The brother's reaction to her wanting a legally binding contract for him to pay for her university is telling. He just wants OP to drop the lawsuit, and has zero intentions to pay a cent.
Oh, totally. Someone throwing a hissy fit about contracts and whining about "trust" has become one of the biggest red flags in the world to me right now.
It's like when a car thief steals your car and sells it then calls you and tells you he will return the car if you pay him 25K ..when you ask him to see your car " what you don't trust me"..
The moment "why are you airing the family's dirty laundry?" is said, I know who not to trust. There would be no dirty laundry in the first place if the family had behaved well from the beginning. Good, honest behavior has no need to worry about being put in the public eye where it can be properly judged.
Story 3 is crazy! The fact that there are men that'll harrass women then play the victim when they get told by a higher power to piss off is something that really makes me mad
@@honzo9082 I completely understand where you are coming from, but excuses like college kids do stupid things just feeds sexism and harrassment. When I was in middle school I was sexually harrassed by boys everyday and all the teachers said was "boys will be boys".
Story 2: Imagine owning a flat/condo, having her live with you, presumably having been invited to moving in, then still charging your gf half the *MARKET RATE* rent. He doesn’t pay any rent and wants you to pay rent, fucking insane.
My thoughts exactly. I can understand sharing the household expenses, but charging your girlfriend rent for living with you? WTF kind of planet does he live on?
Yeah if I were the apartment owner and my partner moved in I would just want to split the utilities, taxes, food ect. With me, but not charge them EXTRA expenses, that’s just shitty unless you’re really in dire need of the money for whatever reason
Here’s what OP had said in story 1 on the matter: “The student law center at my university is helping me with everything. I have proof that the money was mine. I am trying to do everything I can so this does not become a criminal matter.” The law center is kind enough to help out with this issue. While it’s a criminal matter no matter how much eggshells OP walks on, I do hope she gets that money back.
The brother used stolen money given to him by his parents. Doesn't that mean the brother received stolen property? If true, then he should be criminally charged as well.
@@jeremystone5946 I believe he might get into legal trouble for accomplice as well. I say this because he knew that the money was stolen, but probably didn’t care because “FrEe MoNeY”.
@@jeremystone5946 That only applies if he knew the money was stolen. We don't know if that's the case. Like, if your boss stole some money and used it to pay your salary, you wouldn't be responsible for that because you had no idea it happened.
@@me-myself-i787 judging by the fact that now he DOES know that the money is stolen but refuses to side with OP is somewhat telling i’ll be honest. Now that would somewhat make him an accomplice especially since he now knows the money was stolen
@@noranizaazmi6523 Cleary he is the golden child so to speak. It cracks me up that family is telling OP to not put money before family when as the narrator pointed out, that's what Op's family did. Did her brother think of his sister (ie his family) when he took that money for her college for his wedding? Nope! I have similar situations involving my mom and sister where they would lecture me on thinking of the family and then I would counter with stories where they didn't think of me.
Story 3: NTA this woman is being harassed in class because boys are picking on her due to her gender, if the boy looses his scholarship it’s on him for being a sexist weirdo and trying to state it’s a joke. It’s downright harassment and bullying because they are trying to make this woman feel bad for being a woman and basically make her quit the program
It's yet another case of a harasser crying playing the victim card when they have to face the consequences of their actions. It's how you can tell they're really just a bunch of insecure fools who can't be bothered to deal with their problems in a healthier way! It's both sad and annoying to see.
It's only a "silly joke" AFTER they get called out on their BS. It's never just a joke beforehand, but as soon as they get caught being gross, toxic, sexist, etc., they go to the victim and say, "Hey, why'd you have to go and tell on us for bullying and harassing you? Can't you take a joke!?"
Story 3: As a woman, NTA. Harrassment isn't a joke. I have dealt with this type of sexism so many times, and OP is so lucky that they took her seriously because usually people don't.
I’m so glad the superiors are actually listening to her. People complain woman aren’t present in certain industries when the men on said industries are literally the reason women can’t progress on those careers, so happy her actions may end up with less assholes on the course, or help them to realize they are being assholes in the first place.
Even if you're not a woman, harassment still isn't a joke. I wish people would stop harrassing others. Def glad something came of it, but more clearly needs to be done-"went too far" my ass.
If only people didn’t commonly overblow or lie about situations to cause people to believe less than normal. But indeed, harassment should be taken seriously. The problem is lots of people claim ‘harassment’ when it’s actually nothing.
Last Story: I might have to disagree with the last post as Kimchi and bleu cheese can have a rather pungent odor to those sensitive or unfamiliar with the odor they give off. I love both, don’t get me wrong! But as many have said, OP literally has fermented cabbage, blue cheese, AND spicy Cheetos in a container sitting for more than an hour which is basically a ticking time bomb. Growing up, my school didn’t have a cafeteria, we basically ate in our home room. Basically anyone who ate a ham sandwich, “Lunchables”, or peeled an orange, would be smelling that ALL DAMN DAY. Also most schools (that I know of) won’t let you use the teacher lounge/Cafeteria refrigerator or microwave. I would save that particular lunch as a snack for when the kiddo gets home and plan a new lunch together. HOWEVER, I will give the teacher a big butthole score for not handling the situation like a professional/adult. Calling the food “inappropriate” and throwing a hissy fit is a REALLY poor choice of words/actions (which some have said could easily be misinterpreted as offensive or a cultural attack) owes OP (and the kid if she snapped at him in public) a huge apology.
I love me some bleu cheese, but can't say I've ever clocked it as particularly smelly... I did a fermented foods project with my students when teaching life science years ago and one young man did his on Kimchi and I just remember being so proud of his presentation, but begging him to not open the jar.
Having had coworkers bring "stinky" food to work, and microwaving it, it gets the funk all through the entire floor. We had to institute a rule against bringing really stinky food to work. The kitchenette was centered in the floor, so the smell permeated everything. It's not a racial issue, ALL cultures have stinky food. Easy to choose something else.
@@lancerevell5979 but you don’t call that food “disgusting” or “inappropriate.” THAT’S when it starts to cross the lines into racist territory. You discuss it like an adult and not a child.
@@bridi0821 Kimchi could well be considered an 'inappropriate' food choice for consumption in an enclosed space or lunch room/classroom where the stench hangs around.
Story 1: This is straight up theft, plain and simple. Just because they are "faAaAaMiLy" doesn't mean they shouldn't face the consequences. It's not a "family business", it's f*cking THEFT. And the brother didn't even ask who's money the parents used to pay for his wedding, so he is just as wrong in this situation. Even had the gall to call OP the AH for not trusting him. I mean, if he didn't bother asking who's money the parents used, why should OP trust him anyway? NTA.
It's a felony. In the US and European countries. I would have filed criminal charges. It was an illegal theft that was set for OP in her name. I would have sued them and then filed criminal charges.
Also, I don't know where OP is, but I don't know a single culture anywhere in the world that condones stealing from your own children. They are mad because they got caught, and I feel the reason the rest of the family is pushing this whole bs is because they are thinking only about their reputation (specially with the whole 'airing private family business in public bit); They got caught, and are angry because if anyone else knows about the lawsuit and the reason, no matter OP's country culture, they will be shunned for being disgusting thieves. Also I feel the brother knew very well it was OP's money, and like other comments pointed he just want the lawsuit to go away, and don't plan to repay OP a single cent; Also, depending on how much it was on the account, they may very well have used the money to pay more stuff to themselves and OP's brother than just his wedding (and of course none of it was remotely to OP).
Them being family almost makes it EVEN WORSE than if they were not. If my own family betrayed me that would fill me with even more hate than if a stranger did it. A family is supposed to love, protect, and nurture a person and thus is or should be held to an EVEN HIGHER standard. The "but we are family" is a mitigating factor in the OTHER direction meaning what they did is EVEN WORSE.
@@shycherrygirl They are treating the daughter like SHE is the embarrassment to the family rather than WHAT THEY DID TO HER was the embarrassment. They are making the VICTIM of their exploitation the VILLAIN.
Story 3: I was an ugly girl in college-- no money, always running on a few hours of sleep, no makeup, always working 40-60 hours a week to pay rent/buy books/live. -- I once had a professor that graded papers through false names because she was challenged by another student who said she was biased. Amazingly, my grades shot up! Another professor in college did his grades and always had them posted, using a strict non-biased mathematical calculation -- and I had the highest grade in the class! Before this, in high school, I also had the highest grade in chemistry because the teacher did the same thing -- all graded mathematically, no curve, no extra credit, everything posted. --- I struggled during school -- poor, sleep deprived, little time for effort into my appearance. In high school, I had all that and I was being abused. So yes, some professors and teachers are biased -- but it could be all different things -- some prefer male students, some prefer athletic students, some prefer pretty female students -- it's not pretty privilege, it's the individual professor or teacher and their grading methods -- every teacher or professor should post grades and grade in a non-biased way.
Last story: smell is a STRONG trigger for people. Considering the ingredients in the snacks, they definitely have a strong odor. I used to like the smell of pine but it recently began making me feel physically ill (40's Male, definitely not preggo.) OP needs to talk further; from the tone of the writing I wouldn't jump straight to racism, teacher might be recently pregnant and the smells could be triggering.
Ya, but saying "disgusting lunches" was the red flag part. She is speaking to a student's parent with contempt. That isn't professional and she is being unreasonable.
@@dudeorduuude5211 or it’s just the fact that kimchi literally smells like 3 week old bottled farts and is in fact kind of disgusting. Delicious but disgusting.
@@dudeorduuude5211Bleu cheese smells like straight up rotten feet! That paired with kimchi, spicy, and spam sounds bananas pungent. That poor woman's eyes were probably burning after that combo marinated in her room😅but she should have kept it classy/professional
Story 1: NTA! Go through with the lawsuit, and go NC with your family. "But we're family!" BS! Toxic is toxic. They value your brother more than they do you and your sister. That speaks volumes!
It's more like they value the men in the family as they shunned the aunt for being a strong independent individual who doesn't need a man to provide or take care of her. They view women was the usual sexist stereotype, baby makers, chef, cleaners, weak, etc. Since the men in their family are highly values because of gender, they take from the females what they don't need in their opinion. Op should sue the family. They literally stole money from her. It was never theirs to take, it wasn't ment for the brother at all, it was clearly set up for the females to do whatever they please with it. Since it was used for a wedding, and weddings costs thousands of dollars, 5 to 6 figures they should be ready to pay u. Family don't mean shet til you steal from them.
@James King family should steal from each other period, it breaks trusts in those who they steal from. They knew downright that money was never theirs, yet they didn't think they get sued by family.
Story 3: so the r/niceguys got mad that they were called out on their bs and had to face the consequences of their actions? Yeah I don’t see them lasting long in any good jobs due to them feeling that it’s okay to harass and make sexual and demeaning comments about a woman because she’s better that them.
Story 1: it's funny how your family's argument is your airing out private matters when the only way any of them could know you're suing is it your parent told everyone they know. They had no business taking your money, love loan for their son's wedding. A good sign that you're going to win at the fact they're trying so hard to get you the drop the lawsuit.
For the water story I have a question? If the girlfriend’s water bottle can carry enough water to last a person the whole day why didn’t she come over with it already filled? Why try to fill up your water bottle in a house where you were told not to use to much of due to their situation with their own tape water and the cost to use the gallon water? It’s good that the issue was resolved and both sides apologized but there had to be more to this situation with the girlfriend and the water is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I've brought empty bottles with me too and filled them up where I am because they get too heavy to carry. And it's not like she was wasting the water or even used up all the water. Op didn't say she used up all the water they had. She's just a control freak and a bully in my opinion. If she was filling her water bottle and dhmping it on the floor than yea he can have a problem with that. But she was thirsty and wanted to fill her water bottle. That's not a crime to do so 😂 ND honestly if he doesn't have enough water to fill 1 water bottle he's a shit father who's not providing the nessicities to raise kids and has only himself to blame 🤷♀️ also he's a jackass simply for calling her a brat for literally just filling up a water bottle 😂😂😂 the only brat in this situation was op
Yeah, I thought Rslash was a little bit off on this story - to me it's more of an ESH situation. Yes, OP was passive-aggressive, and she should have handled it better. Obviously, she doesn't like having the girl over all the time, which is totally understandable. But she should talk to her son about that, i.e. "I think there should be limitations on how often you entertain guests here," etc. That said, gf had no business getting huffy about the water. She should have explained herself nicely with an apology, i.e. "Sorry, I was filling my bottle for the day, but I'll be more careful." She's a guest in OP's home. Also, it wouldn't kill her to get a water refill for everyone once in a while; a good guest would do that.
@@SilverGhxstOP's family is made up of 5 people, the gf not included. She buys gallon bottles of water, which isn't that much when you're talking about 5 people. I'm assuming the gf isn't homeless, so she can most definitely fill her bottle up elsewhere. If she's using one of those large water bottles to keep hydrated all day, that could easily be 32 ounces to 64 ounces, that's 1/4 to 1/2 a gallon just for her. That's pretty selfish and annoying, especially if you've been told how the water situation works in someone else's house. Because that's the biggest factor, it's someone else's house, so she doesn't have the right to do as she pleases. OP's reaction may have been mean, but I think most people would be pissed if someone that isn't family is using up resources.
@lalisasmr so like I said op is failing at being a father simple as that. My family is a family of 5 too. And guess what? We have plenty of clean drinking water for everyone even or guests. And even if our guests do something to piss us off we don't throw a giant hissy fit like this giant man toddler did. 🤷♀️ he could have handled it in a better way too especially since ya know he's the adult. Doesn't matter what she did doesn't justify kicking her out like a jackass and calling her a brat bc your in a pissy mood. That's abusive and toxic. Wonder what slangs he throws at his own children 🤔 if he calls his sons girlfriend a brat he probably calls he sons vile names too.
4. Honestly I can relate to being annoyed by people being over at your house all the time. I remember one neighbor being around all the time as a kid and it just grates on you, especially if you find them annoying. So the water is a relatively minor thing but probably built up over a long time and snapped.
The water thing does seem pretty inconsiderate to me tho tbh. I know what it's like to have to buy drinking water and it gets EXPENSIVE. Plus if they're only using the jugs which cost alot? Yeah no thanks. She could be filling it up then dumping it later on because, "its warm!" Or "Its stale from sitting so long!". I can understand why OP got annoyed because if they only have 1 gallon of water for the family and the girlfriend comes daily and uses 64 oz, it'll add up fast. She shouldn't of been so rude about it but the GF should be more considerate
OP updates and mentions that the GF isn't around all the time, but has been around a bit more on the past six months since getting a licence. OP admits that she's been rude to this girl for the entirety of the three year relationship. So while this girl was 16/17 years old, OP was being rude, passive aggressive, and ugly. Moreover, when you consider the GF's lack of ability to get around on her own, the son was likely seeing her at special occasions and OP was being cold and rude to this girl during those as well, hers or his. The GF even says in her apology that she gets defensive because OP is mean to her all the time anyway, so it guided her reaction. The GF now brings her own water, without OP having prompted it because a civil conversation is all it would have taken.
@@queencars802 Um, the GF could also be more polite, not explain to OP that she takes all her drinking water for the day from the jug OP pays for and go to the son's room in a huff when she's told to go away. I would NEVER have dared do that in my MIL's house when I was married to her son, being family and not a mere GF. How rude is that girl ?
@@MdMzzz She's not. OP admits off the top that GF is actually really nice and OP simply doesn't like her despite that and she doesn't like her _for her son._ OP has nothing but complimentary things to say up until the single incident in question. How is that the girl being rude? OP admits that she herself is the rude one indirectly in her post and directly in her full update. GF finally hit the end of her tether being snapped at over a rule she didn't know she was breaking.
@@slytherinlibrarian3501 Hm. So, if someone is constantly mean to you, you choose to be at their house often, and when they passive-aggressively try to tell you not to mooch off them, you go to the BF's room in a huff ? And you don't leave when told to ? I don't think so. She can spend as much time as she wants with her BF at HER house, if OP is so mean to her. The GF is not telling the whole truth in her "apology",
I hate how men in male dominated fields treat women. I took woodshop in high school and was the one "female". My male teacher was very protective of us because he wanted to see more women in his classes.
I took wood shop in high school too! I was the only girl in the class as well! Way out of my comfort zone! Thankfully my teacher took me under his wind and helped me through my projects. I also believe he was keeping the guys from giving me a hard time for being the only girl!
Last story: I'm a brit and once took a spam butty to school and the whole class complained when I was eating it in class. So I will say its not necessarily racism towards food considering Kimchi is fermented cabbage and raddish so I imagine it's quite pungent. Just putting it out there.
I’m a Korean living in the UK and have been for 21 odd years. I can vouch that Korean food can be pungent. Go to New Malden if you want to try some good Korean food though
I eat kimchi, it is not my ethnic food, I did not grow up with it. It's not strong smelling unless you're shoving your face in some ones food, what scent it does have is just Korean chili sauce.
food also have a race, it's a very delicate topic but you should know if you have a gag reflex after encountering some food, and god forbids some certain group likes that food - you are a racist even worse than Trump and Hitler
@@RiveroftheWither I have to disagree. It is _extremely_ strong and foul smelling. It's not my food culture either, but one side of my family is Korean so I've been around both fresh and store-bought varieties. The ones sold in the store are more "Westernized" and don't carry such a strong odour. The ones sold in the "ethnic" stores are pretty bad when it comes to odour and have seasonings so heavy you can taste them with your nose. The ones my Aunt makes fresh, like she did in Korea, are WMDs. Pop the top and it can clear a house.
Story 2 - I think it's messed up that she has to pay him rent in a place he fully owns. She literally paying him for the privilege of dating him. Utilities and shared expenses I get but he's just pocketing her money? And now he wants more? That's messed up! Either sign a lease, or live separately at this point.
I don’t think OP paying rent is really an issue, as long as BF acts like a proper landlord and handles all pest control, maintenance, home insurance, and taxes (what rent is supposed to cover). But, anything beyond 50/50 for any other utilities or expenses, and especially if BF is having OP pay rent AND 50/50 on taxes, maintenance, pest control, and insurance… then he wants a mommy to live off of and definitely not a good partner.
The last story: One important note is that Kimchi smells very strongly. It's made from fermented vegetables and it's not unreasonable (or necessarily racist) for people to complain about that smell because it's definitely not for everyone. That post had a bunch of Koreans in the comment saying that OP was the asshole because of how strong Kimchi smells and that they would never let their kids bring it to school as lunch. Most non-Koreans in the comment didn't seen to know what Kimchi was and all just assumed it was a race thing. I am not Korean, but I have smelled Kimchi and it's definitely not for me. I wouldn't even be able to sit next to someone eating it. I am not saying it's definitely not a race thing. But it might be a legitimate complaint.
i agree with Rslash as I do see it as racist. But it doesn't matter, there are all sorts of food where someone may not like the smell of. Fish, for one. Part of learning to live in the world, is dealing with other people. It can be at work, at school, in a park...etc,etc. But you will not be able to run around telling people to not eat this or that, because you object. You go out in public, you have to deal with the public. Otherwise find a job that you can do at home.
Rslash I’m gonna have to disagree on the last story, kimchi is pretty pungent and that combined with bleu cheese and siracha soaked Doritos *(all of which most likely have been sitting inside some sort of container for more than an hour)* makes for probably the smelliest packed lunch you could make. Basically I don’t think it’s fair to immediately jump to the assumption that the teacher is being racist given how the possible smell could irritate everyone around the kid.
I'm unfamiliar with siracha myself. But at least in my office neither blue cheese or kimchi are acceptable to bring. Their smell is just too strong and lingers for too long. Altho, in summer some people do bring kimchi but it's no issue it as we eat lunch outdoors then. Haven't seen anyone try and bring blue cheese during summer.
Then why didn’t the teacher ask them to send something without a strong smell rather than to stop sending “inappropriate lunches”? Either the teacher is really not good at wording requests, or they are purposely avoiding saying outright what they dislike about the lunch, which is very suspicious.
@@lilliematthews7922 I’m gonna go with the teacher being terrible at explaining the issue and that they have a problem with the smell and not with what culture it came from, because it’s more realistic to assume she doesn’t enjoy the smell from the obviously pungent food compared to assuming she’s racist with no evidence
Story 2: this feels like a sneaky way of him to live off you, he has you paying rent and half of the utilities, which by the way I'm a 100% sure he's using your rent money to cover his half. Either that or spending money, now he wants more, this feels like a clever way to get you to fund his lifestyle, now he wants you to pay even more? OP you really need to ask yourself in this the kind of relationship you want.
I agree. 50/50 usage of utilities and groceries means 50/50 funding. And I think rslash has a point too regarding the bf probably not including rent into his “income”. I could easily see bf “losing” any job he might have if OP agrees, or suddenly having a bunch of extra material possessions or outings. If OP moves out… I imagine the relationship would end because BF seems to want a mom and not an equal partner.
For story 4, there’s also some (in my opinion) important context in OP’s update: OP’s son has been with the GF for *THREE YEARS,* and the GF had only been visiting the son at their house for the last few months. And OP admitted she was cold to her for the entire relationship basically because she ‘never thought she was right for her son.’
Yep. She was being rude to a child as the GF was likely 16/17 when they began dating, her son probably only saw her infrequently and when he did, OP was rude. OP on the other hand has nothing but complimentary things to say up until the water incident.
I think op was the asshole, but the gf doesn't make much sense to me. If the waterbottle is enough for how much you need in a day then why doesn't she fill it before she gets there?
@@solmas2111 We'll never know. She could have expressed concern to the son and he said don't worry, she could have had it filled and drank it all before she gets there and was refilling, we don't know in part because OP refuses(d) to speak to her civilly by her own admission in the update.
@@slytherinlibrarian3501 Exactly. And another thing they mentioned in the update is that they’re looking into the cost of a Brita pitcher… Let that sink in. Okay, so you don’t like the taste of your tap water, so you spend who-knows-how-much-total over X amount of time to have water delivered, yet it never once crossed your mind to *GET A FLIPPING BRITA FILTER!?* BRILLIANT!
@@slytherinlibrarian3501 In that case the gf could have said that instead of being disrespectful. A simple "BF said it was okay, I didn't mean to do something wrong, I'm sorry."
Regarding the last story, it is not uncommon to have school administration requested. Students not bring peanut butter or peanut products to school because somebody in the class has an allergic reaction to it. My office and most offices, I’m aware of, have a similar policy of not having strong, smelling food, or wearing perfume for that matter… This is like entitlement versus entitlement in my opinion. Sometimes you just should be thoughtful of other people, and those are very strong odors and if I do not think for most people, it is unreasonable to ask not to send that to lunch to school or to work…. She’s super selfish in my opinion just because her kid likes that that she’s willing to make everybody else miserable with the stench of it… Because for people with the fine gauge sense of smell, it’s pretty intense
If the teacher said, “Other students are bothered by the smell. Can you please send something else?” that would be a totally reasonable request. A rude and vague demand about stopping “inappropriate” and “distracting” lunches comes across very differently, at least in my opinion.
@Lillie Matthews it seems like both the teacher and OP are in the wrong here. Teacher for not being clear about tye issue and OP for not being considerate of the other students.
@@threecards333but it's just food. I'll never understand. Students can wear strong deodorant (or none at all!) And perfumes and smelly creams but can't wat food they love. So stupid
I remember I got kicked out of class for wearing perfume because my teacher couldn't handle it. My grandma was angry because I think it was turning into fall so I had to wait outside (it was a green house) my only thing is that I wish she would have told me sooner. And the perfume I wear now is lighter.
Story 3: ugh... as always, when people get caught in their BS, they try to worm their way out of trouble by pulling "it's just a prank, bro" or "it's just a silly joke" cards... Screw them. They don't deserve a scholarship. They don't deserve good employment. They don't deserve a future.
Story two makes no sense to me. Just because op makes more money doesn't mean their partner suddenly uses less utilities. There's two people, everything gets split two ways. Either that, or put all the money in one account if you're comfortable with that.
also when the boyfriend was making more, why didnt he pay more? theres no way they were making the exact same amount after tax. someone had to be making more than the other even if the difference was small. this is not just a matter of the boyfriend seeing the girl as a tenant, but also entitlement and jealousy
Expenses split proportional to income generally makes sense when a 50-50 would unreasonably burden one partner. In the US, housing and/or childcare usually inflate with income,and are often the dominant factor(s) in determining the cost of living. This means that if there's a significant income gap the poorer partner will likely be run through the meat grinder regardless of their initial on housing options or their labor contributions to household operations (ie. unless we're going to go through with the effort of calculating of monetary value of cleaning and childcare, the partner who works 25 hours a week in a lower paying job while doing everything else around the house they probably outta get a break).
IMO splitting rent proportional to income only makes sense when one person cannot afford their half of monthly expenses & the other is willing to pay extra to support their lifestyle. My ex offered this deal to me when she kept looking at apartments I couldn't afford & I only agreed to it as long as we went back to 50/50 once I got a better paying job
About the “teasing” and pretty privilege: what was the end game for implying her academic dishonesty? Obviously not to help her! It was to get her in trouble and maybe booted from the program. It’s bullying, not a joke, because she’s not laughing. That guy is getting his just desserts. Edit: About the lunches: I’d be hesitant to jump on the “it’s racist” wagon. Bleu cheese and goat cheese can be stinky and potentially distracting too. So could a tuna salad sandwich. In a small space it could lead to an issue especially if someone has a sensitivity to certain scents. If that’s the case, the teacher could word things differently and say it nicer for sure. But the parent isn’t being a bad guy for feeding their kid. They’re making a lunch they know will be appreciated and eaten. I’d have a meeting with her and the principal. If there’s no good reason for a message from the teacher like that, then pursue it.
@@MalekitGJ To me it smells fermented and sour, kind of like sauerkraut. It’s not bad to me, but I can see how it might offend others. Sauerkraut is worse to me. From my own experience, a lot of perfumes and air fresheners can trigger asthma or migraines, especially in a closed-in area with no ventilation, and the scent of lilacs is the most disgusting thing ever to me. Popcorn too. If the smell of the kimchi (or other foods, alone or in combination - and some of that food is stinky regardless of where it came from) is creating a disturbance, the teacher could have addressed it better especially since this seems like the first time it was broached. “Something in your child’s lunch smells unpleasant and its creating an issue in class. If possible, can we try substituting one item each day until we find what the source(s) might be?” Polite and solution oriented. It also might help the kid and parent out by discovering other viable lunchtime options.
@@MalekitGJ I am. It could also be a troll post. But, at face value (and being a teacher myself), teacher could handle things better and mom could work with the teacher on this. Yes, your kid needs to eat but unless there is a medical concern they can mix it up. I’m maaaaainly concerned with RSlash calling it racism right out of the gate. I know some people who can’t stand cheese smells. I know some people who can’t stand fermented/pickled smells like kimchi or sriracha. It could be the combination. Kimchi alone or cheese alone is tolerable. Vinegary cheese…. Maybe not so much.
I think there's too little info in the note and I think that's contributing to the the possibly racist part. Because, having grown up in the US, people have no problems calling out blue cheese. In fact, it's a trope that you literally see in Tom and Jerry cartoons. It's a reflex to write down "Please don't bring bleu cheese to school". But the fact she didn't tells me that that's not the thing she wants gotten rid of. It may be what's offending her, but that's not what she wants gotten rid of. Like, did you ever get that manager or boss that just accuses you of doing something bad but won't tell you what it is? Because the thing that's bad isn't really the issue? That's what this sounds like. Though it could just be she didn't think while she was writing. But that will be cleared up when OP talks to the principal. Though it does seem odd that a person, whose entire job is to instruct and educate children, didn't write clear instructions. With that said, in middle school, I was told to leave my lunch outside the class room because it smelled too much. My lunch was handmade (by me) dumplings. The filling was pork, minced ginger, green onions, chives, egg, a little bit of soy sauce, vinegar, sesame oil and tapioca flour. The same dumplings got no complaints when I brought it to other classrooms and several different workplaces throughout my life. So yeah, I can see why rSlash jumped to racism. Like US Americans keep telling me about racial stereotypes while I was growing up, where there's smoke, there's fire.
Story 2: There's certainly the 'proportional income' argument. But. I'd ask him to back-pay you the difference from before your new job. Since, if he's arguing it's "only fair" then he's also admitting that he has up to that point been unfair to you. So. He should make it right so that you can both move forward.
i can see your point however we dont know what the payment situation was before that, if before the new job he made more then her then yes that would certainly be a valid point, however if before the new job she allready made more then him would you say she should pay HIM back?
@@vhaelen326 True, I was assuming he was earning more prior to the new job. I suppose the bigger issue is OP doesn't indicate that her 'rent' is based on his bills but rather 'rent in the area' which is likely significantly more.
last story: as a preschool teacher i wanna state that when kids come to school with food which has a strong smell it could cause a lot of problems specially with the lunch room size. i dont know about the one in the story but when its a small lunch room it could become stinky and hard to for the other kids to bear the smell
Agreed. The family is the one who put money before family. I can't imagine putting a pretty pretty princess/prince for a day party (the wedding) over education.
Story 1: Gotta love the brother “how dare you not just blindly believe me? You’re an a**hole for that” …dude you STOLE her inheritance for your wedding…of COURSE she doesn’t trust you. Op you did nothing wrong, get that money girl!!
They are the only ones who owe anything. Not only have they stolen from OP and her sister, they likely stole from other female relatives waiting for the funds.
Blue cheese and kimchi have a very strong smell to them. I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask a parent not to pack these foods for their child as the smell can linger for a while and it can definitely be distracting.
Somehow someone got the entire class to smell like industrial cheese This dured 3 whole days (if i remember correctly someone vomited because of the smell) The lession here is dont bring chese to school
Story 4: NTA. This doesn’t sound like a one off situation, but definitely IS compounded by the mother’s dislike for the girlfriend, which doesn’t inherently make OP an asshole. Think for a moment Dabney, a vital and limited resource is being used up in your house, and it’s a hassle to replace. Someone you don’t particularly like makes use of this resource in excess, and pours “all the water they need for a day” at once, instead of drinking the water as needed. When you comment on that, they in turn act short with you and switch up tones. Because it’s your house, you ask them to leave, and that person SCOFFS at you, ignores the request, and then breezes away… Something tells me Dabney, when your child starts dating, or bringing friends over, you’re not going to let that fly either, especially if you’re not a fan of them to begin with.
Right? If she took tap water this might be a different story, but if water is really so hard to come by and I saw someone taking so much for themselves, I’d be angry too! It’d be like going to a friend’s house, opening the fridge and making yourselves several sandwiches to eat later and without even asking if it was okay!
@@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339 I agree with that sentiment, too. Due to everyone being aware of the limited water as well, makes it appear as if the girlfriend was intentionally hoarding water in the event it does run out while she’s there, since she won’t be bothered to replace it for the entire household, but understands the inconvenience of going without. Regardless of the happy outcome of this story with OP’s update, I would be creating boundaries for the amount of time the girlfriend can stay at the house. If her son is still a teenager, or in high school, it’s inappropriate for him to have essentially a live-in girlfriend, especially one that doesn’t contribute to the household in anyway. If her son is a young adult, say in college, then those same boundaries would still also apply, especially if neither the son, nor the girlfriend contribute, and are essentially still dependents.
Also, why the hell are you filling up your water bottle with water for the entire day at SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE? Why not just do it at your own house (especially when replenishing that water is a hassle for the people your taking it from).
@@3scotto I agree. Having someone over sometimes is nice, but it'd bother me too if I had a guest all the time - and then someone who's treating me so rudely after using my resources. I guess there is already some history between (at least) OP and gf that we don't know, because to me it sounds like there was already tension there before this interaction.
And an attractive woman at that. They likely thought "oh, we have an advantage on her because she pretty (so never had to work hard) and a woman (so incapable of being smart and hard working)", then realized she bested them on both fronts, so what excuse do they have left? It's the "adult" equivalent of "oooohhhh!! You were beat up by A GIRL!".
Most scholarships have clauses for good personal and academic standing ( 3.0 GBA, no misconduct, etc) and being a sexist pig that harasses other students is/ should be a disqualifier for any scholarship!
@@natkatmac lol! I wish I had a witty quip to add to an evil laugh, but I'm too sleepy for that at the moment. Let's just pretend I added one, followed by an uproarious "muahahahahahahahaha!", k?
I hate people who think they can do things to their family and when their consequences come back to bite them they try to use the family card to avoid responsibility. 1st story, NTA x1000
I think the biggest thing to consider in the water story is the fact that this girl brought this big water bottle but didn't bring it over filled. Seems like she intentionally is trying to get this good bottled water, which OP is right to get upset about.
Agreed! Plus its super inconsiderate that she's doing this knowing they have to buy the gallon jugs. If it's the water bottle I'm thinking of it's probably 64 oz, that's half a gallon on just her. I have to buy water and it gets expensive fast. I feel like theres alot more to the story, they clearly dont get along or like each other.
@@queencars802 the mother said she dislikes the girlfriend, but she is vocal about it and it really seems like the gf is trying to piss her off, she's a guest but behaving like a spoiled brat in my opinion. If I don't like someone and they keep using things I pay for all the time after saying multiple times not to use it, they would wish I was as calm as that mother, she only said it, with me she would have felt it.
If you steal money from strangers u go to jail, not only should u sue them for the money, but also get them arrested for it. They basically said that your future isn't as important as your brothers party.
The last story. I don't think it IS racism to request a more appropriate lunch for the kid. It does however, depends on the demographic of the class. I will say I love kimchi with a bowl of rice but I can admit some kimchi (depending on how fermented it is) can have a strong smell and I believe that's what the problem is. The other kids may not have experience with it and find it disgusting. Just like my bf and I. He's Taiwanese and I'm mexican (American born). There's a dish that he loves which is called smelly tofu (fermented tofu) to me it smells like burning diapers but to him he loves it. I tried it, it's just not for me.
Used to work at a Korean based company where all the management were brought in from SK. Everyone knew to stay away from the office area while they were eating. It always smelled like someone died. I know pungent food can be good but man when it makes your eyes water it's a bit much to expect to eat it around other people. It would be like calling it racist to get mad when someone microwaves fish at work.
I think it might also be the blue cheese. Depending on what kind, it could be a real odor bomb. Like gorgonzola is very mild in the odor, while roquefort, apparently, is quite awful (never had it myself, just what i heard from friends). Could really just be the smelly food
The teacher did say it was specifically the odor, and most instances of kimchi I’ve been exposed to are pretty damn potent. There’s also the blue and goat cheeses.. I wouldn’t say she’s being racist, but for a little kid those things are very out of the ordinary in America, so I can see her point.
With the last story I can kinda understand not wanting to have Kimchi constantly brought into the classroom. If you’re not used to fermented food it could smell awful to you. My mom hates anything fermented, but she tries to tolerate it being in the fridge sometimes since my sister’s like Kimchi. However, I’m sure she’d be a lot less willing to tolerate it if it was a food that they liked to eat every day. It’s not racism in this case, it’s just a sensitivity to the strong smell
I think the water story is much much more easily understood if you replace water with something like fruit snacks. OP already doesn't like having the GF around all the time. She buys fruit snacks for her 5 person house and makes it a rule for everyone to ration their fruit snacks so they last longer. Then the GF comes along and starts to take a bunch of fruit snacks and put them into a bag. When you tell her to stop, she gets snippy with you and tells you that actually, the contents of her bag are the amount of fruit snacks needed for her daily caloric intake. You tell her to put them back, but she runs back to your son's room. I think the OP is justified.
I don't think this analogy works lol.... Going to assume the girl has a liter (or more) hydro flask, because those are pretty hefty. You don't really need fruit snacks, but you do definitely need water. She definitely could have filled it up at her house tho. Side note, why the HELL is OP ordering individual gallon water bottles??? Every place I've been has had at least one spot to fill up 5 gallon jugs, and it's usually only like $2 to refill them after an initial big purchase for the jug itself. Just seems extremely wasteful and cost inefficient.
In the last story, I can not defend on HOW the Teacher acted, Especially if it IS racially motivated. However, I do understand the basic reasoning of the smell issue. Kimchi, for those who don't know, has a very STRONG odor that most describes as pungent and off-putting, at least when I asked my friends who actually have eaten it on a regular basis. Who btw tend to not eat it around others to be courteous to them because they admit the smell is NOT for everyone and should not be forced upon. Anyways, in a classroom that is usually not well ventilated, foods like this can quickly overwhelm everyone especially the kids who will complain their heads off about it, usually resulting in bullying. I substitute from time to time and there was an issue in another class were a pre-K student had to stop bringing in his mom's boneless wings because it burnt the other student's eyes when the lunch was opened up, even well after he finished but it lingered in his breath. He was nicknamed Fire-Breath by the students (which sounds cool but is still upsetting to him) so he willingly (not told to) stopped bringing them, or had them with less spice in the sauce. It was sad to see but this does happen with other foods just to show the point of disruptive foods and what they would cause in a classroom setting.
Story 2: OP is NTA because they weren't doing this to begin with. They were already splitting things 50-50. He only has an issue now because he thinks he can save more by making her pay even more.
Story 3: they are only calling it a joke when they were confronted with the repercussions that they could possibly face for their actions that they chose. This is ongoing recurring abuse, and it’s only a joke if everyone is laughing and she’s clearly not.
In the first story when OP’s family accused her of putting money over family the first thing I thought of was that they were doing the exact same thing to her. Then when I heard rSlash say it as part of his judgment I was like “thank you!!” I hope she continues with the lawsuit and if her brother really wants to pay her tuition she SHOULD get it in writing because she can no longer trust her family. NTA.
4th story: I believe OP is one of those mom's that wants their sons to be the type of Mama's boys that can't lay off her breast milk and gets super jealous when there's another woman in the picture.
Story 4: NTA Sounds like the water was the tipping point for OP. If the girlfriend is there every day for multiple hours a day, I’m going to assume OP also has to provide food for her. I’d be pretty pissed if someone pretty much moved into my house and started raising the food and electric bills, and didn’t even show any gratitude for that. If she were struggling and needed a better housing situation, that can be worked out and discussed to benefit everyone. From what it sounds like, she’s just being a leech.
Story 2: When my spouse made more money than me, they paid more. Now that I make more than them, I pay more. I strongly agree that proportional income should affect proportional bill paying. But I agree with rSlash that the rent you're paying him should factor into that, too. He should either not be charging you rent AT ALL, or if he is charging you rent, he should count that towards your monthly contribution to bills. You might want to seriously consider either moving out and getting your own place where this isn't an issue, or breaking up if you can't agree on an equitable distribution.
Here's my proposed solution (math incoming) A = his income B = her income C = fair market value of rent D = total cost of all other non-rent shared bills A/(A+B)=X, the percentage of total income he earns. B/(A+B)=Y, the percentage of total income she earns. X*D = Total amount he owes towards bills Y*D = Total amount she owes towards bills Y*C = How much rent she should be paying So basically, she should be responsible for a proportional percentage of the bills, but should also be paying only a percentage of the rent, not the full market value of it. So, let's say (to make the math easy), that she earns $30/hr, he earns $20/hr, bills are $500/mo and he's currently charging her rent in the amount of $1500/mo. Instead of $1500+((30/50)*500)/mo, she should be paying (30/50)*(1500+500)/mo. But really, I stand by my original comment that she should consider getting her own place and/or dumping him if they can't get on the same page about money.
I don't think the teacher at the end is being racist. Just rude. I know people who are Korean. They're good people. That doesn't mean I'll like the smell of some of the food. Some people have sensitive noses, and if you're not used to the smell, then you aren't going to feel comfortable. On the bright side, the kid isn't from the story you read about the lady eating the pungent fettuccine alfredo.
If they were that worried about their family, they would have honoured the aunts wishes to educate the daughter. The aunt was clearly an intelligent and resourceful woman who wanted to take care of the other women around her, and the way they spent that money was just beyond disrespectful
That last teacher isn't racist, in my opinion. Kimchi does have a pungent odor. I've never had it, but I know people who've eaten it before. Let the kid eat it, yes, but she's not racist.
@@miniman649 Good point. The whole lunch would smell horrid to sensitive noses, but the teacher isn't racist. Wrong, yes. Imagine if it were peanuts, someone was badly allergic, and OP refused to not give a peanut butter sandwich.
Story 5: NTA. Personally, I have autism and certain sounds and smells can overwhelm me really easily. Like relish, I can't stand the smell or taste of it, I have to leave if I catch a whiff of it. But, I can't just go up to the person who really likes relish and tell them they can no longer eat it, simply because I don't like the smell. That's not how the world works. If it's something a student or the teacher is allergic to, then I can understand why she wouldn't want the mom to pack it anymore. But, no, that isn't the reason, it's because the teacher just doesn't want the kid to have it for lunch anymore (maybe because of the smell?). NTA, the teacher is being ridiculous.
I had a Korean roommate in highschool. After study hall every night (~10pm) three of her friends would come in and make food in the bathroom we shared. yeah, FOOD IN THE BATHROOM. It would stink up the room so badly I would often have to go to my friends' rooms and sleep on their floor. Roommate and I were cordial, but it got to the point where I couldn't be in my own room a lot of the time, and when I talked to them about it they would give me dirty looks and ignore me (again while in my own room.) Most annoying part was that the dorm had a communal kitchen, so they had no reason to use the bathroom in the first place. Still irks me to this day. Point is, I don't think it's racist to be sensitive to more smelly foods. Kimchi is delicious, but that paired with blue cheese sounds like a very overpowering combo that a lot of people wouldn't be used to. I personally wouldn't want to eat my food while smelling someone else's, I'm sure kids don't either.
Story 1: Oh, OP's parents are the center of the universe, their needs are all that matter, and it's fine that they stole money intended for their daughter to attend college. Right.
I’m guessing you’re being sarcastic. Also I can be really petty. I would leave a trap for the father and brother. It would spring up a couple months later. In which whoever is standing there will get a rude awakening. I’m a guy…for now at least. So I know just where it would hurt the most.
On story 3: While "Pretty Privilege" does exist. It's not just professors giving higher grades to whatever students they find the most attractive, there seems to be a (usually subconscious) bias towards attractiveness in almost anything that requieres choosing or grading a group people. HOWEVER, instead of discussing it scientifically, objectively, they went full sexism mode and blamed OP as if she had done something to alter the scores. Even If you can demonstrate that there's a clear grading bias towards a particular attractive student, it would be the TEACHER'S fault as they are the ones being biased while grading. In most cases it can be assumed that "pretty privilege" is something completely out of the control of the one that has it. Sure some might realize it and act upon it (flirt with the teacher or worse). But if OP is merely doing the same as everyone else and getting a better result, then she hasn't done any wrong and it would be the teacher's grading process that must be questioned. Of course it could also be that OP is just a better student and producing better results, but her classmates never stopped to consider that.
@@Kingdo_RGT like the person bove said, not the a-hole Theres other acronyms too like YTA - Youre the A-Hole ESH - Everyone sucks here NAH - No A-Holes Here
*First OP:* I like how OP's family accuse her of putting money over family when her parents _stole_ from OP's and her sister's college fund. Her parents clearly care more about their money than them. OP is NTA, and I hope she convinced her sister to sue as well on principle. *Second OP:* Nvm, OP's boyfriend sees her as an ATM. OP is NTA, and she should consider getting her own apartment. *Third OP:* OP's classmates were harassing OP based on her gender, plain and simple. If Classmate C loses out on a scholarship, then it's his own fault, not OP's. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* If OP keeps up this attitude, then she'll likelylose contact with her son in the future. But hey, more water in the household! OP is TA. It's good that OP apologized to her son and his girlfriend. *Fifth OP:* OP should set up a meeting with the teacher and the principal, then ask the teacher which part of her son's lunch is "inappropriate" and "distracting." I doubt the teacher would fired, but I'd like to think she'd take mandatory sensitivity training as a result. OP is NTA.
Story 3: NTA. No wonder their exam results are sh*t if they can barely focus in the class, but no, apparently harrassing a student who has nothing to do with you is more important! Gotcha! THAT must be why you scored less.
Story 4, who in their right mind tries to take an obviously purchased container of water for just themselves when it's clear that it cost somebody money and it wasn't some little bottle of water??? No, OP absolutely had the right to get upset. It's the same as if she'd randomly waltz into the kitchen and make herself some food without sharing/contributing. The gf is 100% in the wrong. Don't touch anything that isn't yours and definitely don't just babysit the container as if it's meant just for you, especially if you didn't help pay for it. Common sense. Ask first.
Someone else commented that the bottle the girlfriend was filling was more or less half a gallon on its own too, which really doesn't help the gf's case
Bingo! That and the fact the GF scoffed and went to the son's room after being asked to leave. And is over laid up in OPs house all the time? OH HELL NAW!
When it comes to the "Disgusting lunches" I think that the kimchi might be the one that the teacher is refering to! Kimchi, while definitly delicious flavor-wise, can be a bit pungent aroma-wise, and if you´re not used to the smell it actually can be quite distracting. With that said the teacher still deserves a butthole score for being rude instead of diplomatic about it! Lastly: In my culinary culture (Swedish) we have some really smelly food (Surströmming and Lutfisk to name a couple) and no swedish parent would even dream of sending that stuff as packed lunches!
@@Corinari I feel like the teacher was rude maybe because she's been silent about it for a while and brought it up because she was annoyed. Still wish she was nicer about it.
@@Twinklethefox9022 I think she was trying to avoid singling out the cultural foods. We live in an environment where merely expressing displeasure at a food that comes from a non-white culture is screamed about as RACISM by politically programmed fools like rSlash that can't understand the difference between hating Korean people and not wanting to smell and eye-soak in pickled spicy cabbage and sriracha breath.
The main reason I come here is because R/slash gets just as outraged as I do over these posts. It makes me feel like I'm not crazier and a people hater. Also the rants are just 10/10! I never want these videos to stop!
Goat cheese,blue cheese ,kimchi, and sriracha…that is a smelly lunch!!! Not racist, just odor control! P.S. I love goat cheese,blue cheese,kimchi, and hot sauce.
Story 2- I can relate. When I moved into my first apt with my bf he insisted on paying what he could afford instead of splitting the bills evenly. He would just give me the money once a month and I'd take care of the bills. We made about the same but he decided after we moved in that he could only afford $300 a month because he needed to save money (for what, Idk). That $300 was to go towards rent, utilities, cable and any supplies needed like tp, cleaning stuff, his shampoo, rasors, ect. Yes, I had to go get his razors for him too. We did share in the cost of food pretty evenly though. He thought he should pay less than his share because we shared a bedroom. He said if he has his own room then he could see paying more. He thought he should only be responsible for 1/3 of the bills because I have a son and I get that but he didn't even pay the 1/3. He was saving a lot of money and would hide it in random places and then accuse me of stealing it till he found it again and said that I should be happy with the $300 because if he wasn't with me I'd be paying for it all so he saw it like a gift. He even tried to say that I was ripping him off at one point and that $300 was too much until I reminded him that was the amount He came up with. Needless to say, that relationship didn't end up working out but we lived together for years. I have no idea how much he saved in the time but I bet it was a lot. I, on the other hand, was always dead broke when I was with him since I was paying for most things. I ended up having more money after he left because I wasn't spending so much on him every month anymore. He even called me one time after he had moved out and complained about the cost of razors. He didn't realize how expensive they could be. I bet he discovered a lot of things cost more than he thought. Smh
When i used to work in office maintenance, we had a coworker make kimchi and take it from the kitchen to their office. It took a few days to realize it was the food and not a dead animal in the copier.
@@rapheAltoid77 the smell can be nauseating to some. I understand that. If it were to be other Korean food item which isn’t offensive to the nose, then I’d raise an eye brow.
It doesn’t matter if it’s pungent or not. This is America, people can eat whatever the hell they want by default. That teacher is a racist. Phoenixblade, do not defend the teacher.
Story 2, she should agree to split the expenses proportional to income, but only actual expenses. Stop paying him rent based on market rates and just kick in a proportional amount of the taxes, and other related expenses. Absolutely no reason to pay him rent AND split expenses... one or the other buddy.
Water situation: Instead of spending so much money on gallon bottles of water and doing this elaborate bowl, whatever nonsense, just buy a tapwater filter. It literally attaches to the sink itself and will remove whatever gives it the odd aftertaste. Then you don't have to be all uptight over water. Also, if you don't want your son's gf around all the time, you need to talk with him. Establish boundaries. Explain to him that you don't mind her visiting occasionally, but you also would like time at your home without guests around as well. Also the whole "I just don't think she is right for him" without explanation, nah you just insufferable.
Hey bud, thanks for making my truck driving job much more tolerable. I love my job regardless, but late at night listening to these stories make the trip so much faster and enjoyable keep it up!!!
Story 3: those “jokes” those guys were saying aren’t jokes that was blatant bullying, also if they loose out of their scholarships that’s their own fault as they’re the ones picking on someone like that. Also it’s not sexual harassment it’s just normal harassment which is still bad
In the last story, I can completely understand not wanting kimchi in a small enclosed area. My roommate is Korean, and sometimes makes strong smells like kimchi, and vegan Korean chili paste. It smells up the whole house, since it is very potent. I can only imagine having it in a small enclosed space like a classroom
On the first story I'd make a slight addendum to the ruling in that the brother gets 2.5 bad guys. Yeah, still a tool, still took the money and threw a fit about the contract but at least he bothered to approach her about giving her SOME money rather than everyone else in the family who've basically said "yeah, so?" He's like a shoplifter among looters, "at least I didn't break anything", I mean............I guess that makes you a little less bad?
I think what was grinding the mom's gears in the tiny house was the lack of privacy and the fact that she already stated her water costs an eyeball and rather than just get a glass of water and sip it when necessary the son's girlfriend felt entitled to fill up her giant water bottle with expensive water and brush off his mom's concerns when she's not paying for anything in the home. Guests need to stop treating a strangers house as their own. Yes she's the son's girlfriend but she is not a resident of the home and if the house is cramped and resources are tight then the last thing a person wants is another person shoved in close proximity to them. She should have just told the son the most time I want your girlfriend over here is 30 minutes to an hour at most and make sure she brings her own drink and food as our budget is super tight and I want to enjoy time alone in my house and eat and drink what I paid for. If the son wants to spend more time with the girlfriend there are plenty of places outside the house they can hang out at or they could go to the girlfriends house. Something tells me the girlfriends parents also don't want a stranger underfoot consuming their food and drink.
Story 1: you know who else didn’t “get her culture”? OP’s great aunt - that’s why she saved so much for OP and her sister and cousins in the first place!! Forget “airing dirty laundry”, what about disrespecting the explicit wishes of the dead? 🥴
My old French teacher, and school principal (in grade school) used to make daily health comments about my lunch. I never went hungry when I was a child, but we did sometimes run out of cold cuts and such for sandwiches, so I improvised a « snack sandwich » that I still make to this day. It’s mayo and canned paté, or mustard and canned paté, and I had a cake for dessert. They were made by Vachon, these are very popular in Québec, Canada. And I remember her telling me not to eat so many of these unhealthy cakes. THEY WERE DESSERT. It’s not like I was eating a huge bag of chips, a 2 litre bottle of soda, a bag of candy and other unhealthy things. We’re allowed to have a dessert already.
Kimchi has a very strong smell. I wouldn't bring it to work for lunch because of the smell. It's like don't bring fish to work and put it in the microwave
I really appreciate that you are quick to call out racism when you see it in stories you read, especially racism by teachers against students and workplace discrimination
If anyone want to do a study on the effect of too much Reddit done to a person Rslash videos would be perfect for it. I'm glad he took the vacation he needed, the few latest videos have been full of positive energy.
@dragonriderabens9761 I disagree. Especially on the last story. The water story had me split when I first heard it. Because yeah the gf needed to be respectful to the rules, but at the same time it was obvious that it wasn't just about the water. The last story might not be about race, but the teacher was Hella rude.
If OP considers 13K almost gone, then I would love to know how much money OP's parents actually stole from her because it sounds like at least 30-40k. And that's me being generous with the amount. NTA BTW
@@JHyde-tv3if oh it's just a CC that mainly prioritizes being the most cost effective in the area. There's another one about an hour away that's around 12k a year when you get room & board. I'm mainly online though because I need to work through college to just, survive, so I don't need room & board, making my tuition each semester total around 3.2k
Story 5. Kimchi does smell. I'm not saying it's not a racial thing for a teacher, but pretty understanding that you don't suppose to eat smelly foods in school/work
Let's say that I like eating kimchi and someone tells me to stop because they don't like the smell. I'm caucasian, does that make it a racial issue still? Also you forgot to mention blue cheese and goat cheeses which are pretty pungent as I've tried them, wet cheeses in general are. Those add up to the smell too
Spam is very popular in Korea! One of the most popular dishes in Korea is called “Army Stew” in English and has spam in it. They also sometimes put it in their kimbap (like sushi) rolls and stir fry with it too.
The brother's reaction to her wanting a legally binding contract for him to pay for her university is telling. He just wants OP to drop the lawsuit, and has zero intentions to pay a cent.
Sounds about right, asshat's the exact same as his parents, an entitled prick
Oh, totally. Someone throwing a hissy fit about contracts and whining about "trust" has become one of the biggest red flags in the world to me right now.
YEP! He thinks OP’s a dumbo and is trying to pull a fast one!
Yup. Only scammers get offended that you "won't trust them" when you suggest a legally binding contract that protects both parties.
It's like when a car thief steals your car and sells it then calls you and tells you he will return the car if you pay him 25K ..when you ask him to see your car " what you don't trust me"..
The moment "why are you airing the family's dirty laundry?" is said, I know who not to trust. There would be no dirty laundry in the first place if the family had behaved well from the beginning. Good, honest behavior has no need to worry about being put in the public eye where it can be properly judged.
Story 3 is crazy! The fact that there are men that'll harrass women then play the victim when they get told by a higher power to piss off is something that really makes me mad
Me too, but their in college, everyone does stupid stuff in college, we could give them a break, but I don’t think we should
I can see why they're doing less well on exams. They're stupid.
@@honzo9082 I completely understand where you are coming from, but excuses like college kids do stupid things just feeds sexism and harrassment. When I was in middle school I was sexually harrassed by boys everyday and all the teachers said was "boys will be boys".
Been making me mad for fifty years. Keep fighting it.
@@honzo9082 Come on "boys will be boys" at college/university age is not an excuse!
Story 2: Imagine owning a flat/condo, having her live with you, presumably having been invited to moving in, then still charging your gf half the *MARKET RATE* rent. He doesn’t pay any rent and wants you to pay rent, fucking insane.
THANK YOU! i scrolled for a good few minutes looking for someone else who would point out how actually disgusting the boyfriend is!
Also they UPDATE IT EVERY YEAR. Most places have a limit on how much rent can increase every year!
I could understand half the property taxes, but rent??? Nahhhh
My thoughts exactly. I can understand sharing the household expenses, but charging your girlfriend rent for living with you? WTF kind of planet does he live on?
Yeah if I were the apartment owner and my partner moved in I would just want to split the utilities, taxes, food ect. With me, but not charge them EXTRA expenses, that’s just shitty unless you’re really in dire need of the money for whatever reason
Here’s what OP had said in story 1 on the matter:
“The student law center at my university is helping me with everything. I have proof that the money was mine. I am trying to do everything I can so this does not become a criminal matter.”
The law center is kind enough to help out with this issue. While it’s a criminal matter no matter how much eggshells OP walks on, I do hope she gets that money back.
The brother used stolen money given to him by his parents. Doesn't that mean the brother received stolen property? If true, then he should be criminally charged as well.
@@jeremystone5946 I believe he might get into legal trouble for accomplice as well. I say this because he knew that the money was stolen, but probably didn’t care because “FrEe MoNeY”.
@@jeremystone5946 That only applies if he knew the money was stolen. We don't know if that's the case.
Like, if your boss stole some money and used it to pay your salary, you wouldn't be responsible for that because you had no idea it happened.
@@me-myself-i787 judging by the fact that now he DOES know that the money is stolen but refuses to side with OP is somewhat telling i’ll be honest. Now that would somewhat make him an accomplice especially since he now knows the money was stolen
@@noranizaazmi6523 Cleary he is the golden child so to speak. It cracks me up that family is telling OP to not put money before family when as the narrator pointed out, that's what Op's family did. Did her brother think of his sister (ie his family) when he took that money for her college for his wedding? Nope! I have similar situations involving my mom and sister where they would lecture me on thinking of the family and then I would counter with stories where they didn't think of me.
Story 3: NTA this woman is being harassed in class because boys are picking on her due to her gender, if the boy looses his scholarship it’s on him for being a sexist weirdo and trying to state it’s a joke. It’s downright harassment and bullying because they are trying to make this woman feel bad for being a woman and basically make her quit the program
It's yet another case of a harasser crying playing the victim card when they have to face the consequences of their actions. It's how you can tell they're really just a bunch of insecure fools who can't be bothered to deal with their problems in a healthier way! It's both sad and annoying to see.
It's only a "silly joke" AFTER they get called out on their BS. It's never just a joke beforehand, but as soon as they get caught being gross, toxic, sexist, etc., they go to the victim and say, "Hey, why'd you have to go and tell on us for bullying and harassing you? Can't you take a joke!?"
Story 3: As a woman, NTA. Harrassment isn't a joke. I have dealt with this type of sexism so many times, and OP is so lucky that they took her seriously because usually people don't.
And it sounds like she will need to continue the reports since they are still performing their stunts
I’m so glad the superiors are actually listening to her. People complain woman aren’t present in certain industries when the men on said industries are literally the reason women can’t progress on those careers, so happy her actions may end up with less assholes on the course, or help them to realize they are being assholes in the first place.
No is a complete sentence. And too many people don't take it seriously.
Even if you're not a woman, harassment still isn't a joke. I wish people would stop harrassing others. Def glad something came of it, but more clearly needs to be done-"went too far" my ass.
If only people didn’t commonly overblow or lie about situations to cause people to believe less than normal.
But indeed, harassment should be taken seriously. The problem is lots of people claim ‘harassment’ when it’s actually nothing.
Last Story: I might have to disagree with the last post as Kimchi and bleu cheese can have a rather pungent odor to those sensitive or unfamiliar with the odor they give off. I love both, don’t get me wrong! But as many have said, OP literally has fermented cabbage, blue cheese, AND spicy Cheetos in a container sitting for more than an hour which is basically a ticking time bomb. Growing up, my school didn’t have a cafeteria, we basically ate in our home room. Basically anyone who ate a ham sandwich, “Lunchables”, or peeled an orange, would be smelling that ALL DAMN DAY. Also most schools (that I know of) won’t let you use the teacher lounge/Cafeteria refrigerator or microwave. I would save that particular lunch as a snack for when the kiddo gets home and plan a new lunch together.
HOWEVER, I will give the teacher a big butthole score for not handling the situation like a professional/adult. Calling the food “inappropriate” and throwing a hissy fit is a REALLY poor choice of words/actions (which some have said could easily be misinterpreted as offensive or a cultural attack) owes OP (and the kid if she snapped at him in public) a huge apology.
I love me some bleu cheese, but can't say I've ever clocked it as particularly smelly...
I did a fermented foods project with my students when teaching life science years ago and one young man did his on Kimchi and I just remember being so proud of his presentation, but begging him to not open the jar.
Having had coworkers bring "stinky" food to work, and microwaving it, it gets the funk all through the entire floor. We had to institute a rule against bringing really stinky food to work. The kitchenette was centered in the floor, so the smell permeated everything. It's not a racial issue, ALL cultures have stinky food. Easy to choose something else.
Plus, we're not even told what the teacher's race is or if it's different than the poster or their child. This reeks of white savior complex.
@@lancerevell5979 but you don’t call that food “disgusting” or “inappropriate.” THAT’S when it starts to cross the lines into racist territory. You discuss it like an adult and not a child.
@@bridi0821 Kimchi could well be considered an 'inappropriate' food choice for consumption in an enclosed space or lunch room/classroom where the stench hangs around.
Story 1: This is straight up theft, plain and simple. Just because they are "faAaAaMiLy" doesn't mean they shouldn't face the consequences. It's not a "family business", it's f*cking THEFT. And the brother didn't even ask who's money the parents used to pay for his wedding, so he is just as wrong in this situation. Even had the gall to call OP the AH for not trusting him. I mean, if he didn't bother asking who's money the parents used, why should OP trust him anyway? NTA.
It's a felony. In the US and European countries. I would have filed criminal charges. It was an illegal theft that was set for OP in her name.
I would have sued them and then filed criminal charges.
Also, I don't know where OP is, but I don't know a single culture anywhere in the world that condones stealing from your own children. They are mad because they got caught, and I feel the reason the rest of the family is pushing this whole bs is because they are thinking only about their reputation (specially with the whole 'airing private family business in public bit);
They got caught, and are angry because if anyone else knows about the lawsuit and the reason, no matter OP's country culture, they will be shunned for being disgusting thieves. Also I feel the brother knew very well it was OP's money, and like other comments pointed he just want the lawsuit to go away, and don't plan to repay OP a single cent;
Also, depending on how much it was on the account, they may very well have used the money to pay more stuff to themselves and OP's brother than just his wedding (and of course none of it was remotely to OP).
Them being family almost makes it EVEN WORSE than if they were not. If my own family betrayed me that would fill me with even more hate than if a stranger did it. A family is supposed to love, protect, and nurture a person and thus is or should be held to an EVEN HIGHER standard. The "but we are family" is a mitigating factor in the OTHER direction meaning what they did is EVEN WORSE.
if the parents didn't want to be embarrassed and shamed for stealing money, then maybe they shouldn't have stolen the money lmfao
@@shycherrygirl They are treating the daughter like SHE is the embarrassment to the family rather than WHAT THEY DID TO HER was the embarrassment. They are making the VICTIM of their exploitation the VILLAIN.
Story 3: IF HE DIDNT WANT TO LOSE HIS SCHOLARSHIP HE SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL PIECE OF S***!!!! NTA OP. They deserve it.
Story 3: I was an ugly girl in college-- no money, always running on a few hours of sleep, no makeup, always working 40-60 hours a week to pay rent/buy books/live. -- I once had a professor that graded papers through false names because she was challenged by another student who said she was biased. Amazingly, my grades shot up! Another professor in college did his grades and always had them posted, using a strict non-biased mathematical calculation -- and I had the highest grade in the class! Before this, in high school, I also had the highest grade in chemistry because the teacher did the same thing -- all graded mathematically, no curve, no extra credit, everything posted. --- I struggled during school -- poor, sleep deprived, little time for effort into my appearance. In high school, I had all that and I was being abused. So yes, some professors and teachers are biased -- but it could be all different things -- some prefer male students, some prefer athletic students, some prefer pretty female students -- it's not pretty privilege, it's the individual professor or teacher and their grading methods -- every teacher or professor should post grades and grade in a non-biased way.
One of my high school teachers gave us randomized numbers for us to put down in place of our name. I support it.
If you say yes some do, then yes it's exactly pretty privilege.
In one class, in middle school I think, grade were posted on a cabinet door, randomized. Instead of names it was our 6 digit ID/lunch number
Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're going to have to work.
It is still pretty privilege. You outright admit prettier students get better grades because of favouritism from staff, which is pretty privilege
Last story: smell is a STRONG trigger for people. Considering the ingredients in the snacks, they definitely have a strong odor. I used to like the smell of pine but it recently began making me feel physically ill (40's Male, definitely not preggo.) OP needs to talk further; from the tone of the writing I wouldn't jump straight to racism, teacher might be recently pregnant and the smells could be triggering.
Or it might be someone that has a sensitivity to the more strong odors.
Ya, but saying "disgusting lunches" was the red flag part. She is speaking to a student's parent with contempt. That isn't professional and she is being unreasonable.
@@dudeorduuude5211 exactly. THAT’S what’s making me think it’s a race thing. Otherwise she probably wouldn’t have been so incredibly rude about it.
@@dudeorduuude5211 or it’s just the fact that kimchi literally smells like 3 week old bottled farts and is in fact kind of disgusting. Delicious but disgusting.
@@dudeorduuude5211Bleu cheese smells like straight up rotten feet! That paired with kimchi, spicy, and spam sounds bananas pungent. That poor woman's eyes were probably burning after that combo marinated in her room😅but she should have kept it classy/professional
Story 1: NTA! Go through with the lawsuit, and go NC with your family. "But we're family!" BS! Toxic is toxic. They value your brother more than they do you and your sister. That speaks volumes!
It's more like they value the men in the family as they shunned the aunt for being a strong independent individual who doesn't need a man to provide or take care of her.
They view women was the usual sexist stereotype, baby makers, chef, cleaners, weak, etc. Since the men in their family are highly values because of gender, they take from the females what they don't need in their opinion.
Op should sue the family. They literally stole money from her. It was never theirs to take, it wasn't ment for the brother at all, it was clearly set up for the females to do whatever they please with it. Since it was used for a wedding, and weddings costs thousands of dollars, 5 to 6 figures they should be ready to pay u. Family don't mean shet til you steal from them.
@@zerofate9669 Said it better than most, my friend :)
But we're FAMBLY!!
When they say "but we're family" just say "family don't steal from family"
@James King family should steal from each other period, it breaks trusts in those who they steal from. They knew downright that money was never theirs, yet they didn't think they get sued by family.
Story 3: so the r/niceguys got mad that they were called out on their bs and had to face the consequences of their actions? Yeah I don’t see them lasting long in any good jobs due to them feeling that it’s okay to harass and make sexual and demeaning comments about a woman because she’s better that them.
Story 1: it's funny how your family's argument is your airing out private matters when the only way any of them could know you're suing is it your parent told everyone they know. They had no business taking your money, love loan for their son's wedding. A good sign that you're going to win at the fact they're trying so hard to get you the drop the lawsuit.
Sue them to the max, get your money back, then go no contact with them. They are toxic.
For the water story I have a question? If the girlfriend’s water bottle can carry enough water to last a person the whole day why didn’t she come over with it already filled? Why try to fill up your water bottle in a house where you were told not to use to much of due to their situation with their own tape water and the cost to use the gallon water? It’s good that the issue was resolved and both sides apologized but there had to be more to this situation with the girlfriend and the water is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I've brought empty bottles with me too and filled them up where I am because they get too heavy to carry. And it's not like she was wasting the water or even used up all the water. Op didn't say she used up all the water they had. She's just a control freak and a bully in my opinion. If she was filling her water bottle and dhmping it on the floor than yea he can have a problem with that. But she was thirsty and wanted to fill her water bottle. That's not a crime to do so 😂 ND honestly if he doesn't have enough water to fill 1 water bottle he's a shit father who's not providing the nessicities to raise kids and has only himself to blame 🤷♀️ also he's a jackass simply for calling her a brat for literally just filling up a water bottle 😂😂😂 the only brat in this situation was op
Yeah, I thought Rslash was a little bit off on this story - to me it's more of an ESH situation. Yes, OP was passive-aggressive, and she should have handled it better. Obviously, she doesn't like having the girl over all the time, which is totally understandable. But she should talk to her son about that, i.e. "I think there should be limitations on how often you entertain guests here," etc.
That said, gf had no business getting huffy about the water. She should have explained herself nicely with an apology, i.e. "Sorry, I was filling my bottle for the day, but I'll be more careful." She's a guest in OP's home. Also, it wouldn't kill her to get a water refill for everyone once in a while; a good guest would do that.
@@SilverGhxstOP's family is made up of 5 people, the gf not included. She buys gallon bottles of water, which isn't that much when you're talking about 5 people. I'm assuming the gf isn't homeless, so she can most definitely fill her bottle up elsewhere. If she's using one of those large water bottles to keep hydrated all day, that could easily be 32 ounces to 64 ounces, that's 1/4 to 1/2 a gallon just for her. That's pretty selfish and annoying, especially if you've been told how the water situation works in someone else's house. Because that's the biggest factor, it's someone else's house, so she doesn't have the right to do as she pleases. OP's reaction may have been mean, but I think most people would be pissed if someone that isn't family is using up resources.
@lalisasmr so like I said op is failing at being a father simple as that. My family is a family of 5 too. And guess what? We have plenty of clean drinking water for everyone even or guests. And even if our guests do something to piss us off we don't throw a giant hissy fit like this giant man toddler did. 🤷♀️ he could have handled it in a better way too especially since ya know he's the adult. Doesn't matter what she did doesn't justify kicking her out like a jackass and calling her a brat bc your in a pissy mood. That's abusive and toxic. Wonder what slangs he throws at his own children 🤔 if he calls his sons girlfriend a brat he probably calls he sons vile names too.
if they live in the same town she may have the same issue with her tap water at home
4. Honestly I can relate to being annoyed by people being over at your house all the time. I remember one neighbor being around all the time as a kid and it just grates on you, especially if you find them annoying. So the water is a relatively minor thing but probably built up over a long time and snapped.
The water thing does seem pretty inconsiderate to me tho tbh. I know what it's like to have to buy drinking water and it gets EXPENSIVE. Plus if they're only using the jugs which cost alot? Yeah no thanks. She could be filling it up then dumping it later on because, "its warm!" Or "Its stale from sitting so long!". I can understand why OP got annoyed because if they only have 1 gallon of water for the family and the girlfriend comes daily and uses 64 oz, it'll add up fast. She shouldn't of been so rude about it but the GF should be more considerate
OP updates and mentions that the GF isn't around all the time, but has been around a bit more on the past six months since getting a licence.
OP admits that she's been rude to this girl for the entirety of the three year relationship. So while this girl was 16/17 years old, OP was being rude, passive aggressive, and ugly. Moreover, when you consider the GF's lack of ability to get around on her own, the son was likely seeing her at special occasions and OP was being cold and rude to this girl during those as well, hers or his.
The GF even says in her apology that she gets defensive because OP is mean to her all the time anyway, so it guided her reaction.
The GF now brings her own water, without OP having prompted it because a civil conversation is all it would have taken.
@@queencars802 Um, the GF could also be more polite, not explain to OP that she takes all her drinking water for the day from the jug OP pays for and go to the son's room in a huff when she's told to go away. I would NEVER have dared do that in my MIL's house when I was married to her son, being family and not a mere GF. How rude is that girl ?
@@MdMzzz She's not. OP admits off the top that GF is actually really nice and OP simply doesn't like her despite that and she doesn't like her _for her son._ OP has nothing but complimentary things to say up until the single incident in question. How is that the girl being rude? OP admits that she herself is the rude one indirectly in her post and directly in her full update.
GF finally hit the end of her tether being snapped at over a rule she didn't know she was breaking.
@@slytherinlibrarian3501 Hm. So, if someone is constantly mean to you, you choose to be at their house often, and when they passive-aggressively try to tell you not to mooch off them, you go to the BF's room in a huff ? And you don't leave when told to ? I don't think so. She can spend as much time as she wants with her BF at HER house, if OP is so mean to her. The GF is not telling the whole truth in her "apology",
I hate how men in male dominated fields treat women. I took woodshop in high school and was the one "female". My male teacher was very protective of us because he wanted to see more women in his classes.
I took wood shop in high school too! I was the only girl in the class as well! Way out of my comfort zone! Thankfully my teacher took me under his wind and helped me through my projects. I also believe he was keeping the guys from giving me a hard time for being the only girl!
Last story: I'm a brit and once took a spam butty to school and the whole class complained when I was eating it in class. So I will say its not necessarily racism towards food considering Kimchi is fermented cabbage and raddish so I imagine it's quite pungent. Just putting it out there.
I’m a Korean living in the UK and have been for 21 odd years. I can vouch that Korean food can be pungent. Go to New Malden if you want to try some good Korean food though
I eat kimchi, it is not my ethnic food, I did not grow up with it. It's not strong smelling unless you're shoving your face in some ones food, what scent it does have is just Korean chili sauce.
food also have a race, it's a very delicate topic but you should know if you have a gag reflex after encountering some food, and god forbids some certain group likes that food - you are a racist even worse than Trump and Hitler
I'm thinking the teacher was trying to be polite and not tell OP "Your lunches smell like crap, man!! Knock it off!"
@@RiveroftheWither I have to disagree. It is _extremely_ strong and foul smelling. It's not my food culture either, but one side of my family is Korean so I've been around both fresh and store-bought varieties. The ones sold in the store are more "Westernized" and don't carry such a strong odour. The ones sold in the "ethnic" stores are pretty bad when it comes to odour and have seasonings so heavy you can taste them with your nose. The ones my Aunt makes fresh, like she did in Korea, are WMDs. Pop the top and it can clear a house.
Story 2 - I think it's messed up that she has to pay him rent in a place he fully owns. She literally paying him for the privilege of dating him. Utilities and shared expenses I get but he's just pocketing her money? And now he wants more? That's messed up! Either sign a lease, or live separately at this point.
I don’t think OP paying rent is really an issue, as long as BF acts like a proper landlord and handles all pest control, maintenance, home insurance, and taxes (what rent is supposed to cover). But, anything beyond 50/50 for any other utilities or expenses, and especially if BF is having OP pay rent AND 50/50 on taxes, maintenance, pest control, and insurance… then he wants a mommy to live off of and definitely not a good partner.
The last story:
One important note is that Kimchi smells very strongly. It's made from fermented vegetables and it's not unreasonable (or necessarily racist) for people to complain about that smell because it's definitely not for everyone. That post had a bunch of Koreans in the comment saying that OP was the asshole because of how strong Kimchi smells and that they would never let their kids bring it to school as lunch.
Most non-Koreans in the comment didn't seen to know what Kimchi was and all just assumed it was a race thing. I am not Korean, but I have smelled Kimchi and it's definitely not for me. I wouldn't even be able to sit next to someone eating it.
I am not saying it's definitely not a race thing. But it might be a legitimate complaint.
Exactly. I’m Korean and I don’t find this racist
i agree with Rslash as I do see it as racist. But it doesn't matter, there are all sorts of food where someone may not like the smell of. Fish, for one. Part of learning to live in the world, is dealing with other people. It can be at work, at school, in a park...etc,etc. But you will not be able to run around telling people to not eat this or that, because you object. You go out in public, you have to deal with the public. Otherwise find a job that you can do at home.
@@MementoMori395 two people can be wrong at the same time.
@@MementoMori395 you absolutely can.
Spoken like a person who has never smelled surströmming.
@@MementoMori395 isnt being considerate of the people around you also a part of life?
Rslash I’m gonna have to disagree on the last story, kimchi is pretty pungent and that combined with bleu cheese and siracha soaked Doritos *(all of which most likely have been sitting inside some sort of container for more than an hour)* makes for probably the smelliest packed lunch you could make. Basically I don’t think it’s fair to immediately jump to the assumption that the teacher is being racist given how the possible smell could irritate everyone around the kid.
I'm unfamiliar with siracha myself. But at least in my office neither blue cheese or kimchi are acceptable to bring. Their smell is just too strong and lingers for too long. Altho, in summer some people do bring kimchi but it's no issue it as we eat lunch outdoors then. Haven't seen anyone try and bring blue cheese during summer.
Then why didn’t the teacher ask them to send something without a strong smell rather than to stop sending “inappropriate lunches”? Either the teacher is really not good at wording requests, or they are purposely avoiding saying outright what they dislike about the lunch, which is very suspicious.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Kimchi has some STANK man
@@lilliematthews7922 I’m gonna go with the teacher being terrible at explaining the issue and that they have a problem with the smell and not with what culture it came from, because it’s more realistic to assume she doesn’t enjoy the smell from the obviously pungent food compared to assuming she’s racist with no evidence
Teachers request was completely reasonable the way about making said request was a little extreme
Story 2: this feels like a sneaky way of him to live off you, he has you paying rent and half of the utilities, which by the way I'm a 100% sure he's using your rent money to cover his half. Either that or spending money, now he wants more, this feels like a clever way to get you to fund his lifestyle, now he wants you to pay even more? OP you really need to ask yourself in this the kind of relationship you want.
I agree. 50/50 usage of utilities and groceries means 50/50 funding. And I think rslash has a point too regarding the bf probably not including rent into his “income”. I could easily see bf “losing” any job he might have if OP agrees, or suddenly having a bunch of extra material possessions or outings. If OP moves out… I imagine the relationship would end because BF seems to want a mom and not an equal partner.
For story 4, there’s also some (in my opinion) important context in OP’s update: OP’s son has been with the GF for *THREE YEARS,* and the GF had only been visiting the son at their house for the last few months.
And OP admitted she was cold to her for the entire relationship basically because she ‘never thought she was right for her son.’
Yep. She was being rude to a child as the GF was likely 16/17 when they began dating, her son probably only saw her infrequently and when he did, OP was rude. OP on the other hand has nothing but complimentary things to say up until the water incident.
I think op was the asshole, but the gf doesn't make much sense to me. If the waterbottle is enough for how much you need in a day then why doesn't she fill it before she gets there?
@@solmas2111 We'll never know. She could have expressed concern to the son and he said don't worry, she could have had it filled and drank it all before she gets there and was refilling, we don't know in part because OP refuses(d) to speak to her civilly by her own admission in the update.
@@slytherinlibrarian3501 Exactly. And another thing they mentioned in the update is that they’re looking into the cost of a Brita pitcher… Let that sink in.
Okay, so you don’t like the taste of your tap water, so you spend who-knows-how-much-total over X amount of time to have water delivered, yet it never once crossed your mind to *GET A FLIPPING BRITA FILTER!?* BRILLIANT!
@@slytherinlibrarian3501 In that case the gf could have said that instead of being disrespectful. A simple "BF said it was okay, I didn't mean to do something wrong, I'm sorry."
Regarding the last story, it is not uncommon to have school administration requested. Students not bring peanut butter or peanut products to school because somebody in the class has an allergic reaction to it. My office and most offices, I’m aware of, have a similar policy of not having strong, smelling food, or wearing perfume for that matter… This is like entitlement versus entitlement in my opinion. Sometimes you just should be thoughtful of other people, and those are very strong odors and if I do not think for most people, it is unreasonable to ask not to send that to lunch to school or to work…. She’s super selfish in my opinion just because her kid likes that that she’s willing to make everybody else miserable with the stench of it… Because for people with the fine gauge sense of smell, it’s pretty intense
If the teacher said, “Other students are bothered by the smell. Can you please send something else?” that would be a totally reasonable request. A rude and vague demand about stopping “inappropriate” and “distracting” lunches comes across very differently, at least in my opinion.
@@lilliematthews7922 yeah. The teacher could have been more tactful
@Lillie Matthews it seems like both the teacher and OP are in the wrong here. Teacher for not being clear about tye issue and OP for not being considerate of the other students.
@@threecards333but it's just food. I'll never understand. Students can wear strong deodorant (or none at all!) And perfumes and smelly creams but can't wat food they love. So stupid
I remember I got kicked out of class for wearing perfume because my teacher couldn't handle it. My grandma was angry because I think it was turning into fall so I had to wait outside (it was a green house) my only thing is that I wish she would have told me sooner. And the perfume I wear now is lighter.
Story 3: ugh... as always, when people get caught in their BS, they try to worm their way out of trouble by pulling "it's just a prank, bro" or "it's just a silly joke" cards...
Screw them. They don't deserve a scholarship. They don't deserve good employment. They don't deserve a future.
accusing someone of cheating is not a joke. That could get OP in serious trouble. Report it. The are jeopardizing her future and scholarships.
Story two makes no sense to me. Just because op makes more money doesn't mean their partner suddenly uses less utilities. There's two people, everything gets split two ways. Either that, or put all the money in one account if you're comfortable with that.
also when the boyfriend was making more, why didnt he pay more? theres no way they were making the exact same amount after tax. someone had to be making more than the other even if the difference was small. this is not just a matter of the boyfriend seeing the girl as a tenant, but also entitlement and jealousy
Expenses split proportional to income generally makes sense when a 50-50 would unreasonably burden one partner. In the US, housing and/or childcare usually inflate with income,and are often the dominant factor(s) in determining the cost of living. This means that if there's a significant income gap the poorer partner will likely be run through the meat grinder regardless of their initial on housing options or their labor contributions to household operations (ie. unless we're going to go through with the effort of calculating of monetary value of cleaning and childcare, the partner who works 25 hours a week in a lower paying job while doing everything else around the house they probably outta get a break).
IMO splitting rent proportional to income only makes sense when one person cannot afford their half of monthly expenses & the other is willing to pay extra to support their lifestyle.
My ex offered this deal to me when she kept looking at apartments I couldn't afford & I only agreed to it as long as we went back to 50/50 once I got a better paying job
About the “teasing” and pretty privilege: what was the end game for implying her academic dishonesty? Obviously not to help her! It was to get her in trouble and maybe booted from the program. It’s bullying, not a joke, because she’s not laughing. That guy is getting his just desserts.
Edit: About the lunches: I’d be hesitant to jump on the “it’s racist” wagon. Bleu cheese and goat cheese can be stinky and potentially distracting too. So could a tuna salad sandwich. In a small space it could lead to an issue especially if someone has a sensitivity to certain scents.
If that’s the case, the teacher could word things differently and say it nicer for sure. But the parent isn’t being a bad guy for feeding their kid. They’re making a lunch they know will be appreciated and eaten.
I’d have a meeting with her and the principal. If there’s no good reason for a message from the teacher like that, then pursue it.
Kimchi smells like rotten tuna btw.
So the "racist" remark doesn't apply.
@@MalekitGJ To me it smells fermented and sour, kind of like sauerkraut. It’s not bad to me, but I can see how it might offend others. Sauerkraut is worse to me.
From my own experience, a lot of perfumes and air fresheners can trigger asthma or migraines, especially in a closed-in area with no ventilation, and the scent of lilacs is the most disgusting thing ever to me. Popcorn too.
If the smell of the kimchi (or other foods, alone or in combination - and some of that food is stinky regardless of where it came from) is creating a disturbance, the teacher could have addressed it better especially since this seems like the first time it was broached.
“Something in your child’s lunch smells unpleasant and its creating an issue in class. If possible, can we try substituting one item each day until we find what the source(s) might be?” Polite and solution oriented. It also might help the kid and parent out by discovering other viable lunchtime options.
@@davidrubino8316 plz remember that this was posted from OP's side of view, so assume many things are being omitted for the sake of OPs argument.
@@MalekitGJ I am. It could also be a troll post. But, at face value (and being a teacher myself), teacher could handle things better and mom could work with the teacher on this. Yes, your kid needs to eat but unless there is a medical concern they can mix it up.
I’m maaaaainly concerned with RSlash calling it racism right out of the gate.
I know some people who can’t stand cheese smells. I know some people who can’t stand fermented/pickled smells like kimchi or sriracha. It could be the combination. Kimchi alone or cheese alone is tolerable. Vinegary cheese…. Maybe not so much.
I think there's too little info in the note and I think that's contributing to the the possibly racist part. Because, having grown up in the US, people have no problems calling out blue cheese. In fact, it's a trope that you literally see in Tom and Jerry cartoons. It's a reflex to write down "Please don't bring bleu cheese to school". But the fact she didn't tells me that that's not the thing she wants gotten rid of. It may be what's offending her, but that's not what she wants gotten rid of. Like, did you ever get that manager or boss that just accuses you of doing something bad but won't tell you what it is? Because the thing that's bad isn't really the issue? That's what this sounds like.
Though it could just be she didn't think while she was writing. But that will be cleared up when OP talks to the principal. Though it does seem odd that a person, whose entire job is to instruct and educate children, didn't write clear instructions.
With that said, in middle school, I was told to leave my lunch outside the class room because it smelled too much. My lunch was handmade (by me) dumplings. The filling was pork, minced ginger, green onions, chives, egg, a little bit of soy sauce, vinegar, sesame oil and tapioca flour. The same dumplings got no complaints when I brought it to other classrooms and several different workplaces throughout my life. So yeah, I can see why rSlash jumped to racism. Like US Americans keep telling me about racial stereotypes while I was growing up, where there's smoke, there's fire.
Story 2: There's certainly the 'proportional income' argument. But. I'd ask him to back-pay you the difference from before your new job. Since, if he's arguing it's "only fair" then he's also admitting that he has up to that point been unfair to you. So. He should make it right so that you can both move forward.
i can see your point however we dont know what the payment situation was before that,
if before the new job he made more then her then yes that would certainly be a valid point, however if before the new job she allready made more then him would you say she should pay HIM back?
@@vhaelen326 True, I was assuming he was earning more prior to the new job. I suppose the bigger issue is OP doesn't indicate that her 'rent' is based on his bills but rather 'rent in the area' which is likely significantly more.
@@MyDirtyHobo I'm 95% sure Op was paying rent for an equivalent unit in the building, which bf dutifully inflated with the rest of the building.
last story: as a preschool teacher i wanna state that when kids come to school with food which has a strong smell it could cause a lot of problems specially with the lunch room size. i dont know about the one in the story but when its a small lunch room it could become stinky and hard to for the other kids to bear the smell
Story 1: NTA, on site, no story needed
Agreed. The family is the one who put money before family. I can't imagine putting a pretty pretty princess/prince for a day party (the wedding) over education.
I mean nothing needed after realizing it was her own money
Story 1:
It's probably also grand larceny.
They could easily face jail time.
Story 1: Gotta love the brother “how dare you not just blindly believe me? You’re an a**hole for that”
…dude you STOLE her inheritance for your wedding…of COURSE she doesn’t trust you.
Op you did nothing wrong, get that money girl!!
Story 1 nta I heard this one before. As soon as you drop the lawsuit he will back out of paying you. Go threw with it. You owe them nothing.
They are the only ones who owe anything. Not only have they stolen from OP and her sister, they likely stole from other female relatives waiting for the funds.
Blue cheese and kimchi have a very strong smell to them. I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask a parent not to pack these foods for their child as the smell can linger for a while and it can definitely be distracting.
Somehow someone got the entire class to smell like industrial cheese
This dured 3 whole days (if i remember correctly someone vomited because of the smell)
The lession here is dont bring chese to school
I can definetly understand that, but the way that the teacher approached the entire situation was incredibly unprofessional and disrespectful
“They guy could lose his scholarship.”
“So could I if he keeps falsely accusing me of cheating.”
Story 4: NTA. This doesn’t sound like a one off situation, but definitely IS compounded by the mother’s dislike for the girlfriend, which doesn’t inherently make OP an asshole.
Think for a moment Dabney, a vital and limited resource is being used up in your house, and it’s a hassle to replace. Someone you don’t particularly like makes use of this resource in excess, and pours “all the water they need for a day” at once, instead of drinking the water as needed. When you comment on that, they in turn act short with you and switch up tones.
Because it’s your house, you ask them to leave, and that person SCOFFS at you, ignores the request, and then breezes away…
Something tells me Dabney, when your child starts dating, or bringing friends over, you’re not going to let that fly either, especially if you’re not a fan of them to begin with.
Right? If she took tap water this might be a different story, but if water is really so hard to come by and I saw someone taking so much for themselves, I’d be angry too!
It’d be like going to a friend’s house, opening the fridge and making yourselves several sandwiches to eat later and without even asking if it was okay!
@@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339 I agree with that sentiment, too.
Due to everyone being aware of the limited water as well, makes it appear as if the girlfriend was intentionally hoarding water in the event it does run out while she’s there, since she won’t be bothered to replace it for the entire household, but understands the inconvenience of going without.
Regardless of the happy outcome of this story with OP’s update, I would be creating boundaries for the amount of time the girlfriend can stay at the house. If her son is still a teenager, or in high school, it’s inappropriate for him to have essentially a live-in girlfriend, especially one that doesn’t contribute to the household in anyway.
If her son is a young adult, say in college, then those same boundaries would still also apply, especially if neither the son, nor the girlfriend contribute, and are essentially still dependents.
@@3scotto her son is 20
Also, why the hell are you filling up your water bottle with water for the entire day at SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE? Why not just do it at your own house (especially when replenishing that water is a hassle for the people your taking it from).
@@3scotto I agree. Having someone over sometimes is nice, but it'd bother me too if I had a guest all the time - and then someone who's treating me so rudely after using my resources. I guess there is already some history between (at least) OP and gf that we don't know, because to me it sounds like there was already tension there before this interaction.
Story 3: NTA this is not about scholarship this is about a group of guys and their fragile male ego because a woman is better than them.
And an attractive woman at that. They likely thought "oh, we have an advantage on her because she pretty (so never had to work hard) and a woman (so incapable of being smart and hard working)", then realized she bested them on both fronts, so what excuse do they have left? It's the "adult" equivalent of "oooohhhh!! You were beat up by A GIRL!".
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan the girl is pretty AND hard working?? Noooo! Everything I know about women is a lieeee
Most scholarships have clauses for good personal and academic standing ( 3.0 GBA, no misconduct, etc) and being a sexist pig that harasses other students is/ should be a disqualifier for any scholarship!
Oh god, found the social justice weirdo. Women don't like male feminists. Grow up.
@@natkatmac lol! I wish I had a witty quip to add to an evil laugh, but I'm too sleepy for that at the moment. Let's just pretend I added one, followed by an uproarious "muahahahahahahahaha!", k?
I hate people who think they can do things to their family and when their consequences come back to bite them they try to use the family card to avoid responsibility.
1st story, NTA x1000
I think the biggest thing to consider in the water story is the fact that this girl brought this big water bottle but didn't bring it over filled.
Seems like she intentionally is trying to get this good bottled water, which OP is right to get upset about.
Agreed! Plus its super inconsiderate that she's doing this knowing they have to buy the gallon jugs. If it's the water bottle I'm thinking of it's probably 64 oz, that's half a gallon on just her. I have to buy water and it gets expensive fast. I feel like theres alot more to the story, they clearly dont get along or like each other.
Unless she brought it over on a different day and left it there. But it really wasn't about the water.
@@queencars802 the mother said she dislikes the girlfriend, but she is vocal about it and it really seems like the gf is trying to piss her off, she's a guest but behaving like a spoiled brat in my opinion. If I don't like someone and they keep using things I pay for all the time after saying multiple times not to use it, they would wish I was as calm as that mother, she only said it, with me she would have felt it.
If you steal money from strangers u go to jail, not only should u sue them for the money, but also get them arrested for it.
They basically said that your future isn't as important as your brothers party.
The last story. I don't think it IS racism to request a more appropriate lunch for the kid. It does however, depends on the demographic of the class. I will say I love kimchi with a bowl of rice but I can admit some kimchi (depending on how fermented it is) can have a strong smell and I believe that's what the problem is. The other kids may not have experience with it and find it disgusting. Just like my bf and I. He's Taiwanese and I'm mexican (American born). There's a dish that he loves which is called smelly tofu (fermented tofu) to me it smells like burning diapers but to him he loves it. I tried it, it's just not for me.
Used to work at a Korean based company where all the management were brought in from SK. Everyone knew to stay away from the office area while they were eating. It always smelled like someone died. I know pungent food can be good but man when it makes your eyes water it's a bit much to expect to eat it around other people. It would be like calling it racist to get mad when someone microwaves fish at work.
OP should write to find out what should be "appropriate" for a child's lunch to make sure the teacher isn't acting out of racism.
I think it might also be the blue cheese. Depending on what kind, it could be a real odor bomb. Like gorgonzola is very mild in the odor, while roquefort, apparently, is quite awful (never had it myself, just what i heard from friends). Could really just be the smelly food
Yeah, I agree that without further info on what is "appropriate" food, this could very easily be a smell issue
The teacher did say it was specifically the odor, and most instances of kimchi I’ve been exposed to are pretty damn potent. There’s also the blue and goat cheeses.. I wouldn’t say she’s being racist, but for a little kid those things are very out of the ordinary in America, so I can see her point.
With the last story I can kinda understand not wanting to have Kimchi constantly brought into the classroom. If you’re not used to fermented food it could smell awful to you. My mom hates anything fermented, but she tries to tolerate it being in the fridge sometimes since my sister’s like Kimchi. However, I’m sure she’d be a lot less willing to tolerate it if it was a food that they liked to eat every day. It’s not racism in this case, it’s just a sensitivity to the strong smell
I think the water story is much much more easily understood if you replace water with something like fruit snacks.
OP already doesn't like having the GF around all the time. She buys fruit snacks for her 5 person house and makes it a rule for everyone to ration their fruit snacks so they last longer.
Then the GF comes along and starts to take a bunch of fruit snacks and put them into a bag. When you tell her to stop, she gets snippy with you and tells you that actually, the contents of her bag are the amount of fruit snacks needed for her daily caloric intake. You tell her to put them back, but she runs back to your son's room.
I think the OP is justified.
I don't think this analogy works lol.... Going to assume the girl has a liter (or more) hydro flask, because those are pretty hefty.
You don't really need fruit snacks, but you do definitely need water.
She definitely could have filled it up at her house tho.
Side note, why the HELL is OP ordering individual gallon water bottles??? Every place I've been has had at least one spot to fill up 5 gallon jugs, and it's usually only like $2 to refill them after an initial big purchase for the jug itself. Just seems extremely wasteful and cost inefficient.
Me: "I don't like the smell of some foods." The internet: "What are you, a racist?"
Even if it was 13k remaining from 14k, OP would be in the right for suing. I'd do the same.
In the last story, I can not defend on HOW the Teacher acted, Especially if it IS racially motivated. However, I do understand the basic reasoning of the smell issue. Kimchi, for those who don't know, has a very STRONG odor that most describes as pungent and off-putting, at least when I asked my friends who actually have eaten it on a regular basis. Who btw tend to not eat it around others to be courteous to them because they admit the smell is NOT for everyone and should not be forced upon. Anyways, in a classroom that is usually not well ventilated, foods like this can quickly overwhelm everyone especially the kids who will complain their heads off about it, usually resulting in bullying. I substitute from time to time and there was an issue in another class were a pre-K student had to stop bringing in his mom's boneless wings because it burnt the other student's eyes when the lunch was opened up, even well after he finished but it lingered in his breath. He was nicknamed Fire-Breath by the students (which sounds cool but is still upsetting to him) so he willingly (not told to) stopped bringing them, or had them with less spice in the sauce. It was sad to see but this does happen with other foods just to show the point of disruptive foods and what they would cause in a classroom setting.
Story 2: OP is NTA because they weren't doing this to begin with. They were already splitting things 50-50. He only has an issue now because he thinks he can save more by making her pay even more.
Story 3: they are only calling it a joke when they were confronted with the repercussions that they could possibly face for their actions that they chose. This is ongoing recurring abuse, and it’s only a joke if everyone is laughing and she’s clearly not.
In the first story when OP’s family accused her of putting money over family the first thing I thought of was that they were doing the exact same thing to her. Then when I heard rSlash say it as part of his judgment I was like “thank you!!” I hope she continues with the lawsuit and if her brother really wants to pay her tuition she SHOULD get it in writing because she can no longer trust her family. NTA.
4th story: I believe OP is one of those mom's that wants their sons to be the type of Mama's boys that can't lay off her breast milk and gets super jealous when there's another woman in the picture.
Story 4: NTA
Sounds like the water was the tipping point for OP. If the girlfriend is there every day for multiple hours a day, I’m going to assume OP also has to provide food for her. I’d be pretty pissed if someone pretty much moved into my house and started raising the food and electric bills, and didn’t even show any gratitude for that. If she were struggling and needed a better housing situation, that can be worked out and discussed to benefit everyone. From what it sounds like, she’s just being a leech.
Story 2: When my spouse made more money than me, they paid more. Now that I make more than them, I pay more. I strongly agree that proportional income should affect proportional bill paying. But I agree with rSlash that the rent you're paying him should factor into that, too. He should either not be charging you rent AT ALL, or if he is charging you rent, he should count that towards your monthly contribution to bills. You might want to seriously consider either moving out and getting your own place where this isn't an issue, or breaking up if you can't agree on an equitable distribution.
Because there is no mortgage, the bills aren't being paid 50/50. I would agree with proportional bill paying, except for this.
Here's my proposed solution (math incoming)
A = his income
B = her income
C = fair market value of rent
D = total cost of all other non-rent shared bills
A/(A+B)=X, the percentage of total income he earns.
B/(A+B)=Y, the percentage of total income she earns.
X*D = Total amount he owes towards bills
Y*D = Total amount she owes towards bills
Y*C = How much rent she should be paying
So basically, she should be responsible for a proportional percentage of the bills, but should also be paying only a percentage of the rent, not the full market value of it.
So, let's say (to make the math easy), that she earns $30/hr, he earns $20/hr, bills are $500/mo and he's currently charging her rent in the amount of $1500/mo.
Instead of $1500+((30/50)*500)/mo, she should be paying (30/50)*(1500+500)/mo.
But really, I stand by my original comment that she should consider getting her own place and/or dumping him if they can't get on the same page about money.
Story 3: Apparently they haven't heard of 2 fun phrases, "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes." and "F around and find out."
Hi Dabney, I used to get harassed for bring cream cheese and olive sandwiches to school for lunch and I'm a " regular " American!🤔😆
I don't think the teacher at the end is being racist. Just rude. I know people who are Korean. They're good people. That doesn't mean I'll like the smell of some of the food. Some people have sensitive noses, and if you're not used to the smell, then you aren't going to feel comfortable. On the bright side, the kid isn't from the story you read about the lady eating the pungent fettuccine alfredo.
If they were that worried about their family, they would have honoured the aunts wishes to educate the daughter. The aunt was clearly an intelligent and resourceful woman who wanted to take care of the other women around her, and the way they spent that money was just beyond disrespectful
That last teacher isn't racist, in my opinion. Kimchi does have a pungent odor. I've never had it, but I know people who've eaten it before. Let the kid eat it, yes, but she's not racist.
Also blue cheese can smell quite bad as well.
She is still wrong, but let's not leap to the absolutte worst conclusion instantly
@@miniman649 Good point. The whole lunch would smell horrid to sensitive noses, but the teacher isn't racist. Wrong, yes. Imagine if it were peanuts, someone was badly allergic, and OP refused to not give a peanut butter sandwich.
@@miniman649 no she isn't wrong
@@totalldwarf640 The way she approached it was wrong, in my opinion.
@@AnymousScreams why she reached out privately and did her best to be polite and not just say your food fucking stinks
Story 5: NTA. Personally, I have autism and certain sounds and smells can overwhelm me really easily. Like relish, I can't stand the smell or taste of it, I have to leave if I catch a whiff of it. But, I can't just go up to the person who really likes relish and tell them they can no longer eat it, simply because I don't like the smell. That's not how the world works.
If it's something a student or the teacher is allergic to, then I can understand why she wouldn't want the mom to pack it anymore. But, no, that isn't the reason, it's because the teacher just doesn't want the kid to have it for lunch anymore (maybe because of the smell?). NTA, the teacher is being ridiculous.
I had a Korean roommate in highschool. After study hall every night (~10pm) three of her friends would come in and make food in the bathroom we shared. yeah, FOOD IN THE BATHROOM. It would stink up the room so badly I would often have to go to my friends' rooms and sleep on their floor. Roommate and I were cordial, but it got to the point where I couldn't be in my own room a lot of the time, and when I talked to them about it they would give me dirty looks and ignore me (again while in my own room.) Most annoying part was that the dorm had a communal kitchen, so they had no reason to use the bathroom in the first place. Still irks me to this day.
Point is, I don't think it's racist to be sensitive to more smelly foods. Kimchi is delicious, but that paired with blue cheese sounds like a very overpowering combo that a lot of people wouldn't be used to. I personally wouldn't want to eat my food while smelling someone else's, I'm sure kids don't either.
Making food in a shared bathroom??? Oh hellllllllllll no. that's so disgusting.
I love how in the last story OP is like "the lunches I pack aren't the healthiest, but" immediately describes a healthier lunch than I ever got 😂
Story 1: Oh, OP's parents are the center of the universe, their needs are all that matter, and it's fine that they stole money intended for their daughter to attend college. Right.
I’m guessing you’re being sarcastic.
Also I can be really petty. I would leave a trap for the father and brother. It would spring up a couple months later. In which whoever is standing there will get a rude awakening. I’m a guy…for now at least. So I know just where it would hurt the most.
On story 3: While "Pretty Privilege" does exist. It's not just professors giving higher grades to whatever students they find the most attractive, there seems to be a (usually subconscious) bias towards attractiveness in almost anything that requieres choosing or grading a group people.
HOWEVER, instead of discussing it scientifically, objectively, they went full sexism mode and blamed OP as if she had done something to alter the scores. Even If you can demonstrate that there's a clear grading bias towards a particular attractive student, it would be the TEACHER'S fault as they are the ones being biased while grading.
In most cases it can be assumed that "pretty privilege" is something completely out of the control of the one that has it. Sure some might realize it and act upon it (flirt with the teacher or worse). But if OP is merely doing the same as everyone else and getting a better result, then she hasn't done any wrong and it would be the teacher's grading process that must be questioned.
Of course it could also be that OP is just a better student and producing better results, but her classmates never stopped to consider that.
Story 1:
In WHAT universe do these family members live where stealing money is acceptable... very obvious NTA.
universe misogynistic
What NTA mean ?
@@Kingdo_RGT not the a$$hole
@@Kingdo_RGT Not The A**hole (NTA), or in the censored way not the bad guy since you know TH-cam
@@Kingdo_RGT like the person bove said, not the a-hole
Theres other acronyms too like
YTA - Youre the A-Hole
ESH - Everyone sucks here
NAH - No A-Holes Here
Dabney, your voices and inflections are hilarious! You assuage the sarcastic streak we all wish we could express. Well done!
*First OP:* I like how OP's family accuse her of putting money over family when her parents _stole_ from OP's and her sister's college fund. Her parents clearly care more about their money than them. OP is NTA, and I hope she convinced her sister to sue as well on principle.
*Second OP:* Nvm, OP's boyfriend sees her as an ATM. OP is NTA, and she should consider getting her own apartment.
*Third OP:* OP's classmates were harassing OP based on her gender, plain and simple. If Classmate C loses out on a scholarship, then it's his own fault, not OP's. OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* If OP keeps up this attitude, then she'll likelylose contact with her son in the future. But hey, more water in the household! OP is TA.
It's good that OP apologized to her son and his girlfriend.
*Fifth OP:* OP should set up a meeting with the teacher and the principal, then ask the teacher which part of her son's lunch is "inappropriate" and "distracting." I doubt the teacher would fired, but I'd like to think she'd take mandatory sensitivity training as a result. OP is NTA.
Op isn’t the a hole in the second but you are.
What about the last story?
@@Batman-lg2zj I think he misspell it.. I think he meant to say NTA and spellcheck corrected it to MTA instead..
@@thetruth1816 yeah, it was a typo.
Also, I'm a she 😎
@@maieen2665 my bad bruhh.
Story 3: NTA. No wonder their exam results are sh*t if they can barely focus in the class, but no, apparently harrassing a student who has nothing to do with you is more important! Gotcha! THAT must be why you scored less.
Story 4, who in their right mind tries to take an obviously purchased container of water for just themselves when it's clear that it cost somebody money and it wasn't some little bottle of water??? No, OP absolutely had the right to get upset. It's the same as if she'd randomly waltz into the kitchen and make herself some food without sharing/contributing. The gf is 100% in the wrong. Don't touch anything that isn't yours and definitely don't just babysit the container as if it's meant just for you, especially if you didn't help pay for it. Common sense. Ask first.
Someone else commented that the bottle the girlfriend was filling was more or less half a gallon on its own too, which really doesn't help the gf's case
Bingo! That and the fact the GF scoffed and went to the son's room after being asked to leave. And is over laid up in OPs house all the time? OH HELL NAW!
Completely agree here. If it was just a small cup then she would've been fine.
"We have bottled drinking water because we don't like the taste of the tap, but I get mad when people drink it"
What?
Story 1: as soon as op told her brother she wanted a legally binding contract to be paid back he back peddled on his offer. I wonder why🤔
I want to see one of the kids in that class bring surstromming to school. "It's a cultural food, you can't complain about it!"
When it comes to the "Disgusting lunches" I think that the kimchi might be the one that the teacher is refering to! Kimchi, while definitly delicious flavor-wise, can be a bit pungent aroma-wise, and if you´re not used to the smell it actually can be quite distracting. With that said the teacher still deserves a butthole score for being rude instead of diplomatic about it!
Lastly: In my culinary culture (Swedish) we have some really smelly food (Surströmming and Lutfisk to name a couple) and no swedish parent would even dream of sending that stuff as packed lunches!
Agreed. We Koreans love our fermented food😂
So do I haha!👌
They both deserve one the teacher for not being tactful and the parent for being entitled because "that's what here baby likes"
@@Corinari I feel like the teacher was rude maybe because she's been silent about it for a while and brought it up because she was annoyed. Still wish she was nicer about it.
@@Twinklethefox9022 I think she was trying to avoid singling out the cultural foods. We live in an environment where merely expressing displeasure at a food that comes from a non-white culture is screamed about as RACISM by politically programmed fools like rSlash that can't understand the difference between hating Korean people and not wanting to smell and eye-soak in pickled spicy cabbage and sriracha breath.
The main reason I come here is because R/slash gets just as outraged as I do over these posts. It makes me feel like I'm not crazier and a people hater. Also the rants are just 10/10! I never want these videos to stop!
Goat cheese,blue cheese ,kimchi, and sriracha…that is a smelly lunch!!! Not racist, just odor control! P.S. I love goat cheese,blue cheese,kimchi, and hot sauce.
Story 2- I can relate. When I moved into my first apt with my bf he insisted on paying what he could afford instead of splitting the bills evenly. He would just give me the money once a month and I'd take care of the bills. We made about the same but he decided after we moved in that he could only afford $300 a month because he needed to save money (for what, Idk). That $300 was to go towards rent, utilities, cable and any supplies needed like tp, cleaning stuff, his shampoo, rasors, ect. Yes, I had to go get his razors for him too. We did share in the cost of food pretty evenly though. He thought he should pay less than his share because we shared a bedroom. He said if he has his own room then he could see paying more. He thought he should only be responsible for 1/3 of the bills because I have a son and I get that but he didn't even pay the 1/3. He was saving a lot of money and would hide it in random places and then accuse me of stealing it till he found it again and said that I should be happy with the $300 because if he wasn't with me I'd be paying for it all so he saw it like a gift. He even tried to say that I was ripping him off at one point and that $300 was too much until I reminded him that was the amount He came up with.
Needless to say, that relationship didn't end up working out but we lived together for years. I have no idea how much he saved in the time but I bet it was a lot. I, on the other hand, was always dead broke when I was with him since I was paying for most things. I ended up having more money after he left because I wasn't spending so much on him every month anymore. He even called me one time after he had moved out and complained about the cost of razors. He didn't realize how expensive they could be. I bet he discovered a lot of things cost more than he thought. Smh
Kimchi is a bit pungent. It’s not racist. This is coming from a Korean.
When i used to work in office maintenance, we had a coworker make kimchi and take it from the kitchen to their office. It took a few days to realize it was the food and not a dead animal in the copier.
That doesn't make it "inappropriate" for a kid's lunch, though!
@@rapheAltoid77 the smell can be nauseating to some. I understand that. If it were to be other Korean food item which isn’t offensive to the nose, then I’d raise an eye brow.
@raphealtoid77 true but other kids don't like the smell so it's a distraction. The teacher should have been a lot more respectful about asking tho
It doesn’t matter if it’s pungent or not. This is America, people can eat whatever the hell they want by default. That teacher is a racist. Phoenixblade, do not defend the teacher.
I still haven’t forgotten about the stinky pasta.
Story 2, she should agree to split the expenses proportional to income, but only actual expenses. Stop paying him rent based on market rates and just kick in a proportional amount of the taxes, and other related expenses. Absolutely no reason to pay him rent AND split expenses... one or the other buddy.
Water situation: Instead of spending so much money on gallon bottles of water and doing this elaborate bowl, whatever nonsense, just buy a tapwater filter. It literally attaches to the sink itself and will remove whatever gives it the odd aftertaste. Then you don't have to be all uptight over water.
Also, if you don't want your son's gf around all the time, you need to talk with him. Establish boundaries. Explain to him that you don't mind her visiting occasionally, but you also would like time at your home without guests around as well. Also the whole "I just don't think she is right for him" without explanation, nah you just insufferable.
8:30 is cracking me up! I’m at work and I couldn’t help myself but chuckle at Rslash making fun of the 3rd story.
Hey bud, thanks for making my truck driving job much more tolerable. I love my job regardless, but late at night listening to these stories make the trip so much faster and enjoyable keep it up!!!
Story 3: those “jokes” those guys were saying aren’t jokes that was blatant bullying, also if they loose out of their scholarships that’s their own fault as they’re the ones picking on someone like that. Also it’s not sexual harassment it’s just normal harassment which is still bad
In the last story, I can completely understand not wanting kimchi in a small enclosed area. My roommate is Korean, and sometimes makes strong smells like kimchi, and vegan Korean chili paste. It smells up the whole house, since it is very potent. I can only imagine having it in a small enclosed space like a classroom
These stories prove to me daily people need to communicate way better
On the first story I'd make a slight addendum to the ruling in that the brother gets 2.5 bad guys. Yeah, still a tool, still took the money and threw a fit about the contract but at least he bothered to approach her about giving her SOME money rather than everyone else in the family who've basically said "yeah, so?" He's like a shoplifter among looters, "at least I didn't break anything", I mean............I guess that makes you a little less bad?
14:50 blue cheese. Sure. Because it’s blue from mouId. And it’s infamous for being stinky
I think what was grinding the mom's gears in the tiny house was the lack of privacy and the fact that she already stated her water costs an eyeball and rather than just get a glass of water and sip it when necessary the son's girlfriend felt entitled to fill up her giant water bottle with expensive water and brush off his mom's concerns when she's not paying for anything in the home. Guests need to stop treating a strangers house as their own. Yes she's the son's girlfriend but she is not a resident of the home and if the house is cramped and resources are tight then the last thing a person wants is another person shoved in close proximity to them. She should have just told the son the most time I want your girlfriend over here is 30 minutes to an hour at most and make sure she brings her own drink and food as our budget is super tight and I want to enjoy time alone in my house and eat and drink what I paid for.
If the son wants to spend more time with the girlfriend there are plenty of places outside the house they can hang out at or they could go to the girlfriends house. Something tells me the girlfriends parents also don't want a stranger underfoot consuming their food and drink.
Story 1: I've said it before and I'll say again; I hope there's a specific layer of Hell for parents who steal from their children! NTA.
I’d say 9th Circle, the one for traitors.
Straight to Hell. To the boiler room of Hell. All the way down.
story 3 is literally like "oh noooo, the consecuences of my actions! :("
Story 1: you know who else didn’t “get her culture”? OP’s great aunt - that’s why she saved so much for OP and her sister and cousins in the first place!! Forget “airing dirty laundry”, what about disrespecting the explicit wishes of the dead? 🥴
My old French teacher, and school principal (in grade school) used to make daily health comments about my lunch. I never went hungry when I was a child, but we did sometimes run out of cold cuts and such for sandwiches, so I improvised a « snack sandwich » that I still make to this day. It’s mayo and canned paté, or mustard and canned paté, and I had a cake for dessert. They were made by Vachon, these are very popular in Québec, Canada. And I remember her telling me not to eat so many of these unhealthy cakes. THEY WERE DESSERT.
It’s not like I was eating a huge bag of chips, a 2 litre bottle of soda, a bag of candy and other unhealthy things. We’re allowed to have a dessert already.
Kimchi has a very strong smell. I wouldn't bring it to work for lunch because of the smell.
It's like don't bring fish to work and put it in the microwave
I really appreciate that you are quick to call out racism when you see it in stories you read, especially racism by teachers against students and workplace discrimination
If anyone want to do a study on the effect of too much Reddit done to a person Rslash videos would be perfect for it. I'm glad he took the vacation he needed, the few latest videos have been full of positive energy.
Both the water story and the last story are clear signs he needs to get away from the internet
@dragonriderabens9761 I disagree. Especially on the last story.
The water story had me split when I first heard it. Because yeah the gf needed to be respectful to the rules, but at the same time it was obvious that it wasn't just about the water. The last story might not be about race, but the teacher was Hella rude.
OP of the first story coming like “bitch you better have my MONEY” 🔥💃🏽
Story 3: Wtf? These guys aren't acting like adults but like literal 4th graders lmao.
The sass in your voice is amazing, r/slash. Welcome back.
If OP considers 13K almost gone, then I would love to know how much money OP's parents actually stole from her because it sounds like at least 30-40k. And that's me being generous with the amount. NTA BTW
I mean, it the terms of costs of education, that IS almost gone because that's not even a full year
@@JHyde-tv3if man 13k is 2 years at the college I'm going to, that would be freakin great (community college)
@@ShieldLover22 My CC was more than that. Mine was like... 10k a year or more. What kinda school are you going to?
@@JHyde-tv3if oh it's just a CC that mainly prioritizes being the most cost effective in the area. There's another one about an hour away that's around 12k a year when you get room & board.
I'm mainly online though because I need to work through college to just, survive, so I don't need room & board, making my tuition each semester total around 3.2k
I LOVE kimchi, and blue cheese, but I wouldn't eat it in the office at work... It's stanky!
Story 5. Kimchi does smell. I'm not saying it's not a racial thing for a teacher, but pretty understanding that you don't suppose to eat smelly foods in school/work
It's not a racist thin rslash just can't help but show his CNN side now and then
Let's say that I like eating kimchi and someone tells me to stop because they don't like the smell. I'm caucasian, does that make it a racial issue still?
Also you forgot to mention blue cheese and goat cheeses which are pretty pungent as I've tried them, wet cheeses in general are. Those add up to the smell too
Yeah, we Koreans love fermented food. There’s a stew called Chunguk jiggae (천국찌개) and I hate the smell of it. I eat Korean food only as well.
Spam is very popular in Korea! One of the most popular dishes in Korea is called “Army Stew” in English and has spam in it. They also sometimes put it in their kimbap (like sushi) rolls and stir fry with it too.