A funny thing about tradwives that the men who wants those don't know/understand/follow, is that historically, the wife took care of the household. Simple right? One thing that was included in her "duties" was the finances. Meaning that the wife paid the bills, cashed checks at the bank, etc. So in a way, the wife held the control over the households money. Which is something men who wants tradwives now simply do not want at all (because then they can't control her).
It’s nice to see a group of men that understand stuff like this! Really good and nuanced takes. I could see many other similar types of shows not take this as seriously as it is. Great show!
Tradwife isn't the same as a SAHM. Tradwife is more of forcing women into a role... SAHMs are necessarily tradwives. There is a whole political and white nationalist undertone with tradwives.
At the very least, he needs counseling to figure out how to get validation from himself and not a bunch of red-pill misogynists on social media. Then couples ' counseling.
I feel like this doesn't really need to be said, but I will anyway 😂 Not everything can be solved and/or worked out with therapy and/or couseling. It's a nice sentiment, even though it's kind of naïve. There's been plenty of stories on reddit where those didn't help at all, and in some cases made it worse. Then you're looking at money lost and that can cause more anger/resentment. Plus, some things aren't worth working it out. Not falling for the sunk cost falacy. Also, there's a saying that's often used on reddit: "when someone tells/shows you who they are, believe them." The husband has shown who he is, and what he thinks of OP. Therapy isn't going to change that. If anything, he'll learn how to hide it better.
At first I thought that; maybe she can give him a chance, because he was just being silly, or smth. But after hearing you guys input on it, especially the fact that everything on the internet stays forever, and "it's just perpetuating a stereotype.." the way he post it on specific forums, was factors I wasn't even thinking about! Which makes this situation much worse than I thought! I agree to either go to a couples therapy/counceling or getting a divorce. But to answer her question; no, she would't be an a-hole if she wanted a divorce. She has the right to divorce for any reason, but I think that we can all agree for ESPECIALLY this reason!
even though he deleted it, he must in some capacity still think of her that way. which is made all the worse by the fact that she didnt want to be a stay at home mom anyway id have divorced him too
It doesn't seem like you know the amount of work involved with maintaining a home and caring for one's children and partner on a full time basis. I have no doubt that you would do a great job being the stay-at-home parent, but your somewhat dismissive response tells me that you don't fully understand the reality of being on duty 24/7/365. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just don't want anyone to forget how much work it is to be a great stay-at-home parent. ✌️& 🫶 from 🇨🇦 & 🏳️🌈 Happy Pride! 🏳️🌈
I’m Gen X so I’m probably a little slow on the uptake but help me understand… is trad wife, some kind of new slur or what? Because I thought it was just a lifestyle
It has negative connotations for some people because it usually tacks on the Christian religious man is head of house and wives must submit junk to SAHM. If that is how both parties want their relationship to be it's not a negative. Depending on the husband's attitude, a tradwife might be just a bang maid to him. OP saw herself as an equal partner SAHM and is probably now wondering how hubby sees her.
It can depend on intent and delivery. Some men wants trad wifes because they see women as less than and beneath them. "A submissive, loyal woman who won't argue back and follows orders". It doesn't necessarily have to do with religion. One fun thing though, is that old trad wives were in charge of the finances. So while the husband brought back the money, the wife cashed in the checks, paid the bills, etc etc. Which is something a lot of men, not all, who wants a trad wife would never agree to (as they can't control her then)
Tradwife is a little less of a of live and let live and more of women should know their place. At least online. Housewife doesn't have that connotation or sahm. That's about consent. I'm just saying that's the online vibes. I'm not saying you aren't consenting. But the red pill groups see it subservience role, not a partnership. Financial abuse and cheating are higher risks. A lot of times religion is involved here but not necessary.
I've heard it be used as such. It really depends a lot on the delivery and intent. However many that use it, ie incels, do mean it in a bad way, as in a tradwife is just an object for them to own, control, and have fun with. She shouldn't have hee own views, opinions, and preferably just stay quiet and "listed to/obey her man"
There is nothing wrong with being a tradwife if that's what you want. But I had to look this term up because I wasn't sure what it was. There is a history of the word and they way it is usually used it is meant in a derogatory way. I prefer the term, housewife. Giving it some other term just makes it feel icky to me.
He exposed her to a bunch of red pill guys on the Internet to stroke his own ego. That's a safety violation along with the trust violation.
Final update he is cheating on her with a young coworker that introduce him to the redpill shit
she should call her and get both them fired or repermaneded
A funny thing about tradwives that the men who wants those don't know/understand/follow, is that historically, the wife took care of the household.
Simple right?
One thing that was included in her "duties" was the finances. Meaning that the wife paid the bills, cashed checks at the bank, etc.
So in a way, the wife held the control over the households money.
Which is something men who wants tradwives now simply do not want at all (because then they can't control her).
It’s nice to see a group of men that understand stuff like this! Really good and nuanced takes. I could see many other similar types of shows not take this as seriously as it is. Great show!
Tradwife isn't the same as a SAHM. Tradwife is more of forcing women into a role... SAHMs are necessarily tradwives. There is a whole political and white nationalist undertone with tradwives.
At the very least, he needs counseling to figure out how to get validation from himself and not a bunch of red-pill misogynists on social media. Then couples ' counseling.
I feel like this doesn't really need to be said, but I will anyway 😂
Not everything can be solved and/or worked out with therapy and/or couseling.
It's a nice sentiment, even though it's kind of naïve.
There's been plenty of stories on reddit where those didn't help at all, and in some cases made it worse.
Then you're looking at money lost and that can cause more anger/resentment.
Plus, some things aren't worth working it out. Not falling for the sunk cost falacy.
Also, there's a saying that's often used on reddit: "when someone tells/shows you who they are, believe them."
The husband has shown who he is, and what he thinks of OP. Therapy isn't going to change that. If anything, he'll learn how to hide it better.
She posted a final update - would love for you guys to react
How can I read the update?
At first I thought that; maybe she can give him a chance, because he was just being silly, or smth. But after hearing you guys input on it, especially the fact that everything on the internet stays forever, and "it's just perpetuating a stereotype.." the way he post it on specific forums, was factors I wasn't even thinking about! Which makes this situation much worse than I thought! I agree to either go to a couples therapy/counceling or getting a divorce. But to answer her question; no, she would't be an a-hole if she wanted a divorce. She has the right to divorce for any reason, but I think that we can all agree for ESPECIALLY this reason!
even though he deleted it, he must in some capacity still think of her that way. which is made all the worse by the fact that she didnt want to be a stay at home mom anyway id have divorced him too
It doesn't seem like you know the amount of work involved with maintaining a home and caring for one's children and partner on a full time basis. I have no doubt that you would do a great job being the stay-at-home parent, but your somewhat dismissive response tells me that you don't fully understand the reality of being on duty 24/7/365. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just don't want anyone to forget how much work it is to be a great stay-at-home parent.
✌️& 🫶 from 🇨🇦 & 🏳️🌈 Happy Pride! 🏳️🌈
I agree with the redaction post...the way-back machine is real.
I’m Gen X so I’m probably a little slow on the uptake but help me understand… is trad wife, some kind of new slur or what? Because I thought it was just a lifestyle
Not a slur, just a label that reinforces gender roles
It has negative connotations for some people because it usually tacks on the Christian religious man is head of house and wives must submit junk to SAHM. If that is how both parties want their relationship to be it's not a negative. Depending on the husband's attitude, a tradwife might be just a bang maid to him. OP saw herself as an equal partner SAHM and is probably now wondering how hubby sees her.
It can depend on intent and delivery.
Some men wants trad wifes because they see women as less than and beneath them. "A submissive, loyal woman who won't argue back and follows orders". It doesn't necessarily have to do with religion.
One fun thing though, is that old trad wives were in charge of the finances. So while the husband brought back the money, the wife cashed in the checks, paid the bills, etc etc.
Which is something a lot of men, not all, who wants a trad wife would never agree to (as they can't control her then)
Tradwife is a little less of a of live and let live and more of women should know their place. At least online. Housewife doesn't have that connotation or sahm. That's about consent. I'm just saying that's the online vibes. I'm not saying you aren't consenting. But the red pill groups see it subservience role, not a partnership. Financial abuse and cheating are higher risks. A lot of times religion is involved here but not necessary.
I’m a tradwife and I don’t see it as a derogatory term, I was genuinely shocked hearing that being said
I've heard it be used as such.
It really depends a lot on the delivery and intent.
However many that use it, ie incels, do mean it in a bad way, as in a tradwife is just an object for them to own, control, and have fun with. She shouldn't have hee own views, opinions, and preferably just stay quiet and "listed to/obey her man"
There is nothing wrong with being a tradwife if that's what you want. But I had to look this term up because I wasn't sure what it was. There is a history of the word and they way it is usually used it is meant in a derogatory way. I prefer the term, housewife. Giving it some other term just makes it feel icky to me.
Sadly, at least with the people that use it online, it is really taxing economically and on your mental Heath