Man I want a wife and kids one day and as a 21-year-old man I can honestly say that I am not ready to have kids yet bc I believe in the Bible I believe in having a wife first and then having kids
Not only feeding the baby, spending time with child, being active in the child's life, raising and training the child, taking the child to church and teaching the child responsibility. Can I get an Amen!
Keeping your legs closed will avoid a whole bunch of issues You as a woman, a sister, do not have to prove anything to anyone. It's okay to be alone, to self-reflect, to improve your self-esteem and your self-love and your self worth through positive verbal affirmations as you wait for the Most High to send you a true king Stop allowing these narcissistic males who hate women, who just want to use us, disregard us, abuse us emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically and throw us away like a snot filled kleenex! You are NOT that Apple laying on the ground, desperate and begging to be picked up! You are that Apple high up in the tree where it takes effort to get to!! Don't nobody want something easy. Males are hunters. Don't chase a man, let him pursue you. That is the proper order of things
I've had other women look at me crazy when I tell them I've never lived with a boyfrd etc. My parents are old school and always taught me not to "shack up with men" and to make my own money. So that has never been an option. Those are def two of the best lessons I've ever learned.
A lot of us as women don’t realize that playing house puts us in a vulnerable and dangerous position. Tony is speaking the truth here! I see so many women at my job with babies and toddlers and they’re on government assistance because they never required marriage. They just wanted a baby. I even had a woman try to tell me I need to hurry up and have a baby (meanwhile she’s struggling). Misery truly loves company unfortunately.
For the last 30 years, more black babies are born out of wedlock, than in wedlock. Babies are planned without a commitment. Some mothers encourage their children to have babies without a commitment. Many black women fear they will never have children if they wait on marriage. Raising children alone is a hard job if you do it right.
@@shutit4024 My mother told my cousins that she is tired of getting baby shower invitations from them. She told them that I want to see some wedding invitations in the future or a marriage reception. The three of them coyly agreed with her.
I’m one & done. I’m still maturing as a woman & mom with my son. He’s 6 I’m 26 & I realized I simply do not want the responsibility of raising up another child because of how SERIOUS it is. I can look beyond the cute baby stage & understand this is a real person, who’s going to be molded by me. My son I can focus on him & give him my best but also trying to work on me. It’s HARD. Raising a child & still maturing as a person & managing your emotions and your child’s emotions.. This parenting stuff is not play play.
@ Bree Nicole Thank you for sharing your story. I’m 26 also, and I’m still maturing as a woman as well. I realized that I’m NOWHERE near ready to be married and a mother, so kids shouldn’t even be on my mind. I see the struggle of other women. I pray that you keep pressing forward and become the BEST version of yourself in every aspect of your life for you and your son. ❤️
Thanks for being honest because some will never admit that it's hard. I don't have my own kids but I practically raised my brother and I've been taking care of my little cousin's son for 5 years. Not easy.
I'm 35 and I don't have children. My dad proposed to my mom before I was born, but my grandmother said no lol. 🤦🏽♀️ So eventually he moved on, married another lady, and they've been married 31 years. She has children but I am his only child. He wasn't perfect as I grew up, but he is a man who has been rooted in marriage, hard work, and family. I stay vetting these men! I do not want to bring children into a fatherless home. We have enough of that out here. Sometimes it is scary to think what if I miss / missed my time, but at the same time I stand firm on knowing that there is nothing I've ever wanted that God did not supply. I want a family, and not just a baby. 🙏🏽
That comment about illegitimate children growing up to be shooters hit different. I’m from Chicago and have worked with at risk youth for years. Let me tell you, it’s the truth!!! The commonality of it all is broken families and poverty.
Smart beautiful lady you have wisdom and self respect when you honor God and refuse to bow to what this godless society promotes- remember except the Lord build the house they labor in vain who build it
For years I played house. It was playing because we weren’t married but we were playing with real bills, real lives, real hearts. It was so necessary to get out and I’m glad I did.
@@alyssakalette yes sis. I had to separate the idea of what I thought was the truth and what was real. I talk about it in my free WorthShop. I don’t want anyone going through it because we did hurt everyone involved.
@@terrim8572 because I was more in love with the idea that being engaged and saying “my fiancé” than remaining true to myself. I knew from the very beginning it wasn’t a relationship I should have entertained, but being weak-willed, I ignored the things that went against my morals and values. I stepped outside of my own boundaries and all. In the end, he let me know what it was and I couldn’t be mad because I knew it! I just tripped on how long I put up with something that long. As soon as I left my self-worth began to increase.
I made a huge mistake with my daughter’s dad. He was a loser and I knew it. Instead of getting mad, I got up got my degree, worked on my brand, went to church, stopped drinking and got my money up. Made a mistake, learned from it and bossed up.
No matter how much you boss up thats still her father just like you're her mother nothing can change that. That's what people need to understand about this message.
I googled the term co-habitation (romantically involved and living together without being married but with the intention of marrying). The amount of research done on this topic is incredible. It has been studied from so many different aspects financial, psychological, societal, emotional and marital just to name a few. Most often the outcomes don't support wholesome, long term family environments. Tony is a Christian and shares what the LORD's WORD says about this topic. But even society knows this arrangement does not work.
💯- it is fascinating to me the statistics and studies done that show living together before marriage raises your chances for divorce by 50% over people who don’t - shocking
I’m 32 next yr doesn’t have baby. All my friends younger than me having their babies already settling for less and on and off with their baby daddy who always play around and doesn’t give them a ring. I mean I’m good. Im not jealous yes sometimes its lonely but I’m good. I don’t want to be in the shoe were my partner is messing up and i don’t have a gut to leave coz i don’t have money. Nahh I’m good being single and doesn’t have child yet. I need to work alot for my self and prepared before having baby to a man who might turn around soon as theres a young and sexy woman around. Preparing is the key.
I had to cut my best friend off for this recently. Her children are living in so much chaos and dysfunction to the point where I even told her that one of her oldest sons seems to be depressed. I could FEEL his pain/misery. I asked him if he was sad/depressed and he said no but I knew he wasn’t telling the truth. Then she proceeded to tell me that “he’s a Scorpio and that’s how they are.” I looked at her in absolute disgust and disbelief. To disregard your own child’s feelings is a HUGE reg flag to me and I can’t be around a person like that. No wonder she would always say “I need to hurry up and have kids.” I refuse to be miserable like her. I’m 30 with no kids and I’m keeping it that way until I’m married. Thank you for this video Tony!!!
You think being married will make kids happy? I know kids who are in a two family married home and they’re depressed. What you said was very shallow and ignorant.
It’s tight but it’s right! I learned the hard way. I’m still trying to help my adult children deal with their childhood trauma that I did not even know I was putting them through
There's a reason why God wants a certain order. Marriage between two whole healthy individuals. Then have a baby. Quit playing house, quit giving up of your womb. If he hasn't given you his last name. Just because a man opens his bedroom to you, doesn't mean he's given you his heart. There's so many broken homes! Because no one is honoring God and doing things God's way.
This shouldn't be shown to the 364k people who follow the channel, this is something EVERYBODY should watch. I'm so happy I didn't miss this upload, you make a real difference. Thanks! ❤
You right Cousin Tony. My parents used to ask me about my friends' backgrounds, who their parents are, where they live, etc. I used to think they were tripping but now at 42 I realized why. Can’t have your kids around just anyone!!!
If you notice he is talking about doing things God's way especially when having children. However being unmarried and in a sexual relationship is going against God's Word also.
Children come first once you have them. They become top priority. The circumstances are sometimes not ideal, but every child that is here is meant to be here. That’s what I told my daughter. She was meant to be here. It’s God driven. He doesn’t make any mistakes. We all have a purpose. Yes, be careful who you have children with. That is good advice Tony.
If the child has been conceived with knowledge and wisdomka the right way,them things change then yes of course but if ignorance led to the child being born,then let us not use God's name to deceive ourselves into our own messes just to make things softer for ourselves
I am what you could consider “illegitimate” as are my two half sisters and half brother. I was given up for adoption to a well meaning family. But that turned into dysfunction after my dad had health issues. My half sisters and brother who stayed with my birth parents grew up extremely poor. Dirt eating poor. All of us are in therapy to deal with the trauma of our chaotic upbringings. I’ll be paying for the irresponsibility of my parents for the rest of my life. It’s not fair, I didn’t choose chaos and alienation - but I’m here. We deserved a good, full and stable upbringing. We deserved to grow up together and not be torn apart. We are all good people and fairly productive - but broken would be an understatement
@@wonderfullyrenee yeah I’m not feeling the new vibe of her newest album, i feel like with London that could’ve been avoided too seeing how he wasn’t in his oldest kids life
I played house for almost 12 years.. 🤦🏼♀️😞 settling, ignoring on fire red flags, both of us not growing, doing our will instead of God's.. you are helping me so much 🙏🏼🙏🏼
@@staciadavis-5p1cac93 Thank you so much 🙏🏼❤ i am 35.. i feel like i don't have alot of time left. I desire a healthy marriage and to have children. I am just focusing on my healing and growing and learning. This relationship started out wonderful, but was abusive physically, mentally and emotionally through out. I am blessed to be here today.
Tony our son is 25 years old and his dad and I always have the talk about being unmarried and having children and the kind of woman he introduces us to. Real talk
Amen and Amen! Being filled with the Holy Spirit is the only way a person can truly resist the lust of the flesh and have the strength to run from the deception of Satan.
💯 You ain’t lying! I just by the grace of God and the strength of the Holy Ghost fought and battled all year thru a situation that was a serious temptation sent straight from the enemy but now have a testimony and wisdom and knowledge to share with young people
I know a child is a blessing, but I have to scroll right past all these gender reveals with these over the top events, with toxic, abusive, negligent people that I know personally…bringing innocent children in the world and I’m suppose to be jumping for joy, my heart be sad B
@@PrettyDreadie yes I’m tired of seeing it I mean if it was couples that are engaged or married I be happy for them but with a boyfriend or baby dad... I cringe
This was TOO TOO good. I love the videos about raising the children correctly. "The less morals a man or woman has, the worst of a parent they are going to be." So so true
My goodness this needs to be on ALL Social media platforms “Enough is Enough” : I know I ain’t crazy saying or speaking on this with my Teens and young adult children I found my tribe 💜
Omg!!! I was JUST having this convo with my sister today. I did this in my teens and 20's. I WILL NEVER play house again. No ma'am Pam! Sadly, I was having the convo in reference to a 40-something and 50-something year old woman (two people, aunt and a friend). I'm 38, so they're not going to listen to me...I've tried. I know I'm not settling and playing wife and sharing space. Thanks for confirming Tony. 👌🏽😊❤🙋🏾♀️👏🏽👏🏽
I love the blunt rawness of these messages. Praise God! I'm a single mother if two..did it my way instead of God's way. I am now taking responsibility for my part and doing what I need to do to glorify God as a mother without their father.
@@PeaceBeStill- I watch family members and friends go through it with that. House just be toxic as hell and the kids be running around miserable as hell.
Merci. Merci. Merci.🗣 we got to do better. Alot of people need to stop asking people when are they going to have "another" one especially if they're not fit for it. Some of us do it just to say oh all my children with one man, and that one man can't give one ring, when a child cost more than a ring. I don't know how it doesn't scare some people to not have themselves to fall back on. I'm happy I started it right. No way a man would make me leave my parents and send me back there, especially with a child. I can fall back on me thank God. I refuse to pop out a child for just "any" man. Once a mistake, twice is a habit. Be blessed.
I'm a woman and I cried ..This message took my breath away. For this very reason is why I only have one grown child. There was no reason for me to have another child if I'm not married for one and two a child is a whole human that you got to sacrifice everything you have and don't have...No one is perfect but to be honest Tony is right that the world is full of a generation of savages because the fathers were not involved and the women were too irresponsible to say ok I got one kid no dad so now let me just focus on this kid...Prevention is key... I'd rather use birth control etc..condoms than ever bring a whole human in the world with someone who is more irresponsible than I. Yes birth control has risks but nothing is worse than not raising your child properly and now the world got to deal with them...I did the crime and paid the time and i was in my child face from the womb ..Now my grown child is an excellent example of how God helped me along the way as a single mother..I definitely did not have any more time for another child or another half dad...When you know better you do better..#🤔
Well said Mr. Gaskins! We must reap what we sow, we all must stand before God some day and give account of the life we chose to live. God bless you and your beautiful wife
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY 💯PERCENT CORRECT TONY... YOUNG MENS, YOUNG WOMENS, FOR CHRIST SAKE..NOT BEING MARRIED AND HAVING CHILDERN IN THIS WORLD IS A AWFUL MISTAKE. A CHILD NEED BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER.. AND THE FINANCES MUST BE IN ORDER..🤔🤔
Preach Tony! My sentiments exactly. My Dad instilled getting married first and having children with my husband since I was 13 years old. It has stuck with me til this day. I’m 30 and dating a single Dad of one child. He is very responsible and such a wonderful father. We have been together for a year and we’re celibate until marriage. Thanks for all of your advice Tony! You’ve helped me come a long way in knowing my worth as a woman. I didn’t think it was possible to date a man who is willing to be celibate until marriage. I am living it today! 😊
I’M STILL TRYNA PICK MA MOUF (😭) UP OFF DA FLOOR 😳. WHERE DID HE COME FROM LOL!! THANK YOU, PASTOR TONY. I MEAN, DEACON GASKINS…I SAY IT EVERY TIME HE GO IN!! I CAN’T HELP IT!! 💯
The sad part is, is that people don't recognize that they are functioning in dysfunction. A lot of it is generational. Broken individuals having and raising broken children😪 This video is 🔥
Tony Gaskins!!!! You better Preach! tell the truth shame the devil! No lies told at all! Put some respect on TG name! I’am so glad you are giving out all the gem! I receive it all and hope that this helps someone, it helped me! Blessings to you and the Queen 🙏🏾
My lord this was a word! Us women better listen and stop playing victim. Honestly we haven't all been bamboozled even some of the women who got married they know they married wrong. Tony thank you so much for this God bless you 🙏🏽 ❤
Amen to this message. I do believe that life is simple. If you raise your kids by living the right way, they then know the right way exists. Everyone knows what genuine love is, and as humans we want to emulate it. We just want to do it for the right person(s). Parents, you are first example of life these kids see, don’t have them looking to the world for answers because they are sure to be lost. Teach them accountability, responsibility, and give them the tools to be responsible humans. The world needs whole humans more then ever before. Thank you, Tony.
Thank you, Tony. I believe the Holly Spirit was with you here. In summary: The marital act belongs only in a God-centered, covenental marriage. God bless you ❤️
Oh no u didn't!!! strong Lion...You sound like the men that were around in my generation (I'm 66 yrs old) from the home, politician or the pastors. Thank you for remaining obedient...
I wish some of these women on TH-cam could here this. It’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s the truth. This made me take another look at my life even tho I have my tubes tied I should still use protection or remain abstinent.
This is 100 percent truth. I am so glad they will have to answer to God. Thank you for being a great husband and father, intentionally. Your commitment to them is humbling.
This is so true! This is why your messages are so appreciated. I know, I’ve gotten into relationships and compromised my standards and values because I didn’t love myself. If we love ourselves, we have more discernment to choose, rather than settle. Thank you for all of your messages.
I’m sharing your message to every young person in my contacts. You teach truth. Sadly baby drama is systematic amongst the youth. People if you do nothing examine yourselves, examine your mate BEFORE you too are trapped holding the bag. Thank you Mr Gaskins.
I totally agree! 💯 its not politically correct with the under 30 crowd and really society as a whole doesn’t want to hear it but this needs to be said- just because you’re old enough to crawl into bed with somebody and play house for a number of years does not make you husband or wife material
I don’t have any children because I am waiting until marriage. And I haven’t met a lot of men who are willing to do that. I refuse to be a baby mama. One day I want to be a wife and I want my first child to have a awesome father. Ladies we have to do better and stop settling for less. Yeah I refuse to date men who have children no thank you. Leave that drama alone. 🙅🏽♀️
Recently finished “A Woman’s Influence” it’s so grounding, especially in times of self-doubt. Just getting started on “The Dream Chaser”. Loving that Tony narrates his own audiobooks.
TG is on point....he is speaking nothing but facts. Thanks Tony for putting your hand on the pulse on todays trending topics👏👏👏👏👏👏 too many FATHERLESS HOMES!!!
AMEN Tony Gaskins!🙌🏾💃🏾 I PRAY that others share this REAL LIFE MESSAGE with others. I have sent this video to my young adults asking that they share it with others and to my coworkers to share with their family. Tony, you are truly and indeed doing God's work and I "sho nuff preciate cha."🙌🏾💃🏾🙌🏾 May God always bless you and your beautiful family. 🙏🏽👑🙏🏽🤎🙏🏽
MY GOD! In my opinion, out of all of the videos you've recorded this one has to be the most heartfelt message you've delivered with so much wisdom. Thank you Tony
God Bless You Tony Gaskins! This was your most powerful message by far. Our children are our future. Thank you for bringing valuable insight on your platform.
“Why you having his baby if he won’t marry you?” TG
🤦♀️😫.
One of the most profound questions in life
"A child needs a father that's going to be stable, responsible and thats going to be a role model" that's it 👌
The children suffer because of two selfish parents. Children deserve to have both parents in the household, period!
Also, having a baby will NOT make a man stay. Two “children” can’t raise a child. This has been a NEEDED message for everybody. Thank you!
Man I want a wife and kids one day and as a 21-year-old man I can honestly say that I am not ready to have kids yet bc I believe in the Bible I believe in having a wife first and then having kids
👏🏾👍🏽
“If you can’t feed the baby, then don’t have a baby”….. MJ
"Yeah Yeah"🔥Wanna Be Starting Something🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
Oh you bout to be starting something 😂😂😂
Not only feeding the baby, spending time with child, being active in the child's life, raising and training the child, taking the child to church and teaching the child responsibility. Can I get an Amen!
Not only feed your baby,but yourself too. My nephew got a girl pregnant,that time we're still feeding him🤯
@@lovehope3778 I'm sure God helps those who can also help themselves we have to do our part.
Keeping your legs closed will avoid a whole bunch of issues
You as a woman, a sister, do not have to prove anything to anyone. It's okay to be alone, to self-reflect, to improve your self-esteem and your self-love and your self worth through positive verbal affirmations as you wait for the Most High to send you a true king
Stop allowing these narcissistic males who hate women, who just want to use us, disregard us, abuse us emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically and throw us away like a snot filled kleenex!
You are NOT that Apple laying on the ground, desperate and begging to be picked up! You are that Apple high up in the tree where it takes effort to get to!!
Don't nobody want something easy. Males are hunters. Don't chase a man, let him pursue you. That is the proper order of things
Well said! 💯👏👏👏
🥺 Wow; that was beautiful!
Thank you! 👏😭💕
Amen.
I've had other women look at me crazy when I tell them I've never lived with a boyfrd etc. My parents are old school and always taught me not to "shack up with men" and to make my own money. So that has never been an option. Those are def two of the best lessons I've ever learned.
A lot of us as women don’t realize that playing house puts us in a vulnerable and dangerous position. Tony is speaking the truth here! I see so many women at my job with babies and toddlers and they’re on government assistance because they never required marriage. They just wanted a baby. I even had a woman try to tell me I need to hurry up and have a baby (meanwhile she’s struggling). Misery truly loves company unfortunately.
Yes. And those same women are quick to baby shame meanwhile got 8 kids passing around fundraiser sheets. Don't let me get started😒
This is a whole word. 💯
@@kdh255 right! on EBT and WIC telling me I need to "hurry up." Smdh the ignorance.
@@relisbetrel yesss!
And they always say “marriage doesn’t guarantee anything” I just shake my head. So you think having a baby out of wedlock is better? Okay.
For the last 30 years, more black babies are born out of wedlock, than in wedlock. Babies are planned without a commitment. Some mothers encourage their children to have babies without a commitment. Many black women fear they will never have children if they wait on marriage. Raising children alone is a hard job if you do it right.
Same with the Latino community I was shocked to find out they have the 2nd highest out of wedlock babies
@@shutit4024 My mother told my cousins that she is tired of getting baby shower invitations from them. She told them that I want to see some wedding invitations in the future or a marriage reception. The three of them coyly agreed with her.
@@shutit4024 why did that surprise you ?
I’m one & done. I’m still maturing as a woman & mom with my son. He’s 6 I’m 26 & I realized I simply do not want the responsibility of raising up another child because of how SERIOUS it is. I can look beyond the cute baby stage & understand this is a real person, who’s going to be molded by me. My son I can focus on him & give him my best but also trying to work on me. It’s HARD. Raising a child & still maturing as a person & managing your emotions and your child’s emotions.. This parenting stuff is not play play.
YOOOO THIS!!!
Gyrlll me too!!
@ Bree Nicole Thank you for sharing your story. I’m 26 also, and I’m still maturing as a woman as well. I realized that I’m NOWHERE near ready to be married and a mother, so kids shouldn’t even be on my mind. I see the struggle of other women. I pray that you keep pressing forward and become the BEST version of yourself in every aspect of your life for you and your son. ❤️
@@aliciawoods8925 thank you love❤
Thanks for being honest because some will never admit that it's hard. I don't have my own kids but I practically raised my brother and I've been taking care of my little cousin's son for 5 years. Not easy.
I'm 35 and I don't have children. My dad proposed to my mom before I was born, but my grandmother said no lol. 🤦🏽♀️ So eventually he moved on, married another lady, and they've been married 31 years. She has children but I am his only child. He wasn't perfect as I grew up, but he is a man who has been rooted in marriage, hard work, and family. I stay vetting these men! I do not want to bring children into a fatherless home. We have enough of that out here. Sometimes it is scary to think what if I miss / missed my time, but at the same time I stand firm on knowing that there is nothing I've ever wanted that God did not supply. I want a family, and not just a baby. 🙏🏽
That comment about illegitimate children growing up to be shooters hit different. I’m from Chicago and have worked with at risk youth for years. Let me tell you, it’s the truth!!! The commonality of it all is broken families and poverty.
Really a problem that no one wants to fix 💯
I tuned it as soon as I saw the title. I’m 40 and never lived with a man and a man never lived with me. I’ve always been against playing house.
Peace Queen. Stay blessed!
@@wonderfullyrenee just imagine all of the bad experiences we missed. That’s something to be proud of.
Smart beautiful lady you have wisdom and self respect when you honor God and refuse to bow to what this godless society promotes- remember except the Lord build the house they labor in vain who build it
😊🙌🤞.
For years I played house. It was playing because we weren’t married but we were playing with real bills, real lives, real hearts. It was so necessary to get out and I’m glad I did.
Yess real bills, hearts and lives!!
@@alyssakalette yes sis. I had to separate the idea of what I thought was the truth and what was real. I talk about it in my free WorthShop. I don’t want anyone going through it because we did hurt everyone involved.
T-shirt, 📕 book, something, “real bills, real lives, real heart ✨
Hey queen. Would you mind explaining why you were happy to get out of that situation?
@@terrim8572 because I was more in love with the idea that being engaged and saying “my fiancé” than remaining true to myself. I knew from the very beginning it wasn’t a relationship I should have entertained, but being weak-willed, I ignored the things that went against my morals and values. I stepped outside of my own boundaries and all. In the end, he let me know what it was and I couldn’t be mad because I knew it! I just tripped on how long I put up with something that long. As soon as I left my self-worth began to increase.
I say this ALLL THE TIME! “A child is not an accessory!!! “ This generation thinks it’s fun to have kids on purpose and play house.
I made a huge mistake with my daughter’s dad. He was a loser and I knew it. Instead of getting mad, I got up got my degree, worked on my brand, went to church, stopped drinking and got my money up. Made a mistake, learned from it and bossed up.
No matter how much you boss up thats still her father just like you're her mother nothing can change that. That's what people need to understand about this message.
@@ieshjust16 true but most women would still stay or keep making babies with other men, I still say she did a very good job 👏
Amen Tony, tell the truth. I refuse to have a baby unmarried or play house. I want my child to have two loving parents.
I googled the term co-habitation (romantically involved and living together without being married but with the intention of marrying). The amount of research done on this topic is incredible. It has been studied from so many different aspects financial, psychological, societal, emotional and marital just to name a few. Most often the outcomes don't support wholesome, long term family environments.
Tony is a Christian and shares what the LORD's WORD says about this topic. But even society knows this arrangement does not work.
💯- it is fascinating to me the statistics and studies done that show living together before marriage raises your chances for divorce by 50% over people who don’t - shocking
When Tony said stop thinking a man your retirement plan. I’ll never… I secure daily. I tell/ask God to keep the hustle in me😁🤲🏾🤲🏾
I’m 32 next yr doesn’t have baby. All my friends younger than me having their babies already settling for less and on and off with their baby daddy who always play around and doesn’t give them a ring. I mean I’m good. Im not jealous yes sometimes its lonely but I’m good. I don’t want to be in the shoe were my partner is messing up and i don’t have a gut to leave coz i don’t have money. Nahh I’m good being single and doesn’t have child yet. I need to work alot for my self and prepared before having baby to a man who might turn around soon as theres a young and sexy woman around. Preparing is the key.
I had to cut my best friend off for this recently. Her children are living in so much chaos and dysfunction to the point where I even told her that one of her oldest sons seems to be depressed. I could FEEL his pain/misery. I asked him if he was sad/depressed and he said no but I knew he wasn’t telling the truth. Then she proceeded to tell me that “he’s a Scorpio and that’s how they are.” I looked at her in absolute disgust and disbelief. To disregard your own child’s feelings is a HUGE reg flag to me and I can’t be around a person like that. No wonder she would always say “I need to hurry up and have kids.” I refuse to be miserable like her. I’m 30 with no kids and I’m keeping it that way until I’m married. Thank you for this video Tony!!!
You think being married will make kids happy? I know kids who are in a two family married home and they’re depressed. What you said was very shallow and ignorant.
Yea parenting is hard after the baby/ child faze..
@@Spokenfromthegrave I don't think that's what she said.. but I'm pretty sure seeing your dad love your mom is healthy for the kids..
It’s tight but it’s right! I learned the hard way. I’m still trying to help my adult children deal with their childhood trauma that I did not even know I was putting them through
There's a reason why God wants a certain order. Marriage between two whole healthy individuals. Then have a baby. Quit playing house, quit giving up of your womb. If he hasn't given you his last name. Just because a man opens his bedroom to you, doesn't mean he's given you his heart.
There's so many broken homes! Because no one is honoring God and doing things God's way.
Yup!
Preach!!! Amen 🙏
💯
This shouldn't be shown to the 364k people who follow the channel, this is something EVERYBODY should watch. I'm so happy I didn't miss this upload, you make a real difference. Thanks! ❤
Curious, have you )everyone reading this comment) shared it on your Facebook page if you have one?
This is a video that needs played in "sex ed" class 😅 it's that good
Just take DaYellowBone & DaInfant situation for an example. It's real sad out here. I wish Tony was viral ! His teachings are much needed
Da infant lmao!
@@camilledbrown I tried. We can't say names on here. But I knew yall would know who I'm speaking on. I just hope the child is alright
🤣
Exactly❗❕💀
Hollering 🤣🤣🤣 not DaInfant ☠️☠️☠️
You right Cousin Tony. My parents used to ask me about my friends' backgrounds, who their parents are, where they live, etc. I used to think they were tripping but now at 42 I realized why. Can’t have your kids around just anyone!!!
See this is why I don't want kids. This is a crazy, messed up world and I don't want to put a child through that. I'm good
Same here 😌🙋🏾
Exactly n that is y I got my tubes tied years ago I have a good man and I still don’t want to bare his children.
If you notice he is talking about doing things God's way especially when having children. However being unmarried and in a sexual relationship is going against God's Word also.
Same
@@shiracobb3098 I’m 22 I’m trying to get them burned but the doctors won’t let me
Children come first once you have them. They become top priority. The circumstances are sometimes not ideal, but every child that is here is meant to be here. That’s what I told my daughter. She was meant to be here. It’s God driven. He doesn’t make any mistakes. We all have a purpose. Yes, be careful who you have children with. That is good advice Tony.
If the child has been conceived with knowledge and wisdomka the right way,them things change then yes of course but if ignorance led to the child being born,then let us not use God's name to deceive ourselves into our own messes just to make things softer for ourselves
Mr Gaskins doesn't ask us for anything, but it would be great if we can all like this video. This is a message that lots of people need to hear.
YES!! I agree 😭
I am what you could consider “illegitimate” as are my two half sisters and half brother. I was given up for adoption to a well meaning family. But that turned into dysfunction after my dad had health issues. My half sisters and brother who stayed with my birth parents grew up extremely poor. Dirt eating poor. All of us are in therapy to deal with the trauma of our chaotic upbringings. I’ll be paying for the irresponsibility of my parents for the rest of my life. It’s not fair, I didn’t choose chaos and alienation - but I’m here. We deserved a good, full and stable upbringing. We deserved to grow up together and not be torn apart. We are all good people and fairly productive - but broken would be an understatement
I lowkey know what inspired this message 🥴 poor Danileigh , I’ve been there once she drops that loser her real blessings will come through !
Tony QUICK 🤣
@@wilniquehart yes 😂 i don’t see how shorty got with da baby he’s so unattractive and corny to me
Facts!
She’s not a victim
@@wonderfullyrenee yeah I’m not feeling the new vibe of her newest album, i feel like with London that could’ve been avoided too seeing how he wasn’t in his oldest kids life
I played house for almost 12 years.. 🤦🏼♀️😞 settling, ignoring on fire red flags, both of us not growing, doing our will instead of God's.. you are helping me so much 🙏🏼🙏🏼
You appear to still be very young. You have learned, grown and deepened. Set your sights high and achieve your dream. Stay strong and prayed up!
@@staciadavis-5p1cac93 Thank you so much 🙏🏼❤ i am 35.. i feel like i don't have alot of time left. I desire a healthy marriage and to have children. I am just focusing on my healing and growing and learning. This relationship started out wonderful, but was abusive physically, mentally and emotionally through out. I am blessed to be here today.
I did it for a long time. I can't do it no more!
@@tiffaniewilliamson2768 Me too.. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
@@alyssakalette I'm 34 sweetie and um...im hoping for a healthy happy marriage as well. I have no children and desire to have some. It gets lonely.
Sounds like DaBaby and Danileigh inspired this video. I’m glad Tony addressed this.
Nick C., Fetty W.,Future, Brittney Ŕ. etc.
@@marshaholmes8412 summer walker too
@@shutit4024and London "onthetrack" her baby's father to many...
Super message. I cry for the innocent, pure babies involved. It's so abusive!! 😢
Tony our son is 25 years old and his dad and I always have the talk about being unmarried and having children and the kind of woman he introduces us to. Real talk
I like how Tony touches on trending topics respectfully🤣🤣🤣
😂😂 Right! Letting us know he got his ears to the streets.
@@nataliet.3023 yes lol
“Respectfully,” that part 👏🏾.
Amen and Amen! Being filled with the Holy Spirit is the only way a person can truly resist the lust of the flesh and have the strength to run from the deception of Satan.
💯 You ain’t lying! I just by the grace of God and the strength of the Holy Ghost fought and battled all year thru a situation that was a serious temptation sent straight from the enemy but now have a testimony and wisdom and knowledge to share with young people
I know a child is a blessing, but I have to scroll right past all these gender reveals with these over the top events, with toxic, abusive, negligent people that I know personally…bringing innocent children in the world and I’m suppose to be jumping for joy, my heart be sad B
Yes they do it for clout smh
I say kids are a blessing but why bring a blessing into a curse? What I mean by that is it’s already dysfunction going on
@@PrettyDreadie yes I’m tired of seeing it I mean if it was couples that are engaged or married I be happy for them but with a boyfriend or baby dad... I cringe
@@LA-wv7gf yeah same I have a friend that is going through it with her baby dad
@@shutit4024 yes I’m a single mom it’s nothing to glorify like at all
This was TOO TOO good. I love the videos about raising the children correctly. "The less morals a man or woman has, the worst of a parent they are going to be." So so true
As for me and my house we will serve the Lord 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 Amen Bro . Gaskins
My goodness this needs to be on ALL Social media platforms “Enough is Enough”
:
I know I ain’t crazy saying or speaking on this with my Teens and young adult children I found my tribe 💜
Was literally thinking the same thing! A hole word
Curious, have you (everyone that reads this comment) shared it on your Facebook page if you have one? I flood my timeline with his videos.
@@Dr.Elaine1 I don't have FB or it woud have been shared.
@@journeywithelyse5837
Thanks for your reply! I understand.
Omg!!! I was JUST having this convo with my sister today. I did this in my teens and 20's. I WILL NEVER play house again. No ma'am Pam! Sadly, I was having the convo in reference to a 40-something and 50-something year old woman (two people, aunt and a friend). I'm 38, so they're not going to listen to me...I've tried. I know I'm not settling and playing wife and sharing space. Thanks for confirming Tony. 👌🏽😊❤🙋🏾♀️👏🏽👏🏽
I love the blunt rawness of these messages. Praise God! I'm a single mother if two..did it my way instead of God's way. I am now taking responsibility for my part and doing what I need to do to glorify God as a mother without their father.
This video should be titled: BIG FACTS 💯💪🏾✨
😂😂🎯🎯
I'm not in this number and no where near it. This is a much needed message to our young black men and women. Say amen or say ouch.
Tony is so right! Some of these kids are being processed not raised, there's a difference!
Major FACTS, I work in the school system and I see it DAILY
Tuned in as soon as I saw the title. I just wanna know what you gotta say although I’m 40 and never played house. No way no how!
Same here sis! I've never understood how these women can shack up for so many years (and even have kids), and NEVER get a ring from their "man".
@@PeaceBeStill- I watch family members and friends go through it with that. House just be toxic as hell and the kids be running around miserable as hell.
@@shaniceshanice8735 Yep, just to perpetuate that same toxicity to future generations! Lord help us 🙏🏾
@@PeaceBeStill- some of them get the ring but never be married
@@shaniceshanice8735 I have friends that are playing house and Raising their mans kids
Merci. Merci. Merci.🗣 we got to do better. Alot of people need to stop asking people when are they going to have "another" one especially if they're not fit for it. Some of us do it just to say oh all my children with one man, and that one man can't give one ring, when a child cost more than a ring. I don't know how it doesn't scare some people to not have themselves to fall back on. I'm happy I started it right. No way a man would make me leave my parents and send me back there, especially with a child. I can fall back on me thank God. I refuse to pop out a child for just "any" man. Once a mistake, twice is a habit. Be blessed.
Preach Tony and say it louder for the people in the back!🗣🗣🗣
Louder tony🗣🗣🗣
I'm a woman and I cried ..This message took my breath away. For this very reason is why I only have one grown child. There was no reason for me to have another child if I'm not married for one and two a child is a whole human that you got to sacrifice everything you have and don't have...No one is perfect but to be honest Tony is right that the world is full of a generation of savages because the fathers were not involved and the women were too irresponsible to say ok I got one kid no dad so now let me just focus on this kid...Prevention is key... I'd rather use birth control etc..condoms than ever bring a whole human in the world with someone who is more irresponsible than I. Yes birth control has risks but nothing is worse than not raising your child properly and now the world got to deal with them...I did the crime and paid the time and i was in my child face from the womb ..Now my grown child is an excellent example of how God helped me along the way as a single mother..I definitely did not have any more time for another child or another half dad...When you know better you do better..#🤔
Well said Mr. Gaskins! We must reap what we sow, we all must stand before God some day and give account of the life we chose to live. God bless you and your beautiful wife
O my goodness “Scratch ya booty and get glad” was my Grandmother’s 👵🏽 favorite line! Heavy 🗣 thank you Tony!!
Ha! I remember that phrase years ago. It still tickles me when I hear it everytime!😄😄😄
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY 💯PERCENT CORRECT TONY... YOUNG MENS, YOUNG WOMENS, FOR CHRIST SAKE..NOT BEING MARRIED AND HAVING CHILDERN IN THIS WORLD IS A AWFUL MISTAKE. A CHILD NEED BOTH MOTHER AND FATHER.. AND THE FINANCES MUST BE IN ORDER..🤔🤔
Preach Tony! My sentiments exactly. My Dad instilled getting married first and having children with my husband since I was 13 years old. It has stuck with me til this day. I’m 30 and dating a single Dad of one child. He is very responsible and such a wonderful father. We have been together for a year and we’re celibate until marriage. Thanks for all of your advice Tony! You’ve helped me come a long way in knowing my worth as a woman. I didn’t think it was possible to date a man who is willing to be celibate until marriage. I am living it today! 😊
Only thing missing in this message was the praise and worship choir and the benediction 😩💯💯💯💯
I’M STILL TRYNA PICK MA MOUF (😭) UP OFF DA FLOOR 😳. WHERE DID HE COME FROM LOL!! THANK YOU, PASTOR TONY. I MEAN, DEACON GASKINS…I SAY IT EVERY TIME HE GO IN!! I CAN’T HELP IT!! 💯
The sad part is, is that people don't recognize that they are functioning in dysfunction. A lot of it is generational. Broken individuals having and raising broken children😪
This video is 🔥
ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
Feel better TG!!! And for the one who gave a thumbs down ...TG spreads enlightenment positive energy wisdom and love. No negativity!!
Tony Gaskins!!!! You better Preach! tell the truth shame the devil! No lies told at all! Put some respect on TG name! I’am so glad you are giving out all the gem! I receive it all and hope that this helps someone, it helped me!
Blessings to you and the Queen 🙏🏾
Thank you for speaking on this topic! May OUR HEAVENLY FATHER Heal and Restore your health Tony IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST! AMEN!!!
My lord this was a word! Us women better listen and stop playing victim. Honestly we haven't all been bamboozled even some of the women who got married they know they married wrong. Tony thank you so much for this God bless you 🙏🏽 ❤
Uncle Tony truly and genuinely cares for us
So true! What you reap is what you sow! Gotta start with the man in the mirror and hold ourselves to a higher standard and be accountable!
PREACH!!!!! I have no children Because I knew I did not want that responsibility. Its a choice to have a family or not.
Amen to this message. I do believe that life is simple. If you raise your kids by living the right way, they then know the right way exists. Everyone knows what genuine love is, and as humans we want to emulate it. We just want to do it for the right person(s). Parents, you are first example of life these kids see, don’t have them looking to the world for answers because they are sure to be lost. Teach them accountability, responsibility, and give them the tools to be responsible humans. The world needs whole humans more then ever before. Thank you, Tony.
Tony is so funny he doesn't even try to be . But everything he says is FACTS! An he is so right ! About everything. Lesson learned.
Stop having babies from a man with multiple baby mama’s who don’t already take care of the kids that he already has 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💯
Thank you, Tony. I believe the Holly Spirit was with you here. In summary: The marital act belongs only in a God-centered, covenental marriage. God bless you ❤️
Oh no u didn't!!! strong Lion...You sound like the men that were around in my generation (I'm 66 yrs old) from the home, politician or the pastors. Thank you for remaining obedient...
I needed this message in its entirety at age 18💯
I wish some of these women on TH-cam could here this. It’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s the truth. This made me take another look at my life even tho I have my tubes tied I should still use protection or remain abstinent.
This is 100 percent truth. I am so glad they will have to answer to God.
Thank you for being a great husband and father, intentionally. Your commitment to them is humbling.
This is so true! This is why your messages are so appreciated. I know, I’ve gotten into relationships and compromised my standards and values because I didn’t love myself. If we love ourselves, we have more discernment to choose, rather than settle. Thank you for all of your messages.
The title says it all! I know he's about to go in!
Omgossh women he speaking the truth “Run the Hell On” put on the track shoes like sonic…
I’m sharing your message to every young person in my contacts. You teach truth. Sadly baby drama is systematic amongst the youth. People if you do nothing examine yourselves, examine your mate BEFORE you too are trapped holding the bag. Thank you Mr Gaskins.
Thank you Tony , no kids yet and the things I’m seeing makes me grateful I don’t 😩 it can wait VET is the word for the year!!
I totally agree! 💯 its not politically correct with the under 30 crowd and really society as a whole doesn’t want to hear it but this needs to be said- just because you’re old enough to crawl into bed with somebody and play house for a number of years does not make you husband or wife material
Again 👏🏾 👏🏾
He Not lying about Chicago, it’s horrible out here! People near me are having children ‘’JUST BECAUSE’’.
I had to listen to this twice!
Preach sir, preach!
I want to send this to my younger cousins. Lord I pray the generational curses break with them.
Speak Tony - ppl need to listen this about principles and know -this is how cycles get broken Amen.
WOW !!! Tony you Preached another AWESOME message. "You do not run from the Smoke ". I hope the listeners enjoyed this PROFOUND lesson. ❤😇🙏
Preach Tony!! I was blessed to raise 5 responsible children/ adults ALONE PRAISE GOD🙏🙏🙏👏👏
Thank you Tony, this is why I’m not having kids until I’m married
Why do women have babies with men that already have kids? There are men without kids ?
That part!
I don't get it either
Amen like seriously…I had to share this on FB because I needed people to see this and the reason I have standards etc
This was a hole word! Thanks. Ladies we have to do better. These babies deserve more ❤️ mother and father, College funds etc We have to do better
I don’t have any children because I am waiting until marriage. And I haven’t met a lot of men who are willing to do that. I refuse to be a baby mama. One day I want to be a wife and I want my first child to have a awesome father. Ladies we have to do better and stop settling for less. Yeah I refuse to date men who have children no thank you. Leave that drama alone. 🙅🏽♀️
Recently finished “A Woman’s Influence” it’s so grounding, especially in times of self-doubt. Just getting started on “The Dream Chaser”. Loving that Tony narrates his own audiobooks.
True that. How the man treating you is exactly how he gon be even after you have child with him.
TG is on point....he is speaking nothing but facts. Thanks Tony for putting your hand on the pulse on todays trending topics👏👏👏👏👏👏 too many FATHERLESS HOMES!!!
AMEN Tony Gaskins!🙌🏾💃🏾 I PRAY that others share this REAL LIFE MESSAGE with others. I have sent this video to my young adults asking that they share it with others and to my coworkers to share with their family. Tony, you are truly and indeed doing God's work and I "sho nuff preciate cha."🙌🏾💃🏾🙌🏾 May God always bless you and your beautiful family. 🙏🏽👑🙏🏽🤎🙏🏽
Tony is speaking facts!!!!Life will hit you hard when you least expect it💯always depend on yourself FIRST🙏🏾
MY GOD!
In my opinion, out of all of the videos you've recorded this one has to be the most heartfelt message you've delivered with so much wisdom. Thank you Tony
God Bless You Tony Gaskins! This was your most powerful message by far. Our children are our future. Thank you for bringing valuable insight on your platform.
Yesss those irresponsible men is going to Pay from God👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I’ve got so much respect for you and your Queen. This is the truth. Thank God for you! Love from The Bahamas 🇧🇸
Tony you are speaking the truth!!!!! I’m over there nodding my head! Bless my brother! 🗣🙌🏾