Should You Join Finances With Your Partner?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
- It seems like for all of time, the standard was to combine finances with your partner. But is that really necessary anymore? Actually... absolutely not. Learn how you and your partner can be completely financially unified regardless of who banks where, if you share every dollar, or split every expense right down the middle. Decide which of these three (actually, four!) approaches fit you and your partner best, and budget with perfect union!
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TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 Intro
0:18 Do We Need to Combine Finances?!
1:16 How YNAB Together Can Help
1:59 Method #1: All Accounts are Shared Accounts
4:30 Method #2: All Accounts are Separate Accounts
7:26 Method #3: Separate Accounts + Joint Account
9:21 Method #3B: Separate Accounts + Shared Budget
11:32 Questions to Ask As a Couple
12:46 Outro
13:38 Bloopers
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Once my wife and I got married we joined our finances and budget together and we don’t argue about money like we used to. When we were engaged/dating and had separate accounts we would often have money fights about “who’s turn it is to buy this?” or “where’s the money for this bill?” Joining our finances has improved our communication with money significantly and it truly makes us feel like we are one.
We're old school (28 yrs and counting) so our money has always been combined. I know a lot of people do keep things separate, just remember, if you live in a community property state everything is split right down the middle in case of divorce anyway. So, at the very least, make sure you know what's going on with each other's finances regardless of shared or separate.
We each have a fun money category *and* we have a "stuff that makes the household better but isn't a regular savings target kind of thing" category that we can spend $25 from without checking with each other, and anything over we talk it through. Sometimes you want to buy something to make the house run better (closet organizers. Better trash can in bathroom. etc.). Being able to buy things that make your life a lil better in the house without having to justify it has been so nice, and it not taking away your "fun" is pretty nice too.
All I can say is that I hope your category is actually titled "stuff that makes the household better but isn't a regular savings target kind of thing" because that would make my day 😂
🌻 Hannah
My sister and I bought a condo together last year and did #3, keeping our separate accounts and opening a joint account at a credit union around the corner. It's worked really well for us and has simplified so much of our spending.
My husband and I kept our money separate for the first three years of marriage. We decided to combine and it was the best financial decision for us. Things got much easier and better for us after that!
My husband and I just got married and we used YNAB to pay for our entire wedding ourselves! We used a joint bank account and I added the wedding budget as a category group in my personal budget. Now that we're married, we decided to separate our bank accounts and budgets with shared expenses like rent (method 2). I love budgeting but my husband not so much so this works for us!
My partner and I use the combined and separate approach. It’s encouraged a lot of money conversations since then. Both on our combined and individual money goals
Married 45 years and my husband and I have most of our finances separate. We have one checking account together for household living expenses. We jointly bought property. But savings, credit card, some assets, all liabilities are separate. Worked for us and there’s no reason to change now.
My fiancé and I have separate accounts and I’ve been using YNAB for two months now and I’m trying to have her use it too. One step out a time.
My wife and I combined finances when we first got married and while I was a little wary of it at first, it has made budgeting and communication a lot easier. There’s one combined savings and checking account and that’s all we have for monthly budgeting.
I've also felt like combining all our finances cleared up SO much money communication! Everything is visible to both of us at all times, so it really encourages us to make all our decisions TOGETHER and see how that naturally affects everything else in the budget.
🌻 Hannah
This is when single rules. 🙌🏽
You’re glowing in this video, Hannah!
Well, YOURS is officially my favorite comment of the day 🥰✨
🌻 Hannah
Great tips, thanks Hanna! In my case I'm still trying to bring my partner to understand and enjoy the YNAB approach! 🙏
We use Option 1. It’s critical that each party has their fun money where you don’t need to consult.
My partner and I have been using YNAB since Feb and we share everything and allocate fun money each month. We have been able to save over $17000 since Feb just by seeing where our money goes and pulling it in. I love YNAB
🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
...
WHAT?!
There's just no freaking way. That's AMAZING. Imagine what you could do in a YEAR of YNAB! Five! Twenty!! That's nutso. Way to go!!
🌻 Hannah
We combine everything because it works for us. I’ve had friends who keep things separate but each is expected to share expenses 50-50. Only they don’t earn the same as their partners which means that the partner ends up having a whole lot more money for their extras. If you keep things separate, remember to keep the expectations about shared expenses contributions proportional to income.
Most definitely it should be proportional in contributions.
I agree! Though it can definitely be a tricky conversation to navigate. Above all, it's just important we be kind and considerate of the others circumstances as well as what kind of lifestyle you want to live together!
🌻 Hannah
We were both adding the same amount each month at the beginning of the month,$1,000 each, for a total $2,000 that covers household items: groceries, utilities, children’s needs, we have 3. We are blessed to have no mortgage or debt but my salary was just reduced and I am still putting in the same, we’ve talked about only contributing $650 or $700 rather than the original amount
I would love to see a video about budgeting together when feelings get in the way. Finances bring up big feelings! Some couples want to share expenses and make greatly different sums of money. I would love YNAB’s take on how to language the equal value partners bring to their relationship, and therefore their budget. How to minimize resentment and insecurity and help both partners remember their intrinsic value when looking at numbers and figures that culture says potentially determine their worth. How to help both partners feel empowered in financial goal setting. Not every person in every couple knows how to know what they want and claim it. Lots of emotional stuff gets in the way. Who gets to decide what the financial priorities are when one partner makes a lot more money? What does equality look like in an unequal dynamic? YNAB does a great job of helping people see that their choices are NEUTRAL and unique, not good or bad. I’d love some skill building around this in the context of a relationship! Thanks!
Yes, me too!
Great vid! I’ve been thinking about this for a while… Hannah’s timing is incredible!
Consider your mind read. 🔮🪄🧠
🌻 Hannah
I’m in the 3rd group and I’d LOVE if YNAB, the mobile app, let me switch budgets MUCH quickly back and forth. ❤
When I saw the video title I thought , of course you join your accounts! But then remembered that we still have our own accounts and a shared one in the budget. Has been Like this forever, definately feels like one in our minds.😂
Awesome info!! 😊😊
The part about rent in Method #2, separate finances is also helpful for people with roommates! That's how I manage it since I'm the one who sends the check each month.
My partner and I did 3B! It works really well and we always talk about what we need vs want and keep each other accountable hehe.
Combining accounts was the best decision we ever made!
Good gosh 🎉🎉🎉 I am celebrating never having separate budgets or not being ok with mutual funds for the last 46 years with various degrees of employment and wealth ( or dirt poorness) who knew this is dizzing! Options options ! Glenda
We go for a variation of #1. I have a separate account from my husband just because I'm too lazy to go to the bank and close it. So, whenever my paycheck arrives, I transfer almost all of it to his account, which now acts as OUR account. Mine only keeps some subscriptions and stuff I haven't had the patience to transfer to his. Our YNAB is joint like in #1 and everything is accounted for. we started with the normal #1, each person has a bank account but they budget together and since then we moved on to the all in, and it's much better for us! All because of YNAB and Hannah! 🥰
Surprised... but this was an excellent video, thank you!
Woo hoo! Glad it could be of help!
🌻 Hannah
This was so great! I’m a 2024 bride and me and my fiancé are trying to figure out everything
We do mostly 3a, but have been slowly combining as we go. When we were first living together we did 2, and I paid him because I sold my house and moved in with him. When we got married we switched to 3a and we still do today, but much more combined than we did previously. The next thing to come into joint will be when we get new cars next. Our cars are approximately the same age so we think that will be the next thing that will get folded into our joint budget.
The other difference is that he is not a ynab user. He built his own system years ago, so he still uses that. I use ynab and our joint budget is also in ynab.
I like that it has allowed us to be purposeful in our merging, especially as I came in with a lot of debt (gone now!) and he didn't.
I do the same with my partner! I agree that I love the flexibility to slowly dial up what is considered merged. I also like that since we each have our own personal budgets, it's easier to have the level of granularity I want with my categories and category groups for my personal spending, vs lumping those all under one category or group.
My partner and I joined our budgets to method #1 when we moved in together. It’s sooo much easier and we never fight about money. And I’ve never been in a relationship before where money is so transparent! Life. Changing. My only regret is that it makes it harder to surprise or treat each other, but the lack of stress about “who’s paying for dinner” makes it worth it!
Oh, I love to hear that! It does add so much simplicity and transparency to the equation, which to me is just so worth it. And yes, around birthday and no Christmas time Mac and I are always saying things like "don't import my bank notifications today!" or changing the payee on our transactions to "SURPRISE" so they can't figure out what it is 🙃
🌻 Hannah
@@YNABofficial amazing, we’ll have to try that this year!
That international accounts example is awkward, given how YNAB is only really set up to think in one currency at a time.
Whoops, I'll see myself out 🙈
🌻 Hannah
I decided that if I was going to share a home, kids, germs and my entire life with my husband I was definitely going to share money.
I feel the same! What's mine is yours!
🌻 Hannah
We've combined everything. Life goals are mutual which just means we prioritize when we get to a project or goal.
Love that! Way to go!
🌻 Hannah
We’ve kept ours completely separate for over 20 years now and it’s never been an issue. Never understood the benefit of combining finances
That would work great if you’re of similar mindset. If that person is a spendthrift and looks to me to catch them up, I would get annoyed. Then I need them to send me money that I will hold for them. In my case, it’s my child that I am trying to teach budgeting. She runs thru her money and then comes for mine. Umm, nope.
You don’t know what you’re missing. ❤
The variation we use doesn’t quite fit any of the models where - most of our finances (90% or so) are in combined accounts, and have been since we married - but we have a personal account each with seperate cards just for those accounts, and we transfer an agree portion of each pay cheque into those accounts.
The rule is both wife and I get equal say on any shared spending, but the personal accounts are personal and are spent on anything that person wants, and we agreed that we won’t comment negatively on anything that each other do with that spending.
19 years of marriage without a single serious fight about finances and I think the model helps that.
Hannah, could you make a video on how you and Mac work your "Fun Money" categories? I mean, as you spend it, do you move your fun money to the appropriate category, such as "plants" or "clothing," or do you categorize all your plant-related and clothing purchases as "Han's Fun Money?" If the latter, then I guess you can't run a report to see how much you spent on plants or clothing, which I think would be useful.
This might be a good idea!! I love that! Because yes, we do kinda have our own little system that I haven't seen explicitly called out in the wild. Great suggestion, I'll add it to my ideas list!
🌻 Hannah
shout out to Saskatchewan, Nebraska lol
I'm stuck. We've been using method 1, but we do have our shared checkign and our personal accounts. It's confusing because we have savings categories but might be budgeting each other's money to our own savings goals. We need to move to method 3b, but I need way more help about how to make sure money in my account gets budgeted to my personal expenses/savings, and the money in the joint account only to our joint expenses savings.
Married 25 years. We joined our finances but I manage it/ YNAB it alone. She's not even interested.
We currently have option 2, how do you sugguest we move to option 3b? Do we recreate a new budget or transform one of our current invidual bugets to form 3b?
Good video but a potential concern about privacy...according to YNAB Together: A Guide, all budgets are shared with the group manager so in any case where finances aren't completely shared one person can see the other's spending unless they each pay for their own accounts. Makes it tricky for all parties to have 'guilt-free fun money' using methods 2 and 3.
My husband has full access to everything. We have 1 joint checking account. He does like to deal with that, so I do everything, including checking if he got paid the right amount, lol
I don't think he knows which bill is paid or not. 😅
You can't have "savings in Sweden" because YNAB doesn't sync most Swedish banks. We tried
Feels like there's a missing Option 0 where the bank account itself is shared - the option 1 shown here has a common YNAB budget but there's still separate physical accounts underneath - which means you kinda need to monitor those accounts to keep them above zero. Seems a needless faff and it still retains 'legal separation' of the cash which feels a bit non-trusty! For married folk I really don't see why you wouldn't have a joint account given that legally, your partner has a full claim on your assets anyway. And on a purely human front, as others have said, my vows to my wife made it very clear that 'all that I have, I share with you'. Our salaries are not equal but I wouldn't dream of 'proportioning' the amount of fun money she had - our salaries simply feed into a completely shared pot with every pound jointly owned, regardless of who earned it. The shared responsibility is simply in making sure our commitments are met and that's what YNAB helps us do very well.
I agree. I don't know why someone would create extra work for themself by keeping separate bank accounts, when legally the money all belongs to both of them in most states. I could see where #1 would be helpful while engaged to make sure all the cards are on the table or start saving for joint goals before the wedding day!
My tip. Make a test budget, test out some of these techniques with fake accounts and see how it feels for you.
Ooh, I love that!! Thanks for sharing!!
🌻 Hannah
I can't find the YNAB together anywhere from the webpage. the link doesn't tell me how to actually set it up so we can share it with our family members.
Hi Jay! If you log into your YNAB account on the webpage, just click your budget name/email in the upper left corner, and select "YNAB Together" from the "Account" section of the menu. From here you can invite up to five loved ones to join your subscription with you!
🌻 Hannah
Suomi mainittu!
Method #1 basically means you are password-sharing a single YNAB account?
You don't have to share a YNAB account. You can use YNAB Together to invite multiple user to one YNAB account where you can share budgets. Here's some details on that!
support.ynab.com/en_us/ynab-together-B1nS78Cki
Oh my word. Why would there be any area of my marriage where I would not want to be transparent? If we can’t share our finances and budget, what else In our personal lives, past or future, can we not share ??!!
I agree, sharing everything in marriage is the way to go! But remember, this video is made for ALL partners. While I've loved sharing all our money mutually in our marriage, not everyone is married to their partner and may have different priorities as far as freedom and flexibility go. It's good to know there's a method out there that can suit any scenario!
🌻 Hannah
You should absolutely join bank accounts with your spouse once married. If you can trust them enough to marry them, you can trust them enough to share finances.
Hey Brandon! While my husband and I follow that same mentality, remember that this video is made for ALL partners-not just married couples! These different scenarios can be more or less appealing to different couples in different scenarios, so it's good to share them all!
🌻 Hannah