What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
- Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is common with ADHD and is a strong emotional reaction that can occur from any (real or perceived) criticism, rejection, discouragement, tease, etc. To the person experiencing the RSD, it can feel like a complete betrayal-a withdrawing of love or respect that causes deep pain. Often, this results in an explosive reaction, either externally via some sort of angry outburst, or internally as a feeling of instant and extreme depression.
00:00 What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
01:02 The Feeling We Get Is Real
02:15 Dr. William Dodson: The Pain from RSD
02:30 The Effects of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
04:10 Strategy: Label It As Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
05:00 Strategy: Create Space
06:31 Strategy: Remember the Past Relationship
07:06 Strategy: Reduce Stress
RESOURCES:
📝 What You Need To Know About Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Black Girl, Lost Keys)
blackgirllostkeys.com/adhd/ad...
📝 How ADHD Ignites Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (ADDitude Magazine)
www.additudemag.com/rejection...
📝 What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? (Psychology Today)
www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
📺 How to Deal with Rejection Sensitivity (How To ADHD)
• How to Deal with Rejec...
Patreon: patreon.com/jessej
Twitter: jessejanderson
Instagram: jessejanderson
Newsletter: extrafocus.io
Home: jessejanderson.com
I would sometimes get episodes where I wouldn't believe any of my relationships were real. That everyone was pretending to be nice to me and that no one actually wanted to be friends with me. It would go on for days and basically it was RSD teaming up with my depression and anxiety to become a nasty combo. I'm so glad I got on the meds I'm on now.
Yeah man, is insane
I get this too
yeah its a horrible feeling i sometimes stop talking to people with me
are you me?
I GET THIS, TOO. Reading that someone else experiences this makes me feel less insane.
I have NEVER been able to have a confrontational conversation without crying, I’ve been shamed so much for how I react in tense situations my whole life and in my twenties I’m finally getting diagnosed with ADHD. Thank you for this, for the first time I feel like I’m not crazy anymore
Me too. I didn't know it at all, I feel so relieved.
You're not, and I'm happy for you getting diagnosed in your twenties. Took me longer. I wasn't allowed to cry as a child. Boys weren't supposed to. So I resorted to anger and violence. This coupled with ADHD means I have never been able to have a confrontational conversation without feeling existentially threatened and then wanting to burn the world down. So exhausting. It really is a primitive feeling that cuts incredibly deep.
Crying can also be HSP.
If we start to quickly put labels, this is called hypocognition and hypercognition - and it can lead to misdiagnosis.
Yes! I thought it’s just my character or that I can’t endure stressful situations, but now I understand that it is not. Sometimes I even have to explain that I’m not being harassed, nobody’s dying etc., it’s just how I react to things.
Whenever someone has dumped me even after really quite short relationships, I feel like crying and I feel so pathetic about that. And I create a kind of false shell of invulnerability that is probably way too extreme, but it comes across as completely weird
That instant "wave" of dread that washes over your whole body and the physical pain and pressure in the chest. I think of the phrases "heavy heart" or "my heart sank to my stomach". In that moment, the situation feels UNBEARABLE. Expecially when it concerns someone I admire or value their acceptance and approval. Letting people down, being a disappointment, loosing trust or respect - those are my triggers.
OMG yes that describes it very well
I feel less alone when I see people relating, even tho paradoxically, dear lord I don't wish these experiences on anyone.
"That instant "wave" of dread that washes over your whole body " that is such a perfect explanation of it.
Omg 100%
100%
Spot-on for me too.
A tsunami of dread and guilt.
.
i think the most compelling thing i read about RSD is that it's a specific kind of "complex" (repeated) trauma. a book i read called "complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving" coined the term "emotional flashback" in the specific context of childhood trauma, and that people who suffer abuse and neglect frequently "go back" to the emotional states they experienced in childhood (helpless, furious, terrified, heartbroken). i do not know a person with ADHD who does not have a litany of insults that they have been called by the people who were supposed to care for them most . you basically grow up being gaslit to think you are lazy, inconsiderate, and incompetent by your superiors (family , teachers, bosses, partners ...) . any reminder of those times where you have been criticized would then lead to an "emotional flashback" where the pain of what you grew up with is brought up over and over . this leads to behaviors like: fawning (people pleasing), freezing (task paralysis, disassociation, memory pproblems), fleeing (avoidance), and finally fighting (bursts of anger), which are all parts of the RSD experience . please note that i am not a therapist , and cptsd is also "new" in terms of research , but i found it compelling when i read about it
Wow so true for me
I'm one, no insults from caregivers.
This is so huge for me i have been isolating as much as possible since at least 2018. Long before covid.. And I've had it since childhood - actually since birth i'd say. And it is there in the background, ready to ruin everything EVERY. THING. Have cut off contact with people who hurt me over and above what i can cope with - usually those cut-offs are permanent - or at least prolonged for many, many years. It is impossible for family, friends, strangers to ever understand this, i don't understand it myself 😞 actually HATE myself for it... 65 years old and it gets worse, not better. More recently have become increasingly afraid of getting upset in public. Rarely leave the house anymore, it is pure awful
wow and now im crying lmao
Complex PTSD is fascinating honestly. I think I make a good case for a good portion of my issues to be centered around it. (military veteran)
When I was young, like 8 years old young, an older friend (who I looked up to enormously) told me that no one like when a person invites themselves to things. To this day (35 years later), I struggle to get outside my bubble with people, partly because that "advice" cut so deep and runs through my head on a loop. The rejection is real, yall.
Fuck that person, pardon my french. The music festivals, for instance, is a perfect counter example to that. The more you invite yourself to gatherings and circles the cooler you are.
Omg I have the same, but at 14 when I was trying to be more confident and talkative bc i was so shy, opening up about this shyness my 'friend' turned around and said 'all you talk about is yourself' lol 10yrs later I'm still scared to tell people how I feel. I can't connect emotionally to people at all I don't trust them. Many bad experiences
I feel like I’ll always claim to be “happily single” because I literally cannot face the RSD. It’s bad enough with friends and family.
Ah man, me too... I say I'm staying single and "working on me", but I just can't handle what it does to me in a relationships when RSD kicks in. It can send me on such a bad spiral.
Big hug. You are loved, even when your brain says your not.
I feel you man. Same with me
How do friends even be possible?
I feel you, I have the same. "Happily single" it is haha
Mix RSD up with abandonment issues and you got probably the biggest pain I've ever felt in relationships. Had a huge breakdown last night, cause I was so convinced that some friends I deeply love find me annoying, and I still have that feeling. It's literally unbearable
Camilla, same here my friend. Head up
ahhhh 💩, here we go again
yeah :(
Happened to me when my friends stopped talking to me
Oh boy, i same situation amd same feeling.
RSD is my biggest struggle other than time blindness. imagine how I felt today when I saw a tweet from someone I admire, saying ADHD is 'overdiagnosed' and therefore not real. the irony that I felt RSD over that is not lost on me.
I am done being told I'm making it up. I've been coping with this for almost 40 years. it is not in my head. I have broken down crying in a recording booth because a new voice director used a mocking tone of voice with me for no reason. I've been getting called 'too sensitive' my entire life and there is little that will make a person feel more lonely than being gaslit by the entire world that you're just making it up for attention.
nobody wants to be 'the girl who cries at the drop of a hat'. it ain't cute, it ain't fun, it doesn't endear people to you. yet here I am. I'm realizing I've been in isolation for so long because I can't stand feeling RSD.. it hurts me on an almost physical level. people *genuinely like me* and yet I can't be around them for fear I'll feel my gut drop and reel from emotional pain over the slightest little comment. genuinely struggling to find a psych my insurance will cover who will help me through with some CBT.
What is Time Blindness? If it is completely losing track of time and thinking you still have 15 minutes, but 12 have already gone by , I might have that.
I was gaslit by a toxic online community that made things up which lead to my account getting banned in which I asked the GM (game master) for logs, they ignored me and forums banned me, really disgusting tbh.
@@theresarezac7502 yes, thats exactly what it is.
I feel you! this is so relatable. Be gentle to yourself!
That is so sad..
The first time I read about RSD, it was like sunlight bursting through dark clouds and a big light bulb going on over my head. You're right, identifying it helps, but it doesn't make the feelings go away. I usually do my best to create space to not engage, to cool down and look at the situation and see if maybe it's not as bad as it initially felt. But before knowing as much about emotional dysregulation and RSD, I did a lot of damage to relationships by lashing out or completely shutting down over perceived rejection. One of my least favorite aspects of ADHD.
Agree. It doesn't lessen the pain whenever my usually well surpressed inner hurricane rears its ugly head, but I've gotten remarkably better at dealing with the aftermath. I can get myself back under control alot quicker - or, when I'm in a setting where I feel safe, I can let loose for a bit and just sob my soul out, and it feels like a mountain has been lifted off my chest. I can be so much kinder to myself and don't hate myself as much afterwards. Before, such a moment could've sent me spiraling into a full on nervous breakdown and possibly put me out of commission for weeks.
I just learned it trougth this video, and it felt exactelly like that!!!
I suffered severe anxiety and mental disorder years ago. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Spent my whole life fighting ADHD. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES sure of Dr.benfungi. Did straight shrooms in few days. Left me like a blank slate after words, no more addictions, pains, ptsd and depression. Shit saved my life, all thanks to Dr.benfungi
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
For me this manifests as avoidance. I can be very shy when I don’t know how somebody else will respond, and this makes it difficult to form deep bonds with people, or make work related connections.
🌸 sometimes I WISH I could be able to keep my mouth shut. I don’t mean you’re lucky or anything, I know it’s hurting you very much in its own way 🥺
I’m just saying I am the walking example of “open your mouth and remove all doubt” because before that I may have thought or felt that they didn’t like me or disapproved of me, then I open my stupid mouth, and I make sure that that’s true
Bingo! Yes I am different with people I grew up with who I feel safe around versus strangers or people who have hurt me in the past
RSD mixing with depression and anxiety is one of the most brutal things in my experience. The tiny set off from RSD, propelled by the anxious overthinking, and then thrown into the deep end of depression and su1c1dial ideation. The worst part is when you realize it genuinely was something that everyone forgot about, yet you're mulling it over and over again, even into the next week, even month. I had an episode of it yesterday and I'm still reeling. Thinking about what happened makes my heart race, I feel cold all over, and I genuinely get nauseous. I really hope other people don't have to deal with it as intensely as I do, but if anyone reading this can relate, please remember that you're not alone.
I’m suffering so deeply from this and it feels like I won’t make it.
I don't understand why you have so little amount of subs. You definitely explain everything very well, even better than some other really popular adhd youtubers! Keep it up, please!
Thanks so much!
@@adhdjesse I definitely subscribed. Thank you for explaining everything so well! I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult in my 20s, and I am now in my 40s. There is so little actual good advice or understanding for those with ADHD.
I am so incredibly happy that I've found out about RSD - I have gone through my entire life trying to please everyone, even if these are people I don't even like (I was diagnosed with ADHD this year at age 43)! Whenever I have my friends over, the moment they leave I am worrying about things I might have said or done that they didn't like 🙁
Sometimes I notice my hurt reaction and feel childish or emotional, I'm in my forties too and it bothers me that this stuff bothers me.
That's why I love these videos and comments like yours, they remind me it's just a brain thing, a good night's sleep and a fresh perspective helps us move onwards.
This is magnified if real emotional neglect was experienced in childhood. The internalising of pain leads to burnouts and even lower self esteem.
So much fun when you have ADHD and BPD. I remember bawling my eyes out at work over some mild criticism and a confused co worker saying "this is not a normal reaction you're having". Que a fresh wave or RSD!
I was diagnosed with BPD just on its own, and the RSD and abandonment fears are a nightmare to battle. Having ADHD on top of that seems incredibly challenging, i hope you’re managing okay.
I recently was diagnosed with ADHD, and because our phones listen to us the term RSD has appeared in my recommended anything. Let me tell you that RSD is the story of my life. I went to be evaluated because I realized this past year, when my room mates got a kitten, I was deeply offended and hurt that the kitten seemed to like me less out of the 3 of us. She still lets me pet her, and is friendly towards me. I had a similar issue with a dog I raised years back too. And I have had other events in my life that have felt like someone stabbed me in my heart because of being rejected/betrayed. And if someone doesn't text me back within a normal time-frame for them, I am having full blown anxiety-depression fits. Learning about RSD is really opening my eyes to a lot of my behavior all my life.
Sometimes taking a step back to rethink things over is like giving you time to gaslight yourself. I always say, if I felt it, it was definitely real. It’s a superpower that we have. We’re able to pick up on negative vibes directed as us.
Yes. Your so right. How can we use this superpower for our advantage tho? I struggle with this...
man, i'm experiencing this right now! i really hate having to choose groups because I often ask a bunch of people if they're in a group already, and they normally are; i tend to get left out and then have to find the people who also have been ignored/rejected from groups. it's really frustrated to feel on the outside so frequently. i know that people aren't trying to intentionally not invite me to their group, but it feels like a betrayal for as hard as i work to try and build relationships with others and communicate that i'd like to work with them.
One thing that helped me, is to try and avoid to take it personally, It can be difficult but once it clicks, it helps immensely. Because the knee-jerk reaction, is always to take it personally
I have been diagnosed with BPD because of this feeling, I never felt like that diagnosis fit. I really feel like most of my symptoms of my diagnosis, depression, anxiety and bpd could come down to ADHD
Or autism.
I have also been diagnosed with BPD. That, and bipolar disorder in the past. I'm glad I'm finding new things that are helping me understand my brain better.
I thought I had BPD as so many of.the symptoms of it match up with my experiences. But I do have a lot of ADHD symptoms too. I think it is the ADHD.
I was also diagnosed with BPD, but it's actually ASD, I didn't get an adhd diagnosis because u forgot to send in my school reports 😭 but I do feel like I have adhd too. Not sure if the RSD is down to the undiagnosed ADHD or just Autism? I'm not sure if you can get it if you have autism
CBT must be banned, it is producing misdiagnosis.
Thi video is amazing. It's like talking to a friend.
This is such a big problem in my marriage because I take everything to my heart that my husband says. Sometimes it hurts so deeply and he is just standing there like... unable to understand how I can get upset from such small things.
Also let's just appreciate that emerald green eye color!!!
I was having a bad day and going over the sadness i seem to carry with me all my life and then this video was on my homepage. I didn't even know there was a term for it. I've been thinking my emotional reactions to such situtions were a sign of codependancy but this explanation fit how I've been feeling all my life 100%. Thank you for sharing the knowledge in such a simple way. Your productivity for ppl with adhd video has also given me a better understanding on how my brain works.
I always burst out in tears and rage after feedback and rejection. I never realized that it could be RSD.
The amount of jobs I've just thrown the towel in on because of this behaviour is quite astronomical and lead me to become a freelancer / contractor. I really enjoy the way you talk about ADHD, very relatable and great work!
I bet we have the best resumes
Have you ever considered doing a podcast about ADHD? I really think it would do well. I first heard your video on Toxic Productivity and a lot of that really resonated with me and I felt like someone truly gets it. Keep up the great work.
Thanks so much! I actually do have a podcast called ADHD Nerds at adhdnerds.com
I can only say infinite thanks, I thought I was hypersensitive, but I never felt completely defined by that word, and now I understand everything, my whole life... it's ADHD.
i understand my whole life now too :(
Thank you for talking about this!!! It has been the most destructive part of ADHD for me. I’ve ended relationships and quit jobs because I’m convinced the people around me are just pretending to like me, but they really want to break up or fire me. And then I’m shocked when they’re shocked I’m leaving! Ugh!!!!!
Honestly I used to think I was just having an episode of being overly sensitive or emotional, but these experiences that you described definitely validate some of those feelings me and my friends with ADHD have. Thanks for the video 💙💙💙
Insane... it's exactly what i felt since i was a child and a teenager. I always remember that when i felt hurt by someone in my family that i really loved, i couldn't helped it and started to cry immediately, even if i wanted to contain my tears it was just impossible to do.
I've lost and abandoned so many relationships because of this. I found this video a couple weeks ago and my therapist and I have been talking about it.
I've already been working on how to use what I've learned to control my emotions and Dysphoria.
This is by far the most REAL and RELATABLE video I’ve watched on RSD, and I’ve watched a lot. So extremely helpful
People pleaser: check! Withdrawing: check! Def not overachieving in any way, though work-a-holic might count. Feels too good to go above and beyond. I think I try too hard, especially to overcome all my ADHD symptoms so when someone criticizes my efforts, it really hurts. Great advice though, I'm huge on giving myself space and time to respond. I've missed out on catching on when someone likes me and I'm single as a result now. I'm overly cautious about not misconstruing interactions as a result of that time and space which causes a lot of missed opportunities for me. I'm still trying to find a soft spot between delayed reaction to avoid over reacting and living in the moment. Very difficult to balance. Any advice?
I just found your channel last month, and man does this video hit home for me. RSD has absolutely wrecked my life in so many critical areas over the last 25 years. I first learned about it last month from the How to ADHD channel, and I ended up ugly crying for an hour. Naming this thing and knowing that it exists has been helping me part ways with decades of guilt and phantom failure pains. Thank you so much for sharing this Jesse.
Thank you to all of the people who took the time to describe how they feel when this happens to them. Now I know how real it is-that I’m not imagining any of these feelings. Know that it exists means we have a chance of figuring out to deal with it. ❤
Yup whenever i feel irritated or irrationally pissed at someone i immediately feel so guilty and ashamed of myself because obviously that person doesn't deserved that emotional response. Knowing there's a name for what i experience has been very helpful to come to terms with this
I bottle up, feeling absolutely awful and hurt. I then cry about it or get depressed once I'm back home alone. And I do all the mentioned things to avoid such confrontations. Pleasing, overachieving and withdrawal (((
It feels so freeing to finally understand what is happening to me.
same here
I'm super stressed, that explains why my RSD is so bad right now. I didn't know it effected it that much. Thank you.
This was never an issue that I addressed in myself until watching this and realizing it's a real thing. I tend to bottle it up and it makes me feel angry towards my closest friends and leads me down a negative spiral of thoughts. Thanks for this vid it helped me a lot
Hi! Alex (1 of 2 ADHD Creators) here to say thank you! Since I am learning about Neurodiversity, ADHD and all those implications, I am blown away by what it is to learn out there.
And:
How much I am able to understand myself better after 48 years of struggling with ADHD, Aspberger and Aphantasia.
Learning about Aphantasia was the first real eye-opener to me. Suddenly I understood that others perceive the world not like me. Connecting the dots in hindsight is still really helpful and healing.
Even more powerful is the ability to understand myself and others much better. Raising the quality of relationships and interactions on a whole new level.
Thanks for explaining so much!
I am going to dive deeper into RSD.
LOVE THIS. Something that helped me learn to practice was self compassion vs self pity even though I didn’t recognize it as pity. Labeling it as RSD will add to the self centering and compassion without taking it personal ♥️
As a 20 year old college student, my mental health is trash. Just got on adderall which has been life saving. Anyway, my fear of rejection was so bad. It was controlling my brain from functioning. I thought I was crazy. When my therapist brought up RSD, I literally cried, cried like a baby. Knowing I actually have something, knowing I’m not crazy changed my life!
Wow!! Thank you… I’ve studied psychology for many decades now and I’ve never heard of this. I can identify with this 100%.!!!!
I bursted into tears with this vid. Thank you so much.
I found your through twitter, and for most of this year have been subbed to your mailing list, and I'm glad to have found you on YT again months later. Thank you so much for all of your content, it means the world to see so much support from someone who gets it when ADHD might be the single worst thing about my life.
Knowing about RSD is so helpful! I’ve always felt so alone on this, and you talking about this makes me feel very seen. I experience this a lot with my BPD, as well.
Man, you really explain all those adhd bits SO well, thank you!
This is a new aspect i've recently learned of. I applied it to all the past situations where it seemed like I was reacting irrationally to what I perceived as criticism. (Whoa, you just said those exact words as I was typing them) and I realized this is what was going on. I just thought other people could control it better than me and I was weak. What a crazy relief it is to know. 😪
I never thought I had ADD/ADHD... not even a little bit... but semi-recently my counselor mentioned she believed I had it... and... now... This is the second of your videos I've watched... and the first quarter of BOTH videos of you telling about your youth growing up, or how you handle situations... It was like you were telling my own story and it freaks me out.
for me the guilt for my reaction and feelings some time after the burst of RSD is worst, it's like emotional seesaw. first it's me feeling myself betrayead and abused, but later it's me feeling that it was only me who was abusing and that I overreacted about nothing...
This is explained much better than before thanks.
I just found your channel, and it is some of the most down to earth and realistic advice I have found. I really appreciate it.
This is the struggle of my life- it’s painful in a way I can’t express.
Jesse, your channel is such a healing gift. Thank you so much!
I'm so glad I found your channel. You put so much into these struggles that people with ADHD deal with. This one is something I suffer with constantly, so it's nice to have a way to work with it and know what it is. Thank you for this.
I just learned about rsd. I have fairly severe cptsd... But, looking back, rsd has been the worst part of it. It's probably not for everyone, but it is astounding how much a prescription I just started is helping take away the feeling of doom, the difficulty breathing, the downward spiraling loops of negative thoughts... Guanfacine, a blood pressure med that also reduces adrenaline, among other things. Worth looking into. Day 2 and I feel reborn. 🙌
Second video I am watching of you. This makes me nearly crying. I love your positive energy, gives me so much hope!❤
you described it so well, good job
I've felt this my entire life and only today have I got a word for it and strategy to fix it. Thanks for your help it really is great to finally get answers after 26 years of this :)
I feel like I'm opening my eyes to something that is going to help me so much in the future. I've had so many situations in which how I react is basically unbelievable to me, especially with anger that comes from frustration. Thank you so much.
THANK YOU! This has been on the tip of my tongue for most of my life. Knowing it has a name and is experienced by others just lifted a bunch of weight off my shoulders.
THANK YOU.. i have struggled with this for years and years.. now knowing it has a name really helps me.
I used to describe the feeling as I have a glass shield and the minute it's broken through rejection feels as if I'm being assaulted and I shut down instantly and I go into a personal safety bubble almost instantaneously. It's a big reason why I am scared to fail or go for what I really want.
Just came across your videos in a time in my life where I really needed to see these. Thank you for taking the time to make thoughtful content for our neurodivergent community.
Thanks man, I’ve been looking for this term for so long. I found it once months ago. Lost it, and couldn’t find the right words to search. I really enjoy your videos and I am grateful for you. Hope you’re doing super well.
Thank you for these videos, to everyone in this community. This aligns a lot with my childhood, specially the bottling up emotions; but what I was mostly sensitive to was to feel the disappointment from others. It feels like my world is crumbling around me. I never spoke about what I felt, never got angry, or defended my feelings, even if the malicious intent was more real than not. The thing is, I became a chronically people pleaser, and even more, I distanced myself from everyone. I remember thinking as a child and teenager 'nobody truly likes me, they're just pretending'. And when it became real, I was devastated. It's been a while, but I believe I'm healing. But in this; until today I still hide myself from everyone as much as I can, sometimes because they bother me, sometimes because I truly don't want that feeling of being a disappointment to the people I care about. And distancing myself from them often disappoint them, so it's recursive. I tend to grab one person and maintain contact with them daily or hourly, at most two people.
While I can't say for certain that I posses ADHD, as my psychiatrist says that I'm more leaning to a more than decade chronic, treatment-resistant depression (and all the anxiety and low dopamine it comes with), I am virtually in the same place. But it's just the opinion of someone around here. If this happens to resonate with someone, I hope this makes you less alone, truly.
I’m 47, diagnosed at 46. Only now am I starting to understand myself through videos like this, thank you ❤
what i love about the video made by adhders and for adhders the most - we know the best how to make it and how to talk so all of the adhders watching this and listening to us do not lose attention. thanks for the video! glad to have all things rsd well explained in one short video 🥰
my god.. I thought no one felt like this other than me. I've never seen anyone notice or express this feeling and hearing about it from you is so calming. I don't know why but I don't even like typing this because it feels like I'm being a sensitive average sad guy on the internet and yeah. I can't type more but thank you.
You're back!!! Jesse, your Toxic Productivity video has been the most helpful video I've seen since my diagnosis back in March. So glad to see this in my feed today.
Thank you so much man. I knew a lot about rsd before finding this but I appreciate finding a video so clear about the problem and is easy to relate with
I've done this my whole life. I've never heard it like this but that's exactly what it feels like. I 0lan on using this in my next session. Thank you for helping!
thank you jesse, every effect that you spokes really resonates with me in my daily life, and in that situation i think thats was the best thing to do but after watch this video, i know that RSD was really messed up my life a lot and is still struggling with it, but each of you video makes me realize im not alone feeling that way, especially with ADHD and now im I'm trying to find the right treatment which might be quite difficult because the topic of ADHD in adults is still something that is rarely discussed in my country.
Omg you explained verbally what i couldn't😢im a 36 male diagnosed with ADHD at 7 I'm so grateful and thankful because I can now actually show people exactly, how I felt my whole life including now, I never could explain it in words😢😢 I truly thank you🙏🙏🙏 from the bottom of my heart you do not know how blessed I feel for watching your video I was just scrolling through TH-cam I am not subscribed but I am now just because that is the least I can do and I will show everybody that I know I can show them your video and say that's exactly how it is with me and my temperament and ADHD and just yeah thank you so much 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I've been binge watching your videos since my husband was diagnosed. Thanks for all the info explained so well.
- Kate
Thank you 🙏🙏🙏 greetings from switzerland from a soul that needed to hear that. Thanks for your work
The way I understand soooooo much about my self with learning about this. (I’ve been crying the past 30 minutes)
This is my first time hearing about this and HOLY SHIT IT EXPLAINS SO MUCH. Like I've literally lost relationships over this kind of thing. I really wish I knew this sooner.
This video is really helpful, I very very recently got a diagnosis and my doc said he thought RSD would be a big aspect for me, and so much of this rings true, especially turning into a people pleaser and overachiever.
I suddenly got very emotional at the strategy to remember the past relationship with the person, this weirdly had never occurred to me and will be such a helpful tool going forward. I wish I'd known this sooner, that's where the emotion came from I think.
Anyway! Thanks for the great insight, you've got yourself a new subscriber 😊
This was fantastic! Thank you so much for weaving in your anecdotal stories and your willingness to expose yourself for our benefit. I had NO IDEA that I had ADHD until recently, and that is after helping my child with his for a few years. For my entire life, I've said that I feel things more intensely than other people. I listened to a podcast with Dobson about RSD last week and it was eye-opening. Your presentation was even better because this is also HEART opening. I mostly hid my tears and wondered why I cry over the dumbest little comments on social, or get devastated when not getting hired for a job -- things that I logically know are ordinary life incidents. Love your tips. I think those will help me. God bless you.
Thank you for making this video. I had no idea that RSD existed, but it explains a lot in my life that I didn't understand before. Knowing this will help me better understand the reaction I have to certain things that happen both in my personal and professional life. I believe that being aware of this will help me slow down my reactions and avoid explosive responses, enabling me to think more clearly before taking action.
Thank you for putting this in such plain words
This video just explained what's gone wrong in my life for the past 6 months. Thank you
Even for my whole life actually but yeah. Great video
A variation of the silent reaction: you are aware that your reaction does not match the feelings you are feeling, and that it doesn’t match up with past evidence, based on what your conscious rational mind knows. You feel shame for feeling them, and none of the negativity you are feeling is actually focused on them, but rather yourself for even feeling that way. For having had expectations that did not match the situation. You retreat and people see it as you having been offended, when the only offense you took was with yourself.
This makes me cry knowing that I'm not alone in this, I feel this every single day.
Thank you so much. Now I understand myself more.
I'm the one choosing withdraw completely as I found it more peaceful and happy.
The withdrawal part resonates so much with me. I used to think I just wanted to "make moves in silence" but I realised I just never told anyone what I was doing so I can't be criticised if I don't achieve it
For those with ADHD, the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" doesn't really apply. Instead, it often leads to the development of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Love your work man! Very clear and relatable 🤙
So what do you do when you really are rejected or betrayed--a business partner steals from you, a friend says they never want to see you again, a relative won't accept who you are? I'm sure these things hurt everyone, but I feel the pain deeply for somewhere between 20 years and forever, and I don't think that's typical.
Best Video on RSD, I was looking for a good video to explain it to my wife. Finally, the search is over. This video is perfect!
I get this way a lot and I’ve noticed through my life. I wish I could make it go away and just think and feel more clearly. Thank you for this information.
Thank you for making this. Kind of started sobbing a couple minutes in, this just means so much to me. I've been trying to figure out for a bit why I have such extream reactions to things, trying to figure out if it was just something with me or some neurodivergancy.
I'm actually really far on the crying end of the spectrum when it comes to reactions. I'm not a very angry person (a fact that makes it difficult to relate to any kind of emotional disregulation, as they're often described with the anger example. The sadness/tears reaction is mentioned occasionally with this kind of thing, but rarely enough that I find myself doubting my self-diagnoise a lot)
This makes me feel a lot better about my reactions, knowing that it's not my fault. I felt so pathetic whenever it happens.
This also explains why I reacted to rejection like I had deep-rooted emotional trauma at eight years old.
Fear of rejection and people-pleasing is something I can relate to a lot
Very helpful video. Thank you!
such a relief hearing this discription. All my child and teenagehood i was told by ma family: look at you! your're psycho, go and treat your nerves! Everybody except you behave, you're the only one wierd. And I still (40yo)hear it sometimes from my mom. I've been a year with my adhd (it's still not an adult diagnose here) and a year on a path from I'm flawed to I'm ok, there are planty of us, being burned inside when questioned. Thank you!
I've gotten to the point where I accept this TO the point, I no longer bother with relationships. I say, "I don't want anyone to suffer ME anymore!" As hard and potentially self harming such a perspective could potentially create within, it hasn't! I find myself growing actually stronger by accepting that "this" is a necessary sacrifice to protect others from my issues. In doing this, I grow with myself I find and it gets easier as I carry on on my own, alone. I have alot of work to do on myself and who knows, maybe one day a relationship can be possible but if not, that's OK too❤👍
OMG yes!!! Thank you for giving this a name.
Thanks, Jesse - this resonated deeply with me. I know many people don't like labels but to give a name to this helps me rationalise my behaviour, even if I take time to calm down first. I'd like to think it might help loved ones have some grip on why I am the way I am, too.
you speak to my soul jesse :( in a way i always felt was possible but couldnt intellectualize or never came across from therapy or resources. i just thought i was crazy and broken. :( thank you so much ✨
Instant subscription btw, great work, very informative and enlightening. ❤👍
This just happened to me at work. We never talk politics but I said something that someone didn't agree with and the look on her face towards me crushed me. I then tried to say things to make sure she still liked me and as soon as she said something nice I felt much better. Crazy emotion.....it was killing me inside.