Thanks to our sponsors this week! Use code Tim30 to save 30% www.sheathunderwear.com/ magicspoon.com/timdillon use code TIMD www.manscaped.com/ Bonus episodes every week www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
Thabk you guys for upgrading the studio!!!! This is way easier on the eyes. Make no mistake, this is BY FAR............... the best looking chill ass studio ive ever seen. God i love the whites!!!! 😚🤘🏻
@Floyd Dobbler not a joke buddy, I identify as Mel Gibson from Braveheart. Except more gender fluid, and transified. Also surprisingly straight. Idk how but that's just how the stats add up. Thanks for your concern though.
"...and I have blue toes …and I'm speaking perfect Mandarin..." at 00:35, could not imagine a more eclectic beginning for a podcast, and it just gets better from there...Tim must be either AI or alien, he is far too funny to be human as we know it. Ben is great too, his laughs are perfect punctuation to Tim's brilliant scorched earth rants.
Between the fake healing and all the fake business I’m doing while reading fake news I’m actually faking my way into a real mortgage to buy a house that was purchased for $1,340,000 in 2006 that’s now valued at $280,000 in 2021. Thanks Tim. 💸 I will sell before the next sub prime mortgage housing bubble crash and make real money! Wish me luck in my future fake enterprises.
My fave part was that he destroys these 2 drug addicted lesbians for 2 whole hiurs and then says...we might owe these two ladies an apology lmfaooooooo! TD is killing it!!!
I trust the Gorton's fisherman too, good stuff and surprised when I heard Tim say it. Been eating it for years and I'm sure Gorton's enjoys the publicity.
Wow, that plus the $500 Christmas gift and $80.00 candle. These peoples' economic status is not anywhere close to anything I have ever experienced. On the rare occasion I have given someone a $30 gift (which is well in the past now, though it did cost me $20.00 to mail just a few items to my 92 year old mother this year), it was a stretch.
@@HistoryHyenas interesting that my comment that joked about your over sensitivity of Papasmurfs funny comment got removed. Must be because it was funnier (or less embarrassing) than calling someone a zero. Sick burn yo 🤣
Girlfriend had friends like that, pretentious on top of it. I offered to back over them with my car before she cut them off. She declined. What a disappointment.
Tim seems to be the only comedian that can pull off covid comedy on command. I like that he doesn't beg you right off to follow and like his stuff. So this is where we're at...
@@CH-ml4rz it's about the day trader who left the big firm and went out on his own. I was running a day trading business at the time. So I found it especially funny. It had commentary like "your drinking whiskey in your office which is just a room watching hardcore porn. Feeling the market. And you gotttttta get Monday.com." hilarious man.
I am a complete loser in my 30s with no prospects no family no drive and absolutely no hope... But I will continue to live as long as tim Dillon reminds me of this twice a week!
"she has an autoimmune disease, do you know the symptoms of this?!" "Means you get inflammation like all over your body... And then you try to kill your father" Me: 😱😱😱😱
@@nathanhensn8717 the point is that she cured her own disease and people give her shit about it because it’s all meat. But they wouldn’t give her shit if they knew anything about her life growing up and how the disease ruined her life, but people don’t even look into what her systems were to realize she did indeed cure hereeld
Hey Tim, I doubt you'll read this but I just wanted to let you know this podcast really inspired me to stop eating healthy and start cramming chocolate chips into my mouth :)
For a number of years I worked at a resort the entire Baldwin family loves to frequent. Its a spa in upstate ny and I can tell you from experience Hilaria is the best and sometimes only tipper out of all of them, so i rly couldn't give a shit about her grift
You're not wrong, I had a fantasy this morning about slaughtering all the rich and redistributing the wealth to the lower class while imagining I was in my new lambo
well it's more that you've eliminated what causes inflammation..the carbs, starches, sugars, flours, etc..but a bunch of meat with no fiber, eventually turns into a colon disaster, like brock lesnar, etc.
@@kaizen5415 Hey, he's on the right path, and he's going to be a better man than he was. I think there's truth to what your'e saying though, and hopefully this comes around to people sooner than later
“It is only When you presuppose the metaphysical notion that meat will purify your inflammation and inflammation adjacent problems can you conquer the hoard of gold behind the serpent’s eye”
Most likely you just got rid of one thing you were eating that was causing the issue. Now you can slowly add things back to your diet one by one until your symptoms come back, then you know which food you are probably just allergic to. Eating only meat is not healthy, you could have done the same thing only eating pinto beans too, but both of those things long term are probably worse for you than whatever was causing your inflation in the first place.
I can relate to this so much. We got a bad rating at an Airbnb and we literally cleaned everything except for like 4 dishes in the sink, from right before we left and the stove. And the guy was definitely weird as shit he had a giant statue of a character all contorted with his ass up in the air. Wtf did we pay like a $200 cleaning fee for? Are we supposed to scrub the stovetop
My friend in highschool went away on a field trip and came back german. We all had to call him Hans for the rest of the year and I think even beyond. He also started rapping as a fake german. Good ol Hans
Thanks to our sponsors this week!
Use code Tim30 to save 30% www.sheathunderwear.com/
magicspoon.com/timdillon
use code TIMD www.manscaped.com/
Bonus episodes every week www.patreon.com/thetimdillonshow
Thabk you guys for upgrading the studio!!!! This is way easier on the eyes. Make no mistake, this is BY FAR............... the best looking chill ass studio ive ever seen. God i love the whites!!!! 😚🤘🏻
Dope shirt bro, but when are you going to talk about the mossad? They got you too!?
Why are you always complaining?
Yessssssssiiirrrrrrrr. Fuck covid take some apple cider vinegar
Yes or Yes
i feel at home watching this podcast. sitting alone on a weekend wondering where my life went wrong as a gay man yells at me for my inadequacies
Welcome to the family
One of us
We are legion
The 1st rule about the Tim Dillon club is that we don't talk about the Tim Dillon club
yeah its nice to have the voice on a screen rather than deep in my subconsciousness
"What I do with this show is i clear my schedule" 😩😹😭 the level of honesty
Crazy coincidence, I read your comment exaclty as Tim said it. Hahaha perfect Timing.
51:33 His Joshua Tree Airbnb story is the highlight, holy shit!
Tim is slowly losing his mind and we're all reaping the benefits.
Moving to L.A. didn't help his sanity, but it probably helped his comedy.
If he moved to Austin, I don't know if it will be the same.
Ben’s face as Tim describes murdering someone with his “best bud” 😂
It is impossible to do workout and listen to this yet another masterpiece of a podcast.
He said it's so risky eating cake and smoking cigs now a days. I must be Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
More racist though... probably idk for sure but maybe.
@Floyd Dobbler not a joke buddy, I identify as Mel Gibson from Braveheart. Except more gender fluid, and transified. Also surprisingly straight. Idk how but that's just how the stats add up. Thanks for your concern though.
38:30-39:23 is just... it’s comedy gold.
Tim you make life worth living. Bless you.
"...and I have blue toes …and I'm speaking perfect Mandarin..." at 00:35, could not imagine a more eclectic beginning for a podcast, and it just gets better from there...Tim must be either AI or alien, he is far too funny to be human as we know it. Ben is great too, his laughs are perfect punctuation to Tim's brilliant scorched earth rants.
Between the fake healing and all the fake business I’m doing while reading fake news I’m actually faking my way into a real mortgage to buy a house that was purchased for $1,340,000 in 2006 that’s now valued at $280,000 in 2021. Thanks Tim. 💸
I will sell before the next sub prime mortgage housing bubble crash and make real money! Wish me luck in my future fake enterprises.
Now that’s some real fake business 👌
Is it just me or is this podcast funnier than anything on TV
The week is not complete with ordering doordash an stuffing my face to tim d
so what IS your week complete with?
Without?
Happy new year Tim!
Tim Dillon is legit one of the top 10 funniest comedians in the world . Prove me wrong
Tim "I have bloodclots & blue toes" Dillon.
A Fake Business convention sounds amazing
Thank you Tim
That magic spoon AD read 😂😂
Tim hires a lazy maid to feel better about himself. 🤣🤣
fitting i get a vrbo ad on this
Got an ad for Tik Tok about making Ice Cream Cake. Sounds like you could develop a beneficial relationship with the dancing kids, Tim.
Dude that first ad read was insane.
Holy shit that air bnb roast fucked me up!
Also Lex is the man
Tims shirt is from the Target clearance rack.
Comedy Gold right here 😳🤣
My fave part was that he destroys these 2 drug addicted lesbians for 2 whole hiurs and then says...we might owe these two ladies an apology lmfaooooooo! TD is killing it!!!
Ben has the greatest job in the world
Tim Dillon's cleaning lady sounds funny.
I trust the Gorton's fisherman too, good stuff and surprised when I heard Tim say it. Been eating it for years and I'm sure Gorton's enjoys the publicity.
More like 3-4 days away from a civil war
She's not in MS13.... I'm in love with Tim 😭😭😂😂😂😂
Tim is always God. Wait, I mean always with God. No. Wait. I was right the first time.
This is the ad that might get me to buy Manscaped.
If you tell these people that Spain is actually a white European country and not somewhere in Latin America will they still care about Hilaria's sin?
500 DOLLARS FOR A XMAS GIFT ?? LOL go to walmart - spend 60.00
for everything hahaha
I spent about 15 mins looking up the dyke palace in Joshua tree after the Airbnb piece.... Fucking astute
All you need to do is bring 4chan into this man
EVERY sunday morning at 5am...... do i care my roommates might be disturbed, no or no?
Does anyone know where I can see the Tim Dillon Alex Jones show he referenced?
Tim Dillon is the Chris Farley of fake business
"Yooo it's my Wacky cousin from Long Island
BUY WALLET"
This is my favorite one lol
Lmao we may owe these 2 women an apology 😂😂😂
Is he talking about the pod he did with Alex jones on jre in the beginning
I am now a Hilaria Baldwin defender.
The bow and arrow joke was great. Going full circle.
Lmfao! $2100 a night air bnb and he has fish sticks from vons for dinner. i love it
fish sticks and ketchup i bet.. probably won't spring for the tarter sauce
@@jimsblendgarrison6884 he did say they left tartar everywhere Lol
I thought he said $400 a night
@@gingernichols8419 that is the cleaning charges I guess
Wow, that plus the $500 Christmas gift and $80.00 candle. These peoples' economic status is not anywhere close to anything I have ever experienced. On the rare occasion I have given someone a $30 gift (which is well in the past now, though it did cost me $20.00 to mail just a few items to my 92 year old mother this year), it was a stretch.
This is how we fake heal our country.
Many fake blessings!
I agree, It's time to get back to fake business.
that cease and desist order from Ralph Lauren was a real knife fight
Its what this country deserves. For profit only. #FakeHealingBusiness2021
@@scottdavidson3108 FUBU is looking like a potential replacement
THE NEW STUDIO IS FUKIN CAYUTE!!!! TIMMY AND BEN ARE KILLING IT YAAASSSSSSS
@@1PapaSmurfio1 lol we commented on our friends youtube video......go listen to one of your chill music playlists you ZERO
@@HistoryHyenas interesting that my comment that joked about your over sensitivity of Papasmurfs funny comment got removed. Must be because it was funnier (or less embarrassing) than calling someone a zero. Sick burn yo 🤣
We need a crossover with all four of you
@@infidelmat I never trust people named Mat with one T
@@Cheeki_breeki6 that makes as much sense as HH is funny lol
Tim Dillon your maid has already mastered your style of fake business.
hahahaha
ADGO, how funny to run into you here! I love your channel! Our taste in music is as similar as our sense of humor it seems, lol.
this should be pinned
Masterfully done!
Soon she'll start selling jewelry-and opportunities.
I didn’t kill myself just so I could watch the Tim Dillon show
Covid did.
Yes you did
Shhhh
Yes or yes
You’ve been waiting all day to say that
"Live, Laugh, Love, Chardonnay b**ch!" -I'm dying laughing over here!!!
That one got me too lol
Your videos are the best man
Funny seeing you here!! I watch ur vids
Girlfriend had friends like that, pretentious on top of it. I offered to back over them with my car before she cut them off. She declined. What a disappointment.
Holy shit my guitar teacher watches Tim Dillon 🤣
Whitney Cummings was last seen near Nancy Pelosi’s house.
Doesn't check out. She'd want credit from the onset.
i dont get it
☠️💀☠️☠️☠️
We're there any animals in danger near by.... Then it's believable
She'd write "Strong woman, I love you" on Pelosi's house.
Tim seems to be the only comedian that can pull off covid comedy on command. I like that he doesn't beg you right off to follow and like his stuff. So this is where we're at...
You better! Or it might be time to break out the butcher trucks. 😒
Bro rogan already said schulz figured out rona comedy. The rogan hath spoken
Good point, yes I love that he just launches right into his podcasts in lieu of immediate self-promotion.
@@dirtydee1233 sure Schultz is clever but Tim is funny without trying.
@@rushofwaves right...right...
i'm doown for the pop up restaurant
Looks like joe de Rosa is a laying a path
grilled chesses on deckk
Look who's here
As long as they call it "Tim Grillon".
I want the seminar
“Being who you are is stupid” - Tim Dillon 2021
I didn’t think it was possible but Tim Dillon keeps getting funnier each week. He is a true genius. No one comes close, absolutely love this guy!
Yes Sir, he's one of the best!
He is taking a looooot of inspiration from Sam Hyde and I'm sure he reads dailystormer. Both of which I can recommend regardless your politics
word he is getting more funny and more funny
yesRyes
@@Djejjcjqjjwjfkckcje you are correct. I just hope he gets the money and fame he surely deserves.
@@Togmot And you know these things for a fact?
Next week on the show: Ben gets pegged by his wife while Tim sits there shouting "yaaaassssss Queennnn!"
Life in the big city
straight up the ass raw dog with the rash
SUS
“I speak perfect mandarin” folks..there is a new 🐐
you spelled mandalorian wrong you f'king Candice Owens impersonator
@@nivangunaratne2788 he said Mandarin though, twice.
@@wut3358 oh wurd?
@@nivangunaratne2788 The poetic justice that you spelled Candace Owens wrong.
Really insanely hilarious
Catherine Zeta Jones is Welsh. If you want minority points that’s A++, the Welsh are a minority even in their own country.
Errrrmm diolch?? But yeah she's Welsh through and through.
J Hart :
Dim broblem ac blwyddyn newedd dda i ti y cont. 😂
catherine zeta jones in ZORRO was my crush (girl id think about when jackin it) for years. ahh the memories.
She dips beneath lasers OhOOHo
@@cameron1746 yes
frankly, Tim has saved my life. he has brought clarity to my late cloudy mind. thank you TD. i’m extremely grateful. we don’t deserve you.
Same. He’s got a beautiful soul.
He’s not just a comedian, but a friend who cares. Yes or yes?
Best cult ever! Yes or YES
Literally saved my life as well. Probably would’ve blown my head off if I hadn’t found my man Timothy here....
Stupidity of this reminds me of stupidity in my videos. I like it 😑😑
I don’t even smoke ciggies but smoking a pack and eating cold stone cake with a friend, sounds like a good time to me ...
Its delightful.
Blegh
DO PILLS LIKE AN ADULT
Sounds like a fantastic way to spend a Wednesday night with your roommate then look at the clock and realize you have to be at work in 2 hours...
That magic spoon ad was the best fucking ad read I have ever heard.
Ben acting out on Manscaped tho 🤣🤣🤣
Please check out the ad for Monday .com on episode 160.( the episode he does from a bed) I think it was the best of all time. TD is a genius.
@@nickysantoro9194 is that the moon base one?
@@CH-ml4rz it's about the day trader who left the big firm and went out on his own. I was running a day trading business at the time. So I found it especially funny. It had commentary like "your drinking whiskey in your office which is just a room watching hardcore porn. Feeling the market. And you gotttttta get Monday.com." hilarious man.
@@CH-ml4rz I just verified. Its episode 160 at 1hour and 1 minute. Fing hilarious.
Tim and Ben. ❤️ That blunt asking of why he doesn’t let his wife peg him. Lol.
I just heard that part like 10 seconds ago..... Really came out of left field
@@B-RaDD time stamp?
@@AroundtheTubeNews at 1:06:50
@Big Crunch and "Mens" Health.
Tim speaks to my soul. I'm mentally ill
No one is perfect, alot of folks are a hair away from losing it especially right meow
Same. I feel him in my soul
Same. Up high 🙌🏽
This episode reminds me of Joe exotic making his shows on Carol Baskin
You beat me to posting this lol exactly what I was thinking. He better hope these broads don’t randomly disappear 😂😂😂
I am a complete loser in my 30s with no prospects no family no drive and absolutely no hope...
But I will continue to live as long as tim Dillon reminds me of this twice a week!
Don't die before the collapse, it will be fun.
Having kids is overrated
You can be like me, just sit back an enjoy the apocalypse all around you, till you become one with the smolder and inferno all around you.
You’re all right there’s only one way to go...watching it all turn to ash 😂
You're in the right place then as we're all like that
As a member of the Hispanic community, we accept Hilaria Baldwin, until she starts to act up again. . . , which means she would be put ON NOTICE!!!
OHn-Nohhhhtiiiiiccce yas
IT IS WHAT IT IS
ON NOTAAAAACE!!!!!!
Then we have to see her in a different way
YASSSSSSSSSS!
Tim Hit levels on this one just wow holy s***.
FOR CHRIST!!!!!!!!
He does whatever this is better than most!
It’s a rolling boil the whole way through!
No one focuses on the struggles of the rich
him clearing his schedual after the mikaela invite fucking killed me
Tims impression of bens wife kills me😂
The neon lights gives an extra glow on Tim Dillon's red face . He looks magnificent !
Baa-coock
"she has an autoimmune disease, do you know the symptoms of this?!"
"Means you get inflammation like all over your body... And then you try to kill your father"
Me: 😱😱😱😱
40:59
Did she try to kill her dad?
@@nathanhensn8717 no lmao
@@nathanhensn8717 the point is that she cured her own disease and people give her shit about it because it’s all meat. But they wouldn’t give her shit if they knew anything about her life growing up and how the disease ruined her life, but people don’t even look into what her systems were to realize she did indeed cure hereeld
@@jordanchristman144 I think the $600 con artist consulting program is a bit of a problem...and the medical coma thing
Ben is the perfect sidekick
"without an ego you can best #2 in the world" - Jerry Garcia
You mean as a secretary
@@Djejjcjqjjwjfkckcje what are close friends for? ben loves it.
Ray Kump was so much better than Ben. did you see the show when ray was cohost? it was pure gold. Tim Dillon is Going to Hell is what it was called.
“She’s not in MS-13, ....she not selling sliced mangos with paprika” the Great Tim Dillion LMFAO 🤣🤣
Two golden retrievers were killed in Nashville that’s it?.~Tim Dillon (Whitney has unfollowed Tim Dillon)
Lol
Hey Tim, I doubt you'll read this but I just wanted to let you know this podcast really inspired me to stop eating healthy and start cramming chocolate chips into my mouth :)
“Listen to me- I didn’t do anything wrong in that back house” - Ray Kump
How many times do you think ben looks over and thinks “ hes going to get us thrown into gitmo”
Stop letting Ben come to the show drunk. He’s out of control, derailed the whole episode during the ads. He needs an intervention NOW!
Lol timmy u went ham on those piglets. The way u open up a door to a darker room through the epsiode is beautiful.
@Floyd Dobbler LOVED this
I laughed more tonite then i have in months. This was gold. Every minute.
I'm glad I saw this before you're banned. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
For a number of years I worked at a resort the entire Baldwin family loves to frequent. Its a spa in upstate ny and I can tell you from experience Hilaria is the best and sometimes only tipper out of all of them, so i rly couldn't give a shit about her grift
Tim is for sure on a watchlist after this episode
Tim Dillon is Steven Crowder's alter-ego who:
1) Came out of the closet.
2) Makes people laugh.
I thought Crowder being a gay was a well known fact
@@alancantu2557 It's a glass closet.
@@brentbarrus9754 makes sense
Crowder is trying for what Dillon has, already, not comedy but gravitas.
Yeah just like alex jones is the alter ego of oprah. Shutup nerd.
The episode takes a wild turn at Tim's air bnb rant
"Americans just want to fight for something, they don't even care what it is."
USA! USA! USA!
"Whitney is probably in a youth hostel" 😂😂🤣🤣
That blue hair 😬😬
@Steve Mo
Oh fuck yea, she looks like she’s coming off the gack 🤙🏼
Lol,, Whitney Cummings has Cut Dillon off..
It was on the Cards..
"We may owe these two ladies an apology" 😁😁
You're not wrong, I had a fantasy this morning about slaughtering all the rich and redistributing the wealth to the lower class
while imagining I was in my new lambo
Sounds Hitler ish..
Tim is right, the carnivore diet cured my inflammation. Thrilled I'll be cured in time to be a pallbearer at my fathers funeral.
well it's more that you've eliminated what causes inflammation..the carbs, starches, sugars, flours, etc..but a bunch of meat with no fiber, eventually turns into a colon disaster, like brock lesnar, etc.
@@kaizen5415 Hey, he's on the right path, and he's going to be a better man than he was. I think there's truth to what your'e saying though, and hopefully this comes around to people sooner than later
“It is only When you presuppose the metaphysical notion that meat will purify your inflammation and inflammation adjacent problems can you conquer the hoard of gold behind the serpent’s eye”
You idiots are talking about meat?!? This is what's happening; your father doesn't deserve a funeral he voted Biden!
Most likely you just got rid of one thing you were eating that was causing the issue. Now you can slowly add things back to your diet one by one until your symptoms come back, then you know which food you are probably just allergic to. Eating only meat is not healthy, you could have done the same thing only eating pinto beans too, but both of those things long term are probably worse for you than whatever was causing your inflation in the first place.
"I've never murdered anyone, but it looks AMAAAAZING" oh my god lmfaooooo
Tim finds the humor of the current Zeitgeist perfectly...there is no one better ...he virtually destroys at will.
Tim is spitting some iconic lines this episode
I can relate to this so much. We got a bad rating at an Airbnb and we literally cleaned everything except for like 4 dishes in the sink, from right before we left and the stove. And the guy was definitely weird as shit he had a giant statue of a character all contorted with his ass up in the air. Wtf did we pay like a $200 cleaning fee for? Are we supposed to scrub the stovetop
I have laughed out loud more in the last 2 days binge watching Tim Dillon's show than I have in 5 years. Fluking HILARIOUS, 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
My friend in highschool went away on a field trip and came back german. We all had to call him Hans for the rest of the year and I think even beyond. He also started rapping as a fake german. Good ol Hans
Damn fr? That's mad lol
Lol that's hilarious
I read rapping as raping, and that would be way more terrifying... Good ol Hans the raper...
@@jordanmercier3616 i read it as gunman loool
@@jordanmercier3616 omg lolololllllllll
My dad smokes Marlboro ultralight 100’s. They still make them. It’s just illegal to call them lights or ultralights. They’re named by color now.