If You've Been Cheated On, DON'T Collapse! | Dr. Peterson Explains Why You Feel What You Feel
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2021
- What happens with your past, present, and future if you've been cheated on & betrayed on a psychological level?
#JordanPeterson
#PursuitofMeaning
This is his best book, in my opinion: geni.us/DrJP
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This is his best book, in my opinion: geni.us/DrJP
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God will heal your heart!
After being cheated on, you look back and realize all the overthinking weren't actually overthinking, things just didn't add up and you ignored the signs.
yup, brutal reality
this is soo true, i was constantly overthink. i even felt like i was crazy or had unrealistic expectations. all i did was ask him to spend more time with me, to text me good morning, to call me. found out he was cheating and i was not surprised. but i found out while he never called me or made time for me. he took her out, was constantly texting her. i should not feel insecure as its not my fault, but now i just wonder why he never did those stuff for me, if the is something wrong with me
same. my heart is shattered into pieces.
Unbearably painful , I think the admission was by accident but I will never have closure, while he was gone he planned his death and she carries on but I had to see this and I know she knew what he was going to do. 21 years I’m not even sure how to get through another day, my heart goes out to all of you and it saddens me even more that I had never heard of JP before his death , I don’t think I ever opened you tube on my phone before this . Thank you JP .Very insightful indeed , often helps me to know that I’m not alone with my thoughts , 12-23-2022 I’m still so broken….
Yes. He talked to girls our whole relationship. "Friends" he told me not to worry about. He claims he never slept with any of them, but either way just that emotional cheating hurts enough. The ENTIRE relationship. I'm hurting so much.
I feel so broken and empty. How can someone be so cruel when you’ve shown them nothing but love and dedication
i’m in the same boat man. my girlfriend of 4 and a half years decided i wasn’t enough for her and got a guy friend to give her attention. started comparing me to him and i found her love journal on her ipad. she got mad at me for snooping and said that i didn’t trust her. the same week they go to the mall 54 miles away from where we lived.
@@mrmister115 I’m so sorry for your pain brother. I think we always know deep down when something doesn’t seem right due to our instincts. I also suspected something was wrong and found out he cheated on me. We’ve been together for nearly 8 years. I thought we were happy and I no longer know what to believe in.
Im feeling the same I know that pain it is the worst pain on earth
My trust is broken and I don’t want give and get love anymore
True love exist but not true people
Because men
I'm the same. THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE
My ex cheated on me. Being cheated on, betrayed, is the most painful thing one should endure in his/her life...
I have chosen to move on and recover myself.
We can do this guys ❤️
Honestly mate it’s fucking terrible, was on a night out with my mates, she broke up with me 2 weeks ago because she said she’s got feelings for another man, and on top of missing her about that breaking up with me, just found out she cheated on me in May with someone I thought was a good friend. Been with her since March 2020, and couldn’t have felt more betrayed in my life. It’s still new to us so we have every right to be angry, but let’s hopefully improve ourselves and do better!
@@ProactiveNinja I hope the best for you !
@@ProactiveNinja See my comment above your, you may be chocked and NO I'm not kidding. My strategy is just avoid them now.
Just found out after 7 years my now ex has been cheating on me with a coworker for months while I was at home taking care of her kids. Completely gutted
@J I’m sooo sorry. What a POS-both of them!- to do that to you 😭😡😡Be glad you got away from that. Get into counseling to process all this pain. Do NOT get into a despair cycle. FIGHT for your life! I know it hurts like hell now. But you can do this and love again and have the Best life ever. Praying for you, sweetie
Once they've cheated on you you look back on situations in the past and the many times you gave them the benefit of the doubt with the cloak of trust and now it starts to make sense.
Even if you have been betrayed never give up on finding a good person. There are good people out there.
And never give up on being a good person.
I'm 62 .I was non judge.mental when I found out he got none mo rhs I. Prison for a nasty divorce. His wife poured a cup of coffee on new computor a d he flipped out .I have known his for 18 yes. He will never change I returned his dish back abd in co es his ex wife doing dishes in his mothers sink. I've watched him lose give people to death.... I drove him tp tje vey er in Boston thirty miles when his intestines burst open ... Drove his drunk brother to chemo.....I've always Ber. His good friend. We did dare we broke up because he yelled and help me in achaor for five minutes holding me down offering wanting to to punch me
An yet everything I thought about being kind wax wrong .He didnt even love me.
Until when i can find my person.😅
@@mac-ju5ot to be honest pouring a cup of coffee on a new computer is enough to make any man flip especially if the man is not earning so much. In this sort of case don't you think women get away with alot? How was he supposed to get his new computer back to good state? Would any court hear his case and ask the lady to replace the computer? It's a shame women can act without consequence and when I man responds in the heat of the moment , he goes to prison
You can’t control what other people do, but you can control what you do. Decide ahead of time that you’re going to stay in peace. And you’ll tap into that power to remain calm.
Deciding to stay in peace 🙏
When you are betrayed you will never be at peace any more.
Hard to prepare mentally for something you've never been through.
At the moment 75% of the German population is under the control (mass psychosis) of their government and some health experts....And people (?) do what the government wants: to exclude certain and targeted minorities.
Great advice , then you will feel any misalignment and take action
Never go back to your ex no matter how much you miss them
Very true. I made a mistake years ago
I made the mistake of goin back after so much betrayal and found out again today he cheated on me again
Remind yourself they are an Ex for a reason!
I made this mistake and whenever I would go back to an Ex the SAME issues would come up again.
Please don’t do this to yourself.
You will be better off alone than with that jerk!
You were born without him, you survived without him before, you DON’T need him to live a stable, peaceful life.
YOU CAN DO IT.
God can help you be strong:
‘I can do ALL things
through Christ
who strengthens me.’
- Philippians
💕
@@markh9755just went back with her I’m still broken 😢
My Ex Wife & The mother of my first born child cheated on me with her ex, I stayed with her cause I didn't want my first born growing up in a broken home, plus I know how that feels and it sucks.
Months later, my mom passed away..🕊️🙏🏾..on top of that I cought her flirting with him again, coming to bed 3..4am... texting him sending him naked pics late at night.
Now I'm a single dad and I live with my daughter ☺️ I'm not worried about another female at the moment, unless it's my daughter. I'm working on my mental and enjoying living in peace & happiness with my daughter.
I know my mom is smiling proudly
☺️ I love you mom, thank you 🙏🏾🕊️
A Loser is someone who only does things they like. A winner is someone who does something even though they don’t like to.
Mad Respect for you.
I cought my wife talking with another man throw voice msg,sending hearts and pics,i confrunted her and i asked for an explination, she said to me she did nothing wrong ,she just had a conversation with a polite man ,and then she said this subject is over ,and then she left me ,we have a 8 month old dautgher who is my universe,i tried to find a middle way ,tried to explain that this is wrong ,and we are married ,we have a vow ,and the most important thing a daughter that i want to grow in a family with a mother and a father,she said if she is not happy the baby is not happy,and then i realized i married with a narcicistic woman,i saw the signs but i ignored them ,i tried to make it work for the sake of our kid.She said 3 weeks after this happened that i wasnt give her atention......man i busted my ass working hard ,12 hours per day ,from monday till friday ,and saturdays as well,to make sure they have everything ,sleeping 4 hours per day ,because sometimes its like that when u have a new born baby,but i was so motivated,i was a fucking machine ,i didnt care ,all i cared is that i need to provide and norish for them ......now she left me with the baby ,sometimes she answer the phone so i can see her ,sometimes i call and no one answer......im devasted ,i fell that i have no reason to keep going ,and i never thought im gonna miss my baby so much ,not being able to see her growing ......
I'm going through this now. I feel like im dying
@@dragomirdanut2451 if this happened to me she'd not walking this green earth anymore
It hurts so bad when u don’t expect it
It is
You always expected it and you know it. You didn’t want to admit it and you just didn’t pick the day it all unravelled. But you knew
@eternalriver7866 no most people don't expect it. Ladies act as if it's normal it's not.
@@eternalriver7866if you’re speaking for yourself that’s fine, no most of us didn’t know.
Loyalty is the basic thing in any relationship. Without it everything else is just meaningless..
Not true. Monogamy is a man construct enforced by fear, violence, oppression and trauma. Men and women are not monogamous and never will be.
Men are polygamous and women hypergamous.
Men of value should take many women. Women who want valued men shall learn to share.
That's reality.
That does not help the person involved. That synopsis is not helpful.
Actually man things that serve us are human construct. Laws are human construct. So you want to tell me we should give up on laws and just let people rob and kill each other?@@thepope9023
Loyalty finds its match in being broke. If a man is broke, worse, he doesn’t exist, your loyalty leaves
And it means it makes all the memroies fake.. that's what hurts about it is when someone cheats it's not that they end the relationship, they make everything that came before meaningless. And then you're supposed to rewrite all these what you thought were beautiful memories as time spent together with someone who actually didn't give a shit
I only lasted 8 months but what scared me was the way she admitted to sleeping with multiple guys, and mocking me for not having nobody else. Some people are evil. You dont need them in your life.
Yep she did the same thing to me, I think it has to do with some form of past trauma.
@gabrielt.1678 in the long run you dodged a bullet
She’s horrendously insecure and it shows. My ex would weaponize jealousy as well. Why do these freaks want to be in competition with they people they claim to love? It’s a genuine mental disorder.
It happened to me too but with a guy in the span of two years :’> , he had another two girls on the side
Right😢
I never thought my relationship would end this way. ❤
Same, I put my all into a man to where it's left me depleted and empty while he's laying up with the woman he got pregnant when cheating. I have never cheated and never would. Like walk away and leave the honest ones be. Why cheat? I'm so broken right now that it's suffocating me.
Yep, all the trust and good times and promises and giving everything I am to a lie. It hurts so bad and destroys self esteem & confidence. It's wrong but I'm learning to deal with it and move on because I know I'm not a bad person and realised that she broke the trust the bond & decided to destroy the relationship by lying and sneaking around for selfish gratification from another., not me! That's when I snapped out of the pitty
party & realised she was not worth my time or thoughts anymore let alone my tears. 👍💔🐍
The pain is so suffocating
Same I love my wife all of my heart yet she change after we been together for 3 year . Later on I find out you was cheated on me with my business partner, our 9 year relationship gone for that . I feel so much hurt inside .
Same
My husband of 19 years threw me away without a moment of hesitation despite all we built together including our 5 yo twins. We’ve been divorced for a little over a year. And, I honestly have no idea why he would choose someone he barely knows over our family. Dr. Peterson is exactly right. You question your present, past and future in a way that is the definition of chaos.
Google "limerence". It might help you make sense of his terrible decision to abandon his family. It happened to me, that's how i figured out what happened, or at least understood the mindset.
Hope your doing well now🥺
I truly am so sorry to hear that! I'm going through the same thing, we've been together for 14 years and she fell in love with my best friend.
Trying to focus on our two children now, but it's the absolute worst!
How are things 1.5 years later?
I got left after 19 years too. We are better off. Seriously!
sorry to hear this hope you find happiness again someday. my partner who ment everything to me cheated after two and a half years and the pain is unbearable. i devoted myself to her and her 3 beautiful young kids, i developed great bonds with each of them and now ive had to leave her and exit there lives completely. This is only a short amount of time invested compared to you so i can only imagine your suffering and my heart really does go out to you. some people are incapable of loving and are so cold. hope karma catches up to them.
I got cheated on two days back and ended it. I feel exactly what jordan is describing. Questioning everything. The past , the present , my own judgement, whether i can trust my judgement or not. I feel like im in a haze. Its changed my brain. The pain of betrayal and the after effects of it are so real. Please pray for me guys. If u have any tips i would love that.
Do not stress yourself about thinking of her, because she knew exactly what she was doing, she knew that if she got caught cheating that would end the relationship, she might apologize to you cry, do not humiliate yourself by going back, if you do go back know one thing, she cheated on you once, Shame on her.. Cheated on you twice shame on you! Dump her and never contact her again,
If this is not going to matter to you in 5 days or 5 months or 5 years, why spend 5 min thinking about it. Also happed to me 2 days ago, caught red handed with another guy, 3 years down the drain, i feel good that a cheater is out of my life..
@@psychosykes3343 easier said than done for some of us.
Take a step back for a while and ponder
Find your life purpose and narrow your self toward your goal
Build your self toward who do you want to become in future
Learn new things
Don't be afraid of failure
Get up and move on
You are not a jelly fish
Make your self worth
Develop your self
Some pain is good for self-development
We don't learn from happiness, we learned thru suffering
Never move on before take a lesson from past mistake
Bless you ❤❤❤
Keep your head up. One day you'll find the right woman and you would have never had the chance to meet her unless this one cheated and it will feel like it was meant to be
I came here to look for solace. After reading the comments, it makes me feel less lonely about the current experience. It’s been three days since I was cheated on so I’m just looking for things to help my mind stay busy or distracted. I’d like to share but it’s such a long story, however thank you to all the people who did comment and share
If you need to talk man I’d love to sit down and listen even as a stranger.
Im sorry. Im going through it too. how could he be so evil
can i ask if your doing any better now, does it get better?
@@christiangalvan9341 I appreciate it, sincerely 🙏🏽 I am coming to terms and doing a lot better
@@killerkoolaid192385 I’m sorry to hear that, I really hope you’re doing well. Learning to accept what we cannot control is part of the healing process
I’ve had a gut feeling and I was unfortunately right, so heartbroken tonight, but with time I hope I will be okay.
I hope you're feeling better or at least somewhat better.
Same, my intuition told me exactly what was up. I ended up being right about everything- meanwhile he cried and swears he loves me. But there’s no coming back to a cheater. Hope you healed by now and that I’ll get back to myself too soon ❤️🩹
To you reading this right now...I know, yes I know what you’re going through. I need you to know that God is holding you right now. You are gonna get through this. Your breakthrough is coming. Know that God will replace everything which you have lost. If HE is asking you to put something down, it’s because HE has something much greater for you to pick up later on. Lastly, know this.... Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some storms are here in order to clear your path. Know that no matter what lies ahead for you, God is already there.
I needed to read this. Thank you. I found my spouse working towards an affair 1 year ago, but the presence of porn and looking at other people in a sexual way has been going on the entire marriage. I’m focusing on loving my spouse sacrificially as Christ loves us, but it hurts like hell. I still don’t have peace, just a broken heart. I hope God gives me understanding and peace soon. I don’t know yet which cause this storm has. I don’t even know what to do or how to get help. I wish I could talk to Peterson in person.
Thank you so much. Peace be with you ❤
I hope god is there for me. I don't feel like living in this hellhole.
❤
Thank you I needed thiss❤
My ex told me that she had “forgiven herself.”
How gracious of her.
Omg😂😂😂 how gracious Indeed
Typically, if you are in a relationship with a cheater, many other aspects of that relationship are abusive, as well. The discovery of the cheating can act as a catalyst, a bright line violation vs ambient subtle abuse, that it gets you out. And, that can be a painful blessing.
Wow, great perspective!❤
This is so true! My fiance cheated on me. It was only afterwards that I was able to step back and take a good look at his behaviors all along. He was a lying, manipulative jerk who teased me in front of people for his own amusement. As much as it hurt that he cheated, it was exactly what I needed to get away from his abuse.
At the very least, the partner has probably always been selfish and the cheating is just the apex.
You're exactly right. It took catching my ex cheating on me to truly break free from her, it has been extremely painful however, as if I cut the fat off my body.
I would have never left her unless I caught her cheating, and by divine right, that's exactly what happened. We have a son together and our son just turned a year old when I found out what his mother was doing behind my back, taking advantage of me and how hard I worked for all of us.
I still struggle every other day with what I discovered, the truth will set you free, but it may come with a price...
A blessing in disguise.
Everyone in this comments section is a faithful person who has been cheated on. Yes, we do exist! Yes, we can eventually find someone who respects loyalty as much as we do. Cheaters suck and i wish you all the best in recovering from this trauma
All I can say is... trust your gut.
My wife cheated on me, and I really feel lost. Months later I am filled with anger, struggling to forgive, constantly sad, and unsure about the future(or past). I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I'm in the exact same boat. I even have three kids with her and sadly, I walked in and caught her. Nothing makes sense anymore and I feel like garbage every moment with every breath.
Hope you found some joy my friend....
After beeing cheated on in two different occations, by two different people......my ability to trust anyone ever again is ruined. It's so hard to find that trust again, it's probably gone forever. The distrust spreads so rapidy outwards to everyone around me, spiraling out of control. I've become so stoic and nihilistic because of this, nothing affects me anymore. People can die around me and I couldn't care less, even familiy members. My life is great in all other aspects, money/job/confidence and all that. But the lack of trust is holding me back. Hopefully someone comes along and proves me wrong.
I can understand you very well and I'm sorry. A good start would be trust yourself and your gut feeling!
Thanks for writing down were you are on trust !!
I am in the same situation, it's so hard to find trust again in people !
I think it's also protecting your self , from the pain of being hurt again by someone you trusted with all your heart. Someone you loved so much, you would give her your kidney, if she had asked.
My friend, that is what life is about. Adjust your eyes for the next occasion so you can identify any possibly negative signs in the people you want to have a relationship with in the future - and don't blame it on the world, nor you, nor people. Use those experiences in your favor. In a lifetime one may fall from dozens of little mountains - and then climb them back again. Look up to your ideals and you will find the trust you need. Stay strong, you will make it!
@@jp6792 Ha I virtually gave my kidney to my older sister and she and my other sister n bro n laws basically disowned me subsequently . I know I played a part in this and have made strides to make amends but on deaf ears . We’re essentially all on our own in the final analysis and always have been .
@A M E R I C A N S I B E R I A Spot on . 👍🏽
This describes perfectly what I have felt since being betrayed and finally divorcing. It’s like every memory of 20 years is questionable. So very sad.
Agree - I think he was fake to me the entire 34 years we were together (well I was with him - he was off with others the whole time) and the relationship was all a lie
Cuz he cheated on me for the entire 34 years we were married / dating
He never meant his vows
He never cared
Tried to destroy me
And devalue me
And turn everyone against me
When he was the one abusing me and cheating on me
Very much a snake
You Question The Life Wasted on a Cheat... Cripples ya.
In the bedroom, Got told what i wanted to hear,,, Was all a lies...
I can definitely identify something that would be right up near the top of the list of ultimate betrayals, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s the one true ultimate. I would say it would have to be a two-part betrayal. The first part would be lying to the other person in order to manipulate them to cause some other situation to work out in your favor; and doing it many times. The second part would be, after getting caught and exposed, incorporating the exact same type of manipulation into your acknowledgement of fault and corresponding apology. So that the apology itself was just another way to trick the other person into being your tool yet again. The reason I consider this to be a nearly ultimate betrayal is that it absolutely precludes the ability of your victim to ever trust you again. You have not only damaged their faith in you, but you have damaged the mechanism by which their faith might one day be mended. So there’s no path back. Other types of betrayal seem to have a path back toward trust. Even turning a friend in to the police and getting them incarcerated is something that could be forgiven. But concocting ongoing manipulations, and then using your apology as just another opportunity to manipulate… there’s no path to rebuild trust after that. Additionally, I could've gotten hurt from the impact of been cheated on. I'm glad that i got to know ASAP, through METASPYCLUBLLC@GMAIL. COM and I appreciate the content you put out for us .
I was cheated on by my ex boyfriend with his ex-wife. I decided to give him another chance and it was an absolute huge mistake because I did not have a life anymore. I lived every day to watch him, to worry about him, to focus on him and to focus on her trying to come back into his life. The worst months of my life, but now they're done. Broken up for good.
I am going through that right now. I just recently found out that my husband of 30 years has been having an affair with his ex girlfriend from college. I didn't find out from him, but from her. And he only broke it off with her because our son found out and made him. I have been desperately trying to save our marriage by love bombing him and being initmate with him every day because I am so scared he will look for any excuse to go back to her. I can't sleep or function at my job because I am constantly thinking about it. I am starting to hate myself and wonder if the last 30 years was a lie.
I know you can forgive but what about forgetting. how can you save the relationship. Why would you want to ?
@arcane7298 What a horrible upset! I hope you are taking care of yourself! Look into midlife crises. Your husband may be going through existential hell and looking for external validation. It has nothing to do with you. You must respect yourself when he isn’t and take loving care of yourself. Take time apart. Become independent. He may get through this and become a better person in a few years, but it’s not fun to ride the roller coaster with him 😢
I don't usually comment but tears are just running down my face as I read through these comments. Thank you for sharing. My husband and I had horrible childhoods and thats when we met was in our teens. I never wanted to get married because of everything I had witnessed but after eight years I said yes. Now, I'm still here but I'm broken. I remember a couple days before the truth came out, I knew.. the pain that escaped me wasn't just heartache, I lost my soul that day.. I don't know if I even want to bring my soul back. I don't want it to get hurt anymore in this life so for now I'm a shell.
I just found out I was cheated on last night… 1 week from our 5 years. 2 months from our wedding…. I’m lost and struggling.. finding out you never knew the person hurts.. then realizing that you don’t your self because the person you thought you knew isn’t… stay strong stay up..
Im so sorry bro. I hope you would be fine
It hurts worse than hell. :)
It hurts worse than hell. :)
I’m mid 30s and 5 years go quickly. Why are you not thankful that you’re able to uproot yourself from this marriage and no longer have to be involved with a cheater. You should always let the other person have her and be thankful that a cheater is no longer your concern.
@@standground7956 over these weeks I’ve found this to be a blessing. I’m now able to be the best me and and the best father to my child on my own. I’m still healing in many ways but there is nothing but positivity moving forward
It’s true when you are not happy, sometimes the universe will give you a way out.
Being cheated on was one of the most painful thing you can experience the betrayal they caused will ruin your trust to anyone. But that shouldn't stop you from living your life. Those who betray you will never be happy they will die alone and lonely.
Will they get karma for cheating?
Yes, don't worry nothing gets unpunished@@sanjanagrover7436
I dont want them to die lonely and unhappy because i still loved that person i saw her good sides and they’re great she fucked up and i have to leave but i dont want her to be unhappy still thats why its so hard
@@sanjanagrover7436
‘A man reaps what he sows.’
- Galatians
💕
@@user-ex3mx7hk4l indeed
I have endured deaths and I am telling you being cheated on and betrayed is the worst feeling I have ever experienced. Now has been 5 weeks since I got cheated on and I am still trying to find the light.
Me too
@@ChzCake Hope your doing well. Wanna talk about it?
My husband cheated on me and hid the fact from me for over a year. He confessed about it because he couldn’t endure the pain of hiding it. He explained the things that led to his action and one of the reason was the fact that he felt the connection with her he couldn’t have with me.
Dear
Its been few days for me i am numb she had started acting weird i knew it was red flag that there might be someone but i couldnt have stopped
3 years and I’m still in pain. My insecurities are enormous. I no longer feel handsome. I no longer feel confident. I honestly don’t know if I’ll recover.
😢
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I hope you feel better soon & meet someone that’ll value you & treat you the way you deserve ♥️
"What do you do in the garden, given that there's a snake in it? You become the master of snakes." -JBP
Being cheated on is the ultimate betrayal. Staying and putting your life on repeat, like groundhog day, only to hide the shame, feel the pain, and destroy your self esteem, on a daily basis, is the definition of insanity, but this is what I've chosen for my life. The cheating was 5 years that I know of... Married for 27 years, but definitely not living the concept of marriage, or happiness. Over time, a lack of intimacy, a sexless marriage, years later, fast forward, he chooses to have online relationships now, for hours. I struggled with the dysfunction, struggled with the insanity of it all. I wouldn't recommend staying unless you can be fully honest, they with their infidelity and you about your feelings. I'm living proof that it doesn't work any other way.
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Never lose your hope.
I’m here to get some mental and motivational help. I Was cheated on yesterday, it’s painful and I’m struggling, I don’t understand it, it’s like I’m nothing but I give my all and I was burnt.
I've been there. It hurts right now but now is the time for you to let go. Let go of the memories you had, you don't have to make a decision right away. Just take care of yourself and don't force anything ❤
@@rainbowsandshi time heals. I have moved on 🙂
I found out when I was five months pregnant with our first child. But I had to be honest with myself…. What did I do that left him wanting and made it easy for temptation to present itself ? Surely what he chose to do wasn’t my fault, he had a choice after all…. But what made it easy for him to fall into temptation’s hooks? It was my lack of communication. Our relationship had everything else needed to survive. Sex, finances, intimacy is various forms, etc…. But what it didn’t have is communication. Knowing that I failed him too is what allowed me to forgive him and try again.
Same here i want to hurt myself
I'm so so sorry. I'm.61 and my bf is 75 - we've been a couple since 2004 ( he is 13 yrs older ) I assumed the sex was over but yesterday found an injectable medicine for “ intercourse “ in his fridge! This was like getting hit in the face .
I feel exactly like this guy talking. I've wasted 20 years almost
It hurts to let go of a cheater. She begged me for another chance, and I tried but just couldn't look at her the same ☹️. Why wouldn't she just end things instead of hurting me. I just don't understand. 4 years down the drain. It just sucks so bad.
I asked him the same thing. Why didn't you just leave me alone?
This is how I felt with my kids father. He came back to me and wanted to try again and I gave him that chance because I wanted to maintain our family. But he simply betrayed me again and then messages me saying “you don’t deserve a piece of shit like me, you deserve better.” And it’s like, if you knew that then why did you come back into my life to hurt me again you fuçking worm?? These people are beyond selfish.
Will they get karma get cheating?
@@sanjanagrover7436 There is no justice in this world.
@@bronzemv4440 Why do u think so??
God will punish that person I believe it , I trust God 😊🙏🙏
This is extremely hard to go through.
Karma will do the job , just walk away , it's a reflex, takes one second of your precious time to do it. don't listen to fake coaches or fake preachers , just do it.
This is where I’ve been for the last two years. Perspective helps understanding but understanding doesn’t always help.
Understanding doesn't take away the pain
No... I do hope it gives strength for the future? I feel pretty lost and destroyed after a year and a half....
@@vanessarenae5169 hi
My bf got attracted to a girl he met at his college,and they started talking to each other,he hide the fact that he is single when she asked...
Later he misbehaved with me,nd i asked him reasons,so he confessed that he is in touch with this other girl,nd said he is interested in her
Later on,that girl went with some other boy,nd i also fought with him,he asked for forgiveness and i agreed to stay
Now it has been a year since then,but i still think of those reasons.He told me he didnt felt that i loved him,so he wanted an option.
I feel angry at him for that thing,i wonder what if i didnt discover about the affair in earlier stages?
I often worry what if he will do it again,if he gets some better choice in future?
He has tried winning me back,showed me commitment in this one year,but whenever i think of that time,i hate him and get grumpy,to which he will oppose and say i got punished for more than the mistake i did,and i was just attracted to her,i didnt cheated on u,but i think of the possibilities that could happen if they would have been in touch for long..
Please suggest me what to do,I feel awful
He’s so true when he says it disrupts your “fixed” view of the past. Almost ever single happy memory I have of my marriage, including the birth of my daughter is now clouded in a fog of uneasiness and sadness due to her affair ongoing through those times. Happy vacations we had ended with her texting him that she was so miserable without him. The birth of our daughter is marred by the fact she had been researching paternity testing prior to giving birth. Times spent with our friends and family now make me relive the pictures I found of her sneaking off to the bathroom to send him nudes. The raw moments I opened up to her about the pain my mother’s affair had on me now make me laugh in a sad ironic way knowing she was consoling me that night and meeting him before work the next morning. My 30th birthday started with finding out she had met him for sex that very morning, which was after I had already caught her and she promised it was over.
It causes wounds that will never truly heal, at most it’s like having a scab that is continually ripped off as soon as you think it’s going to heal.
You are telling my story but with the sexes changed
My dad had an affair
My husband cheated on me our entire 34 year relationship
While I was pregnant at home he was off meeting other woman
While I was delivering our first son he took off from the hospital
When he said he wanted to do something together he’d change his mind as soon as he went to the bathroom to text one of the many many prostitutes or anyone who would have sex with him
So many lies
Nothing was real
Forever tainted and scarred and broken
and the worst part is, that's only 20% of the things she did that you know. You still don't know 80% and there's absolutely no way to find out.
It can heal. You have to get out of thinking about how you were wronged. You can’t control what anyone else does, but you do have total control of what you do. Hold your head up high! You were courageous to love another, patient and even forgiving on many things. You poured all your hope into a boat with a big hole in the bottom. It’s sad, but you can learn and move on and yes even heal. Best of luck ❤
so true…lived a lie for over 40 years…facing the truth was devastating…
I stayed to keep our family together and this is my home…we are basically just roommates at this point as I’ve been able to detach and not get sucked into his manipulation…for years I made the mistake of giving him my undivided attention..now he needs to earn it and giving me the respect I have come to accept in myself…freedom in Christ is becoming the person I lost and living the life that was meant to be…boundaries are so empowering
😢😭Yeah. It's so difficult to have been ultimately betrayed after 16 years.
I don’t understand why human beings can’t just communicate that they fell out of love… Why is it so hard not to tell someone you love them and get off the phone and go fuck someone else I don’t get it
It's like monkey bars. You don't let go of the first bar before you grab the next one. It's not good but happens all the time.
I think the villain in Mission Impossible III had a few similar lines about this, but more so he said it about women, after losing/ betrayed by his gf. “Women, like monkeys they are, won’t let go of one branch until they get a firm grip on the other branch”. Applies for both sexes.
Monkey branching. It’s selfish af
I took him back in after he abandoned me during my first pregnancy with our twins. After he walked out on me to be with some girl from work that he supposedly loved. And after I let him back in he goaded me into thinking I was being too distrusting, well it finally blew up today and I asked him when the last time he slept with her was and he told me it was three weeks ago. I got to feel my heart break all over again, I wasn’t overthinking anything, the deception was real. I told him to get the fuck out, and now I’m here crying over the death of the future I had hoped for. I’ve been so gullible. I am so ashamed.
You’ll be fine, some people learn this lesson through experience, just as you did. Cheaters always view forgiveness as a slap on the wrist.
Wow the same thing happened to me! Husband started cheating while I was pregnant with a girl he worked with and by the time our baby was 8 months old he walked out to be with her. I took him back after about a year and I really really wish I hadn't. I was living in a fairytale thinking he would magically be different and remorseful but instead now he has no respect for me, there's financial abuse, and I'm 99.99% sure he's cheated since then. He has no shame or remorse for what he's done either.
I never thought i would be cheated on in the worst scenario: i accidentally became the third person in a relationship that i did not have any idea. Painful, shock, sad, disgusted, disappointed, ....all of those feelings struck me at the same time. But i will never look back. I have bills to pay, work to go to, family to take care of, and i will survive. ❤
After building our business to be worth millions of dollars my business partner tried to steal the whole thing out from under me. But, it was my real partner, the wife of my youth that had encouraged me to to have shareholder agreements in place at the onset of starting the business that saved the day. Betrayal is a hard thing to deal with when it's not in your own character to ever conceive of the idea to do it yourself to someone else. Proverbs 18.22-He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
My business partner blind sided me and was going to split with me, his intent was I would walk away and retire with my half, I stayed and he left and had to start all over again. It hurt, we had been partners for 16 year without issue.
But the worst thing was a year after the split I found out my wife of 40 years had an affair 15 years prior. The pain is so intense, I don't ever wish this on my enemies.
He couldn’t possibly have phrases how I felt and what went through my mind when my ex cheated on me
deathanxiety
That’s correct !!
Because nobody else can feel, see it or understand it like you.
People can relate to the situation to a deep understanding.
But it’s your reaction to it that I personally think that will decide if you can come out of what I consider the worst thing I’ve ever been thru.
Expected or not, it's still painful.
The moral of the story is to stay single. Relationships are imaginary promises that have no value. People lie, cheat, steal, and kill all of the time. What makes you think you're immune from being the next victim?
If I recall correctly, I think Peterson called cynicism a "cheap approximation of wisdom" or something along those lines. When the cynicism is presented in your extreme form, I think Peterson's analysis is correct.
Right? 💔
@Hector Vris. I'm doing just fine by myself, thank you very much. I can not tell you or anyone else how to live. I don't force people to stay single. You are trying to force me and others that choose to live by themselves to go out and pursue trivial relationships with these potential thieves and murderers. Trusting people is what brings you into this position in the first place. It only takes one person to ruin things for everyone. I'd rather not fake being positive because others demand it. What is there to be experienced with other people in our lives? Suffering, violence, fear, hatred, and greed is being masked by fake positivity in our society. We even have to pay to live. This is the world we live in and I will choose limit my participation with this corrupt society by people that refuse to stand up for themselves or others that suffer.
@@realitycheck4746 Bro, you are right 100%.
My aswell just never leave mom's basement either. Lol. I hope you are kidding. Or find god
Trust is pretty hard to rebuild when it's betrayed doesn't matter the amount of love you have given the person, you did yourself favor of being honest and loyal that my friends would help you on the journey of healing and building yourself again, it's the other part that decided to break that trust Not you, things will get better keep working on yourself and you will see for yourself ❤️
It hurts so much. Like SO MUCH.
People don’t realize the type of trauma they can put on your partner or spouse. Once that love life trauma hits, it’s hard for people to trust others. On the other hand boundaries is what prevents the love life trauma from happening.
"You become the Master of the Snakes." A great, truthful line.
Well I walked in on my ex doing something with another woman Plus he hits me and chokes me out whenever we fight and argue we fight and argue about four times a day and he is very narcissistic can somebody please give me advice about that
@@sunnydee3831 Call the police
I never believed this would happen to me, I trusted her and she betrayed my trust and everything we built for over two years. I imagined a future where we have a home together. I hate her and i love her at the same time. The Internal conflict i feel is crazy, The hurt is unimaginable and i need help to go through this phase of my life. I need to move on because i would always have that thought is my head that she was with someone else.
Going through the same phase, I feel numb, weak, and helpless. A 9 year relationship, she destroyed a family with a 6yrold & 3yrold. She is evil, not realizing how many ppl have been affected by her actions. NOTHING justifies what she has done to me and our kids. -don't hurt ppl that truly love you.
It hurts so bad it’s like a death almost. It hurts when you find out the one you thought you could trust disrespects you. I know I will rise and become stronger than I ever could be. I’m in tears but I’ll be ok. It’s gonna be a minute though. I’m just 😢😢😢😢 I feel like beating them into the concrete. Please pray for me. My heart will never be the same for relationships. I don’t trust anyone never will ever. The crazy part is I never did trust them. But it was the fact that there was so much they lied about. I could write a book on the things I been through with that person. I’m truly disgusted with myself. They were for the streets frfr.
I am going through it right now after 8 years together. It hurts so much 💔
I'm so sorry. We'll make it through ❤️
Same. 8 years relationship and here I am ❤
16 years together--same
the pain is terrible
how do you feel now?
I wss married to my sweetheart since student years, we never cheated on each others for 59 years the Lord Jesus protected our love, He had been, do not know the grammar, the rock on which our home was built.
This is an example of why spirituality is important. You have a hero to look to for morals and stories that teach about ways you could fail.
The problem is that organized religion become a monster. Instead of guiding properly with Jesus, they became manipulators that pushed people away. The world is currently paying for the sins of the largest churches on the planet.
Lucky for you, times were simple and communication was important. Today social media gets in between and ruins everything.
You only know what you have been told. When my grandfather died, the rock of the family, the perfect christian husband, his other daughter came out of the woodwork, that nobody ever suspected or knew about. Don't be so quick to think that you have the perfect relationship. What's done in the dark will be brought into the light.
@@funkmonster come on PLEASE don't ruin something that's beautiful. I understand that one shouldn't be naive, but your comment is why the quote 'people love ruining beautiful things, so keep your happiness to yourself ' exists. Well what if it's actually true? A time and age existed when human beings didn't sexualize themselves so much.
lucky you!
This is what happened to me, I’m still lost when I thought I was found, but I’m more lost after four of loving someone, and I found they lied to me for a year but now I’m not sure they didn’t lie for the whole four years. And ruined my trust, my love my self confidence. The feeling makes my want to kill myself every night when I’m alone. I was loyal and loving and tried so hard to make them happy, I forgot how to be happy myself.
I’m in the same place. I was lied to for an year through out our 2 year relationship. I was betrayed repeatedly.
Try hypnosis online. There's so many options. Some to move on, some to forget etc. Some of them have failed because I ended up dreaming about nasty hypothetical situations about the person who left me (not really cheating or infidelity but there was a different type of betrayal). But every single video works in cutting off or reducing the intensity of the memory, emotions the hurt. I recommend you try it.
Give yourself that self compassion, self love and patience for putting up yourself last. Love on You because You are worthy of love. And try to forgive although we don't forget the hurt they caused but it will help you move forward. And then you can attract someone who loves you as they see you love Yourself. We can't always have walls up because we will block love. Best we can do is learn to watch people's behavior vs their "words"
Dont fucking do it!
I had a traumatic miscarriage two weeks ago, physical birth, septic infection, surgery, and then found out he is on a dating website over the weekend actively looking for a new wife. I don’t know how to stop crying or feel how I’m feeling. I left for my sisters as soon as I was told about what she saw and messaged him about it and he replied as normal and ignored my question. Like he didn’t want to acknowledge it.
My relationship of eight years with my 3 kids dad ended February and these videos are a true blessing. This has been the one person who's been able to help me make sense of how I'm feeling and thinking, and truly wrap my mind around what's going on in my mind all the time. Thank you Dr. Peterson!!
Agreed
my ex thought having two girls would be okay, and after I found out that he cheated on me.. he went to go and tell everyone that I was the one who did.. zero remorse from that man.
The moment you realise it was you who break the trust it hurts a lot.
I will be a better human than i was yesterday it's the only way i can forgive myself
It will happen again unless you really learn about why you did it and correct what’s wrong.
I love all the light in all of you, I pray you all peace on your journey to healing. We're in this together, my wife broke my heart too, it's hard to see the light but we will overcome 🙏🏾
Jordan Peterson never fails to help me out of my deepest, darkest moments.
I was in a 2 years and 4 month old relationship...she kissed someone she met five days prior on april 30th.
NOT ONE MOMENT IN THAT 2 YEARS AND 4 MONTHS WAS PRECIOUS ENOUGH FOR HER TO HOLD HER BACK FROM KISSING SOMEONE SHE MET JUST 5 D A Y S PRIOR.
Sure, much of it was long distance, because she left for university while I was studying to get accepted to the police school in the same city where she learns.
(my sacrifice, only choose this particular police school so we can be closer)
but we imagined our whole future together. AND it was coming together, I got accepted, I just needed to do one more step and she f-d this relationship all up in the last minute.
I broke up with her the day she told me what she did. Her mother told me she cant understand me, in her mind it was just a "foolish naive mistake". Seriously?
I was always there for her, lifted her out of mental instability and this was my reward.
I feel angry, betrayed.
I always hated it when she hung out in the same group with guys who expressed their liking to her directly or indirectly but if i told her how much I dislike this behaviour, she insisted that she was in control and that i am not acting correctly, I am too jealous.
So much for that, eh? F my life.
We sorta fought with each other because of this guy as well, but of course she "was in control" and I was just some controlling dumb f.
I hate him too, but I wont do much about it... My future and career is more important.
Stay up buddy. I’m dealing with getting cheated on as we speak. Maybe I write it out maybe I’ll feel better and maybe it will help you feel better knowing someone relates.
I thought I knew this chick. She told me everything I wanted to hear. Everyone told me all her red flags that kept popping up and I wouldn’t listen. She seemed like she cared. Even still now, I still think she did.
I’m not sure if I pushed her to cheat. I’m really insecure about this subject because she was doing something another ex would do to me from my past and that ex cheated. My ex would have guys over that weren’t her friends but her roommates. She ended up cheating on me. This girl I’m with, has the exact same situation. She has no control over who comes and over. But they come over and stay the night. Every time. Tonight was different. Me and her were having issues all week. By issues I mean, she’s pregnant and she has decided to abort. I supported whatever she wanted to do. Anyways, the problems continued and tonight I was extra insecure. I kept asking her questions. She finally got fed up. Stopped texting me. Stopped having contact. I haven’t heard from her in 3 hrs and there was 3 guys over. I hope she didn’t cheat. But how am I suppose to believe she didn’t? How can I ever trust her again? Specially if she knew my insecurity with this type of situation. Shit hurts man. All we can do is focus on ourselves and find a more mature partner. Good luck to anyone that reads this.
@@TheKBKing21 Reading your experience in a simmilar situation to mine made me feel like i'm not alone in all of this. And it's true, we're not alone.
Don't ever accuse yourself for her behaviour, that was my first instinct too, but its not right. There is nothing to justify cheating, nothing. If somethings wrong in your relationship she should comunicate about it, she should let you know and not play games.
People are responsible for their own actions, not for the actions of others. Don't beat yourself down.
You arent possesive, you arent controlling, you just feel that somethings not right and your feelings are valid.
(I assume, if she ever told you something that bothered her you changed your behaviour after carefully listening to her so that its better for the both of you. Why is it that you were willing to change things when something bothered her but she won't do anything when something bothers you? She just makes you feel like you just have to accept it, right? Well, this is not okay.)
If she didnt cheat and you think the situation is salvageable try explaining to her without any anger, calmly why you don't like if other guys are around. Its not because you dont trust her but because you dont trust the guys, i assume. As a guy we know how other guys think and many are just waiting for the right oportunity to make a move. Girls often dont see this or dont believe it. My girl was naive too.
If any of those guys express their liking to her directly or indirectly she shouldnt hang with them anymore. Thats the limit that needs to be set.
And the reason? Because it hurts you. Your partner should care about you enough not to do things that hurt you.
Since i wronte the original comment my girl told me she will get together with the guy she cheated with despite saying that she didnt want to breakup and that shes sorry initiallly. She deleted all our pictures on our annyversary.
You deserve to be appreciated and understood. Stay strong, brother.
Just happened to me last night. She slept with her co worker who she swore she was just friends with. Any advice? I feel like shit
@@tylerhurd7890 Time heals what reason cannot. Spend that time doing what you truly value in life if you can.
Damn brother, gaslighted you were. I got called possessive and controlling and abusive. After i caught her cheating she cut her arm with my son in the house sending messages to my family to make her the victim. Of course she blamed me for everything, never made enough money for her to lay arpund the house fucking guys while i worked my ass off to keep my fake family happy, while she did nothing, coming home and being told i dont love her and she was gettting turned out by guys on tinder and snapchat gacking her out on the shit meth in town telling her to get away for awhile while i was gaslighted and betrayed. I carry the weight of her bullshit to this day. I made demands to know what was going on and was bullshitted again, then she slept with me claiming it was never physical while i believed her fucking lies eating her out and the gross ass guys early in the day while i was at work for years. It was her sick psychopath hollow lies and its a power play, she knew something that i didnt. Fuck em all. There horrible people, financial abuse, emotional blackmailing abuse, and she filed a protection order eight hours after sleeping with me and tried to blackmail me into counseling while she played victim and have a counselor gaslight me too because she believed her as well. Courts dont give a fuck about what women do to men. Took nine months to figure it all out...two years of divorce, fighting a power and controlling cunt trying to take my son away from me...complete entitled sociopath.
Fantastic talk. The speaker spilled a lot of info. It takes a few rewinds to soak all that information in completely and follow the idea flow fully. Presenting deep analytical insights like this help us grow as a collective. A lot of people were presented with an opportunity to learn something new today.
This was incredibly helpful for me. Thank you for this.
This, is far and away the best explanation of what it feels like to be betrayed ever put into words.
Jordan is a treasure and his understanding and ability to articulate in a way that is so understandable. I’m so grateful to have found his work and so thankful he shares it with us!
I actually sent this to the woman that cheated on me. Enjoy your life without me!
Your videos are wonderful. With so much care the pictures and the surroundings are chosen for JP wise words. It's like meditating on a higher level and learning at the same time. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.
He's basically describing me and my government.
Hahaha.Thats also how i felt when i was 15 years old 20 years ago and realised how bad the governments on this planet can be and how they betrayed us.I can totally relate to your comment✌
I think that recent years should awaken us all to the betrayal of government. Sadly, many many of us are still unwilling to admit it. They say that the first stage of grief is denial or disbelief. I confess I was not taken as unaware as most, but I didn't believe it was as bad as it IS. I think most of us are sort of in a daze--like zombies.
At my age I don't see any other option than just stop trying.
The only real love I've ever been given was from parents and grandparents.
No relationship has been a two way thing in my life.
I've never not been cheated on or used or abused.
I give up on ever actually being loved.
It's been made perfectly clear that I'm not good enough to be loved.
The only thing keeping me going is that my youngest kid is a non-verbal autistic child who needs me.
I'm the one who has taken care of him his entire life.
The only one who has been there for him.
He is my only reason that I'm still here.
I feel this way to minus me having a child. Im not good enough either.
I’m really sorry your trust has been broken, you deserve so much better, looking after your autistic son is the most amazing thing you could be doing for somebody in my opinion you are already far more amazing for that alone. It will be okay, time eventually heals everything.
everyday is hard for you yet you keep on fighting for the person you love, that already makes you an incredible human being and worth way more than the people who’ve hurt you in your life
At least you have your parents' love. You have your beautiful child. Some of us have no one.
Well said. Thank you for the insight.
I was 10000000000000000000000000000 percent cheated on, and both men are acting almost the same. I feel physically sick, I have no support, and I am in a great deal of pain daily.
If you're with any of them just go away... And get some help cause you're gonna bleed for a while
Live for yourself and be kind to others with limitation. Don't get into habits. Thats when you are the most vulnerable, no matter how much you think you are strong. Habits can get into your intimate soul whiteout u even realizing. So prioritise yourself and do good whitout getting into a habitual behavior
Cant believe,someone understands me so well and what i am going through.
I cheated and I regret it. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why I would ever do something this horrible. My values has always been about trust and cheating was the worst thing I imagined someone could do against me. I ended up being the cheater and I’m really trying to learn from it. At least I told her the day after I cheated and left the decision to her if she wanted to still keep going. I truly respect her since she decided to break up with me instead of keep going. I still love her and I still can’t see myself in another relationship. Right now I have problems respecting myself.
Don't worry too much. You are a human and it happens more often than people even admit. There are estimates that at least 70 percent of people have cheated in at least one of their relationships. We are human beings. We make mistakes. Learn from it. Be better from it.
I respect you for owning up to it. We all make mistakes. I wish my ex was able to own up to it. I confronted her two weeks before we split and she denied it even though I could tell by her face/body language she was clearly hiding something. Sure enough, she was monkey branching right before we broke up. Nearly 4 1/2 years together too. Again, keep your head high and learn from your mistakes. It takes a lot of courage to own up to that. Even though I don’t condone that act whatsoever, give yourself credit for taking the initiative to reevaluate yourself.
Yes because people often don't realize that even as the cheater you feel like you can't trust others and yourself anymore. It's traumatic on all fronts.
Update (1 1/2 year after);
As mentioned she broke up with me. She went through a very rough time, and I was struggling to respect myself. I was ashamed of my actions. Looking back, this was the toughest time of my life (mentally) yet. The reason is because I didn’t only disappoint myself, I also disappointed the love of my life.
I had 1 year of deep self reflection. We spoke again after 6 months and found the tone back, but decided that we should just leave the relationship behind because of all that has happened.
She didn’t see anyone else. We didn’t talk to each other apart from this time.
Fast forward to august 2022, we met each other by coincidence. We began to talk more and more and we came back together.
We’ve been together since august and we have never been stronger. I learnt from my mistakes, and she has forgiven me (but is still healing). I learnt to value our relationship from my mistake. I didn’t need to cheat for me to value the relationship, the trigger could be something else like going to a relationship therapist. But this didn’t happen. For me it was like a near death experience - you value life more after that, in this instance, her and the relationship.
Not every detail is laid out and context matter a lot. I understand if people don’t understand why we came back together etc. I just wanted to share my experience as someone who has cheated and wants to “recover” from this. There isn’t a lot of “help” for people who has cheated on a low point of life.
The best advise I could give is; just don’t cheat.
If you’ve cheated; learn from it, self reflect, be honest with yourself and never do it again. Most people often cheat when their at a low point in life or in a relationship. Cheating should never be the answer, but often is unfortunately. I don’t want to romanticise cheating, but context and explanation is important.
I commend you for learning, I commend you for wanting to be the better version of yourself. I can't explain to you the trauma betrayal causes, there is nothing like it and I've endured deaths. I've watched and held my father, mother and brother in their final moments, betrayal is infinitely worse.
My “ex” girlfriend cheated on me and she confessed it 3 weeks ago. I don’t know why but I live like a ghost. I can’t taste, I can’t enjoy life, I don’t believe in anything anymore. Why does it affect us so much? I feel like no one and I don’t know how long I can continue. If I can’t make it, please whoever reads this, try to continue, don’t be weak like me.
I found out last night that my boyfriend was cheating on me.
It's okay to be weak after getting beat down. You'll feel like shit for a while. Then a little less with each passing year. Don't give up, better yourself, direct your energy into self competence and you'll learn to love yourself more than she ever did, and realize that life is worth living.
you still here?
We eat pain for breakfast
This really speaks to my soul , I come straight to this video when I feel myself sinking again
I already collapsed your helping me get back up
The part When Jordan said " unless you enjoy that your spouse had an affair" inspired gleeful hilarious female chuckles from the audience confirms all the facts being brought into the light in this segment. He is so multifaceted at work...charming snakes in the audience.
This man is simply wisdom in its purest form.
Great descriptors!
BEST LECTURE I'VE EVER HEARD!
Starting at 1:09. Nobody can explain it that well who has not experienced it for himself...
I thought so too, but no indication that he's experienced it. Well maybe not with his wife at least.
Having been betrayed myself I was filled with terrible rage for weeks. I then exhausted myself, forgave him. And then discovered a month later that he was continuing in the other relationship. Now this was a 40 year marriage that I had to reconsider....being a believer I remembered that Christ himself was betrayed and still maintained his sacrifice. I know that my husband needs me more than I need him and I have moved on emotionally from the hurt.. He understands now that trust is fragile can be lost forever.
omg🙄
Well said.
I’m right now one of the most painful people in the world, it’s been 7 years, suspicious here and there but until 3 weeks ago she threw me the ultimate lair no way you can take anymore, everything became hopeless, I’m trying cope so hard and keep telling myself: if you are going through hell, keep going!
A really good combo: Lexapro & your nearest gymnasium
My ex girlfriend cheated on me and then got aids...
It was a series of frustrating experiences.
I think I lied to myself about the way it affected me and just imagined that she was crazy so I wouldn't talk to her anymore.
Petersons discussions have helped me come to terms with a lot of things like this.
My wife cheated on me, we had two year old son. So I stayed but over time I withdrew as a father, lover, husband. She's gone now but that betrayal will never go
I needed that
Thank you.
i was married for 5 years only to find out he was a narcissist and had never ever been faithful our entire marriage.
Try 18 years and lied to from the very beginning. Sorry you’re going through this.
I'm having trouble excepting that you can trust someone 100,% . That is not possible, in order to do that, means that you trust yourself 100 % every second of every moment in any event of any kind in how you would react or do. It's not possible. You can't trust one completely, it is always going to be limited in how much we trust. Right,,,,,,?
Agree 100% that we should teach our children (and ourselves for that matter) to be constantly aware that chaos (negative change) can happen at any time - and that we need to have the grit to power thru it and find a way to move on and handle it.
We can only vibrationally intermingle with souls as deeply as they’ve met themselves. Take nothing personal, it’s only vibrational. Much transpires from childhood trauma, when needs weren’t met, so people project their insecurities often times in the form of a cesspool of inner hate & turmoil.
Not just about trust, about authenticity. Being authentic in yourself (or not ). Having enough of a backbone to be who and how you want to be, strength in what you want. Not so hard is it ?
If we are all authentic enough, theres no shadow self to hide from. Peace, Happiness... Honesty.
Past notions of good and evil, chaos and order...useless if you expand to the deepness of your self. Only then can you really connect....Hard bargain. It seems.
Married 42 years, found out my wife had an affair 27 years ago. Been dealing/struggling with it the last two years. One and a half years of partial truths, new definitions of words and outright lies. It brings a new meaning to the pain Christ has when Judas detrayed him. My world came tumbling down, I only have my God, my kids and my job that I can trust.
Pure trauma. A pain that is hard to describe.
Why did she tell you after all those years about something that happened a long time ago? You are still married and she stayed with you. So it must have been just some stupid attraction. In some ways you are lucky because she is still with you and obviously she must still love you because she did not leave you. I was married 30 years and my husband left me for his affair partner
@@laurawalker546 sorry to hear that. The time in-between affair and closure was not the best. She slowly started treating me poorly, and toward the end just plain rude. No hugs or sex. I suspected a current affair. I told her I had enough and wanted a divorce. She was a wreck, and I started going through issues we had at different times of our life. When we got to "Bill" she slipped up and said something that didn't make sense, a month of arguing and yelling, more slipped out about him. Then I pieced together the two slips and her story fell apart. But she kept parts from me. She has lied to 4 councilors and a pastor multiple times.
This was so relatable
He is so insightful and totally relatable. - Jen Gable (Justeson)