Wow, thank you so much. Shame is a major issue in my life and this video is an amazing help to me. I love the coin metaphor. It makes me see that when I can dare to really pay attention to inner shame with my whole self, it becomes a bridge to the self compassion for which I yearn, and which actually makes me rich, spiritually and psychologically.
I'm glad you clipped this part, this was the most profound point in your lecture. I really need this and to reconnect with myself and the honest truth---I do want to be loved. I haven't admitted/acknowledged this in a long time. Thank you.
Chris. You absolutely Nail It! I think the basic human desire is to love and be loved. I have struggled with shame throughout this lifetime. This perspective is transformative! Thank You!
Wow! Thank you for sharing this beautiful and eye-opening video. That's such an incredible way to reframe shame - the other side of the 'I wish to be loved' coin. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for Christopher for this insightful video, and for the exercise it includes. I am a gestalt therapist from Argentina on a path to keep enriching my views on human suffering, and I found your words very clear and spot on!
I used to think self compassion was reeally powerful, but now I think the obsession with self compassion and compassionate "mind training" is actually an elaborate coping mechanism to try to meet one's need for compassion from others without taking the risk of being vulnerable with others. Like doing daily compassionate meditations is not something psychologically healthy people do or feel any need to do. Everyone needs to get enough genuine support from other people in their relationships so they won't have any need for self compassion meditations.
I agree to a degree. The tone I perceive in your comment seems dismissive of the idea presented, but at the same time, I get the sense that you might feel the presentation of it is simplistic or incomplete, because, as you rightfully pointed out, people need genuine support from their relationships. I liked how you pointed out that healthy people would not feel the need to do this. That makes sense to me. The thing is that a lot of people do not have genuine support in their relationships and did not have it when they were developing either, leading them to unhealthy attachment practices. Self compassion seems to me like a good tool , if not great, for someone going through the motions of shame. I started following some of the exercises from Dr. Chris today and one made me cry, something I had been longing to do for a while now. So, there is definitely something to this. I should add that I do not consider myself to be a psychologically healthy individual and so, that might be why this is proving useful for me. The point made by the Dr. of people having in their eyes the need to be loved is also something I think is true. I would encourage you to share with us what it is you have found in your research, so to have a fuller picture of these subjects. All the best
@@kamikyodai2314I completely agree with you that I was too dismissive and critical of self-compassion practices. I do think they can be helpful and I know they were helpful for me when I first learned about self-compassion because I had been criticizing myself constantly before. What I wish I had said is that I think self-compassion practices can be helpful, but that further healing from the pain of being abused, rejected, abandoned, (or other painful interpersonal experiences) probably needs to come from exploring and processing this pain with another person. Although finding people who are supportive and compassionate is not always an easy task.
I’ve read the later posts on this thread and think they are closer to a whole perspective but I’d just like ti say that I suspect no one is 100% psychologically ‘healthy’ and certainly not all the time - we move around on that spectrum surely. And, that I find linking this with the concept of psychological flexibility and other foundations of ACT ( acceptance and commitment therapy) useful.
Wow, thank you so much. Shame is a major issue in my life and this video is an amazing help to me. I love the coin metaphor. It makes me see that when I can dare to really pay attention to inner shame with my whole self, it becomes a bridge to the self compassion for which I yearn, and which actually makes me rich, spiritually and psychologically.
I'm glad you clipped this part, this was the most profound point in your lecture. I really need this and to reconnect with myself and the honest truth---I do want to be loved. I haven't admitted/acknowledged this in a long time. Thank you.
Chris. You absolutely Nail It! I think the basic human desire is to love and be loved. I have struggled with shame throughout this lifetime. This perspective is transformative! Thank You!
This is toooooo beautiful, brought tears to my eyes and it’s so helpful for me as a trauma therapist
I only feel this because I want to be loved.
Fascinating perspective.
Wow, 🤩 ! Never heard anyone speak about shame so clearly !!!
Preach! Thanks for sharing your passion and soul with us Chris
Wow! Thank you for sharing this beautiful and eye-opening video. That's such an incredible way to reframe shame - the other side of the 'I wish to be loved' coin. Thank you 🙏
Beautiful thank you
Not too many therapists know this
Thank you for your teachings and perspectives on shame, Chris!
Thank you for Christopher for this insightful video, and for the exercise it includes. I am a gestalt therapist from Argentina on a path to keep enriching my views on human suffering, and I found your words very clear and spot on!
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Such a great explanationof how I've been feeling lately
this was so good thank you so much this changed my life❤❤❤
i realize this is the root of so many of my problems. i turn to lust to try to receive love
❤❤❤ thank you
I love You 💕
Very helpful. Thank you :)
🥰
You really have figured it out, havent you 😅
I used to think self compassion was reeally powerful, but now I think the obsession with self compassion and compassionate "mind training" is actually an elaborate coping mechanism to try to meet one's need for compassion from others without taking the risk of being vulnerable with others. Like doing daily compassionate meditations is not something psychologically healthy people do or feel any need to do. Everyone needs to get enough genuine support from other people in their relationships so they won't have any need for self compassion meditations.
Think you've rather missed the point here.
@@ian4045 what i wrote is how my understanding of it has evolved based on my experience and learning about attachment research
I agree to a degree. The tone I perceive in your comment seems dismissive of the idea presented, but at the same time, I get the sense that you might feel the presentation of it is simplistic or incomplete, because, as you rightfully pointed out, people need genuine support from their relationships. I liked how you pointed out that healthy people would not feel the need to do this. That makes sense to me. The thing is that a lot of people do not have genuine support in their relationships and did not have it when they were developing either, leading them to unhealthy attachment practices. Self compassion seems to me like a good tool , if not great, for someone going through the motions of shame. I started following some of the exercises from Dr. Chris today and one made me cry, something I had been longing to do for a while now. So, there is definitely something to this. I should add that I do not consider myself to be a psychologically healthy individual and so, that might be why this is proving useful for me. The point made by the Dr. of people having in their eyes the need to be loved is also something I think is true. I would encourage you to share with us what it is you have found in your research, so to have a fuller picture of these subjects. All the best
@@kamikyodai2314I completely agree with you that I was too dismissive and critical of self-compassion practices. I do think they can be helpful and I know they were helpful for me when I first learned about self-compassion because I had been criticizing myself constantly before. What I wish I had said is that I think self-compassion practices can be helpful, but that further healing from the pain of being abused, rejected, abandoned, (or other painful interpersonal experiences) probably needs to come from exploring and processing this pain with another person. Although finding people who are supportive and compassionate is not always an easy task.
I’ve read the later posts on this thread and think they are closer to a whole perspective but I’d just like ti say that I suspect no one is 100% psychologically ‘healthy’ and certainly not all the time - we move around on that spectrum surely. And, that I find linking this with the concept of psychological flexibility and other foundations of ACT ( acceptance and commitment therapy) useful.