As a single pastor on staff in a mostly elderly church, this conversation was very relevant to me. I wouldn't be comfortable with any of them setting me up (the idea of dealing with the fallout of ending a relationship with a parishioner's son or grandson makes me want to run for the hills), but it would be kind of nice if the alone-ness of the single people in our congregation was acknowledged once in awhile. It would also be nice if as a church we could acknowledge the extended adolescence of men and worked on discipling them rather than reinforcing that. I just had a conversation this morning about 45 year old frat boys and how they've flooded the dating pool, which is a large part of why I'm not even making an effort at this point. It's exhausting.
The 45 year old frat boys is why I have not gotten married and out of my friends only 2 have gotten married because it's hard to find a mature Christian man.
And the finger wagging is not limited to singleness! Try being a married couple in the church that doesn’t have children for a few years. We have kids now, but we waited 14 years. Why? Mostly because of money. We could not afford to have kids. But then we “didn’t have enough faith.” But if you have kids you can’t afford and then you need to go on welfare, it’s “you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t afford them.” Basically you’re looked down on unless things work out in a certain way.
I am a single black man who just turned 35 this month. I can't speak for anyone else except for my own experience. If you are someone like me who had been raised around broken marriages and scarred hearts, it can discourage you. One of the memories I have is my Dad bringing home a green vase full of red roses. He fed them some form of plant food and wanted to surprise my Mom when she got home. She gets home, they argue and next thing I know my Dad is grumbling underneath his breathe as he throws the roses he just bought in the trash. Memories like that can stick to an 11 year old boy, especially when they separated a year later. Marriage wasn't associated with happiness then, it was burdensome, abusive, painful. My parents prayed everyday, went to church, read the word, but their marriage was horrible. My Mom has been happily single for years now and my Dad remarried. I seek God's wisdom in matters of love and let be what will be. Until then I will continue to work on myself and try to be as good a man I can. Still, I would rather live peacefully with God's love than have my heart shattered by a potential partner. If God feels I'm not ready to be a boyfriend let alone a husband I have to face that fact too. One thing I want to make sure of is that I don't hurt my future wife or children if I'm blessed with them. I want to be better than the examples I witnessed. So I'll wait even if it never happens.
Similar background in terms of parents. They never got along. It was always turmoil, especially since my father had a drinking problem. I got married in my early 30's . I would always theorize in my head how my marriage would be different and how I wouldn't be my father. Until you are in the situation you will never know who you are and how you respond in difficult situations. I 100% responded to criticism the same way my dad did (minus the drinking and infidelity) I hurt my wife because as a dude, now in his 40's, I wasn't taught how to do anything other than react and suppress things. You will mess up. People will get hurt. But it's a matter of how you learn from it and grow. I'm still learning and mess up all the time .
I grew up Catholic and saw a great deal of value in confessing to a person. It's not supposed to be easy, and talking to a person about the things you don't want to post on facebook helps you to mature and be a better person. Confessing to a machine is easier, but not as valuable.
I am not so sure about arranged marriages in churches. I attended a fundamentalist church organization where the pastors would put couples together. Many of those couples I knew are no longer together. I think that their premise was if they were saved then they could get along. The church should first be a healthy church, not authoritarian and controlling. The people should have a real love and concern for the well being and flourishing of one another. Then perhaps the church would be a good place for matchmaking.
I love Kaitlyn’s outlook but I think the church is troubled by more tribalism than building true community. I think it’s one of the main reasons why the American church is not diverse.
Before I met my wife, I was part of a church community where, instead of my loneliness and desire for marriage and children being validated, I was told God had called me to singleness and that I was an idolater.😑
One thing that always frustrates me about the conversation on dating & the church is that... there are FAR more faithful, involved single women in the church than there are single men. Especially past the age of 25. I know so many phenomenal women are serving in their churches knowing they'll never meet anyone that way - but they do it because they love Jesus and they love the church. And while Skye and Phil are not doing the thing of berating these people for being selfish, they are a bit naive to assume that just more church involvement would fix anything. It doesn't. Which, is not the church's fault. I don't think anyone's looking for them to be a dating service - but when you're turning 30, 40, 50 and people are still saying, "Meet someone through the church!" it's frustrating. That's not happening for most women who are really involved in their churches. I don't know any woman who has met her husband in church past the age of 25. I'm sure they exist. But every woman I know who got married past the age of 25, met that man online. And they are guys who go to church, for the most part, but they were never going to meet them being involved in their own churches.
Another factor in modern dating that I think should be considered is that many Gen Xers, Millenials and Gen Zers are children of divorce. I'm willing to bet that they're concerned that they'll repeat the mistakes of their parents and that it will affect their kids the same way it affected them.
Single man here, I’ve definitely noticed the lack of community my father has as an adult and have tried very hard to invest in the guys in my church around my age (both single and married) and have found how many of them still miss community despite being apart of a church that has try in the last few months to make singles feel more welcomed. I’m not sure what it is but men want community but just can’t seem to find it unless someone else goes out of there way to help them. As much as I don’t want to be single right now, I am recognizing how impactful I can be as a single man in my church to the point where I am having an internal debate over if I should just stay single my entire life or not. I have the desire for a family and marriage but I see how much I can do to help people while being single, it’s tough but ultimately I’m having to trust in the Lord through all of this!
Only advice I’d have is to have non-contentious hobbies you can talk about. Those hobbies may not lead to dates, but they do lead to more interesting conversations. I learned to cook (health issues and had to cut salt), started hiking, and got season tickets to the opera. I enjoy gaming and New Testament theology but neither of those make for good “I am not a weirdo” first real life conversations. (Edit - except at church, where talking New Testament is generally OK just don’t get too feisty about it.)
@ oh trust me, I have no issues with connecting with people. My tension is in desiring a family while also realizing how much I can do for my church community while single
@@FrankJosephHallkids basically remove your ability to do anything else for a couple of years. Once they can walk and talk and understand simple instructions it gets easier.
@@FrankJosephHalllol, TH-cam doesn’t like it when I say that having kids takes all of your time. Just for a few years, but… yeah, not good for involvement.
As long as you don't end up in a situationship with someone in church that's great. I can't tell you how many of my friends found themselves in a DTR ( define the relationship) with a guy in church who they thought they were building a relationship with...only to find out he was trying to " work on his relationship with God". Maybe it was a cop out...but it happened a lot
1. I feel so grateful to H.P that these conversations are starting to pivot away from repetitive political reactions. 2. In my first twenty-five years of life, I am pretty sure I *never* experienced or encountered in Christian establishments a wise, loving, non-patronizing, non-stigmatizing approach to single people. The top strategies, "you'll find someone some day" and "your singleness is such a noble service to the body of Christ" are both trite and dismissive, however well-intended. Our very tendency to categorize people according to their marital status is something I find gross and alienating. 3. It was also very rare for me while growing up to encounter in Christian establishments a theology of *manhood* that was not rooted in mid-20th-century American hyper-masculinity and/or shame and obligation. Not that popular culture is any better. I wish people in every realm would start looking way, way deeper than "man-boys gonna man-boy" when diagnosing the despair, underperformance, and disconnectedness of men. One place to start might be the violent cognitive dissonance created in some men by the message "you are responsible for everything; you can't be trusted with anything." 4. I long for robust conversations about the experiences of men, of women, and of women and men together. Sadly, I feel that such dialogues are often severely constrained by ideological compulsions and taboos. I feel that a big factor in allowing such conversations to flourish is setting aside some of our predispositions and fears (be those religious or societal) about what we should or should not say; what conclusions we should or should not come to. The team got away from it as they warmed up (and the conversation got more interesting), but when they first started talking about what's going on between women and men I heard, as I so often do when sex and gender are on the table, one commonplace after another about what men are or what women are or why they feel and behave the way they do. When those sorts of ideas come out of our mouths, I feel like we are not even present in the conversation any more, nor sharing our own genuine experiences and feelings. When we're editing lived experience to match it to an ideological answer sheet, it feels more like we are just filling out low-effort personality quizzes. Here's to living and talking and relating like non-A.I. Jesus.
As women become more educated, we want to be treated with equal respect and equal partnership. If both are working, they both need to be involved with the home and the children.
It's not surprising that when society as a whole moves dating to a system that involves endlessly scrolling through shallow representations of total strangers, matching with a small fraction of them, then getting a response from an even smaller portion, for it to usually not go anywhere, that people would just give up.
It takes effort. The experience for women is also really, really poor with lots of abuse, harassment, and similar nonsense. For guys it turns into a numbers game - send out ten messages, get maybe one reply, maybe one in five replies leads to a date, maybe one in three dates leads to a second, etc… Arranged marriage doesn’t seem so bad after a while.
Zechariah was struck mute because Abraham said the exact same thing to God about his old wife and God gave Sarah children. Zechariah was extra dumb for doubting God could do something twice. So God hit the mute button. We're allowed to question God. We're not allowed to doubt God can do something *again*
I met my wife online! ☺️ We have been married for over 2 years! We connect really well and have a happy marriage! I encourage people to be on a dating app. Obviously I know it doesn't always work out well but it does work sometimes!!😊
For my experience as a single 30 something heterosexual woman, my overall goal is to have children and I don't need a male spouse to do that. Would it be nice? Sure, but a guy is not necessary. It also doesn't help that I am the only person my age in my church and most groups where I find community are all women.
“ A guy is not necessary” you say? With that attitude, no wonder you’re still single. Do you ever stop and reflect on just how possibly insulting that may be to males? ‘We don’t need males….just their seed’ is what you are basically saying. Also, you may very well have children without a male role model and a father for your children….good luck with that. I’m sorry if I seem rude sister, but honestly, I hope you understand my point. My humble advice? Make it your sim to take a dedicated time of prayer, and literally go somewhere alone with a good and PRAY that if it is God’s will for your life, He would provide a wonderful husband for you. Trust God that he can and will provide you with exactly the right one for you. I did this and found the love of my life. It works. Hope this helps. God bless you.
@midnightexpress726 0 seconds ago “ A guy is not necessary” you say? With that attitude, no wonder you’re still single. Do you ever stop and reflect on just how possibly insulting that may be to males? ‘We don’t need males….just their seed’ is what you are basically saying. Also, you may very well have children without a male role model and a father for your children….good luck with that. I’m sorry if I seem rude sister, but honestly, I hope you understand my point. My humble advice? Make it your aim to take a dedicated time of prayer, and literally go somewhere alone with God and PRAY that if it is God’s will for your life, He will provide a wonderful husband for you. Trust God that he can and will provide you with exactly the right one for you. I did this and found the love of my life. It works. Hope this helps. God bless you.
@@midnightexpress726 "With that attitude, no wonder you're still single." That is most likely one of the reasons why she doesn't want a man in her life. Even a mild case of bullying will turn off anyone.
When you're an introverted male or on the autism spectrum (as more men are nowadays), dating is hard work. It doesn't come naturally to you. It feels like a job interview where you are interviewing for the job of "boyfriend" or "husband"---and there's no guarantee once the date (or interview) is over that you get the job! This can be very worrysome. Its easier just not to date at all and go into fantasy land
Would you consider interviewing Dr. Henry Cloud… He has some very interesting insights into psychology, mental health, Christian theology, and dating! He wrote: How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back in 2005
You might consider the Jesse Bernard Paradox in your discussion about the disparity between men and women seeking marriage? It’s an old study, but relevant to your discussion of options for women.
Dating inside of our community context is hard, though. I would love to meet someone, I don't use the apps, but I just have not met anyone to date in a LONG time. I'm in my 50s now, and I'm still open to meeting someone, but it doesn't seem likely at all.
Your 57yo sister in Christ here 🙋♀️. Are you remembering to pray for God to send a suitable mate? God leads me to my kegs & other things I misplace all the time (after I remember to pray & ask him to). So surely he can send a qualified husband your way💁♀️. Are you sure you really really WANT to be married?
there is no AI substitute for human presence. More importantly, the working of the Holy Spirit in the moment is key. There are wise ways to use these tools. This is not one.
I have been saying this for a long time, and I'm going to say it again...the church needs a comprehensive lifelong curriculum on healthy relationships. Boundaries, mutual respect, consent, etc. All i ever heard was only date people you would marry ( there were bo young men my age , so i didn't date). Save yourself for marriage and it will all be great. Married a man who confesses to be a Christian, it was abusive. Didn't work. No, this wont solve everything, but i think we need a foundation of how to treat each other in healthy ways. And i think if the church beautifully modeled that it would spill over into society. As it is, i do think some of the harmful messages of the church in my lifetime have created this mess.
It doesn't help that most Christian resources on marriage are just terrible. I'm grateful for people like Sheila Gregoire working to change that, but sheesh. So many books have been written where the only qualifications are "married pastor" or "married person".
10:58> It doesnt matter what the subject matter, nor context, Skye will ALWAYS pushback. Ive known of very, VERY few who love to argue as much a Skye Jethani. No matter how far the reach- he'll find a point to defy.. even if he has to create it Not bashing him- I have the very same tendency- just a glaringly obvious observation.
He's what you call a "contrarian". Whenever someone is speaking, you can literally see the wheels in his head turning--his eyes look upward like he's trying to think of a good comeback for whatever is being said
I’ve been listening to the Holy Post in an audio only format for nearly three years now. This is my first time watching the podcast with video to accompany it. The cognitive dissonance of hearing these familiar voices with the faces they belong to is too much for me 😂.
You guys love democracy??? You live in a country that doesn't rate as a full democracy. The USA is almost universally rated as a flawed(or deficient) democracy. University of Wurzburg( Germany) rates the USA as 36th. Tthe Top 10 of that rating include 8 European countries, New Zealand and Costa Rica. The Economist Intelligence Unit rates the USA as 29th and labels it a flawed democracy. In that rating New Zealand is rated as 2nd in the world. And before you pivot to freedom, The USA rates just as poorly. Australasia and Western European countries rate far better than the USA for Personal Freedom.
@@MrAustrokiwi we who live here (in my experience) know this. We can still love the ideal of being able to have a voice in the direction of one's community or country even when the country isn't living up to what we would like. It also varies by location: There is a huge difference between states and even cities and counties.
@@carolync2437 Republic = democracy. That oft quoted, IMHO ignorant, statement "the USA isn't a democracy its a republic", translates to the USA isn't a Democracy its a Democracy( makes absolutely no sense. republic is the English version of Res publica which was the period of Rome when it was governed as a democracy. NO wonder USA citizens have a flawed democracy and are less free than citizens of many other western countries.
@@carolync2437democracy’s fundamental quality is that it is “government by the people.” Being a “republic” is a separate question - it means that the government is publicly owned. If you host an event where people vote on what to eat for dinner, that’s democratic but not a republic - it’s your event. The UK is technically owned by the monarch so it’s a democracy but not a republic. “People’s Republic” is redundant.
Ugh... Fairly smart folks locked into a narrow view of thinking. Read more... Burnham, Francis, Yarvin, and Land for starters. Then you understand. Only in understanding can we seek answers.
As a single pastor on staff in a mostly elderly church, this conversation was very relevant to me. I wouldn't be comfortable with any of them setting me up (the idea of dealing with the fallout of ending a relationship with a parishioner's son or grandson makes me want to run for the hills), but it would be kind of nice if the alone-ness of the single people in our congregation was acknowledged once in awhile. It would also be nice if as a church we could acknowledge the extended adolescence of men and worked on discipling them rather than reinforcing that. I just had a conversation this morning about 45 year old frat boys and how they've flooded the dating pool, which is a large part of why I'm not even making an effort at this point. It's exhausting.
The 45 year old frat boys is why I have not gotten married and out of my friends only 2 have gotten married because it's hard to find a mature Christian man.
And the finger wagging is not limited to singleness! Try being a married couple in the church that doesn’t have children for a few years. We have kids now, but we waited 14 years. Why? Mostly because of money. We could not afford to have kids. But then we “didn’t have enough faith.” But if you have kids you can’t afford and then you need to go on welfare, it’s “you shouldn’t have kids if you can’t afford them.”
Basically you’re looked down on unless things work out in a certain way.
If you’re not rich you must be doing something wrong.
@@Justanotherconsumereither that or God wants you to be poor because he’s teaching you something
Sorry that was your experience. 😢
I am a single black man who just turned 35 this month. I can't speak for anyone else except for my own experience.
If you are someone like me who had been raised around broken marriages and scarred hearts, it can discourage you.
One of the memories I have is my Dad bringing home a green vase full of red roses. He fed them some form of plant food and wanted to surprise my Mom when she got home.
She gets home, they argue and next thing I know my Dad is grumbling underneath his breathe as he throws the roses he just bought in the trash. Memories like that can stick to an 11 year old boy, especially when they separated a year later. Marriage wasn't associated with happiness then, it was burdensome, abusive, painful. My parents prayed everyday, went to church, read the word, but their marriage was horrible.
My Mom has been happily single for years now and my Dad remarried. I seek God's wisdom in matters of love and let be what will be. Until then I will continue to work on myself and try to be as good a man I can.
Still, I would rather live peacefully with God's love than have my heart shattered by a potential partner. If God feels I'm not ready to be a boyfriend let alone a husband I have to face that fact too. One thing I want to make sure of is that I don't hurt my future wife or children if I'm blessed with them. I want to be better than the examples I witnessed. So I'll wait even if it never happens.
Similar background in terms of parents. They never got along. It was always turmoil, especially since my father had a drinking problem.
I got married in my early 30's . I would always theorize in my head how my marriage would be different and how I wouldn't be my father. Until you are in the situation you will never know who you are and how you respond in difficult situations. I 100% responded to criticism the same way my dad did (minus the drinking and infidelity) I hurt my wife because as a dude, now in his 40's, I wasn't taught how to do anything other than react and suppress things.
You will mess up. People will get hurt. But it's a matter of how you learn from it and grow. I'm still learning and mess up all the time .
I grew up Catholic and saw a great deal of value in confessing to a person. It's not supposed to be easy, and talking to a person about the things you don't want to post on facebook helps you to mature and be a better person. Confessing to a machine is easier, but not as valuable.
I am not so sure about arranged marriages in churches. I attended a fundamentalist church organization where the pastors would put couples together. Many of those couples I knew are no longer together. I think that their premise was if they were saved then they could get along. The church should first be a healthy church, not authoritarian and controlling. The people should have a real love and concern for the well being and flourishing of one another. Then perhaps the church would be a good place for matchmaking.
I love Kaitlyn’s outlook but I think the church is troubled by more tribalism than building true community. I think it’s one of the main reasons why the American church is not diverse.
This
Before I met my wife, I was part of a church community where, instead of my loneliness and desire for marriage and children being validated, I was told God had called me to singleness and that I was an idolater.😑
One thing that always frustrates me about the conversation on dating & the church is that... there are FAR more faithful, involved single women in the church than there are single men.
Especially past the age of 25.
I know so many phenomenal women are serving in their churches knowing they'll never meet anyone that way - but they do it because they love Jesus and they love the church.
And while Skye and Phil are not doing the thing of berating these people for being selfish, they are a bit naive to assume that just more church involvement would fix anything. It doesn't.
Which, is not the church's fault. I don't think anyone's looking for them to be a dating service - but when you're turning 30, 40, 50 and people are still saying, "Meet someone through the church!" it's frustrating. That's not happening for most women who are really involved in their churches.
I don't know any woman who has met her husband in church past the age of 25. I'm sure they exist. But every woman I know who got married past the age of 25, met that man online.
And they are guys who go to church, for the most part, but they were never going to meet them being involved in their own churches.
Another factor in modern dating that I think should be considered is that many Gen Xers, Millenials and Gen Zers are children of divorce. I'm willing to bet that they're concerned that they'll repeat the mistakes of their parents and that it will affect their kids the same way it affected them.
Single man here, I’ve definitely noticed the lack of community my father has as an adult and have tried very hard to invest in the guys in my church around my age (both single and married) and have found how many of them still miss community despite being apart of a church that has try in the last few months to make singles feel more welcomed. I’m not sure what it is but men want community but just can’t seem to find it unless someone else goes out of there way to help them. As much as I don’t want to be single right now, I am recognizing how impactful I can be as a single man in my church to the point where I am having an internal debate over if I should just stay single my entire life or not. I have the desire for a family and marriage but I see how much I can do to help people while being single, it’s tough but ultimately I’m having to trust in the Lord through all of this!
Only advice I’d have is to have non-contentious hobbies you can talk about.
Those hobbies may not lead to dates, but they do lead to more interesting conversations.
I learned to cook (health issues and had to cut salt), started hiking, and got season tickets to the opera.
I enjoy gaming and New Testament theology but neither of those make for good “I am not a weirdo” first real life conversations.
(Edit - except at church, where talking New Testament is generally OK just don’t get too feisty about it.)
@ oh trust me, I have no issues with connecting with people. My tension is in desiring a family while also realizing how much I can do for my church community while single
@@FrankJosephHallkids basically remove your ability to do anything else for a couple of years.
Once they can walk and talk and understand simple instructions it gets easier.
@@FrankJosephHalllol, TH-cam doesn’t like it when I say that having kids takes all of your time.
Just for a few years, but… yeah, not good for involvement.
As long as you don't end up in a situationship with someone in church that's great. I can't tell you how many of my friends found themselves in a DTR ( define the relationship) with a guy in church who they thought they were building a relationship with...only to find out he was trying to " work on his relationship with God". Maybe it was a cop out...but it happened a lot
This was amazing. Thank you!
Agreed! The entire episode!
1. I feel so grateful to H.P that these conversations are starting to pivot away from repetitive political reactions.
2. In my first twenty-five years of life, I am pretty sure I *never* experienced or encountered in Christian establishments a wise, loving, non-patronizing, non-stigmatizing approach to single people. The top strategies, "you'll find someone some day" and "your singleness is such a noble service to the body of Christ" are both trite and dismissive, however well-intended. Our very tendency to categorize people according to their marital status is something I find gross and alienating.
3. It was also very rare for me while growing up to encounter in Christian establishments a theology of *manhood* that was not rooted in mid-20th-century American hyper-masculinity and/or shame and obligation. Not that popular culture is any better. I wish people in every realm would start looking way, way deeper than "man-boys gonna man-boy" when diagnosing the despair, underperformance, and disconnectedness of men. One place to start might be the violent cognitive dissonance created in some men by the message "you are responsible for everything; you can't be trusted with anything."
4. I long for robust conversations about the experiences of men, of women, and of women and men together. Sadly, I feel that such dialogues are often severely constrained by ideological compulsions and taboos. I feel that a big factor in allowing such conversations to flourish is setting aside some of our predispositions and fears (be those religious or societal) about what we should or should not say; what conclusions we should or should not come to.
The team got away from it as they warmed up (and the conversation got more interesting), but when they first started talking about what's going on between women and men I heard, as I so often do when sex and gender are on the table, one commonplace after another about what men are or what women are or why they feel and behave the way they do.
When those sorts of ideas come out of our mouths, I feel like we are not even present in the conversation any more, nor sharing our own genuine experiences and feelings. When we're editing lived experience to match it to an ideological answer sheet, it feels more like we are just filling out low-effort personality quizzes.
Here's to living and talking and relating like non-A.I. Jesus.
Love the visit from Hopkins representative. We'd love a Holy Post event here in Baltimore soon.
As women become more educated, we want to be treated with equal respect and equal partnership. If both are working, they both need to be involved with the home and the children.
Women racing to become the worst men possible.
@@bobbobberson5627 what is a woman?
@@batmanop9254you
@@bobbobberson5627 wrong. What is a woman?
It's not surprising that when society as a whole moves dating to a system that involves endlessly scrolling through shallow representations of total strangers, matching with a small fraction of them, then getting a response from an even smaller portion, for it to usually not go anywhere, that people would just give up.
It takes effort.
The experience for women is also really, really poor with lots of abuse, harassment, and similar nonsense.
For guys it turns into a numbers game - send out ten messages, get maybe one reply, maybe one in five replies leads to a date, maybe one in three dates leads to a second, etc…
Arranged marriage doesn’t seem so bad after a while.
Zechariah was struck mute because Abraham said the exact same thing to God about his old wife and God gave Sarah children. Zechariah was extra dumb for doubting God could do something twice. So God hit the mute button. We're allowed to question God. We're not allowed to doubt God can do something *again*
I met my wife online! ☺️
We have been married for over 2 years! We connect really well and have a happy marriage! I encourage people to be on a dating app. Obviously I know it doesn't always work out well but it does work sometimes!!😊
For my experience as a single 30 something heterosexual woman, my overall goal is to have children and I don't need a male spouse to do that. Would it be nice? Sure, but a guy is not necessary. It also doesn't help that I am the only person my age in my church and most groups where I find community are all women.
“ A guy is not necessary” you say? With that attitude, no wonder you’re still single. Do you ever stop and reflect on just how possibly insulting that may be to males? ‘We don’t need males….just their seed’ is what you are basically saying. Also, you may very well have children without a male role model and a father for your children….good luck with that. I’m sorry if I seem rude sister, but honestly, I hope you understand my point. My humble advice? Make it your sim to take a dedicated time of prayer, and literally go somewhere alone with a good and PRAY that if it is God’s will for your life, He would provide a wonderful husband for you. Trust God that he can and will provide you with exactly the right one for you. I did this and found the love of my life. It works. Hope this helps. God bless you.
@midnightexpress726
0 seconds ago
“ A guy is not necessary” you say? With that attitude, no wonder you’re still single. Do you ever stop and reflect on just how possibly insulting that may be to males? ‘We don’t need males….just their seed’ is what you are basically saying. Also, you may very well have children without a male role model and a father for your children….good luck with that. I’m sorry if I seem rude sister, but honestly, I hope you understand my point. My humble advice? Make it your aim to take a dedicated time of prayer, and literally go somewhere alone with God and PRAY that if it is God’s will for your life, He will provide a wonderful husband for you. Trust God that he can and will provide you with exactly the right one for you. I did this and found the love of my life. It works. Hope this helps. God bless you.
@@midnightexpress726 "With that attitude, no wonder you're still single." That is most likely one of the reasons why she doesn't want a man in her life. Even a mild case of bullying will turn off anyone.
It is better to be lonely and frustrated than it is to be trapped in an abusive relationship.
@@Justanotherconsumer are you meaning to imply that most marriages are abusive? or that that is the most likely outcome of trying to build a marriage?
I love this conversation about modern singleness. I pray more churches are this and act to improve things for thier young adults.
When you're an introverted male or on the autism spectrum (as more men are nowadays), dating is hard work. It doesn't come naturally to you. It feels like a job interview where you are interviewing for the job of "boyfriend" or "husband"---and there's no guarantee once the date (or interview) is over that you get the job! This can be very worrysome. Its easier just not to date at all and go into fantasy land
Would you consider interviewing Dr. Henry Cloud… He has some very interesting insights into psychology, mental health, Christian theology, and dating! He wrote: How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back in 2005
You might consider the Jesse Bernard Paradox in your discussion about the disparity between men and women seeking marriage? It’s an old study, but relevant to your discussion of options for women.
Maybe the Holy Post should sponsor a singles meetup at the next Okoboji bible conference ☺
Dating inside of our community context is hard, though. I would love to meet someone, I don't use the apps, but I just have not met anyone to date in a LONG time. I'm in my 50s now, and I'm still open to meeting someone, but it doesn't seem likely at all.
Your 57yo sister in Christ here 🙋♀️.
Are you remembering to pray for God to send a suitable mate? God leads me to my kegs & other things I misplace all the time (after I remember to pray & ask him to). So surely he can send a qualified husband your way💁♀️.
Are you sure you really really WANT to be married?
Greetings from Omaha ☕
I thought the show was going to be brought to us by a Christian dating app. 😊 Seriously, I hope you do talk more about this topic.
Maybe you should invite Mark Driscoll on to talk about dating and relationships
there is no AI substitute for human presence. More importantly, the working of the Holy Spirit in the moment is key. There are wise ways to use these tools. This is not one.
I have been saying this for a long time, and I'm going to say it again...the church needs a comprehensive lifelong curriculum on healthy relationships. Boundaries, mutual respect, consent, etc. All i ever heard was only date people you would marry ( there were bo young men my age , so i didn't date). Save yourself for marriage and it will all be great. Married a man who confesses to be a Christian, it was abusive. Didn't work. No, this wont solve everything, but i think we need a foundation of how to treat each other in healthy ways. And i think if the church beautifully modeled that it would spill over into society. As it is, i do think some of the harmful messages of the church in my lifetime have created this mess.
It doesn't help that most Christian resources on marriage are just terrible. I'm grateful for people like Sheila Gregoire working to change that, but sheesh. So many books have been written where the only qualifications are "married pastor" or "married person".
10:58> It doesnt matter what the subject matter, nor context, Skye will ALWAYS pushback. Ive known of very, VERY few who love to argue as much a Skye Jethani. No matter how far the reach- he'll find a point to defy.. even if he has to create it
Not bashing him- I have the very same tendency- just a glaringly obvious observation.
He’s a gunner at heart, in law school terms.
He's what you call a "contrarian". Whenever someone is speaking, you can literally see the wheels in his head turning--his eyes look upward like he's trying to think of a good comeback for whatever is being said
I think AI matchmaking is actually a great idea.
I’ve been listening to the Holy Post in an audio only format for nearly three years now. This is my first time watching the podcast with video to accompany it. The cognitive dissonance of hearing these familiar voices with the faces they belong to is too much for me 😂.
I also never knew there was a graphic for News of the Butt! I have been missing out on so much for so many years!
That was a lovely introduction but can they fly? No?
Sky I had the same thought before you said it. It's because that image the world has of Jesus is false.
Why was it an AI Jesus as opposed to an AI priest. That is who they always talk to.
You guys love democracy???
You live in a country that doesn't rate as a full democracy. The USA is almost universally rated as a flawed(or deficient) democracy. University of Wurzburg( Germany) rates the USA as 36th. Tthe Top 10 of that rating include 8 European countries, New Zealand and Costa Rica. The Economist Intelligence Unit rates the USA as 29th and labels it a flawed democracy. In that rating New Zealand is rated as 2nd in the world. And before you pivot to freedom, The USA rates just as poorly. Australasia and Western European countries rate far better than the USA for Personal Freedom.
So only people who live in those other countries love democracy?
@@MrAustrokiwi we who live here (in my experience) know this. We can still love the ideal of being able to have a voice in the direction of one's community or country even when the country isn't living up to what we would like. It also varies by location: There is a huge difference between states and even cities and counties.
We are probably more accurately described as a constitutional republic. Flawed, yes, but some of us are doing our best to make it better.
@@carolync2437 Republic = democracy. That oft quoted, IMHO ignorant, statement "the USA isn't a democracy its a republic", translates to the USA isn't a Democracy its a Democracy( makes absolutely no sense. republic is the English version of Res publica which was the period of Rome when it was governed as a democracy. NO wonder USA citizens have a flawed democracy and are less free than citizens of many other western countries.
@@carolync2437democracy’s fundamental quality is that it is “government by the people.”
Being a “republic” is a separate question - it means that the government is publicly owned. If you host an event where people vote on what to eat for dinner, that’s democratic but not a republic - it’s your event. The UK is technically owned by the monarch so it’s a democracy but not a republic.
“People’s Republic” is redundant.
Ugh... Fairly smart folks locked into a narrow view of thinking. Read more... Burnham, Francis, Yarvin, and Land for starters. Then you understand. Only in understanding can we seek answers.
Helps if you explain what they’re missing.
Dropping names doesn’t mean much.
Sure. This isn't about what they have been told. It is a Marxist class struggle we are seeing. Only it isn't between the classes that Marx thought.