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Sisyphus, I’m about to finish school and I honestly don’t know what direction I’ll take, what do I do if I don’t have a plan or anything to drive me in life?
@@Anc283sound like you're just out of highschool? FAFSA is pretty easy to get, just go for general studies. You can switch to something else later, once you find something that interests you. More education is never a bad thing, even if you just end up with an associate degree. Believe me it's better than ending up in a 9-5 that offers no fulfillment or opportunities to for better employment positions. Usually management positions will offer better pay but at the cost of your time, (less time for hobbies/family/friends). I know it's not the best advice but it's might lead you to better ideas of what you want to do.
The Birth and Death of Meaning (Ernest Becker) OVERVIEW Ernest Becker’s book “The Birth and Death of Meaning” asks the question, “where does meaning come from?” The short answer is: meaning comes from culture - our lives feel most meaningful when we believe we are participating successfully in the cultural hero-system, and we measure the success of our performance through social affirmation. Culture prescribes the roles, how well we execute the roles creates feelings of meaning and self-worth, and we assess the success of our execution by way of positive social regard. Of course, culture is artificial and meaning is therefore entirely fictional, but that’s not the short answer. Here’s the long answer. Where does our self-concept come from? To discover any sort of meaning, self-worth, or self-value, one must first develop a self. Where does this self-awareness come from? Becker starts with our evolutionary history, arguing that group activities like hunting required keen perception and cooperation. If you’re my hunting partner, I need to predict your behaviour and you need to predict mine (notice this requires a concept of “I” and “you”). Back at home camp, anticipating behaviour was aided by the development of a symbolic social hierarchy - roles were assigned and social status became relevant. To reduce anxiety and be successful in the group, you needed to know what part you played and what was expected of that part. This, Becker argues, is where the self-concept was born. To predict your behaviour I must first recognize my own agency and then recognize you too have this agency - I need a self-concept, which I then use to anticipate your behaviour by projecting myself into your situation aided by my knowledge of your social roles and the expectations of those roles (we know this today as “theory of mind”). These social roles, rules, and customs are what culture is - the symbolic schema we created to predict behaviour, which then transforms into the symbolic schema that we derive meaning and self-worth from.
Symbolic vs. physical existence We have our bodies, our physical selves, but we don’t identify with them as much as we do our inner selves, our symbolic selves. Consider the banker who loses billions of dollars of client money and falls into a deep depression. He has a physical body, but the most important part of him (by his own apparent evaluation) extends to numbers in a bank account… what they symbolize about him. The overgrown weeds on your front lawn aren’t just weeds, they say something about you as a person, as do your unruly children or your messy car. Humans don’t live in a world of pure sensation, we live in a world of symbols, and we derive our sense of self and self-worth from this symbolic world. Our self-esteem grows from how well we believe we are inhabiting the roles and statuses of this fictional construction. To wonder whether you are valuable and whether your life is meaningful is to wonder where you fit into the cultural schema, how well you’re meeting the expectations, and whether others think your performance has been successful - as social creatures, we measure everything against the yardstick of positive social regard. The upshot of this is that our consciousness of self is a social construction. Symbolic self-representation is built from the outside in, which means our identities are, in essence, social products. We can’t divorce meaning from culture or ourselves from our symbolic worldviews any more than we can grow wings and fly. This makes man an interesting animal indeed, the only species that “vitally depends on a symbolic constitution of his worth. Once this has been achieved the rest of the person’s entire life becomes animated by the artificial symbolism of self-worth; almost all his time is devoted to the protection, maintenance, and aggrandizement of the symbolic edifice of his self-esteem.”
Culture as a codified hero-system When Becker says that man’s urge is to heroism, he’s not referring to the gladiators or warriors of old - he’s referring to man’s desire to be admired, to feel important. Culture is the vehicle - the codified hero-system - the means to become someone of importance (a “hero”). We earn our heroism, our self-esteem, by impressing our friends, by getting good grades, or by dressing well. As we reach adulthood, we earn it by performing well in the roles society offers: doctor, lawyer, professor, scientist - successful businessman, loving mother, stable father, dutiful friend, etc. We pride ourselves on being funny, artistic, generous, studious, ambitious, pious, or wise. By being good at these roles, by inhabiting these prescribed identities, we derive our vital sense of self-worth. “Almost all of one’s inner life, when he is not absorbed in some active task, is a traffic in images of self-worth.” We nourish ourselves with a constant inner newsreel of self-esteem images and evaluations. We think fondly about the bonus we earned, the book we published, the praise we received, the prestigious college our children attend. We strive for heroic self-identity. We are all culture-heroes, trying to stand out. You could say that while the initial role of culture was to help early humans predict behaviour (and provide physical security), equally important was the role of culture in making enduring self-esteem possible. The cultural hero-system is how we convince ourselves that we are an object of primary value, and it provides the prescription for meaningful action.
Consequences of living in a contrived world “First we discover who society says we are: then we build our identity on performance in that part. If we uphold our part in the performance, we are rewarded with social affirmation of our identity. It is hardly an exaggeration, then, to say that we are created in the performance.” The social environment is the only way we derive and validate our identities. The question may be “Who am I?” but the real question is “How are others supposed to feel about me?” And the scaffolding for everything is the codified cultural hero-system. What are the consequences of basing meaning and self-esteem on this artificial, fragile scaffolding? Aside from the obvious (which is that the whole thing could collapse at any moment), to maintain our self-worth, we must constantly perform up to societal expectations. We are inseparable from our roles, and so executing the roles well is vitally important. What then for the breadwinner who becomes disabled, the woman who grows old, the father who feels unfulfilled - anyone who doesn’t fit the mold or can’t play the part? Not living up to cultural expectations isn’t just an inconvenience, it’s an apocalypse of self-esteem and meaning. And when culture fails? When it no longer does its job to construct a “meaningful hero-system for its members”? Then depression, chaos, and anarchy reign.
Surely there is a redeeming final arch to this story… Prepare to be disappointed because this is where Becker falls back on his trusty crutch, religion. He offers (albeit half-heartedly) that a religious worldview may be less prone to collapse - that if we traffic in the shadowy virtues of some invisible after-world, perhaps our self-esteem will be more immune to disintegration. My take-away from this prescription is that living in an illusion of your own creation is more stable than living in an illusion created by others. You’re better able to control your own fantasy than the cultural fiction you were born into. I don’t doubt the logic of this, but it’s still a cosmic cop-out. Culture is arbitrary, contrived… fabricated. And if meaning is derived from our participation in the cultural hero-system, then meaning is fictional too. That doesn’t make meaning or culture superfluous - indeed, they are deadly serious - but it does make them artificial. Your sense of inner worth and importance, your self-esteem and self-assuredness, rests entirely on make-believe.
WHAT NOW? (actions for mortal atheists) No kidding - what do we do with this? “The Birth and Death of Meaning” answers the question “what is meaning and where does it come from?” but it doesn’t answer “what do I do with the answer to that question?” Consider this a for-your-information kind of book; it’s not going to tell you how to climb out of the existential pit you’ve been thrown into. But, in a way, isn’t it better to know why you search for meaning, and how you come to discover it (even if it is a fantasy)? If meaning and culture are intertwined, then perhaps that’s permission to stop feeling guilty that your life isn’t “meaningful” enough. If your culture says life is fulfilled only with children, travel and adventure, or building something worthwhile, and you haven’t done any of those things… maybe there isn’t anything wrong with you, maybe your culture just doesn’t value the things that you do (and maybe, just maybe, the expectations are as unrealistic as they are arbitrary). Does it help knowing that? I think a little bit. It definitely helps if you pair it with the belief that our lives really aren’t that important and we’ll all soon be forgotten anyway.
Thank you. The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the too closely and constantly examined life is hell; like a car stuck in deep mud, the mind spins and strains, going no where, only throwing up muck and sinking deeper into a hole. Examine and consider, but then act; do not fret too much about making the "right" decision, there is no perfect choice.
My existential crisis is the same one that plagues the planet right now. A forest I used to play in as a child is now a Walmart. The river is so polluted that there are signs that say don’t eat the fish. The smokestacks at the local factory are dispersing various fluorocarbons into the air. I failed my community and my people. The world is officially a worse place than when I was born.
@@carpo719 this is largely unavoidable when living prices are skyrocketing, they leveled my whole town after it burnt down and dumped the toxic sludge and waste on a historic site. we’re pretty screwed.
Could you be part of the same problem that you bring up? I am not saying you are, but I see it a lot. People complain about Walmarts and Amazons, but they surely shop there often and give excuses to why they do. It will be interesting to see in a few decades how this all turns out.
I hear you. I have seen similar things happen in both my childhood neighbor as well as the neighborhood/town of my alma mater. It’s difficult. Hope is difficult to maintain. I’ve been pleasantly surprised that I’m never the only one; in fact, there seems to always been a passionate group of retirees who are volunteering to clear some stream bed of trash or to do trail maintenance. They’re always looking for help, too. When you look at the big picture, the math still won’t add up. It looks like doom. Very similar to the video’s theme! I had to learn the hard way that sometimes you need to choose a small area and investigate it. As it turns out, it works. It turns out that hope is the pair of gloves they give you so you don’t hurt yourself. Hope is the big bumblebee who’s nestled in a flower near the stream bank. Hope is coming back a week later and seeing water flowing better than before. Hope is joining their Facebook group and meeting regularly. Sure, it won’t undo the construction of another greedy corporation. But to the Parks and Rec department, our work is hope. To the frogs and the bees and the fishes and the mites and spiders and deer, our work is hope. To me, our work is hope. I hear your struggles. It’s rough out there. I hope that an avenue for hope may open up for you soon. Cheers!
@@diddit_dunnit Yes, thank you for this. Hope exists in our daily observations and (re)actions. Mother Nature, so to speak, is there to remind us every day. Recently, I found a dying bumblebee on a trail. I knew it was not long for this world. All I could do was put it close to a very large conifer and bid it farewell. Hoping to see more (living) bees soon.
Currently reading The Bell Jar once again after 10 years. The first time I read it I was going through an existential crisis. Now I'm going through an existential crisis once again. Esther (even if feeling lost herself) always keeps me company, and this video referencing Nietzsche and Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha comes at a crucial moment in my life.
you should sit with yourself and come to some conclusion, dive deep inside it, because these guys don't seem to help. it will be 10 times difficult but what is life if we don't truly suffer and overcome and suffer more.
I've always been repulsed by the often proclaimed phrase of "It was all for nothing". Especially when refering to relationships. I've been present in cyclical relationships, where nothing ever seems to go nowhere, nothing seems to be official even tho I do try for it to be. When confiding to those who are closest to me, I often hear that phrase, and I quickly jump in to defend those affairs. Not because I wish to reunite, not because of illusion making me blind to reality. But because anulling an individual, a connection, the memories, turning them into nothing when they once were something so sentimental always seemed so dishonest, like ignoring the feelings that I was once so sure existed. I do not strive for the need of denial of something to move on. I cannot separate myself from the lesson I was lucky enough to learn, despite being treated so wrongly. So even in all the hurt, I rejoice in knowing I felt something
Perfect Catarina! After the end of my relationship, I started therapy due to the guilt I felt for tolerating negative behaviors, trying to avoid the feeling that everything had been “for nothing”. Even though I tried to prove my worth to my ex and suffered from the way he ended things and quickly started another relationship (same week), I realized that I needed to accept my mistakes and that I had learned important lessons. I understood that the other person’s freedom to love and act is something I cannot control, and that only God truly knows people's intentions and heart. So his reasons I would never know and it’s not my business. This process helped me forgive myself and better understand the freedom of the love, the need to set boundaries and to let people go. We need to try in order to live. We need to lose ourselves eventually to find again.
@@Cinthiaeb it is truly hard to see the other person calmly move on, as if it didn't matter as much. I've been told by the person I loved that she didn't owe me anything and that her and the people around me never liked me that much. I guess I could, at that time, also reject my feelings and respond in the same coin, but that would be at the cost of my honesty. I see her behaviour as cowardly and intentionally hurtfull, as a way of dealing with the pain of how it ended. And to allow myself to follow the same path as a response would make me feel sick about myself. I do not wish to be the bigger person, I wish to continue to be the kind of person that I am proud to be. I am wishing you all the best. Wishing that you too find a sense of confort in yourself, regardless of the other person's reaction.
@@catarinacorreia2747 I understand you! Seeing the other person move on so quickly made me feel betrayed and irrelevant, as if I were the only one who truly loved. The lies I discovered after the breakup raised the question of whether I was simply manipulated while helping him both professionally and personally. The empty promises seem to have been a strategy to keep me bound while he needed me, rather than being innocently broken. These are doubts I will never know the truth about, but regardless, I was real and lived my relationship deeply. In the end, although completely devastated, I still wished him all the best in the world. As you mentioned, not because I am a "better person", but because I still genuinely love him and want him well. The idea of holding onto anger or resentment is more torturous than any pain I have experienced. I do not want bitterness; I only wish to find peace. As you said, I would never do the same to another person, as I would feel deeply remorseful, I can not let others' actions affect my behavior. I hope that, soon, I will be able to look back on my experience with a more positive perspective. I also wish you all the best. It takes a lot of strength to remain kind in cruel situations.
I put my notice in at my job recently as one of those (very very slow) realisation moments of needing to do 'something else' with my life. I am the most free and untethered I have ever been and also the most terrified. This brings me some comfort that, since I've managed to make *a* choice, I can work the rest out as it goes. I have to and I will, because it's my life after all.
You're my favorite channel in recent years. I love your production style and the topics you cover always pick my brain in the best way. Thank you Sisyphus :)
I've been hitting this lately. I moved from my home country to a country that is currently in a recession, and have a husband and a step kid who is going to go off to university next year. I never finished college due to years of unstable housing when I was younger and feeling my age (30). I've been so paralyzed in what to do with myself. I never had this issue when I was younger where I took a bunch of risks and had great opportunities I'm proud of
Give yourself a break - be creative, paint, write, meet some new friends, try to enjoy this opportunity. Some of us are a little jealous, recession or not. 😉
There's nothing wrong with settling, sometimes it's just what we need. We just have to remember that we have dreams and hopes, and nurture those over time. In order to nurture them to fruition though we have to have consistency in ritual. At almost 50...for me... there are some things you just have to learn with time that I'm realizing
it’s crazy how most every generation of humanity has had a pretty wise philosopher express their contemplations on the low-downs of life; crazier still (as in insanely epic still )that we live in the generation of this channel’s fabulous formulation of philosophical ideas!! :’)
You summed up the analysis paralysis with the decision tree all to well. I've never thought of this before and it seemed dead right to me. Sylvia was an excellent writer and her insight being relevant today really proves this to me, thanks.
But in open individualism, I am the fig tree and all the figs. In empty individualism, I am only ever the singular time-slice of a moment of qualia/experience with an illusion of psychological continuity. The attachment is what I can control, regardless of whether I can or do "experience everything". To experience everything is to be Mara, to be deluded in Samsara. Rather than an absurdist laughter and stable identity, I will join the monastery and learn to be okay with being no one. Nothing will ever make me satisfied. Cultivate dispassion
As a 37 year old who's recently coming to the conclusion that I have needs that I ignored and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to have them fulfilled, this really didn't help. Damn.
So that’s the answer, I haven’t chosen the wrong path. I haven’t chosen a path at all. I can’t believe that a TH-cam video would help me have a breakthrough.
A channel that teaches the art of self love through curiosity, to experience life as a story with its ups and downs instead of a combat to be won. Your videos have always brought me joy in reflection (and reminded me to enjoy that process), one of my favorite and fulfilling activities in life. Also 3 days in a row!?!?
You have no idea how perfect the timing was for this video to show up. In December, I dropped out of university again because I realized the degree I had chosen didn’t excite me. Now I think I know which degree I want, but I was scared to choose it since it’s a program where I’d need to work at the same time to afford it. However, I feel like this video gave me the answer I was looking for-or at least the beginning of the answer I need. Thank you so much.
@@jayhassan976 They mean you don't get over that feeling. Like the idea of the other figs you could've chosen will always be there and you'll just have to live with "it" (with that constant feeling).
@@YIDB that's just not true, though. i don't mean this as a dig or anything, but not everyone is living with great regrets about their past decisions. it is possible and should be the north star that leads towards living a happy fulfilling and life
That isn’t really the point….the fear isn’t that a wrong choice was made, but rather it is the grief and paralysis on what is given up by making a choice. You lose all the other possibilities until one day you loon around and you don’t have any choices anymore.
@@dstinnettmusic I think so long as one is alive, there is always choices. It's true, we have a limited amount of time but even more so then, one should focus on the present. A rule of thumb I live by (even more so because of depression) is to 'respect myself, and my past self, as much as I do others' and so even if things turn out 'horribly' I don't regret my past choices because I know that when I made the choice, I was convinced and it was by my own will. Although it might seem pointless now, I'm a different person than I was then, and I'll make the choices that are to be made now. Sure they might seem wrong to me later, but it's fine so long as I choose. 'If you don't choose, life will for you.' Sorry for the ramble.
No one cares but I've been in a fucked state for years and man this channel truly and genuinely is one of the most thoughtful and comforting things I've discovered in awhile. Thanks random dude who also experiences anguish daily
How are you posting so often recently?? Must be putting a lot of work in for us, thank you so much. I appreciate your channel a lot and just watch them during night right before I go to bed
This is the kind of content that the 20-somethings of the world needs. The advice we never heard. It seems so obvious in retrospect. But hearing it is so different from knowing it in the back of your mind. ❤ Thanks so much.
these videos used to help a lot, but now i feel like the words just pass through me. like the good messages just don't feel the same. i don't know what's wrong
You're not going to resonate with everything he posts, in general few things resonate which is why it is so wonderful to find the rare thing that does--there's nothing wrong with you in terms of this
Guys i got a fig tattoo 4 yrs ago for this reason but i still haven't found my way.. 26 and my figs r rotting!! Love to all may we all find peace and purpose 🙆🤞
Your ability to craft a clear and cohesive, philosophical argument is profound and gives me hope that all is not lost between the gap of academia and the commons. Thank you for this powerful video essay.
I lost my job a day after my birthday- after experience extreme trauma, last night someone finally told me just how many people found me attractive at one point but thought I lacked confidence- some who I just assumed I had no chance with and it shattered everything for me. I missed so many fucking opportunities to be with people. I think everyone thinks I’m the one guy that has potential… but nothing ever comes of it. Nothing bad’s ever resolved, nothing good’s ever had for more than 5 minutes, and around people I try to stay optimistic but I don’t think we’re gonna fucking survive- and I’m absolutely ducking PISSED I’m not the only one who thinks that. I just turned 21 and it’s already rough from 21 years of bullshit and complex trauma. I’ve rarely ever finished anything or been fucking consistent with literally ANYTHING, and I wonder if I ever will… but I guess that’s a lot of people, and I wanna still try for some reason. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m rambling- I’m just I don’t know, I’m losing it. I don’t wanna give up because I’d hurt so many people but I wanna give up soooo god damn bad because I can’t fucking take this shit. These are supposed to be my best years?! Every god damn year i can guarantee there’s gonna be something devastating and traumatic that makes me wanna just wanna end things- I mean fuck, my dad forgot that I was assaulted or just doesn’t think it was. I keep going back to square 1. Every time I make progress it all gets fucked over somehow. Every time I have one of those “oh I’d kill for that” it turns into just another haunting experience that ends agonizingly. I don’t know why I’m ranting, I’m sorry if you had to read that, I’m not giving up. Take care
You’re awesome for this. Thank you for sharing. You are observant even at 21. We need ppl like you. You do have something to give back, remember that. We all do. Talk to yourself like an older brother, someone who is loving but real with you. Also watch Healthy Gamer GG if you don’t already on TH-cam. Learn. At your age focus on learning and experiencing. Applying, making a difference, it comes more naturally after this phase.
Your life just started. I'm 17 and i'm going through almost the exact same thing. I missed out on so many opportunities and relationships because i was shy, and i can't help but wonder who i could've been. Even if I wonder, i know that it's in the past now, and i can't change it, and that's okay. I know that this period in your life and mine, will pass.
I feel your pain, but you need to put things into perspective. We've all experienced shtty jobs that we walked away from (or were fired). This is very normal when you're younger - you try a variety of jobs to find a good fit. Some work, some don't. If you make your life harder by stressing over this one event, you will literally make yourself sick. You are only 21. Shit happens sometimes and you have to literally pick yourself back up and move forward. Everyone has been through this. EVERYONE. Welcome to our tribe.
I wish someone understood this well enough to tell me while I was in high school. I felt terrified of all the choices: what to study, what career path I want to start, what hobbies I should have, and when to start dating. I felt terrified in college, too, all because I refused to commit to being a student. I could feel my self-image changing, and I couldn't let it change in the wrong ways. I'm still a little bit like that, but I've been learning.
This is the exact dilema ive been stuck in for a long time but ive not been able to put it into words, this whole time ive been too busy pondering what could happen to ever get shit done also ill give that book(siddhartha) very good video
Analysis paralysis mixed with a dreading sense of time passing. That’s a killer combo (quite literally) Thanks for putting that image in my head to ruminate forever.
choose your role commit to your bit take the applause in the melodrama of life even the housewife has the best role the test is soul how well you play not the hell you say what you did along that way to help others stay in character
Brilliant take on the positive aspects of settling! Embracing stability allows us to build a strong foundation, from which we can make more confident strides towards personal growth and understanding. 🌱
3:30 good point but I decided to not pursue masters degree not because of career path uncertainty but rather due to the realization that it’s just not worth it all to have it as a show off or accomplishment. A light cost benefit analysis would show how overpriced the MS degree is depending on your field.
I didnt believe the coincidences until NOW, I had a breakdown in the last few days and you drop this?? Where are the microphones so I can tell all my little problemsss
So these are the problems of people, who have everything, including a house to live, enough money to buy food, things of everyday life etc. And still discontent with their life.
Recently, I've been having a terrible existential crisis. I shouldn't be having one, I thought, I'm pretty young and look at all my other friends? Classmates? Teachers? Hell, even my parents. This is quite new. First it was lack of sleep, with signs of depression. On one day, lying down, doing nothing, I began to wonder about life. Do I even exist? For what reason? What's the thing about death again? I'd hate to age. What happens after death? Does God exist? What happens after death...Am I, even real? Honestly, I still don't know. It feels like nothings working. I feel dread, but also 'woke' and 'conscious'. I don't know what to say. I'm filling with dread and contemplating even living. Crazy, a few years ago, the best years of my life. Now, absolutely hell. I try to enjoy everyday. Just won't work. But thanks to this video, I've gained a new perspective, and realised im not alone, I guess. Thanks. I hope everyone going thru this recovers.
Idk a rock symbolizes stability. Then again, a rock rolling careening back down hill towards you can definitely describe how you feel when it call comes crashing down 😅 I call it being crucified when you know that what you were doing was inherently good, and it feels like the whole word is against you. He’s right though, it’s a process of learning.
@@ash-rc2xv you have no idea ? good. just take a chance the first thing that seems you want to do, if by the end you don't like it, go for the others. just don't give up too fast.
I became what I am by living what I was - through the process of settling. I've settled so many times I've lost track. You can ask my ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, and former employers if you need references.
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Sisyphus, I’m about to finish school and I honestly don’t know what direction I’ll take, what do I do if I don’t have a plan or anything to drive me in life?
I can be sseven people if I want to!! :P
@@Anc283what do you want to do?
Random recommendation to check out the podcast Speaking of Psychology and listen to an episode that sticks out to ya
@@Anc283sound like you're just out of highschool? FAFSA is pretty easy to get, just go for general studies. You can switch to something else later, once you find something that interests you. More education is never a bad thing, even if you just end up with an associate degree. Believe me it's better than ending up in a 9-5 that offers no fulfillment or opportunities to for better employment positions. Usually management positions will offer better pay but at the cost of your time, (less time for hobbies/family/friends). I know it's not the best advice but it's might lead you to better ideas of what you want to do.
The Birth and Death of Meaning (Ernest Becker)
OVERVIEW
Ernest Becker’s book “The Birth and Death of Meaning” asks the question, “where does meaning come from?” The short answer is: meaning comes from culture - our lives feel most meaningful when we believe we are participating successfully in the cultural hero-system, and we measure the success of our performance through social affirmation. Culture prescribes the roles, how well we execute the roles creates feelings of meaning and self-worth, and we assess the success of our execution by way of positive social regard.
Of course, culture is artificial and meaning is therefore entirely fictional, but that’s not the short answer.
Here’s the long answer.
Where does our self-concept come from?
To discover any sort of meaning, self-worth, or self-value, one must first develop a self. Where does this self-awareness come from? Becker starts with our evolutionary history, arguing that group activities like hunting required keen perception and cooperation. If you’re my hunting partner, I need to predict your behaviour and you need to predict mine (notice this requires a concept of “I” and “you”). Back at home camp, anticipating behaviour was aided by the development of a symbolic social hierarchy - roles were assigned and social status became relevant. To reduce anxiety and be successful in the group, you needed to know what part you played and what was expected of that part. This, Becker argues, is where the self-concept was born. To predict your behaviour I must first recognize my own agency and then recognize you too have this agency - I need a self-concept, which I then use to anticipate your behaviour by projecting myself into your situation aided by my knowledge of your social roles and the expectations of those roles (we know this today as “theory of mind”). These social roles, rules, and customs are what culture is - the symbolic schema we created to predict behaviour, which then transforms into the symbolic schema that we derive meaning and self-worth from.
Symbolic vs. physical existence
We have our bodies, our physical selves, but we don’t identify with them as much as we do our inner selves, our symbolic selves. Consider the banker who loses billions of dollars of client money and falls into a deep depression. He has a physical body, but the most important part of him (by his own apparent evaluation) extends to numbers in a bank account… what they symbolize about him. The overgrown weeds on your front lawn aren’t just weeds, they say something about you as a person, as do your unruly children or your messy car.
Humans don’t live in a world of pure sensation, we live in a world of symbols, and we derive our sense of self and self-worth from this symbolic world. Our self-esteem grows from how well we believe we are inhabiting the roles and statuses of this fictional construction. To wonder whether you are valuable and whether your life is meaningful is to wonder where you fit into the cultural schema, how well you’re meeting the expectations, and whether others think your performance has been successful - as social creatures, we measure everything against the yardstick of positive social regard. The upshot of this is that our consciousness of self is a social construction. Symbolic self-representation is built from the outside in, which means our identities are, in essence, social products. We can’t divorce meaning from culture or ourselves from our symbolic worldviews any more than we can grow wings and fly.
This makes man an interesting animal indeed, the only species that “vitally depends on a symbolic constitution of his worth. Once this has been achieved the rest of the person’s entire life becomes animated by the artificial symbolism of self-worth; almost all his time is devoted to the protection, maintenance, and aggrandizement of the symbolic edifice of his self-esteem.”
Culture as a codified hero-system
When Becker says that man’s urge is to heroism, he’s not referring to the gladiators or warriors of old - he’s referring to man’s desire to be admired, to feel important. Culture is the vehicle - the codified hero-system - the means to become someone of importance (a “hero”). We earn our heroism, our self-esteem, by impressing our friends, by getting good grades, or by dressing well. As we reach adulthood, we earn it by performing well in the roles society offers: doctor, lawyer, professor, scientist - successful businessman, loving mother, stable father, dutiful friend, etc. We pride ourselves on being funny, artistic, generous, studious, ambitious, pious, or wise.
By being good at these roles, by inhabiting these prescribed identities, we derive our vital sense of self-worth. “Almost all of one’s inner life, when he is not absorbed in some active task, is a traffic in images of self-worth.” We nourish ourselves with a constant inner newsreel of self-esteem images and evaluations. We think fondly about the bonus we earned, the book we published, the praise we received, the prestigious college our children attend. We strive for heroic self-identity. We are all culture-heroes, trying to stand out. You could say that while the initial role of culture was to help early humans predict behaviour (and provide physical security), equally important was the role of culture in making enduring self-esteem possible. The cultural hero-system is how we convince ourselves that we are an object of primary value, and it provides the prescription for meaningful action.
Consequences of living in a contrived world
“First we discover who society says we are: then we build our identity on performance in that part. If we uphold our part in the performance, we are rewarded with social affirmation of our identity. It is hardly an exaggeration, then, to say that we are created in the performance.”
The social environment is the only way we derive and validate our identities. The question may be “Who am I?” but the real question is “How are others supposed to feel about me?” And the scaffolding for everything is the codified cultural hero-system.
What are the consequences of basing meaning and self-esteem on this artificial, fragile scaffolding? Aside from the obvious (which is that the whole thing could collapse at any moment), to maintain our self-worth, we must constantly perform up to societal expectations. We are inseparable from our roles, and so executing the roles well is vitally important. What then for the breadwinner who becomes disabled, the woman who grows old, the father who feels unfulfilled - anyone who doesn’t fit the mold or can’t play the part? Not living up to cultural expectations isn’t just an inconvenience, it’s an apocalypse of self-esteem and meaning. And when culture fails? When it no longer does its job to construct a “meaningful hero-system for its members”? Then depression, chaos, and anarchy reign.
Surely there is a redeeming final arch to this story…
Prepare to be disappointed because this is where Becker falls back on his trusty crutch, religion. He offers (albeit half-heartedly) that a religious worldview may be less prone to collapse - that if we traffic in the shadowy virtues of some invisible after-world, perhaps our self-esteem will be more immune to disintegration. My take-away from this prescription is that living in an illusion of your own creation is more stable than living in an illusion created by others. You’re better able to control your own fantasy than the cultural fiction you were born into. I don’t doubt the logic of this, but it’s still a cosmic cop-out.
Culture is arbitrary, contrived… fabricated. And if meaning is derived from our participation in the cultural hero-system, then meaning is fictional too. That doesn’t make meaning or culture superfluous - indeed, they are deadly serious - but it does make them artificial. Your sense of inner worth and importance, your self-esteem and self-assuredness, rests entirely on make-believe.
WHAT NOW? (actions for mortal atheists)
No kidding - what do we do with this? “The Birth and Death of Meaning” answers the question “what is meaning and where does it come from?” but it doesn’t answer “what do I do with the answer to that question?” Consider this a for-your-information kind of book; it’s not going to tell you how to climb out of the existential pit you’ve been thrown into.
But, in a way, isn’t it better to know why you search for meaning, and how you come to discover it (even if it is a fantasy)? If meaning and culture are intertwined, then perhaps that’s permission to stop feeling guilty that your life isn’t “meaningful” enough. If your culture says life is fulfilled only with children, travel and adventure, or building something worthwhile, and you haven’t done any of those things… maybe there isn’t anything wrong with you, maybe your culture just doesn’t value the things that you do (and maybe, just maybe, the expectations are as unrealistic as they are arbitrary). Does it help knowing that? I think a little bit. It definitely helps if you pair it with the belief that our lives really aren’t that important and we’ll all soon be forgotten anyway.
How dare you tell me I have the totally reasonable limits of one human person.
The audacity
The nerve
The gall
The insolence
The indomitable human spirit
i can't put into words how more at ease this whole channel makes me feel with my clinical depression. really helps to put things into perspective
Thank you. The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the too closely and constantly examined life is hell; like a car stuck in deep mud, the mind spins and strains, going no where, only throwing up muck and sinking deeper into a hole. Examine and consider, but then act; do not fret too much about making the "right" decision, there is no perfect choice.
excellent advice all around. Great post!
My existential crisis is the same one that plagues the planet right now. A forest I used to play in as a child is now a Walmart. The river is so polluted that there are signs that say don’t eat the fish. The smokestacks at the local factory are dispersing various fluorocarbons into the air. I failed my community and my people. The world is officially a worse place than when I was born.
If you desire that natural landscape you can still move to places that have it. And I highly urge doing so
@@carpo719 this is largely unavoidable when living prices are skyrocketing, they leveled my whole town after it burnt down and dumped the toxic sludge and waste on a historic site. we’re pretty screwed.
Could you be part of the same problem that you bring up? I am not saying you are, but I see it a lot. People complain about Walmarts and Amazons, but they surely shop there often and give excuses to why they do. It will be interesting to see in a few decades how this all turns out.
I hear you. I have seen similar things happen in both my childhood neighbor as well as the neighborhood/town of my alma mater. It’s difficult. Hope is difficult to maintain.
I’ve been pleasantly surprised that I’m never the only one; in fact, there seems to always been a passionate group of retirees who are volunteering to clear some stream bed of trash or to do trail maintenance. They’re always looking for help, too.
When you look at the big picture, the math still won’t add up. It looks like doom. Very similar to the video’s theme! I had to learn the hard way that sometimes you need to choose a small area and investigate it. As it turns out, it works. It turns out that hope is the pair of gloves they give you so you don’t hurt yourself. Hope is the big bumblebee who’s nestled in a flower near the stream bank. Hope is coming back a week later and seeing water flowing better than before. Hope is joining their Facebook group and meeting regularly. Sure, it won’t undo the construction of another greedy corporation. But to the Parks and Rec department, our work is hope. To the frogs and the bees and the fishes and the mites and spiders and deer, our work is hope. To me, our work is hope.
I hear your struggles. It’s rough out there. I hope that an avenue for hope may open up for you soon. Cheers!
@@diddit_dunnit Yes, thank you for this. Hope exists in our daily observations and (re)actions. Mother Nature, so to speak, is there to remind us every day. Recently, I found a dying bumblebee on a trail. I knew it was not long for this world. All I could do was put it close to a very large conifer and bid it farewell. Hoping to see more (living) bees soon.
Literally what I needed at this very moment when the vid is uploaded
Literally tho i'm a lil shocked
Currently reading The Bell Jar once again after 10 years. The first time I read it I was going through an existential crisis. Now I'm going through an existential crisis once again. Esther (even if feeling lost herself) always keeps me company, and this video referencing Nietzsche and Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha comes at a crucial moment in my life.
you should sit with yourself and come to some conclusion, dive deep inside it, because these guys don't seem to help.
it will be 10 times difficult but what is life if we don't truly suffer and overcome and suffer more.
I've always been repulsed by the often proclaimed phrase of "It was all for nothing". Especially when refering to relationships. I've been present in cyclical relationships, where nothing ever seems to go nowhere, nothing seems to be official even tho I do try for it to be. When confiding to those who are closest to me, I often hear that phrase, and I quickly jump in to defend those affairs. Not because I wish to reunite, not because of illusion making me blind to reality. But because anulling an individual, a connection, the memories, turning them into nothing when they once were something so sentimental always seemed so dishonest, like ignoring the feelings that I was once so sure existed. I do not strive for the need of denial of something to move on. I cannot separate myself from the lesson I was lucky enough to learn, despite being treated so wrongly. So even in all the hurt, I rejoice in knowing I felt something
Smart woman here!
Perfect Catarina! After the end of my relationship, I started therapy due to the guilt I felt for tolerating negative behaviors, trying to avoid the feeling that everything had been “for nothing”. Even though I tried to prove my worth to my ex and suffered from the way he ended things and quickly started another relationship (same week), I realized that I needed to accept my mistakes and that I had learned important lessons. I understood that the other person’s freedom to love and act is something I cannot control, and that only God truly knows people's intentions and heart. So his reasons I would never know and it’s not my business. This process helped me forgive myself and better understand the freedom of the love, the need to set boundaries and to let people go. We need to try in order to live. We need to lose ourselves eventually to find again.
@@Cinthiaeb it is truly hard to see the other person calmly move on, as if it didn't matter as much. I've been told by the person I loved that she didn't owe me anything and that her and the people around me never liked me that much. I guess I could, at that time, also reject my feelings and respond in the same coin, but that would be at the cost of my honesty. I see her behaviour as cowardly and intentionally hurtfull, as a way of dealing with the pain of how it ended. And to allow myself to follow the same path as a response would make me feel sick about myself.
I do not wish to be the bigger person, I wish to continue to be the kind of person that I am proud to be.
I am wishing you all the best. Wishing that you too find a sense of confort in yourself, regardless of the other person's reaction.
@@catarinacorreia2747 I understand you! Seeing the other person move on so quickly made me feel betrayed and irrelevant, as if I were the only one who truly loved. The lies I discovered after the breakup raised the question of whether I was simply manipulated while helping him both professionally and personally. The empty promises seem to have been a strategy to keep me bound while he needed me, rather than being innocently broken. These are doubts I will never know the truth about, but regardless, I was real and lived my relationship deeply. In the end, although completely devastated, I still wished him all the best in the world. As you mentioned, not because I am a "better person", but because I still genuinely love him and want him well. The idea of holding onto anger or resentment is more torturous than any pain I have experienced. I do not want bitterness; I only wish to find peace. As you said, I would never do the same to another person, as I would feel deeply remorseful, I can not let others' actions affect my behavior. I hope that, soon, I will be able to look back on my experience with a more positive perspective. I also wish you all the best. It takes a lot of strength to remain kind in cruel situations.
Instructions unclear, I stopped existing.
I put my notice in at my job recently as one of those (very very slow) realisation moments of needing to do 'something else' with my life. I am the most free and untethered I have ever been and also the most terrified. This brings me some comfort that, since I've managed to make *a* choice, I can work the rest out as it goes. I have to and I will, because it's my life after all.
You're my favorite channel in recent years. I love your production style and the topics you cover always pick my brain in the best way. Thank you Sisyphus :)
I've been hitting this lately. I moved from my home country to a country that is currently in a recession, and have a husband and a step kid who is going to go off to university next year. I never finished college due to years of unstable housing when I was younger and feeling my age (30). I've been so paralyzed in what to do with myself. I never had this issue when I was younger where I took a bunch of risks and had great opportunities I'm proud of
Give yourself a break - be creative, paint, write, meet some new friends, try to enjoy this opportunity. Some of us are a little jealous, recession or not. 😉
There's nothing wrong with settling, sometimes it's just what we need. We just have to remember that we have dreams and hopes, and nurture those over time. In order to nurture them to fruition though we have to have consistency in ritual. At almost 50...for me... there are some things you just have to learn with time that I'm realizing
Thanks for this comment. Your insight as well as this video are what I need at this junction in my life.
I really relate to this video, I’ve often been overwhelmed by the number choices and the potential importance of these choices.
OH GOOD HEAVENS, SISYPHUS HAS UPLOADED
HONEY WAKE UP SISYPHUS POSTED
it’s crazy how most every generation of humanity has had a pretty wise philosopher express their contemplations on the low-downs of life; crazier still (as in insanely epic still )that we live in the generation of this channel’s fabulous formulation of philosophical ideas!! :’)
Yes but none of these ideas are original to him so he’s not contributing to philosophy
@PlayOfLifeOfficial i am aware -hence why i said “formulation” like putting together and presenting the ideas in his unique way.
You summed up the analysis paralysis with the decision tree all to well. I've never thought of this before and it seemed dead right to me. Sylvia was an excellent writer and her insight being relevant today really proves this to me, thanks.
Dude I just woke up nice timing!!!
But in open individualism, I am the fig tree and all the figs. In empty individualism, I am only ever the singular time-slice of a moment of qualia/experience with an illusion of psychological continuity. The attachment is what I can control, regardless of whether I can or do "experience everything". To experience everything is to be Mara, to be deluded in Samsara. Rather than an absurdist laughter and stable identity, I will join the monastery and learn to be okay with being no one. Nothing will ever make me satisfied. Cultivate dispassion
As a 37 year old who's recently coming to the conclusion that I have needs that I ignored and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to have them fulfilled, this really didn't help. Damn.
@@terig8974 I’m 29 and feel the same way ☹️
So that’s the answer, I haven’t chosen the wrong path. I haven’t chosen a path at all. I can’t believe that a TH-cam video would help me have a breakthrough.
9:01 i had actually not heard this perspective example before, i really like it
it's about the journey, not the destination
A channel that teaches the art of self love through curiosity, to experience life as a story with its ups and downs instead of a combat to be won. Your videos have always brought me joy in reflection (and reminded me to enjoy that process), one of my favorite and fulfilling activities in life.
Also 3 days in a row!?!?
sisyphus 55 causes me an existential crisis
just don't stand still, but also think about your next step, you can do it, because you know how to walk.
You have no idea how perfect the timing was for this video to show up. In December, I dropped out of university again because I realized the degree I had chosen didn’t excite me. Now I think I know which degree I want, but I was scared to choose it since it’s a program where I’d need to work at the same time to afford it. However, I feel like this video gave me the answer I was looking for-or at least the beginning of the answer I need. Thank you so much.
I need this, omg you're always posting stuff that I need on the right moment!
Truth is, you don't get over it. You don't move on from it. It sticks with you for a very long time.
Yep
Wdym by "it"
@@DW-rb1if i too am confused
@@jayhassan976 They mean you don't get over that feeling. Like the idea of the other figs you could've chosen will always be there and you'll just have to live with "it" (with that constant feeling).
@@YIDB that's just not true, though. i don't mean this as a dig or anything, but not everyone is living with great regrets about their past decisions. it is possible and should be the north star that leads towards living a happy fulfilling and life
This is exactly what I needed
Any choice is right, so long as it's willed. That's the truth of the matter.
That isn’t really the point….the fear isn’t that a wrong choice was made, but rather it is the grief and paralysis on what is given up by making a choice. You lose all the other possibilities until one day you loon around and you don’t have any choices anymore.
@@dstinnettmusic I think so long as one is alive, there is always choices. It's true, we have a limited amount of time but even more so then, one should focus on the present. A rule of thumb I live by (even more so because of depression) is to 'respect myself, and my past self, as much as I do others' and so even if things turn out 'horribly' I don't regret my past choices because I know that when I made the choice, I was convinced and it was by my own will. Although it might seem pointless now, I'm a different person than I was then, and I'll make the choices that are to be made now. Sure they might seem wrong to me later, but it's fine so long as I choose.
'If you don't choose, life will for you.'
Sorry for the ramble.
Your advice is the embodiment of hope to many..
No one cares but I've been in a fucked state for years and man this channel truly and genuinely is one of the most thoughtful and comforting things I've discovered in awhile.
Thanks random dude who also experiences anguish daily
My existential crisis is not overwhelming amount of options, it is the lack of them completely
Currently reading The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson; some of the ideas in this video are talked about in that book.
Same thing happended to me. What a coincidence
How are you posting so often recently?? Must be putting a lot of work in for us, thank you so much. I appreciate your channel a lot and just watch them during night right before I go to bed
always right on time
This is the kind of content that the 20-somethings of the world needs. The advice we never heard. It seems so obvious in retrospect. But hearing it is so different from knowing it in the back of your mind. ❤ Thanks so much.
these videos used to help a lot, but now i feel like the words just pass through me. like the good messages just don't feel the same. i don't know what's wrong
You're not going to resonate with everything he posts, in general few things resonate which is why it is so wonderful to find the rare thing that does--there's nothing wrong with you in terms of this
Thank you Sisyphus.. needed this
This is very relatable. I have many dreams and have a hard time to choose what to pursue but the longer I wait the harder it will get.
"Success shouldn't even be on your mind at this age" needed that❤️
Guys i got a fig tattoo 4 yrs ago for this reason but i still haven't found my way.. 26 and my figs r rotting!! Love to all may we all find peace and purpose 🙆🤞
Your ability to craft a clear and cohesive, philosophical argument is profound and gives me hope that all is not lost between the gap of academia and the commons. Thank you for this powerful video essay.
I lost my job a day after my birthday- after experience extreme trauma, last night someone finally told me just how many people found me attractive at one point but thought I lacked confidence- some who I just assumed I had no chance with and it shattered everything for me. I missed so many fucking opportunities to be with people. I think everyone thinks I’m the one guy that has potential… but nothing ever comes of it. Nothing bad’s ever resolved, nothing good’s ever had for more than 5 minutes, and around people I try to stay optimistic but I don’t think we’re gonna fucking survive- and I’m absolutely ducking PISSED I’m not the only one who thinks that.
I just turned 21 and it’s already rough from 21 years of bullshit and complex trauma. I’ve rarely ever finished anything or been fucking consistent with literally ANYTHING, and I wonder if I ever will… but I guess that’s a lot of people, and I wanna still try for some reason.
I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m rambling- I’m just I don’t know, I’m losing it. I don’t wanna give up because I’d hurt so many people but I wanna give up soooo god damn bad because I can’t fucking take this shit. These are supposed to be my best years?! Every god damn year i can guarantee there’s gonna be something devastating and traumatic that makes me wanna just wanna end things- I mean fuck, my dad forgot that I was assaulted or just doesn’t think it was.
I keep going back to square 1. Every time I make progress it all gets fucked over somehow. Every time I have one of those “oh I’d kill for that” it turns into just another haunting experience that ends agonizingly.
I don’t know why I’m ranting, I’m sorry if you had to read that, I’m not giving up. Take care
You are 21. Calm down.
everyone takes life at their own pace, and there are a lifetime of opportunities ahead of you. take it easy, man.
You’re awesome for this. Thank you for sharing. You are observant even at 21. We need ppl like you. You do have something to give back, remember that. We all do. Talk to yourself like an older brother, someone who is loving but real with you. Also watch Healthy Gamer GG if you don’t already on TH-cam. Learn. At your age focus on learning and experiencing. Applying, making a difference, it comes more naturally after this phase.
Your life just started. I'm 17 and i'm going through almost the exact same thing. I missed out on so many opportunities and relationships because i was shy, and i can't help but wonder who i could've been. Even if I wonder, i know that it's in the past now, and i can't change it, and that's okay. I know that this period in your life and mine, will pass.
I feel your pain, but you need to put things into perspective. We've all experienced shtty jobs that we walked away from (or were fired). This is very normal when you're younger - you try a variety of jobs to find a good fit. Some work, some don't. If you make your life harder by stressing over this one event, you will literally make yourself sick. You are only 21. Shit happens sometimes and you have to literally pick yourself back up and move forward. Everyone has been through this. EVERYONE. Welcome to our tribe.
Dude, i have always watched with no comment to upload but i gotta say that this video felt straight up like a balm in my wounds. Nice as always.
I wish someone understood this well enough to tell me while I was in high school. I felt terrified of all the choices: what to study, what career path I want to start, what hobbies I should have, and when to start dating. I felt terrified in college, too, all because I refused to commit to being a student. I could feel my self-image changing, and I couldn't let it change in the wrong ways.
I'm still a little bit like that, but I've been learning.
this channel is beyond a blessing. this is information that psychologists have never been able to give me.
I've watched close to all of your videos and this is for sure on of the best. Especially the reference to sisyphus at the end sums up it well :)
This is the exact dilema ive been stuck in for a long time but ive not been able to put it into words, this whole time ive been too busy pondering what could happen to ever get shit done also ill give that book(siddhartha) very good video
It's always stunning to me how when a new video of yours comes out, it's usually exactly what I need to hear. Bravo man. Keep up the excellent work :)
Analysis paralysis mixed with a dreading sense of time passing.
That’s a killer combo (quite literally)
Thanks for putting that image in my head to ruminate forever.
"I appreciate your emphasis on taking action. Do you have any tips for overcoming fear of failure?"
Thank you, Sisyphus 55! Hope that belief won't vanish from my head in another anxious brainstorm
Would just like to say thank you your videos help me sift through the noise in my head
choose your role
commit to your bit
take the applause
in the melodrama of life
even the housewife
has the best role
the test is soul
how well you play
not the hell you say
what you did along that way
to help others stay
in character
so real for that bro
The moment for this video to appear in my feed was the best, I really needed it! Thank you and congratulations❗
This was exactly the video I needed to see thank you
Thanks alot man, you are litterlaly the best!
wow man you just made me so much hopeful again. Thanks, I was lost
Your timing is always impeccable
he is in our heads
@@ash-rc2xv truly
Brilliant take on the positive aspects of settling! Embracing stability allows us to build a strong foundation, from which we can make more confident strides towards personal growth and understanding. 🌱
hell yeah we gettin out of the existential crisis with this one ❗💥💢🗣
3:30 good point but I decided to not pursue masters degree not because of career path uncertainty but rather due to the realization that it’s just not worth it all to have it as a show off or accomplishment. A light cost benefit analysis would show how overpriced the MS degree is depending on your field.
i needed this so badly rn
Great video and very helpful for me right now.
You know what? Maybe watching Sisyphus 55 videos instead of doing schoolwork isn't completely for nothing...
I didnt believe the coincidences until NOW, I had a breakdown in the last few days and you drop this?? Where are the microphones so I can tell all my little problemsss
So these are the problems of people, who have everything, including a house to live, enough money to buy food, things of everyday life etc. And still discontent with their life.
I will admit thank you bro you saved me at my lows
thank you brother ☝
bro actually talked about getting over an existential crisis
With any given choice, we have opportunity costs, and surely, those figs we miss are sweeter than the ones we got.
Thank you for sharing this
❤ thanks for the thoughtful content, really makes a difference 🙂
5:36 I legit went crazy trying to figure out what I just saw
Looks like some tree
Thank you so much!!
Subscribed 🤘🏼🏔️
thanks for this dude
Thank you✨
needed this
I find if you ground yourself and look at how much you have changed in life it’s hard to feel as if nothing matters
Mine is over since April, but it's good to know for the next one...
Recently, I've been having a terrible existential crisis. I shouldn't be having one, I thought, I'm pretty young and look at all my other friends? Classmates? Teachers? Hell, even my parents. This is quite new. First it was lack of sleep, with signs of depression. On one day, lying down, doing nothing, I began to wonder about life. Do I even exist? For what reason? What's the thing about death again? I'd hate to age. What happens after death? Does God exist? What happens after death...Am I, even real? Honestly, I still don't know. It feels like nothings working. I feel dread, but also 'woke' and 'conscious'. I don't know what to say. I'm filling with dread and contemplating even living. Crazy, a few years ago, the best years of my life. Now, absolutely hell. I try to enjoy everyday. Just won't work. But thanks to this video, I've gained a new perspective, and realised im not alone, I guess. Thanks. I hope everyone going thru this recovers.
Thank you
It’s been two weeks since I’ve watched this the first time . I love rocks.
Thank you sisyphus
Damn, never thought of it that way
My issue isn't that I can't choose. It's that I spent the last ten years pursuing one thing and I couldn't get it and now I have to settle
bruh, that responding to kdot diss is a sneaky one.
Beautiful video, thank you
perfect timing as always thank you for getting me out of my doomer mindset time after time again
Right on time
❤ You Sisyphus55
Bro HOW. I woke up thinking about this. Freaky.
Idk a rock symbolizes stability. Then again, a rock rolling careening back down hill towards you can definitely describe how you feel when it call comes crashing down 😅 I call it being crucified when you know that what you were doing was inherently good, and it feels like the whole word is against you. He’s right though, it’s a process of learning.
to become what you want you much let go of wanting at all
what if you have no idea of what you wanna become but everything is slipping away at the same time ?
@@ash-rc2xv you have no idea ? good.
just take a chance the first thing that seems you want to do, if by the end you don't like it, go for the others. just don't give up too fast.
I became what I am by living what I was - through the process of settling. I've settled so many times I've lost track. You can ask my ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, and former employers if you need references.
Just in time
Life is about finding rather than seeking
Might I say, you COOKED 🔥🔥🔥
How is it that these videos feel so real?
this feels like it's about to be an hour and a half long video where Ben rediscovers how to be human