Be the boyfriend you wish to have. Work on your health, nutrition and body. Nothing wrong with bettering yourself. Grow, change, evolve. Live your life and it’ll happen ❤️
Interesting that the same things men require of women (be skinny, beautiful, young) is what now has them in a chokehold and seen as "shallow" Karma is SWEET
This is so relatable! I always thought it was because i wasn't attractive enough, interesting enough, wealthy enough, but now I'm realizing that I am fine and need to keep working on my inner self. You are very cute btw.
You are wrong about one thing....I fell in love with you just watching this video!! You are such a beautiful person inside and out. You are young and still have your life ahead of you....anyone as perceptive and introspective as you will be successful in life.....and that should include experiencing a deep love. Although, I totally get the part about life's priorities being in conflict with the desire for love, wanting to love someone and be loved, and experiencing true intimacy and emotional bonding with another human. I have struggled with this exact thing all of my adult life. Keep the faith....remember to focus on the things you have that make you happy rather than the things you don't have that make you unhappy. 🥰😘❤
I never met anyone who showed the slightest interest in me that way, but I never expected them to; I'm physically unattractive and have some serious health issues. This bothered me greatly until I was in my mid-40's. I realized it would never happen so I got on with life and learned to enjoy it as it was.
You should never close your heart and yourself from being loved as also never make your health issues be the main part of your life. I also have a chronical disease and intolerances through it but I still found love (I'm not the most attractive either) and I'm happy with my hubby for 10 years now. Just put yourself out there and be open for it. :) Looks and Attractiveness are not the most important part in a relationship and what one finds ugly, finds someone else as very attractive and wonderfull. Wish you all the best!
No one has ever loved me when I loved them. I've had people love me but I never loved them. I'm now 68 years old and would still like to love and be loved back just once.
Dude people are crazy. You are absolutely gorgeous!!! Your personality is sweet and beautiful. The right man just isn’t there yet. It will happen when you’re not looking. Keep being you!!!!❤️
Let's face it. Gay men are even more visual than their straight counterparts. Looks, physique, and other attributes are VERY important to gay men. It could be possible this young man has had some interesting, and maybe even attractive guys show interest in him. (He's a good-looking guy. I find it hard to believe they wouldn't.) But maybe he just wasn't into them. Because they weren't good-looking enough for him. Sometimes we create our own problems through our own heightened expectations. I'm not saying this has happened with this guy, but it isn't uncommon. If one truly wants love, maybe it's okay to go for the nice, good-looking and attractive guy, rather than holding out for the stud muffin. Many men (especially good looking men like this guy) feel they are only worthy if the stud muffin wants them. And I have found that's a waste of time because the pretty boy type knows everyone wants him and he will be much more difficult to pin down. And then keep. Because the grass will always be greener elsewhere for him. And then leave guys like this wondering what's wrong with them.
I'm 57 and I have finally come to the point where I truly love myself. I spent my childhood being what my parents wanted me to be and a 22 year marriage trying to be what my ex-husband needed me to be. Loving yourself is the ultimate thing to conquer. Never 'change' yourself to attract someone else. Focus on you and when you are ready he will show up when and where you least expect it. Travel the world and have adventures. I see you and what I see is a sweet and lovable man!
Media, Society, even my parents believed that you need someone to complete you but I refuse to accept this unacceptable premise because I complete myself as well as my God …….
It's ok to wait patiently for true love to come rather than ending up with a wrong person because you're rushing to be in a relationship. True love comes at the moment you least expect it.
Sage advice from your friend! 🙌🏼💯 There are no deadlines for life’s milestones; screw what society has told you to do. Be you, do you, and live your best authentic story because there is only one of you and you only get one life to do it. Everything’s going to be okay and you’re going to be and do amazing things! (:
Joy is so attractive. Find folks who do the things you love to do. Passion for making your life wonderful to you is one helluva great trip. Plus you learn to love other things. OMG to be were you are again. The options are so boundless. Here you stress over what you don't have not what you do have. Ask yourself: what aside from the physical attracts you to another person? They doubtless have a passion. That is where some of the best relationships come from. I was with my first partner for 32 years and is still my best friend (and I love his husband). My 2nd husband and I have been together for 8 years now. My husband is just so wonderful to be in the same house with. I am so jealous of your potential to find someone that brings you the joy you will give them. Enjoy the adventure!!!!
You articulate your thoughts very well. I know many of us think these things, but it’s nice to hear others share how they’re feeling. It’s like a form of therapy in some ways. Thanks for posting! Be well! ✌🏻👍🏻✌🏻
I feel u because it’s the exact same thing as me thank u fir completely exsplaining me 💯 % am glad am not the only one going through it ❤love from Canada
Your accent is super adorable...You have good points to reflect on but don't get stuck in that perception in the shallows ...you're still figuring life out xo
this video resonates with me being a 23 year old feeling like i got robbed of relationship ideals that don’t exist. it makes me feel defeated that no one has ever looked at me with genuine intention of being with me, but i guess it’s due time. i will try hard to fall in love with myself until im comfortable not always yearning for love.
I can relate to you. Wish could meet you in person and really talk about all these things with you rather than just watching you. But i feel great to get a chance to share your life in this video even just for awhile
Vulnerability makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable so we learn to hide & suppress those feelings. Expressing his feelings so openly makes him brave, even exceptional as so many of us gay men deal with so much insecurities it’s really hard to trust and reveal ourselves, we sometimes feel we are the only ones that can love us.
Hey there, Santiago! :) I don't know why this video showed up but amen to "complete alignment". It's funny because you reflect back to me my own struggles in romantic love and the wisdom that comes with it. Over the years, I must say that I have grown exponentially as a person because of all the challenges that I've been through making me appreciate more the ones that I am currently facing. I am just glad that I am at a point right now where I can see my outdated patterns and not judge, but instead appreciate 'em for what they are -a fertile ground of shits transformed/transmuted to become fertilizers where I can anchor my roots supporting my growth. I don't pretend to know all your struggles in life but when I look at and listen to you, I see and hear someone who revolutionizes the idea of what true love is and of how much love we are capable of channeling that goes beyond the confine of romantic label. I wish you success in everything that you do -whatever that means to you. :) Great to know you are surrounded with amazing girl friends, too! Cheers to more opportunities like this where we can consciously recognize our alignment to the greatness of life. Cheers to love! And if the romantic one comes, I know you/we are ready for it. Namaste! :)
I absolutely love your raw authenticity and emotional vulnerability. I relate to this video on so many levels. I'm 22 and I'm also craving romantic love in my life, I've never been in love before and at times I feel desperate for romantic love. being queer often feels like I have to work harder for love for various reasons (the gay dating life is not easy). but then I look at my life and realise my current life goals aren't aligned for a serious relationship. It's not the right time and that's OK. You reminded me to focus on building a foundation for my life that centres around being happy regardless of whether I have a partner or not. I wish you love and happiness in your life, your an amazing guy. ❤
You are lucky that a young age you have so much wisdom. i tried to hide who i was. The one and only relationship i had took advantage of me because i allowed it to happen. I didn't love myself enough. I grew up with a very toxic narcissistic parent. All my siblings have very poor self esteem issues and most have also become narcissistic as well. They cannot care for anyone else but themselves so i don't even have family. But at least i know who they are as in the past they manipulated me. You have to live for yourself and when they say life is short, it really is!!
I went through years of one sided love affairs, either I was in love or they were...now, I just enjoy my solitude, my dogs, creating my art projects, clothing projects and furniture projects as well as my jewelry designs...I sleep when I want and wake up when I want, eat what and when I want I just have to be there for my dogs!!!! The most important thing is to happy, some people never find that one person, and that is okay, others go through a dozen serious relationships, and others have one love and never look further...so whatever your case it, doesn't matter, remember to make your happiness your top priority, because you want to give that one man the best version of yourself possible!!!
Don’t give up! Keep looking for your soulmate. I’m 65 and I have had good relationships for some periods, but now nothing is happening. I keep on looking. You are beautiful, I am sure some guy will snatch you up. Dave
I gree with you !!! The problem the most people are narcissist mood to connecting with another's. You have a sould get empathy and love to get connectedwith the right person,the universe brings the person to you ..be patient 🙏❤️😊
The transformation has to be internal. Appreciate the person that you have become . Examine your values. Focus on your life priorities and everything follows. Don’t try so hard. Take it easy one day at a time.
If I only could have someone like you Santiago. It ok to be yourself. I love your smile, content and creativity. You have one of the best personalities Ive seen in awhile. ❤
I completely understand this. I’m 42 and have wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself for… a very long time. Love comes in many forms. Casual love may not be a priority for people. But, I’d like to posit that healthy love, be it self, companion, partnership, is a priority for everyone in what ever form it takes. My life is terribly busy for several reasons. And I realize that sadly yet again, I don’t have the time to find love. But, I have several friends that I have wonderful relationships with. And right now, that’s beautiful, and enough. Someday, like you, I’d be thrilled to have a partner to travel, settle, and cry with. I hope you find yours soon.
I understand everything you just said it's very difficult to find someone to be your self around, and u end thinking u the problem for me even making friends is an issue 😢.
i feel for you on everything you said. I myself have never been in a relationship ever and im 45. But u will fnd someone you seem so genuine and handsome.
Your vulnerability & openness is something very special 🫶🏾 The universe is always with you ✨ you may feel lonely but you are never alone ♥️ Sometimes what we want and what we desire haven’t aligned and the universe wants you to be sure that what you’re asking for , you are ready to receive 😊
There’s nothing to work on except loving yourself as you are right now. It’s all ok. You are perfect just the way you are. ❤ You are love and love will find you babe.
I am ofcourse an older guy(57) and I have had my ups and downs. If you are wanting love and feel you are not enough in soo many ways it really mens that you are ready. The only thing you need is patience and fate will do its job,. Just be you, don't change who you are it will make the process hard if you are fake. YOu are a very good looking guy and I see the great potential you have and the love you will give when you find that one. He is out there and you will meet - oh and keep your senses about you to catch tht "ah-ha" moment you know he is the one. No one said that relationshiops are easy either, especially in our world. Your desire to find that boyfriend or lover i going to elude you if you keep chasing it. Be patient.
It's just that we are in a wrong place and it's hard to open up to someone and expect them to reply everything back as much as u would. Maybe I'm just afraid to take risk too most of the time. You are loveable and beautiful, everyone is. Hope we find the deserve love we genuinely need. ❤
Stop forcing things. If you know what you want, then all you can do is identify it when you see it and go for it. If you never see it, I get that can be depressing, but there's nothing to do but be patient. I was single for 12 years until 1 year ago when I met exactly the person I had been hoping to meet for most of that time. I met him by living my values and running into someone who had those same values. If you work on yourself, solidify your values, and start living them out, it is inevitable that you will meet someone with similar or the same values who is into you. Good luck, brother.
We're living very similar lives, so believe me you're not alone. It's easy to feel sad when you compare your lives to others. So I try not to do that anymore. Plus there are so many wierd guys out there sometimes being single is not so bad. I believe we'll find love someday. In the meantime do things that make you happy. I think traveling the world is a great goal.
I too have done the transformations to make myself more appealing. I've done the comfortable with being alone thing. I've taken myself on trips and outings. Having no one around to share thoughts and experiences with makes it all feel hollow though. In the end what can you do but accept that nobody wants you as their person and be at peace with that reality. It still hurts though. The thought persists: what is so wrong with me?
@@TiagoHT13 People say that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, but they will tell you "if so and so can do it, then why can't you"? Sounds hypocritical.
I felt this on every level, so what I decided to be my own love of my life(as cheesy as that sound) my own boyfriend/best friend etc, love yourselves people...work on being the best version of you, whoever reads this...I hope you have an immaculate day.
You’re amazing friend a beautiful beacon of light❤❤ keep being the beautiful person you are never change for anyone no matter what you are, your so amazing.
Hey Tiago I absolutely love this segment. 1st - it is very much relatable and I kid you not when I say RELATABLE. I have the same questions that you are asking yourself about the yearn to be in a committed relationship and to stay with a someone who you call your boyfriend/partner etc. I have lived most of my life craving for that life and it is exhausting. Especially when you feel like when you've given it your all, you've given your best to hopefully get someone's eyes on you but you keep falling back on "casual sex" which is not completely fulfilling at all. It's not only the sex life that I was craving for but most importantly someone who I can confide in, someone I can be foolish with and be fine & fun with, a genuine companion in life. I madly wanted someone to grow old with and frustrates me that I haven't got that lol. 2nd - Spending time for myself, I like to call it 'Self-Love' I try to focus less on pushing so hard on love life and try to spend more time on improving myself, most especially self-love. I thought that if I do not love myself un conditionally then how can give another individual that same unconditional love that the person deserves, how can I give something I do not have. So I mellowed down on that spend more time on self-esteem, self-love, self-respect, etc. It came to a stage where I almost felt like I didn't care no more bout it. 3rd - you mentioned in the video "the right person will come to the right version of you" YES!! but the question I always ask myself is WHEN hahaha lol. This is when you have active faith in that quality time you spend loving yourself, developing more understanding matters about your onw-self. Faith nis a very important factor in our human lives. By the way shout out to your #Girlfriends' they have such good message. Anyways, I wish you all the best and to all of us who are still out there single and all. Let's continue doing US and to hopefully have Mr. Right come around and rock our world hahahah lol. But like on a genuine note, I wish you well🖤🤩 Cheers!💘
In my personal opinion, if you want to be loved, start from loving yourself. Doing things you really like, go to somewhere you like, and be with people that cherish to be with you. When you start to do that, somehow you'll looks glowing and people will start to looking for you, and they'll fight to be with you. Good luck on your life journey. 😊 Peace ✌🏻
Santiago, your friend gave you very astute advice. It seems to me that it isn’t love that you are missing but that having a committed relationship is. You are young. Keep doing you. Now is the time for self discovery, personal and professional growth. Relationships take work! A lot of work. Focus on your professional goals right now. Along the way, you just may find someone who aligns with you and the direction you are headed in. This is something that must occur naturally. You can’t force or fake it. You are a beautiful young man, intelligent and quite likable. Keep working on growing into the best you possible. Take it from an older man who didn’t find his person until he was thirty. We had a passionate relationship that was constantly changing in nature. I buried him almost three years ago. If love finds me again, and I hope it does, I will welcome it with open arms. Everything in life is food for the future. Nurture and care for your life. It’s really all you’ve got.
Dude youre perfect! Just Beautiful ! Its in Gods timing not ours! Change your thoughts about nobody wants you , Think positive and love yourself first.
I think you are handsome, funny, insightful, and vulnerable. Im older than you but i get it. Its not easy. Id love to find love. Needs to be a best friend first. I live each day to the fullest. I travel alone but its on my mind often thinking how cool it would be to travel with my soul mate. Hang in there. Be yourself and do everything that makes you happy. If you have your health you are already blessed. Your time will come!!! Just dont change to accomodate something or someone else. You seem just right the way you are.
English may be a second language for you, but you speak with an eloquence that lacks in a majority of people I have been exposed to. This video popped up as a suggestion and my initial reaction was to swipe left, but something intervened and I found myself being introduced to a young man who I could relate to on so many levels. I wasn't planned and my parents were young as well. They divorced when i was just 2 years old and my father vanished from my life. My mom worked hard and there were lots of temporary men in her life, but we had a strong bond and still do to this day. But love has always eluded me. I have felt love for someone and been in love with others, but never with the right person and it ended in heartbreak every time. You possess a soul and a maturity that is decades ahead of your physical age and is likely based on your development, up to this point, being a solo act. I can relate on such a deep level. Everyone wants to give encouragement and be so positive that you'll find the one however, I want to relay my perspective. Focus on you and your happiness with you and the life that you build for yourself. People rely on relationships, perceptions of others and the support (emotional and financial) of a significant other. This is actually foolishness. You cannot predict what others are thinking or contemplating no matter how close you are to them. Focus instead on your self-happiness, your perspective of yourself and your destiny. Devote your time and energy to what makes you happy for you and ignore the rest of the world because at the end of it all what you become and what you experience in life only matters at your core, to you. To be clear, friendships are important and encouraged, but don't look at every guy you find a connection with as a potential life partner. That is where failure creeps in. Undo everything you've been taught about being perceived as happy and successful and look deeply in your heart and mind to the things that make you happy for you and you alone. The friends and family that are embedded in your core will remain and those that are superficial or looking to gain something from you, emotionally, physically or tangibly will drift away and that's ok. Again, this is MY perspective and may not work for you. I personally found that I am happier, more successful financially and emotionally being alone than when I chose to give all that to someone else, which left me bankrupt in every aspect. This is terribly long and I apologize for that, but matters of the heart and soul cannot be condensed into a few lines of greeting card encouragement. I simply wanted to provide you with another perspective. I feel connected to you by our similarities and it compelled me to comment. If you made it this far reading, I wish you all the self love, happiness, fulfillment of life and experiences that you can achieve. You have a beautiful soul and anyone who gets to share in that, deeper than surface level, is incredibly lucky.
I've read your whole message, I know it's long. But all makes sense. You're so very true. True freinds are very hard to find in the 21st century. So I'm alone and single in England, I have one best freind in all the 10 years, and even if I loose him, I wont be surprised, cause it's really hard to make true freinds in England, most of them are financially broke, people don't have money to buy bread, but will try to impress others by buying expensive gadgets and clothes on credit cards, and if they know that you've got money, they will try be as cunning as a fox, to try to befriend you for your money.
Watch yourself throughout this video. Watch your face as you talk. People who attract other people are satisfied within themselves. When towards the end you speak about your friend listing what your priorities are you had a smile and a glow in your eyes that there before. So keep working at making you the best person you can be so you will be ready, willing and able to accept and recognize love when it smacks you on the nalgas!!
I understand completely. I also feel that hook up culture has caused major problems! Like everything isn’t supposed to always be solely about sex. It’s caused ppl to dehumanize one another and view each other as human masturbation toys 🧸. Like ppl really don’t caring much about you outside of having sex with you. & relating to your book 📖 I feel that someone who truly respects, honors , loves & support you will understand the time & effort you’ll need to work on your book 📚. They’ll be supportive in your work. But that’s just it a lot of ppl don’t want to work things out or do things for their partner or relationship. It’s a self centered / narcissistic society we are living in & it sucks. Sending you positive energy!
It’s always easy for us to compare ourselves to other people, but ultimately if you love yourself and you’re happy, love will find its way in from the outside. Never settle for just anybody but also never be too picky because that could also lose your opportunity for something amazing. Focus more on the mind of somebody more than their looks. That’s the key. But the most important take away from my message is you have to be happy with yourself more than anything no matter if you’re alone.
You're not alone in this situation. I have never had a partner longer than one year, and I am now 59. I think I'm giving up and just realizing that it probably won't happen. The older I get, the less I want the wrong person. So, I'm not interested in rushing into something that I know is not going to work. Causal sex has gotten so old, but it's all I have at times. Still hoping for Mr. Right, but I'm not holding my breath.
I understand your feelings and what you are explaining very well, because I experienced it when I was younger. Romantic relationships are more difficult to establish these days, dating apps make people feel the worst and lead to toxic conversations, encouraging people to question themselves when it's not always necessary. The people in the comments advise you to simply take care of yourself, to gain confidence in yourself, and to accept yourself with your qualities and your faults (unless certain things that you consider to be faults really annoy you and you want to change them, but it will be difficult and it will take time), the important thing is to give yourself time, you are young. I had my first sexual relations at 31 and my first love affair around 33. Give life time to surprise you. I know that impulses sometimes force you to have casual sex to release the pressure, but when you find the right person, it will seem natural, pleasant and above all you will discuss it so that it happens in a way that suits both of you. I'm 45 now and I've started to manage my fear of ending up alone, and it makes me suffer less. If I meet someone and we have a great romance, great, if not, I'll deal with it. You are kind, intelligent, beautiful, with magnificent values, you will find the right person, that's for sure. The key is to go out as little as possible (I'm sure you already do it) to meet people in real life and not put pressure on yourself, it will happen at the right time !
Wow i was just feeling this this morning and your video came from no where i needed to here this and im 56 years old female who bi sexual. Just came out. So every thing is different and new for me. Im planning to write a book too. Have a amazing day today
I agree with the poster below who said, "Never look for love. Loe will find you for sure." Sometimes, it just takes time. Life, my friend, is more like fishing than hunting. You look great! Don't worry! Just my opinion, but I don't think you should try to be more flamboyant than you reall are. Be yourself. Maybe the right guy for you doesn't want someone who acts like a little girl, so why should you pretend?
It always depends on the persons you are going for. Sometimes the ones you are not going after, are the ones that are right for you. It also depends on your and the other persons expectance. I came around many people that were way too shallow. They put a lot of importance on superficial things and things that actually doesn't matter in the long run. Besides if you keep trying to be the way others want you to be, you will never be happy. You are supposed to be yourself the way you are and find someone that loves this version of you and no other. What is also important is to be ready for compromises cause what many people don't understand is that there are always 2 different persons that come together that have to learn from each other and find a way to be together. Communication is the biggest key for a successfull relationship. Many people also never learned to love and accept themselves because they never sit down and put a real thought into it. That's the first step to go through to be able to love others aswell and one of the steps everyone has to go through to leave their fears and insecurities behind. You can't force love no matter how hard you try and sometimes when you try too hard, it puts others off. If you learn to be happy alone, love yourself and don't force love, the others will be rather drawn to you without you even really noticing cause they will wanna be a part of this happiness you feel and the charisma they will see shine through. :) You are still young, enjoy your life and make the best out of it. Love always finds a way to come around and when the right person comes along you will get to be happy together and live a wonderful life. My hubby and I had our 10 years anniversary in January of this year and we are still together as if it was the very first day. Sending you lots of hugs and love from Germany! :)
I am in the same boat 🛶 brother I feel your pain , love is accepting me as I am and not trying to change you, being gay is not easy so I’m on the same journey, stay sane and trust God , Godbless 😊
Wow! First time seeing your channel and this video. You are a beautiful man, inside and out. I can't believe you are single. Keep your intellect and live a little. Your dream can be right around the corner; would you recognize it, if happened? Love is love is love. You'll find it, no doubt...
It’s better to be alone than to fall to the wrong person. Be the right person and strong! The weakest part of having a partner is to be afraid of being alone.
I'm in the same boat as you, have never had a relationship since school and I am in my 30s! My situation baffles me sometimes! I avoid online dating though so maybe that's part of the reason.
Every version of you is beautiful, but the situation is telling you to enjoy your own company, to not feel sorry for yourself but be grateful, Don’t compare yourself with others.
We are humans, and we all need to be hugged or loved. But not all people get love on this planet. It starts from ones family. Then comes self love. For me I had a rough childhood, abusive alcoholic father, the youngest of 5 siblings, born in a poor family, my Mother underwent depression, we used to not have money to buy onions and Tomatoes, but my father could afford alcohol. All I've learnt from life is, there wasn't love in my family. Now I don't expect it from anyone. I'm 40. I've got a mentally disabled brother who needs to be financially cared for. I will never try to fit in. Cause I was born to stand out. I was poor, people didn't want to be freinds with me, when I didn't have anything, now when I have something even the worst enemy wants to shake hands with me. But I had enough trying to be freinds with humans. Every time I gave them a chance people broke me shattered, life is too short to impress others, cause everyone is worried and think of themselves minding their own business, spinning their own wheels. I leave my house everyday, expecting nothing in return, cause if we try to look for love, we'll never find it. Most of the time people will love is for material wealth, they wont love us for who we are as a human. So I'm tired to let any human in to my life. If someone tries to make freinds with me, I'm very cautious, cause there's always a selfish motive behind their smiley faces.. i would rather trust a lion to a human, I'll know a lion will eat me, cause I'm his dinner, unlike humans who are back stabbers
We all go through those life thoughtfulness ; but, I can affirm: The Best Love of All, is the love you developed for yourself, No External Love can be as Rewarding. Then, you learn how to share it wisely, and the Life Colors will Shine On You!
In life you go through through stages sometimes it’s a bit lonely it teaches you to trust yourself not the voice in your head saying what’s wrong with me why dose no one like me because that in itself is a toxic thought don’t listen to it continue to be you….. yes continue to learn about yourself continue learning in general change for the better and don’t settle for less
Im 40, and i totally relate. Youre not alone. Life in England is the same. I just have one single best freind in all this 10 years, cause i put my disabled brother and my Mum first, everything comes next. I believe that even animals wont make friends with me, cause they know my life is miserable anyway. Who wants to make freinds with a person whos got siblings to support financially including a mentally disabled brother
You are leaps and bounds ahead of the average person. Most people we see in relationships settle, in my opinion. For these very reason that you mention. They aren't really happy, but are not strong enough to be or live alone. Trust me, you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. Stay true to yourself sweet man. That will be allow you to fall in love with life itself. It all lies in the journey and not the destination! ∞♥∞
Spend some time around couples that have been together for longer than a year and find some common themes. Maybe the exposure of your past is holding you back.. As a strayt guy, I have to say, you are ALREADY DOING the right things by practising SELF-CARE. YOU'RE CUTE AF!! Put yourself first. Keep healthy BOUNDARIES and PRIORITIES. . . the mirror doesn't judge, we judge ourselves. Have a sunny day*
Yes, i get it boo. It feels hopeless sometimes. I personally have never had a boyfriend or have slept with anyone, im 26. I believe in general its very hard to connect with other gay men, alot are experiencing some sort of trauma causing them to be emotional unavailable. Its also our own fault, often times casual sex leads to disaster , but we still do it, sometimes you might be scared to trust him, or maybe you just haven't found the guy that has the qualities you want. Basically theres always something holding you back, like an excuse. when we learn to be vulnerable, trusting, non judgemental , and just learn to let go, thats when i believe the stars will align 😊
You are beautiful just as you are! You truly are and it does suck being alone and so forth...it does get old. I have gone looking for love and been hurt every time. When it is time it will just happen. But know you are so not alone in your feelings. I just wish we all could find that special lifelong love we all crave. One thing i have learned is that sex is easy...love is hard.
Focus on a dream, goal or objective for yourself and people will be drawn to you. People are drawn to guys who know what they want from life & are on a clear path achieving it. I love designing & building homes & buildings... people are drawn to me because my focus is on my craft & ideas. (The wealth that came with it is a bonus) God Bless. ❤️🙏
You are indeed beautiful, inside and out. Be calm and content with being in the present. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never promised. You are exactly who you should be….a shining light showing others the beauty of who and what you are. ❤
Don't fall into the trap of feeling you're not worthy of being loved. That's how I felt when I was about your age and it led to me ruining my relationship with someone who loved me and then to two very toxic relationships that still haunt me 30 years later.
I see life and love through the the eyes of a romantic and not a realist. I truly believe that by being yourself, the right person will find their way to you. For some, it takes longer than others. I think each one of us is meant to be happy and we just have to let destiny do it's thing. Put it out of your conscious mind and one day it will happen. I love the old song "Some Enchanted Evening" because as corny as it is, that's basically how it happens. One day or night you will see him and know this is it. Best of luck and happiness to you.
1) NEVER compare yourself to others. (Most of what you see is not real.)
2) Get out of your own head.
Agreed! Comparison is the happiness thief.
Be the boyfriend you wish to have. Work on your health, nutrition and body. Nothing wrong with bettering yourself. Grow, change, evolve. Live your life and it’ll happen ❤️
I think that's one of the points he tried to make: why does he need to transform? What is wrong with who he is right now?
an old tired overrated cliche
XD. Stop reading shit.
Love him too
Interesting that the same things men require of women (be skinny, beautiful, young) is what now has them in a chokehold and seen as "shallow"
Karma is SWEET
Can totally relate to that. 44y/o here and never had someone who could love me.
This is so relatable! I always thought it was because i wasn't attractive enough, interesting enough, wealthy enough, but now I'm realizing that I am fine and need to keep working on my inner self. You are very cute btw.
You're a beautiful looking man .
@@jeffreyerickson6766 Thank you! That made my day☺️.
You are wrong about one thing....I fell in love with you just watching this video!! You are such a beautiful person inside and out. You are young and still have your life ahead of you....anyone as perceptive and introspective as you will be successful in life.....and that should include experiencing a deep love. Although, I totally get the part about life's priorities being in conflict with the desire for love, wanting to love someone and be loved, and experiencing true intimacy and emotional bonding with another human. I have struggled with this exact thing all of my adult life. Keep the faith....remember to focus on the things you have that make you happy rather than the things you don't have that make you unhappy. 🥰😘❤
Ikr.
Stay just the way you are. Don't change for ANYONE.
I never met anyone who showed the slightest interest in me that way, but I never expected them to; I'm physically unattractive and have some serious health issues. This bothered me greatly until I was in my mid-40's. I realized it would never happen so I got on with life and learned to enjoy it as it was.
You should never close your heart and yourself from being loved as also never make your health issues be the main part of your life.
I also have a chronical disease and intolerances through it but I still found love (I'm not the most attractive either) and I'm happy with my hubby for 10 years now.
Just put yourself out there and be open for it. :) Looks and Attractiveness are not the most important part in a relationship and what one finds ugly, finds someone else as very attractive and wonderfull.
Wish you all the best!
Definitely attractive !
No one has ever loved me when I loved them. I've had people love me but I never loved them. I'm now 68 years old and would still like to love and be loved back just once.
❤❤
I so hear you.
Same (@35)
Join the gang of mismatches. I’m 66
Dude people are crazy. You are absolutely gorgeous!!! Your personality is sweet and beautiful. The right man just isn’t there yet. It will happen when you’re not looking. Keep being you!!!!❤️
Let's face it. Gay men are even more visual than their straight counterparts. Looks, physique, and other attributes are VERY important to gay men. It could be possible this young man has had some interesting, and maybe even attractive guys show interest in him. (He's a good-looking guy. I find it hard to believe they wouldn't.)
But maybe he just wasn't into them. Because they weren't good-looking enough for him. Sometimes we create our own problems through our own heightened expectations. I'm not saying this has happened with this guy, but it isn't uncommon.
If one truly wants love, maybe it's okay to go for the nice, good-looking and attractive guy, rather than holding out for the stud muffin. Many men (especially good looking men like this guy) feel they are only worthy if the stud muffin wants them. And I have found that's a waste of time because the pretty boy type knows everyone wants him and he will be much more difficult to pin down. And then keep. Because the grass will always be greener elsewhere for him. And then leave guys like this wondering what's wrong with them.
I'm 57 and I have finally come to the point where I truly love myself. I spent my childhood being what my parents wanted me to be and a 22 year marriage trying to be what my ex-husband needed me to be. Loving yourself is the ultimate thing to conquer. Never 'change' yourself to attract someone else. Focus on you and when you are ready he will show up when and where you least expect it. Travel the world and have adventures. I see you and what I see is a sweet and lovable man!
I totally agree
My friend I am 74 and at last I have someone who loves me as I am .
Never look for love
Love will find you for sure .
Never give up on love .❤❤❤❤❤❤
Hoe ? In de supermarkt ?
ill hold dearly this msg. to my heart... im 31 and never been in a relationship and still a virgin closeted bisexual :(
@@user-tf5ey9sh3c - Where on earth do you live ?
You are beautiful and perfect the way you are! ❤ Don’t put a timeline on true love.
Media, Society, even my parents believed that you need someone to complete you but I refuse to accept this unacceptable premise because I complete myself as well as my God …….
It's ok to wait patiently for true love to come rather than ending up with a wrong person because you're rushing to be in a relationship. True love comes at the moment you least expect it.
Sage advice from your friend! 🙌🏼💯 There are no deadlines for life’s milestones; screw what society has told you to do. Be you, do you, and live your best authentic story because there is only one of you and you only get one life to do it. Everything’s going to be okay and you’re going to be and do amazing things! (:
She's wise! And thank you for the message :)
Joy is so attractive. Find folks who do the things you love to do. Passion for making your life wonderful to you is one helluva great trip. Plus you learn to love other things. OMG to be were you are again. The options are so boundless. Here you stress over what you don't have not what you do have. Ask yourself: what aside from the physical attracts you to another person? They doubtless have a passion. That is where some of the best relationships come from. I was with my first partner for 32 years and is still my best friend (and I love his husband). My 2nd husband and I have been together for 8 years now. My husband is just so wonderful to be in the same house with. I am so jealous of your potential to find someone that brings you the joy you will give them. Enjoy the adventure!!!!
really need this now. Can't thank you enough for this video! ♥
You articulate your thoughts very well. I know many of us think these things, but it’s nice to hear others share how they’re feeling. It’s like a form of therapy in some ways. Thanks for posting! Be well!
✌🏻👍🏻✌🏻
Thank you for commenting! Have a great day!
The transparency and honesty you shared on this video made me instantly like and subscribe keep going
I feel u because it’s the exact same thing as me thank u fir completely exsplaining me 💯 % am glad am not the only one going through it ❤love from Canada
Man you’re so deep. I have not heard someone talk so eloquently as you are. I wish i can speak my mind the way you do.
Thanks for the words!!!
Your accent is super adorable...You have good points to reflect on but don't get stuck in that perception in the shallows ...you're still figuring life out xo
this video resonates with me being a 23 year old feeling like i got robbed of relationship ideals that don’t exist. it makes me feel defeated that no one has ever looked at me with genuine intention of being with me, but i guess it’s due time. i will try hard to fall in love with myself until im comfortable not always yearning for love.
I really relate to this. Hoping you find what you are looking for in your most authentic self
Your friend gave you excellent advice, just be yourself, it is more than enough for anyone to be attracted to!
I can relate to you. Wish could meet you in person and really talk about all these things with you rather than just watching you. But i feel great to get a chance to share your life in this video even just for awhile
I appreciate your vulnerability. It's not easy to be this vulnerable. Thank you.
Vulnerability makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable so we learn to hide & suppress those feelings.
Expressing his feelings so openly makes him brave, even exceptional as so many of us gay men deal with so much insecurities it’s really hard to trust and reveal ourselves, we sometimes feel we are the only ones that can love us.
Hey there, Santiago! :) I don't know why this video showed up but amen to "complete alignment". It's funny because you reflect back to me my own struggles in romantic love and the wisdom that comes with it. Over the years, I must say that I have grown exponentially as a person because of all the challenges that I've been through making me appreciate more the ones that I am currently facing. I am just glad that I am at a point right now where I can see my outdated patterns and not judge, but instead appreciate 'em for what they are -a fertile ground of shits transformed/transmuted to become fertilizers where I can anchor my roots supporting my growth. I don't pretend to know all your struggles in life but when I look at and listen to you, I see and hear someone who revolutionizes the idea of what true love is and of how much love we are capable of channeling that goes beyond the confine of romantic label. I wish you success in everything that you do -whatever that means to you. :)
Great to know you are surrounded with amazing girl friends, too! Cheers to more opportunities like this where we can consciously recognize our alignment to the greatness of life. Cheers to love! And if the romantic one comes, I know you/we are ready for it. Namaste! :)
I absolutely love your raw authenticity and emotional vulnerability. I relate to this video on so many levels. I'm 22 and I'm also craving romantic love in my life, I've never been in love before and at times I feel desperate for romantic love. being queer often feels like I have to work harder for love for various reasons (the gay dating life is not easy). but then I look at my life and realise my current life goals aren't aligned for a serious relationship. It's not the right time and that's OK. You reminded me to focus on building a foundation for my life that centres around being happy regardless of whether I have a partner or not. I wish you love and happiness in your life, your an amazing guy. ❤
You are lucky that a young age you have so much wisdom.
i tried to hide who i was. The one and only relationship i had took advantage of me because i allowed it to happen. I didn't love myself enough. I grew up with a very toxic narcissistic parent. All my siblings have very poor self esteem issues and most have also become narcissistic as well. They cannot care for anyone else but themselves so i don't even have family. But at least i know who they are as in the past they manipulated me.
You have to live for yourself and when they say life is short, it really is!!
This was really vulnerable and beautiful ♥️
I went through years of one sided love affairs, either I was in love or they were...now, I just enjoy my solitude, my dogs, creating my art projects, clothing projects and furniture projects as well as my jewelry designs...I sleep when I want and wake up when I want, eat what and when I want I just have to be there for my dogs!!!!
The most important thing is to happy, some people never find that one person, and that is okay, others go through a dozen serious relationships, and others have one love and never look further...so whatever your case it, doesn't matter, remember to make your happiness your top priority, because you want to give that one man the best version of yourself possible!!!
Don’t give up! Keep looking for your soulmate. I’m 65 and I have had good relationships for some periods, but now nothing is happening. I keep on looking. You are beautiful, I am sure some guy will snatch you up. Dave
I gree with you !!! The problem the most people are narcissist mood to connecting with another's. You have a sould get empathy and love to get connectedwith the right person,the universe brings the person to you ..be patient 🙏❤️😊
I love your honesty...
Your still young and love comes when you stop looking.
The transformation has to be internal. Appreciate the person that you have become . Examine your values. Focus on your life priorities and everything follows. Don’t try so hard. Take it easy one day at a time.
😭😭😭😭😭
You are an amazing person.
If I only could have someone like you Santiago. It ok to be yourself. I love your smile, content and creativity. You have one of the best personalities Ive seen in awhile. ❤
You are so beautiful. Love that Arc de Soleil song that you included.
There is no easy answer to this, at least as far as I have experienced. I find you adorable and hope you do find that right relationship for you.
I completely understand this. I’m 42 and have wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself for… a very long time. Love comes in many forms. Casual love may not be a priority for people. But, I’d like to posit that healthy love, be it self, companion, partnership, is a priority for everyone in what ever form it takes. My life is terribly busy for several reasons. And I realize that sadly yet again, I don’t have the time to find love. But, I have several friends that I have wonderful relationships with. And right now, that’s beautiful, and enough. Someday, like you, I’d be thrilled to have a partner to travel, settle, and cry with. I hope you find yours soon.
where are you from? are you she or he?
I understand everything you just said it's very difficult to find someone to be your self around, and u end thinking u the problem for me even making friends is an issue 😢.
Boom! You've broken through! I hope you find some affirmation and sense of connection via this project. Smart, charming content!
i feel for you on everything you said. I myself have never been in a relationship ever and im 45. But u will fnd someone you seem so genuine and handsome.
I fell in love already the moment i saw the thumbnail :D
Your vulnerability & openness is something very special 🫶🏾 The universe is always with you ✨ you may feel lonely but you are never alone ♥️ Sometimes what we want and what we desire haven’t aligned and the universe wants you to be sure that what you’re asking for , you are ready to receive 😊
There’s nothing to work on except loving yourself as you are right now. It’s all ok. You are perfect just the way you are. ❤ You are love and love will find you babe.
Life ain’t over yet, you have up until your last breath to feel loved. You may be surprised when someone says “I love you” ❤
I am ofcourse an older guy(57) and I have had my ups and downs. If you are wanting love and feel you are not enough in soo many ways it really mens that you are ready. The only thing you need is patience and fate will do its job,. Just be you, don't change who you are it will make the process hard if you are fake. YOu are a very good looking guy and I see the great potential you have and the love you will give when you find that one. He is out there and you will meet - oh and keep your senses about you to catch tht "ah-ha" moment you know he is the one. No one said that relationshiops are easy either, especially in our world. Your desire to find that boyfriend or lover i going to elude you if you keep chasing it. Be patient.
He looks good, he seems really sweet, Smart, I don't think anyone really gave him a chance or take time to get to really know him❤😢
It's just that we are in a wrong place and it's hard to open up to someone and expect them to reply everything back as much as u would. Maybe I'm just afraid to take risk too most of the time. You are loveable and beautiful, everyone is. Hope we find the deserve love we genuinely need. ❤
You're perfect the way you are man. You do have to be perfect, you need to be perfect for someone that's perfect for you.
Stop forcing things. If you know what you want, then all you can do is identify it when you see it and go for it. If you never see it, I get that can be depressing, but there's nothing to do but be patient. I was single for 12 years until 1 year ago when I met exactly the person I had been hoping to meet for most of that time. I met him by living my values and running into someone who had those same values. If you work on yourself, solidify your values, and start living them out, it is inevitable that you will meet someone with similar or the same values who is into you. Good luck, brother.
We're living very similar lives, so believe me you're not alone.
It's easy to feel sad when you compare your lives to others. So I try not to do that anymore. Plus there are so many wierd guys out there sometimes being single is not so bad.
I believe we'll find love someday. In the meantime do things that make you happy. I think traveling the world is a great goal.
You're right! Comparing yourself to others ruins everything. I hope you do things that make you really happy too. Thanks for commenting!
I too have done the transformations to make myself more appealing. I've done the comfortable with being alone thing. I've taken myself on trips and outings. Having no one around to share thoughts and experiences with makes it all feel hollow though. In the end what can you do but accept that nobody wants you as their person and be at peace with that reality. It still hurts though. The thought persists: what is so wrong with me?
@@TiagoHT13 People say that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, but they will tell you "if so and so can do it, then why can't you"? Sounds hypocritical.
You're loved dear
I felt same but i have to chill up and accept myself ❤
I felt this on every level, so what I decided to be my own love of my life(as cheesy as that sound) my own boyfriend/best friend etc, love yourselves people...work on being the best version of you, whoever reads this...I hope you have an immaculate day.
You’re amazing friend a beautiful beacon of light❤❤ keep being the beautiful person you are never change for anyone no matter what you are, your so amazing.
Love ur content bro keep it up ❤❤
this is so far the best video I've seen, it applies to men and women of all times..
I'm glad you liked it!
Hey Tiago
I absolutely love this segment.
1st - it is very much relatable and I kid you not when I say RELATABLE. I have the same questions that you are asking yourself about the yearn to be in a committed relationship and to stay with a someone who you call your boyfriend/partner etc. I have lived most of my life craving for that life and it is exhausting. Especially when you feel like when you've given it your all, you've given your best to hopefully get someone's eyes on you but you keep falling back on "casual sex" which is not completely fulfilling at all. It's not only the sex life that I was craving for but most importantly someone who I can confide in, someone I can be foolish with and be fine & fun with, a genuine companion in life. I madly wanted someone to grow old with and frustrates me that I haven't got that lol.
2nd - Spending time for myself, I like to call it 'Self-Love' I try to focus less on pushing so hard on love life and try to spend more time on improving myself, most especially self-love. I thought that if I do not love myself un conditionally then how can give another individual that same unconditional love that the person deserves, how can I give something I do not have. So I mellowed down on that spend more time on self-esteem, self-love, self-respect, etc. It came to a stage where I almost felt like I didn't care no more bout it.
3rd - you mentioned in the video "the right person will come to the right version of you" YES!! but the question I always ask myself is WHEN hahaha lol. This is when you have active faith in that quality time you spend loving yourself, developing more understanding matters about your onw-self. Faith nis a very important factor in our human lives. By the way shout out to your #Girlfriends' they have such good message.
Anyways, I wish you all the best and to all of us who are still out there single and all. Let's continue doing US and to hopefully have Mr. Right come around and rock our world hahahah lol. But like on a genuine note, I wish you well🖤🤩
Cheers!💘
In my personal opinion, if you want to be loved, start from loving yourself. Doing things you really like, go to somewhere you like, and be with people that cherish to be with you. When you start to do that, somehow you'll looks glowing and people will start to looking for you, and they'll fight to be with you. Good luck on your life journey. 😊 Peace ✌🏻
In my experience, when you’re not looking, someone will come into your life and then things will happen.
Santiago, your friend gave you very astute advice. It seems to me that it isn’t love that you are missing but that having a committed relationship is. You are young. Keep doing you. Now is the time for self discovery, personal and professional growth. Relationships take work! A lot of work. Focus on your professional goals right now. Along the way, you just may find someone who aligns with you and the direction you are headed in. This is something that must occur naturally. You can’t force or fake it. You are a beautiful young man, intelligent and quite likable. Keep working on growing into the best you possible. Take it from an older man who didn’t find his person until he was thirty. We had a passionate relationship that was constantly changing in nature. I buried him almost three years ago. If love finds me again, and I hope it does, I will welcome it with open arms. Everything in life is food for the future. Nurture and care for your life. It’s really all you’ve got.
Dude youre perfect! Just Beautiful ! Its in Gods timing not ours! Change your thoughts about nobody wants you , Think positive and love yourself first.
I think you are handsome, funny, insightful, and vulnerable. Im older than you but i get it. Its not easy. Id love to find love. Needs to be a best friend first. I live each day to the fullest. I travel alone but its on my mind often thinking how cool it would be to travel with my soul mate. Hang in there. Be yourself and do everything that makes you happy. If you have your health you are already blessed. Your time will come!!! Just dont change to accomodate something or someone else. You seem just right the way you are.
English may be a second language for you, but you speak with an eloquence that lacks in a majority of people I have been exposed to. This video popped up as a suggestion and my initial reaction was to swipe left, but something intervened and I found myself being introduced to a young man who I could relate to on so many levels. I wasn't planned and my parents were young as well. They divorced when i was just 2 years old and my father vanished from my life. My mom worked hard and there were lots of temporary men in her life, but we had a strong bond and still do to this day. But love has always eluded me. I have felt love for someone and been in love with others, but never with the right person and it ended in heartbreak every time. You possess a soul and a maturity that is decades ahead of your physical age and is likely based on your development, up to this point, being a solo act. I can relate on such a deep level. Everyone wants to give encouragement and be so positive that you'll find the one however, I want to relay my perspective. Focus on you and your happiness with you and the life that you build for yourself. People rely on relationships, perceptions of others and the support (emotional and financial) of a significant other. This is actually foolishness. You cannot predict what others are thinking or contemplating no matter how close you are to them. Focus instead on your self-happiness, your perspective of yourself and your destiny. Devote your time and energy to what makes you happy for you and ignore the rest of the world because at the end of it all what you become and what you experience in life only matters at your core, to you. To be clear, friendships are important and encouraged, but don't look at every guy you find a connection with as a potential life partner. That is where failure creeps in. Undo everything you've been taught about being perceived as happy and successful and look deeply in your heart and mind to the things that make you happy for you and you alone. The friends and family that are embedded in your core will remain and those that are superficial or looking to gain something from you, emotionally, physically or tangibly will drift away and that's ok. Again, this is MY perspective and may not work for you. I personally found that I am happier, more successful financially and emotionally being alone than when I chose to give all that to someone else, which left me bankrupt in every aspect. This is terribly long and I apologize for that, but matters of the heart and soul cannot be condensed into a few lines of greeting card encouragement. I simply wanted to provide you with another perspective. I feel connected to you by our similarities and it compelled me to comment. If you made it this far reading, I wish you all the self love, happiness, fulfillment of life and experiences that you can achieve. You have a beautiful soul and anyone who gets to share in that, deeper than surface level, is incredibly lucky.
I've read your whole message, I know it's long. But all makes sense. You're so very true. True freinds are very hard to find in the 21st century. So I'm alone and single in England, I have one best freind in all the 10 years, and even if I loose him, I wont be surprised, cause it's really hard to make true freinds in England, most of them are financially broke, people don't have money to buy bread, but will try to impress others by buying expensive gadgets and clothes on credit cards, and if they know that you've got money, they will try be as cunning as a fox, to try to befriend you for your money.
Watch yourself throughout this video. Watch your face as you talk. People who attract other people are satisfied within themselves. When towards the end you speak about your friend listing what your priorities are you had a smile and a glow in your eyes that there before. So keep working at making you the best person you can be so you will be ready, willing and able to accept and recognize love when it smacks you on the nalgas!!
I understand completely. I also feel that hook up culture has caused major problems! Like everything isn’t supposed to always be solely about sex. It’s caused ppl to dehumanize one another and view each other as human masturbation toys 🧸. Like ppl really don’t caring much about you outside of having sex with you.
& relating to your book 📖 I feel that someone who truly respects, honors , loves & support you will understand the time & effort you’ll need to work on your book 📚. They’ll be supportive in your work. But that’s just it a lot of ppl don’t want to work things out or do things for their partner or relationship. It’s a self centered / narcissistic society we are living in & it sucks.
Sending you positive energy!
It’s always easy for us to compare ourselves to other people, but ultimately if you love yourself and you’re happy, love will find its way in from the outside. Never settle for just anybody but also never be too picky because that could also lose your opportunity for something amazing. Focus more on the mind of somebody more than their looks. That’s the key. But the most important take away from my message is you have to be happy with yourself more than anything no matter if you’re alone.
You're not alone in this situation. I have never had a partner longer than one year, and I am now 59. I think I'm giving up and just realizing that it probably won't happen. The older I get, the less I want the wrong person. So, I'm not interested in rushing into something that I know is not going to work. Causal sex has gotten so old, but it's all I have at times. Still hoping for Mr. Right, but I'm not holding my breath.
Hi dear 👋🏿 ... I watched your video and I understand completely ...
I totally relate to this, since I was struggling in the same way. This video made me feel calmer about my situation as well.
I am glad it helped you :).
I understand your feelings and what you are explaining very well, because I experienced it when I was younger. Romantic relationships are more difficult to establish these days, dating apps make people feel the worst and lead to toxic conversations, encouraging people to question themselves when it's not always necessary. The people in the comments advise you to simply take care of yourself, to gain confidence in yourself, and to accept yourself with your qualities and your faults (unless certain things that you consider to be faults really annoy you and you want to change them, but it will be difficult and it will take time), the important thing is to give yourself time, you are young. I had my first sexual relations at 31 and my first love affair around 33. Give life time to surprise you. I know that impulses sometimes force you to have casual sex to release the pressure, but when you find the right person, it will seem natural, pleasant and above all you will discuss it so that it happens in a way that suits both of you. I'm 45 now and I've started to manage my fear of ending up alone, and it makes me suffer less. If I meet someone and we have a great romance, great, if not, I'll deal with it.
You are kind, intelligent, beautiful, with magnificent values, you will find the right person, that's for sure. The key is to go out as little as possible (I'm sure you already do it) to meet people in real life and not put pressure on yourself, it will happen at the right time !
Your friend is right, focus on your projects (your book), travel and discover new countries / cultures / people !
Wow i was just feeling this this morning and your video came from no where i needed to here this and im 56 years old female who bi sexual. Just came out. So every thing is different and new for me. Im planning to write a book too. Have a amazing day today
I agree with the poster below who said, "Never look for love. Loe will find you for sure." Sometimes, it just takes time. Life, my friend, is more like fishing than hunting. You look great! Don't worry! Just my opinion, but I don't think you should try to be more flamboyant than you reall are. Be yourself. Maybe the right guy for you doesn't want someone who acts like a little girl, so why should you pretend?
Life is about balance -- you can have love, write a book, travel, etc.. It's not about either or, it's about abundance and intention!!
It always depends on the persons you are going for. Sometimes the ones you are not going after, are the ones that are right for you.
It also depends on your and the other persons expectance. I came around many people that were way too shallow.
They put a lot of importance on superficial things and things that actually doesn't matter in the long run.
Besides if you keep trying to be the way others want you to be, you will never be happy.
You are supposed to be yourself the way you are and find someone that loves this version of you and no other.
What is also important is to be ready for compromises cause what many people don't understand is that there are always 2 different persons that come together that have to learn from each other and find a way to be together.
Communication is the biggest key for a successfull relationship.
Many people also never learned to love and accept themselves because they never sit down and put a real thought into it.
That's the first step to go through to be able to love others aswell and one of the steps everyone has to go through to leave their fears and insecurities behind.
You can't force love no matter how hard you try and sometimes when you try too hard, it puts others off.
If you learn to be happy alone, love yourself and don't force love, the others will be rather drawn to you without you even really noticing cause they will wanna be a part of this happiness you feel and the charisma they will see shine through. :)
You are still young, enjoy your life and make the best out of it. Love always finds a way to come around and when the right person comes along you will get to be happy together and live a wonderful life.
My hubby and I had our 10 years anniversary in January of this year and we are still together as if it was the very first day.
Sending you lots of hugs and love from Germany! :)
I can relate to so many aspects of this, especially the part where casual intimacy makes me feel emptier.
I promise, you will find your love of your life. For sure! Keep on going ❤
I am in the same boat 🛶 brother I feel your pain , love is accepting me as I am and not trying to change you, being gay is not easy so I’m on the same journey, stay sane and trust God , Godbless 😊
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Wow! First time seeing your channel and this video. You are a beautiful man, inside and out. I can't believe you are single. Keep your intellect and live a little. Your dream can be right around the corner; would you recognize it, if happened? Love is love is love. You'll find it, no doubt...
It’s better to be alone than to fall to the wrong person. Be the right person and strong! The weakest part of having a partner is to be afraid of being alone.
I'm in the same boat as you, have never had a relationship since school and I am in my 30s! My situation baffles me sometimes! I avoid online dating though so maybe that's part of the reason.
Every version of you is beautiful, but the situation is telling you to enjoy your own company, to not feel sorry for yourself but be grateful, Don’t compare yourself with others.
We are humans, and we all need to be hugged or loved. But not all people get love on this planet. It starts from ones family. Then comes self love. For me I had a rough childhood, abusive alcoholic father, the youngest of 5 siblings, born in a poor family, my Mother underwent depression, we used to not have money to buy onions and Tomatoes, but my father could afford alcohol. All I've learnt from life is, there wasn't love in my family. Now I don't expect it from anyone. I'm 40. I've got a mentally disabled brother who needs to be financially cared for. I will never try to fit in. Cause I was born to stand out. I was poor, people didn't want to be freinds with me, when I didn't have anything, now when I have something even the worst enemy wants to shake hands with me. But I had enough trying to be freinds with humans. Every time I gave them a chance people broke me shattered, life is too short to impress others, cause everyone is worried and think of themselves minding their own business, spinning their own wheels. I leave my house everyday, expecting nothing in return, cause if we try to look for love, we'll never find it. Most of the time people will love is for material wealth, they wont love us for who we are as a human. So I'm tired to let any human in to my life. If someone tries to make freinds with me, I'm very cautious, cause there's always a selfish motive behind their smiley faces.. i would rather trust a lion to a human, I'll know a lion will eat me, cause I'm his dinner, unlike humans who are back stabbers
We all go through those life thoughtfulness ; but, I can affirm: The Best Love of All, is the love you developed for yourself, No External Love can be as Rewarding. Then, you learn how to share it wisely, and the Life Colors will Shine On You!
The right one will come no matter how we look. and hey you're a beautiful person as i can see it.
In life you go through through stages sometimes it’s a bit lonely it teaches you to trust yourself not the voice in your head saying what’s wrong with me why dose no one like me because that in itself is a toxic thought don’t listen to it continue to be you….. yes continue to learn about yourself continue learning in general change for the better and don’t settle for less
Im 40, and i totally relate. Youre not alone. Life in England is the same. I just have one single best freind in all this 10 years, cause i put my disabled brother and my Mum first, everything comes next. I believe that even animals wont make friends with me, cause they know my life is miserable anyway. Who wants to make freinds with a person whos got siblings to support financially including a mentally disabled brother
Thanks for sharing that with me... and I hope you can put yourself first at some point and that the situation improves. Send you a lot of love!
You are leaps and bounds ahead of the average person. Most people we see in relationships settle, in my opinion. For these very reason that you mention. They aren't really happy, but are not strong enough to be or live alone. Trust me, you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. Stay true to yourself sweet man. That will be allow you to fall in love with life itself. It all lies in the journey and not the destination! ∞♥∞
Thank you so much for that message
Spend some time around couples that have been together for longer than a year and find some common themes. Maybe the exposure of your past is holding you back.. As a strayt guy, I have to say, you are ALREADY DOING the right things by practising SELF-CARE. YOU'RE CUTE AF!! Put yourself first. Keep healthy BOUNDARIES and PRIORITIES. . . the mirror doesn't judge, we judge ourselves. Have a sunny day*
Yes, i get it boo. It feels hopeless sometimes. I personally have never had a boyfriend or have slept with anyone, im 26. I believe in general its very hard to connect with other gay men, alot are experiencing some sort of trauma causing them to be emotional unavailable. Its also our own fault, often times casual sex leads to disaster , but we still do it, sometimes you might be scared to trust him, or maybe you just haven't found the guy that has the qualities you want. Basically theres always something holding you back, like an excuse. when we learn to be vulnerable, trusting, non judgemental , and just learn to let go, thats when i believe the stars will align 😊
You are beautiful just as you are! You truly are and it does suck being alone and so forth...it does get old. I have gone looking for love and been hurt every time. When it is time it will just happen. But know you are so not alone in your feelings. I just wish we all could find that special lifelong love we all crave. One thing i have learned is that sex is easy...love is hard.
Focus on a dream, goal or objective for yourself and people will be drawn to you. People are drawn to guys who know what they want from life & are on a clear path achieving it. I love designing & building homes & buildings... people are drawn to me because my focus is on my craft & ideas. (The wealth that came with it is a bonus) God Bless. ❤️🙏
You are indeed beautiful, inside and out. Be calm and content with being in the present. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never promised. You are exactly who you should be….a shining light showing others the beauty of who and what you are. ❤
Don't fall into the trap of feeling you're not worthy of being loved. That's how I felt when I was about your age and it led to me ruining my relationship with someone who loved me and then to two very toxic relationships that still haunt me 30 years later.
You made a beautiful and open video. I recognise your feelings. 62 and still looking too. I am convinced you will find your partner!
Living life as a Writer is so lonely, even for the most famous writers. But not all the writers. I want to read something you've published.
I see life and love through the the eyes of a romantic and not a realist. I truly believe that by being yourself, the right person will find their way to you. For some, it takes longer than others. I think each one of us is meant to be happy and we just have to let destiny do it's thing. Put it out of your conscious mind and one day it will happen. I love the old song "Some Enchanted Evening" because as corny as it is, that's basically how it happens. One day or night you will see him and know this is it. Best of luck and happiness to you.