Life is a transition and journey to our true form. No place on earth is permanent not even our lifestyle and life we choose to create an identity to be that ideal human being. Soul is a great movie bdw and so is Seoul ...just a great movie enjoy it in your current avatar.
Korea is really wonderful as a tourist destination but the day to day societal pressure is pretty awful. The hierarchy is also a bit too much. It’s really tiring
Every country has its flaw. US has day to day societal sense of entitlement. The US didn’t have a sense of hierarchy as their defined duties/position or career is disposable.
Also the police/safety. Cases like the missing boys,the kid getting rape,the air force sargent suicide due to rape from colleague, rampant spy cam in toilet etcetc The police dgaf or cover up. There is no justice.
Even as tourist destination , it is not as rich in culture/heritage/landscape/food/interesting spot etc as Japan or China . The fashion style is not as fierce n diverse as Japan n Hongkong . Architecture building n Art Museum are so so, basically they only have Kpop, Kdrama or Plastic Surgery Destination to be sold . And University, kudos for it
@@santiagocalatrava6488 A lot of what you mention is subjective, but you shouldn't mistake your lack of knowledge or appreciation of something for that something not existing or lacking. Also, you don't need to deprecate a country to celebrate another. I personally enjoyed Korea as much as Japan and much more than China. But I wouldn't say one is better than another. It comes down to my preferences and exposure.
1. Don’t move somewhere just because you like their cultural products (music, games, TV). 2. Don’t move somewhere just to find yourself. Movies push that narrative that confused souls can discover themselves when they make a big change of surroundings, this is fantasy (usually made to encourage tourism). 3. If you’re miserable where you are (unless you’re in genuine danger), moving just brings the misery to a new place. Like if you’re fighting with your family, and mom suggests you go on vacation to bring the family together, then you’re just someplace new still hating each other and can’t escape back.
People romanticize foreign places too much. They make it seem like these places are paradise or have no problems which is completely not true. I honestly feel bad for the people who are sucked into believing that foreign places are perfect and that if they move there their lives will be perfect. It’s honestly just a waste of time and money to move to a place just because you like their culture or you think you will have no problems there.
As a Korean person who’s now living in Canada, and had lived in Japan and moved to Canada again. I love my country for what we(Korean people) have achieved after Korean war(1950) and also my country’s culture and food. However, the reason why I moved here is also culture of Korea and Japan society. Being in SK and Japan society was really hard to be just ME. I cannot really explain exactly but I can say that there’re some standards and if you don’t fit or follow, you’ll be feeling like a weirdo or an outsider both of country. As a person who loves to be my self, moved to Canada. By far it’s been one of my best decision in my life. Good thing of what I noticed is that SK young generation people are aware of it and trying to change step by step. It will take time but I think it’s gonna be happend.
Totally agree. For the very same reason, I travelled to Australia to focus on myself. As a Korean, Korea was like a bubble to me. When i was living there for 25 years till i left to Australia, i didn’t realize much that I was losing myself and was just busy fitting in whatever the standard is. I only felt that something is going wrong with me since i often felt empty or depressed out of tiring to keep up with the society standard. Definitely it will change over time since our young generation is slowly catching up with this problem and challenging it.
My experience in Japan was not the same... I felt like japan is more accepting and the people are less judgemental while korean people were more hostile and rascist toward me They would constantly remind me I'm an outsider studying in Korea and would pass remarks on my looks while Japanese were more welcoming and minded their own business never once they made me feel I'm an outsider or looked different Funny thing is before moving to Korea I though they would be more open minded about foreigners but to my surprise it was the opposite I would love to move back to Japan in future
@@dhimankalita1690 Japanese are far less in your face with discrimination. Both countries tend to be quite xenophobic. Japan is better at pretending they aren't. So even though they aren't telling you off directly to your face, they are doing it behind your back. It's honne tatemae culture. Also, experiences differ. I know people that love Korea and Japan. I know people that hate them. But you can't deny xenophobia exists in these countries.
arnold the great What are you a born again Christian trying to save vloggers from the fires of hell for being vain or just another incel who wants a bowl of rice porridge.
The first time I moved abroad to teach, someone gave me this piece of advice: "Remember that a plane ride doesn't change your character." Your video reminded me of that. Thanks for your honesty in this video and your insightful, balanced perspective!
Thank you for such a wonderful comment! It really makes putting out videos like this worth it. Oh how I wish I had received that advice before making the move here haha. Idk if things would have played out differently but it would have nice to know. Thanks for watching 😁
When you have to interact with a completely new place and you do so from your ideal self, it brings forth that new response that you can't have with where you are just every old day.
I was just talking about this yesterday with my girlfriend. I'm a Korean American currently living in Korea for around 6 years and my girlfriend is native Korean who studied abroad in England. We both really don't like living in here because there are A LOT of toxic people. No, it's not the worst country or anything. But, korean people have become superficial and narcissistic on a new level that the world has never seen. It is truly unfortunate, because many know that Korea advance really fast in a short period of time. But advancement that is too fast has also its negative side effects. Just like if children grow up too fast they behave different than children that went through all the early stages naturally, korea developed too fast, catching up with the first world countries in the world and the people paid for it in the process. They paid for it by becoming hyper-competitive and having super high unrealistic standards of living. Because of this a lot of people are extremely judgmental in here. Also look down on people a lot. If you're ever planning to live in Korea you better have a strong mind and be extremely positive. But even the strongest minds eventually break down if you encounter toxicity on a daily basis. Good luck to you if you ever come here.
Yupp! Great points and to add to it, you can see it in their infrastructure, where it's super high tech in one area, tall building, expensive shopping districts and then in some areas, 5 minutes over, dead. Just super rural and still looks like they're are 5 years behind. It's very interesting to observe all of this.
@@Will_ly indeed my friend indeed. Stay strong and remember there are many people in Korea who are going through exactly what you're experiencing. You're not alone.
I've read the same thing about china. They grew 'too quickly' and so they have an older generation who went through a great depression and really struggled. Suddenly, much of their people came into money and got a big ego about it, but didn't take enough time to educate themselves as a whole. This is why I've heard that Chinese are considered some of the worst, rude, and inconsiderate tourists
When I was in college I looked forward to being 30 because I thought I’d be settled and have it all figured out by then, PFfft! I’m 63 now and just retired from 20 years of teaching (which was not in any original plan.) Every year I grow and change and instead of making that “right” decision or figuring out where I belong, I have found that all stages of life are transitions. People change what they are doing ALL the time. Full lives are filled with a wide variety of experiences. You are off to a great start! Enjoy!!
So true, I used to life so linearly but that isn't true at all, life and yourself as an individual is constantly changing. Thanks for watching, it's nice to know that we're all still figuring it out no matter what age we are!
Excellent comment. And may I add, some of the seemingly "negative periods" in life are now looked back on with fondness and value. I wouldn't change anything; they were instrumental in growth.
yeah i understand entirely where you come from. i thought the same. now i’m 26 and my life is a complete mess i feel and i don’t see it change any time soon. people often say life is what you make but they’re big time liars.
@@bellabon8952I’ve had plenty of times when I looked around and thought, “this sucks! I don’t want credit for making this life.” Now I think that life is more complex than that. It’s a blend: the situation your are born into, the DNA that gives you psychological and emotional tendencies as well as physical traits, random minor and major events that happen, the choices that you make each day, and the work that you do to prepare for what you want to bring into your life. Most of those things are not in our control. To a large degree you have to “Play the cards your dealt”, which sometimes sucks. Concentrate on the things you are in control of. Be kind to yourself. Remember that most transitions aren’t smooth. You are moving from one stage to another, unfamiliar one, out of your “comfort zone.” That’s growth, but sometimes it happens so slowly it’s hard to notice until you’re looking back on it. At times when you are frustrated and sick of your problems, focus outward. Do something for someone else. That’s a win, win. It works wonders! P.S. when I was 26 my life was a hot mess too!
Even if your self-esteem were high at the beginning, if your environment is toxic, be it social, relational, or even professional your self-esteem will erode. Having self-reflection helps also have supportive friends or families to discuss things with enabling you to see another perspective; that it is not always about you. Being assertive and establishing clear boundaries will go a long way to maintain healthy self-esteem.
So true especially the part where it's not always about you. Toxic things happen and it isn't always within your control to handle that, sometimes the best thing to do is to step away. Giving yourself space to respect your own boundaries. Thanks for the insight!
I lived in Korea for 5 years, the heirarchy on age is so strange to me. Koreans will try to bully you because you're a foreigner or just because they are older than you or you're just new in the company. When I was working there, 2 middle aged koreans who are newly hired tried to order me around. Clean this/Clean that, I never followed what they said, I just smiled at them, this is the best action to annoy a Korean. They told to every koreans that I was lazy, little they know that I was a pioneer in the company. They got reprimanded by the Manager and told them not to annoy me or order me around because they are only on probation and I'm their senior. The other one is smart enough to change his attitude and always follow what everything I want him to do, the other one quit because my drinking buddies, koreans older than him gave him a hard time. I was not bullied in Korea in 4 different companies I worked to because I choose not to. There will always be toxic people anywhere, you just don't need to care.
That's weird ngl... the me mentality of some people because of the hierarchy system is so odd to me. In a sense it's good but in these settings all it does is repeat a cycle of abusing power because of age 😅 glad youre doing well though
I always felt like a proper "Respect your elders." should just be "don't be an immature brat." to your elders. Yes they know more, but even older people can still be in the wrong. That's why I always felt hierarchy in a deconstruct seems like "Yeah, I should respect you because your parents did the tango in bed earlier than your parents." Those who are just older and flexing their age in a place where you're the senior never made sense, and they get mad when the senior is supposed to be more knowledgable in the field.
You seem like a person who feel things at a deeper level than most and as someone in the same boat, I wanted to reach out and say what you are doing is beautiful. You are using your experiences and pains to keep others from experiencing them and that's the most meaningful way to turn darkness into light. Sending lots of love and cheers to your healing journey.
Awh thank you so much! I'm glad that it was able to resonate with you and I hope that because we are in the same boat it was a bit healing for you as well! Best to your journey too and that we are both able to reach our end goal of self love and healing 😊
@@Will_ly Thank you so much! It was incredibly healing watching your video and your honesty. When most people encounter toxicity, they become toxic too. But you chose not to and use your experiences to educate others. To teach, is to touch a life forever. You are a wonderful teacher both to your students and to anyone who may encounter you in life. It gives me the strength to do the same and work positively towards self love and acceptance. Thank you for making these content and sharing your experiences.
I do not like the mentality “ don’t talk back and just do as you’re told “ and I feel like this is how Koreans think. And also the cancel culture is big there. Every small mistake you make you have to apologize like you burned someone’s house down. I think that’s very toxic. I love the culture but I think I’m gonna keep loving it from a distance.
This is so true.. I have faced this... My roommates were Koreans who were way older than me.. they were the most kind and good people iv come across but when it comes to sharing of opinion or making decisions.. that's when the problem starts.. because I am younger than them . .. they get offended when I want to do things my way or share my opinion and I end up apologizing. ..one time one of the roomate told me to apologize to the other person... I was mentally so stressed out living with them... Not they are bad but they are very conservative.
Having lived in and worked in six different countries as a consultant, (shortest being 6months, longest 1.5 years) I can legitimately say each country really does have its perks but also downsides too. I can favour no country above the other as all impress and yet disappoint, expectations are set and none are met. Even returning home is a let down after being away. The best way I have learnt to prepare was to learn the countries history, culture and people before the move.
Haha this is true, even going home can be a let down 😅 but yes learning more about the country, culture and yourself will go a long way with developing healthy expectations
Could you perhaps rank which countries disappointed you the least and the most? Or would that be hard as you have only lived in those places short-term? (You don't have to answer me if you don't want to. I'm just curious. xD)
I think when you're a little kid you find so much joy in such simple things. And then as you become an adult, that mentality does a 180 and you start the never-ending grind of having a stable income, a bomb ass career, an exemplary significant other, a dedicated fitness regime and so many other things. And we rush to accomplish all of this as quickly as we possibly can because we're convinced that happiness is only in big milestones. Then when you see other people living the big life and you compare it directly with your own, you begin to wonder if you're just taking up space by existing. You end up at war with yourself and the world, completely unarmed. There's a lot of joy packed into small, everyday things. But when your focus is on all that you haven't done and all that you haven't become, you tend to miss them and then those small opportunities to really be immersed within the happiness of a moment cease to exist. And then one day when you look back- you'll have realized that you never really appreciated any singular moment in your life because you were too busy worrying about a day that hadn't happened yet. It's sad, really. Though I'm always aware that this sort of thing is constantly occurring, I often find no solution other than numbing myself with a stupid film or a song on repeat.
LOOL you encapsulated this so well I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all. It's a sad sate of mind we have trapped ourselves in that's for sure. Trying so hard to be happy that we're all just suffering on the inside, but through social media and everything, we pretend to be okay because that's how it should be 😅 I feel the same though, I find myself just losing myself in music or something mundane just to runaway from it all even if just for a moment. Thanks for the comment and for watching, best to the both of us
“We start to romanticize this idea that life’s problems would be solved by this next big thing/achievement.” Wow this really hit hard.. i’ve been going through the same experience recently.. thanks for sharing man 🙂
It's so easy to get into that mindset right, especially when thing right now might not be happening the way you want them to. Thanks for watching, wish you the best!
I’m about to move to HK to study my masters degree. I’ve been unhappy with my life during the past few years and wanted this change in the hope that I would be able to live happier and meet new people. I’m really scared now after watching this video and hearing this... I’m afraid nothing will change and I’ll be in the same mental crisis I’ve always been. Hopefully things will go fine
@@lynako2546 it won't change anything. u might feel good for first few months then sadness sets in. The problem is with the mental state. If it is happy kind then the place does not matter.
@@lynako2546 Hey man, just do what your tummy tells you ! Be mentally prepared because studying abroad etc is always stress (everywhere). You never know what will happen there, you could make new good friends, or maybe can cook different things, hit the gym etc etc. So don't worry, no one will force you to stay or move away. If you ever feel sad, sit down, think about all the pro's and con's you had/have and sleep a day. But in the end and that is the most important thing! You gained experiences ! So be chill, and know that it won't be that easy but its all doable :)
Thank you for this video. I lived in Korea for six years and I loved it. But the pressure from lookism, being an outsider, and even the hierarchy put on skin color/country slowly starts to eat away at you and the crazy thing is that you don´t realize how it is influencing you until it is too late. I feel like I went to Korea with high self esteem, confidence, and value but it slowly eroded over time. Self love is fluid. No matter how much work you continue to do on yourself, if your environment is overwhelmingly toxic, you will suffer. I think this can happen anywhere you live. Moving abroad will always costs you something, make sure it isn´t yourself.
Korea is odd to me. My experience as an intern/student, was fun..as a teacher it was absolutely terrible. The toxicity was pretty bad too but I met a lot of people who were genuinely nasty/toxic.
Yeah, I think that's just the farce you get when traveling abroad. A lot of people are looking for a support system during their travels and can tend to hide their true nature to do so. It's can definitely take a toll when you're constantly "cherry-picking" friends to keep around good energy. Thanks for watching! Hope you get to experience more traveling with less toxicity soon!
@@Will_ly You're absolutely right and I didn't think about that in terms of being a student. Everyone's new and they really just want a group of people to be around. When you're a teacher everyone's been there for a while and you also experience Korean parents/ strict work culture. Also, thank you! Keep up the good content.
@@honeypear1363 Yes, I agree. The older Koreans I worked with had the same traits when I was a teacher. Another odd thing is, a lot of them will incorrectly correct your English - which was a little frustrating. There's a huge superiority complex (for some Koreans, not all). (Ex. An adult Korean student thought it was incorrect to say, "there's a 20% chance of rain on Tuesday." Instead of saying they didn't understand, they straight up said I was wrong and that it sounded unnatural. xD) However, by all means, Korea is a good country to visit for vacation. I understand not wanting to live there.
@@ebrarara It kind of means like people will say something about you, judge you, etc or something like that becuase you are who you are, but that's what makes you unique from everyone, who are all the same. Sorry, not good with words but I hope it helped :)
I moved to Korea in February and not gonna lie even though I am not Korean the beauty standards have really hit. I love a lot about Korea but the beauty standards really hit me. Even when I am at the gym I’m very insecure.
I feel that, the beauty standards here are really high. It can be very difficult to avoid especially when there is a very obvious one style that most Koreans seem to conform to. If you find yourself to be susceptible to the standards, take the time to visit foreigner hotspots or visit Seoul and Busan where its less conservative. It helped remind me that I don't have to uphold to the same beauty standards here 😁
@@Will_ly I have lived in Korea for 5 years. I Don't fit in the beauty standards but what i do have Im a tall girl with big boobs and a juicy booty 😆😆😆😆
@@itisikk656 hahaha still in korea exist the standard of being slim? Because i wanna go there. But same as you i'm a thick girl with big boobs and a juicy booty. 😂
I read so many young (very young) people overthinking in the comments haha. It's normal, though. I am 31. When I was 21-22 I didn't know what to do with my life at all. People here in Spain were suffering the 2008 crisis and many my age moved to London. It was the "promised land" that time. There are all kind of stories. Many acquaintances had it rough, others ok, some still live in the UK, though I don't know about anyone living in London proper (capitals are brutal, and I guess for Seoul this is multiplied tenfold). The thing is young people especially nowadays gather so much information before experiencing themselves that it is simply too much. I would say, if you love Korea, the language, the culture (usually due to the influence of its soft power: dramas, kpop, etc.) just go there! The experience will enrich you for sure, even if its hard or sad. Life is a collection of experiences. The problem is, when you are very young, and this happened to me as well, you really don't accept "failure", not even envisioning failure. That is what hurts the most, that many young people dream of living a perfect Korean life forever. That is most, most, most likely not going to happen. PS: about me, I was overthinking so bad I never moved to the UK or anywhere else. Experience missed! Hahaha
How do you know they're young? Are you a secret agent 😎 But yes especially nowadays the younger generation is bombarded with so many options they just unsure of everything. Sometimes you just have to do it and experience it for yourself to see if its fit for you. Thanks for sharing best! You still have the chance to visit the UK 😄
Every time I hear one of these, I realize it's always about the relationships. Having healthy relationships can get you through the hardest times. Having the right people can really help you a ton, but it's never easy to find in a new country.
The K-dramas I've thrown myself into during the past few months have shown me that people's real lives are so hectic in Korea and the world in general, and not to get carried away with romanticizing the aesthetic life we see online. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing these insights with us, Will! 😌
@@Will_ly Bad City: Vile Guys, Stranger, Designated Survivor 60 Days, The Lies Within, The World of the Married, Voice, Hyena, It's okay to not be okay, etc lol I'm addicted to law, crime and justice dramas 🙈
I see Korea as a great escape like a 1-2 month vacation just to live my fantasies but I know for a fact I cannot live in their society. It's like forced role playing. Even the superficial things could have grave repercussions.
I think the fantasy would dtart to fall apart in less than 1-2 months. Its too long. By that point you'll start to see the massive issues in society. Don't ruin it for yourself
THIS ❤️🩹 frfr, I’ve been here since March 2020, as amazing as the scenery, food, cuteness, nightlife and the absolute BEAUTY of the women here, it feels like I’m living in a endless cycle of the Matrix, everyone seems to be so consumed with technology and how the look. It’s like they barely look at the natural world anymore
You actually don’t need to live in SK for a few years to know what the society is like. From Burning Sun scandal to sasaeng culture to K-netizens criticizing every little mistake anyone famous does, it’s all so obvious. Even the use of marijuana gets you treated like you’re a serial killer not worth living. Mind you, not all Koreans are like that. But many are. Then again, when someone wants an escape so badly, yes he/she can wear rose-colored glasses unintentionally… most importantly though, it’s not just SK. Every country has problems of its own and toxicity of its own. Living anywhere new will require an open mind, almost 0 expectations and mental flexibility.
Some Korean had just say they want him dead on a TH-cam interview. Like.... I know they're wearing mask but not even a speck of shame to wish death for a person who haven't been convicted yet nor was his indictment was anything death deserving. Sad for people living among them. Monsters do exist living within their society and they should pick up a mirror if not pee a puddle for themselves to see.
Erring on the conservative side is something I really like about s.korea and absolutely hate about America at the same token i do understand foreigners dissatisfaction and heavy burdensome feeling of constantly living up to society's expectations/standards. It can be really overwhelming
Truee. Nice word. My country had a bitter mouth to all of our country citizens, and treat outsider like a king and queen, even if they were poor. They get jelly and very toxic to our real citizens. But some were not. Some were just nice, but they keep be silent went bad things come. By putting a 0 expectation, it can give you more greatest feeling. You can't change people, but you can change yourself, especially your way of perspective and thinking. Just change what you can change, so you can feel much way better and have a nice and peacefull life♡
Hmmm, Korea is a country I wanna love from afar lol. I wanna visit cos I'm a big fan of Kdrama and their savory food, but I don't see myself living there. Anyway, I do think it would have been better if u were more specific though. Glad u're in a better space now.🙌🏿
It doesn’t seem like the best place for brown and black people from things I’ve heard. There are clubs that discriminate based on skin color and jobs that specifically want “pretty” or “handsome” white foreigners and will reject black and brown applicants.
I am an American who decided to spend an extended amount of time in Mexico to study, work, and just live. The first part of my journey was wonderful. I had highly romanticized the culture and was in love with everything. Mexico could do no wrong. Then I went through a dark phase in which it all flipped around and it seemed like the worst place in the world. Nothing went right and I hated it. Then after more timed passed, I came to the realization that it was just a country;, no worse nor better than any other place. That is the balance that long term expats have to find. But you have to hang in there for quite awhile before you feel it kick in. I wish you the best in your journey.
Thanks for sharing! It's true that you have to find a balance and not expect anything more than your own country because every country has their flaws.
I'm from Mexico, and yes, in this country we have good things and bad things, just as other countries. I really would like to live in other country because here it's a lot of insecurity and corruption...
@@nimdailoth8115 I'd recommend USA or Canada because they're the closest western countries to Mexico and lack the depressive and harsh social culture of Japan and S. Korea.
México is a great country, but we have so many security and economic problems. I’m so sorry you went through a bad phase in here, hope you’re better now
I don’t live in Korea but I do live in abroad and everything you have said is spot on. Whichever country one moves to, one has to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the cultural differences. Thank you for your video 🤗
It took me 15 years to adjust to the US, and start calling it home, and I only moved from Germany (western to western move). It's hard, because you find out that your cultural and societal ties and ways of thinking are more attached to your childhood and teenage home than you think they would be.
For sure that's something that I've been dwelling on. Just because you've spent an extensive time in one area, your roots always seem to reach to where you grew up!
my friends (Filipinos) since High School, being here in the US for 17+ yrs (we’re in age ranges 31-34 yrs old). We still cannot figure it out if we’re still have a societal ties or ways of thinking between the two(Americanized or Filipino Upbringings ) However, that one thing in common with my friends are being trapped into student debt, mortgage, eating American junkie foods., unnecessary credit card purchases, Politics and their non-sense freedom that we didn’t buy into. It is not because it’s American but this are some of the flawed that Americans are ignorant about.
I can relate... I've been in the US for almost 9 years, I am from Slovakia, and lately I've been coming up with more reasons to return to Europe than stay here... I do like some aspects of life in the US, but my life here has been far from being perfect. Well at the end of the day, I realized it's just relationships and people that matter the most to me and I am more attached to folks back home than here
@@Tatiana-cd1vu I can relate too. I am from Slovakia and moved to the UK 16 years ago. Part of my heart is always in Slovakia with my family and friends, but also staying there for more than 3 weeks just gets too much, as it reminds me of all the reasons I left. Recently, I have worked on a North European project and got to experience their work culture too and I hated it. It crushed my dream of working in continental Europe one day. At the same time British culture still feels foreign, the world superpower mentality is something that still makes me nauseous, I imagine U.S. is similar in that respect. Yet I love UK work culture... I think what I've achieved in the last 16 years is that I have multiple homes, but none at the same time.😆
This video speaks of my truth. Thought that being in a different country would make everything better and later realized im still the same person with same emotions.
its okay to be the same person, especially when you have always been honest to yourself. But you can play roles. You can conveniently repress some behaviors, if you understand that the truth in your pass may just be an illusion and the present gives you an opportunity for reinvention.
I taught in Korea for 4 years, discovered a passion for teaching (real teaching - not ESL and hagwon bullsh**) through it, made some of the best friends I've ever had, and learned almost fluent korean. Korea always holds a very special place in my heart, but life there can be very toxic, especially in Seoul. The people you deal with are just unbearable, across all jobs. I think i really did succeed in finding myself there. Years 1-3 were rough, then year 4 I started to really find happiness. You really have to put a bubble around yourself and ignore the society around you and turn inwards. I did a lot of yoga and meditation. I detached myself from the aspects of Korean culture I didn't like, like the standards, stress, homogeneity, etc. I was the happiest after I stopped trying to assimilate and just decided to be myself - which wasn't at all in line with Korean standards. I was still respectful obviously, and I always spoke korean and never expected anyone to speak english regardless how complicated the situation was. But the more I did that, the more I started to kind of feel like an outsider, although I was feeling happier in my own life. That's just the crux of living abroad. You'll never be part of that society no matter what. That's when I decided to make the leap and come back to America. Leaving was a good decision. I might go back, because again it has my heart, and there's so many aspects of life in Korea that I just absolutely adore (and so many things I hate about America, lol) but at least just getting away from Korea for a few months for some perspective and a breather, it's really a game changer. It'll always be back and forth for me though, as my to-be husband is Korean. But I am very content now with the idea of that, and I absolutely will go back to Korea to live again, but hopefully just not in the English teaching career.
I feel this on another level! Trying so hard to blend in initially is arguably toxic in its own right. You'll always feel out of place and unsure of who you are especially when the culture itself is very different from you own. I do plan on going home soon as well because I think you're right, I just need a breather. Hopefully you get the chance to come back again, seeing as your fluent and about to be married to a Korean I'm sure you'll find something more than just an English teaching job. Best and thanks for watching!
Ngl where ever u live we do find toxic ppl around us ( if some1 wanna make u feel an outsider tho u r not they'll do) the place where I was born and currently living is just same as other places in this world (just my opinion) these ppl do comment on my body weight or how I talk or behave, eat, sleep etc which is not harming them in any form or shape still gotta be judgemental I just ignore these ppl (or what else u can do man, tho they're educated enough still act as illerate i don't wanna waste my time on them) just wanna happily and want to share positive energy as mush as possible...
Wow, this is a great write-up! I wish I could feel so free to be myself, but I've had a slightly different experience. After the "honeymoon phase" in Korea, I started to notice the homogeneity, snobbery, and general competitiveness in Korea and just felt like I'd gotten into a coffin that I couldn't get out of. After graduate school, I'm definitely going to move back to America because I cannot deal with how superficial and shallow the culture is here. I just feel like I used to be such a good person, but Korea has really worn down that innocence.
As an italian dreaming about Korea for quite some time, i want to say thank you for helping me face a burden I've been dealing with in silence. It was this toxic thing where I kinda knew I wanted to move and base my life on travelling experiences just because I hoped changing places would help me change myself as well and escape from problems, but I couldn't admit it. Thank you for helping me address that, and know that all around the world there are people struggling with a lot of stuff, so you're never alone! Thank you for sharing, I hope you're doing better by now❤️
Yeahh! No problem, it's always a bit healing to knownthat we're not suffering alone! I do hope that you're able to address those issue and get the chance to travel. I'm doing better, how are you?
It's a great thing to realize you even have a problem, so be proud of that. Many people grow old, but never admit that they have problems until the day they die. If you're willing to be open with yourself and realize you need to make a change, it's a great first step to actually making that change. It can be great, but you don't NEED to make a big change (like moving to a new country) to change yourself. Change happens anywhere, all the time, if you open yourself to it and allow it to happen :)
I lived there for 5 years since i got scholarship at yonsei. I can feel what you felt. It’s tiring to always overdo the korean students just to prove them i deserve to be here. Even some students said “can a se asians even compete here?” or “why the heck is our government gave endowment to se asians instead of us?” and it hurts since it was just because of where i came from. But after i gained some korean friends, i gained back my confidence. I can now even tell them back “yeah, said a someone who use parent money, such a burden”🤣 i know it’s mean, but at least it boosted my confidence, and it put them back to their place. Just to remind you that u HAVE something that they don’t, that is the power to endure being minority.
Tell me more about yonsei. I tried my luck this year for yonsei too, can you teach me some hint so i can be more outstanding to be choosen by yonsei? Hehe
Btw they just jealous and put you down so they can feel much higher and better, but they don't. It just make you much higher instead, especially you've got some ball to hit them up sarcastically lol. KEEP IT UP.
Couldn't agree more. I live in Germany and here's also not everything perfect. You can always meet bad and toxic people, regardless were you. You will always meet typical Problems like korrupt Politicians, radical people, a "If you don't agree with you're my enemy" -Attitude, unrealistic beauty standards, judgement, high standards for school, life and work and also bullying. Specifically in Germany we have a Huge culture of envy and complaining, a staring culture, a tendency to very strictly follow rules (even if they are kinda stupid), a lot of unnecessary bureaucracy and a high Expectation when it comes to working hard.
i felt this on a deep level. i've been in korea for 8 months now and i'm definitely in that phase of "who am i, what am i doing here, why am i not happy, i should be happy IM IN KOREA" it was nice to hear that im not the only one struggling with that. thank you for sharing your story!
The oppa Hunter should watch this, I'm sick of people trying too hard to beautify Korea just because they watch K-drama. I'm from conservative country, there's a lot of difficulty. But compared to skorea, I'm kinda relieved I'm not born and have to live there for the rest of my life in Korea. Toxic, patriarchy, hierarchy, bullying, Hippocrates, double standard, dominance sindrom. they live in artificial world where seems like everything is not good enough. Of course not every single of them like that, i made a couple of friend. Just keep it in your mind if you have a plan to stay here, things can be rough. Ps. If you're white this won't matter thoo, they love White ppl, probably more than they love their ppl.
@@harukrentz435 some experience is different for a different people. my colleague was from quebec he was extremely discriminated in his teaching job in seoul.
You are right..i m not from korea but I was most koreans directly say on their social networking site profiles that they love people from there,want to have relationship there,love between SK and their flags amd even say dont knock me if u r not from those selective countries.. Another thing I didnt like their young boys are so unrestrained .. They take pervertness as normal.. 😑 obviously all are not like that but moslty 🙂 This was enough for me to give trauma about them
i dont agree w the last part. my dad is white and they definitely didnt treat him better, but they did treat him a lot differently than they would to their own ppl
as a korean I'm sorry for what you've been through. but in positive way, through that experience, I thought you've learned how to deal with relationships more than ever. that will be your one of the valuable assets
A few years ago when I way in the beginning of my teenage years I really wanted to korea. As I grew older I still like Korea but inly to the point that I don't have the huge desire to live there anymore. I wouldn't say no if someone offered me but I am also not forcing it. I would like to live there for the scenery but not for the people.
Definitely, Korea has a lot to offer so I hope someone throws that offer to you someday 😁 there's a lot to experience and gain from traveling abroad, especially in Korea. Thanks for watching!
As someone who's lived in four different countries, I would say there is some truth to what you say. Moving to another country (or to another city in your own country) because you're interested in the culture is fine, but you need to take care of your own personal issues first. But that's what your 20s are for--you should be self-reflecting and improving on yourself. For some people, changing your environment is that push you need, while for others it doesn't help fix the problems at all. On a more personal note, I've found it's best to move to another environment (be it a new city or a new country altogether) with low expectations so that you don't get disappointed if/when something happens. It sounds counterintuitive but it helps you appreciate the positive things more.
You don’t know how much i needed to hear this. I wasn’t specifically thinking about moving to Korea, but i was pondering on the idea of getting out of my current environment because i was having one of those existential crises you mentioned. This made me rethink my “next step” in life. Thank you.
Something I am only recently realizing 4 years after moving away from the life I grew up in (just a couple states away) is that the idea that you can "move to a city where nobody knows your name, and redefine yourself" is impossible. You are never outside yourself, so your goal should be to understand, to heal hurts, and to love yourself. But all of those things are constantly in flux, and different places will only change your mindset, not your ultimate self. I hope you're doing alright! I know life is crazy and you're just getting settled in. Fingers crossed I pass the months and months of waiting for EPIK, it'd be awesome to meet you someday!
Yess! Couldn't have said it any better. Going to a new city, state, country can only do so much. The work still has to be done from within and if you don't take the time to address that as well, there really is no difference. Same! I hope youre doing okay out there too and hope the best for your application! Yeah it would be awesome if we could meet up someday even if it's not Korea 😁
@@Will_ly Man I really feel like a grown up talking about life like this 😭😭 but it's kinda awesome to realize you've changed and that you feel... better. And of course it's not like the people in your life have no part; anybody you meet and get close to is doing to impart something to you. It's so cool. I'm hoping to hear about interview stuff this week or next. We'll see! But you're right, it would be awesome to meet wherever we end up!!
@@ohmy_michaela haha adulting at its finest 👌 yeah it is really cool to reflect back on all the individuals who've had an impact on you! Good luck lmk!
This is SO true. I have actually thought about it but I realize that I'll carry myself wherever I go. Besides, no human being or system should have the power to alter who I am completely and it is unfair to hand over that burden anyway.
I just started watching kdrama last yr and cuz of that I started stanning an artist. Cuz of this, I got a glimpse of how K netizens are like and toxic is the right word, they are very prejudiced and just toxicity is high there. Even watching from afar, u noticed their toxicity
So true, like even from afar you can see the way that k netz think and what they believe, and usually it relates to scandals and beauty standards which is so drastically different to western countries. It’s definitely just a place I want to visit but I don’t think I want to move to any country cause I like where I live
I am from India, and as an Indian for us healthy soul is really important, as India is a country rich in spirituality. For me Korea is really full of materialistic cravings it just makes you tired.
Cannot agree with this more! As much as i love Korea's food and culture, i have to say people (not all obviously) are too materialistic. They focus so much on the aesthetics and visuals. Oh and their unrealistic expectations from others.. i feel like the Japanese society is similar to that of korea but I'll have to say the younger gen is definitely different. I wish to visit these countries one day just for vacations
I am also an India. It’s no more like that. People here are money minded, selfish always judging one another in respect to who has how much. And the worst part most of us want it easy.
"Spirituality", "soul" etc are marketing buzzwords to promote tourism, sexualized yoga, 3rd rate quantity over quality movies/drama series and pseudo scientific health 'treatments' to naive and clueless westerners eager to 'find themselves'. the reality is, current day india is just as toxic, selfish, prejudiced and materialistic as any other neo-liberal capitalist dog-eat-dog place.
No one country in our present world is perfect. That includes my homeland, India as well. There are good people everywhere and there are bad people everywhere as well. Let's not generalize an entire nation, with a rich culture and long history based on the few we've encountered. Peace and love to everyone out there!
Most people want to experience the culture of Korea. What can I say? I can get all the culture in my country by moving a few states. And being a poc there is no way I am going to visit to get comments on my skin color and my chest size.
This is very informative. I, for a long time wanted to move to Korea. I went for a visit back in 2019. It was an interesting experience. I know that foreigners have it difficult and at first I didn't want to let that stop me. However, the more I do my research on living there and the laws that run the land, I'm starting to see that it would probably be in my best interest to just love Korea from a distance and to just travel but keep my permanent residence somewhere else. I am not a fan of K-dramas but I even felt after going there for the first time that things are not as rainbows and unicorns as its shown to be. Plus, I value trying to keep my mental health in check and after the videos and other sources I've seen, I ultimately will just travel here and there to Korea but I no longer have a desire to live there. I love the way you give your explanations. Its the real deal and your so down to Earth. Thank you very much 😌
Thank you so much for watching! I'm not discouraging living in Korea because it is a great country. I just want people to take notice of their own mental/emotional state before making these types of decisions. If I had done so I'm sure my experience here would be even better than it already is 😁 so don't let this completely discourage you from living in Korea at least for a year for the experience. Best!
For me moving abroad was the escape from decades of abuse. Did the impact it had follow me to every country I went? Yes, definitely! But at least I was safe from being abused and those were the best years of my life and I even found the help and support I needed in the foreign country I am still residing in today. So there is nothing wrong with moving abroad with mental health or family issues, it depends heavily on the circumstances you are in and what motivates you to move. I moved for my studies and work, but essentially and unknowingly at the time it was my escape from an abusive family.
I agree. I've moved abroad five years ago for the exact same reason. At the time I was on survival mode and I hated the country of my childhood because I thought people were "backwards" and it was "underdeveloped", but the only reason I thought this way was because of my racist abusive mom (and also dad, but my mom would be very actively abusive whereas my dad was basically neglectful and didn't take anything seriously). I can even recall that early on in my childhood I didn't have this hatred and judgement, but after a certain point it started to develop because my mom would glorify the US and would talk shit about the locals. I must add, she's white and I'm mixed although I'm also white (for US that'd be white-passing), and even though she'd say things like "you're not like the other people here" "you're smarter/prettier than people here" I'd still interpret that as being from the same group of people like these "ugly/lazy/dumb locals". They were basically "compliments" masked as insults. At the age of 18 I managed to move out of the country because I played along with my mom's narrative of studying abroad. She glorified it so much so I took advantage of it. However, I must say that the first 3-4 years were the worst because I'd still recieve threats from her of all nature, from being forced to move back in with them to not helping me finish college. One day she would say something positive and the next she'd threaten me with something wild like suicide. Additionally, the "support group" I thought I had was never reliable in the first place. If I had to run for my life again, I had nowhere to go. It took the pandemic for my parents to finally divorce, and now things have changed for the better in most aspects of life. But even though I've said my first years abroad were horrible, it was still much better than living with my parents. I already knew at 17-18, that if I stayed I wouldn't have been around anymore. And despite being depressed and having these problems still chase me around (trust me, I've seeked help but the services and people I've met during my undergrad weren't very helpful to be honest), I still managed to discover parts of myself I would've never been able to discover had I stayed behind. I also have finally woken up to the reality that my mom is an insecure bitch with self-esteem issues who had to lash it out on someone, and that someone happened to be me. I still don't forgive her and I don't think I ever will (she doesn't deserve my forgiveness and I'm living quite happily without her presence around), but it for sure has helped me see my childhood country with different eyes. I no longer feel "dirty" or "inferior" because I was born there. I still have a long way to go, and I still need therapy to deal with all these issues, but life is slowly getting better and I'm glad I moved out at the age I did.
I find your story so relatable. I’m kinda going through exact same thing, even though I’m not living in foreign country, but just living alone in a city faraway from my family. Sometimes when facing with hardships or anxiety or loneliness, I wonder why do I have to continue suffering like this. I went back home for awhile, and then I realize that I miss the city and my life there. I always wait for a big moment/success to prove my worth, but I realize if I don’t enjoy the journey, it’s very difficult to keep on trying. Happiness indeed comes from within. No matter where you are, if you’re not happy with the present, you will continue feeling miserable inside. Love your content.
Are you back home now? Wishing you the best though with finding that happiness from within, I'm sure the journey will eventually come back in a roundabout way to help show your growth and development towards your goals! Thanks for watching 😁
@@Will_ly I used to visit my hometown every month because my parents’ love soothes all the pain away. But due to covid, I’m not able to do that for awhile. BTW This comment section is so precious, I love how people open up about their experiences and the same struggle that we’re going through. Keep it up 👍
As I really want to leave my home country since many years, I told everyone that I'd leave as early as I can but then, I realized that I should first take care of my mental health at home and leave when I feel better. I also want to have a reason or a goal or a purpose to go somewhere else and build my trip around it not just as a tourist. If we're the part of the population who have the option to travel and still realize that it is hard and you need to be courageous. We should also be able to recognize the strength that all the people who leave their country because of war have. In my country people don't like having them around and they must feel it. Anyway, thanks for that video !
That’s exactly how i feel like living in the States as a Korean. Especially being a POC in one of the extremely conservative state. I’ve never imagined myself to be a minority and how it would impact my life. I planned to live here for the rest of my life but after 6 years of living, I’m planning to move back to where I’m from. Huge support to whoever lives abroad!
Sorry you had a rough experience. As an American living in SK who is more or less on the conservative side, people should have been nicer. We're all just trying to find our purpose and achieve the things that matter to us.
It's the same in progressive parts but worse: they gaslight you. Living in Korea is also tough for Korean gyopo's because they don't view you as a foreigner and expect you to be Korean. You are gonna be in for a huge disappointment if you think you are going to have an easier time because you are ethnically Korean. It's not the same culture
Didn't expect you notice self love and self worth kind of thing. I mean maybe it's just me who didn't see that many guy who really know the source of their sorrow and emptiness. What you said shows that you actually know yourself well and you're honest to yourself. Deep!
It's easy to move countries as long as you keep a couple things in mind. First, understand that a new country/scene won't "change" or "fix" your personal issues. You can't run away from them, your baggage might take some time to catch up to you but it always does. Second, don't go to a new country with the mindset that the people should think and act like you. I see WAY too many TH-camrs who go to Korea and then slam the people and the country without fully understanding it. That's just some privileged and ignorant thinking.
This is such a REAL video. Real talk: travel, and trying to integrate into a culture alone (expecially, from what I can tell, Korea) can be incredibly difficult and depressing. Travel is often glamorized but it can be extremely tough and the reality of that shouldn't be ignored.
I dont think you should feel any type of way about not being happy in Korea. Circumstances change, people change, goals change, values change, you cannot expect to be satisfied through many years with the same thing. When you moved there, you did it coz your current self wanted to and needed to try it out. I think a mistake that many of us do is to try to force ourselves into our past dreams,(I know I do it a lot and it does nothing but make me misrable) when the person who had them and enjoyed them is no longer us or the dream itself was not based on the reality. Listen to your current self, your current needs and goals, without the added presumptions of what you should enjoy and what Korea should be for you. People often see it as failure if they fail to achieve what they set up for themselves to do in the past, but how is it a failure to change as a person and let reality change your dreams? Adaptabiltiy nad change are the biggest reasons why we humans are even alive, so embrace it :)
I agree, as you experience the world and learn more about yourself it's important to reflect on what your current needs and goals are so that you are stuck chasing the past. Thanks for such an awesome comment! I'll continue to embrace life as it is and enjoy the moments I can and appreciate everything else with it😁
Yes what wonderful insight! Your comment really touched me. Thank you 🙏🏾. Just what I needed to read as time moves me into 50 years of living & striving in 2022. Yep definitely needed these words 🤔.
I loved myself and I was happy. But moving abroad to Japan and seeing how they treat people based on how they look changed me. My mental health and self-confidence went down the drain sadly. It's hard but I'm gaining it back and I can't wait to go back home and be happy and comfortable with myself again.
It's really unfortunate how an environment can also be damaging to one's mental self. I hope things turn around for you during the rest of your stay, best of luck!
thank you for sharing this. I've been so caught up in trying to do the "big move", that I've completely forgotten to be happy with exactly where I am in my life right now. Your comments about not dealing with your issues and potentially having them surface to mentally / emotionally break you, is very true. This video hit home for me in more ways than one and I just want to say thank you. I hope your time in Korea is going well and remember to take life one day at a time. God bless.
I'm glad it was helpful! I know what you mean, when you’re in the middle of the hustle and bustle its very easy to forget about living in the moment aha 😅 thank you for the watch and I hope you're able to have a pleasant move!
I didnt deal with my mental issues growing up, I entered med was doing well and then my mental issues resurfaced, made me sick and now I'm out of med. Well, I can agree that wow you really need a strong sense of worth and value if you want to make it far and enjoy life....lesson learned the hard way but nonetheless still learned
Hmm, I think it takes real courage to be humble and admit you're wrong. Sure you're embarrassed and sad for a while but in the long run, if you just go home and admit you were wrong about it your expectations, what's the worse that can happen. Your real friends and family would understand and appreciate your honesty and would love to listen to your experiences.
Yeah it was something super hard for me to do for a long time, unnecessary pride always in the way aha... but now I know it was only getting in the way of growth. Thanms for watching 😁
i went to korea for a year and i struggled with loneliness and some comparison/loss of identity, but after coming back it was worth it for me. however, i think you’re in a different situation because you graduated and chose to live there (i also have thought about teaching english after i graduate in korea, but i think i would also have a lot of self-doubt about my purpose there and i’m not sure i can make the decision to live in korea again long term without a very specific purpose). looking back at my time in korea, my daily life structure was so much more active than it is in the us (where i’m from), and thus my well being was also better. there were toxic people i met, but because i was putting so much effort into meeting people, i made some great friendships as well. i think there’s definitely a period where you need to get over the romanticization of the country, but i do also think if you have a good job, stable friend group, a true desire to live in korea, and a plan for what you will accomplish for yourself while there, it can be an incredibly fulfilling and pleasant experience.
Yup. I agree. Been here in Busan since 2013. I had a bit of expectations since I took Korean classes for 2 years and learned about the culture a bit. In my first couple years here, there were things about Korea that make me question why I've been here for so long. But I feel like that would be the same for any country. Enjoyable things come from what you do and not always from what your outside factors contribute :)
Yeahhh, definitely a lot of great things in Korea but a lot of things that can still happen here especially if you don't take care of yourself first. It seems like you've been able to find ways to still enjoy yourself here even through the ups and downs so thats good 😁
Living abroad is hard. You must have a very strong emotional why to want to live abroad. Been living abroad for almost 14 years now and its been a roller coater ride over the years. But I must admit that there are so much more perks when you break barriers of your comfort zone.
It’s so crazy how most of us live for the future when we don’t even know what the future holds in store. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with looking forward to the future, but lately I’ve realised just how much I’m constantly searching for this idealistic likely non-existent period of life where I’ll be the best version of myself and have a lot of the things that I want, or I’m fuelled by nostalgia for times that only in hindsight feel like they were better than my present and - yeah. You really hit the nail on the head with this. I went through something similar and it’s a pretty rude awakening when you finally go abroad only to realise it doesn’t solve all your problems or magically spirit away everything about yourself that you don’t like.
I just found this video and I strongly relate to this… I’ve been living in Japan since 2019 and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions. To be completely alone with no support and real people around me, I’m not saying those around me aren’t good people but I noticed a lot of fake smiles & words. I was in a really low place after needing to undergo back surgery in a country I don’t speak the language fluently, with no help and it cost me my job (I’m a horse riding instructor so it’s not something I can do sitting or from home…). So many things have shook me since I arrived here but I also had amazing experiences and met good people. Living abroad is hard and certainly not for everyone, to be away from your friends and family can be a very hard thing to bear sometimes. I honestly hope you’re doing better and find yourself in a better place. I’m working really hard to get my life back together too, even though it’s not so easy to always be strong and stay positive. Your video & comment section helped me understand and see things more deeply. Thank you everyone
Really appreciate you sharing you experience. First, I hope you're able to ride horses again soon if not already! I know how mentally defeating it can be to not be able to do something you've done all your life. I'm glad you're getting yourself back together. Hope good fortune comes your way and you're able to continue being strong and staying positive. Best!
I moved to from America to Australia for love. It is one of the biggest regrets of my life. If anyone reading this is thinking of doing the same. Think long and hard. Once the honeymoon phase wears off in a few years you will realize that this one person you fell in love with will never make up for all of the friends and family you left behind, the seasons and holidays at home, your belongings and pets, your sense of home. You'll discover that this person has just as many flaws as someone you might have met in your home country, and you'll have to navigate the ups and downs of any relationship alone. You can't go to your best friend's place after a fight for a cry and a hug. You can't stay at your parent's or sibling's place for a few days. If a pandemic hits, you won't even get to see anyone for years.
Very good point. I think in those cases it’s also important to have a discussion with your partner if they would be willing to do the same for you. It’s a lot to ask of someone, and if they wouldn’t reciprocate…I’d think long and hard about it.
Thank you for sharing this. You offer a lot of wisdom here. I lived in Korea about 20 years ago and experienced much the same thing. When the honeymoon phase ends, you realize no matter where you go, there you are. Something I realized much later was that it’s not just about being happy or enjoying myself. It’s about what I am made for. What is the gift of my life going to look like. We are each made with perfect dignity in the eyes of God, and we each have a purpose in life. Which is not to say that our dignity is earned or delivered from what we do. We are truly loved no matter what by our creator and Savior. Nevertheless, it is up to us to find how our gifts and talents and dreams are to serve others. In this way we find peace and true happiness. Anyway, please keep your videos coming. I just discovered them so I will be watching. :-) God bless you!
korea and japan, these kind of country where they have very straight patriarchy culture is very hard to survive for long term, apart from language barrier, their everyday life and work culture is very different and stressful tbh, especially for outsider, i used to work for biggest airline in korea and believe me it was hard (approx 1 year) and i moved to middle east/ ME (6 years), its easier to survive in ME because most of them are expats just like me, dont try too hard on yourself to fit in and dont just get carried by their flow and accepting whatever environment you might encounter (swallow it and zip your mouth kind of thing), believe me you will suffocate yourself one day. always prioritize yourself first (mentally and health), move till you find supportive environment because in the end of the day we take responsible for our own happiness (believe me, not all sh*t need to be justified in the name of culture and we are not trash bin btw), take care yourself and dun settle till you happy! dun need to give a dang about other ppl's opinion coz its means nothing for long term.
@chobopanda that's interesting. I follow a canadian YT couple who, after a few vacations to japan, actually moved there. They immediately fell in love with the culture and the people. They've been there for 2-3 years now. I think they're thriving there (despite difficulties I'm sure) because they didn't have these often too optimistic, pre-conceived, notions about japan. They were very realistic.
@chobopanda I second this! I came to live in Japan with quite negative expectations and after few months of adjusting to the country, I had a lot of good surprises and I am really satisfied with my life here. Actually I also lived in Korea for almost half a year, and from my experience, it is completely different and I feel like Japan is much less toxic than Korea.
The Korean culture and lifestyle seems really intriguing and makes you want to move there but that’s all just very superficial and dreamy, imo. It’s not easy to live in SK. Although pretty developed, people there are still kinda conservative. Firstly, if you can’t keep up with the toxic hustle culture, you’re done for. Secondly, they have standardised concepts of doing things which may or may not suit you. Lastly, people are going to be very different from what you imagine them to be. Every foreign country is difficult to live in, honestly. I’m not saying SK is a bad country but Asian countries, in general, are a bit harsher so one must keep that in mind before moving.
That's so true. One of the best examples is Paris syndrome it exists and there is a helpline in Japan for Japanese people who romantIcize about how Paris will be for them and when the reality hits so hard they are shattered. This is a great video!!
Woahh thats interesting! I wonder if they have that here in Korea too because sometimes it seems like a lot of people are into Paris and shows like Emily in Paris 🤔
Sounds like you really matured through this experience. I consider that an amazing accomplishment. Good for you. Becoming comfortable in your own skin is worth the journey. 👍
I came across your video by chance. I have the opposite feeling about living abroad. I found that since moving to Korea in 2012, thousands of miles away from everyone that I know, I finally found myself and who I am. I found that living alone abroad pushed me to realize my full potential of being capable and independent bcos I had no one but myself to rely on. I was in Korea for 2 years then moved to Thailand for 7 years. I'm now in Singapore and have no intentions of ever returning to the US to live. If you asked me if I'd ever move back to Korea, the answer would be hell no! Would I move back to Thailand? Hell yessss!
You seem like a good soul. I wish you luck. As an older person, I can tell you that it's the appreciation of and true enjoyment from the little things in life that helps to make life worth living on a day to day basis.
This is so true. I moved to Japan 5 years ago cause it was my dream and even tho it took me years of effort to be able to do it the same way I was miserable in my country and I sometimes am miserable here as well. Your mental health doesn't magically change nor your problems disappear cause you are living abroad but i'd rather be here than home. I still get to wake up and think about everything I left behind was worth it for my dream and myself. I have a good job and am able to help my family if they need me so it's a matter of priorities and choices. I think everyone should try to do it at least once. You never know what you can learn about yourself through this experience.
So true, being here in SK has given me so much that I wouldn't trade for the world. So I'm glad that I'm here. I just hope no one has to suffer the mental strains I did before coming here, it make their lives a lot easier 😁 thanks for watching!!
Lived in Japan 10 years. No issues personally. Best advice I can give is, expect everything to be shit. No matter where you are in life, don't get too excited like a damn child. Be realistic and stop being so fucking dramatic. If you move to a country, get fluent in the language and live with grounded expectations. Doing so will mitigate emotional damages while maximizing positive experiences.
This is easily the best advice. Moving to another country is f-ing hard. Expect it to be hard and roll with the punches. It will not be like living in your home country.
You don't have to put it off completely finding self love is a journey and going to Korea could be a part of that journey. Just be cautious of your own mental/emotional state when you decide to make these changes 😁 thank you for the watch and best to you!
I have found it difficult enough moving to different places in my own country, because it exposes how vulnerable I am each time. If anything, it only gets harder with age to start over again somewhere new. With that said, I've never travelled anywhere with the expectation it would make me a different person (except maybe when I left home for college, and I learned fast that it wasn't going to happen). Going to different parts of the world doesn't create an ideal new you. _But_ I think _it does_ make you a richer version of yourself, if you go with your eyes, ears, and heart open. I think it's kind of like a new place can partially reset you to being ten years old: everything is strange and new, which opens you up, but there's the same potential for good and bad as anywhere. With that comes the opportunity to broaden your horizons, but you're still the same person. I don't know if any of that makes sense or matters much. 😂✌
For sure, it made sense to me and agree this richer version if you is able to see the world around you and yourself from different perspectives, opening yourself to more opportunities for happiness from within, but you're still you 😄 thanks for watching! Best!
I learnt my lesson when I did a 6 weeks research in a foreign land. The people there were not totally what I expected. While some of them left sweet memories, most of them left the bitter pain ones. I had trust issues (got scammed a lot even by people of the same race who had stay there for a long time), being misjudged, got dissapointed and more. At the end, I just stop caring what others think of me and started living my life the way I wanted to. It also brought me closer to my God because it was to Him that I let it out all my sadness and problems. I cut off toxic people and just did most of the things alone. You just have to find YOUR own style of coping with a new environment.
I feel like this 12 minute video really could help me in the future! I love how you share your personal opinion in such an understandable ways, helps me a lot in contemplating whether I should move there or not. Even as a person who hasn’t gone there yet, I feel like I could relate towards your “emotional support” topic. It’s my biggest fear of moving somewhere far - being mentally and physically alone when I need support because no one in my family is Korean! You’re also very funny too, just gained a new sub!
For me moving away from Seoul helped a lot. I feel more creative in my new city. I also decided to allow myself to create without pressure and do things I like. I found relationships are hard when living abroad.
I really enjoy your perspective on traveling to another country. When you decide to really live in another country, always have an open mind. This is from my personal opinion. I have traveled to another countries and islands. I migrated to America and I had to adjust to everything but I kept my accent. It was extremely hard and I cried many times because there were, and still are difficulties. One of the things you said best is to learn to be happy for you. Learn to appreciate you. Traveling and living abroad is truly an eye opener for me. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
@@Will_ly you should try to find a girlfriend there. Go to bars, cafes where girls hang out. It will make your life more fun, but you have to make sure she’s nice and drama/toxic free.
So relatable 😭. In general, moving abroad and experiencing life in a different country... isnt always going to be fun and glamorous. Ive been in japan for half a decade now, but seeing the downsides to living here has really got me thinking of maybe moving to another place thats more progressive society-wise. Countries like SK and Japan look so amazing from the outside, and they are, but you have to realize that they have deep-seated societal issues that may directly or indirectly affect your mental and emotional well-being (racism and discrimination, high expectations in the workplace, overwork, etc). The amount of ignorance and indifference to the well-being of people here is insane yall
Ive been doing business with korean companies/people for the past 9 years. It was very rough at beginning but it became better and better. I also learned their language and it does have good impact. I personally think to wherever we go it will be about understanding their culture and how u can adapt/adjust to it. No countries in the world would be easy to live in except our own country. Good luck!!!
Where ever you go, as soon as you arrive, the first person you met is yourself. This alone makes you feel uncomfortable to start with, it is you who has to adjust to the new environment you chose to be, not the other way around. Each country in the world has two faces, the one which provides culture, music, beauty, the things that charm the soul, then you have the harsh reality of daily life with all its distinctive peculiarities, which means the life of the working men and women having to make a living in a world wide economical system based on exploitation of human labor and pursuit of profit. Make no mistake to combine the two into one, two different category of fish. I got trapped myself as an artist into the charm of Chinese culture based on thousands of years of civilization, once there , the harsh reality of daily life didn't give me much room to think creatively and eventually came back to my own country with a luggage of wisdom and knowledge which I would never had other ways but nothing else if not to start from zero ground once more while in my middle age. Not an easy thing to do I can say that much.
I lived in Japan for two years and taught English. It was such a mixed bag. Especially with the virus thing, I look back on that time as one of the best times of my life but I was also really unhappy at the same time. It’s not something you can explain well to anyone who hasn’t lived abroad. They just won’t get it. And try to get into a serious relationship as an English teacher - it’s low pay and low security. Ouch.
Aha the serious relationship hit for sure, even for friends, living abroad is so fleeting that serious relationships are ironic 😅 thanks for watching though glad you could relate!
@@crazypresci As a half Japanese person I have made it my thing to enlighten people and change their “Japan is perfect” mindset. Japan never asked for that and it’s not fair for them that they have to live up to mostly all American teens view on Japan. Japan has never and will never be perfect. You will never be accepted as a Japanese person because you are not, you will always be called Gaijin because you are. Every country in the world has good and bad things about them. But this romanticism about Japan and Japanese culture needs to END! The Japanese people never asked for it, it is a made up stamp that was put on the Japanese by the Americans, and it needs to end.
I'm glad that you have your input and I'm glad that I have never glorified the country. I'm moving cause I like experiencing things whether good or bad. I don't like having a small bubble around me. I want to experience and be educated.
I lived in China for four years as a grad student who speaks Mandarin and had quite a few friends there, so I'm speaking from personal experience when I say I went through all the same rollercoaster ride, and you're totally right about everything you mention in this video. When you leave your cultural comfort zone you have to be prepared to face yourself in the best and worst of ways, especially if you don't have many friends and/or are isolated from the language. That's a hard pill to swallow when you're used to being comfortable in your home country without having to confront those issues-- in my opinion it wasn't entirely China (or Korea, or wherever) making things hard, it was ME! I was the problem! LOL You're so much stronger for taking the jump and facing yourself, don't forget that.
I was about to leave a comment and saw yours since it was the latest one posted. And you are absolutely right. Life always has a way to teach us how we are our own problems 😂 Challenges and difficulties suck yes but that's also what will make us who we are and hopefully turn us into better versions of ourselves.
First of all, I think it is toally normal to have such thoughts one day or another. That's just how life is, I guess. Not everything works out completely like we would have aimed for and we don't always live in the perfect situation. However, I think challenges and obstacles like these are also good in some way, otherwise we can not move forward or even improve ourselfs. Anyways, I think you have achieved a lot and you should not underestimate that. Furthermore, your videos are really entertaining and helping lots of people, including me, as I will go to Daegu next year to spend a semester abroad at KNU. Thank you for that 🙌🏻
Definitely! Going through these challenges in life is essential for personal growth and without a doubt im glad to be where I am today! But yes, it's just how life is haha, that's awesome you'll be in Daegu, I'm sure you'll enjoy your time there. Hmu if you ever need some recommendations, thats where I started. Thanks for watching!
Wow can I just say, I really applaud you for this video. Especially when you talk about self-worth! I have gone through so many phases where I kept thinking all my life’s problems would be solved by moving abroad and I would finally feel like a whole person. That is not true at all. You have to find love in yourself first because nothing else can make you feel whole and complete. Finally someone said it!
As a Korean who has lived in Korea, to Buick it down, don’t move to Korea unless you like vanity. I myself am admitably pretty vain, I like clothes, hair, weight loss, etc., but if you don’t like doing that to a day to day bases, don’t move to Korea. Korea is a fairly vain country, and high fashion and look your best 24/7 isn’t just for the Kpop stars, if you’re under the age of 40 (unless you’re a woman), you’re expected to look your best at all times if you want to garner people’s respect. I love Korea and I love dressing up everyday, but if you think that will be too much pressure on you, visit instead. Korea is still an amazing place to visit, but really, if you’re not someone who loves to pamper yourself everyday you might not love Korea
@@i.m_eemmaa yep, people really need to do reseach and also need to vibe with the lifestyle. Im a white guy and also enjoy that stuff and vibe, so i don't think that i would have that much trouble :)
I’ve lived here in Japan, specifically Tokyo now for almost four and a half years and granted the honeymoon phase is over, I still find places in the city to fall in love with it all over again. From when I was three years old and into my childhood I came and visited off and on and watched this city and the country develop. Every time I left I felt incredibly sad, and felt like the yearn to live here and find the missing piece and growth I needed in my life. I’ve always loved growing up around Japanese culture, the food, language, etc. As a foreigner with dark skin too I stand out really well and though most people aren’t fond of me I feel the self love, to know that even though problems arise and there have been many dark days, the brightest days have far eclipsed those dark days and the love I have for myself and the passion and perseverance to push through every obstacle make me feel at ease. Living abroad isn’t for everybody and honestly after two years regardless of the country, if you feel like the bad heavily outweighs the good then likely you’re not meant for it.
Young man, hearing you speak makes me smile. I see the the wisdom and the flaws and your logic simply because I’m more than twice your age. Counting on anything outside of yourself to provide anything more than temporary happiness is always going to end in disappointment. You have to realize that you’re still in the face of achievement and we’re always taught to reach the next goal to find happiness never realizing that the next goal never truly comes. When you get the raise use in long for the promotion when you get the promotion you’ve been long for the big office when you get the big office using long for retirement when you reach retirement you look back and wish you would’ve enjoyed what you had while you had it. The only moment you will ever have is the only moment you’ll ever exist, right now. The you that made this video is not the same you that reads this comment. Eternity is not something that begins once your body ends eternity is now. You’re experiencing it, this is it. Find happiness in every waking moment and don’t be driven into the past with regret or sit with anxiety over the future. Smile, wish everyone joy and if you get overwhelmed find one thing that you’re grateful for and think of all the ways that it improves your life until you’re overcome with gratitude and happiness, then do your best to become what others can be grateful for.
As I am korean living in the UK for 10 years, I also have a mixed feeling about Endland as well as Korea. I am still searching for the most appropriate word to define my feeling.
Hey, I lived in Taiwan for a long time and then Hong Kong. Everything you've said resonates with me so hard. I want you to know that I love you, not weird love but I care about you. You are not alone. Subscribed and gonna watch your journey. *hug*
I've been in South Korea in 2019 for 10 days. It was just on my bucketlist. On one of the last days there I thought it would be nice working there. I always wanted to work abroad for a year or so but I didn't know where yet. And I thought South Korea would be amazing. After doing a lot of research I'm not really sure if I want to do it anymore. I see people indeed romanticizing that idea. I don't want to work in South Korea just to be in South Korea, I also want to gain experience and learn more. But it's not easy finding a job. And I'm a social worker, so that is going to be hard I think. Lately I'm really considering to go to South Korea just for a month to explore more. Not sure yet, still thinking about it. Thank you for this video!
If you're thinking about coming to Korea just to explore and learn, there’s no reason not to come! Korea is a great place to be, so don't worry too much, just have to appreciate it for what it is rather than what the media may portray it to be. Best of luck with your decision 😁
Definitely resonated with a lot of these points! I’m still in the adjustment period of living in Korea and starting to hit that “what am I doing with my life” and “why did I move across the world” moments now. I LOVED the movie “Soul” by the way, it was so refreshing
I'm still in the adjustment period of my life period 😅 thanks for watching though! Yess "Soul" was a great reminder to just live life 😁 something I'm still learning to do
This comment section really be hitting me like a personal therapy session! Thanks for all the wonderful insights and experiences 🙏
hey i feel you even i don't know you so
it happend don't look to ur faillure things you're worth it will ly-sshi
What is this movie you talked about?
@@dashingmay Soul 😁
Life is a transition and journey to our true form. No place on earth is permanent not even our lifestyle and life we choose to create an identity to be that ideal human being.
Soul is a great movie bdw and so is Seoul ...just a great movie enjoy it in your current avatar.
Can you be my friend mahn😭
Korea is really wonderful as a tourist destination but the day to day societal pressure is pretty awful. The hierarchy is also a bit too much. It’s really tiring
yeah I'd love to visit it but I know I wouldn't want to live in a society like that, it doesn't fit me
Every country has its flaw. US has day to day societal sense of entitlement. The US didn’t have a sense of hierarchy as their defined duties/position or career is disposable.
Also the police/safety.
Cases like the missing boys,the kid getting rape,the air force sargent suicide due to rape from colleague, rampant spy cam in toilet etcetc
The police dgaf or cover up. There is no justice.
Even as tourist destination , it is not as rich in culture/heritage/landscape/food/interesting spot etc as Japan or China . The fashion style is not as fierce n diverse as Japan n Hongkong . Architecture building n Art Museum are so so, basically they only have Kpop, Kdrama or Plastic Surgery Destination to be sold . And University, kudos for it
@@santiagocalatrava6488 A lot of what you mention is subjective, but you shouldn't mistake your lack of knowledge or appreciation of something for that something not existing or lacking. Also, you don't need to deprecate a country to celebrate another. I personally enjoyed Korea as much as Japan and much more than China. But I wouldn't say one is better than another. It comes down to my preferences and exposure.
1. Don’t move somewhere just because you like their cultural products (music, games, TV).
2. Don’t move somewhere just to find yourself. Movies push that narrative that confused souls can discover themselves when they make a big change of surroundings, this is fantasy (usually made to encourage tourism).
3. If you’re miserable where you are (unless you’re in genuine danger), moving just brings the misery to a new place. Like if you’re fighting with your family, and mom suggests you go on vacation to bring the family together, then you’re just someplace new still hating each other and can’t escape back.
my moms doing this right now and I don't wanna go on vacation
Great advice, never thought of this .. Thank you
How did you find this out?
People romanticize foreign places too much. They make it seem like these places are paradise or have no problems which is completely not true. I honestly feel bad for the people who are sucked into believing that foreign places are perfect and that if they move there their lives will be perfect. It’s honestly just a waste of time and money to move to a place just because you like their culture or you think you will have no problems there.
I rather be miserable in Korea than the US. Biggest regret is coming back.
As a Korean person who’s now living in Canada, and had lived in Japan and moved to Canada again. I love my country for what we(Korean people) have achieved after Korean war(1950) and also my country’s culture and food. However, the reason why I moved here is also culture of Korea and Japan society. Being in SK and Japan society was really hard to be just ME. I cannot really explain exactly but I can say that there’re some standards and if you don’t fit or follow, you’ll be feeling like a weirdo or an outsider both of country. As a person who loves to be my self, moved to Canada. By far it’s been one of my best decision in my life. Good thing of what I noticed is that SK young generation people are aware of it and trying to change step by step. It will take time but I think it’s gonna be happend.
Totally agree. For the very same reason, I travelled to Australia to focus on myself.
As a Korean, Korea was like a bubble to me. When i was living there for 25 years till i left to Australia, i didn’t realize much that I was losing myself and was just busy fitting in whatever the standard is.
I only felt that something is going wrong with me since i often felt empty or depressed out of tiring to keep up with the society standard.
Definitely it will change over time since our young generation is slowly catching up with this problem and challenging it.
My experience in Japan was not the same... I felt like japan is more accepting and the people are less judgemental while korean people were more hostile and rascist toward me
They would constantly remind me I'm an outsider studying in Korea and would pass remarks on my looks while Japanese were more welcoming and minded their own business never once they made me feel I'm an outsider or looked different
Funny thing is before moving to Korea I though they would be more open minded about foreigners but to my surprise it was the opposite
I would love to move back to Japan in future
@@dhimankalita1690 well in my experience I disagree with you. I felt japanese are more racist and conservative society than korea for sure.
@@dhimankalita1690 Japanese are far less in your face with discrimination. Both countries tend to be quite xenophobic. Japan is better at pretending they aren't. So even though they aren't telling you off directly to your face, they are doing it behind your back. It's honne tatemae culture. Also, experiences differ. I know people that love Korea and Japan. I know people that hate them. But you can't deny xenophobia exists in these countries.
@@riceman541 Regardless both Japan and south korea is always better than the hellhole china
That’s why I think we need to have a strong reason when moving somewhere. Not just because "i love this country from tv perspective" :/
I would move to whichever country you are from...😉
u got insta.
Lol I didn't even notice this until now my b
@Kira Lou hey man im just trying to make some friends.
arnold the great What are you a born again Christian trying to save vloggers from the fires of hell for being vain or just another incel who wants a bowl of rice porridge.
The first time I moved abroad to teach, someone gave me this piece of advice: "Remember that a plane ride doesn't change your character." Your video reminded me of that. Thanks for your honesty in this video and your insightful, balanced perspective!
Thank you for such a wonderful comment! It really makes putting out videos like this worth it. Oh how I wish I had received that advice before making the move here haha. Idk if things would have played out differently but it would have nice to know. Thanks for watching 😁
Wherever you go, there you are.
This is true.
When you have to interact with a completely new place and you do so from your ideal self, it brings forth that new response that you can't have with where you are just every old day.
I was just talking about this yesterday with my girlfriend. I'm a Korean American currently living in Korea for around 6 years and my girlfriend is native Korean who studied abroad in England. We both really don't like living in here because there are A LOT of toxic people. No, it's not the worst country or anything. But, korean people have become superficial and narcissistic on a new level that the world has never seen.
It is truly unfortunate, because many know that Korea advance really fast in a short period of time. But advancement that is too fast has also its negative side effects. Just like if children grow up too fast they behave different than children that went through all the early stages naturally, korea developed too fast, catching up with the first world countries in the world and the people paid for it in the process. They paid for it by becoming hyper-competitive and having super high unrealistic standards of living. Because of this a lot of people are extremely judgmental in here. Also look down on people a lot. If you're ever planning to live in Korea you better have a strong mind and be extremely positive. But even the strongest minds eventually break down if you encounter toxicity on a daily basis. Good luck to you if you ever come here.
Yupp! Great points and to add to it, you can see it in their infrastructure, where it's super high tech in one area, tall building, expensive shopping districts and then in some areas, 5 minutes over, dead. Just super rural and still looks like they're are 5 years behind. It's very interesting to observe all of this.
@@Will_ly indeed my friend indeed. Stay strong and remember there are many people in Korea who are going through exactly what you're experiencing. You're not alone.
So what do they look up to? Money? Education?
I've read the same thing about china. They grew 'too quickly' and so they have an older generation who went through a great depression and really struggled. Suddenly, much of their people came into money and got a big ego about it, but didn't take enough time to educate themselves as a whole. This is why I've heard that Chinese are considered some of the worst, rude, and inconsiderate tourists
@@BabeDollB that is very accurate of current China my friend.
When I was in college I looked forward to being 30 because I thought I’d be settled and have it all figured out by then, PFfft! I’m 63 now and just retired from 20 years of teaching (which was not in any original plan.) Every year I grow and change and instead of making that “right” decision or figuring out where I belong, I have found that all stages of life are transitions. People change what they are doing ALL the time. Full lives are filled with a wide variety of experiences. You are off to a great start! Enjoy!!
So true, I used to life so linearly but that isn't true at all, life and yourself as an individual is constantly changing. Thanks for watching, it's nice to know that we're all still figuring it out no matter what age we are!
This is inspiring, thank you!
Excellent comment. And may I add, some of the seemingly "negative periods" in life are now looked back on with fondness and value. I wouldn't change anything; they were instrumental in growth.
yeah i understand entirely where you come from. i thought the same. now i’m 26 and my life is a complete mess i feel and i don’t see it change any time soon. people often say life is what you make but they’re big time liars.
@@bellabon8952I’ve had plenty of times when I looked around and thought, “this sucks! I don’t want credit for making this life.” Now I think that life is more complex than that. It’s a blend: the situation your are born into, the DNA that gives you psychological and emotional tendencies as well as physical traits, random minor and major events that happen, the choices that you make each day, and the work that you do to prepare for what you want to bring into your life.
Most of those things are not in our control. To a large degree you have to “Play the cards your dealt”, which sometimes sucks.
Concentrate on the things you are in control of. Be kind to yourself. Remember that most transitions aren’t smooth. You are moving from one stage to another, unfamiliar one, out of your “comfort zone.” That’s growth, but sometimes it happens so slowly it’s hard to notice until you’re looking back on it.
At times when you are frustrated and sick of your problems, focus outward. Do something for someone else. That’s a win, win. It works wonders!
P.S. when I was 26 my life was a hot mess too!
Even if your self-esteem were high at the beginning, if your environment is toxic, be it social, relational, or even professional your self-esteem will erode. Having self-reflection helps also have supportive friends or families to discuss things with enabling you to see another perspective; that it is not always about you. Being assertive and establishing clear boundaries will go a long way to maintain healthy self-esteem.
So true especially the part where it's not always about you. Toxic things happen and it isn't always within your control to handle that, sometimes the best thing to do is to step away. Giving yourself space to respect your own boundaries. Thanks for the insight!
Perfect! I love this comment.
Yup, agree 100%
Exactly. Thank you so much.
I lived in Korea for 5 years, the heirarchy on age is so strange to me. Koreans will try to bully you because you're a foreigner or just because they are older than you or you're just new in the company. When I was working there, 2 middle aged koreans who are newly hired tried to order me around. Clean this/Clean that, I never followed what they said, I just smiled at them, this is the best action to annoy a Korean. They told to every koreans that I was lazy, little they know that I was a pioneer in the company. They got reprimanded by the Manager and told them not to annoy me or order me around because they are only on probation and I'm their senior. The other one is smart enough to change his attitude and always follow what everything I want him to do, the other one quit because my drinking buddies, koreans older than him gave him a hard time. I was not bullied in Korea in 4 different companies I worked to because I choose not to. There will always be toxic people anywhere, you just don't need to care.
That's weird ngl... the me mentality of some people because of the hierarchy system is so odd to me. In a sense it's good but in these settings all it does is repeat a cycle of abusing power because of age 😅 glad youre doing well though
I always felt like a proper "Respect your elders." should just be "don't be an immature brat." to your elders. Yes they know more, but even older people can still be in the wrong. That's why I always felt hierarchy in a deconstruct seems like "Yeah, I should respect you because your parents did the tango in bed earlier than your parents." Those who are just older and flexing their age in a place where you're the senior never made sense, and they get mad when the senior is supposed to be more knowledgable in the field.
@@Yuunarichu haha well worded
@@aliaaysha2072 Lol thanks
👏👏 I applaud you for standing up for urself! I also am working in a Korean company so I know the struggles
You seem like a person who feel things at a deeper level than most and as someone in the same boat, I wanted to reach out and say what you are doing is beautiful. You are using your experiences and pains to keep others from experiencing them and that's the most meaningful way to turn darkness into light. Sending lots of love and cheers to your healing journey.
Awh thank you so much! I'm glad that it was able to resonate with you and I hope that because we are in the same boat it was a bit healing for you as well! Best to your journey too and that we are both able to reach our end goal of self love and healing 😊
@@Will_ly Thank you so much! It was incredibly healing watching your video and your honesty. When most people encounter toxicity, they become toxic too. But you chose not to and use your experiences to educate others. To teach, is to touch a life forever. You are a wonderful teacher both to your students and to anyone who may encounter you in life. It gives me the strength to do the same and work positively towards self love and acceptance. Thank you for making these content and sharing your experiences.
You can't run away from yourself. Wherever you are you will meet yourself there.
Had to jot this down in my journal, it's too good. Thank you!
@@itoljaso17 Lifetime of experience
Thank you for this beautiful advice..it is true
This was such a beautiful quote!
The Appointment in Samarra:) unrelated but related to what you said
I do not like the mentality “ don’t talk back and just do as you’re told “ and I feel like this is how Koreans think. And also the cancel culture is big there. Every small mistake you make you have to apologize like you burned someone’s house down. I think that’s very toxic. I love the culture but I think I’m gonna keep loving it from a distance.
This is so true.. I have faced this... My roommates were Koreans who were way older than me.. they were the most kind and good people iv come across but when it comes to sharing of opinion or making decisions.. that's when the problem starts.. because I am younger than them . .. they get offended when I want to do things my way or share my opinion and I end up apologizing. ..one time one of the roomate told me to apologize to the other person... I was mentally so stressed out living with them... Not they are bad but they are very conservative.
Exactly
So trueeee😭😭
@Kate Moore so true
Having lived in and worked in six different countries as a consultant, (shortest being 6months, longest 1.5 years) I can legitimately say each country really does have its perks but also downsides too. I can favour no country above the other as all impress and yet disappoint, expectations are set and none are met. Even returning home is a let down after being away. The best way I have learnt to prepare was to learn the countries history, culture and people before the move.
Haha this is true, even going home can be a let down 😅 but yes learning more about the country, culture and yourself will go a long way with developing healthy expectations
Could you perhaps rank which countries disappointed you the least and the most? Or would that be hard as you have only lived in those places short-term? (You don't have to answer me if you don't want to. I'm just curious. xD)
What’s your job, specifically?
Reny Rues consultant that is code for English Teacher hired to entertain kids in a language schools.
Farima Sultani Or which country the Co worker or Colleague made his experience hell comes from.
I think when you're a little kid you find so much joy in such simple things. And then as you become an adult, that mentality does a 180 and you start the never-ending grind of having a stable income, a bomb ass career, an exemplary significant other, a dedicated fitness regime and so many other things. And we rush to accomplish all of this as quickly as we possibly can because we're convinced that happiness is only in big milestones. Then when you see other people living the big life and you compare it directly with your own, you begin to wonder if you're just taking up space by existing. You end up at war with yourself and the world, completely unarmed. There's a lot of joy packed into small, everyday things. But when your focus is on all that you haven't done and all that you haven't become, you tend to miss them and then those small opportunities to really be immersed within the happiness of a moment cease to exist. And then one day when you look back- you'll have realized that you never really appreciated any singular moment in your life because you were too busy worrying about a day that hadn't happened yet. It's sad, really. Though I'm always aware that this sort of thing is constantly occurring, I often find no solution other than numbing myself with a stupid film or a song on repeat.
LOOL you encapsulated this so well I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all. It's a sad sate of mind we have trapped ourselves in that's for sure. Trying so hard to be happy that we're all just suffering on the inside, but through social media and everything, we pretend to be okay because that's how it should be 😅 I feel the same though, I find myself just losing myself in music or something mundane just to runaway from it all even if just for a moment. Thanks for the comment and for watching, best to the both of us
Can you write my English essays pls and thank you
WRITE A BOOK NOWWWW!!
I LUV UUUUU 🐸🐎🐪🐆
UMMM PURRRR-
“We start to romanticize this idea that life’s problems would be solved by this next big thing/achievement.” Wow this really hit hard.. i’ve been going through the same experience recently.. thanks for sharing man 🙂
It's so easy to get into that mindset right, especially when thing right now might not be happening the way you want them to. Thanks for watching, wish you the best!
I’m about to move to HK to study my masters degree. I’ve been unhappy with my life during the past few years and wanted this change in the hope that I would be able to live happier and meet new people. I’m really scared now after watching this video and hearing this... I’m afraid nothing will change and I’ll be in the same mental crisis I’ve always been. Hopefully things will go fine
@@lynako2546 it won't change anything. u might feel good for first few months then sadness sets in. The problem is with the mental state. If it is happy kind then the place does not matter.
@@lynako2546 Hey man, just do what your tummy tells you ! Be mentally prepared because studying abroad etc is always stress (everywhere). You never know what will happen there, you could make new good friends, or maybe can cook different things, hit the gym etc etc. So don't worry, no one will force you to stay or move away. If you ever feel sad, sit down, think about all the pro's and con's you had/have and sleep a day. But in the end and that is the most important thing! You gained experiences ! So be chill, and know that it won't be that easy but its all doable :)
Thank you for this video. I lived in Korea for six years and I loved it. But the pressure from lookism, being an outsider, and even the hierarchy put on skin color/country slowly starts to eat away at you and the crazy thing is that you don´t realize how it is influencing you until it is too late. I feel like I went to Korea with high self esteem, confidence, and value but it slowly eroded over time. Self love is fluid. No matter how much work you continue to do on yourself, if your environment is overwhelmingly toxic, you will suffer. I think this can happen anywhere you live. Moving abroad will always costs you something, make sure it isn´t yourself.
I repled this to the wrong comment, but yes I agree! XD
Korea is odd to me. My experience as an intern/student, was fun..as a teacher it was absolutely terrible. The toxicity was pretty bad too but I met a lot of people who were genuinely nasty/toxic.
Yeah, I think that's just the farce you get when traveling abroad. A lot of people are looking for a support system during their travels and can tend to hide their true nature to do so. It's can definitely take a toll when you're constantly "cherry-picking" friends to keep around good energy. Thanks for watching! Hope you get to experience more traveling with less toxicity soon!
@@Will_ly You're absolutely right and I didn't think about that in terms of being a student. Everyone's new and they really just want a group of people to be around. When you're a teacher everyone's been there for a while and you also experience Korean parents/ strict work culture. Also, thank you! Keep up the good content.
@@Ali_delightful liikI’ll. Cf for t
I worked with few Koreans, some nice but some really sarcastic and sociologically can make you crazy. I can’t imagine my self leaving in those country
@@honeypear1363 Yes, I agree. The older Koreans I worked with had the same traits when I was a teacher. Another odd thing is, a lot of them will incorrectly correct your English - which was a little frustrating. There's a huge superiority complex (for some Koreans, not all). (Ex. An adult Korean student thought it was incorrect to say, "there's a 20% chance of rain on Tuesday." Instead of saying they didn't understand, they straight up said I was wrong and that it sounded unnatural. xD) However, by all means, Korea is a good country to visit for vacation. I understand not wanting to live there.
“They laugh at us because we look different. We laughed at them because they all look the same.”
-CL of 2ne1
Guys I just see this😂✌🏻
What does that mean
@@ebrarara It kind of means like people will say something about you, judge you, etc or something like that becuase you are who you are, but that's what makes you unique from everyone, who are all the same. Sorry, not good with words but I hope it helped :)
@@loilaacosta9834 thank you it helped :) have a good day
🤣🤣🔥
"I dont think its a quote from a korean"
-Mozart
I moved to Korea in February and not gonna lie even though I am not Korean the beauty standards have really hit. I love a lot about Korea but the beauty standards really hit me. Even when I am at the gym I’m very insecure.
I feel that, the beauty standards here are really high. It can be very difficult to avoid especially when there is a very obvious one style that most Koreans seem to conform to.
If you find yourself to be susceptible to the standards, take the time to visit foreigner hotspots or visit Seoul and Busan where its less conservative. It helped remind me that I don't have to uphold to the same beauty standards here 😁
@@Will_ly I have lived in Korea for 5 years. I Don't fit in the beauty standards but what i do have Im a tall girl with big boobs and a juicy booty 😆😆😆😆
@@itisikk656 YESSSSSSAAAAA GIRLLLL!!!!
Ayyy get it! 🔥🔥🔥
@@itisikk656 hahaha still in korea exist the standard of being slim? Because i wanna go there. But same as you i'm a thick girl with big boobs and a juicy booty. 😂
I read so many young (very young) people overthinking in the comments haha. It's normal, though. I am 31. When I was 21-22 I didn't know what to do with my life at all. People here in Spain were suffering the 2008 crisis and many my age moved to London. It was the "promised land" that time. There are all kind of stories. Many acquaintances had it rough, others ok, some still live in the UK, though I don't know about anyone living in London proper (capitals are brutal, and I guess for Seoul this is multiplied tenfold).
The thing is young people especially nowadays gather so much information before experiencing themselves that it is simply too much. I would say, if you love Korea, the language, the culture (usually due to the influence of its soft power: dramas, kpop, etc.) just go there! The experience will enrich you for sure, even if its hard or sad. Life is a collection of experiences. The problem is, when you are very young, and this happened to me as well, you really don't accept "failure", not even envisioning failure. That is what hurts the most, that many young people dream of living a perfect Korean life forever. That is most, most, most likely not going to happen.
PS: about me, I was overthinking so bad I never moved to the UK or anywhere else. Experience missed! Hahaha
Indeed. 👍
How do you know they're young? Are you a secret agent 😎
But yes especially nowadays the younger generation is bombarded with so many options they just unsure of everything. Sometimes you just have to do it and experience it for yourself to see if its fit for you.
Thanks for sharing best! You still have the chance to visit the UK 😄
I moved to UK. Did PhD and got me a £120k job in the city. Overall, a good move.
@@annajones9701 can I ask what job gives people such a salary?😲
@@noisy3662 Many jobs in city - hedge funds, family office , private equity. I work private equity
Every time I hear one of these, I realize it's always about the relationships. Having healthy relationships can get you through the hardest times. Having the right people can really help you a ton, but it's never easy to find in a new country.
The K-dramas I've thrown myself into during the past few months have shown me that people's real lives are so hectic in Korea and the world in general, and not to get carried away with romanticizing the aesthetic life we see online. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing these insights with us, Will! 😌
Aha what have you been watching? Thanks for watching though! Glad you liked it
@@Will_ly Bad City: Vile Guys, Stranger, Designated Survivor 60 Days, The Lies Within, The World of the Married, Voice, Hyena, It's okay to not be okay, etc lol I'm addicted to law, crime and justice dramas 🙈
Haha thats awesome I haven't watched all of those but I really enjoyed its okay to not be okay!
@@Will_ly same here! It made me cry like a banshee and had me rethinking my whole existence 😂😭
I see Korea as a great escape like a 1-2 month vacation just to live my fantasies but I know for a fact I cannot live in their society. It's like forced role playing. Even the superficial things could have grave repercussions.
What in particular was your fantasy about korea?
I think the fantasy would dtart to fall apart in less than 1-2 months. Its too long. By that point you'll start to see the massive issues in society. Don't ruin it for yourself
THIS ❤️🩹 frfr, I’ve been here since March 2020, as amazing as the scenery, food, cuteness, nightlife and the absolute BEAUTY of the women here, it feels like I’m living in a endless cycle of the Matrix, everyone seems to be so consumed with technology and how the look. It’s like they barely look at the natural world anymore
Useless video. He provides ZERO examples of anything, just a rant of him talking out his as. Completely waste of time watching this video.
@@Name-jw4sj bruh pointlessly triggered it's 😂
You actually don’t need to live in SK for a few years to know what the society is like. From Burning Sun scandal to sasaeng culture to K-netizens criticizing every little mistake anyone famous does, it’s all so obvious. Even the use of marijuana gets you treated like you’re a serial killer not worth living. Mind you, not all Koreans are like that. But many are. Then again, when someone wants an escape so badly, yes he/she can wear rose-colored glasses unintentionally… most importantly though, it’s not just SK. Every country has problems of its own and toxicity of its own. Living anywhere new will require an open mind, almost 0 expectations and mental flexibility.
Some Korean had just say they want him dead on a TH-cam interview. Like.... I know they're wearing mask but not even a speck of shame to wish death for a person who haven't been convicted yet nor was his indictment was anything death deserving. Sad for people living among them. Monsters do exist living within their society and they should pick up a mirror if not pee a puddle for themselves to see.
Erring on the conservative side is something I really like about s.korea and absolutely hate about America at the same token i do understand foreigners dissatisfaction and heavy burdensome feeling of constantly living up to society's expectations/standards. It can be really overwhelming
Truee. Nice word. My country had a bitter mouth to all of our country citizens, and treat outsider like a king and queen, even if they were poor. They get jelly and very toxic to our real citizens. But some were not. Some were just nice, but they keep be silent went bad things come. By putting a 0 expectation, it can give you more greatest feeling. You can't change people, but you can change yourself, especially your way of perspective and thinking. Just change what you can change, so you can feel much way better and have a nice and peacefull life♡
@@ms.chuisin7727 oof this aged badly
@@jinslipbalm6240 Why what happened?
Hmmm, Korea is a country I wanna love from afar lol. I wanna visit cos I'm a big fan of Kdrama and their savory food, but I don't see myself living there. Anyway, I do think it would have been better if u were more specific though. Glad u're in a better space now.🙌🏿
Feel free to ask me about anything specific that you have in mind and I'll do my best to answer 😁 thanks for watching!
It doesn’t seem like the best place for brown and black people from things I’ve heard. There are clubs that discriminate based on skin color and jobs that specifically want “pretty” or “handsome” white foreigners and will reject black and brown applicants.
@@ima.m.1658 you always remain an outsider when you move to another country especially if you are from a different race.
@@rosofficesolutionsinc1572 That doesn't make it okay or acceptable.
Yeah, I'd rather just visit. Definitely don't think I can live there.
I am an American who decided to spend an extended amount of time in Mexico to study, work, and just live. The first part of my journey was wonderful. I had highly romanticized the culture and was in love with everything. Mexico could do no wrong. Then I went through a dark phase in which it all flipped around and it seemed like the worst place in the world. Nothing went right and I hated it. Then after more timed passed, I came to the realization that it was just a country;, no worse nor better than any other place. That is the balance that long term expats have to find. But you have to hang in there for quite awhile before you feel it kick in. I wish you the best in your journey.
Thanks for sharing! It's true that you have to find a balance and not expect anything more than your own country because every country has their flaws.
Immigrant, not expat
I'm from Mexico, and yes, in this country we have good things and bad things, just as other countries. I really would like to live in other country because here it's a lot of insecurity and corruption...
@@nimdailoth8115 I'd recommend USA or Canada because they're the closest western countries to Mexico and lack the depressive and harsh social culture of Japan and S. Korea.
México is a great country, but we have so many security and economic problems. I’m so sorry you went through a bad phase in here, hope you’re better now
I don’t live in Korea but I do live in abroad and everything you have said is spot on. Whichever country one moves to, one has to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the cultural differences. Thank you for your video 🤗
It took me 15 years to adjust to the US, and start calling it home, and I only moved from Germany (western to western move). It's hard, because you find out that your cultural and societal ties and ways of thinking are more attached to your childhood and teenage home than you think they would be.
For sure that's something that I've been dwelling on. Just because you've spent an extensive time in one area, your roots always seem to reach to where you grew up!
my friends (Filipinos) since High School, being here in the US for 17+ yrs (we’re in age ranges 31-34 yrs old). We still cannot figure it out if we’re still have a societal ties or ways of thinking between the two(Americanized or Filipino Upbringings ) However, that one thing in common with my friends are being trapped into student debt, mortgage, eating American junkie foods., unnecessary credit card purchases, Politics and their non-sense freedom that we didn’t buy into. It is not because it’s American but this are some of the flawed that Americans are ignorant about.
I can relate... I've been in the US for almost 9 years, I am from Slovakia, and lately I've been coming up with more reasons to return to Europe than stay here... I do like some aspects of life in the US, but my life here has been far from being perfect. Well at the end of the day, I realized it's just relationships and people that matter the most to me and I am more attached to folks back home than here
@@Tatiana-cd1vu I can relate too. I am from Slovakia and moved to the UK 16 years ago. Part of my heart is always in Slovakia with my family and friends, but also staying there for more than 3 weeks just gets too much, as it reminds me of all the reasons I left. Recently, I have worked on a North European project and got to experience their work culture too and I hated it. It crushed my dream of working in continental Europe one day. At the same time British culture still feels foreign, the world superpower mentality is something that still makes me nauseous, I imagine U.S. is similar in that respect. Yet I love UK work culture...
I think what I've achieved in the last 16 years is that I have multiple homes, but none at the same time.😆
This video speaks of my truth. Thought that being in a different country would make everything better and later realized im still the same person with same emotions.
its okay to be the same person, especially when you have always been honest to yourself. But you can play roles. You can conveniently repress some behaviors, if you understand that the truth in your pass may just be an illusion and the present gives you an opportunity for reinvention.
It's a really different world there
It really is
@@Will_ly Just like New York City. It's good for tours and holidays, horrible for staying.
Haha so I've heard, it can't be that bad?
You're everywhere ~~~ 🤣
@@Will_ly
New York is crime ridden (especially with COVID and the BLM riots) and has high taxes + cost of living.
I taught in Korea for 4 years, discovered a passion for teaching (real teaching - not ESL and hagwon bullsh**) through it, made some of the best friends I've ever had, and learned almost fluent korean. Korea always holds a very special place in my heart, but life there can be very toxic, especially in Seoul. The people you deal with are just unbearable, across all jobs. I think i really did succeed in finding myself there. Years 1-3 were rough, then year 4 I started to really find happiness. You really have to put a bubble around yourself and ignore the society around you and turn inwards. I did a lot of yoga and meditation. I detached myself from the aspects of Korean culture I didn't like, like the standards, stress, homogeneity, etc. I was the happiest after I stopped trying to assimilate and just decided to be myself - which wasn't at all in line with Korean standards. I was still respectful obviously, and I always spoke korean and never expected anyone to speak english regardless how complicated the situation was. But the more I did that, the more I started to kind of feel like an outsider, although I was feeling happier in my own life. That's just the crux of living abroad. You'll never be part of that society no matter what.
That's when I decided to make the leap and come back to America. Leaving was a good decision. I might go back, because again it has my heart, and there's so many aspects of life in Korea that I just absolutely adore (and so many things I hate about America, lol) but at least just getting away from Korea for a few months for some perspective and a breather, it's really a game changer. It'll always be back and forth for me though, as my to-be husband is Korean. But I am very content now with the idea of that, and I absolutely will go back to Korea to live again, but hopefully just not in the English teaching career.
I feel this on another level! Trying so hard to blend in initially is arguably toxic in its own right. You'll always feel out of place and unsure of who you are especially when the culture itself is very different from you own.
I do plan on going home soon as well because I think you're right, I just need a breather. Hopefully you get the chance to come back again, seeing as your fluent and about to be married to a Korean I'm sure you'll find something more than just an English teaching job. Best and thanks for watching!
Ngl where ever u live we do find toxic ppl around us ( if some1 wanna make u feel an outsider tho u r not they'll do)
the place where I was born and currently living is just same as other places in this world (just my opinion) these ppl do comment on my body weight or how I talk or behave, eat, sleep etc which is not harming them in any form or shape still gotta be judgemental I just ignore these ppl (or what else u can do man, tho they're educated enough still act as illerate i don't wanna waste my time on them) just wanna happily and want to share positive energy as mush as possible...
What is "ESL and hagwon bullsh**?"
@@maywalker997 wondering the same
Wow, this is a great write-up! I wish I could feel so free to be myself, but I've had a slightly different experience. After the "honeymoon phase" in Korea, I started to notice the homogeneity, snobbery, and general competitiveness in Korea and just felt like I'd gotten into a coffin that I couldn't get out of. After graduate school, I'm definitely going to move back to America because I cannot deal with how superficial and shallow the culture is here. I just feel like I used to be such a good person, but Korea has really worn down that innocence.
As an italian dreaming about Korea for quite some time, i want to say thank you for helping me face a burden I've been dealing with in silence. It was this toxic thing where I kinda knew I wanted to move and base my life on travelling experiences just because I hoped changing places would help me change myself as well and escape from problems, but I couldn't admit it. Thank you for helping me address that, and know that all around the world there are people struggling with a lot of stuff, so you're never alone! Thank you for sharing, I hope you're doing better by now❤️
Yeahh! No problem, it's always a bit healing to knownthat we're not suffering alone! I do hope that you're able to address those issue and get the chance to travel. I'm doing better, how are you?
So glad to hear it! I'm doing fine, trying to focus more on the present. I send you a hug❤️
It's a great thing to realize you even have a problem, so be proud of that. Many people grow old, but never admit that they have problems until the day they die. If you're willing to be open with yourself and realize you need to make a change, it's a great first step to actually making that change. It can be great, but you don't NEED to make a big change (like moving to a new country) to change yourself. Change happens anywhere, all the time, if you open yourself to it and allow it to happen :)
Dipende, probabilmente sarai adorata. È una lotteria (
I would love to live in your country, Italy is awesome
I lived there for 5 years since i got scholarship at yonsei. I can feel what you felt. It’s tiring to always overdo the korean students just to prove them i deserve to be here. Even some students said “can a se asians even compete here?” or “why the heck is our government gave endowment to se asians instead of us?” and it hurts since it was just because of where i came from.
But after i gained some korean friends, i gained back my confidence. I can now even tell them back “yeah, said a someone who use parent money, such a burden”🤣 i know it’s mean, but at least it boosted my confidence, and it put them back to their place.
Just to remind you that u HAVE something that they don’t, that is the power to endure being minority.
For sure, I'm glad you were able to find some way to cope with that type of nonsense. Wishing you the best 😁
Tell me more about yonsei. I tried my luck this year for yonsei too, can you teach me some hint so i can be more outstanding to be choosen by yonsei? Hehe
Btw they just jealous and put you down so they can feel much higher and better, but they don't. It just make you much higher instead, especially you've got some ball to hit them up sarcastically lol. KEEP IT UP.
my take on this is that no country is free from bad people. anywhere you go there is definitely gonna be hate and prejudice,
THIS!
Couldn't agree more. I live in Germany and here's also not everything perfect. You can always meet bad and toxic people, regardless were you. You will always meet typical Problems like korrupt Politicians, radical people, a "If you don't agree with you're my enemy" -Attitude, unrealistic beauty standards, judgement, high standards for school, life and work and also bullying. Specifically in Germany we have a Huge culture of envy and complaining, a staring culture, a tendency to very strictly follow rules (even if they are kinda stupid), a lot of unnecessary bureaucracy and a high Expectation when it comes to working hard.
Absolutely, life is never easy, and that’s why it’s worth living.
i felt this on a deep level. i've been in korea for 8 months now and i'm definitely in that phase of "who am i, what am i doing here, why am i not happy, i should be happy IM IN KOREA" it was nice to hear that im not the only one struggling with that. thank you for sharing your story!
This what happens with soft power influencing your mind .
@@blueeyes6192 this is so true. The true power of soft power is you don't really aware, you buy into the narratives but then the reality hits.....
The oppa Hunter should watch this, I'm sick of people trying too hard to beautify Korea just because they watch K-drama. I'm from conservative country, there's a lot of difficulty. But compared to skorea, I'm kinda relieved I'm not born and have to live there for the rest of my life in Korea. Toxic, patriarchy, hierarchy, bullying, Hippocrates, double standard, dominance sindrom. they live in artificial world where seems like everything is not good enough. Of course not every single of them like that, i made a couple of friend. Just keep it in your mind if you have a plan to stay here, things can be rough.
Ps. If you're white this won't matter thoo, they love White ppl, probably more than they love their ppl.
nah.. they hated the white as much as they hated any other foreigner.
@@frozencereal7381 not true. Want a prove? Type "mas gunawan korea". Youll see how they treat foreigners differently based on their skin colors.
@@harukrentz435 some experience is different for a different people. my colleague was from quebec he was extremely discriminated in his teaching job in seoul.
You are right..i m not from korea but I was most koreans directly say on their social networking site profiles that they love people from there,want to have relationship there,love between SK and their flags amd even say dont knock me if u r not from those selective countries.. Another thing I didnt like their young boys are so unrestrained .. They take pervertness as normal.. 😑 obviously all are not like that but moslty 🙂 This was enough for me to give trauma about them
i dont agree w the last part. my dad is white and they definitely didnt treat him better, but they did treat him a lot differently than they would to their own ppl
I love how positive and humble he is. He seems like he would be a great friend.
as a korean I'm sorry for what you've been through. but in positive way, through that experience, I thought you've learned how to deal with relationships more than ever. that will be your one of the valuable assets
Very true! It is a positive aspect of living in Korea, i was able to learn a lot about myself. Thanks for watching 😊
A few years ago when I way in the beginning of my teenage years I really wanted to korea. As I grew older I still like Korea but inly to the point that I don't have the huge desire to live there anymore. I wouldn't say no if someone offered me but I am also not forcing it. I would like to live there for the scenery but not for the people.
Definitely, Korea has a lot to offer so I hope someone throws that offer to you someday 😁 there's a lot to experience and gain from traveling abroad, especially in Korea. Thanks for watching!
Not for the ppl? Why do you have to throw the whole society of ppl under the bus like that?
@just a lame username You username makes you sound lame 🤡 jokes okay I probs am sus ~
As someone who's lived in four different countries, I would say there is some truth to what you say. Moving to another country (or to another city in your own country) because you're interested in the culture is fine, but you need to take care of your own personal issues first. But that's what your 20s are for--you should be self-reflecting and improving on yourself. For some people, changing your environment is that push you need, while for others it doesn't help fix the problems at all.
On a more personal note, I've found it's best to move to another environment (be it a new city or a new country altogether) with low expectations so that you don't get disappointed if/when something happens. It sounds counterintuitive but it helps you appreciate the positive things more.
You don’t know how much i needed to hear this. I wasn’t specifically thinking about moving to Korea, but i was pondering on the idea of getting out of my current environment because i was having one of those existential crises you mentioned. This made me rethink my “next step” in life. Thank you.
Glad it was helpful! Wish you the best in whatever's next 😁
Something I am only recently realizing 4 years after moving away from the life I grew up in (just a couple states away) is that the idea that you can "move to a city where nobody knows your name, and redefine yourself" is impossible. You are never outside yourself, so your goal should be to understand, to heal hurts, and to love yourself. But all of those things are constantly in flux, and different places will only change your mindset, not your ultimate self.
I hope you're doing alright! I know life is crazy and you're just getting settled in. Fingers crossed I pass the months and months of waiting for EPIK, it'd be awesome to meet you someday!
Yess! Couldn't have said it any better. Going to a new city, state, country can only do so much. The work still has to be done from within and if you don't take the time to address that as well, there really is no difference.
Same! I hope youre doing okay out there too and hope the best for your application! Yeah it would be awesome if we could meet up someday even if it's not Korea 😁
@@Will_ly Man I really feel like a grown up talking about life like this 😭😭 but it's kinda awesome to realize you've changed and that you feel... better. And of course it's not like the people in your life have no part; anybody you meet and get close to is doing to impart something to you. It's so cool.
I'm hoping to hear about interview stuff this week or next. We'll see! But you're right, it would be awesome to meet wherever we end up!!
@@ohmy_michaela haha adulting at its finest 👌 yeah it is really cool to reflect back on all the individuals who've had an impact on you!
Good luck lmk!
This is SO true. I have actually thought about it but I realize that I'll carry myself wherever I go. Besides, no human being or system should have the power to alter who I am completely and it is unfair to hand over that burden anyway.
I just started watching kdrama last yr and cuz of that I started stanning an artist. Cuz of this, I got a glimpse of how K netizens are like and toxic is the right word, they are very prejudiced and just toxicity is high there. Even watching from afar, u noticed their toxicity
So true, like even from afar you can see the way that k netz think and what they believe, and usually it relates to scandals and beauty standards which is so drastically different to western countries. It’s definitely just a place I want to visit but I don’t think I want to move to any country cause I like where I live
k netz are a breed most koreans hate
I am from India, and as an Indian for us healthy soul is really important, as India is a country rich in spirituality. For me Korea is really full of materialistic cravings it just makes you tired.
Cannot agree with this more! As much as i love Korea's food and culture, i have to say people (not all obviously) are too materialistic. They focus so much on the aesthetics and visuals. Oh and their unrealistic expectations from others.. i feel like the Japanese society is similar to that of korea but I'll have to say the younger gen is definitely different. I wish to visit these countries one day just for vacations
I am also an India. It’s no more like that. People here are money minded, selfish always judging one another in respect to who has how much. And the worst part most of us want it easy.
"Spirituality", "soul" etc are marketing buzzwords to promote tourism, sexualized yoga, 3rd rate quantity over quality movies/drama series and pseudo scientific health 'treatments' to naive and clueless westerners eager to 'find themselves'. the reality is, current day india is just as toxic, selfish, prejudiced and materialistic as any other neo-liberal capitalist dog-eat-dog place.
No one country in our present world is perfect. That includes my homeland, India as well. There are good people everywhere and there are bad people everywhere as well. Let's not generalize an entire nation, with a rich culture and long history based on the few we've encountered. Peace and love to everyone out there!
Most people want to experience the culture of Korea. What can I say? I can get all the culture in my country by moving a few states. And being a poc there is no way I am going to visit to get comments on my skin color and my chest size.
this is great, thank you
Thanks for watching!!
This is very informative. I, for a long time wanted to move to Korea. I went for a visit back in 2019. It was an interesting experience. I know that foreigners have it difficult and at first I didn't want to let that stop me. However, the more I do my research on living there and the laws that run the land, I'm starting to see that it would probably be in my best interest to just love Korea from a distance and to just travel but keep my permanent residence somewhere else. I am not a fan of K-dramas but I even felt after going there for the first time that things are not as rainbows and unicorns as its shown to be. Plus, I value trying to keep my mental health in check and after the videos and other sources I've seen, I ultimately will just travel here and there to Korea but I no longer have a desire to live there. I love the way you give your explanations. Its the real deal and your so down to Earth. Thank you very much 😌
Thank you so much for watching! I'm not discouraging living in Korea because it is a great country. I just want people to take notice of their own mental/emotional state before making these types of decisions. If I had done so I'm sure my experience here would be even better than it already is 😁 so don't let this completely discourage you from living in Korea at least for a year for the experience. Best!
For me moving abroad was the escape from decades of abuse. Did the impact it had follow me to every country I went? Yes, definitely! But at least I was safe from being abused and those were the best years of my life and I even found the help and support I needed in the foreign country I am still residing in today. So there is nothing wrong with moving abroad with mental health or family issues, it depends heavily on the circumstances you are in and what motivates you to move. I moved for my studies and work, but essentially and unknowingly at the time it was my escape from an abusive family.
I agree. I've moved abroad five years ago for the exact same reason. At the time I was on survival mode and I hated the country of my childhood because I thought people were "backwards" and it was "underdeveloped", but the only reason I thought this way was because of my racist abusive mom (and also dad, but my mom would be very actively abusive whereas my dad was basically neglectful and didn't take anything seriously). I can even recall that early on in my childhood I didn't have this hatred and judgement, but after a certain point it started to develop because my mom would glorify the US and would talk shit about the locals. I must add, she's white and I'm mixed although I'm also white (for US that'd be white-passing), and even though she'd say things like "you're not like the other people here" "you're smarter/prettier than people here" I'd still interpret that as being from the same group of people like these "ugly/lazy/dumb locals". They were basically "compliments" masked as insults.
At the age of 18 I managed to move out of the country because I played along with my mom's narrative of studying abroad. She glorified it so much so I took advantage of it. However, I must say that the first 3-4 years were the worst because I'd still recieve threats from her of all nature, from being forced to move back in with them to not helping me finish college. One day she would say something positive and the next she'd threaten me with something wild like suicide. Additionally, the "support group" I thought I had was never reliable in the first place. If I had to run for my life again, I had nowhere to go.
It took the pandemic for my parents to finally divorce, and now things have changed for the better in most aspects of life. But even though I've said my first years abroad were horrible, it was still much better than living with my parents. I already knew at 17-18, that if I stayed I wouldn't have been around anymore. And despite being depressed and having these problems still chase me around (trust me, I've seeked help but the services and people I've met during my undergrad weren't very helpful to be honest), I still managed to discover parts of myself I would've never been able to discover had I stayed behind. I also have finally woken up to the reality that my mom is an insecure bitch with self-esteem issues who had to lash it out on someone, and that someone happened to be me. I still don't forgive her and I don't think I ever will (she doesn't deserve my forgiveness and I'm living quite happily without her presence around), but it for sure has helped me see my childhood country with different eyes. I no longer feel "dirty" or "inferior" because I was born there. I still have a long way to go, and I still need therapy to deal with all these issues, but life is slowly getting better and I'm glad I moved out at the age I did.
I find your story so relatable. I’m kinda going through exact same thing, even though I’m not living in foreign country, but just living alone in a city faraway from my family. Sometimes when facing with hardships or anxiety or loneliness, I wonder why do I have to continue suffering like this. I went back home for awhile, and then I realize that I miss the city and my life there. I always wait for a big moment/success to prove my worth, but I realize if I don’t enjoy the journey, it’s very difficult to keep on trying. Happiness indeed comes from within. No matter where you are, if you’re not happy with the present, you will continue feeling miserable inside. Love your content.
Are you back home now? Wishing you the best though with finding that happiness from within, I'm sure the journey will eventually come back in a roundabout way to help show your growth and development towards your goals! Thanks for watching 😁
@@Will_ly I used to visit my hometown every month because my parents’ love soothes all the pain away. But due to covid, I’m not able to do that for awhile. BTW This comment section is so precious, I love how people open up about their experiences and the same struggle that we’re going through. Keep it up 👍
As I really want to leave my home country since many years, I told everyone that I'd leave as early as I can but then, I realized that I should first take care of my mental health at home and leave when I feel better. I also want to have a reason or a goal or a purpose to go somewhere else and build my trip around it not just as a tourist.
If we're the part of the population who have the option to travel and still realize that it is hard and you need to be courageous. We should also be able to recognize the strength that all the people who leave their country because of war have. In my country people don't like having them around and they must feel it.
Anyway, thanks for that video !
That’s exactly how i feel like living in the States as a Korean. Especially being a POC in one of the extremely conservative state. I’ve never imagined myself to be a minority and how it would impact my life. I planned to live here for the rest of my life but after 6 years of living, I’m planning to move back to where I’m from. Huge support to whoever lives abroad!
Sorry you had a rough experience. As an American living in SK who is more or less on the conservative side, people should have been nicer. We're all just trying to find our purpose and achieve the things that matter to us.
It's the same in progressive parts but worse: they gaslight you. Living in Korea is also tough for Korean gyopo's because they don't view you as a foreigner and expect you to be Korean. You are gonna be in for a huge disappointment if you think you are going to have an easier time because you are ethnically Korean. It's not the same culture
But your experience would be totally different in a place like NYC or LA
@@yaris684 i think the person said they're Korean and had a hard time living in a conservative area of the US so they're returning to Korea?
@@yaris684 what's a gyopo?
Didn't expect you notice self love and self worth kind of thing. I mean maybe it's just me who didn't see that many guy who really know the source of their sorrow and emptiness. What you said shows that you actually know yourself well and you're honest to yourself. Deep!
Haha I'm getting there! Thanks for watching appreciate it 😁
It's easy to move countries as long as you keep a couple things in mind. First, understand that a new country/scene won't "change" or "fix" your personal issues. You can't run away from them, your baggage might take some time to catch up to you but it always does. Second, don't go to a new country with the mindset that the people should think and act like you. I see WAY too many TH-camrs who go to Korea and then slam the people and the country without fully understanding it. That's just some privileged and ignorant thinking.
*I don’t know about the often thrown about ad nauseam title of “privilege” but…*
This is such a REAL video. Real talk: travel, and trying to integrate into a culture alone (expecially, from what I can tell, Korea) can be incredibly difficult and depressing. Travel is often glamorized but it can be extremely tough and the reality of that shouldn't be ignored.
Those painting in the back though, they’re so cute
The cutest 😄
I dont think you should feel any type of way about not being happy in Korea. Circumstances change, people change, goals change, values change, you cannot expect to be satisfied through many years with the same thing. When you moved there, you did it coz your current self wanted to and needed to try it out. I think a mistake that many of us do is to try to force ourselves into our past dreams,(I know I do it a lot and it does nothing but make me misrable) when the person who had them and enjoyed them is no longer us or the dream itself was not based on the reality. Listen to your current self, your current needs and goals, without the added presumptions of what you should enjoy and what Korea should be for you. People often see it as failure if they fail to achieve what they set up for themselves to do in the past, but how is it a failure to change as a person and let reality change your dreams? Adaptabiltiy nad change are the biggest reasons why we humans are even alive, so embrace it :)
I agree, as you experience the world and learn more about yourself it's important to reflect on what your current needs and goals are so that you are stuck chasing the past. Thanks for such an awesome comment! I'll continue to embrace life as it is and enjoy the moments I can and appreciate everything else with it😁
Yes what wonderful insight! Your comment really touched me. Thank you 🙏🏾. Just what I needed to read as time moves me into 50 years of living & striving in 2022. Yep definitely needed these words 🤔.
I loved myself and I was happy. But moving abroad to Japan and seeing how they treat people based on how they look changed me. My mental health and self-confidence went down the drain sadly. It's hard but I'm gaining it back and I can't wait to go back home and be happy and comfortable with myself again.
It's really unfortunate how an environment can also be damaging to one's mental self. I hope things turn around for you during the rest of your stay, best of luck!
thank you for sharing this. I've been so caught up in trying to do the "big move", that I've completely forgotten to be happy with exactly where I am in my life right now. Your comments about not dealing with your issues and potentially having them surface to mentally / emotionally break you, is very true. This video hit home for me in more ways than one and I just want to say thank you. I hope your time in Korea is going well and remember to take life one day at a time. God bless.
I'm glad it was helpful! I know what you mean, when you’re in the middle of the hustle and bustle its very easy to forget about living in the moment aha 😅 thank you for the watch and I hope you're able to have a pleasant move!
I didnt deal with my mental issues growing up, I entered med was doing well and then my mental issues resurfaced, made me sick and now I'm out of med. Well, I can agree that wow you really need a strong sense of worth and value if you want to make it far and enjoy life....lesson learned the hard way but nonetheless still learned
@@yarenot9878 same, probably why I am doing so now, as they say better late than never, especially when it comes to mental health!
Hmm, I think it takes real courage to be humble and admit you're wrong. Sure you're embarrassed and sad for a while but in the long run, if you just go home and admit you were wrong about it your expectations, what's the worse that can happen. Your real friends and family would understand and appreciate your honesty and would love to listen to your experiences.
Yeah it was something super hard for me to do for a long time, unnecessary pride always in the way aha... but now I know it was only getting in the way of growth. Thanms for watching 😁
i went to korea for a year and i struggled with loneliness and some comparison/loss of identity, but after coming back it was worth it for me. however, i think you’re in a different situation because you graduated and chose to live there (i also have thought about teaching english after i graduate in korea, but i think i would also have a lot of self-doubt about my purpose there and i’m not sure i can make the decision to live in korea again long term without a very specific purpose). looking back at my time in korea, my daily life structure was so much more active than it is in the us (where i’m from), and thus my well being was also better. there were toxic people i met, but because i was putting so much effort into meeting people, i made some great friendships as well. i think there’s definitely a period where you need to get over the romanticization of the country, but i do also think if you have a good job, stable friend group, a true desire to live in korea, and a plan for what you will accomplish for yourself while there, it can be an incredibly fulfilling and pleasant experience.
Yup. I agree. Been here in Busan since 2013. I had a bit of expectations since I took Korean classes for 2 years and learned about the culture a bit. In my first couple years here, there were things about Korea that make me question why I've been here for so long. But I feel like that would be the same for any country. Enjoyable things come from what you do and not always from what your outside factors contribute :)
Yeahhh, definitely a lot of great things in Korea but a lot of things that can still happen here especially if you don't take care of yourself first. It seems like you've been able to find ways to still enjoy yourself here even through the ups and downs so thats good 😁
Living abroad is hard. You must have a very strong emotional why to want to live abroad. Been living abroad for almost 14 years now and its been a roller coater ride over the years. But I must admit that there are so much more perks when you break barriers of your comfort zone.
It’s so crazy how most of us live for the future when we don’t even know what the future holds in store. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with looking forward to the future, but lately I’ve realised just how much I’m constantly searching for this idealistic likely non-existent period of life where I’ll be the best version of myself and have a lot of the things that I want, or I’m fuelled by nostalgia for times that only in hindsight feel like they were better than my present and - yeah. You really hit the nail on the head with this. I went through something similar and it’s a pretty rude awakening when you finally go abroad only to realise it doesn’t solve all your problems or magically spirit away everything about yourself that you don’t like.
I get you, thanks for watching! I hope you're in a better place now too 😁
I just found this video and I strongly relate to this… I’ve been living in Japan since 2019 and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions. To be completely alone with no support and real people around me, I’m not saying those around me aren’t good people but I noticed a lot of fake smiles & words.
I was in a really low place after needing to undergo back surgery in a country I don’t speak the language fluently, with no help and it cost me my job (I’m a horse riding instructor so it’s not something I can do sitting or from home…). So many things have shook me since I arrived here but I also had amazing experiences and met good people.
Living abroad is hard and certainly not for everyone, to be away from your friends and family can be a very hard thing to bear sometimes.
I honestly hope you’re doing better and find yourself in a better place. I’m working really hard to get my life back together too, even though it’s not so easy to always be strong and stay positive. Your video & comment section helped me understand and see things more deeply.
Thank you everyone
Really appreciate you sharing you experience. First, I hope you're able to ride horses again soon if not already! I know how mentally defeating it can be to not be able to do something you've done all your life. I'm glad you're getting yourself back together. Hope good fortune comes your way and you're able to continue being strong and staying positive. Best!
Sending lots of hugs and love your way; I know you will pull through the tough situations soon.
I moved to from America to Australia for love. It is one of the biggest regrets of my life.
If anyone reading this is thinking of doing the same. Think long and hard. Once the honeymoon phase wears off in a few years you will realize that this one person you fell in love with will never make up for all of the friends and family you left behind, the seasons and holidays at home, your belongings and pets, your sense of home.
You'll discover that this person has just as many flaws as someone you might have met in your home country, and you'll have to navigate the ups and downs of any relationship alone. You can't go to your best friend's place after a fight for a cry and a hug. You can't stay at your parent's or sibling's place for a few days. If a pandemic hits, you won't even get to see anyone for years.
Hey just wondering but is Australia's social safety net really doesn't compensate for your bad relationship?
Very good point. I think in those cases it’s also important to have a discussion with your partner if they would be willing to do the same for you. It’s a lot to ask of someone, and if they wouldn’t reciprocate…I’d think long and hard about it.
Very very true
Thank you for sharing this. You offer a lot of wisdom here. I lived in Korea about 20 years ago and experienced much the same thing. When the honeymoon phase ends, you realize no matter where you go, there you are.
Something I realized much later was that it’s not just about being happy or enjoying myself. It’s about what I am made for. What is the gift of my life going to look like. We are each made with perfect dignity in the eyes of God, and we each have a purpose in life. Which is not to say that our dignity is earned or delivered from what we do. We are truly loved no matter what by our creator and Savior. Nevertheless, it is up to us to find how our gifts and talents and dreams are to serve others. In this way we find peace and true happiness.
Anyway, please keep your videos coming. I just discovered them so I will be watching. :-) God bless you!
Off topic, but you’re so handsome!!
This is a great topic too I appreciate you bringing it up 😆
That's why I started watching... but stayed for the words 😊
Yessss
😂😂😂
Same hahah
korea and japan, these kind of country where they have very straight patriarchy culture is very hard to survive for long term, apart from language barrier, their everyday life and work culture is very different and stressful tbh, especially for outsider, i used to work for biggest airline in korea and believe me it was hard (approx 1 year) and i moved to middle east/ ME (6 years), its easier to survive in ME because most of them are expats just like me, dont try too hard on yourself to fit in and dont just get carried by their flow and accepting whatever environment you might encounter (swallow it and zip your mouth kind of thing), believe me you will suffocate yourself one day. always prioritize yourself first (mentally and health), move till you find supportive environment because in the end of the day we take responsible for our own happiness (believe me, not all sh*t need to be justified in the name of culture and we are not trash bin btw), take care yourself and dun settle till you happy! dun need to give a dang about other ppl's opinion coz its means nothing for long term.
Yes this!!
@chobopanda that's interesting. I follow a canadian YT couple who, after a few vacations to japan, actually moved there. They immediately fell in love with the culture and the people. They've been there for 2-3 years now. I think they're thriving there (despite difficulties I'm sure) because they didn't have these often too optimistic, pre-conceived, notions about japan. They were very realistic.
@chobopanda I second this! I came to live in Japan with quite negative expectations and after few months of adjusting to the country, I had a lot of good surprises and I am really satisfied with my life here. Actually I also lived in Korea for almost half a year, and from my experience, it is completely different and I feel like Japan is much less toxic than Korea.
Great cautions, good comment.
What? Most people in the Middle East are expats? I've never been there, but it sounds improbable.
The Korean culture and lifestyle seems really intriguing and makes you want to move there but that’s all just very superficial and dreamy, imo. It’s not easy to live in SK. Although pretty developed, people there are still kinda conservative. Firstly, if you can’t keep up with the toxic hustle culture, you’re done for. Secondly, they have standardised concepts of doing things which may or may not suit you. Lastly, people are going to be very different from what you imagine them to be.
Every foreign country is difficult to live in, honestly. I’m not saying SK is a bad country but Asian countries, in general, are a bit harsher so one must keep that in mind before moving.
That's so true. One of the best examples is Paris syndrome it exists and there is a helpline in Japan for Japanese people who romantIcize about how Paris will be for them and when the reality hits so hard they are shattered. This is a great video!!
Woahh thats interesting! I wonder if they have that here in Korea too because sometimes it seems like a lot of people are into Paris and shows like Emily in Paris 🤔
I guess most countries now need to develop a helpline for SK syndrome :)
SK syndrome is getting out of hand
Actually it's a helpline in China, not Japan :)
@@untitled1464 Paris syndrome became known due to Japanese tourists and there is a help line for Japanese tourists in The Japanese embassy in Paris.
It's time people become aware that Toulouse is far nicer than Paris haha
Sounds like you really matured through this experience. I consider that an amazing accomplishment. Good for you. Becoming comfortable in your own skin is worth the journey. 👍
Haha thank you appreciate this! 😁
I came across your video by chance. I have the opposite feeling about living abroad. I found that since moving to Korea in 2012, thousands of miles away from everyone that I know, I finally found myself and who I am. I found that living alone abroad pushed me to realize my full potential of being capable and independent bcos I had no one but myself to rely on.
I was in Korea for 2 years then moved to Thailand for 7 years. I'm now in Singapore and have no intentions of ever returning to the US to live.
If you asked me if I'd ever move back to Korea, the answer would be hell no! Would I move back to Thailand? Hell yessss!
What do you likr about Thailand?
You seem like a good soul. I wish you luck. As an older person, I can tell you that it's the appreciation of and true enjoyment from the little things in life that helps to make life worth living on a day to day basis.
Something I'm still learning everyday and yes it does make life more enjoyable! Thanks for watching :)
This is so true. I moved to Japan 5 years ago cause it was my dream and even tho it took me years of effort to be able to do it the same way I was miserable in my country and I sometimes am miserable here as well. Your mental health doesn't magically change nor your problems disappear cause you are living abroad but i'd rather be here than home. I still get to wake up and think about everything I left behind was worth it for my dream and myself. I have a good job and am able to help my family if they need me so it's a matter of priorities and choices. I think everyone should try to do it at least once. You never know what you can learn about yourself through this experience.
So true, being here in SK has given me so much that I wouldn't trade for the world. So I'm glad that I'm here. I just hope no one has to suffer the mental strains I did before coming here, it make their lives a lot easier 😁 thanks for watching!!
Lived in Japan 10 years. No issues personally. Best advice I can give is, expect everything to be shit. No matter where you are in life, don't get too excited like a damn child. Be realistic and stop being so fucking dramatic. If you move to a country, get fluent in the language and live with grounded expectations. Doing so will mitigate emotional damages while maximizing positive experiences.
This is easily the best advice. Moving to another country is f-ing hard. Expect it to be hard and roll with the punches. It will not be like living in your home country.
@@HKim0072 But at least moving to a different country is WAY WAY easier than moving to an alien civilization ;-)
wherever you go, there you are. Thank you for summing up exactly how I feel and why I'm putting off Korea until I can be happy with me.
You don't have to put it off completely finding self love is a journey and going to Korea could be a part of that journey. Just be cautious of your own mental/emotional state when you decide to make these changes 😁 thank you for the watch and best to you!
I have found it difficult enough moving to different places in my own country, because it exposes how vulnerable I am each time. If anything, it only gets harder with age to start over again somewhere new.
With that said, I've never travelled anywhere with the expectation it would make me a different person (except maybe when I left home for college, and I learned fast that it wasn't going to happen). Going to different parts of the world doesn't create an ideal new you.
_But_ I think _it does_ make you a richer version of yourself, if you go with your eyes, ears, and heart open. I think it's kind of like a new place can partially reset you to being ten years old: everything is strange and new, which opens you up, but there's the same potential for good and bad as anywhere. With that comes the opportunity to broaden your horizons, but you're still the same person.
I don't know if any of that makes sense or matters much. 😂✌
For sure, it made sense to me and agree this richer version if you is able to see the world around you and yourself from different perspectives, opening yourself to more opportunities for happiness from within, but you're still you 😄 thanks for watching! Best!
I learnt my lesson when I did a 6 weeks research in a foreign land. The people there were not totally what I expected. While some of them left sweet memories, most of them left the bitter pain ones. I had trust issues (got scammed a lot even by people of the same race who had stay there for a long time), being misjudged, got dissapointed and more. At the end, I just stop caring what others think of me and started living my life the way I wanted to. It also brought me closer to my God because it was to Him that I let it out all my sadness and problems. I cut off toxic people and just did most of the things alone. You just have to find YOUR own style of coping with a new environment.
I feel like this 12 minute video really could help me in the future! I love how you share your personal opinion in such an understandable ways, helps me a lot in contemplating whether I should move there or not. Even as a person who hasn’t gone there yet, I feel like I could relate towards your “emotional support” topic. It’s my biggest fear of moving somewhere far - being mentally and physically alone when I need support because no one in my family is Korean! You’re also very funny too, just gained a new sub!
Thank for the sub and watching the video! Glad it was helpful for you and I really hope that it translate well in the future. Wishing you the best 😁😁
For me moving away from Seoul helped a lot. I feel more creative in my new city. I also decided to allow myself to create without pressure and do things I like. I found relationships are hard when living abroad.
I really enjoy your perspective on traveling to another country. When you decide to really live in another country, always have an open mind. This is from my personal opinion. I have traveled to another countries and islands. I migrated to America and I had to adjust to everything but I kept my accent. It was extremely hard and I cried many times because there were, and still are difficulties. One of the things you said best is to learn to be happy for you. Learn to appreciate you. Traveling and living abroad is truly an eye opener for me. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
I hope I can get the chance to meet you when I make it to Korea, you're so insightful and self-aware!
Aha thanks! I'm always down to meet new people and viewers when I have the time! When will you be in Korea?
@@Will_ly hopefully this fall! If not, then spring - I'm trying to go the EPIK route
@@brew7632 good luck!
@@Will_ly you should try to find a girlfriend there. Go to bars, cafes where girls hang out. It will make your life more fun, but you have to make sure she’s nice and drama/toxic free.
Bars and whatnot i visit frequently aha! But dating 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔😆
That is what EVEYONE goes through when they live abroad...I subscribed. You are sooo real. THANK YOU!
Thank you thank you!!
So relatable 😭. In general, moving abroad and experiencing life in a different country... isnt always going to be fun and glamorous. Ive been in japan for half a decade now, but seeing the downsides to living here has really got me thinking of maybe moving to another place thats more progressive society-wise. Countries like SK and Japan look so amazing from the outside, and they are, but you have to realize that they have deep-seated societal issues that may directly or indirectly affect your mental and emotional well-being (racism and discrimination, high expectations in the workplace, overwork, etc). The amount of ignorance and indifference to the well-being of people here is insane yall
Ive been doing business with korean companies/people for the past 9 years. It was very rough at beginning but it became better and better. I also learned their language and it does have good impact. I personally think to wherever we go it will be about understanding their culture and how u can adapt/adjust to it. No countries in the world would be easy to live in except our own country. Good luck!!!
Indeed, if light hearted and not strong will person can’t survive in another country. Some can be accepted and some are not. Keep it, you can do it!
Where ever you go, as soon as you arrive, the first person you met is yourself. This alone makes you feel uncomfortable to start with, it is you who has to adjust to the new environment you chose to be, not the other way around. Each country in the world has two faces, the one which provides culture, music, beauty, the things that charm the soul, then you have the harsh reality of daily life with all its distinctive peculiarities, which means the life of the working men and women having to make a living in a world wide economical system based on exploitation of human labor and pursuit of profit. Make no mistake to combine the two into one, two different category of fish. I got trapped myself as an artist into the charm of Chinese culture based on thousands of years of civilization, once there , the harsh reality of daily life didn't give me much room to think creatively and eventually came back to my own country with a luggage of wisdom and knowledge which I would never had other ways but nothing else if not to start from zero ground once more while in my middle age. Not an easy thing to do I can say that much.
I lived in Japan for two years and taught English. It was such a mixed bag. Especially with the virus thing, I look back on that time as one of the best times of my life but I was also really unhappy at the same time. It’s not something you can explain well to anyone who hasn’t lived abroad. They just won’t get it. And try to get into a serious relationship as an English teacher - it’s low pay and low security. Ouch.
Aha the serious relationship hit for sure, even for friends, living abroad is so fleeting that serious relationships are ironic 😅 thanks for watching though glad you could relate!
Well said--agreed.
So was you real intention to earn money as a teacher or to find a partner?
Having the same expérience also in japan. Most of people who have dreams about Japan refuse to accept the idea that No japan is not a perfect place.
@@crazypresci As a half Japanese person I have made it my thing to enlighten people and change their “Japan is perfect” mindset. Japan never asked for that and it’s not fair for them that they have to live up to mostly all American teens view on Japan. Japan has never and will never be perfect. You will never be accepted as a Japanese person because you are not, you will always be called Gaijin because you are. Every country in the world has good and bad things about them. But this romanticism about Japan and Japanese culture needs to END! The Japanese people never asked for it, it is a made up stamp that was put on the Japanese by the Americans, and it needs to end.
I'm glad that you have your input and I'm glad that I have never glorified the country. I'm moving cause I like experiencing things whether good or bad. I don't like having a small bubble around me. I want to experience and be educated.
I lived in China for four years as a grad student who speaks Mandarin and had quite a few friends there, so I'm speaking from personal experience when I say I went through all the same rollercoaster ride, and you're totally right about everything you mention in this video. When you leave your cultural comfort zone you have to be prepared to face yourself in the best and worst of ways, especially if you don't have many friends and/or are isolated from the language. That's a hard pill to swallow when you're used to being comfortable in your home country without having to confront those issues-- in my opinion it wasn't entirely China (or Korea, or wherever) making things hard, it was ME! I was the problem! LOL You're so much stronger for taking the jump and facing yourself, don't forget that.
I was about to leave a comment and saw yours since it was the latest one posted.
And you are absolutely right. Life always has a way to teach us how we are our own problems 😂
Challenges and difficulties suck yes but that's also what will make us who we are and hopefully turn us into better versions of ourselves.
First of all, I think it is toally normal to have such thoughts one day or another. That's just how life is, I guess. Not everything works out completely like we would have aimed for and we don't always live in the perfect situation. However, I think challenges and obstacles like these are also good in some way, otherwise we can not move forward or even improve ourselfs.
Anyways, I think you have achieved a lot and you should not underestimate that. Furthermore, your videos are really entertaining and helping lots of people, including me, as I will go to Daegu next year to spend a semester abroad at KNU.
Thank you for that 🙌🏻
Definitely! Going through these challenges in life is essential for personal growth and without a doubt im glad to be where I am today! But yes, it's just how life is haha, that's awesome you'll be in Daegu, I'm sure you'll enjoy your time there. Hmu if you ever need some recommendations, thats where I started. Thanks for watching!
Wow can I just say, I really applaud you for this video. Especially when you talk about self-worth! I have gone through so many phases where I kept thinking all my life’s problems would be solved by moving abroad and I would finally feel like a whole person. That is not true at all. You have to find love in yourself first because nothing else can make you feel whole and complete. Finally someone said it!
As a Korean who has lived in Korea, to Buick it down, don’t move to Korea unless you like vanity. I myself am admitably pretty vain, I like clothes, hair, weight loss, etc., but if you don’t like doing that to a day to day bases, don’t move to Korea. Korea is a fairly vain country, and high fashion and look your best 24/7 isn’t just for the Kpop stars, if you’re under the age of 40 (unless you’re a woman), you’re expected to look your best at all times if you want to garner people’s respect. I love Korea and I love dressing up everyday, but if you think that will be too much pressure on you, visit instead. Korea is still an amazing place to visit, but really, if you’re not someone who loves to pamper yourself everyday you might not love Korea
Live in Seoul since almost 3 years couldn’t agree more
@@i.m_eemmaa yep, people really need to do reseach and also need to vibe with the lifestyle. Im a white guy and also enjoy that stuff and vibe, so i don't think that i would have that much trouble :)
I have been living in korea for 6 years and couldn’t agree more too
I’ve lived here in Japan, specifically Tokyo now for almost four and a half years and granted the honeymoon phase is over, I still find places in the city to fall in love with it all over again. From when I was three years old and into my childhood I came and visited off and on and watched this city and the country develop. Every time I left I felt incredibly sad, and felt like the yearn to live here and find the missing piece and growth I needed in my life. I’ve always loved growing up around Japanese culture, the food, language, etc. As a foreigner with dark skin too I stand out really well and though most people aren’t fond of me I feel the self love, to know that even though problems arise and there have been many dark days, the brightest days have far eclipsed those dark days and the love I have for myself and the passion and perseverance to push through every obstacle make me feel at ease. Living abroad isn’t for everybody and honestly after two years regardless of the country, if you feel like the bad heavily outweighs the good then likely you’re not meant for it.
Well said
Young man, hearing you speak makes me smile. I see the the wisdom and the flaws and your logic simply because I’m more than twice your age. Counting on anything outside of yourself to provide anything more than temporary happiness is always going to end in disappointment. You have to realize that you’re still in the face of achievement and we’re always taught to reach the next goal to find happiness never realizing that the next goal never truly comes. When you get the raise use in long for the promotion when you get the promotion you’ve been long for the big office when you get the big office using long for retirement when you reach retirement you look back and wish you would’ve enjoyed what you had while you had it. The only moment you will ever have is the only moment you’ll ever exist, right now. The you that made this video is not the same you that reads this comment. Eternity is not something that begins once your body ends eternity is now. You’re experiencing it, this is it. Find happiness in every waking moment and don’t be driven into the past with regret or sit with anxiety over the future. Smile, wish everyone joy and if you get overwhelmed find one thing that you’re grateful for and think of all the ways that it improves your life until you’re overcome with gratitude and happiness, then do your best to become what others can be grateful for.
Thank you for your comment, even looking back now, between this video and not a lot has already changed and things have been looking up since 😁
As I am korean living in the UK for 10 years, I also have a mixed feeling about Endland as well as Korea. I am still searching for the most appropriate word to define my feeling.
Same, I hope you're able find your balance, best of luck!
Hey, I lived in Taiwan for a long time and then Hong Kong. Everything you've said resonates with me so hard. I want you to know that I love you, not weird love but I care about you. You are not alone. Subscribed and gonna watch your journey. *hug*
Ahaha not weird at all 😁 sending out lots of love and care to you too! Where are you know? Still living abroad?
I've been in South Korea in 2019 for 10 days. It was just on my bucketlist. On one of the last days there I thought it would be nice working there. I always wanted to work abroad for a year or so but I didn't know where yet. And I thought South Korea would be amazing. After doing a lot of research I'm not really sure if I want to do it anymore. I see people indeed romanticizing that idea. I don't want to work in South Korea just to be in South Korea, I also want to gain experience and learn more. But it's not easy finding a job. And I'm a social worker, so that is going to be hard I think. Lately I'm really considering to go to South Korea just for a month to explore more. Not sure yet, still thinking about it. Thank you for this video!
If you're thinking about coming to Korea just to explore and learn, there’s no reason not to come! Korea is a great place to be, so don't worry too much, just have to appreciate it for what it is rather than what the media may portray it to be. Best of luck with your decision 😁
As a Social Worker myself, it would be difficult, I feel.
@@lukek5510 it would be impossible 🤣🤣🤣
Me: expecting for a tangible reason.
Instead, I learned a life-defining lesson. Thanks for that!
Thanks for watching!
Definitely resonated with a lot of these points! I’m still in the adjustment period of living in Korea and starting to hit that “what am I doing with my life” and “why did I move across the world” moments now.
I LOVED the movie “Soul” by the way, it was so refreshing
I'm still in the adjustment period of my life period 😅 thanks for watching though!
Yess "Soul" was a great reminder to just live life 😁 something I'm still learning to do