God sounds like a fan fiction writer. "Gosh guys, stop being so nitpicky! This is how the story goes, ok, I'm just having some fun!" See the similarity?
Balomew it's a reference to the show "Supernatural" where supposedly the character Chuck is "God" in disguise as a human who so happens to be a fan fiction writer that predicts everything happening to the main characters in the book, lol.
Samson - truly one of the most despicable persons in the entire Bible. He has absolutely no redeeming qualities, and yet he is _still_ lauded as a hero by Christians, who unashamedly tell this story to kids. It's like they don't see anything wrong with it at all.
I was very saddened by this video. Besides all the ridiculous puns and catchphrases, none of this was actually exaggerated, and it sends a very powerful, a very serious message... and all deez tings.
The weird thing is that the book of Judges doesn't even sugar-coat anything. It just tells the story, 'this happened, then this happened then this happened'. Nothing to actually paint Samson as good, or his victims as evil. And yet, somehow Jews and Christians manage to see Samson as the good guy, because... well, because he's on their side, basically. It is actually quite sickening.
Two pillars, collapsing infrastructure, genocide via suicide...damn, the resemblance is uncanny! I just can't believe I didn't see it sooner. The only thing missing is Al Qaeda using Hulk Smash powers until their beards are shaved.
Come to think of it, Samson's face doesn't seem to have hair. Maybe he was allowed to shave facial hair, or maybe it was one of the few biological traits that made him a "girly man" (no offense, ladies), or maybe the bible didn't specify anything about Samson's facial hair in its text. Oh well, DarkMatter2525 can't be held accountable for an animation glitch, considering the blatant disregard for logistics everywhere in the bible.
The Hulk Smash powers are the planes ;), and the terrorists had their beards shaved at perpetration, because they wanted to cover up, that they were muslim fanatics. So not that far off :P
Don't be embarrassed or ashamed. We all were bamboozled by superstitions. It would be almost impossible not to believe story that your parents, or figures of authority, would tell you. Your parents grew up telling you everything especially Bible stories so they had to be true. Part of the problem which stands today is that people who grow up are afraid to examine whatever God they follow and whatever holy books they read. If they had the courage he could challenge their beliefs to see if they hold up to scrutiny. Therein lies the problem the lack of courage or the fear of challenging the thought of God not being real. Telling people that if they challenge. They will be punished by God. Therefore just believe what we tell you. Take it on faith. But faith cannot lead someone to truth. Isn't it better to know the truth? Would you put Faith into flying a plane if you've never flown one? Or crossing a road without looking? Orna doctor about to perform surgery on you who is never perform surgery before? There is no room for faith. There is room for Trust because of previous actions. An example is a plane that has been flown by a qualified and certified pilot who is done it several times before without incident. Or a doctor who has performed many surgeries without incident. Crossing the road at a traffic light without incident. This is trust in a demonstrable action, not faith.
I love the "offensive nipples" censor bar compared to the thin line censor bar highlighting the "nonoffensive nipples" on a man, clearly displaying the double standard. Religion: making you feel bad about having a healthy, sexual drive since the fucking Bronze Age.
+SkepticalFox Yea I can appreciate that joke, but the obvious sexualization of women in these videos is kind of suspect. Like, why do they all have big fake tits?
+oldedude51 stop whining, dude. I asked a simple question and I think the poster above answered pretty adequately. I don't need to hear about your anti-sjw bullshit.
?? I don't even know what you're talking about. I also don't care. Welcome to the internet, where everybody thinks you're dumb and nobody cares what you think. Good day, sir.
whats the point? look what Israel is doing to Gaza now. the point if any is slaughter of people different that you because they are different from you.
Supposedly it's a story telling Samson's devotion towards god, but the immorality of it is not justified by the genocides that took place with the time period.
Tell him either death is bad and if he still thinks that way , ask if its because isrealis are "jewish" and the palestinians are muslims and if he says yes , hes just plain ignorant !
They would all have been middle eastern or northern African---pretty dark-skinned. Really. (I mean, fine, but always depicted in the west as whites. Definitely not.)
If God is real, then why hasn't he struck down DarkMatter2525 for mocking him? Surely if God could flood the entire Earth for their sins, then he could easily get rid of this one person who constantly makes a mockery of him.
+AKA Trae God isn't really omnipotent. He's been gradually burning through his power over the years. Used up the last of it on Hitchens, as I recall. Now, he's stuck playing skee ball in New Jersey
+Elizabeth Popham The Free Will argument didn't exist before the Victorian age, of recent vintage. Until then all was considered preordained. And, the hell or godless eternity or second death concepts invalidate your entire comment Elizabeth.
@@seanjsellscars Beacuse when a fetus is developing, your a female. Then its up to the chromosomes which determines if you stay female or develop into a male.
@Sergei_kv82 do u know that men get prone to many diseases and brain deficiencies by the time they get affected in the womb? How is that a development?
Ex Jehovah's Witness, I see the stupidity of my contribution to an oppressive cult. Thank God I'm out of that. Your videos woke the hell out of me. Good job!
Anime Is Trash No, Christianity is a cult. All religions are a cult. All religions use extortion tactics to force you to believe. "Believe in God and our prophet or you're going to BURN IN HELL!!!!1!!1!11!!!" When the scare tactics fail, they then use violence and mob mentality to try to break you into joining. When that fails, they either kill you, or drive you away, and use their cult as a justification in doing so, and pretend like they've done nothing wrong, as if it were something required of them to do to get their ultimate reward.
A compelling ending, DarkMatter; the depth of your work here has increased exponentially over the past year or so, brilliantly engaging comedic parody/satire to illustrate the absurd, thoroughly inconsistent, blood-drenched and destructive institution of religion. *You*, sir, are a genius. Thank you.
+HyperSonicX For several reasons. Like god in this comic strip. 1) It's easier to not think than think for yourself. 2) We don't read the bible, we worship it, maybe even have sex with it. But reading is hard work. You don't want us doing that do you? 3) We go to church to have our prejudices reinforced by a lying preacher who probably takes drugs & has gay sex with a bought boy toy. 4) It makes us feel superior to all the inferior masses who believe the 30,000 different denominations of this cult. 5) We can't do math at all, so we just believe that all those other cults are actually our own. And that when we take over, it will be our little sect that does it. Then We WILL HAVE POWER!!! UNLIMITED POWER!!!!! Mwhahaha!!! Sadly, that's exactly the scenario you're looking at.
+Syd McDaniel A fool & his money are soon parted. Why shouldn't UT exploit them? If someone is bat shit crazy enough to beat themselves over the head, what you gonna do? Hold their hands for the rest of their lives?
Nahodakk Only some of them, most of them are just people living their lives. Just like in any other country. The only difference is that the bad ones are in control in the USA. The country only pretends to be democratic, the real power lies with the ones with the most money.
Nahodakk I wold LOVE see USA burn, but tabularasa0606 is right. Most of them only want to live their lives in peace. The justice matters are still annoying thought.
tabularasa0606 The issue at hand here has nothing to do with democracy or money or who rules the US. We're talking about people who hate the US, both domestic and foreign. Islamic extremists hate the US because most of our people do not strictly adhere to their Islamic religion (btw, they hate other countries too, just the US is the biggest fish to fry.) We have a lot of Americans who hate America, because they spend their lives getting bombarded with false or exaggerated propaganda about the "evils" of America, IE: the country is really run by evil rich corporations. And they simply lack a good enough BS detector see through that nonsense.
Quote _ You would LOVE to see the USA burn? Why? Its frustrating when people say things like this without giving any justification. Either they think that everyone else will just agree with them or they have no good justification. Or both.
I've noticed that this video is sparklingly religious Troll-free. So faithfully was the biblical nonsense reconstructed that I think even fundamentalists are too embarrassed to even try and defend it. They are vanquished in the sight of the Lord. Huzzah and well met, DarkMatter!
they don't have to, they simply can say "that was the old testament" and cherry pick as they always have or that it was "god's decision and he knows best"
@@Knux5577 GOD indeed created us and so HE knows what is bets for us just as an engineer Knows his MACHINE best And how ASININE. Is it that you believe the whole universe and every magnificent galaxy and planet just poofed into existence out of NOTHING ?
This is the thing I've always had a problem with even as a child. Why is it that after the third attempt, he didn't notice that she has been saying that philistines are coming, when there weren't any in the previous other attempts. Or ask her who she is afraid of looking foolish to? And moreover, why it's always the women who ruin the lives of men. Eve, Job's wife, Delilah, etc
It is actually unbelievable how one is fed with this story in childhood as some kind of hero story while actually is incredibly stupid, totally not logical and actually one big joke. Still one of the premium stories in children's bible books though! Great way of making this crystal clear to us with references to the bible stories.
My grandfather try to feed me with theses stupid story when i was a kid. Little did he know its actually thanks to him I didn't believe in that garbage story.
I feel like the bit about Saitama's hair falling off might have been an indirect reference to Samson's story. It's a long shot, but Japanese anime writers made weirder Biblical references before.
@@Ponera-Sama Yeah (Headache inducing 'Evangelion' anyone? ^_^) When I made that comment, I really hadn't thought about the whole Saitama is bald while Samson's whole shtick is his long hair thing ^_^
@@MrChupacabra555 The reason Evangelion has bible references was because the Creator thought they looked and sounded cool. Didn't even know what the words mean.
Vini Franchelli not true sir. LET'S JUST SAY THAT WE NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH BEHIND THIS SO CALLED FICTION. Most of the events does have geographical and archaeological facts behind them.YES any story told or written by man can as always have and will be distorted but as intellectual beings of the NEW ENLIGHTENMENT AGE we can do research and go even deeper the true origins of it all for humans though logical ( for the most part) should know there is no such thing as deja vu or imagination we only go by things we've seen or what others have seen and we have heard it. Ppl long to explain the un explainable. CONTINUE TO DIG
No, it runs deeper, Flat Earthers, Mormons, Scientologists, Illuminati, conspiratory theorists, the list of ridiculous beliefs is incredibly long. Humans are mind bogglingly stupid. Did you know Sir Isaac Newton actually believed Jesus had come to Earth to re-wind the gravity engine during the 30 or so years he was 'missing'? Even geniuses are idiots.
Keith Graham don't forget to delve deeper and find globetards, NASA fanboys, pseudo sci-fi fanatics and scientism cults!! It doesn't take a genius to know the earth is anything but a SPINNING BALL hurling in space!! Its not rocket science nor is it a "conspiracy theory" ..your fault is you simply can't accept that a lie on such a massive scale could ever be accomplished, despite realizing the world is in a shitty state because of all these liars enslaving us all! But ofc you believe you're free because that's the deception.. They don't even have to announce us as slaves when they can quietly work us as slaves.. I bet you're a real scumbag too at work, to strangers and in your personal life.. Don't try to justify yourself.. There's no humanity left inside the people these days.. Everyone is so divided and against each other.. No one wants to help each other.. And I'm not even talking about sharing your wealth or becoming some kinda robin hood.. I'm talking about simple acts of kindness which, people nowadays can't even seem to share a little of.. Be humble man
Well spotted!! ....... 1 Corinthians 11:14..........."Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him" But nature (sorry, God's perfect design) doesn't stop men's hair from growing long anyway so WTF??! I'm starting to think this Bible book thingy might not be entirely accurate.
@vj21oq 2 , first statement is God thinks long hair on a male is a disgrace, second statement is giving the source for this remark, cited from 1 Corinthians... That's Paul not God... Telling me he is the third most important person in the bible is not a counterargument, if that's what you are going for... Third most important? Who do you consider the first and second? Just curious...
that little monologue you made at the end was well worth the 40 plus minutes i spent watching the trilogy. thank you for the hard work and time to making this video. hopefully more people can see this in the future
Never thought it that way. Good comparison. Samson is just a very effective al-Qaida terrorist or in other ways, al-Qaida is Samson revamped. I remember reading Samsons story as a child in a childrens bible without any background story, history or explanation and actually thought, that he was a brave, but brute man fighting for justice, that is how the bible tells it. It's funny comparing that to al-Qaida with almost the exact same numbers and ideological story... Great work. Made me think. Bibles could be banned as terrorist propaganda as well...
I'd say that is how the Bible intends to tell it, but as this series shows, it fails quite miserably. Modern interpretations leave the bad stuff out, of course.
Nahodakk I could hook you up with an all-expense paid vacation to syria with a free t-shirt that says "Jewish" in several different languages right now! Just call me at 1-800-GoFuckYourSelf
Such perfect timing! I go to bible study every Sunday and we JUST finished Judges 15 and will be in 16 next week... You brought up some pretty good points that I may or may not bring up at church next week...
DON'T!!! Religious people DO NOT like to be contradicted or questioned when it comes to ANYTHING in the bible! You have to remember in their minds everything in the bible- I'm sorry most of them haven't even read the thing- everything from the mouth of their preacher is true. God can never be wrong! He is just! The moment you actually apply critical thought to sermons people think you are questioning God which is a HUGE taboo. You may think this a small trivial matter but believe me it is not.
Darkness7508 We all actually read the bible thoroughly, and in different translations too. We barely get through a single chapter an hour and dissect nearly every word. We've been in Judges for the past 5 months! ***** is correct when it comes to "God wanted it so"... and changing anyone's mind isn't going to happen there.
That was amazing.. I had not heard the story of Samson since I was a child, & I didn't realize how completely unintelligible the entire story was. It blows my mind that these types of tales are the basis of one of the worlds most dominant religions.
Most of the Old Testament are isrealite propaganda so that they, as a people free from Egypt could freely settle and empower themselves. Which they did.
I never bothered reading Samson before, and now this trilogy prompted me to go and do it and yeah, it's basically Samson punching himself in the face over and over again and then swearing revenge on the Philistines for it, what the hell
I laughed so hard when I saw all the people on the roof, that I was crying. I never once thought about the concept that 3,000 people were on the roof of a building and not in a theatre. I love your videos.
You left out the best parts. Delilah only agreed to betray Sampson if the Philistines promised not to stab, cut, or draw blood from Sampson. Sampson's eyes were burned shut with branding iron and he did not bleed. They didn't use a dagger to blind him because the Philistines kept their word with Delilah. After Sampson's capture the Philistines used him as a stud to make more super hulk men (kind of like eugenics crazed nazis). These unborn children would later become giants and turn against the Philistines. The 3000 people were not on the roof of the temple. They were crushed under the roof. There was a giant statue of Maulic on the roof that fell when Sampson pushed apart two pillars.
All what you've written is not in the text of the bible I own. Nothing about his eyes being burned vs. stabbed, nothing about being a stud while in prison, nothing about a statue of any god on the roof and in the text there are 3000 people on the roof. Where did you get your information from?
Nicely done as ALWAYS. Also.. the second i saw the Twin Towers, i thought to myself " 9/11... what does that have to do with it.. there was like 3 thou--Ohhhh. It's amazing how many times you can read a story and not see the glaring problems with it. You just keep getting better and better DarkMatter.
You know when you actually read the story its just as ridiculous as it looks in this video. Half of the stuff made little sense, women were portrayed as untrustworthy, and the Philistines got a bad rap. Yet the murdering psychopath beating the shit out of people with the jaw bone of a donkey is not considered wrong. Jeffrey was right, people were deliberately stupid just for the sake of storytelling.
Since you touched the subject of sexism in this video, maybe you could base your next one in regards of that matter, since most of christians don't appear to acknowledge that there IS plenty of sexism in the bible, same goes for the torah and quran. Sexism in the Bible. -1 Corinthians 11: 3, 7, 8 & 9 "But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is head of woman ... For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God. But woman is the glory of man Because man is not from woman, but woman from man, nor was man created for woman, but woman for the man. " Ephesians 5: 22 & 23 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, which is his body, and is himself its Savior." The latter may explain why women can not be priests. Women no right to speak -1 Corinthians 14: 34 & 35 "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home; it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. " -1 Timothy 2: 11-15 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. She shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. " This is in the New Testament.
The bible is hardly flattering to either men or women. Representing unsavory characters of either sex (which isn't strictly sexist). While positing sexist rules for both sexes.
Thermic Light There are some evil white characters in fiction back in the old days so what your point? "I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." now how is that in anyway dose not makes men more superior than women? face it your a male supremacist.
Yes, the bible needs feminism! I am not one myself but I would if we live how the bible told us to live. My mum is the same she's in denial about how bad the bible is. Like all Christians, they defend it even when it's wrong. It's crazy to me.
Thermic Light That is true. We could easily say that religions tends to endorse traditional gender roles, and stereotypes of both men and women. Being men the strong, muscular warriors, not very intelligent and easily manipulated. Being women the weak, sexual attractive, manipulative and deceiving. But I will like to add that this passages in the bible tend to address women in a negative light because of their gender. Sure we can see men like Samson in a negative way too, if we pay attention to the kind of actions he commits. But I don't know about any passage in the bible who address men as a gender in a bad manner. It might be a little tricky to do that because in many cases we will encounter parts were it is said bad things about men, but in my opinion, many of those cases tends to refer to humanity or mankind, rather that male gender. I could be wrong thought.
Seen a biblical epic movie "Samson and Delilah" as a child. They demonized the Philistenes pretty good so that when the ass jaw part came everyone was cheering.
The most probable is that that genocide never happened because the story was written way after since there were not Philistines in Palestine before the 12th centure BCE, also the jews share common DNA with canaanites, so maybe they just developed a different identity at some point and wrote those stories to create to themselves a mythological origin.
+Erik Kartman Hmmm.....which Hulk? Because either Samson (OP strong guy with apparently no weakness because reasons) or one of the many versions of Hulk.
+Benjamin Ortola That also depends on which Hercules as well. Kevin Sorbo's? No chance. Disney's? Would last a bit longer but end the same. Fate series? Potential contender, especially if he comes into the battle while on his way to the store to get batteries & brings his buddy Lancer, the best club a man can get.
"you can't make a pledge without comprehending it first" isn't it weird that we have been saying the pledge of allegiance to the United States since kindergarten?
how ??? what part of my comment implied that i think kindergarteners are babies ??? they are small children who don't understand what pledging allegiance really means, yes, but never did i say or imply kindergarteners are babies.
They told us America is the best country in the world and that is why we say it; funny thing though the people who say that have never traveled anywhere else.
Wow, the Samson story is very similar to 9/11, great comparison, and you did a great job reporting all the inconsistencies in the Samson story. It was also very funny. Great job on the trilogy. Thanks for making these videos.
For the sake of argument, before 9/11 - USA bombed the hell out of Iraq, which lead in total ~100,000 civillian lives. And it was okay, because they are Iraqi, not Americans. That's for the sake of ending not being biast, since I though it kinda was because of that. Probably the reason is relatibility, but taking a neutral issue would've been a bit better, than 9/11.
Tarfiel Archelone it wasn't said it was "alright", for me it was just an odd choice for an example, since it went the other way around with 9/11 issue. I'm not saying it's not tragic, but I'm saying, that while 100k Iraqi were killed PRIOR to the attack - it was okay for most people, since "those are not americans". But when 9/11 hapenned with 3k lives lost - that is when the "caring" about the issue came in, since it wasn't Iraqi citizens who died - it was americans. It's hard to expain, to be honest, so I'll try drawing: 100k Iraqies killed by US (minority gives a shit) -> Al Qaida does 9/11 (majority gives a shit).
+ TrickeyTrickyFox "and it was ok because they were iraqi"? Not sure how I can put this in perspective. The message at the end wasn't for us it was for people who try to rationalize the story. If they would rationalize this than they would rationalize the deaths of iraqi citizens. He didn't give them a choice though. He brought up similar scenario in which Samson was an Islamic terrorist and American citizens were palestineans. Example if I were to argue that the Hebrews immigration and subjugation of caananites land and people were wrong to believers of the tale. Do I bring up A. An example of them subjugating someone else or B. An example of them being subjugated by someone else?
TrickyTrickyFox This is exactly why I view fellow Americans who hate those in the middle east in blanketing fashion due to 9/11 as complete idiots. Hate those who commit terrorist acts, and hate those in our nation who thought that going to war (in the case of Iraq in a completely unrelated country to the attacks) due to an act of terrorism was something that made any sense. Also, we lost more American soldiers due to fighting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan than we lost civilians in the September 11th attacks alone. There were also countless non-American civilian deaths, as you have said, and even enemy combatant deaths - and believe it or not, those enemy combatants were for the most part likely just brainwashed and their deaths by no means justified in any way simply due to them being soldiers. The wars themselves were unnecessary - a waste of both lives and trillions of dollars, and also the loss of U.S. international support to the point that many individuals in foreign nations now view us as especially war-crazed and moronic compared to before. A tragedy really. Basically, causing death perhaps can be justified in - say - a war where you are fighting for an actual cause (such as in World War 2 for the "most" part), but our government basically took advantage of mass fear (weapons of mass destruction) and the ego of many Americans in order to fight wars that profited nobody except for private military contractors and a select few in certain political and economic circles. It is a damn shame that trillions of dollars that could have done so much, and hundreds of thousands of lives, had to pay for the profit of a small few.
Tarfiel Archelone I do understand, why it seemed as a good and relatable example, but my point is still here. In Samsons bullshit story - Samson was a war-hungry maniac, who found excuses to execute his evil on people, who didn't really care about him in the first place (to think of it, it might actually be a good example...). So putting the analogy into perspective, you have to expand the Samsons story with Palestines killing his father and raping his mother or something like that. Otherwise, the analogy misses a step. It kinda ruins the sequence of events, if I must add xD. Again, I'm not saying anything about 9/11 outside of the point of it being a bad analogy. Just for the sake of some innocent by-walker would come here and say "you're a souless pussyfart" or something xD.
The Old Testament is more entertaining. Actually, that's not necessarily true. Exodus through Deuteronomy can be pretty dull because they mostly just talk about laws, stoning people, kosher dietary laws, and boring rituals that few (if any) still perform today. But I've heard of a small Samaritan sect in Israel that still performs animal sacrifice the same way the Bible prescribes.
Actually, Jesus was actually a very cool guy. Though I don't believe in him, I like his message of forgiveness, charity, non-violence, non-judgement, and that the poor aren't something to spit on and the rich aren't the masters of the universe. It's why conservative media loves to say they're religious based but NEVER bring up Jesus. It's damn near impossible to stir up people into a rich people worshiping, gun toting, mob of ass holes using the words of Christ religion's biggest hippy. It would be like trying to restart the Nazi regime using episodes of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.
Michael Nyholt Oh of course! XD But it's leaps and bounds better than the old testament. They're so freaking different it's like Christianity is made up of two completely opposing religions.
I imagined the account differently when I read the Bible: When Samson stayed with the prostitute, the soldiers were supposed to kill him at dawn, but he got out at midnight, so the soldiers would be sleeping on their tents on the surroundings; and he lifted the gate altoghether in order not to ask someone else to open it, therefore waking everyone up (still a stretch, but that's how I tried to make sense out of it). About the story of Delilah: I thought she was just a philistine girl, I don't remember that she was his wife. Also I thought that they were having some BDSM the first two times (the ones with ropes), you know: She asks for his weakness , she gets dominant during sex games, and in the middle of it: "The philistines upon you!"
Great trilogy! Thank you for making it, and your comment at the end really hit home. Excellent work. I am amazed at the original story, the utter stupidity in it, the barbarity and cruelty. Yet, I remember being told it was a tale of God's love because he forgave Samson for breaking the vow about his hair and gave him back his strength so he could kill himself while tearing down the temple. Really, I was told this was a sign of God's love.
***** LOL, and why don't you? I mean, God clearly said don't eat shell fish and hasn't said anything to the contrary since then. Why are Christians justified in eating shell fish?
I remember the time my mom told me this story and I was like "So wait he told him even after he knew what would happen to him if he told her?" And she laughed and said "he did"
Samson had already broken his vows multiple times when his hair was cut. Nazerite Preists are not allowed to touch dead things and Sampson had already eaten honey from a lion's corpse and used part of a dead donkey as a weapon.
Samson could have just said "I don't know" and avoided all that. Also why didn't they just stab him in his sleep since they knew he was impossible to apprehend? the bible never mentioned that he couldn't be harmed.
This guy is definitely one of the most creative critic of the hebrew myth in the entire world! An amazing finale. The whole trilogy was amazing. Congrats!
Awesome analogy at the end. I had never thought of that before. Kudos indeed, DarkMatter!! (For added creepiness, the twin towers resembled two pillars like the ones Samson knocked down. Eerie coincidence (and yes, I know that coincidences can be interpreted very subjectively)
God sounds like a fan fiction writer. "Gosh guys, stop being so nitpicky! This is how the story goes, ok, I'm just having some fun!" See the similarity?
+Balomew fucking CHuck
hero0fqower ?
Balomew it's a reference to the show "Supernatural" where supposedly the character Chuck is "God" in disguise as a human who so happens to be a fan fiction writer that predicts everything happening to the main characters in the book, lol.
hero0fqower hahaha that sounds great !
***** I've never written fanfiction unless post-by-post roleplay counts. Every story doesn't end because it's always being edited.
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." --Isaac Asimov
Try searching "Bibble Samson" on YT and you will find many Samson cartoons omitting the worst parts of the story.
Absolutely
The Bible was written by an Atheist
Mark Twain agrees
@@michaelsuga52no
Samson - truly one of the most despicable persons in the entire Bible. He has absolutely no redeeming qualities, and yet he is _still_ lauded as a hero by Christians, who unashamedly tell this story to kids. It's like they don't see anything wrong with it at all.
There is one redeeming factor, he's a pretty decent character in the binding of isaac
This is why I'm agnostic
Joey Kahr - If you don't hold a positive belief in a god you're an agnostic atheist. Agnosticism is about knowledge not belief.
Kessler
Fair enough.
Joey Kahr you mean an agnostic atheist?
I was very saddened by this video. Besides all the ridiculous puns and catchphrases, none of this was actually exaggerated, and it sends a very powerful, a very serious message... and all deez tings.
Samantha Joie Tamayo hi
I actually found it extremely funny. It's not the story I was told as a kid!
What were u talking about have u even read the bible
Bob Ted actually have u?
@@overmeme953 yea I have what do u mean
The weird thing is that the book of Judges doesn't even sugar-coat anything. It just tells the story, 'this happened, then this happened then this happened'. Nothing to actually paint Samson as good, or his victims as evil. And yet, somehow Jews and Christians manage to see Samson as the good guy, because... well, because he's on their side, basically. It is actually quite sickening.
I was put off from some dumb GoAnimate series because of that...I can't believe part of the freaking Bible has that same problem!
It's no different than all of you guys who think the Allies were the good guys in World War II even though they commit more atrocities and warcrimes.
Two pillars, collapsing infrastructure, genocide via suicide...damn, the resemblance is uncanny! I just can't believe I didn't see it sooner. The only thing missing is Al Qaeda using Hulk Smash powers until their beards are shaved.
Maybe the secret IS in their beards. You don't know.
Maybe they had the weapons for the hijack of the planes in their beards?
randomintrestsperson My god....you cracked the code
Come to think of it, Samson's face doesn't seem to have hair. Maybe he was allowed to shave facial hair, or maybe it was one of the few biological traits that made him a "girly man" (no offense, ladies), or maybe the bible didn't specify anything about Samson's facial hair in its text. Oh well, DarkMatter2525 can't be held accountable for an animation glitch, considering the blatant disregard for logistics everywhere in the bible.
The Hulk Smash powers are the planes ;), and the terrorists had their beards shaved at perpetration, because they wanted to cover up, that they were muslim fanatics. So not that far off :P
Wow I can't believe I believed in this story with my whole heart
Me too .
Same I’m embarrassed
Don't be embarrassed or ashamed. We all were bamboozled by superstitions. It would be almost impossible not to believe story that your parents, or figures of authority, would tell you. Your parents grew up telling you everything especially Bible stories so they had to be true. Part of the problem which stands today is that people who grow up are afraid to examine whatever God they follow and whatever holy books they read. If they had the courage he could challenge their beliefs to see if they hold up to scrutiny. Therein lies the problem the lack of courage or the fear of challenging the thought of God not being real. Telling people that if they challenge. They will be punished by God. Therefore just believe what we tell you. Take it on faith. But faith cannot lead someone to truth. Isn't it better to know the truth? Would you put Faith into flying a plane if you've never flown one? Or crossing a road without looking? Orna doctor about to perform surgery on you who is never perform surgery before? There is no room for faith. There is room for Trust because of previous actions. An example is a plane that has been flown by a qualified and certified pilot who is done it several times before without incident. Or a doctor who has performed many surgeries without incident. Crossing the road at a traffic light without incident. This is trust in a demonstrable action, not faith.
Absurd or not. Its true
@@kingmash254 nope
I love the "offensive nipples" censor bar compared to the thin line censor bar highlighting the "nonoffensive nipples" on a man, clearly displaying the double standard. Religion: making you feel bad about having a healthy, sexual drive since the fucking Bronze Age.
+orwell9788 Only women were supposed to feel bad, originally
+SkepticalFox Well the seventeenth commandment is "Thou shalt not have fun".
+SkepticalFox Yea I can appreciate that joke, but the obvious sexualization of women in these videos is kind of suspect. Like, why do they all have big fake tits?
+oldedude51 stop whining, dude. I asked a simple question and I think the poster above answered pretty adequately. I don't need to hear about your anti-sjw bullshit.
?? I don't even know what you're talking about. I also don't care. Welcome to the internet, where everybody thinks you're dumb and nobody cares what you think. Good day, sir.
I actually think we've found a worse story than Twilight.
and Twilight set the bar pretty low.
The whole religious books are worse than Twilight.
Knuf Wons Actually, Twilight series is my favorite movie series
just because its your favourite doesn't mean it doesnt suck
*better
What exactly is the point of the Samson story again? I can see why most of the time they just tell the part about his hair in Sunday school.
The point IS his hair; just look at it! It's flawless!
whats the point? look what Israel is doing to Gaza now. the point if any is slaughter of people different that you because they are different from you.
read it in the bible ;)
Supposedly it's a story telling Samson's devotion towards god, but the immorality of it is not justified by the genocides that took place with the time period.
The point of this is to tell bodybuilders to stop working out and to grow hair dumbass.
Perfect ending. I'm having that very argument with my cousin, who thinks one Israeli death is worse than 10,000 Palestinians.
Tell him either death is bad and if he still thinks that way , ask if its because isrealis are "jewish" and the palestinians are muslims and if he says yes , hes just plain ignorant !
Fascist are like that.
or beat the shit out of him for thinking that way
Actualy , in my case muslims have been waaaayyyy more nice to me than jews. Just sayin
Then cut off his pubic hair or something until he stops breaking down doors.
Wouldn't it make more sense... TO JUST KILL HIM WHILE HE'S ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, because god's enemies work in mysterious ways.
+Daniel Rabinovitz Every sentence referring to a passage in the Bible can be started with "Wouldn't it make more sense..."
Do you really think making sense was one of their concerns?
***** They turned water into wine, then they wrote...
Yeah, slit his throat or something.
If they ever make a movie about Samson and Delilah, Arnold should play Sampson.
Exactly my thought! he reminds me of Arnold somehow
I hope you're kidding ^^
RavagersPrey History did a documentary and Samson was black 😂
They would all have been middle eastern or northern African---pretty dark-skinned. Really. (I mean, fine, but always depicted in the west as whites. Definitely not.)
They did, and it was just as stupid.
If God is real, then why hasn't he struck down DarkMatter2525 for mocking him? Surely if God could flood the entire Earth for their sins, then he could easily get rid of this one person who constantly makes a mockery of him.
+AKA Trae God isn't really omnipotent. He's been gradually burning through his power over the years. Used up the last of it on Hitchens, as I recall. Now, he's stuck playing skee ball in New Jersey
I seriously hope your joking
God made us with the power of Free Will. So please, tell me why God would possibly give us free will and strike down a person for using his Free Will.
+Elizabeth Popham The Free Will argument didn't exist before the Victorian age, of recent vintage. Until then all was considered preordained. And, the hell or godless eternity or second death concepts invalidate your entire comment Elizabeth.
Elizabeth Popham "why God would possibly give us free will and strike down a person for using his Free Will." didn't stop him from flooding the earth.
1:30 Inoffensive nipples
Hahaha, great job
monsieurbreakyourpc why do men have nipples anyway, especially if man was supposedly created first 🤷🏽♂️?
@@seanjsellscars Beacuse when a fetus is developing, your a female. Then its up to the chromosomes which determines if you stay female or develop into a male.
@@Sergei_kv82 good answer
@@2036za Well I was paraphrasing, but if you learn how birth works highschool, not the cheewis version in churches or houses or some shit
@Sergei_kv82 do u know that men get prone to many diseases and brain deficiencies by the time they get affected in the womb? How is that a development?
The comparison to 9/11 was really brilliant. And I love the Samsonator. Lol.
Ex Jehovah's Witness, I see the stupidity of my contribution to an oppressive cult. Thank God I'm out of that. Your videos woke the hell out of me. Good job!
JW is a cult but not Christianity
Anime Is Trash No, Christianity is a cult. All religions are a cult. All religions use extortion tactics to force you to believe. "Believe in God and our prophet or you're going to BURN IN HELL!!!!1!!1!11!!!"
When the scare tactics fail, they then use violence and mob mentality to try to break you into joining. When that fails, they either kill you, or drive you away, and use their cult as a justification in doing so, and pretend like they've done nothing wrong, as if it were something required of them to do to get their ultimate reward.
+chaoseclipse01
so basically, humanity is a cult. no shit sherlock lol
@@chaoseclipse0121
Well that was one giant strawman *;-)*
so u;d still be a witnrss if it werent for these lil flicks?
A compelling ending, DarkMatter; the depth of your work here has increased exponentially over the past year or so, brilliantly engaging comedic parody/satire to illustrate the absurd, thoroughly inconsistent, blood-drenched and destructive institution of religion. *You*, sir, are a genius. Thank you.
WHY DO PEOPLE DEFEND THIS BOOK?
+HyperSonicX For several reasons. Like god in this comic strip. 1) It's easier to not think than think for yourself.
2) We don't read the bible, we worship it, maybe even have sex with it. But reading is hard work. You don't want us doing that do you?
3) We go to church to have our prejudices reinforced by a lying preacher who probably takes drugs & has gay sex with a bought boy toy.
4) It makes us feel superior to all the inferior masses who believe the 30,000 different denominations of this cult.
5) We can't do math at all, so we just believe that all those other cults are actually our own. And that when we take over, it will be our little sect that does it. Then We WILL HAVE POWER!!! UNLIMITED POWER!!!!! Mwhahaha!!!
Sadly, that's exactly the scenario you're looking at.
Obviously.
Obviously.
I've read it all. I defend it because i just do. LET ME BELEIVE WHAT I WANT
Falconsite- OK dear. So you have a compulsive- addictive personality disorder. We understand.
I've been watching atheist vids for the past hour, and the all the ads I've seen are for Christian children books. Yes, TH-cam. How subtle of you...
Join the club...
+Syd McDaniel A fool & his money are soon parted. Why shouldn't UT exploit them? If someone is bat shit crazy enough to beat themselves over the head, what you gonna do? Hold their hands for the rest of their lives?
+Syd McDaniel I rarely get christian...no i have ad block on
+Syd McDaniel I dont believe it.
The commercial I saw was for the movie Risen
What are you talking about?
"It was morally right", FUTURE apologists would say, "because those 3000 people were Americans."
They say that shit today.
Nahodakk Only some of them, most of them are just people living their lives. Just like in any other country. The only difference is that the bad ones are in control in the USA. The country only pretends to be democratic, the real power lies with the ones with the most money.
Nahodakk I wold LOVE see USA burn, but tabularasa0606 is right. Most of them only want to live their lives in peace. The justice matters are still annoying thought.
Nahodakk Nothing to back up your assertion? No surprise... And what the hell is a juice master?
tabularasa0606 The issue at hand here has nothing to do with democracy or money or who rules the US. We're talking about people who hate the US, both domestic and foreign. Islamic extremists hate the US because most of our people do not strictly adhere to their Islamic religion (btw, they hate other countries too, just the US is the biggest fish to fry.) We have a lot of Americans who hate America, because they spend their lives getting bombarded with false or exaggerated propaganda about the "evils" of America, IE: the country is really run by evil rich corporations. And they simply lack a good enough BS detector see through that nonsense.
Quote _ You would LOVE to see the USA burn? Why? Its frustrating when people say things like this without giving any justification. Either they think that everyone else will just agree with them or they have no good justification. Or both.
I've noticed that this video is sparklingly religious Troll-free. So faithfully was the biblical nonsense reconstructed that I think even fundamentalists are too embarrassed to even try and defend it. They are vanquished in the sight of the Lord. Huzzah and well met, DarkMatter!
I know it's 4 years late but you can't logically refute this masterpiece
they don't have to, they simply can say "that was the old testament" and cherry pick as they always have
or that it was "god's decision and he knows best"
@@Knux5577
GOD indeed created us and so HE knows what is bets for us just as an engineer Knows his MACHINE best
And how ASININE. Is it that you believe the whole universe and every magnificent galaxy and planet just poofed into existence out of NOTHING ?
@@maalikserebryakov what is actually asinine here is your spelling. Proofread your comments before embarrassing yourself even more
This is the thing I've always had a problem with even as a child. Why is it that after the third attempt, he didn't notice that she has been saying that philistines are coming, when there weren't any in the previous other attempts. Or ask her who she is afraid of looking foolish to? And moreover, why it's always the women who ruin the lives of men. Eve, Job's wife, Delilah, etc
Because the books of the Bible were written by men living in a patriarchal society who could treat women as poorly as they wanted
I guess there's really only 2 roles for women characters in the bible - theyre either not worth mentioning, or they're the villain of the story 💁♂️
It is actually unbelievable how one is fed with this story in childhood as some kind of hero story while actually is incredibly stupid, totally not logical and actually one big joke. Still one of the premium stories in children's bible books though!
Great way of making this crystal clear to us with references to the bible stories.
My grandfather try to feed me with theses stupid story when i was a kid. Little did he know its actually thanks to him I didn't believe in that garbage story.
@@acarriere30 i guess being a moron is genetic. th-cam.com/video/yR3GYYlVce0/w-d-xo.html one time for your mind.
2:38 "Ambush him when he leaves the gates!"
*Samson lifts up gate*
"Well, hes still technically in the gates"
The mention of the similarities between this story and 9/11 gave me chills. Well done sir, well done.
samson trilogy by darkmatter2525 deserves afew oscars
and all of those things.
Silly Name lawl
Nowwwwrrr!!!
Gabriel Cornea stop talking hebrew. I dont understand.
You give him a few Oscars, you give him a few Oscars NAOOOO!!!!!
DarkMatter2525 you are without doubt the most brilliant person i've ever seen on youtube.
The Daily Intelligence io
if you think this is brilliance.... i am lost for words. th-cam.com/video/yR3GYYlVce0/w-d-xo.html
"She doesn't look very clean"
Said the guy covered in paint, blood, and dirt. XD
I love it though.
Carson Fijal and honey
I wonder: If we kind of often keep contradicting ourselves over and over and over, then how fast can we do it?
Carson Fijal that’s the joke
Imagine baby Arnold at 08:50 instead of saying goo-goo, he says "goo-goo, and all of these things"
The secret to Samson's strength: 100 Pushups, 100 situps, 100 squats, and a 10km run, EVERY DAY!!!..... or maybe that's some other guy ^_^
Can't be Samson, that would make his magic hair fall out.
I feel like the bit about Saitama's hair falling off might have been an indirect reference to Samson's story. It's a long shot, but Japanese anime writers made weirder Biblical references before.
@@Ponera-Sama Yeah (Headache inducing 'Evangelion' anyone? ^_^)
When I made that comment, I really hadn't thought about the whole Saitama is bald while Samson's whole shtick is his long hair thing ^_^
@@MrChupacabra555 The reason Evangelion has bible references was because the Creator thought they looked and sounded cool. Didn't even know what the words mean.
heres the real source of samson's strength. th-cam.com/video/yR3GYYlVce0/w-d-xo.html
this was one of the best youtube videos i had ever seen
lol guys
+Suhani Singh It's pretty punny... and all deez tings!
Why?
Wait what suhani singh to taylor singh
Lol my mom has a Suhani tailor named tailor shop
7/11 was a part time job
puns
Lmao
YAUGH I LIKE THESE CARTOONS, YOU WILL MAKE MORE, YOU WILL MAKE MORE NOW! YAUGHHH
+AnActualAnt Cool it, Samson. DarkMatter will be in touch with you shortly. Or maybe not.
+AnActualAnt and all deez things!
+AnActualAnt I love your comment :oD Made my day!
yaugh!
And all of these things.
the only reason anyone can still be a theist after seeing ur videos is because they lack the ability to unlearn what they have learnt
But the kool-aid tastes too good! xD
Vini Franchelli not true sir. LET'S JUST SAY THAT WE NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH BEHIND THIS SO CALLED FICTION. Most of the events does have geographical and archaeological facts behind them.YES any story told or written by man can as always have and will be distorted but as intellectual beings of the NEW ENLIGHTENMENT AGE we can do research and go even deeper the true origins of it all for humans though logical ( for the most part) should know there is no such thing as deja vu or imagination we only go by things we've seen or what others have seen and we have heard it. Ppl long to explain the un explainable. CONTINUE TO DIG
Vini Franchelli fuck you
No, it runs deeper, Flat Earthers, Mormons, Scientologists, Illuminati, conspiratory theorists, the list of ridiculous beliefs is incredibly long. Humans are mind bogglingly stupid.
Did you know Sir Isaac Newton actually believed Jesus had come to Earth to re-wind the gravity engine during the 30 or so years he was 'missing'? Even geniuses are idiots.
Keith Graham don't forget to delve deeper and find globetards, NASA fanboys, pseudo sci-fi fanatics and scientism cults!! It doesn't take a genius to know the earth is anything but a SPINNING BALL hurling in space!! Its not rocket science nor is it a "conspiracy theory" ..your fault is you simply can't accept that a lie on such a massive scale could ever be accomplished, despite realizing the world is in a shitty state because of all these liars enslaving us all! But ofc you believe you're free because that's the deception.. They don't even have to announce us as slaves when they can quietly work us as slaves.. I bet you're a real scumbag too at work, to strangers and in your personal life.. Don't try to justify yourself.. There's no humanity left inside the people these days.. Everyone is so divided and against each other.. No one wants to help each other.. And I'm not even talking about sharing your wealth or becoming some kinda robin hood.. I'm talking about simple acts of kindness which, people nowadays can't even seem to share a little of.. Be humble man
"Hookah smoking - hooker fucker!" Try to say that 10 times faster! It's a great tongue twister. I'm using it on a daily basis from now on! xD
I’ve always though this story was strange when I was a kid. Now as an adult I see how ridiculous it is and Samson was a mass murdering psychopath
Its hard to see it when everyone including god is a mass murdering psychopath.
I don't know why, but every time he kicks in the door and hits people in the head I start laughing my ass off LOL.
bellametallica He just loves kicking doors :)
Me too. I laughed harder every time.
Bradley Parrett
Espcecially the terminator gag :)
+bellametallica Yeah, seriously. That is one of the funniest parts in the vid. Absolutely hilarious. xD
+Terrible Tallrus Seriously funny way the story is told and then they plop a bunch of moralizing BS to the end. Stick to the humor dickwad!
I thought God said it's a shame for men to have long hair...
Well spotted!! ....... 1 Corinthians 11:14..........."Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him"
But nature (sorry, God's perfect design) doesn't stop men's hair from growing long anyway so WTF??! I'm starting to think this Bible book thingy might not be entirely accurate.
@@rossini55 always made me wonder why they depict Jesus as a long haired hippie
That was Paul not Christ...
@vj21oq 2 , first statement is God thinks long hair on a male is a disgrace, second statement is giving the source for this remark,
cited from 1 Corinthians...
That's Paul not God...
Telling me he is the third most important person in the bible is not a counterargument, if that's what you are going for...
Third most important? Who do you consider the first and second? Just curious...
This is actually crazy, God giving fashion tips... Oops, no, it's the anal retentive, control freak, Paul
that little monologue you made at the end was well worth the 40 plus minutes i spent watching the trilogy. thank you for the hard work and time to making this video. hopefully more people can see this in the future
can we have an "arghhh" counter for samson?
And a door kick gag reel!
And bad puns
Aaaargggh'll be back!
x3 That sounds like it would be pointless enough to be cool
Gabriel Cornea Because I've just gone to the Castle Aaargh!
Never thought it that way. Good comparison. Samson is just a very effective al-Qaida terrorist or in other ways, al-Qaida is Samson revamped. I remember reading Samsons story as a child in a childrens bible without any background story, history or explanation and actually thought, that he was a brave, but brute man fighting for justice, that is how the bible tells it. It's funny comparing that to al-Qaida with almost the exact same numbers and ideological story...
Great work. Made me think. Bibles could be banned as terrorist propaganda as well...
I'd say that is how the Bible intends to tell it, but as this series shows, it fails quite miserably. Modern interpretations leave the bad stuff out, of course.
Nahodakk
Somebody's got an inferiority complex, because they aren't American...
***** i found you
So the beards are the reason for their power?
Nahodakk I could hook you up with an all-expense paid vacation to syria with a free t-shirt that says "Jewish" in several different languages right now! Just call me at 1-800-GoFuckYourSelf
Holy shit, this is worse than I imagined. I should really read that shit.
Zaric Zhakaron SKSE isnt installed properly i need help
KawaiiFoxStudios
Run the installer again, make sure the folder is correct, and you have to run Skyrim trough the link it creates.
Jani SIr
>USING THE INSTALLER
i kek errytiem
*****
?
*****
white lives matter too
What a beautiful work. Did not expect the ending analogy to 9/11 and it made everything 100x more meaningful. Great job Darkmatter
Wow, your last line was genius when you compared 9/11 to Samson. They are both truly gruesome acts.
Such perfect timing! I go to bible study every Sunday and we JUST finished Judges 15 and will be in 16 next week... You brought up some pretty good points that I may or may not bring up at church next week...
DON'T!!! Religious people DO NOT like to be contradicted or questioned when it comes to ANYTHING in the bible! You have to remember in their minds everything in the bible- I'm sorry most of them haven't even read the thing- everything from the mouth of their preacher is true. God can never be wrong! He is just! The moment you actually apply critical thought to sermons people think you are questioning God which is a HUGE taboo. You may think this a small trivial matter but believe me it is not.
Darkness7508 We all actually read the bible thoroughly, and in different translations too. We barely get through a single chapter an hour and dissect nearly every word. We've been in Judges for the past 5 months!
***** is correct when it comes to "God wanted it so"... and changing anyone's mind isn't going to happen there.
izovire How did it go??? I'm so curious to know what happened.
This Guy He was probably stoned to death!
Thank for letting us know dickwad.
THOR IS THE REAL GOD! WORSHIP ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU LIGHTNING POWERS!
***** Thor is better!
Zeus already gave me lightning powers. He is just giving them away. He is so desperate for attention. :/
*****
Hail Poseidon, God of all that is wet and watery.
Perun gave me my lightning powers. They have the nicest color of all!
Prometheus gave me fire even though it led to his detriment. Could you say the same for yourself?
"OUCH!!! I HAVE BROKEN THE LITTLE PIGGY THAT ABSTAINS FROM ROAST BEEF! A-AND THE ONE THAT JINGLES ALL THE WAY HOME!"
i'm dead omg
That was amazing.. I had not heard the story of Samson since I was a child, & I didn't realize how completely unintelligible the entire story was. It blows my mind that these types of tales are the basis of one of the worlds most dominant religions.
But i noticed they didn't shave his pubic hair..shouldn't that give him a lil boost /:
Titos SS but god is against foreskins so I assume anything natural there has to go at birth and never come back
@Kpuda 123
I want foreskin regeneration for the victims.
Baribefe Kpurubu Hair on their thinking head, not on their other head. Totally different.
I've read judges and this is entirely accurate .not any of those movies or animated kids bible stories
God-"Jeffrey, I don't have to make sense, because, because..."
God & Jeffrey - "I'm GOOOOOOD!"
Kills me every time!
After watching your clips, I become even more atheistic. Actualy the bible makes no sense, must be the same in Islaam, Budhism and other religions.
Buddhism is hardly a religion more than just a traditional way of life connected to nature. doesn't really have gods
Technically it does, it just mostly focuses on the lifestyle part.
Most of the Old Testament are isrealite propaganda so that they, as a people free from Egypt could freely settle and empower themselves. Which they did.
Only technically does. The word "God" for Buddhists doesn't mean the same thing.
MopHeDD
I don't know enough about Buddhism to argue the point, so I'll just take your word for it.
I never bothered reading Samson before, and now this trilogy prompted me to go and do it and yeah, it's basically Samson punching himself in the face over and over again and then swearing revenge on the Philistines for it, what the hell
I laughed so hard when I saw all the people on the roof, that I was crying. I never once thought about the concept that 3,000 people were on the roof of a building and not in a theatre. I love your videos.
He's so stupid to tell Delilah his secret of his strength.
You left out the best parts. Delilah only agreed to betray Sampson if the Philistines promised not to stab, cut, or draw blood from Sampson. Sampson's eyes were burned shut with branding iron and he did not bleed. They didn't use a dagger to blind him because the Philistines kept their word with Delilah. After Sampson's capture the Philistines used him as a stud to make more super hulk men (kind of like eugenics crazed nazis). These unborn children would later become giants and turn against the Philistines. The 3000 people were not on the roof of the temple. They were crushed under the roof. There was a giant statue of Maulic on the roof that fell when Sampson pushed apart two pillars.
Novusod: So Samson killed some of his own children in the womb there in attendance one would have to assume.
All what you've written is not in the text of the bible I own. Nothing about his eyes being burned vs. stabbed, nothing about being a stud while in prison, nothing about a statue of any god on the roof and in the text there are 3000 people on the roof. Where did you get your information from?
Yeah, no, really, where are you getting this information from? Not from The Book of Judges in the Bible.
The method of blinding is not described, the statue was of Dagon and there’s no mention of offspring. None of deez tings.
Hah i acually looked up the verses and he acually portays it exactly how it is written, he doesnt even go over the top,he doesnt need to..incredible!
Nicely done as ALWAYS. Also.. the second i saw the Twin Towers, i thought to myself " 9/11... what does that have to do with it.. there was like 3 thou--Ohhhh. It's amazing how many times you can read a story and not see the glaring problems with it. You just keep getting better and better DarkMatter.
Dude the ending was plane wrong, just because of that I am giving this series9/11
I fucking love you DarkMatter. This is top notch comedy. You really improved from your earlier work few years ago.
You know when you actually read the story its just as ridiculous as it looks in this video. Half of the stuff made little sense, women were portrayed as untrustworthy, and the Philistines got a bad rap.
Yet the murdering psychopath beating the shit out of people with the jaw bone of a donkey is not considered wrong. Jeffrey was right, people were deliberately stupid just for the sake of storytelling.
your interpretation and lack of understanding is worrisome. th-cam.com/video/yR3GYYlVce0/w-d-xo.html
I will never get over the 3000 people on the roof supported by two pillars.
Imagine a collab between DarkMatter & Cinemasins-Everything Wrong With: The Passion of Christ. The sheer awesomeness *_*
Since you touched the subject of sexism in this video, maybe you could base your next one in regards of that matter, since most of christians don't appear to acknowledge that there IS plenty of sexism in the bible, same goes for the torah and quran.
Sexism in the Bible.
-1 Corinthians 11: 3, 7, 8 & 9
"But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is head of woman ... For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God. But woman is the glory of man Because man is not from woman, but woman from man, nor was man created for woman, but woman for the man. "
Ephesians 5: 22 & 23
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, which is his body, and is himself its Savior."
The latter may explain why women can not be priests.
Women no right to speak
-1 Corinthians 14: 34 & 35
"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.
And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home; it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. "
-1 Timothy 2: 11-15
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
She shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. "
This is in the New Testament.
The bible is hardly flattering to either men or women. Representing unsavory characters of either sex (which isn't strictly sexist). While positing sexist rules for both sexes.
Thermic Light
There are some evil white characters in fiction back in the old days so what your point?
"I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression."
now how is that in anyway dose not makes men more superior than women?
face it your a male supremacist.
Nahodakk troll detected
Yes, the bible needs feminism! I am not one myself but I would if we live how the bible told us to live. My mum is the same she's in denial about how bad the bible is. Like all Christians, they defend it even when it's wrong. It's crazy to me.
Thermic Light That is true. We could easily say that religions tends to endorse traditional gender roles, and stereotypes of both men and women.
Being men the strong, muscular warriors, not very intelligent and easily manipulated.
Being women the weak, sexual attractive, manipulative and deceiving.
But I will like to add that this passages in the bible tend to address women in a negative light because of their gender. Sure we can see men like Samson in a negative way too, if we pay attention to the kind of actions he commits. But I don't know about any passage in the bible who address men as a gender in a bad manner.
It might be a little tricky to do that because in many cases we will encounter parts were it is said bad things about men, but in my opinion, many of those cases tends to refer to humanity or mankind, rather that male gender.
I could be wrong thought.
Can we take a second and acknowledge how insanely large Sampson’s downstairs blur is? I mean daaaaaannnnnnnnnngggggggg! Lol 😂 😂 😝 😆 😂
"Because I'm GOD." is like HISHE's "Because I'm BATMAN!"
Pimp: would you prefer ample bosom, or ample bottom?
Samson: Y E S
Seen a biblical epic movie "Samson and Delilah" as a child. They demonized the Philistenes pretty good so that when the ass jaw part came everyone was cheering.
The most probable is that that genocide never happened because the story was written way after since there were not Philistines in Palestine before the 12th centure BCE, also the jews share common DNA with canaanites, so maybe they just developed a different identity at some point and wrote those stories to create to themselves a mythological origin.
Who do you think would win in a death battle between Samson, Hercules, the Hulk, and the Thing from Fantastic 4?
That would be a hella of a fight!
+Erik Kartman Hmmm.....which Hulk? Because either Samson (OP strong guy with apparently no weakness because reasons) or one of the many versions of Hulk.
+Benjamin Ortola That also depends on which Hercules as well. Kevin Sorbo's? No chance. Disney's? Would last a bit longer but end the same. Fate series? Potential contender, especially if he comes into the battle while on his way to the store to get batteries & brings his buddy Lancer, the best club a man can get.
InfernosReaper What if Red Hulk is the Hulk version?
Benjamin Ortola
That's no more a Hulk than Dick Grayson is Batman
InfernosReaper True....
"you can't make a pledge without comprehending it first"
isn't it weird that we have been saying the pledge of allegiance to the United States since kindergarten?
i didn't say they were ???
how ??? what part of my comment implied that i think kindergarteners are babies ??? they are small children who don't understand what pledging allegiance really means, yes, but never did i say or imply kindergarteners are babies.
@Shawn Dominique who tf cares, they still don't understand what it means. don't avoid the question
They told us America is the best country in the world and that is why we say it; funny thing though the people who say that have never traveled anywhere else.
Wow, the Samson story is very similar to 9/11, great comparison, and you did a great job reporting all the inconsistencies in the Samson story. It was also very funny. Great job on the trilogy. Thanks for making these videos.
For the sake of argument, before 9/11 - USA bombed the hell out of Iraq, which lead in total ~100,000 civillian lives. And it was okay, because they are Iraqi, not Americans. That's for the sake of ending not being biast, since I though it kinda was because of that. Probably the reason is relatibility, but taking a neutral issue would've been a bit better, than 9/11.
+ TrickeyTrickyFox ... sorry I seemed to miss the part where I or anybody said it was alright?
Tarfiel Archelone it wasn't said it was "alright", for me it was just an odd choice for an example, since it went the other way around with 9/11 issue. I'm not saying it's not tragic, but I'm saying, that while 100k Iraqi were killed PRIOR to the attack - it was okay for most people, since "those are not americans". But when 9/11 hapenned with 3k lives lost - that is when the "caring" about the issue came in, since it wasn't Iraqi citizens who died - it was americans.
It's hard to expain, to be honest, so I'll try drawing:
100k Iraqies killed by US (minority gives a shit) -> Al Qaida does 9/11 (majority gives a shit).
+ TrickeyTrickyFox "and it was ok because they were iraqi"? Not sure how I can put this in perspective. The message at the end wasn't for us it was for people who try to rationalize the story. If they would rationalize this than they would rationalize the deaths of iraqi citizens. He didn't give them a choice though. He brought up similar scenario in which Samson was an Islamic terrorist and American citizens were palestineans.
Example if I were to argue that the Hebrews immigration and subjugation of caananites land and people were wrong to believers of the tale. Do I bring up A. An example of them subjugating someone else or B. An example of them being subjugated by someone else?
TrickyTrickyFox This is exactly why I view fellow Americans who hate those in the middle east in blanketing fashion due to 9/11 as complete idiots. Hate those who commit terrorist acts, and hate those in our nation who thought that going to war (in the case of Iraq in a completely unrelated country to the attacks) due to an act of terrorism was something that made any sense.
Also, we lost more American soldiers due to fighting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan than we lost civilians in the September 11th attacks alone. There were also countless non-American civilian deaths, as you have said, and even enemy combatant deaths - and believe it or not, those enemy combatants were for the most part likely just brainwashed and their deaths by no means justified in any way simply due to them being soldiers.
The wars themselves were unnecessary - a waste of both lives and trillions of dollars, and also the loss of U.S. international support to the point that many individuals in foreign nations now view us as especially war-crazed and moronic compared to before. A tragedy really.
Basically, causing death perhaps can be justified in - say - a war where you are fighting for an actual cause (such as in World War 2 for the "most" part), but our government basically took advantage of mass fear (weapons of mass destruction) and the ego of many Americans in order to fight wars that profited nobody except for private military contractors and a select few in certain political and economic circles.
It is a damn shame that trillions of dollars that could have done so much, and hundreds of thousands of lives, had to pay for the profit of a small few.
Tarfiel Archelone I do understand, why it seemed as a good and relatable example, but my point is still here. In Samsons bullshit story - Samson was a war-hungry maniac, who found excuses to execute his evil on people, who didn't really care about him in the first place (to think of it, it might actually be a good example...). So putting the analogy into perspective, you have to expand the Samsons story with Palestines killing his father and raping his mother or something like that. Otherwise, the analogy misses a step. It kinda ruins the sequence of events, if I must add xD.
Again, I'm not saying anything about 9/11 outside of the point of it being a bad analogy. Just for the sake of some innocent by-walker would come here and say "you're a souless pussyfart" or something xD.
that point on 9/11 is just genius.
i was told this story as a child. Yet they conveniently left out the prostitute part.
I love the voice acting for Samson and Delilah - They're brilliant.
I'd like to see you pick apart some New Testament material. I mostly see Old Testament stuff here. Great work on everything!
Well its still included in the Bible. So Christians obviously still think its relevant.
The Old Testament is more entertaining. Actually, that's not necessarily true. Exodus through Deuteronomy can be pretty dull because they mostly just talk about laws, stoning people, kosher dietary laws, and boring rituals that few (if any) still perform today. But I've heard of a small Samaritan sect in Israel that still performs animal sacrifice the same way the Bible prescribes.
Actually, Jesus was actually a very cool guy. Though I don't believe in him, I like his message of forgiveness, charity, non-violence, non-judgement, and that the poor aren't something to spit on and the rich aren't the masters of the universe. It's why conservative media loves to say they're religious based but NEVER bring up Jesus. It's damn near impossible to stir up people into a rich people worshiping, gun toting, mob of ass holes using the words of Christ religion's biggest hippy. It would be like trying to restart the Nazi regime using episodes of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.
Shredded Wheat
You have to admit that the new testament has some weird and illogical stuff though.
Michael Nyholt
Oh of course! XD But it's leaps and bounds better than the old testament. They're so freaking different it's like Christianity is made up of two completely opposing religions.
I imagined the account differently when I read the Bible:
When Samson stayed with the prostitute, the soldiers were supposed to kill him at dawn, but he got out at midnight, so the soldiers would be sleeping on their tents on the surroundings; and he lifted the gate altoghether in order not to ask someone else to open it, therefore waking everyone up (still a stretch, but that's how I tried to make sense out of it).
About the story of Delilah: I thought she was just a philistine girl, I don't remember that she was his wife. Also I thought that they were having some BDSM the first two times (the ones with ropes), you know: She asks for his weakness , she gets dominant during sex games, and in the middle of it: "The philistines upon you!"
I just read judges 16 and noticed how old the principe of clickbait is.
This channel gave me the courage to finally face my doubts about the immortal nightmares of the Bible. Thank you. I’m finally free of Christianity.
I love how Jeffery is mad at Sampson's stupidity 😂😂😂😂
its almost like the bad guys know how the story goes, that made me laugh .
Great trilogy! Thank you for making it, and your comment at the end really hit home. Excellent work. I am amazed at the original story, the utter stupidity in it, the barbarity and cruelty.
Yet, I remember being told it was a tale of God's love because he forgave Samson for breaking the vow about his hair and gave him back his strength so he could kill himself while tearing down the temple. Really, I was told this was a sign of God's love.
Samson is the Terminator? OF COURSE!!!
8:59 "Babies can't make vows"
Says the baby who can make vows.
Cognitive dissonance.
That might describe it.
You should do Leviticus or Numbers. God lighting people on fire
***** Oh, snap! They will rage so hard.
*****
LOL, and why don't you? I mean, God clearly said don't eat shell fish and hasn't said anything to the contrary since then. Why are Christians justified in eating shell fish?
***** so he dissolved the 10 commandments? The creation story?
***** Explain to me how rules and regulations has anything to do with salvation, and thus how they should be taken nul and void?
***** Well, why would he cancel out the OT if he created the OT and is supposed to be omniscient?
I remember the time my mom told me this story and I was like "So wait he told him even after he knew what would happen to him if he told her?" And she laughed and said "he did"
Samson had already broken his vows multiple times when his hair was cut. Nazerite Preists are not allowed to touch dead things and Sampson had already eaten honey from a lion's corpse and used part of a dead donkey as a weapon.
I've always wanted to use part of a dead donkey as a weapon... 🤔
@@ArKritz84 It'll be awhile before Sarah Jessica Parker kicks the bucket. Patience please.
My question is why didn't Samson kill her after the second or third betrayal?
The way he just looks sounds like the Terminator is so gold😂😂😂😂
If Sampson has super strength why doesn't his hair have super strength?
He has super strength not super durability
“Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.”
THAT'S SOME KINK AS SHIT
LOL @ offensive nipples vs. inoffensive nipples
After watching these videos, I'm starting to unironically love the bible, but as the best surreal comedy ever written.
Samson could have just said "I don't know" and avoided all that.
Also why didn't they just stab him in his sleep since they knew he was impossible to apprehend? the bible never mentioned that he couldn't be harmed.
just let God have fun with his holy fanfiction
This whole “logic” and “ making sense” thing is quite unsettling…
This guy is definitely one of the most creative critic of the hebrew myth in the entire world!
An amazing finale. The whole trilogy was amazing. Congrats!
Awesome analogy at the end. I had never thought of that before. Kudos indeed, DarkMatter!! (For added creepiness, the twin towers resembled two pillars like the ones Samson knocked down. Eerie coincidence (and yes, I know that coincidences can be interpreted very subjectively)
The puns made me cry my ass off: when he said "I will make it snappy" omg I cried