Thanks for the video! The best advice I received was "they didn't leave you for someone better, they left you for someone easier and who wont keep them accountable or require emotional intimacy with them."
Ohhhh that advice is so spot on! That’s exactly what is going on and once you hear this you can instantly see how it’s true! I really appreciate you sharing this!
Exactly. Dating a 58 yr old travel nurse , currently having multiple affairs, with doctors, but, hides and controls every emotion possible. Just refuse s to stop making guy friends. She’s also abusing cocain and alcohol!! Avoid , Control, Abuse, Trauma, Sec, zero Emotions!
I got the same + “I just can’t be in a relationship right now” after a few months of not working on herself enters new relationship. Also told me she had commitment issues… then a few days later told me she committed to this new guy, after 3 years together.
First guy I ever dated: “I’m not over my ex.” He was in a relationship with some sketchy random a month later. HOWEVER, I was not jealous. I ended up at a party with his ex about six months later. Ex’s phone was blowing up with calls from him. So even though he was in a relationship, he was still in love with his ex and making secretive phone calls behind his new partner’s back.
True. All many things we wanted to do together he implemented with other girls “friends “… Trying to show me I wasn’t enough while before “screaming “ “you are special, I haven’t had such feelings for a long time”. I was blamed for going deep, for trying to create meaningful connection. Even if he understands he messed up for bringing me pain, he will never admit that, continue breadcrumbing others. “People are simply replaceable “ in their mind. Will not deny it shattered my self-esteem. But after a time and healing I realized it was never about me. Neither about my worth. Inability to build something meaningful and lasting - that’s the circle they put themselves in.
Exact same story here but replace your ex with my ex wife and replace his friends with her parents. She was with them literally almost 24/7 and revolved her entire like around them like a child. It was emasculating
My severely avoidant sleep with rebound nightly and doing things together but with me he’s isolated and distanced. I am his 18 years wife with kids! He’s so disgusting! So insecure! All he wanted just external validation! I don’t want him back! I can reuse him!
If I bring up a subject that bothers me, a valid reason! It is a no win situation! She will push me away because she knows I'm right but the ego gets in the way and she goes into avoidant mode!!!! 6 YR CYCLE!!!!!!
This makes a lot of sense from my POV. Noticing a lot of this with my avoidant ex. I always pushed her to become a better version of herself and held her to high standards throughout our 4 year relationship because I knew she was capable of being great. It must of been too much for her because she constantly self sabotaged our relationship throughout the years by ghosting, deactivating and eventually cheating on more than one occasion. Now shes dating new people and from what I can see through social media she’s got her act together. Quit drinking and quit doing drugs. Not cheating or entertaining guys secretly anymore because she won’t even respond to my texts to talk or meet up because she’s trying to be faithful but when we were together she would go out behind my back to see male friends. Now she wants to get her act together lol. It honestly pisses me off because why couldn’t you do any of this for me. Side note I was her first good guy. First guy that didn’t physically or mentally abuse her and I took care of her and saved her out of many bad situations. Never be a woman’s first good guy. She will teach you the greatest lesson you never want to receive!
someday someone will come along they really like who rejects them for their bullshit and that'll snap them out of their ways, but that person isn't you
😂 why avoidant don't want or don't accept they are wrong? everything they point to you.. even if you explained alot. why your jealous or mad it's because of them anyway. even you communicate your don't and want in a relationship? 😢
Because they're so fragile from being hurt that they will only accept life being their way. It's a form of extremely overbearing selfish boundaries coupled with manipulation
Thanks for the video! The best advice I received was "they didn't leave you for someone better, they left you for someone easier and who wont keep them accountable or require emotional intimacy with them."
Ohhhh that advice is so spot on! That’s exactly what is going on and once you hear this you can instantly see how it’s true! I really appreciate you sharing this!
Exactly. And "easier" will be to their detriment.
@smokingcrab2290 sadly yes. They won't have to confront their shortcomings and won't grow as a person. They will remain comfortable and stuck.
"i need to work on myself" proceeds to go out there dating everyone else
Exactly. Dating a 58 yr old travel nurse , currently having multiple affairs, with doctors, but, hides and controls every emotion possible. Just refuse s to stop making guy friends. She’s also abusing cocain and alcohol!! Avoid , Control, Abuse, Trauma, Sec, zero Emotions!
I once had an ex tell me he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship but somehow I find out through the gossip mill that he’s engaged.
I got the same + “I just can’t be in a relationship right now” after a few months of not working on herself enters new relationship. Also told me she had commitment issues… then a few days later told me she committed to this new guy, after 3 years together.
textbook avoidant behaviour. speaking from personal experience
First guy I ever dated: “I’m not over my ex.”
He was in a relationship with some sketchy random a month later.
HOWEVER, I was not jealous. I ended up at a party with his ex about six months later. Ex’s phone was blowing up with calls from him. So even though he was in a relationship, he was still in love with his ex and making secretive phone calls behind his new partner’s back.
True. All many things we wanted to do together he implemented with other girls “friends “… Trying to show me I wasn’t enough while before “screaming “ “you are special, I haven’t had such feelings for a long time”.
I was blamed for going deep, for trying to create meaningful connection.
Even if he understands he messed up for bringing me pain, he will never admit that, continue breadcrumbing others. “People are simply replaceable “ in their mind.
Will not deny it shattered my self-esteem. But after a time and healing I realized it was never about me. Neither about my worth.
Inability to build something meaningful and lasting - that’s the circle they put themselves in.
Exact same story here but replace your ex with my ex wife and replace his friends with her parents. She was with them literally almost 24/7 and revolved her entire like around them like a child. It was emasculating
Hello, conflicts are a part of life. Avoidants are toddlers in adult bodies. Roll my eyes, bored ad nauseum. Seeing grown ups only.
Hel/she is not in to you. Let's move on ladies and gents.
100%! That is the best thing you can do when dealing with this!
True!
Im not into him bro. Total loser who said he loved me, bla, bla, bla
It was definitely him, a whole hot mess avoidant.
This is exactly how my last relationship fell apart. This video gave me clarity. Thank you!
You are so welcome! I’m glad this video was able to do this for you!
This is so good! Thank you
My severely avoidant sleep with rebound nightly and doing things together but with me he’s isolated and distanced. I am his 18 years wife with kids! He’s so disgusting! So insecure! All he wanted just external validation!
I don’t want him back! I can reuse him!
If I bring up a subject that bothers me, a valid reason! It is a no win situation! She will push me away because she knows I'm right but the ego gets in the way and she goes into avoidant mode!!!! 6 YR CYCLE!!!!!!
Thank you for sharing 🥺
You’re so welcome! 😊
You are so great. How do you know so much? Did you used to be this way?
My question too, unless he’s been working with truly avoidant clients. But avoidant won’t open to anyone easily!
I've wondered same thing because Tynell is spot on and detailed
This makes a lot of sense from my POV. Noticing a lot of this with my avoidant ex. I always pushed her to become a better version of herself and held her to high standards throughout our 4 year relationship because I knew she was capable of being great. It must of been too much for her because she constantly self sabotaged our relationship throughout the years by ghosting, deactivating and eventually cheating on more than one occasion. Now shes dating new people and from what I can see through social media she’s got her act together. Quit drinking and quit doing drugs. Not cheating or entertaining guys secretly anymore because she won’t even respond to my texts to talk or meet up because she’s trying to be faithful but when we were together she would go out behind my back to see male friends. Now she wants to get her act together lol. It honestly pisses me off because why couldn’t you do any of this for me. Side note I was her first good guy. First guy that didn’t physically or mentally abuse her and I took care of her and saved her out of many bad situations. Never be a woman’s first good guy. She will teach you the greatest lesson you never want to receive!
What’s the longest period she ghosted you for during your 4 year relationship?
So if an avoidants ghost you, leave you or reject you it means they liked you ?? Or did they never like you
they didn't like you enough to try and overcome their avoidance
someday someone will come along they really like who rejects them for their bullshit and that'll snap them out of their ways, but that person isn't you
Who cares? I'm not interested anymore. Had him, been there, done that. Adios a hole!😂😂
😂 why avoidant don't want or don't accept they are wrong? everything they point to you.. even if you explained alot. why your jealous or mad it's because of them anyway. even you communicate your don't and want in a relationship? 😢
Because they're so fragile from being hurt that they will only accept life being their way. It's a form of extremely overbearing selfish boundaries coupled with manipulation
@smokingcrab2290 yes I hope avoidant people heal or even know they have that kind of attachment style..
❤