Best Dungeons and Dragons Insults | A D&D Sketch
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
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What are the best insults, or Vicious Mockery, lines you can deal in D&D? Well here are some examples! Thanks to Emily for the help with our research: mykindofmeeple...
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Uh…did the guy asking for Ezekiel’s name have the Calabash?
Never thought to see Luke's mag advertised here but cool
alright, YOU did it. I watch DM Lair a lot, but have never subscribed. I am tonight, just cause Ad Barian sent me. *lol* I've been procrastinating for years (okay probably months)
Hi can everyone or anyone help me with a idea I wanted to make a homebrew class something like a mix of a necromancer,cleric and artistic. The idea is the class will be able to dismembered monsters. Use the body parts to replace their own obviously restrictions depending on size and Weight and compatibility. Thx
I was actually surprised the guard didn’t drop dead from the collective Psychic damage with all of this “vicious mockery”.
Did a couple fun calculations on it, I counted 18 insults, for an average of 45 damage (Assuming a bard lower than level 5) if they all hit (Which they definitely seem like they did) Guards have 11 hitpoints, man must be built like an ox to take it on the chin like that. (Or be a Knight, that would allow him enough HP to survive)
Guard: You know what's gooey, hot and black?
*Pours boiling oil*
@@levelynn3853 it also depends on how many wisdom saving throws succeed
@@stephenadams8712 That's what I meant with they all hit, because those all definitely seemed to land
@@levelynn3853He did nearly walk away from him
Bard [Returns to Party]: Okay, these guards are pretty tough. That was at least 17d4 Psychic damage.
i rolled 44!
Dang I got 43
I don’t know how but I rolled a 15
@@The_Serious_Chicken check under the table, you might be missing a few
i got 50, yeah they're pretty tough
Absolutely love the Monty Python references, truly a man of culture
Also noticed this immediately
My thought exactly
The second it showed him running towards the castle, I was like "Yesssss, Holy Grail jokes!"
Same XD
Same, noticed it immediately, and love it
“your mother was an owlbear and your father smelt of goodberries” 😂
I don't get that one
@@Vampire00971 It's a reference to Monty Python's Holy grail movie. Great movie. 😊
@@Vampire00971 You poor, poor, sheltered soul.
@@Vampire00971 Basically his father was a hippie druid fucking an owlbear
@@Vampire00971 ouch my soul.
In Monty Python and the Holy Grail King Arthur was insulted by a French Guardsman in a castle and one of the lines said was "your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries"
“I cast Stinking Cloud in your general direction!”
Ah that one is amazing!!
@@OneShotQuesters thanks!
😂😂
Leans over "I think that made him smell better"
@@gilligan8795 LOL!
This is the exact reason they used to keep cauldrons of boiling oil on castle walls, so they could pour it on annoying bards
I prefered French cauldron of lead. It created such heated piece of art!
Maybe grab a few warlocks. Try dodging 4 agonizing eldritch spears.
nice Monty Python reference at the start
and the end
@@p.a.4512 and my axe!
Was sure he would speak french at some point
I was gonna say the same thing
@@1urie1 and my reference!
The Bard storming a castle with nothing more than Vicious Mockery
"Why does your face look like I need to ask my cleric to cast Greater Restoration?"
--
"Know any Druids?"
"Why?"
"Get them to cast Regenerate see if you grow your balls back!"
--
"Your face maked me wish I knew how to cast Blind, so I could save myself from having to look at you!"
Those are the ones I could think of while watching this xD
"You are proof that even the gods make mistakes"
"Your yell didn't scare me. Your breath on the other hand..."
"Everyone is allowed to make mistakes now and then, but I feel you're abusing the privilege!"
"I'd call you a pile of dung, but you lack both the depth and the warmth!"
"Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence?"
"Thy countenance bears great resemblance to a bugbear's posterior."
"Did you cast stinking cloud or do you always smell like this?"
"Is that your armor? Do they make it for adults, too?"
@@adamschank7703 I love this.
"That line will work real well for my next sleep spell" is amazing
We actually use the owlbear one quite a lot, but instead of an owlbear we say murlock.
Don't know where it started but it always cracks me up 😂😂😂
I think it started with a Hearthstone card that said "your mother was a murloc" when it was played
@@cyberbearbonjour interesting
@@cyberbearbonjour i must know
Yep. Saving all of these for if I ever play a bard again
I think here is a another good one for the BBEG ask them if they if there is a real threatening villain around as you failed to find one. Also "Your mother is so ugly the local hag coven sued her for ruining their public image."
" EZEKIEL!" That legendary reference 😂
Bard: I think you're an awesome singer, you should sing more often!
Guard: Wait, really?
Bard: Oh, sorry, I was actually talking to that gelatinous cube over there.
I appreciate the Monty Python references throughout this. That's one of my favorite movies.
Bard: insults the Guard.
The Guard: Alright, bring in the Tar Couldron.
"I have never met anyone who looked better with an acid splash to the face" Gods damn wow that was harsh and incredible all at the same time.
I like how these are in an actual world now instead of just a room.
Got to write some of these down! Literally couldn't stop laughing until the end(surprised the bard didn't kill anyone with Vicious Mockery)
Using vicious mockery on town guards is abuse of a farm animal. Villagers don't like it when you beat up their pigs.
AND HE STICKS THE LANDING! That ending was amazing!
Once we were facing off against a pirate captain. As our ship neared arrow range and we prepared for battle, one party member launched a “yo mama” joke that had absolutely no impact. So, somebody else told the captain his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries. The captain was deeply offended, even more so by the fact that I kept casting prestidigitation to soul his clothes.
Isn't Prestidigitation supposed so make things *cleaner*? I'm pretty sure it's supposed to make things cleaner... 😆
@@rianorixalaunana357 It can do both, I'm pretty sure.
@@rianorixalaunana357 yeah but you can do the opposite too!
It can also make things smell like other things.
@@unevennoble9363 huh. I’ll have to do that sometime lol. I’ll probably make everything smell like mayonnaise
the whole video i was waitng for the "your mother was an ... and your father smelled like ..." line
we even got the eziekiel joke
Any chance I could get you to explain the Ezekiel joke? 😂
same here with the monty python.
@@timbauer399 Find the Kungfu Panda 2 video with Ezekiel joke
I will be using these insults in my Campaign
"Your mother's favorite monster is a beholder and dragon. She likes to behold these nuts dragging across her face."
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
this would be perfect for a distraction in like a heist game!
He's still standing. "Since when do guards have proficiency in Wisdom saving throws?"
They dump INT, not WIS.
One Guard being insulted, while the other is being... flirted with?
Wouldn't be the strangest thing a party would do...
th-cam.com/users/shortsNa7ErUfu7MQ
I love when channels I support support other channels I support. This is awesome.
"I know you're not an elf because you decided to adventure with us." (The party wide insult)
I’m guessing that the 2nd guy on the wall was dealing with Tony.
Me “I wonder if he will make a Monty python reference.”
“You’re mother is an owl bear and your father smelled of good berries.”
Me “yes he did the thing… wait how does he know what his father smells like though?”
I'm going to have to remember, "your face looks like it could use a casting of Cure Wounds." And maybe add, "at 9th level!"
Damn, gotta write some of these down for vicious mockery
Kudos to those guards. They can take a number of insults and still committed to their guard duties.
...what's wrong with having an owlbear as a mom? 😮
She can rip people in half just fine. What more can you ask?
No wonder the bard took off after that last taunt, Mama Owlbear will f him up 🤣
The ACTUAL line is:
Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of Elderberries
Explaination - Hamsters are prolific breeders in the wild and elderberries were made into wine, thus mom was a slut and dad was a drunk.
Me havin vicious mockery with a d10 and 22 of charisma and bard insparation "im about to mess him up"
Oh my gosh this is perfect. When the first guard asked the second what he's dealing with the first thing I thought of was Ezekiel. I'm glad you didn't disappoint. This is freaking awesome!
Could you please explain the Ezekiel reference? I really want to be in on the joke. 🙏🙏🙏
I also don't understand the Ezekiel part, please explain?
@@Stevelover0267@Tim Bauer TH-cam video:Tony and Ezekiel
I loved all the Monty Python references. Thank you for this
This sounds like some kind of skit where the bard is distracting the gate guards so the rest of the party can sneak around.
Legend has it that the Bard is still insulting people to this very day.
Love it! Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference. The your mother was an owlbear and your father was smelled of goodberries, makes me laugh every time. 😂😂😂
I need to write these down for vicious mockery.
That ending is extremely underrated 😂😂😂 EZEKIEL!
That was a clever attempt by a bard to assassinate that guard with vicious mockery.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is my favorite movie ever, so this certainly put a smile on my face
Those roasts were as heat as a wizard casting fireball (And dying of 1d4 emotional damage afterwards)
This stuff is great material for my bard character.
Watched this on osqtv yesterday and had a hard time not laughing to loud since i was at work lol
That was brutal! So horrific! Inconceivable!
How dare that guy ask for a name!
monty python as an opening gag, love it
"Bring that face over to my sword so I can make some improvements" is wild
And that's how the other guard lost his name to a fae.
Or how a guard became the subject of every players’ attention span (and led them to derail the campaign.)
My favourite insult has to be one from Ps:T - "You have a face only sledgehammer could love, and HAD"
As the Aasimar jumps off the wall pops his wings and and smites the bard with extra radiant soul damage
"your mom is an owlbear"
how do you know ?
"Just a guy asking my name. EZEKIEL!"
We all know where this is going.
no we don't, plz help
Bards and other users of Vicious Mockery, take your notes!
Chef kiss to that ending.
*Ahem*
Both your mind and your spine will be obtuse when I'm done with you.
Love Luke and the DM Lair. You guys should do an Ad-Barian and Barbarian team up.
'You look like you could benefit from the invisibility spell.'
Me: reads thumbnail
My barbarian who got raised by an owlbear: So this is the kind of videos you watch, huh?
When Shorsey plays a Bard and uses Vicious Mockery
Ha! I get that reference!
“Your cooking is so bad no poison resist will save you”
Love the Monty Python adaptation for the bit. They would be proud.
Man just went out of his way to insult the poor guard
Love the homage to Monty Python.
What is the fly speed of a Red Dragon?
What do you mean? A wyrmling or any other Red Dragon?
Huh? I don't know that! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Here to study for Vicious Mockery 101
Damn what level is that paladin to tank all that psychic damage?
The Monty Python reference at the beginning is perfect.
I expected him to dump hot oil on the dude
Some of my favorites being: "Last time you saw a Succubus, didn't she wanted to only stay friend?"
Or in case of the reciever was the Succubus: "Damn, last time I went to Cania it was hotter than you"
Ok you really got me at the end there.
Lol these will work great for Vicious Mockery
I assume the guy asking for the guard's name was Tony.
3:48 I was gonna comment that I was surprised you didn't make that joke. Glad I was wrong
All that for a monty python reference, love this channel
"What did you do to draw the ire of [insert deity of beauty] that bad?"
im starting a new campaign tomorrow and i really want to use these at some point
This is why kingdoms poured hot oil from their guard house positions.
I need to remember these insults for when I play a bard.
In our game, one of our players characters adoptive dad got reverse crucified and we made it a recurring joke to tell him his dad died when he acts dumb, and our dm even makes his ghost tel him to clean the poop deck randomly
"Do you understand common, or need I cast speak with animals?"
I had a player use something similar at the table once for a vicious mockery attack.
I'd skip the wisdom saving throw if they could make anyone at the table laugh...
"Your mother was an owlbear and your father had a thing for the smell of wet fur!"
I know this is an old video, but the best dwarf insult is, "Your momma braids her beard into to handles."
If I could hit the like button any harder I would. That ending was PERFECT!
I loved the Monty Python reference in the beginning.
Nice "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" set piece and reference lolol
“You look like a first edition beholder”
Vicious mockery in a whole other level
lmfao i love the ending i just watched that Ezekiel video
that last line made me laugh so hard it was silent
Alt ending:guard:*shoots him dead*
Love your videos man
Such a great monty python reference
Now I know what video to reference if I make a Lawful Evil character.
My favorite has always been from TFS at the table "Your momma was so fat a gelatinous cube got sucked into her".
I'm gonna have to remember "your mother was an owlbear and your father smelled of goodberries" for my totally-not-a-Monty-Python-parody NPC
I see you also played "Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator"!