I will say this… Flawdzilla is what most of us are… Flawd yet human. We are all beautiful. And so are you Flawdzilla. I just wish I could follow you again… but already following. So we are on the right track.
Excellent reaction video. Keep the faith and my the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit continue to lead you in your recovery. You and Tom both have powerful testimony to share. Keep on keeping it 💯! Thank you.
@@FlawdTV your whole story touches me man. Sounds a lot like my own battle and the bullshit i had to go through with my doctors...260mg of roxys a day, 8mg Xanax a day, Ativan, seroquel, they gave me a ton of shit to help my back pain and to sleep..i was told after being on that concoction for 12 years that I could go through a 2 year wein down to come off of them. I told my doctor I would never see him again and didn't. I wood cold turkey too and it nearly killed me. But that was worth never overdosing again.. to many friends lost, to many close calls myself. Hell, I just buried two childhood friends this weekend one Saturday and one yesterday Im tired of losing people to addiction. Toms song hits home hard and your reaction does too. The struggle is daily. Start strong and stay focused!
@@FlawdTV much respect brotha i related to pretty much everything you shared with us on this topic. im proud of you for making it this far, you have survived 100% of all experiences you have been through. congrats
THERES BEEN A FEW REACTORS WHO I DREADED WATCHING THE REACTION AND YOU WERE 1 YOURE SO HUMBLE AND EMOTIONAL FROM HAVING A HEART WHICH IS WHY HANGOVERGANG RELATES TO YOU BUT IM NOT STUPID AND IM 55 BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A MOMMA HUG SO IM VIRTUALY SENDING MY LOVE YOURE WAY I DEALT WITH WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT 25 YEARS AGO AND I STAND PROUD AND WILL FIGHT THIS FOREVER THE THROWING UP LOOKING LIKE MOTOR OIL ULCERS MY FRIEND. AND I HAD EM FROM THE OPIOIDS I WAS HOOKED ON ALONG WITH ALCOHOL AND COKE IT WAS NO JOKE COMMING OFF OF THEM 3 WEEKS I WENT THROUGH HELL TO COME OUT CLEAN I SEEN YOURE EYES AND AUTOMATICALLY KNEW YOU SUFFERED TOO LOVE YOU FLAWD AND ANYONE GOING THROUGH THIS YOURE NOT ALONE I LOVE YOU AND WILL PRAY FOR YOU. TO COME OUT CLEAN YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH HELL BUT ITS WORTH IT TO GET FRIENDS LIKE FLAWD AND HANGOVERGANG I LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU
Fifty and yes emotionally drawn to give mama hugs. You are loved and YOU ARE MEANT TO BE HERE. You matter, you are important and you would be greatly missed. SO I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. And I know Mo is glad you are here babe. But so is HOG I love you!
My story is similar... I'm a tatted up straight white male & military veteran. Flawd, if I saw you across a busy street, I'd run through traffic to shake your hand. We all have our own unique trials, but we ALL go through SOMETHING - God bless.
*imagine a clap between each of these words* We. Are. So. HAPPY. You. Are. Still. Here. Also.....whoever Mo is...hug her. Every single time you see her. From me/us and another from you. Much love.
Yesssss Sam!...if I may, I would also like to thank Mo 😁 thanks Mo! Thank God for all of you. My life has been in such a state for going on 5 years, Idk, its just nice, just to listen and read. Thank you again, you dont even know what youve done for me.
Proud of you for overcoming so much. I’m three years sober and the hardest part for me was how it affected my social life... my sobriety highlighted their addictions and they gave me a lot of sh** for it. But the peer pressure and judgment just made me stronger in my resolution to quit. I made all new friends from scratch and it was 100% worth it.
I'm not an addict and never have been, so I don't know the struggle. But I respect the hell out of anyone that can beat it and get clean and make something of their lives. If the least I can do is help this channel grow by giving it a sub, then I ought to at least do that.
Getting sober is one of the hardest things I have gone through and I still find being sober very difficult at times. This song is truly great though I love it and I'm excited to see your reaction!
Unfortunately a pill is not the answer...pills don't solve any problem - just masks the issues. When my son died (aged 47) the doctor wanted to put me on an antidepressant and antianxiety. I said "no, I think God wants to to feel the emotions or we never grow. It's been 5 years and I got through it without being medicated.
Sherry, John Keats addressed his emotions of a illness that led to his death in a letter written in the early 1800’s. It is, “Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” Thank you for sharing, I feel enriched for reading your spiritual testimony and how you endured the emotional pain of your lost. Blessings to You. . . .dennis
Sorry to hear about your son and totally agree about pills. Only time i can say that pills are ok is for really serious pain after car accidents or antibiotics for serious infections...
I think that everyone's pain is different and everyone needs different things to heal. Pills might work for some people along with therapy and lifestyle changes, but I agree that pills aren't the answer for most people.
I feel like Tom is showing his personal, internal struggle and for so many people it's relatable because we're all struggling with something. I struggled with exactly what he's talking about so I get that internal fight you have even years after you quit drugs/alcohol. It's a never ending struggle, some days more so than others.
This is why I like watching your reactions dude. Rather than just watch a video and give a half assed reaction, you talk to your audience and explain how the music makes you feel. Also, congrats on gettin clean!
I loved what I hated... Sums it up for me. Pain meds keep me functional but I hate being dependent on them. Opioids are a plague on humanity... Maybe I'll have an option one day. Great reaction Flawd'
This is why I follow you!! You and Tom both help me get through every single day!!! As a Recovering Alcoholic I can really connect with the thoughts and fears of an addict!! Yall are my heroes!!
Prayed that God gives you strenght to overcome this. You don't have to fight it alone. Invited Him to be your partner in this fighting. Sooner or later you'll win and stay winning. God is never lose in any battle.
Sometimes a reactor adds to the impact of the song and that definitely happened here. I'm happy to be one of over 50k people supporting you now. Love to you & Meaux ❤
I hope one day your dad will allow himself to get to know the incredible man you’ve become. I know I’m thankful for stumbling upon you. You’re loved by so many already. Real gravitates to real. And you’re incredibly real.
As most TM fans, I watch the music video and then go the rounds on all the usual reactors but out of all of them this is the one i specifically look out for. It really feels like he is speaking and connecting with you with no bs involved. You a real one Flawd
Tom did such an amazing job of speaking so much truth that some of us can unfortunately relate to. I don't know of any other artist really putting out this diverse of content right now, while also showing their struggles to help others out and make us all realize we all go through things that sometimes none of us want to share.
SO REAL. This is why you love Tom bc he is so real. I hope Tom’s vids bring us all together. We all have so much in common. I believe Tom really is bringing this home to all of us black and white.
Damn. That's the most detailed "withdrawal" experience from out of the reactors I've watched. Props for sharing it. I got the glimpse from my imagination of how it feels like. Really scary, but probably won't compare to the actual.
Hey man I just wanted to say you are not alone. Your story sounds a lot like mine. The strong ones make it out and the stronger ones stay out of it for good. You got this brother! Mad respect dude! Keep it up!
I love the vulnerability you show. I have been sober almost 12 years now and it was the hardest thing I ever went through in my life and I still have moments of weakness but all we can do is live each day luckily I have my children they are what keeps me sober and my firstborn was the one who made me see the light when I found out I was pregnant with her
Been there too, and it is absolute HELL! I am so thankful that Mo found you and saved your life. You are a blessing to all who hear you and I am honored to be one of those people. Love and hugs to you ❤️
Flawd, I just want to say that we love you bruv. You always show us that you are HUMAN just like all of us as well. I’ve been through so much of what you talk about and I have so much respect for you sharing with us. People like us have so much strength that we never realize until we become sick and tired of being sick and tired. Much respect homie
Don't have the strength to get off the floor right now... FELT THAT!!! My favorite Tom song to date, I cry every time I listen and remember how far I have come out of the darkness even though when you clean you have your mental health issues to deal with and nothing to help you deal.
This is the best, most relatable reaction to this song on TH-cam. I love how positive you are even after going through hell. You ARE inspiring. “Learn to see past the flaws and you will understand the perfection of the Universe.” - Ka Chinery
Your story really speaks so much to me. I've never dealt with drugs, but I have had problems with addiction in other ways. It's been a difficult thing that I've always had to struggle with for a long, long time. You speaking about having to just cut things out and about the devil throwing temptations at you non-stop is so real. When you look at repentance, it's not just asking for forgiveness and saying you're sorry. It's about wanting to change and trying to be/do better. That's what's important and I think that's something a lot of people don't understand. When you want to really change, you need to make changes in your life and that really speaks to me. I really needed this, thank you.
I'm with you btw, this subject matter most definitely hits close to home & anytime Tom does one of these it rocks me a bit, but in a good way👍🤘HogFam & FlawdSkwad for life
Tom has a hard way of holding a mirror up so we have to see ourselves, I personally think he has us in mind for just that reason, like damn Tom, how you got me in my feelings bro
💕thank you for being completely open! Almost caved a couple years ago when my sis was murdered..made the journey out of my depression a year ago🙏nine years clean and counting.
Man you are one of the best reactors out there rn for real, you keep it 100 and you are full of knowledge on the subjects you talk about. Keep doing what you do and im sure you will reach the stars. Much love. And yeah proud of the man you made out of yourself. We are lucky we didnt lose you to drugs like so many talented artists and people out there. So glad your soul mate saved you i wish everybody finds that kinda blessing in life. Appreciate you so much brother. 💯❤
This made you uncomfortable, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share your story with others who struggle with addiction...FIRE! I hope you keep sharing and maybe speaking about this publicly, like Ted Talks or something. Embrace your vulnerability and use it to reclaim your power because sharing your story not only helps you, it can also inspire many, and help them to become the best versions of themselves. Thanks for sharing.
80 days clean, in treatment and living in a sober house right now. I'm new to the channel and ain't going anywhere! I was in your live stream last night and you and your "soulmate" and the chat are exactly what I needed! Awesomely real and positive vibes helped me get thru a lonely Saturday night. Thank you for being here for everyone!! #HOG4LIFE
3:43 "You know when you're on the edge of sleep and like, you jump and like wake yourself up." That is the WORST. I thought Insomnia was bad until that started happening. It's like you are being punished overnight for having depression and anxiety, as if the day isn't enough.
@@FlawdTV I had that happen to me for 2 days straight, while I was working a full-time job. After 48 hours, my body just started "buzzing," and I freaked out. Couldn't find an open liquor store at 5 in the morning, so i drove to my mom's house and woke her up raiding her house for wine or beer. NOT good times.
Loved stopping by and hearing your story. I’ve never had to battle that kind of addiction but this is what the internet should be about. Sharing stories. Building empathy and being vulnerable. Keep it up! Look at you now, slaying it on here.
Tom fights his demons to be our angel 💪🏻🤜🏻 he connects with the masses so much and I can’t express how much he has helped me through this we are all human let’s get through this together
Neurontin/Gabapentin is actually an antiseizure medication but is used off label for tons of other stuff. That is what caused the brain zaps and headaches. It works directly on nerve impulses.
And the sad thing is, go visit a nursing home and you will find residents given Neurontin just to dumb them down so they do not bother the aids and nurses because the resident needs help to walk to the bathroom. My mom had serious intestinal surgery and went to the rehab unit in a nursing home and they did not want her to walk by herself to go to the rest room, yet they had her on diuretics which made her need help to pee. Since the nursing homes are understaffed I found out they put her on Neurontin to not bother them, so if I was not there, she just had to pee on herself! I started asking around to find out why she was doing crazy things and sleeping all the time, and one nurse admitted they added Neurontin to her meds, just like all the residents. I made sure I spent most of the day with her and followed her family doctors advice to GET HER OFF THAT CRAP! So when they tried to sneak it in her meds cup, we learned exactly which pill it was, and mom refused to take it, and she did so much better once she quit taking that crap. It makes me sick to think how many people that therapy center / nursing homes had and still has doped up.
@@JayRahmann That is what my vet gave me to calm down my dogs during thunderstorms and before their appointments, it makes them into barely walking zombies, it does not seem like a great drug.
Clean and sober 8/30/2015 after decades of addiction. Once sober, I set upon a course of reconstruction. It's not about drugs anymore it's how to live life on life's terms. It's all good my brother. Deep. This is real life stuff not about bitches or ho's or gang bangers.
Happy to hear your doing so well. Stay strong!❤️ I'm 52 and put my kids, husband and parents through hell. My body was so weak it took 6 weeks to be able to just walk around the house, vodka and Xanax every single day for 8 yrs. In the hospital with so many things, overdose 5 times, rehab, psych wards, liver issues, severely anemic, iron treatments, just a mess. Happy to say 6.5 yrs sober, hubby 13 yrs sober. My children and their spouses not addicted to anything and my 4 grandchildren have never had a drunk drugged out grandma, and God willing never will have to see that mess. Bless you and your earth angel who found you ❤️
That "jump" when you are about to go to sleep is called a hypnotic jerk. Not everyone has it so not everyone understands it lol. I have hypnotic jerks, my wife doesn't, and she says it scares the shit out of her if I do it when she's still awake lol.
One of the most intensely personal, honest and relevant Tom MacDonald reactions I have ever viewed, and sincerely, a huge thank you, Flawd. Without delving too deep into details, I can empathize with withdrawals thanks to several addictions, alongside many family members. Lost my Aunt to an opiate overdose four months ago. At any rate, people like Tom MacDonald and yourself truly render a boost of strength and reinforced confidence. I am beyond appreciative. Sorry for all you had to go through - so thankful you have made it to where you are now, with much more success and happiness yet to come. God bless, continue on your path, wishing you the best always.
I haven't had a drink since Friday after hearing this song. I have been drinking myself to sleep daily since 2009 (and started drinking heavy way before that). I was crying my eyes out listening to it and just felt, fuck this. I need to change my life. 48 hours sober now. One day at a time.
@@BBJProductions21 Cheers mate, after the 2 first nights of horrible sleep I'm actually quite ok, yesterday I went to bed around 10:30, slept til 6 and only woke up once. I have started to take vitamins and specially B12 as a mate who went through this years ago told me that prolonged alcohol use inhibits vitamin uptake, so trying to boost that. But what actually surprised me the most is that I feel good. Better than in years. Sure, there are moments in the evening I go, fuck it would be nice with a cold one, but nah, not falling into that trap. (+ coming to the realisation quitting alcohol during a heatwave may not have been the smartest idea, I should have come to this awakening in December... :D )
Same as others have said. Your sharing over your platform speaks an amazing truth. So many of us out there. We have more in common with others, than we realize sometimes.
Mind over matter, they were handing out adhd meds like candy in the 90's, my parents said NO, thank God. Highly intelligent kids are usually labeled as not normal, it's a fine line. My parents said kick rocks, f off. And they were right.
Speaking from experience it is ultimately up to the addict to make a choice to strive for sobriety so in that sense you might be able the mind over matter perspective, but addiction is too complex to oversimplify it as mind over matter in every scenario. Addiction often involves physical and/or psychological dependence which makes it nearly impossible for many to stop without help, so in that case it takes more than just mind over matter. In many cases a person will find that a desire to stop using won't lead to sobriety if they don't experience medical detox or mental health treatment when the function of their addiction is to self-medicate mental health problems rather than just a function of a desire to get high for pleasure.
Living your life purpose! Keep shining your beautiful light! There's no shame in overcoming the darkness. Too many people never even admit they've been there, or worse, live there and hide it, all the while judging others that openly battle their way through. Love and light you beautiful soul!
You fought one of the hardest wars any person can go through and you beat it, you beat addiction. You saw the hell of addiction and you got through it and you don't give in to what could make ur demons grow, even if it's something like Advil. Holy shit flawd the strength you have shown is incredible and the fact that you feel comfortable sharing your story with us means a lot. I guess all I can say is thank you for ur story and thank you for being here with us today.
Bro! I was on Pax too, and it did the same thing I tossed that stuff. I felt neutral, i had sterile emotions, nothing sad, nothing happy. Hated it and cut it cold turkey.
I just want to tell you that I'm so proud of you. You're a strong, smart young man. I wish my brother could have gotten help. My baby brother is doing life in prison now. Alcohol was his thing. For 27 years I have had to visit him and leave my soul and heart in that prison. I've been taking xanax for over 20 years. Last time I tried to stop I made it a week. I ended up in the hospital with my kidney's failing. It's hard to stop without the money for a medical detox. I thought I was doing good when I stopped sticking that needle in my arm and staying drunk all the time. Unfortunately it took my heart giving out to wake me up. Still take the xanax only if I really need it.
Much much love to everyone, to anyone going through any of this sending hugs, love and the strength to get through. Much love and massive respect to you Flawdzilla!!!
Yup cause it's a tranquilizer. I was on it for like a year and it messed up my head and I gained a bunch of weight and it slowed everything down. If you see my comment I said that people would literally ask me why I was talking so slow but I thought I was talking normal. It was scary. Like why are you saying I'm talking slow?
@@tatertot4208 probably because you need it or it works for you. I had anxiety and depression and they put me on that and remeron and trasadone and the other stuff was fine but the seroquel was no good for me.
The meds that “numb” you. I have a chronic pain condition, pain management docs just wanted to medicate me. I spent years dealing with pain yet on their meds. It didn’t help the pain? It just made me not care that I was in pain, but it also made me not care about anything. I’m 5 years off all those meds and actually 4 years out of my wheelchair. I still have pain every day but I’ve learned other ways of dealing with the pain, unmediated but in control!!
I just want to say thank you. It takes courage to be vulnerable and talk about these subjects. I’m just someone you will likely never meet, but I will remember this. I appreciate you 🙏🏼.
Dude…you have gotten so real with this video! I just want to give you a hug! Mad respect for you and your journey! So proud of you! Thank you for being you!
A momma hug from me too Marcus, your reaction is the only one that made me cry. I could see the pain when you talked about your dad. You have turned your life around and he should be so proud of you. Just remember, you are 💕💕 loved. Much love from the UK x u
Total respect for Tom, total respect for you, thanks for sharing your story, you have no idea how many people you’ve both helped by sharing your personal struggles.❤❤❤
Still here I sit, so happy that you one day popped up in my suggestions. I have been in recovery now for over 8 years, my addiction had me in an abusive relationship & having 2 of my children taken. This song brought me to tears cause it just brought me back to my last treatment stint. My mental health was what led me down that path and it has taken years (since I was born till about a couple years ago) to find the right medication to help me. You describing the meds making you feel like you're jumping out of your skin... That happens to me with those type of meds.
I will say this… Flawdzilla is what most of us are… Flawd yet human. We are all beautiful. And so are you Flawdzilla. I just wish I could follow you again… but already following. So we are on the right track.
Thank you so much
Excellent reaction video. Keep the faith and my the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit continue to lead you in your recovery. You and Tom both have powerful testimony to share. Keep on keeping it 💯! Thank you.
@@FlawdTV your whole story touches me man. Sounds a lot like my own battle and the bullshit i had to go through with my doctors...260mg of roxys a day, 8mg Xanax a day, Ativan, seroquel, they gave me a ton of shit to help my back pain and to sleep..i was told after being on that concoction for 12 years that I could go through a 2 year wein down to come off of them. I told my doctor I would never see him again and didn't. I wood cold turkey too and it nearly killed me. But that was worth never overdosing again.. to many friends lost, to many close calls myself. Hell, I just buried two childhood friends this weekend one Saturday and one yesterday Im tired of losing people to addiction. Toms song hits home hard and your reaction does too. The struggle is daily. Start strong and stay focused!
He is amazing
@@FlawdTV much respect brotha i related to pretty much everything you shared with us on this topic. im proud of you for making it this far, you have survived 100% of all experiences you have been through. congrats
THERES BEEN A FEW REACTORS WHO I DREADED WATCHING THE REACTION AND YOU WERE 1 YOURE SO HUMBLE AND EMOTIONAL FROM HAVING A HEART WHICH IS WHY HANGOVERGANG RELATES TO YOU BUT IM NOT STUPID AND IM 55 BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU NEED A MOMMA HUG SO IM VIRTUALY SENDING MY LOVE YOURE WAY I DEALT WITH WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT 25 YEARS AGO AND I STAND PROUD AND WILL FIGHT THIS FOREVER THE THROWING UP LOOKING LIKE MOTOR OIL ULCERS MY FRIEND. AND I HAD EM FROM THE OPIOIDS I WAS HOOKED ON ALONG WITH ALCOHOL AND COKE IT WAS NO JOKE COMMING OFF OF THEM 3 WEEKS I WENT THROUGH HELL TO COME OUT CLEAN I SEEN YOURE EYES AND AUTOMATICALLY KNEW YOU SUFFERED TOO LOVE YOU FLAWD AND ANYONE GOING THROUGH THIS YOURE NOT ALONE I LOVE YOU AND WILL PRAY FOR YOU. TO COME OUT CLEAN YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH HELL BUT ITS WORTH IT TO GET FRIENDS LIKE FLAWD AND HANGOVERGANG I LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU
65 and felt the same.
Fifty and yes emotionally drawn to give mama hugs. You are loved and YOU ARE MEANT TO BE HERE. You matter, you are important and you would be greatly missed. SO I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. And I know Mo is glad you are here babe. But so is HOG I love you!
How beaitiful and YES FLAWD I LOVE YOU AND FEEEELLL EVERYTHING SHE IS SAYING ....A MOMMA HUG....NO WORDS FOR THAT!....LOVE YA ALL TOO!!!
Bro caps lock
@@mattsnow4116 I KEEP THEM ON CAUSE I CANT SEE THE SMALL SO BRO BACK OFF
Staring at my phone... shaking my phone upside down... anything to make this Flawd reaction appear. Finally worked!!
For real though lol. Too funny.
@@powerfan89 😂😂 longest couple of days ever
Thanks for the 📌 Flawd, we love you and are grateful Meaux came to check on you! Y'all are reaching souls, nothing surface level comes from y'all! 🧡
I was like 'Maybe he's on vacation or something. *stares out window* It'll come...'
Lol! Thank you! It did work! His reaction was one of the best!
My story is similar... I'm a tatted up straight white male & military veteran. Flawd, if I saw you across a busy street, I'd run through traffic to shake your hand. We all have our own unique trials, but we ALL go through SOMETHING - God bless.
*imagine a clap between each of these words* We. Are. So. HAPPY. You. Are. Still. Here.
Also.....whoever Mo is...hug her. Every single time you see her. From me/us and another from you. Much love.
It’s his girl 💯💜
Yesssss Sam!...if I may, I would also like to thank Mo 😁 thanks Mo! Thank God for all of you. My life has been in such a state for going on 5 years, Idk, its just nice, just to listen and read. Thank you again, you dont even know what youve done for me.
Proud of you for overcoming so much.
I’m three years sober and the hardest part for me was how it affected my social life... my sobriety highlighted their addictions and they gave me a lot of sh** for it. But the peer pressure and judgment just made me stronger in my resolution to quit. I made all new friends from scratch and it was 100% worth it.
I'm not an addict and never have been, so I don't know the struggle. But I respect the hell out of anyone that can beat it and get clean and make something of their lives. If the least I can do is help this channel grow by giving it a sub, then I ought to at least do that.
Getting sober is one of the hardest things I have gone through and I still find being sober very difficult at times. This song is truly great though I love it and I'm excited to see your reaction!
Unfortunately a pill is not the answer...pills don't solve any problem - just masks the issues. When my son died (aged 47) the doctor wanted to put me on an antidepressant and antianxiety. I said "no, I think God wants to to feel the emotions or we never grow. It's been 5 years and I got through it without being medicated.
Sherry, John Keats addressed his emotions of a illness that led to his death in a letter written in the early 1800’s. It is, “Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” Thank you for sharing, I feel enriched for reading your spiritual testimony and how you endured the emotional pain of your lost. Blessings to You. . . .dennis
AMEN Mom. 🙏 to you. I can't imagine the pain your are experiencing, but one thing I do know is that God's got you. ❤
Sorry to hear about your son and totally agree about pills. Only time i can say that pills are ok is for really serious pain after car accidents or antibiotics for serious infections...
@@dennis1954 I love that you quoted John Keats.. i visited his grave when I went to Rome back in 2001 💞
I think that everyone's pain is different and everyone needs different things to heal. Pills might work for some people along with therapy and lifestyle changes, but I agree that pills aren't the answer for most people.
You bro. Why is it that Tom plays a demon so often, but it's like he's here to save lives? Is this what angels look like now?
In many songs Tom highlights his demonic/dark past. As you know, he's truly been through darkness that would terrify the average person.
Fallen angels here on earth. We all have our shadows and inner demons
Yup
I feel like Tom is showing his personal, internal struggle and for so many people it's relatable because we're all struggling with something. I struggled with exactly what he's talking about so I get that internal fight you have even years after you quit drugs/alcohol. It's a never ending struggle, some days more so than others.
Ya man
This is why I like watching your reactions dude. Rather than just watch a video and give a half assed reaction, you talk to your audience and explain how the music makes you feel. Also, congrats on gettin clean!
If no one has said it, I’m glad you’re here! We all have our demons and addictions. Keep being awesome!
Never cared for reactors but you have a great message yourself. This shit hits home bro. Keep your channel up
If I could give this 1,000,000 likes, you'd have 'em in a heartbeat.
We love you Flawdzilla. Glad you made it and found your way into our homes. The world is a better place because of you! Much love
I loved what I hated...
Sums it up for me.
Pain meds keep me functional but I hate being dependent on them.
Opioids are a plague on humanity...
Maybe I'll have an option one day.
Great reaction Flawd'
You have options now! Chasing those things are NO way to live! ❤️
You will help people you don’t even realize because of what you have been through and sharing. God Bless you, Flawd! 🙏🏻
This is why I follow you!! You and Tom both help me get through every single day!!! As a Recovering Alcoholic I can really connect with the thoughts and fears of an addict!! Yall are my heroes!!
Addiction is one of the greatest fights, I still struggle so much.
Prayed that God gives you strenght to overcome this. You don't have to fight it alone. Invited Him to be your partner in this fighting. Sooner or later you'll win and stay winning. God is never lose in any battle.
Lean into the fam bruv
Emotions are part of our existence. Drugs are NEVER the answer
Totally agree, only time i can say it's ok is in ER after accidents or antibiotics for life threatening infections...
Sometimes a reactor adds to the impact of the song and that definitely happened here. I'm happy to be one of over 50k people supporting you now. Love to you & Meaux ❤
I appreciate what your story tells me as you bein awesome....I am glad we all are alive! Glad your female found you....cause you good now pimpin....
I hope one day your dad will allow himself to get to know the incredible man you’ve become. I know I’m thankful for stumbling upon you. You’re loved by so many already. Real gravitates to real. And you’re incredibly real.
As most TM fans, I watch the music video and then go the rounds on all the usual reactors but out of all of them this is the one i specifically look out for. It really feels like he is speaking and connecting with you with no bs involved.
You a real one Flawd
You have QUICKLY become my favorite reactor! You are so insightful and just seem like a real ass dude. Keep up the good work 🔥🔥👌❤
I really appreciate your reaction to this. This song was made for people like you. People that can relate. Stand strong
Tom did such an amazing job of speaking so much truth that some of us can unfortunately relate to. I don't know of any other artist really putting out this diverse of content right now, while also showing their struggles to help others out and make us all realize we all go through things that sometimes none of us want to share.
You are amazing. Stay strong.
So glad she found you! Glad you're able to share your stories here for all of us. ❤️
SO REAL. This is why you love Tom bc he is so real. I hope Tom’s vids bring us all together. We all have so much in common. I believe Tom really is bringing this home to all of us black and white.
Damn. That's the most detailed "withdrawal" experience from out of the reactors I've watched. Props for sharing it. I got the glimpse from my imagination of how it feels like. Really scary, but probably won't compare to the actual.
Over 30 years sober.... tough day to day .... stay strong stay real stay true.
Hey man I just wanted to say you are not alone. Your story sounds a lot like mine. The strong ones make it out and the stronger ones stay out of it for good. You got this brother! Mad respect dude! Keep it up!
I use to be a fan but after that song I'm a whole air conditioner
I don't know where you got this from, but I'm stealing this!
Brooooooo
Cool! 👍
This comment deserves an award good sir. I laughed way too hard at that
Thanks guys lol
I'm no wimp, but this song made me cry more than the time a feminist kickball team turbo smashed me in the nuts.
I've seen it about 10 times and man..this song makes me like hard cry...
I love the vulnerability you show. I have been sober almost 12 years now and it was the hardest thing I ever went through in my life and I still have moments of weakness but all we can do is live each day luckily I have my children they are what keeps me sober and my firstborn was the one who made me see the light when I found out I was pregnant with her
Dude. THANK YOU for being real, man. People don't understand if they have never been there.
Big hug Flawed, glad you’re here for us as we’re here for you! ❤️ from 🇬🇧
OMG, I can't stop crying. I can't stop crying. That's it. Life is full of addictions. Stay safe and healthy. Love, Italy
Been there too, and it is absolute HELL! I am so thankful that Mo found you and saved your life. You are a blessing to all who hear you and I am honored to be one of those people. Love and hugs to you ❤️
Flawd, I just want to say that we love you bruv. You always show us that you are HUMAN just like all of us as well. I’ve been through so much of what you talk about and I have so much respect for you sharing with us. People like us have so much strength that we never realize until we become sick and tired of being sick and tired. Much respect homie
Don't have the strength to get off the floor right now... FELT THAT!!! My favorite Tom song to date, I cry every time I listen and remember how far I have come out of the darkness even though when you clean you have your mental health issues to deal with and nothing to help you deal.
This is the best, most relatable reaction to this song on TH-cam. I love how positive you are even after going through hell. You ARE inspiring.
“Learn to see past the flaws and you will understand the perfection of the Universe.” - Ka Chinery
Much respect brother, glad your still with us...
I love how real you are, and vulnerable with your emotions. Keep up the good work.
Your story really speaks so much to me. I've never dealt with drugs, but I have had problems with addiction in other ways. It's been a difficult thing that I've always had to struggle with for a long, long time. You speaking about having to just cut things out and about the devil throwing temptations at you non-stop is so real. When you look at repentance, it's not just asking for forgiveness and saying you're sorry. It's about wanting to change and trying to be/do better. That's what's important and I think that's something a lot of people don't understand. When you want to really change, you need to make changes in your life and that really speaks to me. I really needed this, thank you.
I'm with you btw, this subject matter most definitely hits close to home & anytime Tom does one of these it rocks me a bit, but in a good way👍🤘HogFam & FlawdSkwad for life
Tom has a hard way of holding a mirror up so we have to see ourselves, I personally think he has us in mind for just that reason, like damn Tom, how you got me in my feelings bro
💕thank you for being completely open! Almost caved a couple years ago when my sis was murdered..made the journey out of my depression a year ago🙏nine years clean and counting.
Man you are one of the best reactors out there rn for real, you keep it 100 and you are full of knowledge on the subjects you talk about. Keep doing what you do and im sure you will reach the stars. Much love.
And yeah proud of the man you made out of yourself. We are lucky we didnt lose you to drugs like so many talented artists and people out there. So glad your soul mate saved you i wish everybody finds that kinda blessing in life. Appreciate you so much brother. 💯❤
This is what I love about Tom. His heart goes into every song
This made you uncomfortable, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share your story with others who struggle with addiction...FIRE! I hope you keep sharing and maybe speaking about this publicly, like Ted Talks or something. Embrace your vulnerability and use it to reclaim your power because sharing your story not only helps you, it can also inspire many, and help them to become the best versions of themselves. Thanks for sharing.
80 days clean, in treatment and living in a sober house right now. I'm new to the channel and ain't going anywhere! I was in your live stream last night and you and your "soulmate" and the chat are exactly what I needed! Awesomely real and positive vibes helped me get thru a lonely Saturday night. Thank you for being here for everyone!! #HOG4LIFE
I felt that with ya. Glad we have ya here. Keep fighting. HOG4LIFE
Flawd - your testimony will speak truth to many lost souls. COURAGEOUS. Prayers to you and yours.
3:43 "You know when you're on the edge of sleep and like, you jump and like wake yourself up." That is the WORST. I thought Insomnia was bad until that started happening. It's like you are being punished overnight for having depression and anxiety, as if the day isn't enough.
That's exactly what it felt like.
@@FlawdTV I had that happen to me for 2 days straight, while I was working a full-time job. After 48 hours, my body just started "buzzing," and I freaked out. Couldn't find an open liquor store at 5 in the morning, so i drove to my mom's house and woke her up raiding her house for wine or beer. NOT good times.
And the LONELINESS of being the first one to get clean ...... so accurate.
Loved stopping by and hearing your story. I’ve never had to battle that kind of addiction but this is what the internet should be about. Sharing stories. Building empathy and being vulnerable. Keep it up! Look at you now, slaying it on here.
Tom fights his demons to be our angel 💪🏻🤜🏻 he connects with the masses so much and I can’t express how much he has helped me through this we are all human let’s get through this together
Neurontin/Gabapentin is actually an antiseizure medication but is used off label for tons of other stuff. That is what caused the brain zaps and headaches. It works directly on nerve impulses.
And the sad thing is, go visit a nursing home and you will find residents given Neurontin just to dumb them down so they do not bother the aids and nurses because the resident needs help to walk to the bathroom. My mom had serious intestinal surgery and went to the rehab unit in a nursing home and they did not want her to walk by herself to go to the rest room, yet they had her on diuretics which made her need help to pee. Since the nursing homes are understaffed I found out they put her on Neurontin to not bother them, so if I was not there, she just had to pee on herself! I started asking around to find out why she was doing crazy things and sleeping all the time, and one nurse admitted they added Neurontin to her meds, just like all the residents. I made sure I spent most of the day with her and followed her family doctors advice to GET HER OFF THAT CRAP! So when they tried to sneak it in her meds cup, we learned exactly which pill it was, and mom refused to take it, and she did so much better once she quit taking that crap. It makes me sick to think how many people that therapy center / nursing homes had and still has doped up.
Is that why I feel better but worse... God damn gabapentin got me messed up...
@@JayRahmann That is what my vet gave me to calm down my dogs during thunderstorms and before their appointments, it makes them into barely walking zombies, it does not seem like a great drug.
Clean and sober 8/30/2015 after decades of addiction. Once sober, I set upon a course of reconstruction. It's not about drugs anymore it's how to live life on life's terms. It's all good my brother. Deep. This is real life stuff not about bitches or ho's or gang bangers.
Who are freaks who disliked this video?? Following Flawdzilla awhile now. Congrats on everything! First time commenting and subbin! H.O.G. Toronto
I'm glad you here. We need this conversation.
That was a very real response to a very real song. Glad to hear your winning against your demons. Stay strong!
True
Happy to hear your doing so well. Stay strong!❤️ I'm 52 and put my kids, husband and parents through hell. My body was so weak it took 6 weeks to be able to just walk around the house, vodka and Xanax every single day for 8 yrs. In the hospital with so many things, overdose 5 times, rehab, psych wards, liver issues, severely anemic, iron treatments, just a mess. Happy to say 6.5 yrs sober, hubby 13 yrs sober. My children and their spouses not addicted to anything and my 4 grandchildren have never had a drunk drugged out grandma, and God willing never will have to see that mess. Bless you and your earth angel who found you ❤️
Me too brah, I cried like a baby the first time I heard it!
It means so much that you are willing to share your story with strangers. These connections are gifts from God! Thanks Flawdzilla!!
"The voluntary neglections " that hit hard.
The world is a better place with Flawed and Tom In it. ❤ This song is exactly what the world needed.
That "jump" when you are about to go to sleep is called a hypnotic jerk. Not everyone has it so not everyone understands it lol. I have hypnotic jerks, my wife doesn't, and she says it scares the shit out of her if I do it when she's still awake lol.
@Melanie Jordaan Hypnic jerk is a type of myoclonus. It's caused by the same muscles that cause hiccups.
@Melanie Jordaan you are correct.
4 songs from tom always gets tears sober withdrawals church and cancer everytime
The black plague of the new age, I'm glad you made it out brother. All of you
Wow, good analogy
One of the most intensely personal, honest and relevant Tom MacDonald reactions I have ever viewed, and sincerely, a huge thank you, Flawd. Without delving too deep into details, I can empathize with withdrawals thanks to several addictions, alongside many family members. Lost my Aunt to an opiate overdose four months ago. At any rate, people like Tom MacDonald and yourself truly render a boost of strength and reinforced confidence. I am beyond appreciative. Sorry for all you had to go through - so thankful you have made it to where you are now, with much more success and happiness yet to come. God bless, continue on your path, wishing you the best always.
I've been waiting for this reaction.
So very proud of the man you have become..God bless from a Canadian grandmother.
I haven't had a drink since Friday after hearing this song. I have been drinking myself to sleep daily since 2009 (and started drinking heavy way before that). I was crying my eyes out listening to it and just felt, fuck this. I need to change my life. 48 hours sober now. One day at a time.
Good for you, thoughts and prayers.
Try melatonin for sleeping. Non addictive and great for falling asleep. 5 or 10 milligrams and gnight!
@@BBJProductions21 Cheers mate, after the 2 first nights of horrible sleep I'm actually quite ok, yesterday I went to bed around 10:30, slept til 6 and only woke up once. I have started to take vitamins and specially B12 as a mate who went through this years ago told me that prolonged alcohol use inhibits vitamin uptake, so trying to boost that.
But what actually surprised me the most is that I feel good. Better than in years. Sure, there are moments in the evening I go, fuck it would be nice with a cold one, but nah, not falling into that trap. (+ coming to the realisation quitting alcohol during a heatwave may not have been the smartest idea, I should have come to this awakening in December... :D )
@@bobfleming7665 Thanks a million.
Thank Meaux for me for saving Flawd. You're meant for more than tragedy.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Same as others have said. Your sharing over your platform speaks an amazing truth. So many of us out there. We have more in common with others, than we realize sometimes.
Mind over matter, they were handing out adhd meds like candy in the 90's, my parents said NO, thank God. Highly intelligent kids are usually labeled as not normal, it's a fine line. My parents said kick rocks, f off. And they were right.
Same I have adhd my parents put me on Ritalin in the 90’s then took me off because I wasn’t my self. Haven’t took any meds for adhd sense. I’m now 31
Speaking from experience it is ultimately up to the addict to make a choice to strive for sobriety so in that sense you might be able the mind over matter perspective, but addiction is too complex to oversimplify it as mind over matter in every scenario. Addiction often involves physical and/or psychological dependence which makes it nearly impossible for many to stop without help, so in that case it takes more than just mind over matter. In many cases a person will find that a desire to stop using won't lead to sobriety if they don't experience medical detox or mental health treatment when the function of their addiction is to self-medicate mental health problems rather than just a function of a desire to get high for pleasure.
Living your life purpose! Keep shining your beautiful light! There's no shame in overcoming the darkness. Too many people never even admit they've been there, or worse, live there and hide it, all the while judging others that openly battle their way through. Love and light you beautiful soul!
Dude! When you are describing these meds… “quit describing my life!” Lol. Yeah, felt like you paused your recording just to talk to me lol.
You fought one of the hardest wars any person can go through and you beat it, you beat addiction. You saw the hell of addiction and you got through it and you don't give in to what could make ur demons grow, even if it's something like Advil. Holy shit flawd the strength you have shown is incredible and the fact that you feel comfortable sharing your story with us means a lot. I guess all I can say is thank you for ur story and thank you for being here with us today.
Just think if Narcan didnt exist? I remember watching LivePD and they saved what seems like 10-20 lives a days with that antidote.
So appreciate how honest both you and Tom are. This really help me understand what my wife goes through everyday.
Bro! I was on Pax too, and it did the same thing I tossed that stuff. I felt neutral, i had sterile emotions, nothing sad, nothing happy. Hated it and cut it cold turkey.
You're an inspiration. Stay strong and keep the faith.
I just want to tell you that I'm so proud of you. You're a strong, smart young man. I wish my brother could have gotten help. My baby brother is doing life in prison now. Alcohol was his thing. For 27 years I have had to visit him and leave my soul and heart in that prison. I've been taking xanax for over 20 years. Last time I tried to stop I made it a week. I ended up in the hospital with my kidney's failing. It's hard to stop without the money for a medical detox. I thought I was doing good when I stopped sticking that needle in my arm and staying drunk all the time. Unfortunately it took my heart giving out to wake me up. Still take the xanax only if I really need it.
Thank-you for sharing your story. I'm so glad you're still around to share it. You're a very special person, love listening to you talk.
Much much love to everyone, to anyone going through any of this sending hugs, love and the strength to get through. Much love and massive respect to you Flawdzilla!!!
So proud of you! My son went through his own addictions. He’s been sober for 5 years now. So proud of all who’ve made it through this pain. ❤️🙏
They hand out seroquel like candy when ur in jail or prison. It’s horrible
Yup cause it's a tranquilizer. I was on it for like a year and it messed up my head and I gained a bunch of weight and it slowed everything down. If you see my comment I said that people would literally ask me why I was talking so slow but I thought I was talking normal. It was scary. Like why are you saying I'm talking slow?
Yep it's crazy. They just give u anything so they don't need to deal with you.
They wouldn't hand out Seroquel in the jail I was in because it's too expensive instead they gave out trazodone like candy
@@IanMM88 it's weird Seroquel has always worked for me except I don't like the weight gain. I have used Seroquel for insomnia since I was 11
@@tatertot4208 probably because you need it or it works for you. I had anxiety and depression and they put me on that and remeron and trasadone and the other stuff was fine but the seroquel was no good for me.
Real raw life always needs to front and center. Appreciate Tom putting those issues at the center as it’s needed. He is a master of his craft
The meds that “numb” you. I have a chronic pain condition, pain management docs just wanted to medicate me. I spent years dealing with pain yet on their meds. It didn’t help the pain? It just made me not care that I was in pain, but it also made me not care about anything. I’m 5 years off all those meds and actually 4 years out of my wheelchair. I still have pain every day but I’ve learned other ways of dealing with the pain, unmediated but in control!!
I just want to say thank you. It takes courage to be vulnerable and talk about these subjects. I’m just someone you will likely never meet, but I will remember this. I appreciate you 🙏🏼.
Dude…you have gotten so real with this video! I just want to give you a hug! Mad respect for you and your journey! So proud of you! Thank you for being you!
A momma hug from me too Marcus, your reaction is the only one that made me cry. I could see the pain when you talked about your dad. You have turned your life around and he should be so proud of you. Just remember, you are 💕💕 loved. Much love from the UK x u
Total respect for Tom, total respect for you, thanks for sharing your story, you have no idea how many people you’ve both helped by sharing your personal struggles.❤❤❤
Wow, truly a miracle you are here🙏
You were meant for greater things💜
My whole family is full of addicts. Your story and Tom's video has me in tears. My heart...I can feel it right in my heart❤😔
Still here I sit, so happy that you one day popped up in my suggestions. I have been in recovery now for over 8 years, my addiction had me in an abusive relationship & having 2 of my children taken. This song brought me to tears cause it just brought me back to my last treatment stint. My mental health was what led me down that path and it has taken years (since I was born till about a couple years ago) to find the right medication to help me. You describing the meds making you feel like you're jumping out of your skin... That happens to me with those type of meds.