Adult with Autism | You're NOT Autistic | 27
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.ย. 2021
- Q: What's better than being professionally diagnosed with Autism by a renowned and acclaimed specialist?
A: Having random people tell you on the internet that you don't have Autism based on very limited insight into my life.
Some people are bitter in life and it is a great shame to hold anger for someone, especially when you don't know them, then feel you need to be a keyboard warrior about it...but it gives me topics for videos! So, every cloud...
Also, trying to 'up my game' on TH-cam and create daily series on certain topics, and I would LOVE suggestions that you want me to cover. They need to be the main subject, with all topics linked, such as the 7 Deadly Sins = 7 days of videos.
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For enquires: oldandautistic@gmail.com
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I appreciate the rant's because it tells in detail how I feel but could never explain in words. not that everything you talk about is exactly me,but close enough I feel we're on the same path in life so to speak. Looking forward to the next video! I just want to say thanks Paul don't change a thing .
Thanks Todd, these types of comments keep me on course 👍🏻
I'm completely with you on answering the door for food or whatever... especially for solicitors. "Hi! Got an ant problem?" - "No..." - "Well, I was just talking to your neighbor..." . I love the contactless delivery now as well... with just a smile and wave from the doorway as they're getting back in their car. I feel like such a child when it seems like they've not walked off yet and are still standing there... holding my breath on the other side of the door, trying to not make a noise as I check the peep hole. Glad to know I'm not alone! ;-)
Haha! It's one of my biggest triggers! Even tonight it's been a problem. Not got the energy for it, so I'm eating what's left of a multi pack of crisps for my exquisite dining this evening!
Good to know I'm not the only door dodger!
Thank you for the videos, Paul! I really admire how you put yourself out there. Navigation of this NT world is a daily struggle for me, and watching you has been a lifeline more than once. It really helps to not feel so alone, seeing you be so real and relatable
Thanks Cori, I do appreciate the kind words and knowing that the videos may help somehow. Especially as I know I want to do them, I just don't know what I am going to do when I press record! Hopefully it makes them more authentic!
I don't blame you for not watching the news. Personally I lived under a rock for many years. I had no clue what was going on in the world, my country, my state, or my city. I didn't sign up for Facebook until ten years later after it was developed. I had never been on a social media platform prior to that. Once I did sign up, it was very rare I was on it. So I didn't see any news in that way either. I only started watching the news consistently about 2 years ago. That's one way I use TH-cam. Yes it has weighed me down. It does make me not want to leave the house. It has caused my already existing PTSD to worsen. But I have become so obsessed with having to know everything going on. That I’m struggling to pull myself away from watching it.
In two years I have caught up on a summery of 12 years worth of news. Well prior to those 12 years it was rare I watch the news in the first place. Point is 12 years is how long I stayed under a rock. I only surfaced a estimated 40% of the time. That was so I could live life, but I still stayed in my own little world. So I don't think your selfish at all for not watching it. I think your one of the smart ones and smarter than me. I keep my rock close by because I know myself. At any moment I may decide to hide under it again. How long I will stay no one will know, not even myself. My spirit animal is the common turtle with a mixture of the snapping turtle. LOL
I became this way towards news as it was having a lasting detrimental impact on me so I fully understand...
I also can relate to any creature that wants to hibernate!!
I don’t watch mainstream news either. If I want to know about any subject I go to the internet and search for myself. I can search as superficial or deeper as I feel like to my contentment. That is also a great way to find valuable information to understand human nature and what's behind it, if one is so inclined to do so. Autistic minds may have an advantage to perceive better what's behind the scenes.
Looking forward to some excelent daily ramblings. :)
I do the same. If a topic peaks my interest, I'll look across as many platforms for information.
Hopefully the daily videos aren't a terrible idea! 😂
Relate so much to the misanthropy. I feel like 90% of my misery is because of the state of the world and people's absolute apathy or sticking their heads in the sand. Whatever neurotypicality is, it's killing the earth. Caring more about social pressure, social hierarchies, image, etc., with the lack of critical thinking are in my opinion bigger deficits than what they call deficits in autism. Bitter rant aside, it's eerie how much I relate to many of the things you mention, and I'm stuck in limbo waiting to get my assessment, having plenty of time questioning myself and going back and forth because I'm not a 'classic' autist, but the camouflage type (nevermind the million family members with diagnoses who are the same type as well). This video certainly helps in regards to my self-doubts, so thanks for that!
You've put into words what I've long been trying to describe- thank you.
No problem, I appreciate the comment.
I’m just a 48 year old mom watching because I have a 16 year old son who was just diagnosed on the spectrum. Wanting to try to understand a little bit better how I may be able to help him now and in the future. Just looking to hear about your experiences. Good luck on your channel.
Hi Jennifer. Should you ever have areas you want me to cover, always happy to add the topic to my requests if it might help.
Oldandautistic@gmail.com 👍🏻
"What is wrong with humans?" I ask that literally every time i leave me house.
Algorithm tips? Here's one: I've never found a single tip that seemed to make a difference. Not one. I started getting lots of views at one point. It was on an old video that just took off one day. I hadn't done anything different. I still haven't. If I release a lot of videos in a short time, or if I take a month off entirely, no difference. Most of those people with tips and tricks just want to sell you something or get your view time for their own channel. Just do what you want, I like watching.
Good tip! I'm not after being all singing and dancing, just wondering where the majority of views come from in the world, then cater the timings more to that side.
I feel you bruh. Trying to explain this to others is exhausting - thanks for doing it for me. You've got a new sub.
Thanks Jim, much appreciated 👍🏻
Enjoyable content, cute doggos, and feel-good music. Fullfilling all my youtube needs.
The dog will be making a return in the near future I'd imagine!
Hihi, you had me laughing in recognition at so many points 😊 most of which have slipped through my mind, except the image of you eating chocolate in a large fridge 😉 Personally, I really like it in summer when the chocolate gets all soft...!
On a more serious note, it's so important to cut out things that drain our energy. I'm trying to find that balance. Right now my world is very small, but I'm so much happier.
Big congrats on your 500 subscribers 😎🎉💐
Haha thanks. I really appreciate the subscribers...up to 503 now.Feeling the pressure now 😂
I just wanted to say hi and I enjoy your videos. I relate to a lot of things you've said. I'm waiting to talk to someone about an autism assessment for myself. I'm going to chase the Dr's up tomorrow. I know it gets to you but it doesn't matter what some ignorant person thinks, they're not a Dr and have no clue about autism. Even some Dr's have no clue about autism. Autism isn't something you can see. You don't look at a person and instantly know their whole life so they have no right to judge you. Anyway maybe they'll watch more videos and learn something.
Hi Shaz. Yep, I agree. Just like it's important to not just listen, but to hear what someone says...it's also important to not to settle on an immediate judgement before getting to know a person.
Water off a ducks back to me, its the positive comments that break through my old man armour and put a smile on my chops 👍🏻
WOW! This one especially speaks to me. I’m 58 and 1 1/2yrs into my dx. My family has been the worst, I’m ready to just let them go, as sad as that sounds, my life would have a lot more peace to just step away. My friends doubt me as well, so a thinner list of real friends is in the works. The mask is very much a part of my life as well, I thought that I threw it away on acceptance of my differences and no, it’s very helpful at times. I am a bit opposite of you on seating, I need to look at the wall or I get to overwhelmed with all the activity of human. We are all so different and that’s what makes us so hard to figure out by non-autistic people. I’m the same way with menu though. We are who we are!
Accepting and respecting ourselves and others of course, is helpful to me.
Cheers mate!
All the best 👍🏻
Two videos today? Buzzing 🎉 Whatever the TH-cam algorithm, I’m so glad I’ve been able to be a part of the journey from the start! Been a tough year for all of us but I really shot myself in the foot applying for uni as a mature student and In the final (and most important) year having to deal with how crazy the world’s been recently. #Burnout. 100% understand the whole news thing, deleted all news apps from my phone but still in a dilemma over my Twitter addiction and how you can’t avoid news on it haha. Just wanted to say Thankyou, your videos the past 6+ months have really helped me chill out and it’s accompanying knowing there are other late self/clinically diagnosed ASD’s who are just trying to get by 🙏🏼
Hey, appreciate the comment, I really do.
I was more negative after coming off Twitter than I was opening it up. Deleted it, never looked back. Turns out I was more addicted to thinking I was interested in what was going on, than I was actually needing to know!
@@AdultwithAutism good to know! I’ll give it a go! See if I can last a week 😜
Haha, I've nothing but faith my friend!
Your very appreciated, I can say its amazing to hear about your journey because it's my journey somewhere somehow I'm not the only one that thinks like me, that means everything to me 😅. Your not old your a classic 😉
Thank you, I appreciate that. And I should know about appreciation being a classic 😂
@@AdultwithAutism HaHa ic what you did there 🤣
Dwarfs 🤣. That gave me a laugh. Oh, I would have done dwarfs. I used to have a Snow White nickname and was gifted a Disney poster for the back of my office door in my early working days. For about 7 years I was an admin for 7 little men lol. But that’s another story! Looking forward to the 7 deadly. So you be “Grumpy” eh?
No problem Snow White 😉
Same here man. Same here.
Hi Paul, what a delight. I thought that the Adult with Autism show was on hiatus until after the big trip! No sure why I am excited about your video from the trip? Such a great chat! Just today I was explaining to my partner why I need alone time. I was telling him that I have to be somebody else all of the time that I need it to be me! I think he knows that but he needs a reminder sometimes. I have so many issues similar to yours that people would just be shocked or amazed. I do not have food issues per say but I am happy eating the same thing everyday. With regard to going out I totally need to know the structure of the event, the timing, location etc. I also have to know how loud the place is going to be. I hear everything so if a place is loud i just sit there. The old, feeling alone in a crowded room! With regard to the news. I am one hundred percent in agreement with you. It just crushes me. I don’t “ Listen, read, watch” it. I may have gotten that in the wrong order but its my new go to phrase😄. When socializing with people I never get what everyone is into. I just don’t fit in in that regard. I do not have the drive to have the most, make the most etc. I have enough to live and that makes me happy. Thanks again for the great chat. No matter the subject there is always a laugh or two! Looking forward to the seven sins.
Haha, hey Bryan. People can talk to me about my interests, but if I'm not interested in that person because they've been thrust upon me in a 'he's autistic, so are you so you must be best friends' scenario, then I still don't play ball!
The trip is on for Friday, although I must admit it's getting trickier to try and raise getting a podcast done as I'm getting my head around that there is a lot of COVID changes, and the actual layout of the main complex has changed and its thrown me off. One of the joys of visiting where I know is all those surprises are usually gone!
I'm taking the stuff regardless, then just see if it comes off in between being full of drink!
@@AdultwithAutism well good luck with the trip, having a good time is the most important thing😀.
It sure is. Looking forward to it...which is rare! I don't usually enjoy things where people are involved 😂
@@AdultwithAutism yeah you are subtle about the people thing but I have picked up on it 😁
Haha. Good to know it reaches through, albeit subliminally 🤣
I don't like watching people at restaurant. I do opposite from you. Thanks for the video!
I need to keep my eye on people, have a problem with people behind me and I can't see what they're up to. No idea why I need to be though! And no problem 😁
Your videos are resonating with me. I'm in my 40's, diagnosed in my late 30's with both ADHD and autism. I like rhat you make your content. I'm all about acceptance and pride and celebrating ourselves but I also appreciate someone like you who will talk about the not so fun things that we have to deal with inhabiting bodies with this kind of nervous system. It's not easy, it can be extremely isolating and lonely to be tgis way. So I appreciate your raw honesty. It makes me feel seen. Especially the part about going on a shopping run. These days I'm enjoying my local supermarket's offering to do a pick-up order. I enjoy that now I can order clothes with a window of time to try them on at home and send back what doesn't fit or I don't like. Always hated shopping.
I'm glad my videos are offering a different perspective in a way 👍🏻
Every time you post I think… let’s go!
Haha, I'll take it.
You’re liked by intelligent people. Who cares about anyone else.
👍🏻
Also I kind of love that your response to this naysayer who says you're not autistic is to basically lay out what it's like (in your experience) to be autistic, in ways that are extremely relatable to me, another autistic middle aged person. I think being diagnosed late really does "hit different" as the kids say. The part where you said as part of your masking that your response to certain situations is curated from other people, that's painfully relatable. Also being called a control freak for having to know what the plan is, etc. Part of my mask for a looong time has been pretending I'm flexible and spontaneous. I'm really super not either of those things. Part of my mental health "treatment" now is to actually just be a control freak about the parts of my life that I can control and while my social life is now more limited than it was when I was younger, I'm also happier and more stable.
I'm also as some would call a "bleeding heart" and get inconsolably upset when I actually stay up to date on the news. I haven't been able to bring myself to completely ignore it, but I check highlights and headlines once a month now. It definitely helps. I agree that if your house isn't in order, how are you going to do any good for others. I can barely take care of myself. I'm a high performer at work and then rest a lot at home because I have to in order to keep going. Part of my self care is eliminating as much stress as I can.
Another element of my current life is that I also have aging parents now and both of them are clearly autistic and I suspect one of them has ADHD like me because I'm their little "mini me" and all of the sensory/neurological/social things are so similar between me and that parent. They're both old enough they said they aren't interested in getting diagnosed but after my diagnosis they're both very open to the fact they could also be neurodivergent in this way. I bring that up because aging while having these conditions is a unique experience with unique challenges.
I do wonder what stops older people pursuing a diagnosis. It would be good to have that missing piece of the puzzle for a few unanswered questions through life. But who knows! Knowing what I know now, I'd definitely need to know 👍🏻
I love your videos, Paul, and especially the rants. I know it may be hard to hear this, but you're brilliant. Always a bit of humor in them that gets me laughing. I relate to your view of the world and getting through each day, and what a horrible species we are on a daily basis. Keep on, Paul.
Your videos make me laugh and cry and feel heard.
What these nay-sayers don't understand is that the better you can mask, the bigger the struggle going on behind it and the greater the effort required.
Thank you for all you bring to the table...love the rants, the waffles, the peeks behind the mask, the humor, and the validating insight.
(I've been enjoying your music as well...played it all day long on repeat!)
Keep up the good work!
Thank you, I appreciate that...and glad you like my 'music' 👍🏻
Just found you tonight and I think your great. I was diagnosed at 56 last year after a life of failutes, confusion, underachievement and constant burn out. I am an angry grumpy misanthropic high masking git too. Pleased to meet you 😊😊
Glad you're here. Just my kind of human 👍🏻
Thank you for sharing so openly. Your experience continues to confirm to me that I'm autistic as well. Thank you for helping me learn more about myself. 😊
No problem Nina, I only want to help however I can.
Thankyou. This was great, keep going! You have helped me heaps. Stay well, keep smiling :)
Thank you, kind of you to say.
Always smiling 👍🏻
Love a good rant! And Love your channel! ❣❣❣
All I do is rant, it's the gift I give that no one asked for 😂
@@AdultwithAutism 😂😂😂 That comment made my day! Thanks, man!
I have watched almost all of your videos and I enjoy them immensely. Please disregard the negativity and rude emails. You are an inspiration to many people, and that is all that matters. 🌷
Thank you Rebecca, only the kind words matter. Thankfully I'm of an age where keyboard warriors don't phase me.
I don't mind constructive criticism, topic ideas etc, but someone just being rude shows more about them than it does about me 👍🏻
First time watcher/subscriber here, enjoyed this video your sincerity was evident voice pleasant slow clear, looking forward sir. 77 here diagnosed Autistic 2003 but studied since 1990 and before in earnest. 2022 and still mystified in many ways but have concluded that most people are instinctively disproportionally put off by us, concluding we are a separate species of human set off by our "thinking" type, we may look like you but are not you! Most important if Autistic, learning/perfecting solitude guilt free is road to peace of mind, not so much joy or happiness but for sure making huge efforts to please people is a dead end for Autists ~~
Welcome, and thank you. There is certainly a missing connection with the NT world that I feel, and the thing that Ives me the most anxiety.
Hey Paul,
A waffle with a side of rant... good stuff... hahaha!
Every bit of this video resonated with me! I was shaking and with tears in my eyes because of the reality of hearing from someone else the things that go on in my head every moment. I've always felt very alone because my brain worked so differently than others. Thank you for sharing a little bit of the who that you are. Now i know someone out there would understand what i go through in this head of mine.
I will be having my wife sit down and watch this one with me. I'm sure she will be thinking "oh crud... there's someone else like you in the world!?!" 😄
Thanks Paul,
Still smiling!
Haha, two of us out there...what a scary thought 😂
I think waffles with a side of rant is the way forward 👍🏻
Cool video bro😊😊😊
Many thanks 👍🏻
🤣 Do you think you have a long lost short Scottish cousin? Just kidding... Your explanations are so familiar to me. Not exactly the same, mostly differing in intensity, but the same feelings and problems. Your videos make me evaluate my own behaviors and help me recognize what is autistic. I find that I have to explain myself all the time. Asking me to behave differently in certain scenarios, is like asking a fish to go for a walk...
Haha, don't let me lack of intensity fool you...I keep a lid on the range of emotion in check for the right reasons on videos. With great outbursts come great recovery times! I think so long as the connection of understanding is there, then that's what keeps us connected 👍🏻
Couple of people believed me when I disclosed to them that I think I have autism. People have this idea that if u have this, that u are going to present showing very obvious signs like low IQ and always identified by the time u are a toddler. They assume if u can’t hold a job u are lazy and u must have a character defect. It’s been devastating going thru life not understanding what has made my life so hard and traumatic. I struggle with the rigidity like u describe. Plans changing messes me up, I’m not very flexible. I can’t cook either besides eggs on stove, very simple stuff only 😂 restaurants are a nightmare b/c I have difficulty choosing food often at places I’m not familiar with what the food will be like, sometimes nothing looks good. I almost always get the wrong thing lol!
I always order the wrong thing. It ends up being a choice between two things, and I'm always annoyed at the wrong choice 😂
Soon you will have 1k subs 👏
I'm still surprised I have 1 sub, so very humbled to have over 500!
I ferst found your videos yesterday I believe maybe day before I have a lot of trouble with timelines but ive watched over 20 hours of them so far just keep doing what you're doing man keep your head up I mean you definitely speak to me I can relate to everything you talk about and you know like the shoes I might not have a thing for those shoes but I have the same feelings that you describe towards something just or more odd to other people but like you said it's me that's into it don't worry about it I like that just keep at it I was telling my kid about your videos I think he may have emailed you I don't know what he said dut anyway I love the videos man keep it up
Thanks Jessie. Glad you've found them. I check emails on Sundays so I'll check then👍🏻
It feels like somehow someone wrote a book of my brain and you're reading from it for this video.
Haha, it's good when that happens!
> I'm bad at taking praise
For compliments I've heard a great formula: "Thank you, that's nice of you to say". It accepts the compliment ("thank you"), and simultaneously satisfies your inner urge to dodge it-the "nice of you" might suggest that it's _too_ nice, or maybe that it's more nice than what's required. Or at least you can silently tell yourself that.
For actions rather than speech, such as subscribing, the obvious translation is "Thank you, that's nice of you (all) to do".
The issue starts WITH the compliment. The second it is said, I feel like I could go and live on the moon for the rest of my days to avoid ever hearing one again.
So I'm already worked up in the short time it then takes to respond. My go to now is to say 'many thanks'. I mean it, but it sounds disingenuous!
Can't win 😂
@@AdultwithAutism > 'many thanks'
I haven't heard your delivery. I find your speech in these videos lively; if you deliver "many thanks" somewhat flatly or in some other way which doesn't sound enthusiastic, that might be why people don't take your statement at face value.
👍🏻
If you have not liked, subscribed and commented, DO IT. Early subscribers have a lot of influence over how much a new channel gets pushed.
Enjoying the videos, read your bio- welcome to the black sheep side of the Aspie family! I'm diagnosed at the ripe old age of 65! I'm supposed to be lady-like & end up sounding & behaving NOT! LOL! Keep up the good work!
Haha, thanks Diane. Lady like sounds hard work, best to keep it real 😂
Great content as usual, but please don’t start the patreon thing that a lot of other you tubers have started doing on their channels.
Hi Jason, not happening. If people want to pay for a private audience with me, I'd feel like an escort 😂
Some of what I understand to be true is that engagement is key. The more people like, comment, subscribe and hit the bell, the more the algorithm will promote your channel. Conversely, the lower those number are, the further under your videos get buried.
Asking a specific question to be answered in the comments is a great way to do this. I've also seen where a youtuber will select the best suggestion for their "Hi Im TH-camr, and *insert user generated humor here*" opening.
I've no idea at all, I just press record and upload it! I'm doing a new part to the channel where I answer questions sent in as time to respond to every email has now gone. I'll just test and trail things and see what sticks!
@@AdultwithAutism Well, you're doing better than I am M8, so keep going. I really enjoy how natural and off the cuff your videos are. You're not cutting down 80% of your video, you're just hitting record and talking, which comes off as super authentic.
Thabks, I really appreciate that. I'm just talking openly and honestly and seeing where it gets me.
Ha it's all kids on here, I'm always grateful to find another adult 👍
This grumpy old man welcomes you 👍🏻
🙄 I don't watch the news either. I've bever paid for cable or anything. I completely agree with you buddy. Sometimes, I look up specific topics because I hear something form someone. And then I'm like well now I feel worse because thers nothing I can do about the bad stuff.
15:09 I m a cey baby ill break down and cry and leave my trolley too. It sucks. Cuz you got some of what you need already and you just can take it any more.
17:41 for myself im so scared to make choices because I don't want to inconvenience anyone because past crap.
25:06 omg I literally won't eat if I have to people! I stayed at a hotel once no I didn't eat because I couldn't even open the door and them in scared people will pop by.
27:43 😂 your hilarious you should totally wear water wings and flap too.but licking glass does feel good lol. 😅 Thanks for the rant! ❤
Love ranting 👍🏻
My chocolate has to live in the freezer! 😂
The colder the better. Not having it melt on my fingers!
I as well am beyond disappointed with humanity. It really bothers me and everyone days 'why do u care?'
Why the FUCK don't u is my response
I feel ya man. This is unacceptable
Everyone says****
Fuuuuuuck
There are all these Autistic Adults out there to learn about Autism from, yet researchers and specialists try to identify markers in Rats and Mice to see where it comes from.
Whilst they cannot even get on our wavelength, things will always be disjointed. So hopes of most of the everyday non Autistic person understanding isn't very high.