OCD, which comes from my one wing. Self preservation ones are prone to OCD and perfectionism. Sometimes I score INFP, and other times I score ENFP. I would say you sound more like a 2w1 because of the OCD 💜
Heyy is it okay if you can describe your experiences with the sexual 2 variant? I can’t really imagine how “sx 2 ‘femme fatale’” plays out in a guy... What happens to you if you are attracted to someone?
@@Regina061 Yeah no problem! Like how another comment bellow described how the sexual 2 kinda morphs into trying to be the perfect lomg term partner, that is a part of my relationships that i notice i fall into. I always try to be the "best person i can be" which was when i was younger changing into the person i think they want. The seductive nature comes with I am selective in who i pursue romantically. I carry myself with confidence, try to be witty and am passionate about things that interest me. My friends say i flirt with everyone but i dont really go after someone unless I can find a deep connection with them (typically career based cause I'm studying to be a pastor). In my mind personality and establishing that connection largely determines attractiveness (this mirrors how girls determine attraction but is unusual for guys to do this). Someone could be a 10 out of 10 in looks, but unless I can connect with them I don't pursue them.
The seduction and charm of a sexual two isn't outward to just anyone. Sexual twos are well aware that they COULD charm and manipulate whoever to get what they want (pride) but they don't chose to do that to just anyone because of their underlying fear of failure (shame.) Rather, sexual twos will unconsciously study the person that they desire over a period of time and then shape shift into everything that person wants and needs in every circumstance.. So that way they cant (and won't) fail to win that person's affection. Most sexual twos are only focussed on deep relationships. They are great at surface level interactions because they can shape shift to mesh and get along with anyone, but it always ends up feeling shallow, pointless and exhausting to them. If a sexual two is too caught up in surface level interactions they will become depressed, feeling like something is missing. Sexual twos live for deep intimacy and soul connections. Most of their friendships last a lifetime, and if they don't it's beause of the other party, and the sexual two feels abandoned brcause of it.. Like someome took a piece of themselves with them as they left. If a sexual two is in a committed relationship or married, their entire world revolves around that specific person and they are trying to win that person's approval and undivided attention to continually fill the void of shame, their worth lies in how well they fit the mold of their partners every want and need. 2 halves = whole (Love) Personally, It wasn't until Jesus filled the void of shame that I ever felt completely whole. Sexual twos feel like they need someone or something else to feel whole, because they themselves arent ever enough (shame.) They long for their "happily every after" and romanticize about it as if it is Eden.. Like love is the answer for everything.
“There’s two types of people... the ones that love me and the ones that don’t know me well enough yet” LOL facts 😂 thanks Dr. L, you rock and I am so grateful for your content and presence!
I cried when you said thank you and sorry we took you for granted. I do really feel I am able to see myself clearer and understand myself a bit more after watching your 2 videos. I find myself showing traits of 8 which I don't want to but moving to 4 is scary, it's hard to be content with just yourself, not feeling needed or loved by people around you.
Can someone please help me figure out if I am a enneagram 2. When listening to all of the 2s core desires and fears and everything I relate a lot to the feeling of wanting to be needed and doing things and hoping in return people will appreciate or do something for me back. When it comes to that I think I am a two but I also feel like I don’t overextended myself to help people. Of course if someone ask for help I’ll do it but I feel like I am not a regally really helpful person. It might be becuase I am only in high school but idk. I also feel like I get into conflicts sometimes. I read somewhere that 2s never say no but I feel like with my family I almost always don’t want to do what they ask like empty the dishwasher or clean my room. I read a few books on all the different types and I don’t really feel like I match any of the other core desires and fears but idk. Anything would help. Also maybe I am a 2w3 becuase it seems more like me. I also could be a certain subtype so tell me what subtype you think I am
@@emmahintz830 I completely relate with what you said about feeling lazy regarding chores. I think most 2s are ambitious with the arts, but not practical things as much.
Right especially when everyone around you take you for granted. They only want you to play "the nice servant" , but don't respect you on a deeper level or what you try to do. The 8 in me is always like alright watch what happens I'll play your roll then when the sh** hits the fan you gonna look to me for help and I'm gonna say I told you so. Lol that's the evil side to being a 2. Don't take me for granted cause when I walk away you're gonna feel it!
I was thinking about how you talked about the preservation 2 offering help but secretly hoping someone else would do it. I remember at my church, members used to bring snacks every Sunday for after service. Then the church moved and we quit doing that for about 2 years. Well when I was about 20 I decided everyone was leaving too quickly and not fellowshipping, so I started bringing snack again. My Mom asked a few other ladies and pretty soon we had a rotation in place again. Well some of the ladies started bringing really fancy homemade stuff, which stressed out my mother since she didn't have time to make fancy food. So I purposely would bring store bought items and I told people it was "to keep the bar from getting too high." but also I didn't want to bring snack anymore and I was hoping the other ladies would take over. Sure enough, about 2 months down the line, I was 100% out of rotation. I was quite pleased. I improved my church's fellowship time, so I felt I had done my duty, and I was no longer in charge of or participating in the food service. I could just chat and have a nice time. And people still thanked me for restarting the fellowship time. Win win win. :D
The sexual 2 is more subtle. It’s a blushing cheek and a nibble of the lip. Def they won’t run their hand through your hair because it might cross a line. Think batting eyelashes.
I have several sides or parts of self because of severe and repeated trauma. One of my main parts is a 2w1 self preservation subtype. The reason I don't want to be in places of authority is because I was parentified and spousified by both parents. As a young child, I was responsible for their wellbeing and it was too much to handle. Having someone's life in your hands is an overwhelming amount of pressure, and enough pressure to traumatize a child. I avoid being in places of authority so that I don't have to be reminded of that pain.
11:53- 100% true. And when you’ve got two 2s, you’ve got a Wild West Showdown. My mother-in-law and I are both 2s and trying to decide who sits last is the funniest for our family. 😆
Thank you this is such a great video and series !!! I was just thinking it might be useful to make your videos less gendered. I know a lot of 2s that are men (my ex boyfriend being a sexual 2) and I think describing the 2 as the "girlfriend" for example and generally portraying the 2 as a women, as it is a traditionally feminine type, can unwillingly exclude men and prevent them from recognising themselves within the type... which is a shame !! :)
I just started exploring enneagrams, and I came out tied as a 2, 8 and 7. It made no sense to me, and my husband insisted I'm a 2. Being a 2w3 ( and my test came out 1.social, 2.sexual, 3.)self preservation. Your description totally sounds like me, and explains why I answered some questions as an 8- I am confident and passionate in my work (as a teacher leader, go figure!). Now I can start my spiritual work on this! Thank you so much for your clear description!
“Don’t have a panic attack” 🤣🤣 Self preservation 2 here! Spot on 😳🤣 Thank you for all your time and effort in creating this great video! The Beverly Hillbillies 🤣 I can see it!
Do you think that I could also be a self preservation based off of this. Can someone please help me figure out if I am a enneagram 2. When listening to all of the 2s core desires and fears and everything I relate a lot to the feeling of wanting to be needed and doing things and hoping in return people will appreciate or do something for me back. When it comes to that I think I am a two but I also feel like I don’t overextended myself to help people. Of course if someone ask for help I’ll do it but I feel like I am not a regally really helpful person. It might be becuase I am only in high school but idk. I also feel like I get into conflicts sometimes. I read somewhere that 2s never say no but I feel like with my family I almost always don’t want to do what they ask like empty the dishwasher or clean my room. I read a few books on all the different types and I don’t really feel like I match any of the other core desires and fears but idk. Anything would help. Also maybe I am a 2w3 becuase it seems more like me. I also could be a certain subtype so tell me what subtype you think I am
You have cleared up so much! I am a social 2 but I (for some reason) mistyped myself as a 9 cause they can blend with the other types...but I only ever really thought I shared characteristics of an 8,7 3,2,&1 hahaha whaaaaa! Makes sense! 🤷🏻♀️👏🏼
Listening-so much value here! I did just hear your statement about 2s-that everybody loves me and those who don’t just don’t know me-and don’t relate to that at all. I don’t have that sort of positive (deluded!) assumption about my inherent worth or value to others. I do relate to Wanting everybody to like me, and being Loved by everyone would be like delicious birthday cake everywhere I went, but shame and pride are in there too. I have spent quite a long time developing my Facade of attractiveness and generosity and “goodness,” but have gotten more and more aware that my giving isn’t genuine or deep (enough) if I can be so easily triggered into resentment or judgment when it’s not returned in the way that feels best to me.
What you just said rings true for me as well! I feel like when people don’t like me then it’s on me and I have done something wrong. Maybe not worked hard enough or they see a flaw and I haven’t been able to “win” them over quite yet bc something is wrong with me. A lot of Shame and guilt. But I did say “yet” so maybe I do think I can still make them like me at some point! Bc at some point they have to see my good deeds and figure out that I am good? Hmmm...interesting.
@@SoaringAboveItAll thanks, Rachel-you nailed it! That feeling of “you just don’t really know me yet” doesn’t stem from ego on my part, thinking I’m just so incredible that of course everyone likes me, but more of “here I am trying so hard to do everything right and if they just knew that, they would agree that I’m lovable.” I hear a lot of type 1 in that statement too...?
Thx for the insight. The funny thing is my brother is a sp 2, my dad is a so 2, and I'm a sx 2 so I've seen all the 2 personalities in person. So that kinda described the difference between us even though we're all 2s. Thx for that. That's the exact video I needed.
SP 2 is possibly Rapunzel. She seems like a 7 because her whole story arc is breaking out of that tower and her many hobbies, but her primary fear is displeasing and hurting others, and along the way all she does is love people, act innocent and cute, and get everyone including the police horse to do everything for her. She isn't afraid of the tower and imprisonment, she's afraid of breaking her mother's heart and afraid of what will she do once her dream of seeing the lanterns come true. Possibility doesn't delight her, it scares her because now she has to find a purpose, which ironically enough she immediately finds in being in love with Flynn. And her growth and actual arc isn't in finding freedom, but in becoming an adult who stands up to her mother and takes responsibility for her venturing out into the world and surviving (instead of laying it on Flynn and her "Mother").
Thank you for making all these videos. They are really helpful in enhancing my self-awareness. I have several questions on this topic. Would it be possible to have multiple subtypes or to have subtype jump between different subtypes? What would be the trigger to shift between different subtypes? For a healthy person, should we balance all the subtypes? What if we know what type we are and maybe what behaviours of the subtypes we inherit, then how can we use that knowledge to improve ourselves? I feel like I am a very blended 2 with many of the behaviours of all subtypes (depending on different stages of life/situations and who I'm with).
Self pres 2 is described terribly. Not his fault. Instead of “childlike” i think of it as “I’m making myself small and unassuming so you don’t find me threatening” kind of like a 6. But doing it in a flattering way. Smiling. Flirtatious. Innocent.
No. I'm sp 2 and the description is so spot on it's scary. Not being threatening is so out of left field IMO. Why would a 2 focus on that? I never had issues with people finding me threatening. Actually my issue is no one finding me threatening ever. Which I don't see as an issue because my cuteness plays into it most of the time, so it does not get in my way.
SP 2 is possibly Rapunzel. She seems like a 7 because her whole story arc is breaking out of that tower and her many hobbies, but her primary fear is displeasing and hurting others, and along the way all she does is love people, act innocent and cute, and get everyone including the police horse to do everything for her. She isn't afraid of the tower and imprisonment, she's afraid of breaking her mother's heart and afraid of what will she do once her dream of seeing the lanterns come true. Possibility doesn't delight her, it scares her because now she has to find a purpose, which ironically enough she immediately finds in being in love with Flynn. And her growth and actual arc isn't in finding freedom, but in becoming an adult who stands up to her mother and takes responsibility for her venturing out into the world and surviving (instead of laying it on Flynn and her "Mother").
The self-preservation seemed to describe me the most. It didn’t feel very flattering. I feel like I have a lot of “work” to do get to a healthier place. But maybe hearing this can help me understand myself better and be a bit more aware of what I’m doing.
I scored high on 2 & 6 so this makes more sense now. At first I was confused as to how I scored that way, but I’m starting to understand now. I got 2, but if wings are taken into account it said I’m a 6w7. Then I took a secondary test and it said 2w3. They all sound just like me so I started to think that maybe I was really messed up to have to many different personalities, but now after watching this it’s all starting to make sense.
This was really fascinating for me. When I was younger, I was a very strong self-preservation two. I have moved more towards the adults two now. I don’t see myself as a sexual two at all. But number one and number two I saw lots of me in both of those. Oh, and I have talked myself out of plenty of tickets. I have only been given a ticket, one time in my life, despite having deserved many more than that. Totally saw myself in that example.
I think one of the best films to illustrate en.2, especially how the 2 are prideful and how 2 under stress goes to 8 is "Dogville" (2003), by Lars von Trier. I think Nicole Kidman's character Grace is the adorable 2. Actually Trier's filmography is all about 2s - "Dancer in the dark" is about how 2 goes to 4 and so on (If I am correct Bjork's character is also an adorable 2) .
Feel like I can write an essay on this... instead I would dare say it: I feel like 15% selfp. 25% Social and 60% sexual 2... hope that’s make sense... but it’s true.. saw myself in all the scenarios! The most in 3 one!💯💓🙏🌸Thank you 🙏🙏
I identified with aspects of all 3 also, but I’m still not sure which one I identify with the most. Is it better to take a test to find out my subtype or just research them and decide for myself?
Wondering what references/resources you used to come to these conclusions and interpretations? In some of your other videos you hold up and refer to the books that you used to help you. I find this extremely helpful. Thanks 👍🏻
Just found this video! I have to say that I see the similarities between the 2 and the 7 too! I thought I was a 7 for a long while, but then I recently found out that wasn't the case at all! So I can totally understand how some traits and behaviors really overlap between the two. It was enough to get me confused, but I'm glad I figured it out. Oh! Also this video was very helpful and full of great information! I can't wait to check out more videos!
I'm a 9w1 (don't know my subtype, yet. Watching that one next!), but I get so confused when learning about 2s because I relate to them so much. I saw parts of me in the SP2 description. But I also relate to 4s a lot!
I feel like I may be a sexual two in my instincts, but I’m really bad at it haha! I subconsciously attempt to get people to like me by doing what I think they want and being charming, but I somehow always get it wrong, and it’s hard for me to form relationships. I’m still trying to decide what I am though, so maybe I’m not even a two!
I think I have had aspects of all these twos, but as a matured turned more to a social two. I was probably a seductive two in my late teens and 20’s. I was probably a self preservation two as a child into my early teens.
So glad for this video! I'm always disappointed at how 2's are stereotyped the same way.. bending over backwards to wash every dish and make everyone cookies. I'm thinking I might be the self preservation 2, or at least it's my secondary subtype.
Good job, but definitely felt a bit shafted as a male 2. 😪( That's kinda my 8 stress point talking 😬). I enjoy your videos tho and really appreciate your content! It's just.. I know your wife is a 2.. and it's actually super cute how much you love her, but this video is not just for her and other female 2s, right?🤔
Finally understanding the closest people in my life with these subtype videos!!! For the longest I couldn't figure out if my friend was a 7 or 4w3 and now I see why..! She is a self-pres 2
You're so welcome! I used to be around a 2w3 self-pres... person and, at first I thought she was a 7. Yes, this particular person was often told she was annoying as well.
@@twlahue hmm....I am a 2w3 and I have hit for the self preservation once but mainly the test says sexual. No one has told me I am annoying but I am guessing that is a hard one to say to someone. I do see myself possibly fluctuating between all the subtypes here. It’s weird.
@@SoaringAboveItAll they don't dare to tell you that out of fear you gonna break into tears! Just being mean sp 2w3's are a lot of fun too thats why they look like 7s sometimes! 😊
sp 2 really reminds me of bubbly girls and boys who act cute and want everything. Honestly love them but I want to be spoiled as well so I don't think I would get along with sp 2s
Over the course of my life, I have been every one of these twos.😂 And growth has been moving towards the adult two. And I agree, I see a lot of overlap with the seven. I exhibit a lot of seven behaviors. And in fact, I have tended to be in relationships with sixes or sevens. I think the balance between the two can be good and those types might admire the qualities of or aspire to be more like one another? A two can definitely learn to be more self referencing and self-serving like a seven. Whereas the seven might be able to learn to be more of a servant like the two. In this way, each type can move away from their pitfalls and towards health. Whether this actually happens in real life, I’m not sure! 😂
Self Preservation 2's: Perhaps "Legally Blonde" character played by Reese Witherspoon? And Mother of homeschooling family in bus in Robin Williams movie "RV"...?
I think the 2s acting like 7s, that you're seeing, is that they are both positive numbers. They both avoid their negative feelings (as does 9) Also... Sp 2: Charles Boyle, snow white Sx 2: Majorie Tyrell, The assistant in VEEP So 2 is the one I personally dont know well. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I love all the research you've done. Its extremely helpful ❤
Very good. Maybe I’m a social 2 but mistyped myself as a 4 wing 5. Social 2 sounds exactly like me. Where else would a very relational, well networked mom and human rights lawyer fit into the enneagram. Thank you very much, will be studying this.
Man, the only problem with your video is that I don't know any of those TV shows! I hoped to hear from FRIENDS, How I met your mother and The Big Bang Theory. lol
You know what??? I'm just gonna say that you type 7s are so fun, entertaining, and smart at the same time!!! OMG love your content I'd already subscribed a week ago. (yes I am a type two I always say flirty stuff to seduce people here and there, haha, cause I value being loved so bad, sorry for the flirtatiousness LOL) 30:17 - also, relatable! I'm actually SX2 by the way ; or I'm a hybrid between type 2 and type 4(like you mentioned sexual two can look like sexual four, I also watch your type 4 vid and found myself relating to sexual four a lot, but I'm definitely Sexual subtype, I'm either sexual two or sexual four always going between these two types I get cause these two types are connected to each other on the enneagram I'm kinda a bit of both but learning through type 2 as of now). "I want to be perceived a certain way, so I become a certain way!" - my mantra as a SX2
Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s great to hear that you're connecting with the content and finding your own type’s traits relatable. Keep exploring your enneagram journey!
I realized a long time ago that pride was my major sin. Because I overfunction and enable people to keep depending on me subconsciously. Consciously I'm hoping I can take them through a process so they can learn and move on. But really the need to be needed is based in pride. So, don't push a 2 to the edge because we know EVERY single weakness you have since we instinctively know how to help. You will get ripped to shreds if u come at us disrespectfully or keep taking us for granted. There is a price to pay for our help.
I'm a 2, and none of these really sound like me :( From learning about the 3 different aspects one can be, I think that I'm the sexual type (I'm great one-on-one) but I don't expect people to like me because I'm attractive. I have very little 3. I do like to be the center of "your" world, as you put it. Family and friends are very important to me, and I love being the first person someone will call when they have a problem, but that's about it. Because I'm introverted, and a T (from Myers Briggs, where most 2s are Fs) on a daily basis, I don't see how my 2 is a motivation (I've been told that I appear more like a 5, which is kinda supposed to be the opposite of a 2 if you think of it). So I'm a very non typical 2 in a lot of ways. My best friend for years thought I was a 2, then a 5, then she finally landed on an 8 for a few years until I took the test and found out that I'm a 2 (not by a landslide or anything. Besides 3 and 6, I'm almost evenly split between the rest).
I have a question: don't you think there is a certain similarity between a 5w4 sx and a 2w1 sx? For a long time, I thought I was a 5w4 sx. I thought I was too sober to be considered one of the sentimental types, because I've always been able to see the bigger picture in a more impersonal and objective way. Always quite introspective, always a good mediator in discussions. I only realized in the middle of this year that I was just adapting. I looked back at my childhood and remembered that I wasn't the image I had of myself when I started on the enneagram. I was a bubbly and helpful child, who wanted to be loved and liked to prove that I knew how to do cool things to get other people's attention, who thought that if other people considered me someone they would like to be with because I was attractive in some way (like, look how well she draws! or, look how well she can dance! or even, and more latently, look how good a friend she is!), it would mean that I was being loved. I liked making people have fun and have a good time with me, because it meant they would come back. In my mid to late teens, I ended up having a lot of internal and external conflicts, and one of them was due to the mourning of the loss of a very close friend (she didn't die, she just left me). So I started to feel type two sadness: I'm not good enough, I don't deserve to be loved because I'm not good enough company. I'm dispensable and everyone will leave if I don't do enough. They'll leave me at any moment. And this, along with other things, made me develop a very 5ish behavior to try to deal with the situation. I started to find much more comfort in being alone and the comfort was so much that in situations where I returned to society, I simply didn't know how to act. Socially awkward. It wasn't intentional, I really didn't know what to say, what others wanted to hear, what to do with the silence. And that's when I started to observe people more and more to try to predict what they would do and prepare myself in advance. I realized that finding out things about people was very easy for me (something I had associated with the 5 sexual, but now I know it isn't) and this helped me not to feel so uncomfortable when I was with others. Even so, I knew I wasn't good enough, and while a part of me knew I was still socially awkward and that people thought the same, the other part screamed that I didn't even want to be there with those people, playing house. The truth is that I, who as a child was always more extroverted and friendly, could no longer connect with others at all. This made me have that exact behavior of a 5w4sx/sp of "I'm alone because I don't need this futility of common relationships. I'm more evolved than them. I'm special". There were many other reasons that made me believe in the 5 and the whole 5sx thing of seducing others into falling into their trap was crucial to my identification. Don't you think this sounds a little like the 2w1sx, in some way? I can see the similarities. Out of curiosity: I still see things in myself that I could mistake for a 5. Nowadays, I'm not like I was as a child, but I'm also not like I was in the first years of mourning. I'm the biggest homebody I know and I feel like I never have enough time alone. There's so much to do, to see, to research (at home, obviously). However, I'm a bit of an airhead, just curious. I don't usually remember much about the things I research, but it's fun enough to research. Time neurosis (which I've seen used to describe a not-so-healthy five) is something I experience quite often. Because I don't feel like I have enough time alone, I'm stingy with my time. I always complain in my mind when someone demands my time for anything, but I help out when I see that others need help, because "it's the right thing to do, and I love them." A part of me, as I write this, secretly hopes that the things I do can be seen as loving enough, since I don't like spending too much time with others, even if I love them. I don't change who I am anymore, though, nor do I think or worry too much about how I might be perceived by others. I feel like I'm much more myself now than I've ever been in my entire life (I'm still young, though). As for my social self, I think I've learned that not everything has to be so extreme, so deep. I can enjoy just hanging out with friends and chatting while we eat a little more. It doesn't feel like I'm being fake to myself or to them. I can say no, even though I still do a lot of things that I don't particularly want to do because there's no one else who's going to do them and they need to be done (like helping certain people in need). I don't have a compulsion to please, though. Not anymore. I still have a lot of room for improvement, like a two. but isn't that why I'm watching your video?
Same for me! I feel like I can switch between the types? When I take the test that gives you your variant I have hit for sexual mainly and SP 1x. I feel like I can swing between which one I need to for the situation. Which now sounds totally unhealthy??
So funny if you read the comments: so many 2s are not sure if they are 2s! If you read the comments of 9 video... most of them are sure they are 9s! I'm a 9 and I always been sure I was a 9, but my mother is a sp 2w3 and it toke me 13 years to discover she is a 2 and not a 1!
I love your personality, and of course your videos. I am a MENTAL HEALTH WORKER, and I never even heard of this. I'm hooked. I am a power 2... 2,8,,6,7,1,3,9,5,4. What tests do you recommend me do other than TRUELY? I started off reachering Personality types and mental illness, and I wound up learning about the ennogram. I am hooked. BTW I AM AN ENFJ-A 99%EXTRAVERTED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. I WAS A SPECIAL NEEDS NANYY, PLUS I RAISED TWO SONS, SO I ALWAYS KNEW THAT EVERYBODY HAS PERSONAL MOTIVES FOR THE CHOICES THEY MAKE, BUT KNOW I UNDERSTAND WHY. THANK YOU. BTW I AM 93%OPENESS,, 99%C, , 69% EXTRAVERTED,,53%AGREEABLE, WITH 71%N...I have had bipolar since 33. I am 55 years old
I'm starting to think I might actually be type 2 sx not 7. I always score high in both 7 and 2. But going by your in depth videos Im starting to lean more on 2 now hmmm
@Erebor Edits Listen to WILD CRAZY MEANINGFUL ENNEAGRAM where Beatrice Chestnut discusses the subtypes of 2, 3 and 4. She says that Fours are supposed to be the most pathological type. She says this is not true . The Social Twos are potentially the most dangerous. Manipulative. Pulling everybody's strings. Intrusive. Meddleing in other peoples affairs when they are not invited. They are Bunny Boilers (ref Fatal Attraction)
Exactly what I came here to say. The content on this video is helpful, however, it definitely seems like men aren't 2s by his examples and almost all the comments.
Sadly, this is my issue with the Enneagram. I am an SP2 - and the language used to describe me ALWAYS makes me feel less than. Even someone with your knowledge/intellect can't give me a positive role model for this type - so how could anybody else (or even why). Imagine how this would play out in a team-building exercise in the office. I would be a totally different person walking out of that room after having my results aired, and the perception of me by my peers (esp the 7s and 3s), would be tarnished (I guarantee it). I've read a lot on this subject and done numerous personality tests over the years, and whilst none of them are as emotionally rich as the Enneagram (IMO), they are also not as cutting, which is the fatal floor of the Enneagram texts. I don't wish to be lied to or have things fluffed up just for my ego, but at the same time, my life is the only one I know, so I don't wish for anyone to make me feel less than. Please note, this is certainly not a criticism of you, I can see you care deeply - the training books however, do not guide teachers on how best to take my "delicate sensibilities" and modern-day existence into account - and they should. That being said, I am an INFJ-A on the MBIT scale, so could be overreacting 🙂. I sincerely wish you the very best and hope this has sparked a little curiosity rather than sadness - truly.
I'm sorry to read this... my mother is a sp 2w3 and I'm a sexial 9w1 for this reason I never critisized her for anything. With my husband I can talk about litteraly everything and I actually really want the same with her. I just found out her enneatype and feel really happy to share it with her hoping she will finally read the things I never dared to critisize her for. I finally understand why she always has to explain herself when she asks me to do something for her in a way like as if she is suffering and she wants to let me know that she really deserves what she is asking for. I also understand now why she gets overwhelmed so often when I ask her something. Probably scared to end up in a role of constant giving and she can not keep up. Therefore I often get the message that I'm asking to much. I think you need to realise that the enneagram focuses on everyones negative points not just yours and that every type can be healthy or unhealthy. My mother is my number one and after finally knowing her type I really had to take some time and thank her for all she does for me and my kids. I think that's what the enneagram is for... to help us understand eachother and work on our own difficulties. More than just judging eachother for something you have read somewhere. I would not know where I will be if I haven't known the enneagram it has helped me in so many ways 😊
Hey! My sister says she's a sp 2 and I respect that she thinks identifies as a sp2 but its so hard to believe because in front of me she's like a 9! Maybe it's because I'm always quarrelling with my mother and I go to her to help resolve the conflict because between my mother and I, its always so heated! However, my sister always call me to ignore (which I see as escape & avoidance, which I very much dislike because I feel that it can solve nothing) Additionally, she is pretty responsible for her own life and studies and in my mother's eyes, more independent than me (I'm the older sister lol) so I really can't get that she's an sp 2 because it feels like nothing she does display her 'sp 2 mentality'. I'm beginning to wonder is it because she's not very uncomfortable at home around us and not behaving her true self (maybe because I always bully her :p or the fact that I'm too aggressive and have a strong personality) She did mention that she prefer hanging out with her friends. It would be really helpful if you can provide some insight on this! Love your video! Thanks!
9s don't really wanna resolve conflict. They avoid it... my mother is a sp 2w3 and in my opinion not really childlike... that got me confused at first but she litteraly ticks al the other boxes. I'm a 9 and i think the biggest difference between us is that our emotions. She is very emotional and I tend to hide my emotions in stress she gets angry easily and withdrawal... maybe reading some articles about it can give you more information...
![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
2:13 SP2 The Adorable 2
18:36 SO2 The ambitious 2
29:49 SX2 The Seductive 2
What is the enneagram wing for a self preservation 2 "Adorable 2? Thank you Dr. Tom for making the best video on the Two Ever. I thought I was a type 4, 6 or even 7 but your example of the Enneagram 2 Adorable subtype describes me to a T. I also thought I was an INFP because I thought I was more introverted but now I know the Adorable 2 is just the more introverted version of 2/ENFP. My OCD has been killing me for the 3 years I have studied MBTI and Enneagram not being sure which one I was but now I do thanks to you! My husband is an INTP 7 Wing 6 and we have the most fun relationship ever
Thank you
@@killianwinterfell9802 3 wing is more common in this subtype, but the subtype doesn't automatically determine your wing. You could still be either one.
@killianwinterfell9802 Hi there! I'm a 2w1 self preservation subtype. It also describes me. I also have OCD, which comes from my one wing. Self preservation ones are prone to OCD and perfectionism. Sometimes I score INFP, and other times I score ENFP. I would say you sound more like a 2w1 because of the OCD 💜
As a guy, it was a very interesting experience to figure out that I am "the girlfriend" 2
Heyy is it okay if you can describe your experiences with the sexual 2 variant?
I can’t really imagine how “sx 2 ‘femme fatale’” plays out in a guy... What happens to you if you are attracted to someone?
@@Regina061 Yeah no problem! Like how another comment bellow described how the sexual 2 kinda morphs into trying to be the perfect lomg term partner, that is a part of my relationships that i notice i fall into. I always try to be the "best person i can be" which was when i was younger changing into the person i think they want.
The seductive nature comes with I am selective in who i pursue romantically. I carry myself with confidence, try to be witty and am passionate about things that interest me. My friends say i flirt with everyone but i dont really go after someone unless I can find a deep connection with them (typically career based cause I'm studying to be a pastor).
In my mind personality and establishing that connection largely determines attractiveness (this mirrors how girls determine attraction but is unusual for guys to do this). Someone could be a 10 out of 10 in looks, but unless I can connect with them I don't pursue them.
@@Andrewligan Yeah same for me kinda and I'm a guy
I think I'm a two, yesterday I found myself liking comments that didn't have likes so no one would feel bad
Asher Lenze, Ha Ha......I’m a fellow 2 and also do this.
Yo, same
I know I'm a 2. It's so hard not being able to help. I'm just praying..
Omg TOTALLY
Same lol
The seduction and charm of a sexual two isn't outward to just anyone. Sexual twos are well aware that they COULD charm and manipulate whoever to get what they want (pride) but they don't chose to do that to just anyone because of their underlying fear of failure (shame.)
Rather, sexual twos will unconsciously study the person that they desire over a period of time and then shape shift into everything that person wants and needs in every circumstance.. So that way they cant (and won't) fail to win that person's affection.
Most sexual twos are only focussed on deep relationships. They are great at surface level interactions because they can shape shift to mesh and get along with anyone, but it always ends up feeling shallow, pointless and exhausting to them. If a sexual two is too caught up in surface level interactions they will become depressed, feeling like something is missing. Sexual twos live for deep intimacy and soul connections. Most of their friendships last a lifetime, and if they don't it's beause of the other party, and the sexual two feels abandoned brcause of it.. Like someome took a piece of themselves with them as they left.
If a sexual two is in a committed relationship or married, their entire world revolves around that specific person and they are trying to win that person's approval and undivided attention to continually fill the void of shame, their worth lies in how well they fit the mold of their partners every want and need. 2 halves = whole (Love)
Personally, It wasn't until Jesus filled the void of shame that I ever felt completely whole.
Sexual twos feel like they need someone or something else to feel whole, because they themselves arent ever enough (shame.) They long for their "happily every after" and romanticize about it as if it is Eden.. Like love is the answer for everything.
This is great stuff. Thanks for sharing.
Oh girl yes!
I feel exposed 😣
Pretty sure I'm a sx/so 469 but oof from second paragraph onward that hit me deep.
It is a really codependent love.
Of all the enneagram videos I’ve watched, no one has ever explained the privileged 2. You are a great teacher. Thank you!
“There’s two types of people... the ones that love me and the ones that don’t know me well enough yet” LOL facts 😂
thanks Dr. L, you rock and I am so grateful for your content and presence!
I cried when you said thank you and sorry we took you for granted. I do really feel I am able to see myself clearer and understand myself a bit more after watching your 2 videos. I find myself showing traits of 8 which I don't want to but moving to 4 is scary, it's hard to be content with just yourself, not feeling needed or loved by people around you.
Can someone please help me figure out if I am a enneagram 2. When listening to all of the 2s core desires and fears and everything I relate a lot to the feeling of wanting to be needed and doing things and hoping in return people will appreciate or do something for me back. When it comes to that I think I am a two but I also feel like I don’t overextended myself to help people. Of course if someone ask for help I’ll do it but I feel like I am not a regally really helpful person. It might be becuase I am only in high school but idk. I also feel like I get into conflicts sometimes. I read somewhere that 2s never say no but I feel like with my family I almost always don’t want to do what they ask like empty the dishwasher or clean my room. I read a few books on all the different types and I don’t really feel like I match any of the other core desires and fears but idk. Anything would help. Also maybe I am a 2w3 becuase it seems more like me. I also could be a certain subtype so tell me what subtype you think I am
@@emmahintz830 I completely relate with what you said about feeling lazy regarding chores. I think most 2s are ambitious with the arts, but not practical things as much.
Come on over to the 4 arrow; we have cookies 🍪But we eat them alone in our rooms while plumbing the depths of the human condition. 😂
Right especially when everyone around you take you for granted. They only want you to play "the nice servant" , but don't respect you on a deeper level or what you try to do. The 8 in me is always like alright watch what happens I'll play your roll then when the sh** hits the fan you gonna look to me for help and I'm gonna say I told you so. Lol that's the evil side to being a 2. Don't take me for granted cause when I walk away you're gonna feel it!
I was thinking about how you talked about the preservation 2 offering help but secretly hoping someone else would do it.
I remember at my church, members used to bring snacks every Sunday for after service. Then the church moved and we quit doing that for about 2 years.
Well when I was about 20 I decided everyone was leaving too quickly and not fellowshipping, so I started bringing snack again. My Mom asked a few other ladies and pretty soon we had a rotation in place again.
Well some of the ladies started bringing really fancy homemade stuff, which stressed out my mother since she didn't have time to make fancy food. So I purposely would bring store bought items and I told people it was "to keep the bar from getting too high." but also I didn't want to bring snack anymore and I was hoping the other ladies would take over.
Sure enough, about 2 months down the line, I was 100% out of rotation. I was quite pleased. I improved my church's fellowship time, so I felt I had done my duty, and I was no longer in charge of or participating in the food service. I could just chat and have a nice time. And people still thanked me for restarting the fellowship time. Win win win. :D
I love this so much... thanks for sharing.
This cracked me up! I can relate! 😂
This made me laugh 😂😂
So good🤭
Paris Hilton: "If someone ever asks you to do something for them, do it really bad so you never have to do it again"
The sexual 2 is more subtle. It’s a blushing cheek and a nibble of the lip. Def they won’t run their hand through your hair because it might cross a line. Think batting eyelashes.
I want a shirt that says "I'm a 9. But all the types are really great" :D
Thats so 9ish! 😊
Now I understand why I sometimes come out as a 7 on the tests. Thank you for such a thorough explanation.
I have several sides or parts of self because of severe and repeated trauma. One of my main parts is a 2w1 self preservation subtype. The reason I don't want to be in places of authority is because I was parentified and spousified by both parents. As a young child, I was responsible for their wellbeing and it was too much to handle. Having someone's life in your hands is an overwhelming amount of pressure, and enough pressure to traumatize a child. I avoid being in places of authority so that I don't have to be reminded of that pain.
The videos on the Type 2 personalities seem like they have much kinder comments and statements of appreciation then the other types
Right!! Is it because his wife is one😅
Finally, here it is. Felt like months :) Thank you so much for your effort, Tom. You´re great, keep it going!
More to come!
11:53- 100% true. And when you’ve got two 2s, you’ve got a Wild West Showdown. My mother-in-law and I are both 2s and trying to decide who sits last is the funniest for our family. 😆
Thank you this is such a great video and series !!! I was just thinking it might be useful to make your videos less gendered. I know a lot of 2s that are men (my ex boyfriend being a sexual 2) and I think describing the 2 as the "girlfriend" for example and generally portraying the 2 as a women, as it is a traditionally feminine type, can unwillingly exclude men and prevent them from recognising themselves within the type... which is a shame !! :)
You are so right. Thanks for that insight. I will watch for that in the future.
@@twlahue sir could you please make a video about the sexual 2 to explain more of it?
Cher from Clueless seems like the perfect example of an SP2 to me.
I just started exploring enneagrams, and I came out tied as a 2, 8 and 7. It made no sense to me, and my husband insisted I'm a 2. Being a 2w3 ( and my test came out 1.social, 2.sexual, 3.)self preservation. Your description totally sounds like me, and explains why I answered some questions as an 8- I am confident and passionate in my work (as a teacher leader, go figure!). Now I can start my spiritual work on this! Thank you so much for your clear description!
My older sister is definitely a self preservation 2. She absolutely does look childlike and has the biggest eyes ever!
“Don’t have a panic attack” 🤣🤣 Self preservation 2 here! Spot on 😳🤣 Thank you for all your time and effort in creating this great video! The Beverly Hillbillies 🤣 I can see it!
You are so welcome!
Do you think that I could also be a self preservation based off of this. Can someone please help me figure out if I am a enneagram 2. When listening to all of the 2s core desires and fears and everything I relate a lot to the feeling of wanting to be needed and doing things and hoping in return people will appreciate or do something for me back. When it comes to that I think I am a two but I also feel like I don’t overextended myself to help people. Of course if someone ask for help I’ll do it but I feel like I am not a regally really helpful person. It might be becuase I am only in high school but idk. I also feel like I get into conflicts sometimes. I read somewhere that 2s never say no but I feel like with my family I almost always don’t want to do what they ask like empty the dishwasher or clean my room. I read a few books on all the different types and I don’t really feel like I match any of the other core desires and fears but idk. Anything would help. Also maybe I am a 2w3 becuase it seems more like me. I also could be a certain subtype so tell me what subtype you think I am
You definitely sound like a self pres 2. I’m an admin on a 2 group on Facebook called The Enneagram Type 2: The Helper
@@emmahintz830 I think you sound like a SP 2w3, otherwise maybe a 9w8?
I literally have a friend just like this two that bursts into tears every time she gets pulled over to avoid a ticket!!
You have cleared up so much! I am a social 2 but I (for some reason) mistyped myself as a 9 cause they can blend with the other types...but I only ever really thought I shared characteristics of an 8,7 3,2,&1 hahaha whaaaaa! Makes sense! 🤷🏻♀️👏🏼
Listening-so much value here! I did just hear your statement about 2s-that everybody loves me and those who don’t just don’t know me-and don’t relate to that at all. I don’t have that sort of positive (deluded!) assumption about my inherent worth or value to others. I do relate to Wanting everybody to like me, and being Loved by everyone would be like delicious birthday cake everywhere I went, but shame and pride are in there too. I have spent quite a long time developing my Facade of attractiveness and generosity and “goodness,” but have gotten more and more aware that my giving isn’t genuine or deep (enough) if I can be so easily triggered into resentment or judgment when it’s not returned in the way that feels best to me.
What you just said rings true for me as well! I feel like when people don’t like me then it’s on me and I have done something wrong. Maybe not worked hard enough or they see a flaw and I haven’t been able to “win” them over quite yet bc something is wrong with me. A lot of Shame and guilt. But I did say “yet” so maybe I do think I can still make them like me at some point! Bc at some point they have to see my good deeds and figure out that I am good? Hmmm...interesting.
@@SoaringAboveItAll thanks, Rachel-you nailed it! That feeling of “you just don’t really know me yet” doesn’t stem from ego on my part, thinking I’m just so incredible that of course everyone likes me, but more of “here I am trying so hard to do everything right and if they just knew that, they would agree that I’m lovable.” I hear a lot of type 1 in that statement too...?
Thx for the insight. The funny thing is my brother is a sp 2, my dad is a so 2, and I'm a sx 2 so I've seen all the 2 personalities in person. So that kinda described the difference between us even though we're all 2s. Thx for that. That's the exact video I needed.
SP 2 is possibly Rapunzel. She seems like a 7 because her whole story arc is breaking out of that tower and her many hobbies, but her primary fear is displeasing and hurting others, and along the way all she does is love people, act innocent and cute, and get everyone including the police horse to do everything for her. She isn't afraid of the tower and imprisonment, she's afraid of breaking her mother's heart and afraid of what will she do once her dream of seeing the lanterns come true. Possibility doesn't delight her, it scares her because now she has to find a purpose, which ironically enough she immediately finds in being in love with Flynn. And her growth and actual arc isn't in finding freedom, but in becoming an adult who stands up to her mother and takes responsibility for her venturing out into the world and surviving (instead of laying it on Flynn and her "Mother").
Yes I can see what you mean... and her emotions are all over the place too! Never thought about it but you're right!
You nailed it! My mom is 2w1 SO and my dad is 2w3 SP.
I have been binge watching your videos for the past few days! Thank you for such great information! It is honestly life changing!
Thank you for making all these videos. They are really helpful in enhancing my self-awareness. I have several questions on this topic. Would it be possible to have multiple subtypes or to have subtype jump between different subtypes? What would be the trigger to shift between different subtypes? For a healthy person, should we balance all the subtypes? What if we know what type we are and maybe what behaviours of the subtypes we inherit, then how can we use that knowledge to improve ourselves? I feel like I am a very blended 2 with many of the behaviours of all subtypes (depending on different stages of life/situations and who I'm with).
Same for me
Self pres 2 is described terribly. Not his fault. Instead of “childlike” i think of it as “I’m making myself small and unassuming so you don’t find me threatening” kind of like a 6. But doing it in a flattering way. Smiling. Flirtatious. Innocent.
No. I'm sp 2 and the description is so spot on it's scary.
Not being threatening is so out of left field IMO. Why would a 2 focus on that? I never had issues with people finding me threatening. Actually my issue is no one finding me threatening ever. Which I don't see as an issue because my cuteness plays into it most of the time, so it does not get in my way.
SP 2 is possibly Rapunzel. She seems like a 7 because her whole story arc is breaking out of that tower and her many hobbies, but her primary fear is displeasing and hurting others, and along the way all she does is love people, act innocent and cute, and get everyone including the police horse to do everything for her. She isn't afraid of the tower and imprisonment, she's afraid of breaking her mother's heart and afraid of what will she do once her dream of seeing the lanterns come true. Possibility doesn't delight her, it scares her because now she has to find a purpose, which ironically enough she immediately finds in being in love with Flynn. And her growth and actual arc isn't in finding freedom, but in becoming an adult who stands up to her mother and takes responsibility for her venturing out into the world and surviving (instead of laying it on Flynn and her "Mother").
This was really interesting. Definitely identify with social/power 2
I’m in a constant social vs self pres 2 panic. Which is so funny seeing as they’re so different
The self-preservation seemed to describe me the most. It didn’t feel very flattering. I feel like I have a lot of “work” to do get to a healthier place. But maybe hearing this can help me understand myself better and be a bit more aware of what I’m doing.
Glad to hear it.
Great video! I rewatched. I'm a social 2 with a one wing. Thank you for sharing!
I am the self preservation 2. Ha ha. So true. I will make efforts to be more mature. And yes, I don't like washing dishes.
I scored high on 2 & 6 so this makes more sense now. At first I was confused as to how I scored that way, but I’m starting to understand now. I got 2, but if wings are taken into account it said I’m a 6w7. Then I took a secondary test and it said 2w3. They all sound just like me so I started to think that maybe I was really messed up to have to many different personalities, but now after watching this it’s all starting to make sense.
I love everything you said and that is me! Darn, i love myself i shuld be proud of. .🤣
2w1 - definitely social. Thank you for this!
This was really fascinating for me. When I was younger, I was a very strong self-preservation two. I have moved more towards the adults two now. I don’t see myself as a sexual two at all. But number one and number two I saw lots of me in both of those.
Oh, and I have talked myself out of plenty of tickets. I have only been given a ticket, one time in my life, despite having deserved many more than that. Totally saw myself in that example.
Social 5w4 here, to learn about the subtypes of type 2 so I can relay the info to my type 2 sisters 😂
I'm definitely an ambitious social 2 I felt everything around this lol
So great..thank you..I'm a 2..love the work and love your videos!!
3s are next! Really looking forward to it.
Coming soon.
I think one of the best films to illustrate en.2, especially how the 2 are prideful and how 2 under stress goes to 8 is "Dogville" (2003), by Lars von Trier. I think Nicole Kidman's character Grace is the adorable 2. Actually Trier's filmography is all about 2s - "Dancer in the dark" is about how 2 goes to 4 and so on (If I am correct Bjork's character is also an adorable 2)
.
That's an interesting take on the film! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Feel like I can write an essay on this... instead I would dare say it: I feel like 15% selfp. 25% Social and 60% sexual 2... hope that’s make sense... but it’s true.. saw myself in all the scenarios! The most in 3 one!💯💓🙏🌸Thank you 🙏🙏
You are all 3 but tend to resonate more with one of them.
I identified with aspects of all 3 also, but I’m still not sure which one I identify with the most. Is it better to take a test to find out my subtype or just research them and decide for myself?
Wondering what references/resources you used to come to these conclusions and interpretations? In some of your other videos you hold up and refer to the books that you used to help you. I find this extremely helpful. Thanks 👍🏻
Just found this video! I have to say that I see the similarities between the 2 and the 7 too!
I thought I was a 7 for a long while, but then I recently found out that wasn't the case at all! So I can totally understand how some traits and behaviors really overlap between the two. It was enough to get me confused, but I'm glad I figured it out.
Oh! Also this video was very helpful and full of great information! I can't wait to check out more videos!
I'm a 9w1 (don't know my subtype, yet. Watching that one next!), but I get so confused when learning about 2s because I relate to them so much. I saw parts of me in the SP2 description. But I also relate to 4s a lot!
Super interesting, thanks! (I think my boyfriend is a social 2, too 😂❤)
Looking forward to the 4th video :)
Coming soon!
Right on for the middle 2 which I am Very informative thank you
I feel like I may be a sexual two in my instincts, but I’m really bad at it haha! I subconsciously attempt to get people to like me by doing what I think they want and being charming, but I somehow always get it wrong, and it’s hard for me to form relationships. I’m still trying to decide what I am though, so maybe I’m not even a two!
Ann Perkins!
Very impressive, thank you!
Glad you liked it!
I think both my daughter-in-law and mother-in-law are type 2! Thanks for the video!
Happy to help.
impatiently waiting for you to do the subtypes of type 7 :D It feels like its taking forever!
Everything feels like it's taking forever when you're a type 7
@@TheWorldsStage haha
Love the shirt!
Thanks, my wife got it for me.
I think I have had aspects of all these twos, but as a matured turned more to a social two. I was probably a seductive two in my late teens and 20’s. I was probably a self preservation two as a child into my early teens.
So glad for this video! I'm always disappointed at how 2's are stereotyped the same way.. bending over backwards to wash every dish and make everyone cookies. I'm thinking I might be the self preservation 2, or at least it's my secondary subtype.
Good job, but definitely felt a bit shafted as a male 2. 😪( That's kinda my 8 stress point talking 😬). I enjoy your videos tho and really appreciate your content! It's just.. I know your wife is a 2.. and it's actually super cute how much you love her, but this video is not just for her and other female 2s, right?🤔
Finally understanding the closest people in my life with these subtype videos!!! For the longest I couldn't figure out if my friend was a 7 or 4w3 and now I see why..! She is a self-pres 2
You're so welcome! I used to be around a 2w3 self-pres... person and, at first I thought she was a 7. Yes, this particular person was often told she was annoying as well.
@@twlahue hmm....I am a 2w3 and I have hit for the self preservation once but mainly the test says sexual. No one has told me I am annoying but I am guessing that is a hard one to say to someone. I do see myself possibly fluctuating between all the subtypes here. It’s weird.
@@SoaringAboveItAll they don't dare to tell you that out of fear you gonna break into tears! Just being mean sp 2w3's are a lot of fun too thats why they look like 7s sometimes! 😊
sp 2 really reminds me of bubbly girls and boys who act cute and want everything. Honestly love them but I want to be spoiled as well so I don't think I would get along with sp 2s
A really good video. Thanks for this explanation 👍
The shirt!!
Over the course of my life, I have been every one of these twos.😂 And growth has been moving towards the adult two.
And I agree, I see a lot of overlap with the seven. I exhibit a lot of seven behaviors. And in fact, I have tended to be in relationships with sixes or sevens. I think the balance between the two can be good and those types might admire the qualities of or aspire to be more like one another? A two can definitely learn to be more self referencing and self-serving like a seven. Whereas the seven might be able to learn to be more of a servant like the two. In this way, each type can move away from their pitfalls and towards health. Whether this actually happens in real life, I’m not sure! 😂
I always get the Sexual 2 on test, but I have a lot of the self-preservation 2 in me, it can really be 50/50. I really enjoy your videos
Appreciate this very useful!
Glad it was helpful!
Self Preservation 2's: Perhaps "Legally Blonde" character played by Reese Witherspoon? And Mother of homeschooling family in bus in Robin Williams movie "RV"...?
I think the 2s acting like 7s, that you're seeing, is that they are both positive numbers. They both avoid their negative feelings (as does 9)
Also...
Sp 2: Charles Boyle, snow white
Sx 2: Majorie Tyrell, The assistant in VEEP
So 2 is the one I personally dont know well.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I love all the research you've done. Its extremely helpful ❤
Very good. Maybe I’m a social 2 but mistyped myself as a 4 wing 5. Social 2 sounds exactly like me. Where else would a very relational, well networked mom and human rights lawyer fit into the enneagram.
Thank you very much, will be studying this.
Man, the only problem with your video is that I don't know any of those TV shows! I hoped to hear from FRIENDS, How I met your mother and The Big Bang Theory. lol
Thanks for putting this together, doc! Super interesting, Great effort! =)
Glad you enjoyed it!
It’s describing me very well. Umm . . . thanks
You’re welcome 😊
oh so THIS is why all the 2 descriptions don't fit perfectly. fully a self-protection 2, apparently. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You know what??? I'm just gonna say that you type 7s are so fun, entertaining, and smart at the same time!!! OMG love your content I'd already subscribed a week ago. (yes I am a type two I always say flirty stuff to seduce people here and there, haha, cause I value being loved so bad, sorry for the flirtatiousness LOL)
30:17 - also, relatable! I'm actually SX2 by the way ; or I'm a hybrid between type 2 and type 4(like you mentioned sexual two can look like sexual four, I also watch your type 4 vid and found myself relating to sexual four a lot, but I'm definitely Sexual subtype, I'm either sexual two or sexual four always going between these two types I get cause these two types are connected to each other on the enneagram I'm kinda a bit of both but learning through type 2 as of now).
"I want to be perceived a certain way, so I become a certain way!"
- my mantra as a SX2
Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s great to hear that you're connecting with the content and finding your own type’s traits relatable. Keep exploring your enneagram journey!
Thanks for this lecture Doctor, it was super interesting and useful !
May I ask what is your wife's MBTI type ? :)
My wife is a 2w1(The Servant) Social 2 (The Matriarch) ISFJ
I realized a long time ago that pride was my major sin. Because I overfunction and enable people to keep depending on me subconsciously. Consciously I'm hoping I can take them through a process so they can learn and move on. But really the need to be needed is based in pride. So, don't push a 2 to the edge because we know EVERY single weakness you have since we instinctively know how to help. You will get ripped to shreds if u come at us disrespectfully or keep taking us for granted. There is a price to pay for our help.
Haha! Thats the 8 talking!
Elizabeth Taylor was a one on one 2 in life and in her roles.
Good point.
Damn. This is spot on for my sister. She's between sp and sx. I think shes more sx though. I see her as that one way more.
I'm trifix 278 forgot to mention that ; hope that make sense!
I'm a 2, and none of these really sound like me :(
From learning about the 3 different aspects one can be, I think that I'm the sexual type (I'm great one-on-one) but I don't expect people to like me because I'm attractive. I have very little 3. I do like to be the center of "your" world, as you put it. Family and friends are very important to me, and I love being the first person someone will call when they have a problem, but that's about it. Because I'm introverted, and a T (from Myers Briggs, where most 2s are Fs) on a daily basis, I don't see how my 2 is a motivation (I've been told that I appear more like a 5, which is kinda supposed to be the opposite of a 2 if you think of it). So I'm a very non typical 2 in a lot of ways. My best friend for years thought I was a 2, then a 5, then she finally landed on an 8 for a few years until I took the test and found out that I'm a 2 (not by a landslide or anything. Besides 3 and 6, I'm almost evenly split between the rest).
Are you not a 4?
I have a question: don't you think there is a certain similarity between a 5w4 sx and a 2w1 sx?
For a long time, I thought I was a 5w4 sx. I thought I was too sober to be considered one of the sentimental types, because I've always been able to see the bigger picture in a more impersonal and objective way. Always quite introspective, always a good mediator in discussions.
I only realized in the middle of this year that I was just adapting. I looked back at my childhood and remembered that I wasn't the image I had of myself when I started on the enneagram. I was a bubbly and helpful child, who wanted to be loved and liked to prove that I knew how to do cool things to get other people's attention, who thought that if other people considered me someone they would like to be with because I was attractive in some way (like, look how well she draws! or, look how well she can dance! or even, and more latently, look how good a friend she is!), it would mean that I was being loved. I liked making people have fun and have a good time with me, because it meant they would come back.
In my mid to late teens, I ended up having a lot of internal and external conflicts, and one of them was due to the mourning of the loss of a very close friend (she didn't die, she just left me). So I started to feel type two sadness: I'm not good enough, I don't deserve to be loved because I'm not good enough company. I'm dispensable and everyone will leave if I don't do enough. They'll leave me at any moment.
And this, along with other things, made me develop a very 5ish behavior to try to deal with the situation. I started to find much more comfort in being alone and the comfort was so much that in situations where I returned to society, I simply didn't know how to act. Socially awkward. It wasn't intentional, I really didn't know what to say, what others wanted to hear, what to do with the silence. And that's when I started to observe people more and more to try to predict what they would do and prepare myself in advance. I realized that finding out things about people was very easy for me (something I had associated with the 5 sexual, but now I know it isn't) and this helped me not to feel so uncomfortable when I was with others. Even so, I knew I wasn't good enough, and while a part of me knew I was still socially awkward and that people thought the same, the other part screamed that I didn't even want to be there with those people, playing house. The truth is that I, who as a child was always more extroverted and friendly, could no longer connect with others at all. This made me have that exact behavior of a 5w4sx/sp of "I'm alone because I don't need this futility of common relationships. I'm more evolved than them. I'm special".
There were many other reasons that made me believe in the 5 and the whole 5sx thing of seducing others into falling into their trap was crucial to my identification. Don't you think this sounds a little like the 2w1sx, in some way? I can see the similarities.
Out of curiosity: I still see things in myself that I could mistake for a 5. Nowadays, I'm not like I was as a child, but I'm also not like I was in the first years of mourning. I'm the biggest homebody I know and I feel like I never have enough time alone. There's so much to do, to see, to research (at home, obviously). However, I'm a bit of an airhead, just curious. I don't usually remember much about the things I research, but it's fun enough to research. Time neurosis (which I've seen used to describe a not-so-healthy five) is something I experience quite often. Because I don't feel like I have enough time alone, I'm stingy with my time. I always complain in my mind when someone demands my time for anything, but I help out when I see that others need help, because "it's the right thing to do, and I love them." A part of me, as I write this, secretly hopes that the things I do can be seen as loving enough, since I don't like spending too much time with others, even if I love them. I don't change who I am anymore, though, nor do I think or worry too much about how I might be perceived by others. I feel like I'm much more myself now than I've ever been in my entire life (I'm still young, though). As for my social self, I think I've learned that not everything has to be so extreme, so deep. I can enjoy just hanging out with friends and chatting while we eat a little more. It doesn't feel like I'm being fake to myself or to them. I can say no, even though I still do a lot of things that I don't particularly want to do because there's no one else who's going to do them and they need to be done (like helping certain people in need). I don't have a compulsion to please, though. Not anymore.
I still have a lot of room for improvement, like a two. but isn't that why I'm watching your video?
I mistyped my guy as a 1, but he's supposedly a social 2 😍
Awww, you really flatter your wife's type!
great video, thanks
Hello, thanks for your video. Very informative. Where are you getting the three types from? I thought there were only 2 wings.
You have 2 wings and 3 subtypes
I cant figure out which two i am because i kinda fit into every category
Same for me! I feel like I can switch between the types? When I take the test that gives you your variant I have hit for sexual mainly and SP 1x. I feel like I can swing between which one I need to for the situation. Which now sounds totally unhealthy??
So funny if you read the comments: so many 2s are not sure if they are 2s! If you read the comments of 9 video... most of them are sure they are 9s! I'm a 9 and I always been sure I was a 9, but my mother is a sp 2w3 and it toke me 13 years to discover she is a 2 and not a 1!
Hey I'm wondering how can u differentiate between social 7 and self preservation 2?
I'm a so 7 i think but i see myself in sp 2 too
You’re probably so/7 . It’s the counter type for 7
I love your personality, and of course your videos. I am a MENTAL HEALTH WORKER, and I never even heard of this. I'm hooked. I am a power 2... 2,8,,6,7,1,3,9,5,4. What tests do you recommend me do other than TRUELY? I started off reachering Personality types and mental illness, and I wound up learning about the ennogram. I am hooked. BTW I AM AN ENFJ-A 99%EXTRAVERTED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.
I WAS A SPECIAL NEEDS NANYY, PLUS I RAISED TWO SONS, SO I ALWAYS KNEW THAT EVERYBODY HAS PERSONAL MOTIVES FOR THE CHOICES THEY MAKE, BUT KNOW I UNDERSTAND WHY.
THANK YOU. BTW I AM 93%OPENESS,, 99%C, , 69% EXTRAVERTED,,53%AGREEABLE, WITH 71%N...I have had bipolar since 33. I am 55 years old
Hey, I only became extroverted in high school too, high 5!
Sarah scribles cartoon is a sp2
Why do people negate that men can be 2s and speak from that perspective?
I'm starting to think I might actually be type 2 sx not 7. I always score high in both 7 and 2. But going by your in depth videos Im starting to lean more on 2 now hmmm
Voodoo from wildcats is a sexual 2
Social Two: Danger.
@Erebor Edits Listen to WILD CRAZY MEANINGFUL ENNEAGRAM where Beatrice Chestnut discusses the subtypes of 2, 3 and 4. She says that Fours are supposed to be the most pathological type. She says this is not true . The Social Twos are potentially the most dangerous. Manipulative. Pulling everybody's strings. Intrusive. Meddleing in other peoples affairs when they are not invited. They are Bunny Boilers (ref Fatal Attraction)
Aziz Ansari in Parks and Rec is a counter 2.
Also.. kinda.. me 😳😅
my boyfriend is sexual 2 and I’m a sexual 4😂😂😂
Wow...lots of feelings in that relationship!!!
Men are Twos as well, or did I miss something?
Exactly what I came here to say. The content on this video is helpful, however, it definitely seems like men aren't 2s by his examples and almost all the comments.
Over 70% of 2s are women.
Sadly, this is my issue with the Enneagram. I am an SP2 - and the language used to describe me ALWAYS makes me feel less than. Even someone with your knowledge/intellect can't give me a positive role model for this type - so how could anybody else (or even why). Imagine how this would play out in a team-building exercise in the office. I would be a totally different person walking out of that room after having my results aired, and the perception of me by my peers (esp the 7s and 3s), would be tarnished (I guarantee it). I've read a lot on this subject and done numerous personality tests over the years, and whilst none of them are as emotionally rich as the Enneagram (IMO), they are also not as cutting, which is the fatal floor of the Enneagram texts. I don't wish to be lied to or have things fluffed up just for my ego, but at the same time, my life is the only one I know, so I don't wish for anyone to make me feel less than. Please note, this is certainly not a criticism of you, I can see you care deeply - the training books however, do not guide teachers on how best to take my "delicate sensibilities" and modern-day existence into account - and they should. That being said, I am an INFJ-A on the MBIT scale, so could be overreacting 🙂. I sincerely wish you the very best and hope this has sparked a little curiosity rather than sadness - truly.
I'm sorry to read this... my mother is a sp 2w3 and I'm a sexial 9w1 for this reason I never critisized her for anything. With my husband I can talk about litteraly everything and I actually really want the same with her. I just found out her enneatype and feel really happy to share it with her hoping she will finally read the things I never dared to critisize her for. I finally understand why she always has to explain herself when she asks me to do something for her in a way like as if she is suffering and she wants to let me know that she really deserves what she is asking for. I also understand now why she gets overwhelmed so often when I ask her something. Probably scared to end up in a role of constant giving and she can not keep up. Therefore I often get the message that I'm asking to much.
I think you need to realise that the enneagram focuses on everyones negative points not just yours and that every type can be healthy or unhealthy. My mother is my number one and after finally knowing her type I really had to take some time and thank her for all she does for me and my kids. I think that's what the enneagram is for... to help us understand eachother and work on our own difficulties. More than just judging eachother for something you have read somewhere. I would not know where I will be if I haven't known the enneagram it has helped me in so many ways 😊
can a guy swing between the 2nd and 3rd subtypes of 2?
Hey! My sister says she's a sp 2 and I respect that she thinks identifies as a sp2 but its so hard to believe because in front of me she's like a 9! Maybe it's because I'm always quarrelling with my mother and I go to her to help resolve the conflict because between my mother and I, its always so heated! However, my sister always call me to ignore (which I see as escape & avoidance, which I very much dislike because I feel that it can solve nothing) Additionally, she is pretty responsible for her own life and studies and in my mother's eyes, more independent than me (I'm the older sister lol) so I really can't get that she's an sp 2 because it feels like nothing she does display her 'sp 2 mentality'. I'm beginning to wonder is it because she's not very uncomfortable at home around us and not behaving her true self (maybe because I always bully her :p or the fact that I'm too aggressive and have a strong personality) She did mention that she prefer hanging out with her friends. It would be really helpful if you can provide some insight on this! Love your video! Thanks!
Glad to help!
9s don't really wanna resolve conflict. They avoid it... my mother is a sp 2w3 and in my opinion not really childlike... that got me confused at first but she litteraly ticks al the other boxes. I'm a 9 and i think the biggest difference between us is that our emotions. She is very emotional and I tend to hide my emotions in stress she gets angry easily and withdrawal... maybe reading some articles about it can give you more information...
So these subtypes can each be 2w1 and 2w3 as well? So there are a total of 6 type 2s total? Am I understanding that right?
Well, yes, in a manner of speaking...