2:46 Even worse: 3-4 sessions in. In typical therapy, they've barely finished hearing ones story, just a little bit, for the sake of intake in order to even begin to get anywhere. I hope these "therapists" burn. That is not help and they're profiting off of people with their so-called expertise.
@@kathybrown376 That's BS I am a therapist I work with addiction and mental illness and i don't get paid jack. It's about helping the client. As I said before. These therapist were not familiar with trauma informed care. You have to know what questions to ask and investigate the responses carefully. There are lots of therapists who do go to therapy themselves that's because we know the value of it. Just because one is not perfect and one does not have a perfect life does not mean you cant help someone. If these people never brought up the trauma's they had there is no way the therapist would know. That's why trauma informed care is so important. I happen to specialize in CBT therapy. Thinking that therapists only care about the money is hog wash and an excuse.
True that. I believe some people are transgendered but the vast numbers of the past few years are likely dealing with other life issues. This women clearly was not transgendered. I seems like it is getting more and more crucial that how we feel and behave is normal on a large spectrum for both sexes.
I am a tomboy, and I love being female. Been a tomboy all my life, and I am 66 years old and a lesbian. I never thought that being a tomboy had anything to do with being gay. Any female can be a tomboy. That is just the way some women are. The only women anyone needs to be wary of are butch-fems. They out perform almost all men and women in most areas. They look great on your arm, AND they can fix the roof. They will break every bone in your body if you mess with them, too. They are truly a phenomenon. Lol. Just joking (sort of).
Katzekatzekatze For real! I don’t understand why if a young boy likes to wear dresses and likes “girly stuff” they feel the need to give the child hormone blockers and transition him into a transgender female? It’s sick giving a child hormones or blockers that don’t let puberty occur. Its a fad almost with progressives. If a boy likes girly stuff or the other way around... so be it that’s the way god made them. According to them gender is a societal construct anyway right?
I think what she realised is that regardless of whether she was male or female it didn't fix her internal problems, this is why extensive therapy is so important.
@@ashleyashleym2969 a lot of "trans" people find that finally transitioning doesn't fix their issues; hence post-op regret, detransitioning, high attempted suicide rates, etc.
@@Zoco. I don't know what you think "a lot" is, but a vast majority of trans people DO find that transitioning helps. The only people who detransition are the people who are like the girl in the video, who just weren't trans at all and were misdiagnosed too quickly. Suicide rates are much higher among those who are pre-transition. A survey done in the UK showed that only 2% of trans people regretting their transitioning surgeries. Compare that to the 66% of UK respondents who replied that they regretted their plastic surgeries. The AFSP Williams Suicide Report, a study on suicide attempts among transgender and GNC adults is a very informative study to look at and worth the read over. williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf
It's why affirmation therapy is a concern. And why gender dysphoric people need proper counselling to understand the root of their dysphoria before hormones.
God,,, this poor woman. She’s the victim of severe neglect on her therapist’s part. They should have had her in therapy for much longer and should have worked on her mental health and wellness BEFORE her transition.
Therepists are not a solution to the hard places people find themselves in. There is not a therepists in this whole world that can "cure" the things that make people desperate/uncomfortable. In my opinion, therapy doesn't make sense....it makes money. If someone is struggling within themselves a talk and a pill, a Coke and a smile is not going to fix it. I know from experience.
@Shane Noel yes they are it’s there job to know the human brain they can will tell you ways to get better and they are someone to talk to now if you don’t listen to them and get angry at everything the oof good luck
@@shanenoel1270 Your experience, alone, ain't shit. No one said anything about therapy being a cure. Therapy is one part of the deal, the other part is YOU. You need to do the rest yourself.
Whether Trans or Cis, I'm frustrated with her therapist for not exploring the "I want to take my body off" feeling, for not addressing her trauma/obvious dissociation before altering the baseline. I hear tons of victims say things like "I want to wash off my skin" or "my body isn't mine/clean" that's always a red flag in my mind. If after the trauma/dissociative issues have been resolved and the client is still dysphoric ... then proceed with pharmacological and eventually surgical interventions if the client desires it. Geez Louise!
I agree it seemed like her discontent had nothing to actually do with her gender identity and more with the way her trauma affected her perception of her body. It worries me that psychological issues are being overlooked, and therapists are jumping the gun.
beans beans the magical fruit This is why a thorough psychosocial assessment annotating a clients entire life experience is a standard of practice. I don't understand how her therapist missed this unless she choose not to disclose the SA in her rush to get the Rx. If it's the former she's operating outside of our ethical guidelines and should be reported to the state licensure board and professional organization. This is completely unacceptable.
Unfortunately, unethical therapists (and money-grubbing ones) do exist, same as there are doctors who'll prescribe opioids for a stubbed toe. This story is a cautionary tale about getting paying for the answer you think you want. She said that she got her hormone authorization very quickly and that should've been a big red flag, but someone who is still experiencing trauma is going to leap at the first viable solution rather than what is necessarily the best.
Patrick Lewis Outside of billing constraints, unless its blatantly obvious, I really take my time in assigning a possible Dx, let alone an Rx intervention outside of a crisis situation. It really is disheartening to know there are people out there who have no qualms c ruining someone's life like this. I never want to be THAT therapist.
I was sexually abused as a child and started dressing like a boy so everyone around started to convince me that I was a boy because I dressed as a boy, I knew I was a girl but I started to thinking maybe, I am a boy everyone is saying I am. I started going to therapy once I left school and started to heal, I started loving dresses but still don't wear heals or make up, I know i am a woman but I was scared to show my body incase a man took advantage of it. So yes, it can be a trauma thing. If this happened to me in this day and age my parents and doctors probably would of convinced me to transition, I would have never healed.
That reaction is very understandable. Any reaction will seem right in a very extrem situation like that. I include you in my prayers. I always pray to God that he should please send angels to rescue abused children. I hope he listens to me.
Yeah, being a girl and hitting puberty is like having raw meat hung off of your chest sometimes. And it doesn't matter that it's "not all men" who do it. It's almost all women who go through it.
My dad raped my half brother. He was thrown in prison and I was left with my mother and aunts. They convinced a young boy that all men are trash, so I disassociated from my masculinity and started dressing like a girl and calling myself by the feminine equivalent of my name. Luckily, the women who made me hate men, acted quickly to reassure me that not all men are evil and that being a male isn't wrong. Had it not been for that, I'm sure I'd be among the deceived who claim they were born that way.
I’m so so sorry any of that happened to you but trauma and being trans are two different things and sometimes people get confused and think their trans from trauma, but there are real trans people
It's exactly right. I have a good friend that chose a more androgynous appearance due to wanting not to appear female. She's recently gotten a mastectomy and is perfectly happy being addressed by friends as her/she. It was more about hating the feeling of being a woman in public spaces, rather than wanting to be a man. She's comfortable in her body now, and she's an amazing person. I hope everyone is able to find peace with their bodies.
awe lotta It depends on the therapist. A good one will work with you for a while. This chick probably wants a reputation for being an easy person to get letters from. She preys on young, impulsive people that don’t want to wait.
She was never a transgender case. She was a straight woman with trauma caused by men so she hated her female body and wanted an easy way out by becoming a male to run away and hide instead of dealing with it . All she needs is therapy.
The same is true for the majority of people currently embracing the trendy diagnosis of transgenderism - they are not genuine cases but running away from some deep source of self-loathing that manifests in a desire to mutilate their bodies. I think it is very similiar to anorexia and bulimia which are also dysmorphias: starvation, bingeing and purging, cutting of your breasts or penis can all be seen as extreme reactions to a sensation of powerlessness, like taking "control" but in a pathological way. There are going to be a LOT of regrets in the future....
But thats what got her there, therapy. It seems like therapists are too quick to label any trauma or mental illness as a struggle with gender or sexual identity, whether they do it intentionally or not.
She got therapy and they told her she was gender queer and gave her the means to start testosterone. You act like she's the only person who has gone through this. The whole point is to open the eyes of people that there are others like her. It's not to invalidate anyone or to attack. It is to simply say that what she went through is what a lot of other people have gone through and this idea that everyone who dislikes their body is PROBABLY TRANS is ridiculous.
I think her therapist failed her by not trying to figure out the root of the problem. It was neglect. I feel really bad for her. Keep sharing your story. It'll help someone else going through the same thing.
The mental health industry in general is failing at accurately diagnosing gender dysphoria. They’re giving out recommendation letters for hormones like candy, because they’re too afraid of being seen as transphobic.
If I've learned one thing, it's that trauma changes people in unique and often unexpected ways. Also, recovering from trauma is a very complex and confusing process.
It doesn't help either when you have people putting ideas in others heads, especially children that there's something they're not. Then before you know it they're taking medicine to regulate their hormones and they're all screwed up by the time they're 20. Thanks progressives.
@kjohnson8317 I agree with you. It's more complicated. Thing is were all different so pigeon holing us doesn't work cause reality isn't a pigeon holed reality it's reality. It's a fluid/many things.
Laleh VonTofu The Atlantic is a loony left identity politics driven organ. Finally they’ve shown the downside of the transgender psychosis gripping the western world.
I feel bad for you not bc you transitioned but because you were assaulted and traumatized and never got justice you also get bullied and harassed and it’s just cruel and wrong and I’m sorry
as a trans guy, I feel bad for her for those reasons but I also feel bad that she transitioned. Transitioning when you're not trans actually gives you gender dysphoria, because your body starts to become that of the opposite gender, which makes your brain disconnected from your body. It's like forcefully making yourself feel how a trans person does before they transition. It's absolutely horrid. This woman may have been lucky because her irreversable changes are minimal, but she probably still had to use voice training to get her voice to sound womanly again. I feel really bad for these people.
Most girls go through a stage of feeling awkward about their bodies when its developing. I did. One day all the boys and girls in class have more or less the same shaped bodies, then suddenly you're changing. But the feeling of awkwardness doesnt last. In fact before long I was buying padded bras to emphasize that difference . Im not saying anyone should do that either. Just pointing out how drastically we change our minds as we grow up.
I once saw a “trans checklist” on tumblr and one of the questions was: “getting my period was scary/traumatic: agree, not sure, disagree” etc., and I was like, what fucking girl is HAPPY about getting her period? All my friends cried about it. It’s perfectly normal to freak out when you start menstruating and even to continue to resent your period for a long while afterwards. It doesn’t mean you’re trans, ffs.
I felt like a woman specifically in my 20's or even last year and I am 22 soon. I NEVER considered or even thought about myself as a girl before without desiring being a guy. Yeah it's weird.
I had six appointments and a year of real life experience (living as male openly) before they let me go on testosterone. I agree. More appointments are necessary.
It’s fucked up. No matter how difficult it is, this is exactly why the process should be harder. It isn’t fun for those currently waiting, but could be a lifesaver for people in Carey’s position who were victims of abuse and confused the aftermath of severe trauma with gender dysphoria.
A patient of mine was diagnosed gender dysphoric on the first visit with their therapist and offered puberty blockers within a week at the transgender clinic. She/He/They are 12.
God can I relate to this. I thought i was a trans dude for 5 years. But all I needed was somebody to tell me that being a more "masculine" women was okay because all my life i was bullied for not being obnoxiously feminine.
Hey can you dm me somehow? I'm a younger trans guy and I worry about transitioning sometimes. It would be cool to share our experiences and see if they're similar
I can relate, as an effeminate man I've struggled similarly. I've had points where I struggled with my identity but I'm (mostly) comfortable in my skin.
@@TheCinderfang One of my close guy friends was very very feminine and everyone thought he was gay from the way he talked, acted etc. Anyways years later he is now in a long term relationship with a super hot, rich blonde newscaster loving life. Plenty of women like feminine males, there's nothing wrong with you. I've always been a tomboy.
MIke Mike It's common among rape victims to feel gender dysphoria. Their bodies have been violated. She confused her trauma from rape with wanting to physically change her gender. She detransitioned, she calls herself a woman.
It may be common for rape victims to feel dysphoria, but not necessarily gender dysphoria. VERY different. If it were true, a lot more women would be transitioning.
I totally agree. I am a very tomboyish woman but I am still happy with myself. I don't get my nails done, I don't do pedicures, I don't dye my hair anymore, and I hardly ever wear makeup. But when I do wear makeup it brings out my eyes and I get noticed more as an attractive feminine woman. I try to be as feminine as possible but without spending a lot of money to do it. That is the part i hate the most about being a woman, the cost of trying to stay looking attractive!
@@julien2912 Have you heard the old saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" Basically, it's saying that different people have different tastes. So some men might like Women who wear makeup & some men don't. I know plenty of men who say that women today wear too much makeup. My husband doesn't care if I wear makeup or not. I wear makeup for myself, not him. I've been wearing makeup since I was in High School & I wear makeup for me. I don't like to leave the house without makeup on & a pair of dangling earrings. But that's because it's my look & I love earrings, lol. When I was single I still bought pretty, frilly underwear even though I knew that no one would see it. I wore it b/c it make me feel good. I'm a Mom & I'll give you the same advice I gave to my daughters, you wear make up & clothes that you like. If you don't like to wear makeup then don't. You'll find someone who cares for you just the way you are. If someone you're dating wants you to wear makeup or clothes that you don't want to wear, dump them. Too many people start dating someone & then try to 're-make' them into what they think they should be. Just be true to yourself. Good Luck in dating. 💙
nobody is telling anybody else who they are. Good open minded free people will tell you who you CAN be, and respect your autonomy, and support you through whatever path you choose, but the scared, ignorant bigot aholes on the right will tell you who you can’t or shouldn’t be. That’s a huge difference. STOP TELLING TRANS PEOPLE THEY’RE WRONG
Tabby Cat right? If patients realized that inherently science cannot be bigoted it’s just facts, then doctors and scientists would have a much easier time actually solving issues rather then simply trying to smack a bandaid on it because it’s less “emotionally hurtful”. Unfortunately I believe too much focus on your own feelings and inner monologue is what gets so many people stuck in the awful place they’re in and miserable. Current society is too focused on the self and how everyone makes “me, me, me” feel, instead of how “I, I, I” make others feel and shape the world around me.
"This is not a trans thing, this is a trauma thing." I applaud her for her honest insight, self-compassion, and self-reflection. Trans people are still very misconstrued and trivialized, so I think it's great not only for her own sake but for the societal perception and understanding of transgender people in general to recognize the source of her own unreconciled identity. That's the first step to true healing and growth. Transgender people are pretty resolved about their transition and don't typically revert it later on, since it's considered a very pivotal aspect of becoming all that they truly are, so she doesn't strike me as being trans. To me it seems that she was seeking to reconcile or complete her identity somehow by pursuing a transition (an external thing) rather than focusing on the internal. All the internal stuff is where the trauma and baggage is, so it has to be addressed from the inside out, not outside in. I wish her the best in her path forward.
^ This is a lie that needs to stop being perpetuated. Most children who suffer gender dysphoria grow up and enter puberty still suffering from it. Children who simply exhibit gender non-conforming behaviors, on the other hand, typically grow out of it. Gender non-conforming =/= gender dysphoria. Funny how the only sources regurgitating this trope are not reputable and have a clear anti-trans bias. The "American College of Pediatrics" lead the charge. They are a notorious anti-LGBT hate group. www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/american-college-pediatricians www.jaacap.org/article/S0890-8567%2815%2900794-7/abstract depts.washington.edu/scdlab/research/transyouth-project-gender-development/
I started to understand your point Destiny, but if you're trying to argue the difference between trauma and being trans this confuses me. It sounds like you've been pretty traumatized. While yes, you are continue to want to transition, it doesnt change the fact you were obviously traumatized.
Destiny Price 420 sure but this girl was doing it for herself too. It was actually because she was traumatized she wasn’t trying to please anyone she was trying to fix herself bc she thought something was wrong with her.
"...As a trans man, once you start passing, you start to see a darker side. More rape jokes. The worst thing that happened to me is intensely funny to some guys." Woah.
@@adamclark9253 pretty sure that being forcibly sodomized or raped would be the worst thing to happen to me... if not, isn't thins proof that men don't take rape seriously and wouldn't hesitate to do it ?
adam clark You’ve clearly never been raped. Rape is one of the worst things to do to a person, and is one of the most common causes of PTSD. Rape is excruciatingly painful, humiliating, dehumanizing, terrifying, spreads disease, risks pregnancy, etc. It’s absolutely devastating. Rape causes more suicides, addiction, depression, and PTSD than ANY other type of trauma. Think about it like this. 20% of military members on the battlefield develop PTSD, whereas 70-80% of rape victims develop PTSD. THAT’S how bad it is. Even military members who’ve served in wars and have also gotten raped say that rape is worse. I have a couple of friends who’ve been raped, and they’ve also experienced things like severe physical abuse causing hospitalization, losing loved ones, chronic illnesses like cancer, growing up in foster care, etc. and they ALL say that the rape was the worst. I hope that puts it into perspective. Maybe someday you need to meet someone who’s a rape victim so you can see how it permanently destroys a person to their core for the rest of their life.
Love her honesty. Forget the 5% on the far left and the 5% on the far right. 90% of the folks in the middle support her. Wish she had mentors with wider experience in sexual trauma to suggest less extreme solutions (before her sex change therapy)
@@marcosantos3381 No, it is left vs right. All this social-justice nonsense was created by socialist to subvert the west to defeat or weaken the country from within to try and turn it socialist. Even ex-KGB officers like Yuri Bezmenov warned about the left and their propaganda tactics which they call subversion in the 80's, because he used similar tactics in other countries like India. You think China, North Korea, Eastern Block, Cuba, Vietnam, Cambodia and etc. just became socialist out of nowhere? th-cam.com/video/K4kHiUAjTvQ/w-d-xo.html Just look at the Chinese Communist Red Guard, it's just like how the left is weaponizing college students in the west. You people really need to learn some history, because this is why we keep repeating the same mistakes and falling for the same propaganda tactics.
No it is just another idiot that used a new informed consent to get on hormones she was never intended to take They she got real dysphoria and reversed her ignorant path.
Tbh I've seen soooo many american trans dudes going on hormones after 2-4 weeks after their first therapy session. Meanwhile in Germany you have to have at least 18 months! of therapy (usually one session per week) plus "Alltagstest" where you try to live your life like your desired gender. Some even have to wait more than 18 months to get hormones.
Harleen F. Quinzel I've been seeing a therapist for over a year now, damn well over two/three visits and she hasnt even suggested giving me hormones yet.
K no you don't, or rather it's at the therapists discretion what constitutes an 'Alltagstest'. If you appear convincing and have come out to people a while ago (say you had to wait 6+ month for your appointment) you can easily get hormones after two or three sessions. The 18 month rule is only for surgeries (or should be at least, it often feels like every town has it's own regulations...)
So heart breaking. I can’t even imagine. The thing I noticed from what she said, that’s different from my transgender friends, and I noticed even as she was telling her story, is that she never said she felt born into the wrong body, or assigned the wrong gender from childhood. She said she thought she must be a tomboy based on a gift her parents gave her, and that tomboys were cool. But she never said she felt she was really a man trapped in a female body. That’s the difference and a key difference that the therapist should have taken some of her clues from that this woman was not transgender. My friends who are were very grateful for their therapists who they spent years working with. This poor woman really just ended up with the wrong therapist. Breaks my heart for her.
Often times people’s stories change after they detransition. They believed they were born in the wrong body beforehand but after it just doesn’t have a fix like they think it should. Transitioning is so serious and the medical community is not taking it seriously. And I see a different point of view. Everyone I know who identifies with the tag ‘trans’ has trauma in the past that led them to that conclusion. I don’t know how to reach people when I’m called transphobic for being worried about each of their well-beings. There must be a reason for such a high suicide rate. It’d be great if therapists actually did their jobs and stopped using people for money by telling them they have more expensive problems than they do.
@@sofiatorres7850 To answer your first question, no. I gave anecdotal evidence of my own experience. Not everyone fits into the anecdotal lol As for the second question, the majority of the population does not have trauma. Gen z and millennials, generally, have taken it upon themselves to change the meaning of trauma lol Trauma is a very specific term which refers to things such as: Going through a war, a natural disaster, getting r@ped, etc.
@@rubypeterson665 I appreciate the first comment here that you made. The thing that I’m realizing is, people who engage in such debates whether for politically “righteous” or politically “inhumane” reasons are still politicizing something that isn’t an issue of political ideology. And in that, take on similar behaviors. Such as name calling, harshly judging, acting superior. For someone with gender dysphoria who transitioned and it went well for them to INVALIDATE another person with gender dysphoria who transitioning did not go well for them, is more of the same. Othering. Wanna be the same but wanna be different but continue to do behavior to people that didn’t allow for acceptance, sameness, or uniqueness in difference.
@@rubypeterson665 I admit this is a guess, but I wouldn't be a bit surprised to learn that the % of those who claim to be trans are trauma ( usually sexual abuse) survivors is very high. Every time the subject of this comes up and we learn anything about their background, sex abuse is in the picture. ~ Heather ~
I have a male friend who one day shocked me by saying he hated being a man and actually wanted to chop his male parts off. He was in such turmoil, suicidal , hospitalized several times , deeply depressed, lost his girlfriend who he loved. I was entirely supportive of his desire to become female. I didnt want him to commit suicide and if this made him ok, of course i would be on his side. He began transitioning. But then i ran across some other accounts of trans people and it got me thinking...about his mother. She was always horrible to him, emasculating at every opportunity. I couldnt tell if she hated him or men or just wanted a daughter. Well now she has transitioned and all of a sudden they are best friends. "Shes so supportive of me!" shes now writing. Now that shes a woman. I have to look at this as a possibly being a deeply unconscious drive to finally be what her mother wanted.
I see this alot. I see many people transitioning because of rejection. Some little boys see only a female world. Their fathers are incarcerated and mothers seem to love the little daughters and when there is no male models in the home, they can't identify with their own gender. Everything was "for girls" and parents who never put them in sports but the girls were in dance. They felt left out and started to blend with what mom and aunties seemed to like the most. Before they even could understand who they were, they began copying the gender that was celebrated.
@@dgraydon0001 You wrote "copying the gender that was celebrated". Thats interesting because it seems like feminists want to be more like men (the gender that traditionally has been celebrated) pursuing traditionally male role and actions. I wonder if the tables are turning, now that being female is celebrated in the home and out in the world as well (and having power in both) . Your theory could be correct. Glad im old.
@@dreamsofturtles1828 I truly believe it depends on the dynamic of the family. In this particular family, the women ruled and the men submitted. The women raised the children and the men minded their own business. Because they had raised daughters and this was the first son, it was if they didn't know what to do with him and yet didn't want him to be a girl, hence the "that's for girls" phrases repeated over and over. All was for girls and nothing for him. It's sad. He needed to know that boys are great too. Even better, that he was great and there's nothing wrong with who he was.
@@dgraydon0001 Every family culture is different isn't it. I wish there was more love and sensitivity shown towards children's feelings, that would solve so many problems. This has been interesting. I really think now that psychological testing must be done very thoroughly before someone is declared transgender. It could be other factors and those really need to get dealt with for the person to be healthy. Peace.
So people are upset with her for figuring herself out? She seems to have lived a circumstantial life, but mostly alone. If she spoke about what happened to her in college with a people of whom have similar trauma she would've gone down a different path.
Thank you. I’ve recently detransitioned after four months of taking male hormones. I realized I had internalized homophobia and trauma that I never faced head on. I thought that transitioning would make me a new person. And obviously it didn’t work. So, I’ve come to terms with being a lesbian woman. And I’m learning to be okay with that.
Very true. I suffer from internalized homophobia and get immediately turned off when I’m around effeminate men that talk with their hands and are flamboyant. There’s toxicity in a “community” that shouldn’t exist.
@@lolaispure4296my ride or die friend is lesbian and I love her to death. Im gay, but idk if there’s the same toxicity in the lesbian community than there is in the gay community.
I’m a Transgender man everyone is doing the best that they can in that moment. No one makes that decision to transition without a reason. If you detransition that’s cool too. It doesn’t make one less valid. There are people who are transgender and people who no longer need to be transgender and that’s fine. I never regret for one second and it makes me sick to think about detranstioning for myself and my body but if someone else needed to do that I’m okay with it. Both camps, my community and fundamental religious folks need to understand not everyone’s path to peace looks the same.
Ashton Colby .... path to peace.... That should be a foundation to help other people in her shoes. Perfect phrase for healing in any traumatic experience.
“Not everyone’s path to peace looks the same” is such a beautiful sentiment. It applies to so many issues in life, and is a very comforting thought. Well said!
As someone who’s been questioning my gender identity a lot recently... this was an awakening of the issues I really need to deal with. (Not to invalidate trans men and women, just that I personally need to handle more before I start considering it.)
Maddie Price trans man here, take your time its hard and everyone has gone through it, try to separate yourself from the emotions and analyze it in a subjective manner. Whatever you do, don’t feel rushed one way or another. I bet your friends and family will love you either way.
Hi there Maddie. My name is Victor - I'm a trans male. I've been questioning my gender identity since age 9, and didn't figure it out - or rather, accept myself - until just recently at age 15. You can take all of the time that you need! It'll all be fine in the end
damn dallon same shit Sherlock. And seriously look at this www.google.com/amp/www.newsweek.com/transgender-people-brains-wired-those-gender-they-identify-new-study-shows-939504%3famp=1 It can be physically observed. It’s a physical thing inside of your brain and it can’t be changed, it’s something you’re born with. It’s not a choice some people can just claim
Ezra Fitz Exactly, that's the article I was referring to as well. Female brains and male brains can't be told apart - though there are features that can be associated with a "male" or "female" brain, most are a mix. I have two articles on a large study that proves just that. www.fastcompany.com/40441920/everything-you-believe-is-wrong-there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-male-or-female-brain www.newscientist.com/article/dn28582-scans-prove-theres-no-such-thing-as-a-male-or-female-brain/
As a Christian, I did not have a problem with you at all. Unfortunately most do. I feel you do what you got to do. What I have a problem with is the people who judged you. Especially the ones that were supposed to be a part of your community. The ones that were to protect you and support your decisions. Mad you went through this. Keep your head up girl. I know how you feel.
As a Christian..... I don’t have a problem with you at all :(.... But I bless you and hope that you can find your place, you are loved and have a reason, a purpose and a place
moi, That's because you are not "a Christian". Each of us is an individuals, first and foremost. Categorizing ourselves (as "Christians", "atheists", etc.) is just incorrect. We are so much more than just labels that we think we need to apply to ourselves.
Honestly have nothing but respect for this woman. I do think she probably jumped into transitioning too soon. Whereas women like me can't even afford let alone have the support to transition themselves - something they might have needed for years. Regardless, she shouldn't be attacked for who she is. She shouldn't be blamed for her journey. Our relationship with ourselves, our bodies, and our own gender identity can be very hard to figure out. She should keep telling her story. I've known trans people who have redacted their statements about being trans and have reevaluated themselves entirely. I myself have had to reevaluate myself several times. I mean, shit like this pisses me off. There's no right or wrong way to be transgender and this woman cannot and should not be faulted for her decisions.
Destiny Price 420 you dont have to start from 3 years old to be transsexual. That is such a ridiculous statement. It takes time for some people to realize and understand who they are
Destiny Price 420 First you said and I quote word for word: "If you didn't start 3 years old to 7 years old you are not a transsexual you are a GNC a gender not conforming I know this because I started at 3 it never changed" First that is a huge run on sentence with no punctuation and you didn't mention medical studies. You said you know based on your experience. Then you said and I quote word for word "This is proven by doesn't have medical studies approved it and you keep pushing so that I get destroyed" That makes no grammatical sense whatsoever . Maybe it is you that needs to learn comprehension. How can I comprehend literary composure from someone that clearly doesn't know English? No where there did you say the words "studies used subjects 3 to 7 years old." You stated that you know this so called fact because YOU knew at 3 years old and not everyone's experience is the same. If someone didn't know from 3 that doesn't make them any less trans than you. Gender non conforming is when a person dont conform to any gender, now you are tossing that phrase around against people that didn't know they were trans at a young age. It looks like you need the comprehension sweetheart so your words come across clear. I screen shot the whole thing so dont try to lie. You never said "medical science use subjects that knew from 3 to 7 years old." You are basing this on your bias, liar. There are thousands of studies out there that say the opposite of what you are saying here. Thank God the truth is out there for people to read.
Destiny Price 420 I would also like to say that people like you will increase hatred towards trans people. It is not for you to say who is a real transsexual. Other trans people have pain just as real as yours and it is not for you to demean them by saying they are fake transsexuals. Everyone has a unique experience and you are not the authority. Give respect to get it.
Destiny Price 420 Ok. So he is the only person in the world to research this and he gives you the right to say some people are real and fake? He is not the authority and neither are you. Not all trans people know at that age. Just because you knew that doesn't mean they all do. Research states that trans people may realize their identities at any age but some firmly establish a transgender even by age 3. Key words being SOME. There is not consensus in the community on this. There are other people and other medical logs that say different. There's research out there both ways. I'm not going to win? You have already lost with your hypocrisy and hatred. You haven't met every trans person in the universe and neither has any doctor. I have trans friends that didn't know until they are much older and that doesn't make them fake. The only fake one here is you
How can you say someone is fake just because they reevaluated their gender identity? It can change. Gender itself can be a very fluid thing. I've known people who identified as cis and have discovered they were trans far later in life than just childhood. Hell, I didn't even discover my gender identity wasn't necessarily male until I was around 14-15 years old. And even then, I was struggling to understand. Now at 23 years old, the way I see myself has changed yet again. Although I still identify as a woman and desire some form of transition, I've come to accept I am not and will never be fully "female", opting to call myself "assigned male at birth" if not of some more androgynous, yet female-leaning (I will always consider myself more female than male after all) frame. Regardless, there are not rules set in stone for gender as we discover who we are at different rates. Not everyone just knows right off the bat that there was "something different" about themselves. Moreover, it can take a lot of time to get to know yourself, even if you think you know yourself very well. Like I said in my initial comment, gender isn't always easy to figure out. Even so, not every transgender person requires or desires transitioning to consider themselves "transgender". By the same token, not every transgender person will experience gender dysphoria, at least not in the same ways that another transgender individual might. It should be noted that gender is a very, very personal thing. You can't just blindly attribute rules to something so personal and intimate. That's why I've always kind of discounted the "I knew from a young age" trope because it doesn't necessarily apply to every transgender individual. I'm sorry you've had a bad experience due to who you are. But you're just one case of transgenderism if not gender dysphoria in and of itself. That being said, your case may be very different for another person's. Not just in terms of your gendered experience, but how you learned of your gender identity, the manners in which you've presented or expressed your gender, how you have perceived yourself, what forms of transitioning you've thought to be best (if any), and so on and so forth. There are so, so, so many nuances when it comes to the traditional gender binary alone. Not even considering the possibility of other genders (of which I personally believe exist), you cannot assume one case will match up perfectly to another, whether "cisgender" or "transgender". There's no "right" or "wrong" way to be transgender or to identify as one thing or another. You define who you are, what you're comfortable identifying as, etc. And this of course goes for all people, whether cisgender or transgender or neither. And that's really all there is to it. There are no inherent rules because it is all relative and socially constructed anyway. And as far as I am aware, the term "transexual" has become severely outdated. Continuing to use it doesn't make your points any stronger.
I'm trans and i'm happy these stories are shared too. Although I believe they are rare, they should be talked about, and in many situations a good psychological assesment by an experienced psychologist in the motivations for transition of the patient are nessecairy, before transition starts. I am happy that I got a good proper psychological assesment before starting T (although it was painfully long, and in my opinion shouldn't take years). She already got her recipe for T after a couple sessions. That is just not right.
I was curious too as to why did she make the decision that was - probably - wrong to start with? It's all hindsight, sure, but she probably has some ideas herself. One thing that stands out is the therapist, who advertised that he could get the hormones quickly, as she mentions. It is like they both decided 'trans!' with no proper analysis-based diagnosis.
It's complicated. Too much gatekeeping keeps people away from HRT. I think people should definitely have some kind of counseling first, not necessarily as a requirement for getting HRT, but because it's such a major change and stress in life. It's really helpful having someone to talk to when all of this is going on. I believe most trans people who elect to medically transition(myself included) know that it's the right thing, know the effects, and know what's reversible and what's not.
Informed consent is the standard that is pushed by the majority of trans rights organisations. Very few trans rights organisations agree with any gatekeeping, no matter how minor.
I agree that it’s very complicated. The thing is, if a psychological assessment wasn’t mandatory she probably wouldn’t have done it. I think a lot of us wouldn’t. And that way you don’t get the chance to screen people like her who do need that screening. In my country (the Netherlands) it is mandatory, and that also has a lot of problems, mainly that the assessment takes extremely long and shitty psychologists can stop people from transitioning. But we are making a lot of progress and I believe that there is a healthy middle ground; a short but prober assessment that will decrease the amount of cases who detransition. And I agree that counseling is always a good idea.
Something similar happened to me after I got raped. I shaved my head, started dressing like a guy, became a lesbian and got divorced. Two years later, I embraced my femininity accepted that woman can really be bisexual, and that being a woman is nothing to run away from regardless of our struggles
I think what you are saying really sums up the whole point of contention with gender reassignment. You were struggling - the girl in the video was struggling MENTALLY. So you needed time to sort things out and then learned how to live with, and rise above, the malevolence of life. It seems to me, if some pro -trans group got a hold of you(at your weakest point) they couldn't wait to start operating.... and if after 2 years you realized it was a mistake all the people who pushed you into reassignment would be nowhere to be found. Where is the compassion in gender reassignment? I see it as capitalizing on the weak... this is an industry and the victims are the confused people they prey upon.
I think trauma is a big part of why alot of people are homosexual. It seems they try to make themselves as unattractive to the sex that hurt them as possible. I feel so deeply sad for the victims of abuse.
I'm calling her bullshit out. if you use testosterone literally the clitoris is mind blowing flight sensitize one touch you get Niagara falls. Plus, to the moment she said she was jealous of someone else transitioning and she stated that at the time transgender transition was the it thing to do. so she did it. I was like nope she a cross dresser or doing drag like rupauls drag race. she didn't talk anyone did a self research and claimed she was trans and consulted one therapist. No second opinion just I'm doing it bam. what are people called who think they have what ever someone has oh yeah. hypochondriac.
I would be mortified by therapists who did things their patients didn't want. If anything the problem is the use of psychiatrists for screening transpeople. It's clearly not helping transpeople and certainly isn't useful for people who are looking for hrt and don't need counseling or psychiatric prescriptions. Psychiatrists exist to handout pills to fuck up your brain. They shouldn't be the specialists people go to for hormones. Physicians need to be trained on transgender healthcare. If we had more Physicians who were trained in transgender healthcare, we could cut psychiatrists out of the equation.
@@melloyello6789 A psychiatrist shouldn't be put into a situation in which their office is being used for the work of a physician. They specialized in psychiatry to practice psychiatry. If a physician is not capable of doing a physician's job, that doesn't mean you refer the patient to a quack.
You are mixing up your terms. Whether you agree with what they do or not, psychiatrists are fully-degreed MDs who have graduated medical school and gone on to do full hospital internships in multiple disciplines, and hospital residencies, just as their fellows in other specialities do. That makes them physicians. Psychologists who use "Dr" in front of their name have Ph.Ds or PsyDs. That makes them highly educated professionals who work in the medical field, but they are NOT "physicians." The psychiatrist should have referred her to a psychologist specializing in gender dysphoria and similar issues.
I would never trust a psychologist to assist her. Psychiatrist isn't as bad as a psychologist. Psychiatrists don't typically think Freud was credible. I can't be as certain about psychologists. Psychiatrists aren't just physicians and they aren't in a position to perform primary care. HRT is something a primary care provider would concern themselves with. We're an underserved portion of the population. Our needs can't be easily met by a psychiatrist. MDs and ODs are in positions to be more reliable and more accessible.
I don't know where you get your information about psychologists thinking Freud is "credible." Freud was revolutionary for his time, but his theories are generally considered antiquated by the vast -- VAST -- majority of psychologists. Even psychoanalysts don't follow Freud except as a figurehead. Additionally, no one said psychiatrists were in a position to provide primary care. They can only make recommendations and refer to an appropriate specialist when a condition falls out of their field of expertise. Gender dysphoria is widely considered to be a condition that has no psychological or psychiatric treatment. Typically a patient will be referred by the psychiatrist or psychologist to someone who specializes in working with such patients, such as an endocrinologist.
I’m a trans man and let me say that I don’t hate her for telling her story. I really hope someone going through what she went through watches this and I hope it’ll give them answers and just that sense of not being alone. Women really go through the worst and I don’t blame her for wanting to just be treated as a real human being. I support her 100% and I think she’s a very brave and inspiring individual. If there’s anyone here in the comments who feels conflicted about transitioning, I’m here if you want to talk.
Found Forever, No I have never regretted anything about my transition. When I realized I was trans, everything fell into place real quick. I do live in a culture where women are oppressed, and quite a few of my friends are feeling conflicted about gender. Do you feel conflicted too?
Jesus loves us no matter how we feel or what we choose to do. Does He always agree with it? No. But He is rich in mercy and grace ❤ When you search to know God more, you will then find your true identity ❤ If anyone wants to talk or pray I'm here & I love you but most importantly Jesus loves you 💕
I’m a Christian and I don’t hate her for telling her story either. I don’t hate her for anything. We all have issues. For me the answer is Jesus. He’s willing to be the answer for all of us. He does not anywhere teach is to hate or judge but to love. He teaches us to deal with our own issues before we even think about trying to fix someone else.
@@kekkelpenneypeckeltoot5700 I don't know where people get this idea that Jesus is some love hippy. That was never the idea I had when I was Christian.
Carrie, I'm a Christian and I just want you to know that I love you. You have had negative experiences with Christians and I'm sorry. My heart hurts that you had such an awful experience in College. I agree with what you about your trauma being behind your decision. I wonder how many other people have the same experience and it's not being addressed. My concern is not that people transition, it's that they aren't receiving the counseling that they need prior to making that decision. I have a personal friend who lost both parents in his early 20s, and lost them both in less than a year. He suffered from depression and anxiety. He came out as gay after his divorce to his wife. Then he decided he was trans. Then he told me he received counseling from another Psychologist b/c his depression hadn't gone away and he decided that he wasn't trans. This is a very kind man who I saw struggling and not receiving the mental support that he needed. Thank goodness for him that he didn't have the surgery, just the hormones; b/c it would have been so much harder to de-transition and try to reverse the surgery, if it can even be done. I'm not trying to be hateful or unloving to anyone; I just feel that people are getting the body dysmorphia diagnosis too soon and without adequate counseling. I went through a divorce and was raising my 2 children by myself and I had counseling for over 5 yrs; how can people have life altering surgery without getting adequate therapy, which I think should last at least 2-3 yrs. Then, after adequate counseling, decide whether they want the surgery or not. I'm an RN and worked in Labor and Delivery and our Obstetrician's wouldn't even perform a tubal ligation (getting your tubes "tied" to be sterilized) on a person under a certain age (usually close to 30 y.o.) and dependent upon how many children you have had. And that surgery is for sterilization, and they want to make sure that the patient makes an informed decision. That sort of surgery can be undone although there is no guarantee about the success of the reversal. They say it is such a "final" decision, and of course if they won't tie their tubes, the person can still use birthcontrol to stop unwanted pregnancies. My point is that a tubal ligation is not "life altering" surgery in the same way that Sex Reassignment is, and still they don't rush into it. I know that much of what you are saying goes against the whole "transgender" movement, but people really need Psychological support to make such a huge life change and I don't think, from what I have seen, that people are really getting it. I think you are very brave to come and out speak about your trauma in College and your time living as a transgender person and I wish you well
Sorry to hear that she regretted her transition, but at the same time I'm glad it helped her learn her relationship with her body, her trauma and her life. No ones path is easy and hindsight is 20/20. Her strength is inspiring as hell and helps me feel more critical but secure in analyzing my gender identity and going forward with my transition. People will try to warp her words but her message is VERY IMPORTANT to be heard.
This popped in my feed and I’m glad I watched the video. I’d heard of detransitioning before but listening to Carey tell her story gave me a much deeper understanding of the situation.
This is such an important topic. When I was 17, in my final year of high school, I was introduced to the world of Non-Binary trans people, and I felt as if I had finally found my people. I cut off all my hair, started binding my chest, and only wore masculine/androgynous clothing. Though I never took any medical steps toward transitioning, I came out as Non-Binary to all my friends and family and to my teachers at school. At first I felt relieved and like I finally fit in, but I found that my anxiety and depression only worsened. I don't remember a lot of that year, as I was so deep into a dark place that my brain has somehow blocked a lot of it out. What I do remember is that it took me that whole year to realise that obviously I hated my body, but not because I was born in the "wrong body" as a lot of Transgender people feel, but because my body had been violated at a young age which made me feel my body was disgusting and that it didn't belong to me anymore, or at least I didn't want it to. After I graduated high school I started seeking help and began to embrace my femininity again. It's been about 2 years since I decided I wasn't non-binary, but because 70% of the friends I have are in the LGBT community I felt too ashamed to tell everyone that I was wrong (because I feared they would turn against me as Carey has experienced). So although I know identify as a woman, most of my friends (mostly online) still use neutral pronouns and use my androgynous name. And honestly it doesn't help being a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with a man, because that already has so many problems related to being invalidated in the community. Hopefully one day I'll have the courage to really open up about my story like Carey has. Thank you for sharing your story
So sad. Forgive me but some of this stuff functions exactly like a cult. The way you can't just be yourself and go with your own flow without paying a heavy social price. Cults are always really into terminology, too. Labels.
You were sexually assaulted as a child I gather? I was as well....there is a lot I don't understand about the gender issues in America, would you mind if I asked you about it?...
Good on you for seeking help instead of hacking at your body. Trans have such a high rate of suicide so its obvious that transitioning doesnt help in the long run.
Red Le Clerc I feel your pain. When I was younger I was raped. After that I never was the same. I hated my body. As I got older I wanted to be a male. But now that I think about it I was very depressed. I had a very messed up family growing up. Mostly all males in my family. I always thought of myself as lower because I was a female. That's how my family made me feel. Some how me thinking of becoming a male would free me. But honest I was just trapped in a abusive family. I'm still bisexual but a lot of my friends and family feel uncomfortable with my story. You should tell yours. I would love to hear how somebody felt the same why as I did. I subscribed to your channel.
@@artofscripture5320 I don’t believe In god and I’m not changing myself and forcing myself to believe I’m a girl again for some god. This is who I am, a trans man
There are different types of dysphoria. Body dysphoria is the kind linked to eating disorders, in which people have strong negative feelings and reactions to their body or parts of it, but do NOT feel that they are the wrong gender. Gender dysphoria is what trans people have. It makes sense that some people might confuse the two, especially if they've been raped or assaulted and feel they'd be safer as a person of a different gender. It's obviously irrational, but no one makes rational decisions if they're still haunted by their pasts.
Cis women can’t have gender dysphoria btw. Gender dysphoria is caused by your brain being MALE, therefore any girl who has genderdysphoria has a male brain and they’re trans
Especially in some so called "progressive countries " .... But this is not really progress . Porters is finding cute for cancer , making sure no child will die of leukemia one day , this is what progress should be . Not telling men that they can magically become women and vice versa . That's not progress , that's just a big business where a lot of people feed from .
I know it can feel like that but in many places getting a prescription for hormone replacement therapy is actually a lot more difficult than it should be. I'm sure there are cases, like this one, in which the opposite happens, but they are very rare and definitely a minority.
This sounds so much like my story - except - I never transitioned. Born a woman (tomboy), still a woman - but the trauma, the assaults by men, are too common. My answer was to get into the martial arts, which stabilised my fears and gave me a sense of power in a situation. I also "dressed down" all my life to hide the fact that there was a pretty girl underneath all that. But yeah. I'm thankful that nobody tried to transition me for "not liking my body" or my "femaleness" or being afraid of male assault. SO MUCH rings true: "I met a trans guy, was so jealous because he got a mastectomy" (top surgery) I was also jealous because of the T juice - energizing, life enhancing stuff (but I didn't want the hair, nor to deepen my already deep voice). To see someone on T therapy - it's like more powerful than any antidepressant! But yeah, I've seen the "dark side" of maleness. And I am thankful that I never got it in my head to transition! I don't think I could go so far as to say *nobody* should use medicine to transition - but I have been otherwise iatrogenically damaged - and I believe that everything should be exhausted first before performing procedures which may be irreversible. I've had surgeries that I regret - the long term effect of these things is not widely explicit in the medical community. The surgeries were success (but the long term effect of living without organs is more challenging, and they don't talk about that). I also have concerns about long term use of hormones...so - I'm not saying nobody should do it. But I believe that the ones that do should be really really certain that this is the only answer for them. And I am shocked at how easy it is to convince doctors, therapists, clinics, etc., that this should be done. $$,$$$
A trans group came to my daughter's school when she was five. They also convinced DCFS to remove children who's parents wouldn't use pronouns or support surgery and drug treatment. Researching their yearly event in Seattle all the sponsors of that event are either gender clinics, surgeons, doctors, or others who benefit monetarily from this industry.
What’s hard about that is some people still live in small towns where people are horrible, and are in fear. That’s where my ex and I lived during his transition. Not the one he grew up in, because that would never work, but somewhere he was employed in his trade. I think the rate of the procedure should be somewhat individual.
Im gay and take T cuz I have low testosterone levels. When i got my blood test done my doctor said I have a testosterone level equivalent to a 92 year old male. It really works for that purpose and does have antidepressant affects, but it must be harder for trans men to take it. I’ve heard a lot of negative things in the news about trans rights, but there are good trans people out there that are struggling like her. Not all of them are like her, but I have sympathy cuz she’s been through so much crap. I can tell she’s really intelligent as well and knows her stuff. I hope she’s finds her place in the world 🤙🏼
She put herself in a state of limbo, and people are attacking her for it. This is what's wrong with human beings, we cannot agree to disagree on certain topics.
I used to work at a residential treatment center for troubled teen girls. What was interesting is that all these girls had various issues and triggers such as drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and even a few of them identified as boys. Almost all of these girls self harmed, and were suicidal 😢 the one thing that almost all of these people had in common was that they had all been sexually abused as kids or sexually assaulted as young teenagers. There’s something to be said about sexual assault
this isn't a trans problem, it's a female problem. i'm going through the same thing rn, frustration and anger at my body because of what comes with it. it's a pain. i questioned if i was trans once too, and im guessing that's the reason why so many detransitoned people are cis female.
I hate when people always blame detransition people. They didn’t want to end up in the situation they are in, regretting their decision to transition with permanent effects. Most of the time it’s because of something like this, or mixing up dismorphia with disphoria. It isn’t their fault and should get to inform others. They are no less valid and they are not a debate.
Amy Cavaliere Absolutely! As a trans guy, ensuring I was not one of these people was critical, it took months of careful consideration and ruling everything out to be totally sure. It is crucial that people like this are given the care and supported need so that hey don't make irreversible decisions that aren't in their best interests. Helping these people is in everyone's best interest. I appreciate you not lumping all trans people in with detransitioners and their experiences. Just thought I'd pipe in and support a well-written, considered comment :)
This woman's story, and the story of people like her isn't "proof people shouldnt be allowed to transition". It's simply proof that everyone is different, they have their own issues and while transitioning may work for some, it doesn't work for others, and no matter what, they need support as they figure out what is right for them.
True. Also transition needs to be seen as less of a pivotal one way street. Hormones shouldn't be seen as a cliff you're jumping off but a stepping stone that might or might not help you towards your goal of being more comfortable being you. And if it turns out that that's not the right path then there should be no shame in backtracking and trying something else. But instead this idea of transition from one clear thing to another clear thing gets in the way
Thank you!! you win the award for the most logical comment of the year award!! I get sick of people on both sides of the isle saying "Yes you MUST transition" or "NO you should NEVER transition!"
I would like to note that she hasn't said anything remotely invalidating trans people throughout the course of the video. She's just making a video recognizing that she was not actually trans and just had mental health issues that she had to work on. Carey is not "proof" that all trans people are invalid. She's just trying to tell her story and anyone trying to twist this into "SEE!! I TOLD YOU TRANS PEOPLE ARE BAD!!" is completely misunderstanding the point of the video.
This is a case of someone who wasn't trans but transitioned due to other reasons. This is why therapy is often really helpful. Helps you sort through identity feelings versus feelings of society and trauma and stuff.
I think there's some issues going on here with this person that goes way beyond gender identity....it seems like she needs a lot of help. I'm glad she's telling her story because it needs to be told but in the same breath, there's something bigger going on here with her other than just gender identity.
This isn't the 80's. Homosexuals are so accepted that they are celebrated and if anyone disagrees with their lifestyle, the rest of society attacks them. People who don't agree with homosexuality are the ones not accepted by society. People lose jobs over "homophobia" every day. Are you kidding me? A restaurant or bakery has to deal with angry mobs of people and online harassment for holding that view. Do you live in Saudi Arabia or something?
Yes, online and in liberal cities (most large ones) homosexuality is accepted. That doesn't mean that people don't struggle with their identity (I know I did, despite coming from an accepting home) and that certainly doesn't mean that people from more rural/conservative areas are doing alright. There are countless accounts online of homophobia that young people have faced, and its incredibly naive to think that just because mainstream media is pro-LGBT, that all of the population is too. In the latest season of RuPauls Drag Race, a 30-year-old opened up about his parents sending him to a literal exorcist to get rid of his sexuality. Next step was conversion therapy, until he ran away.
Yeah, she tells us in the video. It's trauma. She's an assault survivor. She wanted to protect herself and didn't feel safe in her own body, so she thought she was trans. It had to do with her gender, but not her gender identity per se. Look up dissociation and it'll make more sense.
Regarding quotes, as long as they credit and reference where the got the quotes from and quote them correctly, it isn’t against the law. It’s sad that she felt violated for sure though.
The bottom line is she didnt have gender dysphoria, which u need to be trans. She mistook body dysmorphia for gender dysphoria, which some people sadly end up doing.
The reason people don't like you for 'just stating facts' is that you're taking a tiny minority of cases and using it as a justification to prevent all people from accessing healthcare they may very well need. You are attributing way too much agency to the "LGBT community"- if we really had that much political pull it wouldn't have taken so fucking long to get gay marriage or intersex people's rights to bodily autonomy in a tiny handful of states.
What political pull? Most of us can barely be taken seriously at the doctor's office, let alone in Congress. I can count LGBT representatives on my fingers and they spend most of their time focusing on 'general' issues, unlike straight ones who really want to legislate what's in our pants. If we really had that much pull, I wouldn't have been ruined by doctors who saw my androgynous body and like really fucking wanted a straight boy. Your free speech isn't being violated when people call you an asshole for being an asshole, but our speech often is violated and treated as a joke. One of the fastest ways to get censored is to be a minority with a platform, LGBT included if you haven't been paying attention to who TH-cam has been booting from the platform other than angry red bois.
Night Mare they impact you? in what way? because what you said after has nothing to do with you. you clearly have some kind of problem against the LGBTQ+ community, you don’t have to make things up like “tHeY iMpAcT mE”
"Dark humor also functions as a way people create camaraderie, as you are telling the joke with a sense of trust in those around you to understand and be in on the joke", you say - but doesn't it just inspire a sense of trust in people that don't take issues like this seriously that you understand them (and also don't take it seriously)? There's a reason women don't tend to make rape jokes, bub.
And as far as not taking things personally.... It's really not like that at all. It's about the subject being brought up and reliving those awful emotions. That feeling of wanting to die, that feeling that you will never be a clean, whole person again, that feeling that you would kill anyone who ever tried to touch you intimately again, the feeling of the most deep humiliation and shame. To process feeling all of those things in an instant and then immediately after to hear laughter is a sickening experience. How could I ever want to open up to those people about that experience? It creates a lack of trust in that area. It just makes you want to be away from the kind of people that would joke about that kind of thing. And well said, there really is a reason girls never make rape jokes. And the ones that do have something wrong with them.
Its not funny to me but rather has been disturbing to learn that it is real. but hey knowing is half the battle. Every one is unique. Trust fully... to a point. Come at me and I will stab you in the eye. Metaphorically.... to a point.
I hate dresses and skirts. I resented being a girl, I was jealous of my brother, but I got over that. When I got old enough to wear what I wanted, I was so much happier.
I’m a huge LGBTQ advocate and this is the actual first time I’ve heard of detransitioning. It’s not something I thought of out of the realm of possibility, I just never heard of anyone claiming it. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m furious that you have gone through all this shaming after all this trauma. I’m also furious that your therapist rushed you to transition rather than recognize the trauma from sexual assault. That therapist failed on her part. Regardless, I wish you best on your journeys moving forward. Stay strong!
I second that, I'm a trans guy and am frustrated by how some trans people attack those who at one time identified as trans and decide to detransition (socially, medically, etc). Like, let people figure out what makes them feel right. I get that there are people out there who are using her (Carey's) story as "evidence" that trans people are all just mentally ill. I really get that, and it sucks. But at the same time, we, as a community, cannot shame someone into silence for speaking their truth. Yes, the vast majority of people who medically transition don't regret doing so, and trans people should have access to that life-affirming care. But we need to also acknowledge and support people who detransition.
BBC Stories, let me just say I greatly admire and appreciate your standard of journalism in not just your own country but around the world. And am really glad that the Atlantic pinned your comment, so I could tell you this. Keep up the good work. That goes for the Atlantic as well
BBC Stories BBC Stories why do I have to pay for you to comment on vidioes? Nice comment, but you are getting payed to sit and do that. The only justification is better international relations, but it's a Atlantic story about a trans case so very irelivent to national or international relations for me to pay you. Dear BBC employe would you be ok if we had a talk it will be civle I promise. And if you don't want to go in to all the racist policys against natives Britons who we all should be supporting since this is there land we're on. But I digress hopefully your open to a talk
I’ve been subscribed to her TH-cam channel for a long time, seeing this pop up in my recommended was so strange (but cool). As a trans man, it is incredibly interesting to hear about her thoughts and point of view.
Private schools, whether religious or not, should allow girls to wear pants. We all know that some minds go perverted as soon as men see those school-girl skirts!!😒😒
They do... it’s just that not many girls choose to wear the shorts or pants. So if you want to wear pants, you might be dissuaded from doing so due to fear of feeling like you don’t fit in
When I went to private school, I begged my mom to buy me the boys uniform, and she did. They don’t BAN it, it’s just not common. I was perfectly fine and teachers didn’t yell at me for it. Though I was like, 6.
Don't cry about it. People made jokes about my weight many times and i just don't care. Men are pretty much made jokes about anything. You have a wierd name, you are skinny, you are fat, you arent bright, you are too bright, married or single and so on, men are usually tease you with it. Especially if you are with your friends. We do it constantly with our friends and some men doing it with strangers as well, usually when they are in group. Woman and trans man cannot understand or tolerate this because inside of their changed bodies, they are still woman who knows little about how to be a man.
I remember when I was 10 I was extremely annoyed because people kept saying I should be more girly, I should wear dresses and skirts, I should let my hair grow longer, I should spend more time with the girls and not with the boys... At 11 I got my period and with it came boobs. I started getting undesired attention and the boys started treating me differently and I hated it. My best friend, who happened to be a boy, couldn't stop trying to peek under my dress the only time I wore one and I felt hurt and ashamed but I didn't tell anyone. I thought "I wish I was a boy". A few times random boys or men groped me in the street. At 14 I had a group of girls bullying me and forcefully groping my boobs to try to figure out if they were real. It's easy, especially when you're young, to blame your body and look at the greener grass on the other side. Of course the other side has other problems as well. The problem is not the combination of genes we are born with. It's the cruel society we live in. We don't need plastic surgery, hormone treatments or any kind of modification. We need to be surrounded by loving, open minded and respectful people.
So true! I just love people and if you’re around me it’s a judgement free zone, I don’t let anyone talk bad about someone (even if they’re not there) when they’re around me. I try to smile and make people laugh too :). I sometimes feel like people think I’m being fake but, you know what I really just want people to be happy and it’s better to show that.
Cheila Ferreira agreed.. the starting part is so relatable though in my case it is more of a hate of stereotypes.. i don’t feel female or male yet i was born female.. i have been forcefed the girly thing and be ladylike shit all of my life and have always rebelled against it.. i was that kid who would not get what i wanted at the toy store cuz my mother wanted me to be a girly girl and for me to pick a doll instead of an action figure or one of those transformer cars.. wich i would always walk over to whenever i was in the store.. if i had picked what i liked my mum would just bring it back and instead give me some barbie doll or say but isn’t this more fun.. and i couldn’t do anything about it because i would not get what i wanted.. though i would still throw a tantrum most of the times or just lie down telling her i wouldn’t walk untill i got what i wanted instead of what she wanted.. a few years ago on vacation queue my stephmother someone who only cares for the stereotype shit.. literally telling me that i should walk more like a lady.. like who cares how i walk ? I certainly don’t saying something like that to my face is the worst thing anyone can do.. compare me to a stereotype and i’ll compare your face to the sidewalk.. even now i feel more comfortable talking to guys than girls even if i am straight.. whenever guys talk it is usually about cars or some videogame that i happen to play too at least the guys i hang out with..with girls it inevitably always ends up going about relationships or some other thing i have 0 knowledge of.. so i end up just sitting there like a guy would not really getting most of what they are saying.. so basically i am just the most awkward being on this planet.. that doesn’t even really feel human..
RIGHT?! And if a man is quiet around girl talk that is totally normal, but if a woman is too quiet then you're just a big weirdo! Luckily I ended up in the video games industry, were there aren't many girls and they tend to be geeky as well. Artists get away with being weird more easily :) That stepmother story reminds me of an ex-boyfriend's mom who insisted on putting makeup on me! The shit we put up with when we're young... People think kids and young people must be molded into their stereotypical ideals... These days I'm a lot more like confident about who I am and I rarely get challenged. But I do make an effort to be more feminine, otherwise It's very difficult to be in a relationship because guys are raised with this stereotypical girly girl as their goal as well... Life is complicated -___-
I've been following Carey Callahan for a little over a year and I'm so beyond happy to see she's getting some exposure! Her story is really helpful for other detransitioners, myself included.
I hope you are happy and healthy. Any type of chronic dysphoria or PTSD sucks. Talking about detransitioning and regret is just as important as talking about transitioning and satisfaction.
Life isn't perfect but I don't think that's unique to me. Ultimately I realized that my desire to transition, much the same as her's, stemmed from PTSD and dissociation from my body. I have my coping mechanisms, and I can absolutely say life is better now than it was prior to or during transition.
I just want to hug her and tell her she’s beautiful just the way she is. It wouldn’t solve all her problems but I feel so few people react that way to her.
From Australia, all i can say is, you are wonderful. Recently went to a talk by Dr Anderson, rather disappointed there wasn't the chance to ask questions of people's experiences and the science and psychology. Too much emphasis on Religious aspects. Hope all the mundane things in life are Ok? Job, Home etc?
When smart people go through this, and then tell their stories in videos like this, it’s the only way forward. I love this human, & I’m grateful she put this together. Thank you so much for sharing your story🙏🙏🙏✌🏼
Really appreciate this. We shouldn’t only hear expedient stories or those that fit into our narrow understanding of the world. I feel like I can see a new shade in the various experiences of those with gender dysphoria. And what an articulate woman!
TheTreePunchee Eh no. Women can wear kilts too. There’s men and women’s kilts as women’s are normally for dancing and men’s for formal wear so the look a bit different (women’s shorter) but still the same thing.
I went to private school and never once thought my uniform was a kilt...I also never hated the fact that I was privileged enough to have to wear a uniform, while public school kids get bullied for the clothes they wear... uniforms made us all equal and less distracting in class.
Yeah, it sounds like she never hated her body but what was assigned by society around her body. I'm actually a trans guy and for me I have disphoria revolving around my body and the parts I have. There are days where it's little and I just feel uncomfortable and then there are days I feel sick because of how much I can't stand having female parts when it feels like I shouldn't. Even when I thought I was a girl I always wanted a flat chest and small hips and when my body did the opposite during puberty I got depressed without understanding why. And then one day I decided to chop my hair off and somehow just having short, masculine hair helped a bit and over a couple more years I discovered that I'm transgenger.
Yep. I too am a trans man and I want to fuckin rip my boobs off sometimes. Intense body dysphoria that leads to depressive episodes. I hate it. I'm pre transition and 100% know I would never regret.
I don't think she was *ever* being "dishonest"; she simply did not have the tools in that particular period of her life to get to the root of the problem. Lots of people do have legitimate gender disphoria, and deserve access to treatment (cosmetic and mental), but it should absolutely take more than a couple sessions to decide when surgical intervention is useful. Her therapist had their own agenda, it seems, rather than any true interest in helping her get to where she NEEDED mentally. There are far too many crackpot therapists out there, and a large portion of the good ones charge too much for the average person in crisis to have access to.
It's not so much that the therapist has an agenda as it is that the medical community has moved away from the "gatekeeper" past to the informed consent model. Essentially, that a fully grown adult patient that exhibits the symptoms, and professes those feelings receives the treatment. It's a short-cut, basically. Never attribute to an agenda what can be explained by people trying for quick fixes. I think it's a mistake to say there's a specific number of sessions that are needed. Some patients actually don't need that many. It is however, incumbent on the therapists to suss out other potential issues. Imagine how much pain and frustration this woman could have been spared if her therapist had found out about her assault and helped her work through that first?
‹depression autopilot› In a loose sense of the word, yes, I suppose so. You'll forgive me, considering the topic at hand, for assuming that you meant "political agenda" specifically.
This is one of the reasons I don’t support transitioning at a whim or at too young of an age. Because the process of altering your natural body with hormones, blockers, surgery, etc should only be done once and reversing it seems like you’ll never be the way you were before you started to me
Same reason I'm extremely against gender clinics in Canada and USA handing out hormones to young people without even needing letters of therapists. So many people want to transition although it's just a phase *cough* non binary *cough*
I transitioned female from male 3 years ago. Out of a sense of loniness associated with with being an mtf transwoman I gave up my transition and decided to live as a man again. The problem is now is that I'm even lonier and have to deal with the psuedo female personality that constantly reminds me I should have never given up the transition.
thanks for that personal story. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling to reconcile your identity. I wonder if there was a lack of external support that may have played a hand in your struggle? You talk about the loneliness so i'm assuming you didn't have many friends/family supporting you through your journey? Is there any reason why you couldn't proceed again with transitioning? I hope you can find your way to a path that will allow you peace of mind. Ps - You're a great musician!
I hope now some of the people who abuse her HEAR her story and get WHY she did it. I was as a teen praying everyday to be a boy. Not because i was trans or gay BUT BECAUSE i would no longer be attractive to predators. Sad times!
Same. Dressing like a boy and having short hair was my child self's way of making myself unattractive, which meant in my child self's mind that there's less of a threat and feeling safer. It didn't mean I was trans. Being female or male isn't defined by what someone wears, how short your hair is or what your interests are.
I hate that someone who already has gone through tons of trauma has to continue to suffer trauma because of being used as a political symbol. Fellow human beings, the fact that diagnosis can be wrong sometimes doesn't mean that the diagnosis can never be right. And we shouldn't punish people because their doctor got something wrong.
This is why i think people should get therapy before calling themself "trans" and going through a whole procedure just off a whim when there could be so much more going on than just "i feel like I'm the wrong gender" i think therapists need to take this matter more serious than just saying "oh your trans just take some hormones" like that is a life altering decision it shouldn't be made so hastily
Jean Valjean it's most likely because she's an adult that they didn't care that much (which is ridiculous) but most people who are genuinely trans do go to therapy and actually have to before hormones and surgery of any kind
Jean Valjean the real problem is that when she started to transition the rules were probably wayyyy more lenient because Im a trans guy and I had to go through about 3 years of therapy before I could start hormones and trust me its not easy to transition nowadays
I'm very happy with who I am overall, and experience very little dysphoria and psychological stress about my gender identify. I'm transgender and started transitioning in my early twenties. While this video ruffles my feathers because I know her story can be used by some to disqualify trans people, everyone must do what is best for them and be true to themselves. If she felt she wasn't really trans, then I'm glad she figured it out sooner than later. She seems like she has had a lot of trauma, hope she is able to overcome the impact that's had on her life.
I'm a Christian and I have no problem with you. Jesus loves you. I pray you start seeing yourself as God sees you, His precious child, also.. you're gorgeous 😀
Why would your religion have anything against trans people? Does the bible say anything about transitioning? I know it has verses opposing homosexual acts (not homosexuality itself), tho.
God will find her a man, to settle down with and be happy. Love can heal anything, regardless of you circumstances and pain. Love is not fire but water, when you need comfort it is automatically there for you instead of destroying everything you always dreamed off. It takes bigger women in heart, to finally be happy with they Mr right and not let anybody take that off them regardless what those anybody say through jealousy, doubt, wickedness, stubbornness and hatred. That is true love, she will be safe and happy one day soon l feel because l trust in God she will.
The Bible might not say anything specifically about transitioning, but if God wanted her to be a man he would have made her that way. God doesn't make mistakes. This woman was beautifully and wonderfully made by God.
So I feel bad for this girl. She must’ve gotten a therapist who didn’t realize that her main issue is trauma after sexual abuse. The therapist shouldn’t have jumped to fill in the papers. Then again it sounds like that therapist just fills in papers no matter what if someone pays them.
Detransitioning is a taboo topic in the trans world because some people see it as delegitimizing the trans community. But the people who detransition were never trans to begin with! This topic needs to be discussed in a respectful way and not be used to delegitimize the trans community.
@@antisocialartist9944 I mean, most of them did and still do have gender dysphoria. They just realized that for them, transitioning wasn't going to cure their dysphoria. I'm not detrans but please, let's not minimize what detrans people have been or are going through.
This is very true. We have to talk about detransitioning. I’m not transgender so I have absolutely no clue what goes on within someone who transitions or who do detransition.
This story hit me deep. From the time I was little, I was consistently told that I was bad at being a girl. Countless were the times I was mistaken for a boy, and I remember one particularly hurtful incident where I decided to wear a bikini at a pool and was laughed at because the patrons thought I was a boy in women's clothes (how weird that I was inadvertently subjected to transphobia at the age of twelve?) and I still remember the pain of looking at myself in the mirror trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Even recently, while on a retreat meant for healing actors (yeah, I do theatre) I was told by a guy I had a crush on that I would only play "freak" roles and a fellow woman that I had a masculine face. These constant barbs haunt me everywhere I go. My insecurities recently ruined a performance of mine because the character was supposed to be coquettish (Columbina if anyone is familiar with Commedia) and I convinced myself (with the help of outside "encouragement") that I couldn't do it justice. I live right on the midline of gender expression without meaning to and as thus have to reach to fit in society's different boxes. Recently my demons have driven me to a complete, hermetic standstill. I don't go outside. When I have to, I duck my face. I've bought a ticket to Europe so I can travel a bit this summer and be a person unto herself, and by being alone forget the person I have become. I don't like "me" in relation to other people and doubt I ever will. Oddly enough, the queer community has been my closest home away from home, even though I am dubious as to whether I am truly queer myself, or if I just look it on the outside purely because my natural gender expression is different. So in short, I understand the wish to transition just to make life easier, but have to remind myself that in regards to cis men, "tricking the system" (as the most rancid and hurtful people in our society might think trans people are doing) is a worse "crime" than playing but failing. Unfortunately, the only viable solution I see to my dysphoria is keeping to myself to protect my heart. To all the dysphoric, trans, and queer people out there living their lives unabashedly and in the face of discrimination and danger, I am in awe of you. It's easy to fight for others, but fighting for yourself is so much harder and you do it with so much grace. Maybe someday I'll build a little of that self preserving strength for myself, too.
Hey, so not to trivialize your experience, but I just wanted to say if that's you in the video on your channel, trust me you don't look like a man. You have the sort of natural aesthetic that was popular during the 90s and early 2000s. You kinda resemble January Jones. She has a bit of masculinity to her features but it works for her and she owns it. TBH, I think women's faces are actually more androgynous and boyish than people want to admit. You have a perfectly normal female face, but western culture has made the world obsessed with this fantasy of an exaggerated contrast between male and female. It's just fantasy. I hope you're well. Don't be afraid to show your face outside(once covid goes away). It's all about mindset.
Go for it! Don't spend your life being unhappy. And dont spend your life not liking YOU! This us your life..make it work for you, you've got to find a way to harness your sense of control. And dont be afraid of what other people think. ..a suprising amount of folks have never had an original thought .
@@teragram8006 thank you so much to everyone that commented on this! Can’t believe I just stumbled upon it a year later. I feel embarrassed 😳 I’m doing better, still struggling through a lot. I’m probably at most non-binary and at least androgynous, but COVID hasn’t been great for my journey of self discovery because I can’t get in touch with many real people. Probably one of my biggest problems was the old “friends” in my corner. The acting world (especially theatre, sadly, despite its queer history) is steeped in heteronormativity and it got too much for me. I just never fit there, and if I act again, it definitely won’t be in those circles. It was also tough going through 4 years of college theatre to find my “brand”, only to discover that my real brand was totally unpalatable to popular theatre going audiences. Right before COVID I met people who respected me for who I was, and instead of the regular shit I get (“you look like a stylish dike” :/ thanks shithead, didn’t ask you to conflate my gender expression and sexuality) they actually encouraged me to be my most authentic self. It is AMAZING what a good friend group can do. Thanks for wondering about me, everyone, it’s rare that people on the internet are actually nicer than in real life.
I know it’s easy for me to say, but I feel like if the experience transitioning contributed to self discovery, then it helped build who u are, and it needed to happen to get u where u r today. And should try not to feel too much regret that u went down that road. It’s natural to have regrets in life and that’s fine. As long as we learn from the experiences and not let the regret consume us. That said, it’s simply terrible for someone to use ur quotes and experiences out of context.
Regina Fallangie I totally agree. These people hijacking her truth want to take away the option of finding a solution. She talks about suicide too: if hormone therapy was not an option, would she have taken that option instead? That would be counter to pro-lifers too right?! Options mean another chance to contribute to society; their pursuit of happiness.
And not to forget: male and female bodies are never just organic manifestations. They are very much politicised and used. The way I interpret her story is: her experiences with sexual violence contributed to a hightened awareness of the many ways in which her body was (ab-)used by individual men, by society, by politics etc. Clothing norms that forced her to wear skirts felt invasive... Male traits are equated with power, which is also why men who were sexually abused talk about a feeling of "emasculation". Femininity is wrongfully equated with vulnerability and victimhood - a destiny, that she understandibly resented. I was sexually abused as a young teenager as well and while I didn't go through extreme gender-dismorphia, I had symptoms of it. I became anorexic (which is linked to body-dismorphia, the feeling that your body isn't "right"). However, when you get very skinny, your gender-traits also become less apparent. And I remember feeling less threatened because I was less sexually attractive for boys... But it's not the body per-se that is the problem, but the way our bodies are semantically loaded within society. Boobs and curvey hips weren't the problem. The problem was the ways in which they were sexualized. A higher voice and smaller body-height wasn't my issue. But the ways in which these became "expressions of powerlessness". It is important to ackowledge this distinction, to stop self-blaming.
Regina Fallangie Intentionally misquoting people- is unethical. That psuedo-christian male is U N E T H I C A L. By choosing that, he negated his own point in his "book". He negated his sense of self in the world. No credibility outside of a narrow walk of ALL life. That will always follow him around.
Valhalla and others - I'm sorry for your hurt. May you find solace in knowing that there are many people out there reading your post who may not reply, but are supportive and hope it doesn't happen again to you or to others.
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Shouldn't the therapist have tried to help her figure out her trauma instead of giving her life changing hormones after 5 sessions?
That therapist was most likely not familiar with trauma informed care.
Jazzy Most of these therapists need therapy themselves. They go into it because they have personal problems. This is proof they are unqualified.
2:46 Even worse: 3-4 sessions in. In typical therapy, they've barely finished hearing ones story, just a little bit, for the sake of intake in order to even begin to get anywhere. I hope these "therapists" burn. That is not help and they're profiting off of people with their so-called expertise.
THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT THE MONEY
@@kathybrown376 That's BS I am a therapist I work with addiction and mental illness and i don't get paid jack. It's about helping the client. As I said before. These therapist were not familiar with trauma informed care. You have to know what questions to ask and investigate the responses carefully. There are lots of therapists who do go to therapy themselves that's because we know the value of it. Just because one is not perfect and one does not have a perfect life does not mean you cant help someone. If these people never brought up the trauma's they had there is no way the therapist would know. That's why trauma informed care is so important. I happen to specialize in CBT therapy. Thinking that therapists only care about the money is hog wash and an excuse.
Not signing up for femininity doesn't mean you're not a woman.
True that. I believe some people are transgendered but the vast numbers of the past few years are likely dealing with other life issues. This women clearly was not transgendered. I seems like it is getting more and more crucial that how we feel and behave is normal on a large spectrum for both sexes.
👍👏
I am a tomboy, and I love being female. Been a tomboy all my life, and I am 66 years old and a lesbian. I never thought that being a tomboy had anything to do with being gay. Any female can be a tomboy. That is just the way some women are. The only women anyone needs to be wary of are butch-fems. They out perform almost all men and women in most areas. They look great on your arm, AND they can fix the roof. They will break every bone in your body if you mess with them, too. They are truly a phenomenon. Lol. Just joking (sort of).
Preach
Katzekatzekatze For real! I don’t understand why if a young boy likes to wear dresses and likes “girly stuff” they feel the need to give the child hormone blockers and transition him into a transgender female? It’s sick giving a child hormones or blockers that don’t let puberty occur. Its a fad almost with progressives. If a boy likes girly stuff or the other way around... so be it that’s the way god made them. According to them gender is a societal construct anyway right?
I think what she realised is that regardless of whether she was male or female it didn't fix her internal problems, this is why extensive therapy is so important.
If she was really trans, transition would have helped to some extent, it seemed to only make it worse though.
@@ashleyashleym2969 a lot of "trans" people find that finally transitioning doesn't fix their issues; hence post-op regret, detransitioning, high attempted suicide rates, etc.
Agreed!
@@Zoco. I don't know what you think "a lot" is, but a vast majority of trans people DO find that transitioning helps. The only people who detransition are the people who are like the girl in the video, who just weren't trans at all and were misdiagnosed too quickly. Suicide rates are much higher among those who are pre-transition. A survey done in the UK showed that only 2% of trans people regretting their transitioning surgeries. Compare that to the 66% of UK respondents who replied that they regretted their plastic surgeries. The AFSP Williams Suicide Report, a study on suicide attempts among transgender and GNC adults is a very informative study to look at and worth the read over. williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/AFSP-Williams-Suicide-Report-Final.pdf
It's why affirmation therapy is a concern. And why gender dysphoric people need proper counselling to understand the root of their dysphoria before hormones.
I have a feeling, that we are going to hear more and more sad stories like her in 10-15 years.
I really hope she finds her place and happiness!
she asked for it lol
Yes, I think there will be many stories of dissatisfaction in years to come. It's very sad how they took advantage of a traumatized woman.
@@onengkusumah2905 stfu
@@saintshrooms9424 go get your transition and cry a river here later rofl
Yeah... Playing with God’s creation results in nothing but regret..
God,,, this poor woman. She’s the victim of severe neglect on her therapist’s part. They should have had her in therapy for much longer and should have worked on her mental health and wellness BEFORE her transition.
Therepists are not a solution to the hard places people find themselves in. There is not a therepists in this whole world that can "cure" the things that make people desperate/uncomfortable. In my opinion, therapy doesn't make sense....it makes money. If someone is struggling within themselves a talk and a pill, a Coke and a smile is not going to fix it. I know from experience.
@Shane Noel yes they are it’s there job to know the human brain they can will tell you ways to get better and they are someone to talk to now if you don’t listen to them and get angry at everything the oof good luck
@@shanenoel1270 Your experience, alone, ain't shit.
No one said anything about therapy being a cure.
Therapy is one part of the deal, the other part is YOU. You need to do the rest yourself.
Kazum180 👏👏👏👏
Mary1337 👏👏👏👏
“Such an underdog city”
*shows a tiny dog*
Coaster Chris 😂😂😂
small dogs are more for women i believe . . "small" is feminine in general
LMFAOOOOOO
😂😂😂
jajaja
Whether Trans or Cis, I'm frustrated with her therapist for not exploring the "I want to take my body off" feeling, for not addressing her trauma/obvious dissociation before altering the baseline. I hear tons of victims say things like "I want to wash off my skin" or "my body isn't mine/clean" that's always a red flag in my mind. If after the trauma/dissociative issues have been resolved and the client is still dysphoric ... then proceed with pharmacological and eventually surgical interventions if the client desires it. Geez Louise!
I agree it seemed like her discontent had nothing to actually do with her gender identity and more with the way her trauma affected her perception of her body. It worries me that psychological issues are being overlooked, and therapists are jumping the gun.
beans beans the magical fruit This is why a thorough psychosocial assessment annotating a clients entire life experience is a standard of practice. I don't understand how her therapist missed this unless she choose not to disclose the SA in her rush to get the Rx. If it's the former she's operating outside of our ethical guidelines and should be reported to the state licensure board and professional organization. This is completely unacceptable.
Unfortunately, unethical therapists (and money-grubbing ones) do exist, same as there are doctors who'll prescribe opioids for a stubbed toe. This story is a cautionary tale about getting paying for the answer you think you want. She said that she got her hormone authorization very quickly and that should've been a big red flag, but someone who is still experiencing trauma is going to leap at the first viable solution rather than what is necessarily the best.
Reve Dream Exactly, competence!
Patrick Lewis Outside of billing constraints, unless its blatantly obvious, I really take my time in assigning a possible Dx, let alone an Rx intervention outside of a crisis situation. It really is disheartening to know there are people out there who have no qualms c ruining someone's life like this. I never want to be THAT therapist.
I was sexually abused as a child and started dressing like a boy so everyone around started to convince me that I was a boy because I dressed as a boy, I knew I was a girl but I started to thinking maybe, I am a boy everyone is saying I am.
I started going to therapy once I left school and started to heal, I started loving dresses but still don't wear heals or make up, I know i am a woman but I was scared to show my body incase a man took advantage of it.
So yes, it can be a trauma thing.
If this happened to me in this day and age my parents and doctors probably would of convinced me to transition, I would have never healed.
That reaction is very understandable. Any reaction will seem right in a very extrem situation like that. I include you in my prayers. I always pray to God that he should please send angels to rescue abused children. I hope he listens to me.
I did the same
Yeah, being a girl and hitting puberty is like having raw meat hung off of your chest sometimes. And it doesn't matter that it's "not all men" who do it. It's almost all women who go through it.
My dad raped my half brother. He was thrown in prison and I was left with my mother and aunts.
They convinced a young boy that all men are trash, so I disassociated from my masculinity and started dressing like a girl and calling myself by the feminine equivalent of my name.
Luckily, the women who made me hate men, acted quickly to reassure me that not all men are evil and that being a male isn't wrong.
Had it not been for that, I'm sure I'd be among the deceived who claim they were born that way.
I’m so so sorry any of that happened to you but trauma and being trans are two different things and sometimes people get confused and think their trans from trauma, but there are real trans people
"This isn't a trans thing; it's a trauma thing."
Nonya Bidness
trauma and sexuality/gender are not interchangeable nor are they connected but lots of confused people have trauma
And the politicians have capitalized on it.
More the reason to treat with compassion and shame the politicians who want to capitalize on using transgender people for votes .
Human psychology is complex, and in her case, it seems like it was trauma. But it's not always like that.
Nonya Bidness ‘most’ were not abused eye-roll-where do you people get these ridiculous ideas!
The problem was that she just wanted to get rid of her female body, not feeling a need to have a male body.
It's exactly right. I have a good friend that chose a more androgynous appearance due to wanting not to appear female. She's recently gotten a mastectomy and is perfectly happy being addressed by friends as her/she. It was more about hating the feeling of being a woman in public spaces, rather than wanting to be a man. She's comfortable in her body now, and she's an amazing person. I hope everyone is able to find peace with their bodies.
The therapist should have explored that. It is absolutely fucking ridiculous that they gave a hormone letter after 3 visits.
yeah i relate to your friend. i constantly envy male bodies because of how much easier it seems to exist for them, but i'm defiently not trans
@Blank yeah, don't you have to live for 5 months in your desired gender role?
awe lotta It depends on the therapist. A good one will work with you for a while. This chick probably wants a reputation for being an easy person to get letters from. She preys on young, impulsive people that don’t want to wait.
She was never a transgender case. She was a straight woman with trauma caused by men so she hated her female body and wanted an easy way out by becoming a male to run away and hide instead of dealing with it . All she needs is therapy.
@R M Yesss
Yah this is totally her. She was trauma with her female body so she tried opposite gender to expect a better life but it wasn't
The same is true for the majority of people currently embracing the trendy diagnosis of transgenderism - they are not genuine cases but running away from some deep source of self-loathing that manifests in a desire to mutilate their bodies. I think it is very similiar to anorexia and bulimia which are also dysmorphias: starvation, bingeing and purging, cutting of your breasts or penis can all be seen as extreme reactions to a sensation of powerlessness, like taking "control" but in a pathological way. There are going to be a LOT of regrets in the future....
But thats what got her there, therapy. It seems like therapists are too quick to label any trauma or mental illness as a struggle with gender or sexual identity, whether they do it intentionally or not.
She got therapy and they told her she was gender queer and gave her the means to start testosterone. You act like she's the only person who has gone through this. The whole point is to open the eyes of people that there are others like her. It's not to invalidate anyone or to attack. It is to simply say that what she went through is what a lot of other people have gone through and this idea that everyone who dislikes their body is PROBABLY TRANS is ridiculous.
I think her therapist failed her by not trying to figure out the root of the problem. It was neglect. I feel really bad for her. Keep sharing your story. It'll help someone else going through the same thing.
The mental health industry in general is failing at accurately diagnosing gender dysphoria. They’re giving out recommendation letters for hormones like candy, because they’re too afraid of being seen as transphobic.
Getting gender surgery twice must cost like 80000000 billion dollars, just to end up the same you began only mutilated
If I've learned one thing, it's that trauma changes people in unique and often unexpected ways. Also, recovering from trauma is a very complex and confusing process.
MaineCoonMama very true.
Ariana Armour-Transformation that is touching. She was a lesbian from the age of 4 then Transformed into a Male.
@k johnson I was commenting on this one person's story and trauma in general, not on trans people in general.
It doesn't help either when you have people putting ideas in others heads, especially children that there's something they're not. Then before you know it they're taking medicine to regulate their hormones and they're all screwed up by the time they're 20. Thanks progressives.
@kjohnson8317 I agree with you. It's more complicated. Thing is were all different so pigeon holing us doesn't work cause reality isn't a pigeon holed reality it's reality. It's a fluid/many things.
She sounds very depressed. I hope she feels better now. I have been through depression, it takes time. Stay strong
Laleh VonTofu The Atlantic is a loony left identity politics driven organ. Finally they’ve shown the downside of the transgender psychosis gripping the western world.
@@designanddirection Stop using people's misery for your own ideology and political agenda. It's utterly duplicitous and and reprehensible!
@@designanddirection Yu must be a Right Wing Shithead
I feel bad for you not bc you transitioned but because you were assaulted and traumatized and never got justice you also get bullied and harassed and it’s just cruel and wrong and I’m sorry
as a trans guy, I feel bad for her for those reasons but I also feel bad that she transitioned. Transitioning when you're not trans actually gives you gender dysphoria, because your body starts to become that of the opposite gender, which makes your brain disconnected from your body. It's like forcefully making yourself feel how a trans person does before they transition. It's absolutely horrid. This woman may have been lucky because her irreversable changes are minimal, but she probably still had to use voice training to get her voice to sound womanly again. I feel really bad for these people.
No she transitioned because her therapist diagnosed her with gender dysphoria.
@Jon Wayne thank you
Hayley Kyrk I’m trans yea that’s so sad
Make up your mind!
Most girls go through a stage of feeling awkward about their bodies when its developing. I did. One day all the boys and girls in class have more or less the same shaped bodies, then suddenly you're changing. But the feeling of awkwardness doesnt last. In fact before long I was buying padded bras to emphasize that difference . Im not saying anyone should do that either. Just pointing out how drastically we change our minds as we grow up.
Yes. Which goes both for girls or boys.
I once saw a “trans checklist” on tumblr and one of the questions was: “getting my period was scary/traumatic: agree, not sure, disagree” etc., and I was like, what fucking girl is HAPPY about getting her period? All my friends cried about it. It’s perfectly normal to freak out when you start menstruating and even to continue to resent your period for a long while afterwards. It doesn’t mean you’re trans, ffs.
I felt like a woman specifically in my 20's or even last year and I am 22 soon. I NEVER considered or even thought about myself as a girl before without desiring being a guy. Yeah it's weird.
@@seventhsheaven Wow! That's so manipulative. The worlds upside down.
Def its harmonies and puberty but we're kinda getting it confused with being gay or lesbian now..
I can’t believe the doctor gave her hormones by the 3rd or 4th session! I thought you had to go for a lot longer to be recommended for them
I met a transgender woman who had to wait a year, once a week visits and hormone therapy wasn't even discussed for the first six months.
I had six appointments and a year of real life experience (living as male openly) before they let me go on testosterone. I agree. More appointments are necessary.
It’s fucked up. No matter how difficult it is, this is exactly why the process should be harder. It isn’t fun for those currently waiting, but could be a lifesaver for people in Carey’s position who were victims of abuse and confused the aftermath of severe trauma with gender dysphoria.
Depends on age.
A patient of mine was diagnosed gender dysphoric on the first visit with their therapist and offered puberty blockers within a week at the transgender clinic. She/He/They are 12.
God can I relate to this. I thought i was a trans dude for 5 years. But all I needed was somebody to tell me that being a more "masculine" women was okay because all my life i was bullied for not being obnoxiously feminine.
Hey can you dm me somehow? I'm a younger trans guy and I worry about transitioning sometimes. It would be cool to share our experiences and see if they're similar
Cant really dm through youtube but id be happy to talk.
I can relate, as an effeminate man I've struggled similarly. I've had points where I struggled with my identity but I'm (mostly) comfortable in my skin.
♆ Satan ♆ I hear about this a lot it’s really sad
@@TheCinderfang One of my close guy friends was very very feminine and everyone thought he was gay from the way he talked, acted etc. Anyways years later he is now in a long term relationship with a super hot, rich blonde newscaster loving life. Plenty of women like feminine males, there's nothing wrong with you. I've always been a tomboy.
This poor woman...she's gone through alot...
oh now you wanna call her a woman?
MIke Mike It's common among rape victims to feel gender dysphoria. Their bodies have been violated. She confused her trauma from rape with wanting to physically change her gender.
She detransitioned, she calls herself a woman.
Wait, I thought she said she was harass during transition (when pretending to be a guy) not before
jay fawn She said she was sexually assaulted way before the transition 1:48
It may be common for rape victims to feel dysphoria, but not necessarily gender dysphoria. VERY different. If it were true, a lot more women would be transitioning.
Fun fact: Women can be women and dislike girly things. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are something you aren’t just because you aren’t typical.
I totally agree. I am a very tomboyish woman but I am still happy with myself. I don't get my nails done, I don't do pedicures, I don't dye my hair anymore, and I hardly ever wear makeup. But when I do wear makeup it brings out my eyes and I get noticed more as an attractive feminine woman. I try to be as feminine as possible but without spending a lot of money to do it. That is the part i hate the most about being a woman, the cost of trying to stay looking attractive!
@@julien2912
Have you heard the old saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
Basically, it's saying that different people have different tastes. So some men might like Women who wear makeup & some men don't. I know plenty of men who say that women today wear too much makeup.
My husband doesn't care if I wear makeup or not. I wear makeup for myself, not him.
I've been wearing makeup since I was in High School & I wear makeup for me. I don't like to leave the house without makeup on & a pair of dangling earrings. But that's because it's my look & I love earrings, lol.
When I was single I still bought pretty, frilly underwear even though I knew that no one would see it. I wore it b/c it make me feel good.
I'm a Mom & I'll give you the same advice I gave to my daughters, you wear make up & clothes that you like. If you don't like to wear makeup then don't. You'll find someone who cares for you just the way you are.
If someone you're dating wants you to wear makeup or clothes that you don't want to wear, dump them. Too many people start dating someone & then try to 're-make' them into what they think they should be.
Just be true to yourself.
Good Luck in dating. 💙
I completely agree, except I would almost prefer the word *stereotypical* over "typical" here...💯%👍
nobody is telling anybody else who they are. Good open minded free people will tell you who you CAN be, and respect your autonomy, and support you through whatever path you choose, but the scared, ignorant bigot aholes on the right will tell you who you can’t or shouldn’t be. That’s a huge difference. STOP TELLING TRANS PEOPLE THEY’RE WRONG
Glad she didn't get a mastectomy before she changed her mind.
If she did her forearm would look terrible as said by a former transgender it hurt terribly and looked horrible
@@hadbetterdays8118 it doesn't always come from your arm. Your thigh is the most common place to take skin from to make the phallus.
@@samraddatz6002 that just sounds way more painful especially if you sit down and forget to take the pain medication
@@hadbetterdays8118 a mastectomy is removal of the breasts..
@@wes5352 goes to show now uneducated people are
She was misdiagnosed as trans and I feel so bad for her. She should have been seeking help for her trauma, not transitioning.
true lots of people think they are actually trans when they're not
That’s because they don’t question a patient who comes in saying they’re trans, for fear of being persecuted by the trans community as a “bigot”
Tabby Cat right? If patients realized that inherently science cannot be bigoted it’s just facts, then doctors and scientists would have a much easier time actually solving issues rather then simply trying to smack a bandaid on it because it’s less “emotionally hurtful”.
Unfortunately I believe too much focus on your own feelings and inner monologue is what gets so many people stuck in the awful place they’re in and miserable.
Current society is too focused on the self and how everyone makes “me, me, me” feel, instead of how “I, I, I” make others feel and shape the world around me.
Most trans people suffered trama in their lives.
I understood that she made that decision for herself?
"This is not a trans thing, this is a trauma thing." I applaud her for her honest insight, self-compassion, and self-reflection. Trans people are still very misconstrued and trivialized, so I think it's great not only for her own sake but for the societal perception and understanding of transgender people in general to recognize the source of her own unreconciled identity. That's the first step to true healing and growth. Transgender people are pretty resolved about their transition and don't typically revert it later on, since it's considered a very pivotal aspect of becoming all that they truly are, so she doesn't strike me as being trans. To me it seems that she was seeking to reconcile or complete her identity somehow by pursuing a transition (an external thing) rather than focusing on the internal. All the internal stuff is where the trauma and baggage is, so it has to be addressed from the inside out, not outside in. I wish her the best in her path forward.
^ This is a lie that needs to stop being perpetuated. Most children who suffer gender dysphoria grow up and enter puberty still suffering from it. Children who simply exhibit gender non-conforming behaviors, on the other hand, typically grow out of it. Gender non-conforming =/= gender dysphoria.
Funny how the only sources regurgitating this trope are not reputable and have a clear anti-trans bias. The "American College of Pediatrics" lead the charge. They are a notorious anti-LGBT hate group.
www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/american-college-pediatricians
www.jaacap.org/article/S0890-8567%2815%2900794-7/abstract
depts.washington.edu/scdlab/research/transyouth-project-gender-development/
I started to understand your point Destiny, but if you're trying to argue the difference between trauma and being trans this confuses me. It sounds like you've been pretty traumatized. While yes, you are continue to want to transition, it doesnt change the fact you were obviously traumatized.
Destiny Price 420 sure but this girl was doing it for herself too. It was actually because she was traumatized she wasn’t trying to please anyone she was trying to fix herself bc she thought something was wrong with her.
"...As a trans man, once you start passing, you start to see a darker side. More rape jokes. The worst thing that happened to me is intensely funny to some guys." Woah.
Exactly whoa many many men are disgusting. My son will not be like that
@@adamclark9253 they're just quoting what she said 3:55
adam clark Most, if not all, of rape victims say that being raped was the worst thing to ever happen to them
@@adamclark9253 pretty sure that being forcibly sodomized or raped would be the worst thing to happen to me... if not, isn't thins proof that men don't take rape seriously and wouldn't hesitate to do it ?
adam clark You’ve clearly never been raped. Rape is one of the worst things to do to a person, and is one of the most common causes of PTSD. Rape is excruciatingly painful, humiliating, dehumanizing, terrifying, spreads disease, risks pregnancy, etc. It’s absolutely devastating. Rape causes more suicides, addiction, depression, and PTSD than ANY other type of trauma.
Think about it like this. 20% of military members on the battlefield develop PTSD, whereas 70-80% of rape victims develop PTSD. THAT’S how bad it is. Even military members who’ve served in wars and have also gotten raped say that rape is worse.
I have a couple of friends who’ve been raped, and they’ve also experienced things like severe physical abuse causing hospitalization, losing loved ones, chronic illnesses like cancer, growing up in foster care, etc. and they ALL say that the rape was the worst. I hope that puts it into perspective.
Maybe someday you need to meet someone who’s a rape victim so you can see how it permanently destroys a person to their core for the rest of their life.
Love her honesty. Forget the 5% on the far left and the 5% on the far right. 90% of the folks in the middle support her. Wish she had mentors with wider experience in sexual trauma to suggest less extreme solutions (before her sex change therapy)
The Heritage Foundation is not "far right". It's conservative.
It's not left or right. It's transtrenders vs normal people
@@marcosantos3381 No, it is left vs right. All this social-justice nonsense was created by socialist to subvert the west to defeat or weaken the country from within to try and turn it socialist. Even ex-KGB officers like Yuri Bezmenov warned about the left and their propaganda tactics which they call subversion in the 80's, because he used similar tactics in other countries like India. You think China, North Korea, Eastern Block, Cuba, Vietnam, Cambodia and etc. just became socialist out of nowhere? th-cam.com/video/K4kHiUAjTvQ/w-d-xo.html Just look at the Chinese Communist Red Guard, it's just like how the left is weaponizing college students in the west.
You people really need to learn some history, because this is why we keep repeating the same mistakes and falling for the same propaganda tactics.
Im a "right winger" according to most and i support this woman!! I hate that she was rapped😢
Well at least she found herself in the end, a very intelligent, caring, calm, good person. Must be a very brave person too.
No it is just another idiot that used a new informed consent to get on hormones she was never intended to take They she got real dysphoria and reversed her ignorant path.
Yeah.. I feel bad about what happened to her, she should get better therapy instead of transitioning
That therapist should be bought up. Hormones should not be given on the second or third session.
What planet do you live on, where hormones are given after two or three sessions????
Harleen F. Quinzel it says so in this video- the therapist she saw gave her hormones after the third session.
Tbh I've seen soooo many american trans dudes going on hormones after 2-4 weeks after their first therapy session. Meanwhile in Germany you have to have at least 18 months! of therapy (usually one session per week) plus "Alltagstest" where you try to live your life like your desired gender. Some even have to wait more than 18 months to get hormones.
Harleen F. Quinzel I've been seeing a therapist for over a year now, damn well over two/three visits and she hasnt even suggested giving me hormones yet.
K no you don't, or rather it's at the therapists discretion what constitutes an 'Alltagstest'. If you appear convincing and have come out to people a while ago (say you had to wait 6+ month for your appointment) you can easily get hormones after two or three sessions.
The 18 month rule is only for surgeries (or should be at least, it often feels like every town has it's own regulations...)
So heart breaking. I can’t even imagine. The thing I noticed from what she said, that’s different from my transgender friends, and I noticed even as she was telling her story, is that she never said she felt born into the wrong body, or assigned the wrong gender from childhood. She said she thought she must be a tomboy based on a gift her parents gave her, and that tomboys were cool. But she never said she felt she was really a man trapped in a female body. That’s the difference and a key difference that the therapist should have taken some of her clues from that this woman was not transgender. My friends who are were very grateful for their therapists who they spent years working with. This poor woman really just ended up with the wrong therapist. Breaks my heart for her.
Often times people’s stories change after they detransition. They believed they were born in the wrong body beforehand but after it just doesn’t have a fix like they think it should. Transitioning is so serious and the medical community is not taking it seriously.
And I see a different point of view. Everyone I know who identifies with the tag ‘trans’ has trauma in the past that led them to that conclusion. I don’t know how to reach people when I’m called transphobic for being worried about each of their well-beings. There must be a reason for such a high suicide rate. It’d be great if therapists actually did their jobs and stopped using people for money by telling them they have more expensive problems than they do.
Ruby Peterson So every trans person in the world has a trauma? Haha
Even though that was true, who doesn’t?
@@sofiatorres7850 To answer your first question, no. I gave anecdotal evidence of my own experience. Not everyone fits into the anecdotal lol
As for the second question, the majority of the population does not have trauma. Gen z and millennials, generally, have taken it upon themselves to change the meaning of trauma lol
Trauma is a very specific term which refers to things such as: Going through a war, a natural disaster, getting r@ped, etc.
@@rubypeterson665 I appreciate the first comment here that you made. The thing that I’m realizing is, people who engage in such debates whether for politically “righteous” or politically “inhumane” reasons are still politicizing something that isn’t an issue of political ideology. And in that, take on similar behaviors. Such as name calling, harshly judging, acting superior. For someone with gender dysphoria who transitioned and it went well for them to INVALIDATE another person with gender dysphoria who transitioning did not go well for them, is more of the same. Othering. Wanna be the same but wanna be different but continue to do behavior to people that didn’t allow for acceptance, sameness, or uniqueness in difference.
@@rubypeterson665 I admit this is a guess, but I wouldn't be a bit surprised to learn that the % of those who claim to be trans are trauma ( usually sexual abuse) survivors is very high. Every time the subject of this comes up and we learn anything about their background, sex abuse is in the picture. ~ Heather ~
I have a male friend who one day shocked me by saying he hated being a man and actually wanted to chop his male parts off. He was in such turmoil, suicidal , hospitalized several times , deeply depressed, lost his girlfriend who he loved. I was entirely supportive of his desire to become female. I didnt want him to commit suicide and if this made him ok, of course i would be on his side.
He began transitioning. But then i ran across some other accounts of trans people and it got me thinking...about his mother. She was always horrible to him, emasculating at every opportunity. I couldnt tell if she hated him or men or just wanted a daughter. Well now she has transitioned and all of a sudden they are best friends. "Shes so supportive of me!" shes now writing. Now that shes a woman. I have to look at this as a possibly being a deeply unconscious drive to finally be what her mother wanted.
That is so sad. What a HORRIBLE mother!
I see this alot. I see many people transitioning because of rejection. Some little boys see only a female world. Their fathers are incarcerated and mothers seem to love the little daughters and when there is no male models in the home, they can't identify with their own gender. Everything was "for girls" and parents who never put them in sports but the girls were in dance. They felt left out and started to blend with what mom and aunties seemed to like the most. Before they even could understand who they were, they began copying the gender that was celebrated.
@@dgraydon0001 You wrote "copying the gender that was celebrated". Thats interesting because it seems like feminists want to be more like men (the gender that traditionally has been celebrated) pursuing traditionally male role and actions.
I wonder if the tables are turning, now that being female is celebrated in the home and out in the world as well (and having power in both) . Your theory could be correct. Glad im old.
@@dreamsofturtles1828 I truly believe it depends on the dynamic of the family. In this particular family, the women ruled and the men submitted. The women raised the children and the men minded their own business. Because they had raised daughters and this was the first son, it was if they didn't know what to do with him and yet didn't want him to be a girl, hence the "that's for girls" phrases repeated over and over. All was for girls and nothing for him. It's sad. He needed to know that boys are great too. Even better, that he was great and there's nothing wrong with who he was.
@@dgraydon0001 Every family culture is different isn't it. I wish there was more love and sensitivity shown towards children's feelings, that would solve so many problems.
This has been interesting. I really think now that psychological testing must be done very thoroughly before someone is declared transgender. It could be other factors and those really need to get dealt with for the person to be healthy. Peace.
So people are upset with her for figuring herself out? She seems to have lived a circumstantial life, but mostly alone. If she spoke about what happened to her in college with a people of whom have similar trauma she would've gone down a different path.
Mostly trans people, yes.
Taye Nic Uneducated people, yes, but trauma is not something generally known about unless studied.
Thank you. I’ve recently detransitioned after four months of taking male hormones. I realized I had internalized homophobia and trauma that I never faced head on. I thought that transitioning would make me a new person. And obviously it didn’t work. So, I’ve come to terms with being a lesbian woman. And I’m learning to be okay with that.
The world will force you to think your way out of a situation because a bully has no self control and can't stop harming you.
Dang. I LOVE lesbians. I LOVE masculine Energy expressed in a woman. I crave that type of Energy in my Life. It is a beautiful special thing.
As long as you find a way to be at home, you’re good :)
Very true. I suffer from internalized homophobia and get immediately turned off when I’m around effeminate men that talk with their hands and are flamboyant. There’s toxicity in a “community” that shouldn’t exist.
@@lolaispure4296my ride or die friend is lesbian and I love her to death. Im gay, but idk if there’s the same toxicity in the lesbian community than there is in the gay community.
I’m a Transgender man everyone is doing the best that they can in that moment. No one makes that decision to transition without a reason. If you detransition that’s cool too. It doesn’t make one less valid. There are people who are transgender and people who no longer need to be transgender and that’s fine. I never regret for one second and it makes me sick to think about detranstioning for myself and my body but if someone else needed to do that I’m okay with it. Both camps, my community and fundamental religious folks need to understand not everyone’s path to peace looks the same.
Ashton Colby .... path to peace.... That should be a foundation to help other people in her shoes. Perfect phrase for healing in any traumatic experience.
'people who no longer need to be transgender'..What
“Not everyone’s path to peace looks the same” is such a beautiful sentiment. It applies to so many issues in life, and is a very comforting thought. Well said!
“people who no longer need to be transgender”... what??
What you were trying to say is really beautiful, but... What? People are wether transgender or not.
As someone who’s been questioning my gender identity a lot recently... this was an awakening of the issues I really need to deal with. (Not to invalidate trans men and women, just that I personally need to handle more before I start considering it.)
Maddie Price trans man here, take your time its hard and everyone has gone through it, try to separate yourself from the emotions and analyze it in a subjective manner. Whatever you do, don’t feel rushed one way or another. I bet your friends and family will love you either way.
If you’re ever really questioning then get a brain scan because transgenderism can be looked at and shown in the brain
Hi there Maddie. My name is Victor - I'm a trans male. I've been questioning my gender identity since age 9, and didn't figure it out - or rather, accept myself - until just recently at age 15. You can take all of the time that you need! It'll all be fine in the end
damn dallon same shit Sherlock. And seriously look at this www.google.com/amp/www.newsweek.com/transgender-people-brains-wired-those-gender-they-identify-new-study-shows-939504%3famp=1
It can be physically observed. It’s a physical thing inside of your brain and it can’t be changed, it’s something you’re born with. It’s not a choice some people can just claim
Ezra Fitz Exactly, that's the article I was referring to as well. Female brains and male brains can't be told apart - though there are features that can be associated with a "male" or "female" brain, most are a mix. I have two articles on a large study that proves just that.
www.fastcompany.com/40441920/everything-you-believe-is-wrong-there-is-no-such-thing-as-a-male-or-female-brain
www.newscientist.com/article/dn28582-scans-prove-theres-no-such-thing-as-a-male-or-female-brain/
I love how unforced this story was told. Didn't feel politicized at all. I felt like I was just listening to this woman tell me her story. Good job.
4:53 No, that doesn't sound like whining at all. It sounds like you had some serious trauma that was not properly addressed.
As a Christian, I did not have a problem with you at all. Unfortunately most do. I feel you do what you got to do. What I have a problem with is the people who judged you. Especially the ones that were supposed to be a part of your community. The ones that were to protect you and support your decisions. Mad you went through this. Keep your head up girl. I know how you feel.
Exactly it's just many traumas that should've been dealt with before making rational decisions.
As a Christian..... I don’t have a problem with you at all :(.... But I bless you and hope that you can find your place, you are loved and have a reason, a purpose and a place
High five for also being an open minded christian
moi,
That's because you are not "a Christian". Each of us is an individuals, first and foremost. Categorizing ourselves (as "Christians", "atheists", etc.) is just incorrect. We are so much more than just labels that we think we need to apply to ourselves.
Not much of a christian then
Honestly have nothing but respect for this woman. I do think she probably jumped into transitioning too soon. Whereas women like me can't even afford let alone have the support to transition themselves - something they might have needed for years. Regardless, she shouldn't be attacked for who she is. She shouldn't be blamed for her journey. Our relationship with ourselves, our bodies, and our own gender identity can be very hard to figure out. She should keep telling her story. I've known trans people who have redacted their statements about being trans and have reevaluated themselves entirely. I myself have had to reevaluate myself several times. I mean, shit like this pisses me off. There's no right or wrong way to be transgender and this woman cannot and should not be faulted for her decisions.
Destiny Price 420 you dont have to start from 3 years old to be transsexual. That is such a ridiculous statement. It takes time for some people to realize and understand who they are
Destiny Price 420 First you said and I quote word for word:
"If you didn't start 3 years old to 7 years old you are not a transsexual you are a GNC a gender not conforming I know this because I started at 3 it never changed"
First that is a huge run on sentence with no punctuation and you didn't mention medical studies. You said you know based on your experience.
Then you said and I quote word for word
"This is proven by doesn't have medical studies approved it and you keep pushing so that I get destroyed"
That makes no grammatical sense whatsoever .
Maybe it is you that needs to learn comprehension. How can I comprehend literary composure from someone that clearly doesn't know English?
No where there did you say the words "studies used subjects 3 to 7 years old."
You stated that you know this so called fact because YOU knew at 3 years old and not everyone's experience is the same.
If someone didn't know from 3 that doesn't make them any less trans than you. Gender non conforming is when a person dont conform to any gender, now you are tossing that phrase around against people that didn't know they were trans at a young age.
It looks like you need the comprehension sweetheart so your words come across clear. I screen shot the whole thing so dont try to lie. You never said "medical science use subjects that knew from 3 to 7 years old." You are basing this on your bias, liar.
There are thousands of studies out there that say the opposite of what you are saying here. Thank God the truth is out there for people to read.
Destiny Price 420 I would also like to say that people like you will increase hatred towards trans people. It is not for you to say who is a real transsexual. Other trans people have pain just as real as yours and it is not for you to demean them by saying they are fake transsexuals. Everyone has a unique experience and you are not the authority. Give respect to get it.
Destiny Price 420 Ok. So he is the only person in the world to research this and he gives you the right to say some people are real and fake? He is not the authority and neither are you. Not all trans people know at that age. Just because you knew that doesn't mean they all do. Research states that trans people may realize their identities at any age but some firmly establish a transgender even by age 3. Key words being SOME. There is not consensus in the community on this. There are other people and other medical logs that say different. There's research out there both ways. I'm not going to win? You have already lost with your hypocrisy and hatred. You haven't met every trans person in the universe and neither has any doctor. I have trans friends that didn't know until they are much older and that doesn't make them fake. The only fake one here is you
How can you say someone is fake just because they reevaluated their gender identity? It can change. Gender itself can be a very fluid thing. I've known people who identified as cis and have discovered they were trans far later in life than just childhood. Hell, I didn't even discover my gender identity wasn't necessarily male until I was around 14-15 years old. And even then, I was struggling to understand. Now at 23 years old, the way I see myself has changed yet again. Although I still identify as a woman and desire some form of transition, I've come to accept I am not and will never be fully "female", opting to call myself "assigned male at birth" if not of some more androgynous, yet female-leaning (I will always consider myself more female than male after all) frame. Regardless, there are not rules set in stone for gender as we discover who we are at different rates. Not everyone just knows right off the bat that there was "something different" about themselves. Moreover, it can take a lot of time to get to know yourself, even if you think you know yourself very well. Like I said in my initial comment, gender isn't always easy to figure out. Even so, not every transgender person requires or desires transitioning to consider themselves "transgender". By the same token, not every transgender person will experience gender dysphoria, at least not in the same ways that another transgender individual might. It should be noted that gender is a very, very personal thing.
You can't just blindly attribute rules to something so personal and intimate. That's why I've always kind of discounted the "I knew from a young age" trope because it doesn't necessarily apply to every transgender individual. I'm sorry you've had a bad experience due to who you are. But you're just one case of transgenderism if not gender dysphoria in and of itself. That being said, your case may be very different for another person's. Not just in terms of your gendered experience, but how you learned of your gender identity, the manners in which you've presented or expressed your gender, how you have perceived yourself, what forms of transitioning you've thought to be best (if any), and so on and so forth. There are so, so, so many nuances when it comes to the traditional gender binary alone. Not even considering the possibility of other genders (of which I personally believe exist), you cannot assume one case will match up perfectly to another, whether "cisgender" or "transgender".
There's no "right" or "wrong" way to be transgender or to identify as one thing or another. You define who you are, what you're comfortable identifying as, etc. And this of course goes for all people, whether cisgender or transgender or neither. And that's really all there is to it. There are no inherent rules because it is all relative and socially constructed anyway. And as far as I am aware, the term "transexual" has become severely outdated. Continuing to use it doesn't make your points any stronger.
I'm trans and i'm happy these stories are shared too. Although I believe they are rare, they should be talked about, and in many situations a good psychological assesment by an experienced psychologist in the motivations for transition of the patient are nessecairy, before transition starts. I am happy that I got a good proper psychological assesment before starting T (although it was painfully long, and in my opinion shouldn't take years). She already got her recipe for T after a couple sessions. That is just not right.
I was curious too as to why did she make the decision that was - probably - wrong to start with? It's all hindsight, sure, but she probably has some ideas herself. One thing that stands out is the therapist, who advertised that he could get the hormones quickly, as she mentions. It is like they both decided 'trans!' with no proper analysis-based diagnosis.
It's complicated. Too much gatekeeping keeps people away from HRT. I think people should definitely have some kind of counseling first, not necessarily as a requirement for getting HRT, but because it's such a major change and stress in life. It's really helpful having someone to talk to when all of this is going on. I believe most trans people who elect to medically transition(myself included) know that it's the right thing, know the effects, and know what's reversible and what's not.
Informed consent is the standard that is pushed by the majority of trans rights organisations. Very few trans rights organisations agree with any gatekeeping, no matter how minor.
These psychologists are just profiteering off these people, it's an indu$try.
I agree that it’s very complicated. The thing is, if a psychological assessment wasn’t mandatory she probably wouldn’t have done it. I think a lot of us wouldn’t. And that way you don’t get the chance to screen people like her who do need that screening.
In my country (the Netherlands) it is mandatory, and that also has a lot of problems, mainly that the assessment takes extremely long and shitty psychologists can stop people from transitioning. But we are making a lot of progress and I believe that there is a healthy middle ground; a short but prober assessment that will decrease the amount of cases who detransition.
And I agree that counseling is always a good idea.
Something similar happened to me after I got raped. I shaved my head, started dressing like a guy, became a lesbian and got divorced. Two years later, I embraced my femininity accepted that woman can really be bisexual, and that being a woman is nothing to run away from regardless of our struggles
Beautiful and Brutally honest share, thank you ❤🤗.
Ivy Magaña wow I feel seen. This is exactly my life. 🥺
*Big hug*
I think what you are saying really sums up the whole point of contention with gender reassignment. You were struggling - the girl in the video was struggling MENTALLY. So you needed time to sort things out and then learned how to live with, and rise above, the malevolence of life. It seems to me, if some pro -trans group got a hold of you(at your weakest point) they couldn't wait to start operating.... and if after 2 years you realized it was a mistake all the people who pushed you into reassignment would be nowhere to be found. Where is the compassion in gender reassignment? I see it as capitalizing on the weak... this is an industry and the victims are the confused people they prey upon.
I think trauma is a big part of why alot of people are homosexual. It seems they try to make themselves as unattractive to the sex that hurt them as possible. I feel so deeply sad for the victims of abuse.
She literally looks exactly the same to me.
she didnt go that far with it.
Same
The transition was for her tho.. doesn’t matter if she looks diff or not.
B A S E D SBG SOLDIER I agree. I cannot see a difference except for her hairstyle and hair colour.
I'm calling her bullshit out. if you use testosterone literally the clitoris is mind blowing flight sensitize one touch you get Niagara falls. Plus, to the moment she said she was jealous of someone else transitioning and she stated that at the time transgender transition was the it thing to do. so she did it. I was like nope she a cross dresser or doing drag like rupauls drag race. she didn't talk anyone did a self research and claimed she was trans and consulted one therapist. No second opinion just I'm doing it bam. what are people called who think they have what ever someone has oh yeah. hypochondriac.
that was a bad therapist. they just were doing what the patient wanted not what and not helping them work through their problem.
I would be mortified by therapists who did things their patients didn't want. If anything the problem is the use of psychiatrists for screening transpeople. It's clearly not helping transpeople and certainly isn't useful for people who are looking for hrt and don't need counseling or psychiatric prescriptions. Psychiatrists exist to handout pills to fuck up your brain. They shouldn't be the specialists people go to for hormones. Physicians need to be trained on transgender healthcare. If we had more Physicians who were trained in transgender healthcare, we could cut psychiatrists out of the equation.
@@melloyello6789 A psychiatrist shouldn't be put into a situation in which their office is being used for the work of a physician. They specialized in psychiatry to practice psychiatry. If a physician is not capable of doing a physician's job, that doesn't mean you refer the patient to a quack.
You are mixing up your terms. Whether you agree with what they do or not, psychiatrists are fully-degreed MDs who have graduated medical school and gone on to do full hospital internships in multiple disciplines, and hospital residencies, just as their fellows in other specialities do. That makes them physicians. Psychologists who use "Dr" in front of their name have Ph.Ds or PsyDs. That makes them highly educated professionals who work in the medical field, but they are NOT "physicians." The psychiatrist should have referred her to a psychologist specializing in gender dysphoria and similar issues.
I would never trust a psychologist to assist her. Psychiatrist isn't as bad as a psychologist. Psychiatrists don't typically think Freud was credible. I can't be as certain about psychologists. Psychiatrists aren't just physicians and they aren't in a position to perform primary care. HRT is something a primary care provider would concern themselves with. We're an underserved portion of the population. Our needs can't be easily met by a psychiatrist. MDs and ODs are in positions to be more reliable and more accessible.
I don't know where you get your information about psychologists thinking Freud is "credible." Freud was revolutionary for his time, but his theories are generally considered antiquated by the vast -- VAST -- majority of psychologists. Even psychoanalysts don't follow Freud except as a figurehead.
Additionally, no one said psychiatrists were in a position to provide primary care. They can only make recommendations and refer to an appropriate specialist when a condition falls out of their field of expertise. Gender dysphoria is widely considered to be a condition that has no psychological or psychiatric treatment. Typically a patient will be referred by the psychiatrist or psychologist to someone who specializes in working with such patients, such as an endocrinologist.
I’m a trans man and let me say that I don’t hate her for telling her story. I really hope someone going through what she went through watches this and I hope it’ll give them answers and just that sense of not being alone. Women really go through the worst and I don’t blame her for wanting to just be treated as a real human being. I support her 100% and I think she’s a very brave and inspiring individual. If there’s anyone here in the comments who feels conflicted about transitioning, I’m here if you want to talk.
Did you regret ever in your life ... for a moment
Found Forever, No I have never regretted anything about my transition. When I realized I was trans, everything fell into place real quick. I do live in a culture where women are oppressed, and quite a few of my friends are feeling conflicted about gender. Do you feel conflicted too?
Jesus loves us no matter how we feel or what we choose to do. Does He always agree with it? No. But He is rich in mercy and grace ❤ When you search to know God more, you will then find your true identity ❤ If anyone wants to talk or pray I'm here & I love you but most importantly Jesus loves you 💕
I’m a Christian and I don’t hate her for telling her story either. I don’t hate her for anything. We all have issues. For me the answer is Jesus. He’s willing to be the answer for all of us. He does not anywhere teach is to hate or judge but to love. He teaches us to deal with our own issues before we even think about trying to fix someone else.
@@kekkelpenneypeckeltoot5700 I don't know where people get this idea that Jesus is some love hippy. That was never the idea I had when I was Christian.
Carrie, I'm a Christian and I just want you to know that I love you. You have had negative experiences with Christians and I'm sorry.
My heart hurts that you had such an awful experience in College. I agree with what you about your trauma being behind your decision. I wonder how many other people have the same experience and it's not being addressed.
My concern is not that people transition, it's that they aren't receiving the counseling that they need prior to making that decision. I have a personal friend who lost both parents in his early 20s, and lost them both in less than a year. He suffered from depression and anxiety. He came out as gay after his divorce to his wife. Then he decided he was trans. Then he told me he received counseling from another Psychologist b/c his depression hadn't gone away and he decided that he wasn't trans.
This is a very kind man who I saw struggling and not receiving the mental support that he needed. Thank goodness for him that he didn't have the surgery, just the hormones; b/c it would have been so much harder to de-transition and try to reverse the surgery, if it can even be done.
I'm not trying to be hateful or unloving to anyone; I just feel that people are getting the body dysmorphia diagnosis too soon and without adequate counseling. I went through a divorce and was raising my 2 children by myself and I had counseling for over 5 yrs; how can people have life altering surgery without getting adequate therapy, which I think should last at least 2-3 yrs.
Then, after adequate counseling, decide whether they want the surgery or not.
I'm an RN and worked in Labor and Delivery and our Obstetrician's wouldn't even perform a tubal ligation (getting your tubes "tied" to be sterilized) on a person under a certain age (usually close to 30 y.o.) and dependent upon how many children you have had. And that surgery is for sterilization, and they want to make sure that the patient makes an informed decision. That sort of surgery can be undone although there is no guarantee about the success of the reversal. They say it is such a "final" decision, and of course if they won't tie their tubes, the person can still use birthcontrol to stop unwanted pregnancies. My point is that a tubal ligation is not "life altering" surgery in the same way that Sex Reassignment is, and still they don't rush into it.
I know that much of what you are saying goes against the whole "transgender" movement, but people really need Psychological support to make such a huge life change and I don't think, from what I have seen, that people are really getting it. I think you are very brave to come and out speak about your trauma in College and your time living as a transgender person and I wish you well
this is honestly one of the coolest comments I've ever read
yeah you have the reasons
You are so brave; I want to say that you are loved.
@@cath.lamontagne5357 thanks I really apreciate that I will suscribe to your channel now be brave yeahh
At least I never do the surgery okay
Sorry to hear that she regretted her transition, but at the same time I'm glad it helped her learn her relationship with her body, her trauma and her life. No ones path is easy and hindsight is 20/20. Her strength is inspiring as hell and helps me feel more critical but secure in analyzing my gender identity and going forward with my transition. People will try to warp her words but her message is VERY IMPORTANT to be heard.
This popped in my feed and I’m glad I watched the video. I’d heard of detransitioning before but listening to Carey tell her story gave me a much deeper understanding of the situation.
I agree. I didn't realize detransition was such a large topic. But now i know, and i don't understand why people are so judgemental.
This is such an important topic. When I was 17, in my final year of high school, I was introduced to the world of Non-Binary trans people, and I felt as if I had finally found my people. I cut off all my hair, started binding my chest, and only wore masculine/androgynous clothing. Though I never took any medical steps toward transitioning, I came out as Non-Binary to all my friends and family and to my teachers at school. At first I felt relieved and like I finally fit in, but I found that my anxiety and depression only worsened. I don't remember a lot of that year, as I was so deep into a dark place that my brain has somehow blocked a lot of it out. What I do remember is that it took me that whole year to realise that obviously I hated my body, but not because I was born in the "wrong body" as a lot of Transgender people feel, but because my body had been violated at a young age which made me feel my body was disgusting and that it didn't belong to me anymore, or at least I didn't want it to. After I graduated high school I started seeking help and began to embrace my femininity again. It's been about 2 years since I decided I wasn't non-binary, but because 70% of the friends I have are in the LGBT community I felt too ashamed to tell everyone that I was wrong (because I feared they would turn against me as Carey has experienced). So although I know identify as a woman, most of my friends (mostly online) still use neutral pronouns and use my androgynous name. And honestly it doesn't help being a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with a man, because that already has so many problems related to being invalidated in the community. Hopefully one day I'll have the courage to really open up about my story like Carey has. Thank you for sharing your story
So sad. Forgive me but some of this stuff functions exactly like a cult. The way you can't just be yourself and go with your own flow without paying a heavy social price. Cults are always really into terminology, too. Labels.
You were sexually assaulted as a child I gather? I was as well....there is a lot I don't understand about the gender issues in America, would you mind if I asked you about it?...
Good on you for seeking help instead of hacking at your body. Trans have such a high rate of suicide so its obvious that transitioning doesnt help in the long run.
Your story needs to be told. So many girls are experiencing this and afraid to be girls.
Red Le Clerc I feel your pain. When I was younger I was raped. After that I never was the same. I hated my body. As I got older I wanted to be a male. But now that I think about it I was very depressed. I had a very messed up family growing up. Mostly all males in my family. I always thought of myself as lower because I was a female. That's how my family made me feel. Some how me thinking of becoming a male would free me. But honest I was just trapped in a abusive family. I'm still bisexual but a lot of my friends and family feel uncomfortable with my story. You should tell yours. I would love to hear how somebody felt the same why as I did. I subscribed to your channel.
Christians don’t have a problem with you. We’re happy for you.
Exactly !
we pray that a lot of trans people meet God and find their real identity in Christ no confussion in God
Heather Murray Penis worship is part of the problem. Thanks.
Weird Sisters ok...?
@@artofscripture5320 I don’t believe In god and I’m not changing myself and forcing myself to believe I’m a girl again for some god. This is who I am, a trans man
Happy as long as they are not trans, right?
Dysphoric female here.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this. Thank you for sharing.
This is so important.
Simone Auclert that's what most "trans" people have
There are different types of dysphoria. Body dysphoria is the kind linked to eating disorders, in which people have strong negative feelings and reactions to their body or parts of it, but do NOT feel that they are the wrong gender. Gender dysphoria is what trans people have. It makes sense that some people might confuse the two, especially if they've been raped or assaulted and feel they'd be safer as a person of a different gender. It's obviously irrational, but no one makes rational decisions if they're still haunted by their pasts.
people with those eating disorders have body dysmorphia, not dysphoria.
Cis women can’t have gender dysphoria btw. Gender dysphoria is caused by your brain being MALE, therefore any girl who has genderdysphoria has a male brain and they’re trans
body dysMORPHIA has absolutely nothing to do with gender dysphoria. christ on a bike.
Regret is not a dirty word. You can say it and feel it. You're not negative. I'm a Christian and don't judge.
@@milkandhoney9849 That's your opinion.
Absolutely!!!
I think transition/hormone treatment is taken too lightly these days
Especially in some so called "progressive countries " .... But this is not really progress . Porters is finding cute for cancer , making sure no child will die of leukemia one day , this is what progress should be . Not telling men that they can magically become women and vice versa . That's not progress , that's just a big business where a lot of people feed from .
Seriously they act like it’s as easy as getting a tattoo or piercing. It certainly is NOT!
Most definitely
Most certainly.
I know it can feel like that but in many places getting a prescription for hormone replacement therapy is actually a lot more difficult than it should be. I'm sure there are cases, like this one, in which the opposite happens, but they are very rare and definitely a minority.
This sounds so much like my story - except - I never transitioned. Born a woman (tomboy), still a woman - but the trauma, the assaults by men, are too common. My answer was to get into the martial arts, which stabilised my fears and gave me a sense of power in a situation. I also "dressed down" all my life to hide the fact that there was a pretty girl underneath all that. But yeah. I'm thankful that nobody tried to transition me for "not liking my body" or my "femaleness" or being afraid of male assault.
SO MUCH rings true: "I met a trans guy, was so jealous because he got a mastectomy" (top surgery) I was also jealous because of the T juice - energizing, life enhancing stuff (but I didn't want the hair, nor to deepen my already deep voice). To see someone on T therapy - it's like more powerful than any antidepressant!
But yeah, I've seen the "dark side" of maleness. And I am thankful that I never got it in my head to transition! I don't think I could go so far as to say *nobody* should use medicine to transition - but I have been otherwise iatrogenically damaged - and I believe that everything should be exhausted first before performing procedures which may be irreversible. I've had surgeries that I regret - the long term effect of these things is not widely explicit in the medical community. The surgeries were success (but the long term effect of living without organs is more challenging, and they don't talk about that). I also have concerns about long term use of hormones...so - I'm not saying nobody should do it. But I believe that the ones that do should be really really certain that this is the only answer for them. And I am shocked at how easy it is to convince doctors, therapists, clinics, etc., that this should be done. $$,$$$
Agreed...and should also only be done by adults who can make their own decision!!
A trans group came to my daughter's school when she was five. They also convinced DCFS to remove children who's parents wouldn't use pronouns or support surgery and drug treatment. Researching their yearly event in Seattle all the sponsors of that event are either gender clinics, surgeons, doctors, or others who benefit monetarily from this industry.
What’s hard about that is some people still live in small towns where people are horrible, and are in fear. That’s where my ex and I lived during his transition. Not the one he grew up in, because that would never work, but somewhere he was employed in his trade. I think the rate of the procedure should be somewhat individual.
Im gay and take T cuz I have low testosterone levels. When i got my blood test done my doctor said I have a testosterone level equivalent to a 92 year old male. It really works for that purpose and does have antidepressant affects, but it must be harder for trans men to take it. I’ve heard a lot of negative things in the news about trans rights, but there are good trans people out there that are struggling like her. Not all of them are like her, but I have sympathy cuz she’s been through so much crap. I can tell she’s really intelligent as well and knows her stuff. I hope she’s finds her place in the world 🤙🏼
She has a lovely kind face.
Had
@@Pablo123456x She still has a lovely and kind face.
@@Pablo123456x HAS
@@Pablo123456x *has*
She put herself in a state of limbo, and people are attacking her for it. This is what's wrong with human beings, we cannot agree to disagree on certain topics.
Way to generalize an entire species. You are the problem you are talking about.
She should be a writer. She has a story to tell. Very compelling.
C Mickie she is
Never know, this could all be a scam so she can get a book and movie deal.
I used to work at a residential treatment center for troubled teen girls. What was interesting is that all these girls had various issues and triggers such as drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and even a few of them identified as boys. Almost all of these girls self harmed, and were suicidal 😢 the one thing that almost all of these people had in common was that they had all been sexually abused as kids or sexually assaulted as young teenagers. There’s something to be said about sexual assault
this isn't a trans problem, it's a female problem. i'm going through the same thing rn, frustration and anger at my body because of what comes with it. it's a pain. i questioned if i was trans once too, and im guessing that's the reason why so many detransitoned people are cis female.
I hate when people always blame detransition people. They didn’t want to end up in the situation they are in, regretting their decision to transition with permanent effects. Most of the time it’s because of something like this, or mixing up dismorphia with disphoria. It isn’t their fault and should get to inform others. They are no less valid and they are not a debate.
Amy Cavaliere Absolutely! As a trans guy, ensuring I was not one of these people was critical, it took months of careful consideration and ruling everything out to be totally sure. It is crucial that people like this are given the care and supported need so that hey don't make irreversible decisions that aren't in their best interests. Helping these people is in everyone's best interest. I appreciate you not lumping all trans people in with detransitioners and their experiences. Just thought I'd pipe in and support a well-written, considered comment :)
This woman's story, and the story of people like her isn't "proof people shouldnt be allowed to transition". It's simply proof that everyone is different, they have their own issues and while transitioning may work for some, it doesn't work for others, and no matter what, they need support as they figure out what is right for them.
TiBun This exactly!
True. Also transition needs to be seen as less of a pivotal one way street. Hormones shouldn't be seen as a cliff you're jumping off but a stepping stone that might or might not help you towards your goal of being more comfortable being you. And if it turns out that that's not the right path then there should be no shame in backtracking and trying something else. But instead this idea of transition from one clear thing to another clear thing gets in the way
Thank you!! you win the award for the most logical comment of the year award!!
I get sick of people on both sides of the isle saying "Yes you MUST transition" or "NO you should NEVER transition!"
I would like to note that she hasn't said anything remotely invalidating trans people throughout the course of the video. She's just making a video recognizing that she was not actually trans and just had mental health issues that she had to work on. Carey is not "proof" that all trans people are invalid. She's just trying to tell her story and anyone trying to twist this into "SEE!! I TOLD YOU TRANS PEOPLE ARE BAD!!" is completely misunderstanding the point of the video.
Leo J that's exactly right: everyone's pouncing on this, saying it proves that transitioning is wrong.
They are missing the point entirely.
This is a case of someone who wasn't trans but transitioned due to other reasons. This is why therapy is often really helpful. Helps you sort through identity feelings versus feelings of society and trauma and stuff.
I think there's some issues going on here with this person that goes way beyond gender identity....it seems like she needs a lot of help. I'm glad she's telling her story because it needs to be told but in the same breath, there's something bigger going on here with her other than just gender identity.
MenR TheProblem what a nice not sexist username
This isn't the 80's. Homosexuals are so accepted that they are celebrated and if anyone disagrees with their lifestyle, the rest of society attacks them. People who don't agree with homosexuality are the ones not accepted by society. People lose jobs over "homophobia" every day. Are you kidding me? A restaurant or bakery has to deal with angry mobs of people and online harassment for holding that view. Do you live in Saudi Arabia or something?
Yes, online and in liberal cities (most large ones) homosexuality is accepted. That doesn't mean that people don't struggle with their identity (I know I did, despite coming from an accepting home) and that certainly doesn't mean that people from more rural/conservative areas are doing alright. There are countless accounts online of homophobia that young people have faced, and its incredibly naive to think that just because mainstream media is pro-LGBT, that all of the population is too. In the latest season of RuPauls Drag Race, a 30-year-old opened up about his parents sending him to a literal exorcist to get rid of his sexuality. Next step was conversion therapy, until he ran away.
Nay Nay there are more homophobes and transphobic people in the world than accepting people. The whole world isn't New York City, LA and London.
Yeah, she tells us in the video. It's trauma. She's an assault survivor. She wanted to protect herself and didn't feel safe in her own body, so she thought she was trans. It had to do with her gender, but not her gender identity per se. Look up dissociation and it'll make more sense.
That man should be sued. That is in a sense illegal. He didn’t have permission to use her in his book.
Fair use.
Publicizing your life on TH-cam or online is fair game. That's why you shouldn't put your business out on social media.
@@vbin9081 indeed. Everything we post online is not our own anymore.
Regarding quotes, as long as they credit and reference where the got the quotes from and quote them correctly, it isn’t against the law. It’s sad that she felt violated for sure though.
He used quotes
"it's a weird and dark thing to learn about the world"
The bottom line is she didnt have gender dysphoria, which u need to be trans. She mistook body dysmorphia for gender dysphoria, which some people sadly end up doing.
The reason people don't like you for 'just stating facts' is that you're taking a tiny minority of cases and using it as a justification to prevent all people from accessing healthcare they may very well need. You are attributing way too much agency to the "LGBT community"- if we really had that much political pull it wouldn't have taken so fucking long to get gay marriage or intersex people's rights to bodily autonomy in a tiny handful of states.
What political pull? Most of us can barely be taken seriously at the doctor's office, let alone in Congress. I can count LGBT representatives on my fingers and they spend most of their time focusing on 'general' issues, unlike straight ones who really want to legislate what's in our pants. If we really had that much pull, I wouldn't have been ruined by doctors who saw my androgynous body and like really fucking wanted a straight boy.
Your free speech isn't being violated when people call you an asshole for being an asshole, but our speech often is violated and treated as a joke. One of the fastest ways to get censored is to be a minority with a platform, LGBT included if you haven't been paying attention to who TH-cam has been booting from the platform other than angry red bois.
Night Mare, You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
Night Mare thanks soo much this is what I have been saying for the longest people keep attacking me for it and I try to say in the nicest way I can
Night Mare they impact you? in what way? because what you said after has nothing to do with you. you clearly have some kind of problem against the LGBTQ+ community, you don’t have to make things up like “tHeY iMpAcT mE”
“The worst thing that happened to me is intensely funny to some guys” too real
"Dark humor also functions as a way people create camaraderie, as you are telling the joke with a sense of trust in those around you to understand and be in on the joke", you say - but doesn't it just inspire a sense of trust in people that don't take issues like this seriously that you understand them (and also don't take it seriously)? There's a reason women don't tend to make rape jokes, bub.
Rey O'Rourke Broke my heart to hear that.... I've had to learn the exact same thing the hard way. I hate to think I haven't been the only one.
And as far as not taking things personally.... It's really not like that at all. It's about the subject being brought up and reliving those awful emotions. That feeling of wanting to die, that feeling that you will never be a clean, whole person again, that feeling that you would kill anyone who ever tried to touch you intimately again, the feeling of the most deep humiliation and shame. To process feeling all of those things in an instant and then immediately after to hear laughter is a sickening experience. How could I ever want to open up to those people about that experience? It creates a lack of trust in that area. It just makes you want to be away from the kind of people that would joke about that kind of thing. And well said, there really is a reason girls never make rape jokes. And the ones that do have something wrong with them.
Very real and not surprised either.
Its not funny to me but rather has been disturbing to learn that it is real. but hey knowing is half the battle. Every one is unique. Trust fully... to a point. Come at me and I will stab you in the eye. Metaphorically.... to a point.
Don’t know what kind of guys you were hanging out with that thought sexual abuse was hilarious?!? WTF 🤦♂️
Thank goodness there are guys who get that it isn't funny. Nothing about it is funny whether it happens to a male or female.
I'm brasilian and many songs here normalise sexual abuse it's scary
@@marcosantos3381 pois e man e o povo gosta
The MAJORITY of men do think that sexual abuse is funny.
The gay community.
I appreciate that she is brave enough to share her story
I hate dresses and skirts. I resented being a girl, I was jealous of my brother, but I got over that. When I got old enough to wear what I wanted, I was so much happier.
achanwahn You just described me I was the same way .
I’m a huge LGBTQ advocate and this is the actual first time I’ve heard of detransitioning. It’s not something I thought of out of the realm of possibility, I just never heard of anyone claiming it. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m furious that you have gone through all this shaming after all this trauma. I’m also furious that your therapist rushed you to transition rather than recognize the trauma from sexual assault. That therapist failed on her part.
Regardless, I wish you best on your journeys moving forward. Stay strong!
I second that, I'm a trans guy and am frustrated by how some trans people attack those who at one time identified as trans and decide to detransition (socially, medically, etc). Like, let people figure out what makes them feel right. I get that there are people out there who are using her (Carey's) story as "evidence" that trans people are all just mentally ill. I really get that, and it sucks. But at the same time, we, as a community, cannot shame someone into silence for speaking their truth. Yes, the vast majority of people who medically transition don't regret doing so, and trans people should have access to that life-affirming care. But we need to also acknowledge and support people who detransition.
Bloo95 I mean it happens a lot but the media doesn’t really show it
This is proof that people will judge no matter what. Don't change for people.
Very thoughtful and well told.
But nothing compared to the propaganda that ugly British peddle...😂
am no a grass
you are fake news
BBC Stories, let me just say I greatly admire and appreciate your standard of journalism in not just your own country but around the world. And am really glad that the Atlantic pinned your comment, so I could tell you this. Keep up the good work. That goes for the Atlantic as well
BBC Stories BBC Stories why do I have to pay for you to comment on vidioes?
Nice comment, but you are getting payed to sit and do that. The only justification is better international relations, but it's a Atlantic story about a trans case so very irelivent to national or international relations for me to pay you.
Dear BBC employe would you be ok if we had a talk it will be civle I promise.
And if you don't want to go in to all the racist policys against natives Britons who we all should be supporting since this is there land we're on. But I digress hopefully your open to a talk
I’ve been subscribed to her TH-cam channel for a long time, seeing this pop up in my recommended was so strange (but cool). As a trans man, it is incredibly interesting to hear about her thoughts and point of view.
Lol are you following me? Haha we're watching the same videos Kovu haha
Kovu's following me too
Please give me a link to her TH-cam channel / it’s name.
Thank you
Sarah Lunafire I don't have it but I'm sure if you just Google "Insert her name TH-cam" you'll easily find it
Sarah Lunafire it’s just her name (Carey Callahan) :)
Private schools, whether religious or not, should allow girls to wear pants. We all know that some minds go perverted as soon as men see those school-girl skirts!!😒😒
Everyone should just wear baggy Ghostbuster Jumpsuits at school...nothing masculine or feminine about that at all..and puts everyone on the same page,
They do... it’s just that not many girls choose to wear the shorts or pants. So if you want to wear pants, you might be dissuaded from doing so due to fear of feeling like you don’t fit in
When I went to private school, I begged my mom to buy me the boys uniform, and she did. They don’t BAN it, it’s just not common. I was perfectly fine and teachers didn’t yell at me for it. Though I was like, 6.
Lisa Jordan Catholic schools allow girls to wear khaki pants, and shorts in the begging girls and end of the school year.
And girls. I know plenty that would be all over it. One of them being an ex.
"the worst thing that happened to me is intensely funny to some guys" yeah same
Don't cry about it. People made jokes about my weight many times and i just don't care. Men are pretty much made jokes about anything. You have a wierd name, you are skinny, you are fat, you arent bright, you are too bright, married or single and so on, men are usually tease you with it. Especially if you are with your friends. We do it constantly with our friends and some men doing it with strangers as well, usually when they are in group. Woman and trans man cannot understand or tolerate this because inside of their changed bodies, they are still woman who knows little about how to be a man.
I remember when I was 10 I was extremely annoyed because people kept saying I should be more girly, I should wear dresses and skirts, I should let my hair grow longer, I should spend more time with the girls and not with the boys... At 11 I got my period and with it came boobs. I started getting undesired attention and the boys started treating me differently and I hated it. My best friend, who happened to be a boy, couldn't stop trying to peek under my dress the only time I wore one and I felt hurt and ashamed but I didn't tell anyone. I thought "I wish I was a boy". A few times random boys or men groped me in the street. At 14 I had a group of girls bullying me and forcefully groping my boobs to try to figure out if they were real. It's easy, especially when you're young, to blame your body and look at the greener grass on the other side. Of course the other side has other problems as well. The problem is not the combination of genes we are born with. It's the cruel society we live in. We don't need plastic surgery, hormone treatments or any kind of modification. We need to be surrounded by loving, open minded and respectful people.
So true! I just love people and if you’re around me it’s a judgement free zone, I don’t let anyone talk bad about someone (even if they’re not there) when they’re around me. I try to smile and make people laugh too :). I sometimes feel like people think I’m being fake but, you know what I really just want people to be happy and it’s better to show that.
Cheila Ferreira agreed.. the starting part is so relatable though in my case it is more of a hate of stereotypes.. i don’t feel female or male yet i was born female.. i have been forcefed the girly thing and be ladylike shit all of my life and have always rebelled against it.. i was that kid who would not get what i wanted at the toy store cuz my mother wanted me to be a girly girl and for me to pick a doll instead of an action figure or one of those transformer cars.. wich i would always walk over to whenever i was in the store.. if i had picked what i liked my mum would just bring it back and instead give me some barbie doll or say but isn’t this more fun.. and i couldn’t do anything about it because i would not get what i wanted.. though i would still throw a tantrum most of the times or just lie down telling her i wouldn’t walk untill i got what i wanted instead of what she wanted.. a few years ago on vacation queue my stephmother someone who only cares for the stereotype shit.. literally telling me that i should walk more like a lady.. like who cares how i walk ? I certainly don’t saying something like that to my face is the worst thing anyone can do.. compare me to a stereotype and i’ll compare your face to the sidewalk.. even now i feel more comfortable talking to guys than girls even if i am straight.. whenever guys talk it is usually about cars or some videogame that i happen to play too at least the guys i hang out with..with girls it inevitably always ends up going about relationships or some other thing i have 0 knowledge of.. so i end up just sitting there like a guy would not really getting most of what they are saying.. so basically i am just the most awkward being on this planet.. that doesn’t even really feel human..
RIGHT?! And if a man is quiet around girl talk that is totally normal, but if a woman is too quiet then you're just a big weirdo! Luckily I ended up in the video games industry, were there aren't many girls and they tend to be geeky as well. Artists get away with being weird more easily :)
That stepmother story reminds me of an ex-boyfriend's mom who insisted on putting makeup on me! The shit we put up with when we're young... People think kids and young people must be molded into their stereotypical ideals... These days I'm a lot more like confident about who I am and I rarely get challenged. But I do make an effort to be more feminine, otherwise It's very difficult to be in a relationship because guys are raised with this stereotypical girly girl as their goal as well... Life is complicated -___-
I totally agree with you!
Cheila Ferreira PREACHHHHH
I've been following Carey Callahan for a little over a year and I'm so beyond happy to see she's getting some exposure! Her story is really helpful for other detransitioners, myself included.
I hope you are happy and healthy. Any type of chronic dysphoria or PTSD sucks. Talking about detransitioning and regret is just as important as talking about transitioning and satisfaction.
Life isn't perfect but I don't think that's unique to me. Ultimately I realized that my desire to transition, much the same as her's, stemmed from PTSD and dissociation from my body. I have my coping mechanisms, and I can absolutely say life is better now than it was prior to or during transition.
I just want to hug her and tell her she’s beautiful just the way she is. It wouldn’t solve all her problems but I feel so few people react that way to her.
Brad Weisman i agree.. Everybody deserves to love themselves unconditionally
From Australia, all i can say is, you are wonderful. Recently went to a talk by Dr Anderson, rather disappointed there wasn't the chance to ask questions of people's experiences and the science and psychology. Too much emphasis on Religious aspects. Hope all the mundane things in life are Ok? Job, Home etc?
Jeez wait to make her sound pitiful
Carey Callahan im really happy for you
When smart people go through this, and then tell their stories in videos like this, it’s the only way forward. I love this human, & I’m grateful she put this together. Thank you so much for sharing your story🙏🙏🙏✌🏼
Really appreciate this. We shouldn’t only hear expedient stories or those that fit into our narrow understanding of the world. I feel like I can see a new shade in the various experiences of those with gender dysphoria. And what an articulate woman!
Frieda Vizel yes! People need to see the full picture
You know what triggers me the most about this article? A plaid skirt is not a kilt.
Yeah only men wear kilts
My thoughts exactly
TheTreePunchee Eh no. Women can wear kilts too. There’s men and women’s kilts as women’s are normally for dancing and men’s for formal wear so the look a bit different (women’s shorter) but still the same thing.
l m a o thank you
I went to private school and never once thought my uniform was a kilt...I also never hated the fact that I was privileged enough to have to wear a uniform, while public school kids get bullied for the clothes they wear... uniforms made us all equal and less distracting in class.
Yeah, it sounds like she never hated her body but what was assigned by society around her body. I'm actually a trans guy and for me I have disphoria revolving around my body and the parts I have. There are days where it's little and I just feel uncomfortable and then there are days I feel sick because of how much I can't stand having female parts when it feels like I shouldn't. Even when I thought I was a girl I always wanted a flat chest and small hips and when my body did the opposite during puberty I got depressed without understanding why. And then one day I decided to chop my hair off and somehow just having short, masculine hair helped a bit and over a couple more years I discovered that I'm transgenger.
I agree 100%. I am a transwoman and it doesn't sound like she had dysphoria for her body. Society sucks.
Retweet
Yep. I too am a trans man and I want to fuckin rip my boobs off sometimes. Intense body dysphoria that leads to depressive episodes. I hate it. I'm pre transition and 100% know I would never regret.
Nyabby nya both of these stories match perfectly with mine
THE_NATE_PROJECT nothing is “assigned by society”. You’re either male or female and born that way. It cannot he changed.
Seems alot of groups have an opinion about her and give her grief. It's about you and your happiness Carey, not what others think. Much respect.
At least she’s now being honest with herself and everyone else.
wait does that mean I am telling myself a lie when I see a trans person?
I don't think she was *ever* being "dishonest"; she simply did not have the tools in that particular period of her life to get to the root of the problem. Lots of people do have legitimate gender disphoria, and deserve access to treatment (cosmetic and mental), but it should absolutely take more than a couple sessions to decide when surgical intervention is useful. Her therapist had their own agenda, it seems, rather than any true interest in helping her get to where she NEEDED mentally. There are far too many crackpot therapists out there, and a large portion of the good ones charge too much for the average person in crisis to have access to.
It's not so much that the therapist has an agenda as it is that the medical community has moved away from the "gatekeeper" past to the informed consent model. Essentially, that a fully grown adult patient that exhibits the symptoms, and professes those feelings receives the treatment. It's a short-cut, basically. Never attribute to an agenda what can be explained by people trying for quick fixes.
I think it's a mistake to say there's a specific number of sessions that are needed. Some patients actually don't need that many. It is however, incumbent on the therapists to suss out other potential issues. Imagine how much pain and frustration this woman could have been spared if her therapist had found out about her assault and helped her work through that first?
Tom Martell Whatever the reason, wouldn't chosing short cuts over actually taking the time to get to know and evaluate a person, *be* an agenda?
‹depression autopilot› In a loose sense of the word, yes, I suppose so. You'll forgive me, considering the topic at hand, for assuming that you meant "political agenda" specifically.
This is one of the reasons I don’t support transitioning at a whim or at too young of an age. Because the process of altering your natural body with hormones, blockers, surgery, etc should only be done once and reversing it seems like you’ll never be the way you were before you started to me
asseater007 yeah I am still glad that my parents didn't let me transition lol
Same reason I'm extremely against gender clinics in Canada and USA handing out hormones to young people without even needing letters of therapists. So many people want to transition although it's just a phase *cough* non binary *cough*
I transitioned female from male 3 years ago. Out of a sense of loniness associated with with being an mtf transwoman I gave up my transition and decided to live as a man again. The problem is now is that I'm even lonier and have to deal with the psuedo female personality that constantly reminds me I should have never given up the transition.
Josh Drewes be who you want! I wish you clarity. Best of luck for the future! xx
thanks for that personal story. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling to reconcile your identity. I wonder if there was a lack of external support that may have played a hand in your struggle? You talk about the loneliness so i'm assuming you didn't have many friends/family supporting you through your journey? Is there any reason why you couldn't proceed again with transitioning? I hope you can find your way to a path that will allow you peace of mind. Ps - You're a great musician!
You look like you are so naturally a woman, so pretty and relaxed in your skin . I hope finally that this is the case.
I hope now some of the people who abuse her HEAR her story and get WHY she did it. I was as a teen praying everyday to be a boy. Not because i was trans or gay BUT BECAUSE i would no longer be attractive to predators.
Sad times!
I'm sorry to hear that about your life😢. Did you seek therapy to come to terms with the issues you've had?
Same. Dressing like a boy and having short hair was my child self's way of making myself unattractive, which meant in my child self's mind that there's less of a threat and feeling safer. It didn't mean I was trans. Being female or male isn't defined by what someone wears, how short your hair is or what your interests are.
I felt that
I think she looks pretty and attractive still.
doub whopper me too
I hate that someone who already has gone through tons of trauma has to continue to suffer trauma because of being used as a political symbol. Fellow human beings, the fact that diagnosis can be wrong sometimes doesn't mean that the diagnosis can never be right. And we shouldn't punish people because their doctor got something wrong.
This is why i think people should get therapy before calling themself "trans" and going through a whole procedure just off a whim when there could be so much more going on than just "i feel like I'm the wrong gender" i think therapists need to take this matter more serious than just saying "oh your trans just take some hormones" like that is a life altering decision it shouldn't be made so hastily
Jean Valjean it's most likely because she's an adult that they didn't care that much (which is ridiculous) but most people who are genuinely trans do go to therapy and actually have to before hormones and surgery of any kind
You literally have to get your transition approved by a therapist
Kate yea ok but if they are just letting people transition without any actual therapy like her, then there's a problem
Jean Valjean the real problem is that when she started to transition the rules were probably wayyyy more lenient because Im a trans guy and I had to go through about 3 years of therapy before I could start hormones and trust me its not easy to transition nowadays
Adam Heredia thats more reassuring thanks i didn't know
I'm very happy with who I am overall, and experience very little dysphoria and psychological stress about my gender identify. I'm transgender and started transitioning in my early twenties. While this video ruffles my feathers because I know her story can be used by some to disqualify trans people, everyone must do what is best for them and be true to themselves. If she felt she wasn't really trans, then I'm glad she figured it out sooner than later. She seems like she has had a lot of trauma, hope she is able to overcome the impact that's had on her life.
I'm a Christian and I have no problem with you. Jesus loves you. I pray you start seeing yourself as God sees you, His precious child, also.. you're gorgeous 😀
Ditto and AMEN!!
Why would your religion have anything against trans people? Does the bible say anything about transitioning? I know it has verses opposing homosexual acts (not homosexuality itself), tho.
God will find her a man, to settle down with and be happy. Love can heal anything, regardless of you circumstances and pain. Love is not fire but water, when you need comfort it is automatically there for you instead of destroying everything you always dreamed off. It takes bigger women in heart, to finally be happy with they Mr right and not let anybody take that off them regardless what those anybody say through jealousy, doubt, wickedness, stubbornness and hatred. That is true love, she will be safe and happy one day soon l feel because l trust in God she will.
The Bible might not say anything specifically about transitioning, but if God wanted her to be a man he would have made her that way. God doesn't make mistakes. This woman was beautifully and wonderfully made by God.
I'm a Christian. I have no problem with you. May you find your true value in Christ. He loves you.
So I feel bad for this girl. She must’ve gotten a therapist who didn’t realize that her main issue is trauma after sexual abuse. The therapist shouldn’t have jumped to fill in the papers. Then again it sounds like that therapist just fills in papers no matter what if someone pays them.
God bless you, Carey. I have so much respect for folks that can use their difficult life stories and/or situations to help others. 🙏
Diane Chesebrough BEST COMMENT ON THIS THREAD.
Amen to that
@@brendaschwieterman1350 Thank you! It’s heartfelt 😊
Detransitioning is a taboo topic in the trans world because some people see it as delegitimizing the trans community. But the people who detransition were never trans to begin with! This topic needs to be discussed in a respectful way and not be used to delegitimize the trans community.
Stop pulling up the idea that those who detransitioned were never trans to begin with.
That's the no true scotsman fallacy.
@@arnowisp6244 no, it's true, they never really were trans. otherwise they wouldn't regret TRANSitioning. seriously people, it's not rocket science!
@@antisocialartist9944 I mean, most of them did and still do have gender dysphoria. They just realized that for them, transitioning wasn't going to cure their dysphoria. I'm not detrans but please, let's not minimize what detrans people have been or are going through.
This is very true. We have to talk about detransitioning. I’m not transgender so I have absolutely no clue what goes on within someone who transitions or who do detransition.
Carey, I'm sending you positive and loving thoughts. Thank you for sharing your personal story, I'm so very sorry it's become politicized.
"sending you positive and loving thoughts" lol what are you, a superhero or something?
yes.
Don't live to please others.
yehet yep.
This story hit me deep. From the time I was little, I was consistently told that I was bad at being a girl. Countless were the times I was mistaken for a boy, and I remember one particularly hurtful incident where I decided to wear a bikini at a pool and was laughed at because the patrons thought I was a boy in women's clothes (how weird that I was inadvertently subjected to transphobia at the age of twelve?) and I still remember the pain of looking at myself in the mirror trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Even recently, while on a retreat meant for healing actors (yeah, I do theatre) I was told by a guy I had a crush on that I would only play "freak" roles and a fellow woman that I had a masculine face. These constant barbs haunt me everywhere I go. My insecurities recently ruined a performance of mine because the character was supposed to be coquettish (Columbina if anyone is familiar with Commedia) and I convinced myself (with the help of outside "encouragement") that I couldn't do it justice.
I live right on the midline of gender expression without meaning to and as thus have to reach to fit in society's different boxes. Recently my demons have driven me to a complete, hermetic standstill. I don't go outside. When I have to, I duck my face. I've bought a ticket to Europe so I can travel a bit this summer and be a person unto herself, and by being alone forget the person I have become. I don't like "me" in relation to other people and doubt I ever will. Oddly enough, the queer community has been my closest home away from home, even though I am dubious as to whether I am truly queer myself, or if I just look it on the outside purely because my natural gender expression is different.
So in short, I understand the wish to transition just to make life easier, but have to remind myself that in regards to cis men, "tricking the system" (as the most rancid and hurtful people in our society might think trans people are doing) is a worse "crime" than playing but failing. Unfortunately, the only viable solution I see to my dysphoria is keeping to myself to protect my heart. To all the dysphoric, trans, and queer people out there living their lives unabashedly and in the face of discrimination and danger, I am in awe of you. It's easy to fight for others, but fighting for yourself is so much harder and you do it with so much grace. Maybe someday I'll build a little of that self preserving strength for myself, too.
Hey, so not to trivialize your experience, but I just wanted to say if that's you in the video on your channel, trust me you don't look like a man. You have the sort of natural aesthetic that was popular during the 90s and early 2000s. You kinda resemble January Jones. She has a bit of masculinity to her features but it works for her and she owns it. TBH, I think women's faces are actually more androgynous and boyish than people want to admit. You have a perfectly normal female face, but western culture has made the world obsessed with this fantasy of an exaggerated contrast between male and female. It's just fantasy.
I hope you're well. Don't be afraid to show your face outside(once covid goes away). It's all about mindset.
Go for it! Don't spend your life being unhappy. And dont spend your life not liking YOU! This us your life..make it work for you, you've got to find a way to harness your sense of control. And dont be afraid of what other people think. ..a suprising amount of folks have never had an original thought .
Sorry that this happened to you
You are loved just as you are or however you choose to be.
@@teragram8006 thank you so much to everyone that commented on this! Can’t believe I just stumbled upon it a year later. I feel embarrassed 😳 I’m doing better, still struggling through a lot. I’m probably at most non-binary and at least androgynous, but COVID hasn’t been great for my journey of self discovery because I can’t get in touch with many real people. Probably one of my biggest problems was the old “friends” in my corner. The acting world (especially theatre, sadly, despite its queer history) is steeped in heteronormativity and it got too much for me. I just never fit there, and if I act again, it definitely won’t be in those circles. It was also tough going through 4 years of college theatre to find my “brand”, only to discover that my real brand was totally unpalatable to popular theatre going audiences. Right before COVID I met people who respected me for who I was, and instead of the regular shit I get (“you look like a stylish dike” :/ thanks shithead, didn’t ask you to conflate my gender expression and sexuality) they actually encouraged me to be my most authentic self. It is AMAZING what a good friend group can do. Thanks for wondering about me, everyone, it’s rare that people on the internet are actually nicer than in real life.
Unaddressed trauma can really cause one to do alot of harm to themselves. I really love this honesty!
I know it’s easy for me to say, but I feel like if the experience transitioning contributed to self discovery, then it helped build who u are, and it needed to happen to get u where u r today. And should try not to feel too much regret that u went down that road. It’s natural to have regrets in life and that’s fine. As long as we learn from the experiences and not let the regret consume us. That said, it’s simply terrible for someone to use ur quotes and experiences out of context.
Regina Fallangie I totally agree. These people hijacking her truth want to take away the option of finding a solution. She talks about suicide too: if hormone therapy was not an option, would she have taken that option instead? That would be counter to pro-lifers too right?! Options mean another chance to contribute to society; their pursuit of happiness.
And not to forget: male and female bodies are never just organic manifestations. They are very much politicised and used. The way I interpret her story is: her experiences with sexual violence contributed to a hightened awareness of the many ways in which her body was (ab-)used by individual men, by society, by politics etc. Clothing norms that forced her to wear skirts felt invasive... Male traits are equated with power, which is also why men who were sexually abused talk about a feeling of "emasculation". Femininity is wrongfully equated with vulnerability and victimhood - a destiny, that she understandibly resented.
I was sexually abused as a young teenager as well and while I didn't go through extreme gender-dismorphia, I had symptoms of it. I became anorexic (which is linked to body-dismorphia, the feeling that your body isn't "right"). However, when you get very skinny, your gender-traits also become less apparent. And I remember feeling less threatened because I was less sexually attractive for boys... But it's not the body per-se that is the problem, but the way our bodies are semantically loaded within society. Boobs and curvey hips weren't the problem. The problem was the ways in which they were sexualized. A higher voice and smaller body-height wasn't my issue. But the ways in which these became "expressions of powerlessness". It is important to ackowledge this distinction, to stop self-blaming.
Regina Fallangie Intentionally misquoting people- is unethical. That psuedo-christian male is U N E T H I C A L. By choosing that, he negated his own point in his "book". He negated his sense of self in the world. No credibility outside of a narrow walk of ALL life. That will always follow him around.
Valhalla and others - I'm sorry for your hurt. May you find solace in knowing that there are many people out there reading your post who may not reply, but are supportive and hope it doesn't happen again to you or to others.
I completely agree.
That QUACK who had her try to transition!!! That makes me furious!