If the wider group has decided that insanity is 'sane', then all the sane people will be judged as 'insane' by that same group. Go be you. It's so worth it.
Life got a lot more fun when I really stopped caring about seeming normal. I answer half of my girlfriend’s questions with “meow?”…in public. Now she meows at me. It’s fun.
The irony about being one or finding one is , they are so hidden and stuck in nooks and crannies and to find them you have to be one too, it makes them so isolated as well.
If you were not one you would not recognize them for who they are. You have to see life on the same wavelength and realize that everything about your life and their life is the result of cause and effect.
This whole essay, what is he even trying to say? It's the most generalized statement about a vague type of personality that you will not encounter exactly like described anyway
My office mate is such a person. The best gift life has gifted me. She has an extremely dark sense of humor, complains about her job, colleagues, and marriage every single day (and will tell you even the most embarrassing bit, like difficulty in the bedroom), yet is still a very very sweet and empathetic person. When I make mistakes, she'd be the best person to comfort me. When I experienced grief, she's the only person that can listen to my loss and cry with me. She gets through life with minimal hope, often expecting the worst to happen, but she's still very responsible and can find joy in some of her work. She has a lot of hobbies and never takes anything seriously. What a remarkable person. I do aspire to be more like her.
Hey, I have one too, but she left. She's an amazing person, and I think to say the most amazing person I've met is an understatement. We still keep in touch though, just not seeing her or talking to her on a daily basis, I won't lie, gets a bit hard because I don't get to meet great person like her mostly.
It takes a lot of personal development to get from being unaware to becoming hyper-aware, to letting go and just live. But to the untrained eye, the first and the last look the same.
I have found myself for the first time recently being hyper aware of the hows and whys of social relationships and life in general, I miss the nieve days when I didn't have anxious thoughts or thought about how others saw me but the growth and lessons come only after being hurt sometimes
Every time I meet a kind soul, I genuinely find it impossible to forget them. They stick around in my memory, occasionally popping up at unexpected times, never not making me smile, never not making my day better. God bless the lovely and kind. I love them ever so dearly.
Same. Some of them are no longer in my life, but I'll find myself occasionally telling someone about them. For no other reason than to let them know that this lovely person exists in the world, and for a time, I was lucky enough to have them in my life.❤
I used to be this kind soul, doing whatever I could to make strangers or otherwise smile everytime. until I grew up and realized that some people found it weird so I became painfully selective, wish I could go back to high school
Fortune is 99% of existence. Chance. Luck. Anyone who states otherwise simply hasn't realized that everything they have and everything they are was always based on randomness. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
@@Novastar.SaberCombat. I don’t disagree. But we must work hard, plan, save money, be responsible. In these ways, we create some of our own luck. It reminds me of the free will problem. Many top thinkers believe we don’t truly have free will. But, need to assume we do.
My old best friend was literally the best guy ever. He was actually the coolest person you could meet. The kinda guy that simply had the heart to not harm anyone. Than he took his own life. He kinda just absorbed all the bad things that happened to him and never gave any back. It's like him killing himself was the sacrafise he had to make instead of being like us. He just left in silence. Wish i had it in me to testify for him back then. You couldn't find a soul on earth that was ever harmed by that man.
I’m a therapist and I have a client just like this and I’m really worried that if he doesn’t stand up for himself he’ll be crushed by the weight of other people’s callousness
@LouisaWatt Well , I do really hope that you help him to see a new side of himself. Maybe a version of himself that doesn't need to respond like others. But responds with the rarest traits of man. You could show him charisma. Maybe help him become charasmatic. And give amd recieve positivity. I think that some people learn to become a bully to survive. Like most do. But charasmatic figures are almost like super heros. But to be charasmatic you have to be reserved first. Which is enduring those toxic offenses. I'm no therapist but this is what I wish I told my old friend. I saw such a incredible inherent value in him. But he didn't see it. Didn't believe it. He truly thought he was just not made for the world anymore. I believe that people who turn the other cheek should have high power cause they don't act in hate!! They act how they think things outta be.
I’ve tried to cheer people up. I knew a guy who was edging toward suicide by cop because he felt trapped by his job and marriage. I said bud, if you can do that, you can just buy a ticket to Hawaii and drink beers on the beach. Unfortunately he was probably depressed and tried the suicide by cop thing anyway, ended up in jail. I swear to god the news report included “the police attempted to taser the suspect, but he deflected the barbs with his machete,” which is one of the most bad ass things I’ve ever read in a crime report. I still think the beach would have felt better.
I also thought that phrase was very deep. when someone is in deep depression cheering them up could be highly damaging and hurtful. it could be really mean actually.
Once in school I had a friend try to sing a song about my beloved dog that passed away the day prior. It caused me a great deal of pain and my other friend almost broke the singing friends arm to get her to stfu and leave me alone as i grieve.
I try to be diplomatically realistic. If someone asks me their opinion of their outfit, and I think it's aesthetically displeasing, I would maybe say something like "I personally do not fancy your outfit but can see why people would consider it pleasing to the eye. The colors and textures clash to my fashionably unclined mind. Perhaps I'm a minority of such opinion, so take it for what it's worth."
Reminds me of Puppy and Kitty Therapy... I often go to the local puppy and kitty pet shop and imagine what they are thinking. They are all so horribly cute (I can't have a pet in my apartment). Puppy and Kitty Therapy kept me "sane" during the long COVID lockdown. Greetings from Japan.
This isn't meant to be a brag at all, but I'm simply so proud of the fact, that I learned to listen to people and to let them be just the way they are in that moment. It's only over the past couple of years I've come to realise that not a lot of people are actually able to do that, like most will try to get rid of your pain because they can hardly tolerate their own, or immediately go into their head and start problem solving on a practical level without acknowledging any of the feelings. I'm so glad it's a rare gift I can give to others, and that I've also found two friends who can do the same for me.
To each their own.. Most of the people I’ve had as friends were like this. And to be honest, in hindsight I don’t consider them to be good friends. No one stepped in to kindly let me know the man I was in a three year relationship was toxic. (They let me know after I left him.) They listened but no one gave advice or pointed out ways I could improve or that my boyfriends were horrible. I grew up with narcissists and didn’t have the social skills and tools that people with healthier upbringings have. I kind of resent all the listening and passivity, especially when I really needed to see or learn healthier perspectives in life. For this reason, I make sure to give to my new friends the way my previous friends didn’t.
i don't think you're being boastful in any way, i think it's amazing you're self aware! not a lot of people who can recognize their strengths as most tend to fixate on their weaknesses so kudos to you!
@@pennPi i think that the message the commenter sent didn't reach quite well, the people you're talking about is actually those who simply do not care and would not be bothered to make you feel better or differently. But, what the OC is saying is that they have learnt to stop being very bothered by others' problems trying to make them theirs and fixing them, but to just be a companion. I think that's what I got from that. Personally, I feel like not trying to do anything is not a good thing, i mean i get what you're trying to say when you say that such people cannot tolerate their own pain that they try to rid others' of their problems but I feel like one should never feel like what @pennPi felt. I think it's super hard to be an ideal companion when someone is in trouble because we always will do what feels right to us and not to the person, buttt i also understand that what felt right to us at the moment is exactly the right thing to do but it kinda makes things bad for the other person and my head is very unstable i guess😭
I don't think it's a brag, when you learnt something valuable about yourself and what you managed to cultivate in yourself :). I have experienced the same thing with myself actually. The last few years I wondered why random people start gravitating towards me, and start to be open about very private things, from joyfully to dark. I have talked to people about their depression who I knew only for 10 minutes. And I think it really is this rare trait to view people as they are in that moment, and be understanding for their situations like this. It took few years to learn that not everyone can and wants to try and understand others like this. That not everyone is capable to expend their minds bejond their own inner beliefs and disbeliefs about fellow humans. That's why so many people are alienated in our societies when they are "different". Because not everyone can grasp how different can be a good and natural thing. Many just live In fear and reject what they can't understand. To be fair my own vulnerability and hurt has helped me a great deal over the years to connect with other people, because I was not afraid to share it and be open. Which in conclusion tempts others to be open. And it's often times conversations over our pain and fear that can us feel connected on a very human level. So... be proud and glad that you are one of the peoplewho can connect to others like that :).
Same. I never really thought about this before, about how my way of being in the world could be of utility/comfort to someone else, for the very aspects that often leave me feeling bad about myself, because they're traits that are often viewed as negative.
There is another side to this story. Those people are always exploited, yet they never give up on their loved ones. It is difficult to be that person who gives everything knowing there is a huge void inside. They understand everyone, yet even their loved ones have great difficulty understanding them without judging. Their dark humor serves as a defense mechanism to show the world that they are broken inside, but they never give up on fixing the broken pieces. They are ridiculed, mocked, and looked down upon... Yet, even after everything, they remain the loveliest people in the world.
it's very true in my opinion that they get exploited, that's why self respect should come into play. Eventhough they might understand the prespective of the person that is taking advantage of them or using them, they still can identify the wrongdoings and draw a line or leave alltogether.
Being kind is not the same as allowing yourself to be exploited - these two things don't go hand in hand. If you've grown up being treated like your feelings don't matter , and that you only exist as a servant to others, you will likely continue to do this in adulthood. It may be a common pitfall for sensitive/kind/lovely people, but it is also our responsibility to treat ourselves with respect and compassion, aswell as others. This means only giving what you are comfortable with, and to not keeping on giving to people who refuse to understand you, and rarely if ever, give anything back. Nobody deserves to be ridiculed, mocked, looked down upon, or judged (people don't need to be judgemental- they just enjoy it). Being treated badly will happen occasionally, but if it is a regular occurrence from people in your life, it could be worth looking into how to value yourself more, and implement boundaries.
You forgot telling these people to be all they are but also have boundaries. As this person who has been this way all my life, I've only encountered people who took advantage of this. So yes, the loveliest people also deserve other lovely people not folks who use the fact that they understand everyone for granted and take advantage of them. Having these qualities is hard to stop having but then again, such is the world that one must ensure they are protected. Your loveliness doesn't guarantee safety. Be lovely, not naive
@@ZaKrakillaAnyone can be fooled by fake people. Lovely people can too. After discovering that someone has taken advantage of you, you can respond by putting up a boundary or by people pleasing.
@@ZaKrakilla I don't do things to please people, I do things for my own standards and way of being. That's why I mentioned boundaries. Just because you are an open hearted person, it doesn't make you immune to losers who try to bring others down with them. I cut them off the moment I see that. As with many things in life, it took me time and I am merely speaking my experience to others.
I don't tend to think much of myself. I'm not a very capable person, and I'm horribly powerless against the world around me. Even my kindness seems to poison those near me, and I'm too wimpy to stop them from taking advantage. So yeah. I tend to view myself rather lowly. But to see my traits lined up and treated like they're something to be praised... It makes my heart feel warm. Thank you for this video. It means a lot to me.
If you feel your kindness is being taken advantage of and you feel you can't say no, maybe it helps to direct your kindness towards people you think deserve it more? That way you'd have a good reason to be less kind to others and not help them if they just try to take advantage of you. Just a thought though, not sure if that makes sense for you or your circumstances. Also if that video warmed your heart, you are probably an amazing person.
@@IkeFoxbrush Well, I don't think so... I think every living thing is deserving of kindness. No one is more or less deserving in my mind. Some people are just in need of different kinds of kindness. I don't believe that there's actually such thing as people who are beyond help or redemption. I can't turn anyone away who needs anything from me. If it's just a want or desire, I can obviously refuse. I'm not that bad of a pushover, lol. But I've never been able to turn down anyone in need, even if they happen to hurt me or are horrible people. I've gotten used to being hurt, and I truly don't mind it! I think it's fine if I can still help. I try to play the game in return, manipulate back, but in a weird way. I nudge them towards healthy choices and thought patterns, try to unravel whatever has them all tangled up... No one wants to be a piece of shit. Everyone suffers, even if you can't see it. I won't deny someone my care simply on my own account. I'm a masochist, anyway. I can hurt if it means someone can heal, and I will take pride in every bit of pain. Sorry, I realize this is a bit of a different tune. I have a DID.
@@jazzycakes6294 Tbh, that sounds really unhealthy. For you, the people who make you hurt and are horrible persons, and everyone they affect. Maybe it came across differently than you meant it, but then I don't understand when you say that your kindness seems to poison those near you. While I agree that on some level, everyone is deserving of kindness, that doesn't mean every behavior is. If someone is acting shitty, it's perfectly fine for me if their needs aren't met at that moment, as a reaction to their behavior. Unless they are literally dying without my help, they can certainly go on without some of their needs met. I mean, there are nuances to bad behavior and how one can react, but at some point it's probably best to remove that person from your life and move on. I also think many so-called psychological disorders are mostly natural human reactions to unhealthy environments. The types of persons we surround ourselves with can have a tremendous effect on our mental health.
Anyone else come to this video hoping to be able to find the people to brighten up their lives, only to realize that you are in fact the loveliest people they are talking about in the video?
Life can beat the shit out of you, sometimes even steals all your shine, but how you treat others can be what reflects who you really are and how beautiful you can really be
“The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In love’s service only the wounded soldiers can serve.” Thornton Wilder
@@sobrevida157 I love that quote you shared, and I think the other person is misunderstanding it (though I too would welcome any clarification). To yours I would add this quote that I love from Emil Cioran in "The Trouble with Being Born": "Suffering opens our eyes, helps us to see what we would not have seen otherwise. Hence it is useful only to knowledge and, except for that, serves only to poison existence. Suffering improves no one, except those who were already good."
@@sobrevida157 Sorry for teh delay I only got your notification. *"The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. "* I am not saying your statement is the lie. But that this world is so upside down and backwards that any divine intervention to straighten this mess out is considered folly by the masses, *"In love’s service only the wounded soldiers can serve.”* We see this all the time that someone with good intentions is poo-pooed and ridiculed while those with evil intentions are elected to political office or promoted to he highest ranks of businesses and corporations. The truly sane of society get as far outside the sphere of social influence as is possible. We live in a time where this is painfully obvious like we see with the chaos in California and NYC yet the citizens keep electing these same people who created it problem expecting them to fix it.
Beautiful content as ever, SOL. Thank you. The loveliest people IMHO are those who are: 1. Fully present. 2. Unafraid to reveal their authentic selves. 3. Able to express gratitude, whatever the weather. Blessings. 🙏
As soon as you appear, people seem to dissapear around you, as they always try to change you, but you're like a fixed point in time, you have such a strong sense of purpose, that no matter what people say, it won't change you to be otherwise.
Despite the other comment, I get what you mean. Though I won't be so bold as to claim myself as a "lovely person", I understand what you're trying to say. People try to change you, mold you into something you're not but no matter what you stay stationary. You help and care for those arounds you, the glee of knowing you're capable of doing something then the melancholic feeling that comes with watching them go, with the strong feeling that you affected their life, hopefully for the better. You are a stationary point in a raging riptide, one of which for people to grab onto else be swept away. Often times people disregard you as driftwood, but the truly astute will know you as a person to value and rely on. You're also a solitary island in the middle of the ocean, where drifters and the detached come to rest for a moment, maybe try to the change you, but after a while leave much like all the rest. Though I feel I likely took your words out of context, that's my perception of them.
The whole moment I was reading and listening to the Loneliest people in the world. And then when I saw the final party banner with the Loveliest, I just shed a tear.
Thank you for validating me. I feel drained after being completely taken advantage of by a person I used to trust. This happened to me multiple times. But I won't stop giving people my care and kindness. I will keep being lovely.
“They combine a thorough misanthropy for the group with a deep love and tenderness for the individual” - that made me laugh out loud and may be the most accurate description for how I feel on a regular basis. Great video. Long live the lovely ones 👍🏼
This describes 90% of my gf and I couldnt be happier to find someone who is so cheery despite how bad of a hand life gave her and has helped me a lot understand myself and more importantly how to deal with people trying to take advantage of me. Its nice having someone that truly feels like they dont care what you have but what you are, never have I felt such a pure acceptance from someone.
I say this in the most loving and encouraging way possible - don't fuck it up, man! It's rare to find a partner as accepting as her. It's wonderful that you are indeed grateful, so make sure she knows how you feel! All the best to both of you ~
@@zeeinvest9473 Like pretty much any other friend striking small conversation but it was a bit hard for me because I was just really quiet most of the time. Now we cant shut up whenever were in company, took like a month for me to get chatty. Didnt really think itd develop into something especially when she called me her best friend but it just kind of happened.
This shook me. I've had to play it several times and I'm qurite certain that I'm not done with this one yet. It may be the strongest affirmation of a lifetime of work, to date. How unsettling to be seen this way.
I don’t know what kind of person I was expecting when I clicked on this, but I most certainly wasn’t prepared to hear such as a spot on description of me. Writing it that way feels vain, but I know I’m probably just shaming myself. I slowly started realizing as I listened, starting to hold my breath mid video and then by the end, I just bursted out crying. My childhood was filled disdain and shame perpetuated by my own family so I’m often left with thinking something is wrong with me for the way I think and feel about the world. Even my best friend of almost 20 years had no idea how bad my home life was until revealed later in a letter to my family. I’ve always been very aware I didn’t deserve my pain and it was derived from their inability to appropriate resolve their own traumas, but fortunate that I went through it instead of others because I thankfully knew how to step back and assess it for what it was even at a very young age (and certainly got in lots of trouble for my honest relay of observations). Now estranged from my family because I genuinely believe they will be happier without me and likewise, but I share a profound love and hope for them all the same. This video made me feel seen. Saving it for rainy days. The title is so incredibly kind, I feel unworthy. I hope it uplifts others as well! Anyone who can relate to my experience, please remember to be kind to yourself. Self-connection should be sought after, not avoided. You’re beautiful inside and out. ❤
I feel my ego tempting me so enticingly into thinking I am this person. Logically, I am able to understand that I currently am not. While I do have attributes of this person, yet, I must go through more hardship in order to become who I want and need to be.
Good news, guys, we also know how to get there. The secret is simple: an unimaginable amount of trauma and pain, a lifetime spent in a personal hell and a desperation so deep and terrifying that will force your brain to deconstruct and reconstruct reality multiple times, just to give a slight chance to survive. It only takes like 30 years of this meaningless and never-ending suffering but, at the end of it all, you'll be a good friend and partner. 5/5 stars, I will NOT do this s**t again...
Well, what do you know, looks like I have finally “arrived” then… I have come to realize a few things through pain endured: Great love only comes about through great suffering. Life is suffering, but it is also meant to be enjoyed to the full. Life is not fair, but it is good.
This is my boyfriend. I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I hope one day to treasure him as much as he deserves. He is such a gift to everyone in his life. He lights up a room just by simply being there and you can see in our friends eyes the joy this man brings. He has the most beautiful laugh you'll ever hear and makes the worst, darkest, most fucked up jokes sometimes and laughs his heart out at them as he's saying them. He groovy dances around in public when he's feeling happy and sings/screms (loudly) in the shower to his favourite punk or metal jams even tho we've got thin walls. This beautiful man listens like no one youve known before, and makes you feel comfortable and at ease, heard, instantly (even tho he's a big and sorta intimidating guy which makes the whole thing so funny if you actually think about it😂). He's sharp as fuck but annoyingly modest and bloody borderline imposter syndromy about it (and will hit you with smth like "nah mate I'm just a big dumb gorilla look i got re*ard strength 💪🏽" if you adress it). He's had such a tough life and has gone to proper trial by fire, had everything lost everything type of thing, and is still the most grounded, kindest gentle soul I know. It's like he's magic, quite frankly. I can't even find words to put it, but it's so cool that you guys did!! Truly the loveliest human in the world.
...where would these lovely people be? At home, locked away, out of view? Forever out of reach? There's no way to be with someone so pleasant, is there, they're all paired with people that don't truly love them. I can feel it.
Much like OfficeDuck said, these individuals are within plain sight. To the unaware they are simply another person, but if you manage to really get to know them and talk to them, you'll find the tender person within. They're all around you, wearing masks and presenting smiles, but within are truly a stellar person, unlike the rest. You likely know or knew a few of these people, but maybe never truly got to know them to know the lovely person beneath the surface.
If you want to try and be more like this, here's an example you can draw on that many can relate to If someone close to you dies and you're at the funeral, it would feel awful is someone was trying to cheer up the mood and encourage you to move on. In that moment you just need to sit in that dark place with those emotions of grief and loss and sorrow for a while and it's difficult alone. So instead of trying to pull you out The best thing that someone has done for me was climbing down a ladder into the hole and sitting with me for a while and just being around while i was travelling through the dark place on my own, letting me silently lean on their shoulder when i stumbled every now and again When someone you know is struggling and you want to help them, think about whether it's a good idea to try distract from the subject to try fix it, or if just confronting it and accepting their reality with them and exploring what that's like might be more appreciated. Usually you can pick up on which approach to take with context, but you can also mix them together. It comes with experience. I'm fortunate enough to have had a lot of practice through various avenues and it's probably the thing I'm most proud of myself for right now
I can honestly say this channel has helped me come out of my dark moments and live a meaningful life. Thank you to everyone who is working behind the scenes.
Thanks a lot for this, few times have i felt represented by things one could assume as "random statements", but these ones really represent me. I just gave up on impressing or caring about anyone that isn't me, gave up on the expected and common standards people have on "being succesful". As soon as i did change that mindset on my early 20's i've never been so in peace with who i'm and i know that i'm always having a healthy exchange and relation with everyone that surrounds me. My motto is "Hoy por tí, mañana por mí" (Today for you, tomorrow for me) and it is a total reality, the blessing may come in a week/month or even years ahead, but since changing that egotistical and self-centered mind i used to have i know i would always make rent, always have food and most importantly, always have good people next to me ! 🖤
i finally feel shouted out, thank you for this. i wish everyone in the world could understand everything like i do sometimes. everyone should be accepting and caring of each other, no matter their differences and circumstances
I dunno whether you described the _loveliest_ people in the world, but you certainly described the most _realized_ , and that's the kind of people we all need in our lives if we're going to grow.
Insanely profound video. Shocking, really. So much sadness, pain, and disappointment in our lives. It is good to come out the other side with self knowledge, self acceptance and self love, then share that with others. Thank you for this video.
I don't think I've ever felt my soul being read by a disembodied voice in a youtube video without feeling like I've been caught under a spotlight before. Whenever people talk about this, its always about why or what it means or how you can improve, but all of that misses me. I don't want to feel like there's something to improve about me. I might not like myself very much but I love being myself. Being the somebody who's always going to be here when everyone else is gone
I've known some very lovely people over the years. Some of them are no longer in my life, because the Universe sent us in different directions, but I'll find myself occasionally telling someone about them. For no other reason than to let somebody know that this lovely person exists in the world, and for a time, I was lucky enough to have them in my life.❤
absolutely. the video suggests that being jaded, depressed and traumatized is a requirement for being a "lovely" person. life has troubles, but it has its beauty. i think real "lovely" people recognize that and can hold both as equally true.
I was overjoyed when I was able to preempt 'tenderness for the individual'. I've really been trying so hard to keep it together lately and this video made me feel great. I think I'm getting a little closer every day but it's not easy.
Do we really want a world with more of such people? These 'loveliest people' have been through so much trauma for them to be so understanding and lovely, that maybe it would be for the best that we had less of them due to less suffering in the world.
Exactly my thought! Wishing for more lovely people like this seems like a very selfish thing now. On the other hand; the not so lovely people will likely be the ones that inflict the suffering in the first place. Which kind of makes me think that maybe in the end it must balance itself out, if there are too many horrible people then the next generation must as a consequence be lovely again. I'm just not sure if that's a comforting thought, really..
I disagree with anything that justifies trauma and dread. It’s like you’re justifying child abuse in order for a child to be kind. There are many ways to learn how to be lovely. It’s all about choice, which is something everyone has.
And then again, these people could probably exist without such trauma. The problem isn't the people, it is the world around them. The rest of us have to fix ourselves for their sake.
Most of these described me and made me feel these bad qualities of myself were to be grateful for and to be cherished, heartwarming, i think i needed that
This video made me feel less like an alien knowing that this is exactly me and others are the same. I embrace everyone from every angle, it just hurts when I am not given the same kindness and understanding
I can agree with this up to a certain point, but I do think it dives a little deeper into pessimism than is strictly accurate. It's okay to try and cheer people up sometimes, because sometimes the moment _does_ call for it (and often it does not). Case in point, my dad has a tremendous amount on his plate and is having trouble with his wife. A bad way of cheering him up would have been to tell him everything will be okay, it'll pass, it's not so bad, etc. What I did _instead_ was cook him a nice lunch, listen to him vent, and offer to take on a task for him that lets him go elk hunting like he wanted to. End result? He visibly felt much better, and thanked me for it.
Well damn... I've been binging your videos a bit today, and when I saw the title of this one, I immediately thought about my best friend who passed away unexpectedly in 2020 (not from covid, but she was 27 and undiagnosed liver cancer took her in her sleep). She was the kind of person who wasn't just a ray of sunshine, she was the entire star. Truly an angel and the kind of person who was grieved by people who only talked to her once or twice. When she passed, I was absolutely devastated. Her and I had a bond that I would describe surpassed friendship or family. She was my soulmate and she taught me so much about the light I have within myself. With every breath, I strive to be the kind of person she was. And watching this, I realized that I have grown to become one damn lovely person. Thank you, Tori. I pray that everyone has the chance to feel the warmth and grace of someone like you. And to the strangers who see this, I hope you find peace, love and grace for yourself and the world around you and become an example of what humanity can be.
That ending almost threw me off there! "These are the sort of people you want in a prison cell, or on the way to the scaffold" sounds so funny when it's isolated
I have to say that I´m definitely that kind of person. I was always the "loner" or the "weird kid" and I´ve accepted that. I never try to be "normal". I´ve lived through life´s hardships and luckily survived. I care about people and their feelings and not about if they think I´m "cool". If I sit down to talk with you I do it because I care about you as a person and not your money or fame or something I can use you for. I always try to understand you and your position to the best of my abilities. I´ve doubted the meaning of this world, life, death and my sanity many times over already and will almost definitely do it again. Thanks for reminding me that I´m not the only one, this is very appreciated.
Wow! I didn't expect a description of myself. 💔 However, I'm not sure about the last bit: "These are the kinds of people we need so many more of in our lives..." I'm actually quite miserable and depressed because the gap between my hopes and my experiences is so wide. Imho we should make the world a much better place so that we won't need to go through so much pain and our hopes will be fulfilled rather than crushed by harsh reality.
at least you've taken the important first step of measuring yourself up against your dreams and deriving hopes and current experience. Now that the ambiguous part is done, make a pragmatic path connecting them and make it work, somehow.
This video really speaks to me on a personal level. I've always been the person everyone comes to when they have things to offload off their minds. I'd listen, empathize, grieve with, cheer for, comfort and some times even go out of my way to show them the way forward. I struggle in spreading my heart too thin and caring too much for others that I usually find myself utterly exhausted when it comes to my own being. People often tell me I have a great life, partners told me they've never met anyone like me, but to me I felt stuck for so long. Cant keep a stable career, plans procrastinated, broken up with partners, living life on auto-pilot while feeling like people left me behind. The feeling of doing too much, but feeling so little is all too real for me. Then again, the bittersweet-ness of it all feels comforting somehow, as if seeing others happy makes me warm inside.
I'll never forget this older woman who made such an impression on me when I was 19- she was like the mother figure i desperately needed. She would take me in, like her eyes they were just so kind and she always smiled when she saw me and asked me questions about my day and myself and it felt like she genuinely was interested and gave pause for me to speak. One day she was rubbing my back while i was telling her about my classes and it was so soothing and healing - my mother never held me or if she touched me it was to hit me or correct me. I didn't know touch could be healing but it can. Some people are just kind and shine so bright that's all they know. We need those people, i needed her
This is an excellent little video. It puts into words what I learned to be true over the years. After 40 years of working, I have experienced some horribly toxic and abusive workplaces but I got through it all and came out the otherside stronger and wiser for it. Those lovely people are responsible for helping me to do that. I hope that some of what they had rubbed off on me.
If it really takes that much pain, suffering and unhappiness to become a truly lovely person, then I unfortunately cannot bring myself to wish for more such lovely people in the world 😢
Been through lots of family pain and afterwards craving desperately at least a healthy relationship/partner and then falling in love for the first time mid 20s in a broken and betrayed individual who couldn't show affection, shattered me completely or should i say the last few whole parts in me. Finally my heart too at the end of 2019 (no cheating whatsoever) i gave up on love somehow, still being with this person who improved and feels better now, which I'm grateful for while I'm just floating around now not knowing what to or being able to feel
To go through the hammermill of life and then recover stronger to do it all again takes time. Older people knows, seek out the moral ones and you have unlimited wisdom.
It is more. Exhausting people just don’t want to accept that life is also difficult. It’s the inconfortable truth we need to accept to live in joy and gratitude I think.
I mean, this is akin to the "road to enlightenment", getting free (not rid! free!) from " earthly desires" etc., this guy Buddha had some good insight... so long ago.
Before you can walk on the road to enlightenment you first have to awaken from seeing life through the filters of your mental disorders. Then to be aware of every moment you are experiencing instead of these moments triggering memories of the past where you will spend much of the time ruminating about them.
How do you not expect life as a whole to go right? According to this video, what doesn't make me 'lovely' is being optimistic that as a whole, things will go right, and I can find the 'right' through my perspective. I also find that there are appropriate times, after acknowledging pain, that there is a possibility things could turn out ok, and that can happen through constructive action. I've often found that holding hope for people and pointing out when they do have power for constructive action can actually cheer them, when the moment is right.
I think that this video describes more a content person rather than a happy one. Happiness can be subjective and hard to grasp but exudes out one. People around them can palpable it.
This is me to a T. Exactly....I never saw these as admirable qualities....but I'm feeling really seen and heard for once...Immense thank you. This means so much to me.
I am not trying to toot my own horn but this is a close description of myself. I want to mention that these characteristics are not often well recieved. There are times I have to backtrack and alter my language when I see the look of shock after I have casually expressed what seems to me an obvious truth.
My best tip for anyone reading me is this, don't take yourself as the biggest or latest shit, we're just the impressions we left on the others. 99% of people in the world DO take themselves really serious, having stuff like "pride" or "honor" as their biggest wire to sanity and that makes them really defensive for some reason, society is toxic af. But you can really dismantle that tough exterior by showing that you're completely fine of laughing at yourself, at the same time, that gives you a big shell from being mocked/bullied/stepped-on. When you're big enough to laugh at yourself, embrace "criticism" (i'm convinced every opinion i heard from a third party about me is constructive and i listen carefully) and overall just flow/don't get stuck with stuff that comes in the moment and usually is just people being stressed because most humans live fast and have 0 stress tolerance, you will succeed ! 🖤
Has anyone noticed the uprise of religious propaganda in the comments? To me this is an indication that people steadly lose hope in the modern way of living, and see no good future ahead. I feel that we're heading into another dark ages, with constant wars, religous superstitions, traditionalism, anti-intellectualism, all thanks to the current socio-economic systems failing the large portion of the population by not providing any room for growth.
You just described the history of the last 1000 years. My still living mother has commented many times in the past few years about how bad things are getting. She only knows about how bad things supposedly are from the particular media she consumes. Her life is quite comfortable.
Some people will never know what it's like to be real. They will never know the pain of others, and they will never care, because they don't love themselves.
They will realize someday since life is about growing with your imperfections and learning from your mistakes...We all grow in different phases since we all have different timelines on how we achieve our goals.Just like any type of plants,we all have different ways of growing and that doesn't mean there's no progress...They will realize someday how it feels to be real,if karma will start teaching them a lesson
I have suffered and i have hurt others badly, because of that i understand how horrible both experiences are, for every part. I really try to explain this to people who talks about hurting others ("Bad guys, abusers, monsters") that hurting others is not a good solution, for the toll it takes in your soul.
Who are the Loveliest People in the World? They’re not the famous ones or the respected ones, the worthy ones and the powerful ones. They are the ones who long ago shed their pride, who can tell you frankly how lonely and sad they are, who can face their self-hatred and accept their regrets. They aren’t just unhappy (there are plenty of boring and frightening ways to be that); they’ve come to an optimal perspective on their unhappiness. You could tell them about the strangest, oddest, most lamentable things about you and know that they understood it all at once from the inside. There are no follies around sex or status, love or money that they aren’t fully acquainted with. They want to get to the howl inside you because they are so familiar with the howl inside them. They aren’t remotely attached to seeming sane; they long ago ceased attempting to appear normal. They know that life is mostly pain, mystery and error - and will never try to persuade you otherwise. They will never be so mean as to try to cheer you up. They can be trusted because they have had the courage to fathom their full propensities to cowardice and corruption. They don’t give a jot about your reputation - because they know enough what people in general are like. They combine a thorough misanthropy for the group with a deep love and tenderness for the individual. They’ve been through their obsessions with love, public esteem, career triumph and positivism - and come out the other side. They let their humour get very dark, because the gap between their hopes and their experience is so wide. They’ve gone into the weirdest bits of themselves and will therefore understand the oddest bits of you. They don’t expect life as a whole to go right and, against a backdrop of despair, laugh with exceptional richness and glee. These are the sort of people you want in the prison cell or on the way to the scaffold, in the trenches or the bed next to you on the cancer ward. These are the kinds of people we need so many more of in our lives - and should try so hard to be for others.
Am really very lucky. My two adult children are outstanding and not far away.All I really have to do now is be good company- that is, optimistic and cheerful- The weather out there and the news are making things extra challenging, that’s all.
"I have come to recognise that being trustworthy does not demand that I be rigidly
consistent but that I be dependably real." - Carl R. Rogers.
real
Real
Real
Real
I stole this quote and commented it on their TikTok post so more people will see it because 🤌🏻👌🏻
“Don’t be particularly attached to appearing sane.” This is the permission slip I needed.
When you realize that everything about this world is upside down, backwards and is built on a big lie, fitting in is not sanity.
Agree with you! Good luck!
If the wider group has decided that insanity is 'sane', then all the sane people will be judged as 'insane' by that same group. Go be you. It's so worth it.
@@elonever.2.071 what do you think is the big lie?
Life got a lot more fun when I really stopped caring about seeming normal. I answer half of my girlfriend’s questions with “meow?”…in public. Now she meows at me. It’s fun.
The irony about being one or finding one is , they are so hidden and stuck in nooks and crannies and to find them you have to be one too, it makes them so isolated as well.
Wonderful point! They’re not the ones likely to walk around wearing sandwich boards proclaiming their inner gifts, are they? Beautifully said.
If you were not one you would not recognize them for who they are. You have to see life on the same wavelength and realize that everything about your life and their life is the result of cause and effect.
-because they are shunned by the image-obsessed masses.
This whole essay, what is he even trying to say? It's the most generalized statement about a vague type of personality that you will not encounter exactly like described anyway
@@m0-m0597
No judgement here but it is obvious you are not one of these people he is talking about.
My office mate is such a person. The best gift life has gifted me. She has an extremely dark sense of humor, complains about her job, colleagues, and marriage every single day (and will tell you even the most embarrassing bit, like difficulty in the bedroom), yet is still a very very sweet and empathetic person. When I make mistakes, she'd be the best person to comfort me. When I experienced grief, she's the only person that can listen to my loss and cry with me. She gets through life with minimal hope, often expecting the worst to happen, but she's still very responsible and can find joy in some of her work. She has a lot of hobbies and never takes anything seriously. What a remarkable person. I do aspire to be more like her.
Umm this person is very very similar to me 😂
Damn, wish I could meet her.
Me too, I wish I could meet the both of you cuz I'm also like that😉
Sounds like a deeply troubled person!!! Though with some good qualities
Hey, I have one too, but she left. She's an amazing person, and I think to say the most amazing person I've met is an understatement. We still keep in touch though, just not seeing her or talking to her on a daily basis, I won't lie, gets a bit hard because I don't get to meet great person like her mostly.
It takes a lot of personal development to get from being unaware to becoming hyper-aware, to letting go and just live.
But to the untrained eye, the first and the last look the same.
Great comment ! At one point the best personal development is actually letting go of personal development
I have found myself for the first time recently being hyper aware of the hows and whys of social relationships and life in general, I miss the nieve days when I didn't have anxious thoughts or thought about how others saw me but the growth and lessons come only after being hurt sometimes
So true.....
@@louiejackson2312 I know right. I’m in the hyper-aware stage and it’s hell.
This reminds me of the bell-curve meme and it’s so true.
I have always believed that experiencing suffering makes people nicer to others
It absolutely teaches empathy and sympathy.
suffering makes people nice or ruthless. it's just a matter of how they handled it and how they came on top of it.
@@laladieladadayou are right, I experience both feelings and pretty much debate myself almost everyday on how I should look at life.
@@redishdude me too. It’s a case by case basis for me
Careful now, suffering caused by other people due to foolish interests may result to apathy. Child abuse comes into mind.
Every time I meet a kind soul, I genuinely find it impossible to forget them. They stick around in my memory, occasionally popping up at unexpected times, never not making me smile, never not making my day better. God bless the lovely and kind. I love them ever so dearly.
Same. Some of them are no longer in my life, but I'll find myself occasionally telling someone about them. For no other reason than to let them know that this lovely person exists in the world, and for a time, I was lucky enough to have them in my life.❤
Yes, I feel kindness is sooo rare. I think I'm a good person but I want to be kinder.
I used to be this kind soul, doing whatever I could to make strangers or otherwise smile everytime. until I grew up and realized that some people found it weird so I became painfully selective, wish I could go back to high school
“They know that life is mostly pain, mystery, and error” was honestly such a banger of a line to drop.
Fortune is 99% of existence. Chance. Luck. Anyone who states otherwise simply hasn't realized that everything they have and everything they are was always based on randomness.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
@@Novastar.SaberCombat. I don’t disagree. But we must work hard, plan, save money, be responsible. In these ways, we create some of our own luck. It reminds me of the free will problem. Many top thinkers believe we don’t truly have free will. But, need to assume we do.
@@learningisfun2108is is the Dutch who say: you make your plans.... and god laughs...
Except it's not accurate in the slightest. Pessimistic, misanthropic claptrap.
My old best friend was literally the best guy ever. He was actually the coolest person you could meet. The kinda guy that simply had the heart to not harm anyone. Than he took his own life. He kinda just absorbed all the bad things that happened to him and never gave any back. It's like him killing himself was the sacrafise he had to make instead of being like us. He just left in silence. Wish i had it in me to testify for him back then. You couldn't find a soul on earth that was ever harmed by that man.
Im sorry for your lost, i hope he's happier now in the better place 😢❤
Heartbreaking. I am sorry for your loss and sorry your old best friend couldn’t find peace in living. So tragic.
This too was my old best friend. He took his life in 1995.
I’m a therapist and I have a client just like this and I’m really worried that if he doesn’t stand up for himself he’ll be crushed by the weight of other people’s callousness
@LouisaWatt Well , I do really hope that you help him to see a new side of himself. Maybe a version of himself that doesn't need to respond like others. But responds with the rarest traits of man. You could show him charisma. Maybe help him become charasmatic. And give amd recieve positivity. I think that some people learn to become a bully to survive. Like most do. But charasmatic figures are almost like super heros. But to be charasmatic you have to be reserved first. Which is enduring those toxic offenses. I'm no therapist but this is what I wish I told my old friend. I saw such a incredible inherent value in him. But he didn't see it. Didn't believe it. He truly thought he was just not made for the world anymore. I believe that people who turn the other cheek should have high power cause they don't act in hate!! They act how they think things outta be.
"...they would never be so mean as to try to cheer you up" -- YES
I’ve tried to cheer people up. I knew a guy who was edging toward suicide by cop because he felt trapped by his job and marriage. I said bud, if you can do that, you can just buy a ticket to Hawaii and drink beers on the beach.
Unfortunately he was probably depressed and tried the suicide by cop thing anyway, ended up in jail. I swear to god the news report included “the police attempted to taser the suspect, but he deflected the barbs with his machete,” which is one of the most bad ass things I’ve ever read in a crime report.
I still think the beach would have felt better.
I also thought that phrase was very deep.
when someone is in deep depression cheering them up could be highly damaging and hurtful. it could be really mean actually.
👏👏👏👏👏
Once in school I had a friend try to sing a song about my beloved dog that passed away the day prior. It caused me a great deal of pain and my other friend almost broke the singing friends arm to get her to stfu and leave me alone as i grieve.
I try to be diplomatically realistic. If someone asks me their opinion of their outfit, and I think it's aesthetically displeasing, I would maybe say something like "I personally do not fancy your outfit but can see why people would consider it pleasing to the eye. The colors and textures clash to my fashionably unclined mind. Perhaps I'm a minority of such opinion, so take it for what it's worth."
these are also the kind of people who stay silent for most of their lives, and leave this madness gently, without a chance to get to know them
Popularity and publicity are rarely functions of enlightenment.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
&Kinan300BC that was my father, a tortured soul but such a beautiful person.
I need an entire animated series about this adorable puppy’s daily thoughts.
I just about fell of the toilet while reading this. Thanks for the laugh.
Sheep in the big city comes to mind 😂
There is a channel vagely similar to this called Tofupupper
😂😂😂
Reminds me of Puppy and Kitty Therapy... I often go to the local puppy and kitty pet shop and imagine what they are thinking. They are all so horribly cute (I can't have a pet in my apartment). Puppy and Kitty Therapy kept me "sane" during the long COVID lockdown.
Greetings from Japan.
This isn't meant to be a brag at all, but I'm simply so proud of the fact, that I learned to listen to people and to let them be just the way they are in that moment. It's only over the past couple of years I've come to realise that not a lot of people are actually able to do that, like most will try to get rid of your pain because they can hardly tolerate their own, or immediately go into their head and start problem solving on a practical level without acknowledging any of the feelings. I'm so glad it's a rare gift I can give to others, and that I've also found two friends who can do the same for me.
To each their own.. Most of the people I’ve had as friends were like this. And to be honest, in hindsight I don’t consider them to be good friends. No one stepped in to kindly let me know the man I was in a three year relationship was toxic. (They let me know after I left him.) They listened but no one gave advice or pointed out ways I could improve or that my boyfriends were horrible. I grew up with narcissists and didn’t have the social skills and tools that people with healthier upbringings have. I kind of resent all the listening and passivity, especially when I really needed to see or learn healthier perspectives in life. For this reason, I make sure to give to my new friends the way my previous friends didn’t.
@@pennPi Yes exactly I think you need both. It can be tricky though so I think it's best to ask and just test the waters and see how they react
i don't think you're being boastful in any way, i think it's amazing you're self aware! not a lot of people who can recognize their strengths as most tend to fixate on their weaknesses so kudos to you!
@@pennPi i think that the message the commenter sent didn't reach quite well, the people you're talking about is actually those who simply do not care and would not be bothered to make you feel better or differently. But, what the OC is saying is that they have learnt to stop being very bothered by others' problems trying to make them theirs and fixing them, but to just be a companion. I think that's what I got from that.
Personally, I feel like not trying to do anything is not a good thing, i mean i get what you're trying to say when you say that such people cannot tolerate their own pain that they try to rid others' of their problems but I feel like one should never feel like what @pennPi felt. I think it's super hard to be an ideal companion when someone is in trouble because we always will do what feels right to us and not to the person, buttt i also understand that what felt right to us at the moment is exactly the right thing to do but it kinda makes things bad for the other person and my head is very unstable i guess😭
I don't think it's a brag, when you learnt something valuable about yourself and what you managed to cultivate in yourself :). I have experienced the same thing with myself actually. The last few years I wondered why random people start gravitating towards me, and start to be open about very private things, from joyfully to dark. I have talked to people about their depression who I knew only for 10 minutes. And I think it really is this rare trait to view people as they are in that moment, and be understanding for their situations like this. It took few years to learn that not everyone can and wants to try and understand others like this. That not everyone is capable to expend their minds bejond their own inner beliefs and disbeliefs about fellow humans. That's why so many people are alienated in our societies when they are "different". Because not everyone can grasp how different can be a good and natural thing. Many just live In fear and reject what they can't understand.
To be fair my own vulnerability and hurt has helped me a great deal over the years to connect with other people, because I was not afraid to share it and be open. Which in conclusion tempts others to be open. And it's often times conversations over our pain and fear that can us feel connected on a very human level. So... be proud and glad that you are one of the peoplewho can connect to others like that :).
The loveliest people I know do try to cheer me up, just not in a way that dismisses my suffering
good point... acceptance and presence also helps.
Didn't know accepting my depression could make me so lovely 🙂
Same. I never really thought about this before, about how my way of being in the world could be of utility/comfort to someone else, for the very aspects that often leave me feeling bad about myself, because they're traits that are often viewed as negative.
The deepest despair, can teach you to love life.
Recognizing life for what it is isn’t “depression.”
Well, you are lovely, so deal with it. Can't get a refund.
❤
Good luck
You're actually describing my dog. I'll take notes and try to be more like him.
Are you going to add to the notes that he enjoys eating raw meat? Are you going to do that too?
@@bootscooty what 😭
@@bootscooty U never tried sushi?
There is another side to this story. Those people are always exploited, yet they never give up on their loved ones. It is difficult to be that person who gives everything knowing there is a huge void inside. They understand everyone, yet even their loved ones have great difficulty understanding them without judging. Their dark humor serves as a defense mechanism to show the world that they are broken inside, but they never give up on fixing the broken pieces. They are ridiculed, mocked, and looked down upon... Yet, even after everything, they remain the loveliest people in the world.
Real
That person must build walls!
Being lovely and the ability to draw your own red lines do not exclude each other
it's very true in my opinion that they get exploited, that's why self respect should come into play. Eventhough they might understand the prespective of the person that is taking advantage of them or using them, they still can identify the wrongdoings and draw a line or leave alltogether.
Being kind is not the same as allowing yourself to be exploited - these two things don't go hand in hand. If you've grown up being treated like your feelings don't matter , and that you only exist as a servant to others, you will likely continue to do this in adulthood. It may be a common pitfall for sensitive/kind/lovely people, but it is also our responsibility to treat ourselves with respect and compassion, aswell as others. This means only giving what you are comfortable with, and to not keeping on giving to people who refuse to understand you, and rarely if ever, give anything back.
Nobody deserves to be ridiculed, mocked, looked down upon, or judged (people don't need to be judgemental- they just enjoy it). Being treated badly will happen occasionally, but if it is a regular occurrence from people in your life, it could be worth looking into how to value yourself more, and implement boundaries.
You forgot telling these people to be all they are but also have boundaries. As this person who has been this way all my life, I've only encountered people who took advantage of this. So yes, the loveliest people also deserve other lovely people not folks who use the fact that they understand everyone for granted and take advantage of them. Having these qualities is hard to stop having but then again, such is the world that one must ensure they are protected. Your loveliness doesn't guarantee safety. Be lovely, not naive
@@ZaKrakillaAnyone can be fooled by fake people. Lovely people can too.
After discovering that someone has taken advantage of you, you can respond by putting up a boundary or by people pleasing.
Agreed.
@@ZaKrakilla I don't do things to please people, I do things for my own standards and way of being. That's why I mentioned boundaries. Just because you are an open hearted person, it doesn't make you immune to losers who try to bring others down with them. I cut them off the moment I see that. As with many things in life, it took me time and I am merely speaking my experience to others.
@@ZaKrakilla Literally anyone can be manipulated and if anyone thinks they can't be, they're the easiest target in the right circumstance.
@@lavender9038 At some point you will even be able to love the losers without being taken advantage of.
I don't tend to think much of myself. I'm not a very capable person, and I'm horribly powerless against the world around me. Even my kindness seems to poison those near me, and I'm too wimpy to stop them from taking advantage.
So yeah. I tend to view myself rather lowly.
But to see my traits lined up and treated like they're something to be praised... It makes my heart feel warm. Thank you for this video. It means a lot to me.
You deserved to hear it & for once to feel seen for the rewarding person you are. Truly.
Isnt it lovely to hear it?
If you feel your kindness is being taken advantage of and you feel you can't say no, maybe it helps to direct your kindness towards people you think deserve it more? That way you'd have a good reason to be less kind to others and not help them if they just try to take advantage of you. Just a thought though, not sure if that makes sense for you or your circumstances.
Also if that video warmed your heart, you are probably an amazing person.
@@IkeFoxbrush Well, I don't think so... I think every living thing is deserving of kindness. No one is more or less deserving in my mind. Some people are just in need of different kinds of kindness.
I don't believe that there's actually such thing as people who are beyond help or redemption. I can't turn anyone away who needs anything from me. If it's just a want or desire, I can obviously refuse. I'm not that bad of a pushover, lol. But I've never been able to turn down anyone in need, even if they happen to hurt me or are horrible people.
I've gotten used to being hurt, and I truly don't mind it! I think it's fine if I can still help. I try to play the game in return, manipulate back, but in a weird way. I nudge them towards healthy choices and thought patterns, try to unravel whatever has them all tangled up...
No one wants to be a piece of shit. Everyone suffers, even if you can't see it. I won't deny someone my care simply on my own account. I'm a masochist, anyway. I can hurt if it means someone can heal, and I will take pride in every bit of pain.
Sorry, I realize this is a bit of a different tune. I have a DID.
@@jazzycakes6294 Tbh, that sounds really unhealthy. For you, the people who make you hurt and are horrible persons, and everyone they affect.
Maybe it came across differently than you meant it, but then I don't understand when you say that your kindness seems to poison those near you.
While I agree that on some level, everyone is deserving of kindness, that doesn't mean every behavior is. If someone is acting shitty, it's perfectly fine for me if their needs aren't met at that moment, as a reaction to their behavior. Unless they are literally dying without my help, they can certainly go on without some of their needs met.
I mean, there are nuances to bad behavior and how one can react, but at some point it's probably best to remove that person from your life and move on.
I also think many so-called psychological disorders are mostly natural human reactions to unhealthy environments. The types of persons we surround ourselves with can have a tremendous effect on our mental health.
Anyone else come to this video hoping to be able to find the people to brighten up their lives, only to realize that you are in fact the loveliest people they are talking about in the video?
Thank you ❤
🖐
But it gives no bonus...
❤
✨YES
“Against a backdrop of despair, they can laugh with exceptional richness and glee.”❤❤❤
Life can beat the shit out of you, sometimes even steals all your shine, but how you treat others can be what reflects who you really are and how beautiful you can really be
“The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In love’s service only the wounded soldiers can serve.” Thornton Wilder
And that sir is the big lie that most people live every day.
@@elonever.2.071 sorry, I don’t understand. Could you say more?
@@sobrevida157 I love that quote you shared, and I think the other person is misunderstanding it (though I too would welcome any clarification).
To yours I would add this quote that I love from Emil Cioran in "The Trouble with Being Born":
"Suffering opens our eyes, helps us to see what we would not have seen otherwise. Hence it is useful only to knowledge and, except for that, serves only to poison existence. Suffering improves no one, except those who were already good."
Wow this quote is beautiful and underrated! Thank you for sharing!
@@sobrevida157
Sorry for teh delay I only got your notification.
*"The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. "*
I am not saying your statement is the lie. But that this world is so upside down and backwards that any divine intervention to straighten this mess out is considered folly by the masses,
*"In love’s service only the wounded soldiers can serve.”*
We see this all the time that someone with good intentions is poo-pooed and ridiculed while those with evil intentions are elected to political office or promoted to he highest ranks of businesses and corporations. The truly sane of society get as far outside the sphere of social influence as is possible. We live in a time where this is painfully obvious like we see with the chaos in California and NYC yet the citizens keep electing these same people who created it problem expecting them to fix it.
And very often these are people rendered irrelevant and alone.
Unfortunately, true.
nice people are easy to discard. they wont cause troubles so you don't have to fear their reaction.
They need someone to fight for them, cause no one else will. They make things better, but won't stay if you don't keep them around.
Beautiful content as ever, SOL. Thank you.
The loveliest people IMHO are those who are:
1. Fully present.
2. Unafraid to reveal their authentic selves.
3. Able to express gratitude, whatever the weather.
Blessings.
🙏
And they accept you for where you are on your journey as long as you are facing in the correct direction.
And then the people see the real you and play you.
@@Aleyah Yes, some do. Take that chance anyway. The payoff can be wonderful. But you have to learn to gauge your vulnerability.
As soon as you appear, people seem to dissapear around you, as they always try to change you, but you're like a fixed point in time, you have such a strong sense of purpose, that no matter what people say, it won't change you to be otherwise.
That sounds an awful lot like narcissism
Despite the other comment, I get what you mean.
Though I won't be so bold as to claim myself as a "lovely person", I understand what you're trying to say. People try to change you, mold you into something you're not but no matter what you stay stationary. You help and care for those arounds you, the glee of knowing you're capable of doing something then the melancholic feeling that comes with watching them go, with the strong feeling that you affected their life, hopefully for the better.
You are a stationary point in a raging riptide, one of which for people to grab onto else be swept away. Often times people disregard you as driftwood, but the truly astute will know you as a person to value and rely on. You're also a solitary island in the middle of the ocean, where drifters and the detached come to rest for a moment, maybe try to the change you, but after a while leave much like all the rest.
Though I feel I likely took your words out of context, that's my perception of them.
The whole moment I was reading and listening to the Loneliest people in the world. And then when I saw the final party banner with the Loveliest, I just shed a tear.
Misanthropy for the group, and a deep love for the individual. Bingo.
Reminds me of a funny little interview excerpt of George Carlin I once watched. It was exactly on this topic :D
@@goodToBeLost Yeah, it was with Jon Stewart, in the 90s. Great interview.
I went through absolute hell and came out happy. I was bound and determined to figure out how to be happy and I did it !!
It felt like a complement and a personal attack at the same time
Are you a little bit insecure with who you are?
I felt validated and seen, but I did not feel attacked in the slightest.
Thank you for validating me. I feel drained after being completely taken advantage of by a person I used to trust. This happened to me multiple times. But I won't stop giving people my care and kindness. I will keep being lovely.
“They combine a thorough misanthropy for the group with a deep love and tenderness for the individual” - that made me laugh out loud and may be the most accurate description for how I feel on a regular basis. Great video. Long live the lovely ones 👍🏼
Yeah that got me too.
This describes 90% of my gf and I couldnt be happier to find someone who is so cheery despite how bad of a hand life gave her and has helped me a lot understand myself and more importantly how to deal with people trying to take advantage of me. Its nice having someone that truly feels like they dont care what you have but what you are, never have I felt such a pure acceptance from someone.
I say this in the most loving and encouraging way possible - don't fuck it up, man!
It's rare to find a partner as accepting as her. It's wonderful that you are indeed grateful, so make sure she knows how you feel! All the best to both of you ~
@Gatorssbm how did you meet her, mate?
@@zeeinvest9473 Like pretty much any other friend striking small conversation but it was a bit hard for me because I was just really quiet most of the time. Now we cant shut up whenever were in company, took like a month for me to get chatty. Didnt really think itd develop into something especially when she called me her best friend but it just kind of happened.
This shook me. I've had to play it several times and I'm qurite certain that I'm not done with this one yet. It may be the strongest affirmation of a lifetime of work, to date. How unsettling to be seen this way.
😴
@@UmbertoDavidPanda indeed.
I don’t know what kind of person I was expecting when I clicked on this, but I most certainly wasn’t prepared to hear such as a spot on description of me. Writing it that way feels vain, but I know I’m probably just shaming myself. I slowly started realizing as I listened, starting to hold my breath mid video and then by the end, I just bursted out crying.
My childhood was filled disdain and shame perpetuated by my own family so I’m often left with thinking something is wrong with me for the way I think and feel about the world. Even my best friend of almost 20 years had no idea how bad my home life was until revealed later in a letter to my family. I’ve always been very aware I didn’t deserve my pain and it was derived from their inability to appropriate resolve their own traumas, but fortunate that I went through it instead of others because I thankfully knew how to step back and assess it for what it was even at a very young age (and certainly got in lots of trouble for my honest relay of observations). Now estranged from my family because I genuinely believe they will be happier without me and likewise, but I share a profound love and hope for them all the same.
This video made me feel seen. Saving it for rainy days. The title is so incredibly kind, I feel unworthy. I hope it uplifts others as well!
Anyone who can relate to my experience, please remember to be kind to yourself. Self-connection should be sought after, not avoided. You’re beautiful inside and out. ❤
What a beautiful comment. Always be proud of your kindness!
I feel my ego tempting me so enticingly into thinking I am this person. Logically, I am able to understand that I currently am not.
While I do have attributes of this person, yet, I must go through more hardship in order to become who I want and need to be.
I don't think I'm funny, but some people say I am. So do we know who we are?
A lot of times we don't know who we are because we don't fully understand our own nature@@lucassaba9121
you dont need to go through more hardships, just letting it be and accepting your imperfections will make you the loveliest person
Good news, guys, we also know how to get there. The secret is simple: an unimaginable amount of trauma and pain, a lifetime spent in a personal hell and a desperation so deep and terrifying that will force your brain to deconstruct and reconstruct reality multiple times, just to give a slight chance to survive. It only takes like 30 years of this meaningless and never-ending suffering but, at the end of it all, you'll be a good friend and partner. 5/5 stars, I will NOT do this s**t again...
Or you can talk, empathize and learn from other people's mistakes.
Thank Dog that once it is over, it will be well and truly over.
@@lucassaba9121 the deaf, when they see people dancing, they think they are crazy... you are missing the point by light years, here...
eloquently put.
Well, what do you know, looks like I have finally “arrived” then… I have come to realize a few things through pain endured: Great love only comes about through great suffering. Life is suffering, but it is also meant to be enjoyed to the full. Life is not fair, but it is good.
This is my boyfriend. I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I hope one day to treasure him as much as he deserves. He is such a gift to everyone in his life. He lights up a room just by simply being there and you can see in our friends eyes the joy this man brings. He has the most beautiful laugh you'll ever hear and makes the worst, darkest, most fucked up jokes sometimes and laughs his heart out at them as he's saying them. He groovy dances around in public when he's feeling happy and sings/screms (loudly) in the shower to his favourite punk or metal jams even tho we've got thin walls. This beautiful man listens like no one youve known before, and makes you feel comfortable and at ease, heard, instantly (even tho he's a big and sorta intimidating guy which makes the whole thing so funny if you actually think about it😂). He's sharp as fuck but annoyingly modest and bloody borderline imposter syndromy about it (and will hit you with smth like "nah mate I'm just a big dumb gorilla look i got re*ard strength 💪🏽" if you adress it).
He's had such a tough life and has gone to proper trial by fire, had everything lost everything type of thing, and is still the most grounded, kindest gentle soul I know. It's like he's magic, quite frankly. I can't even find words to put it, but it's so cool that you guys did!! Truly the loveliest human in the world.
Hello
@@nolife8051 hi sweetie💜
thank you for sharing! ❤️
Show him your comment:)
...where would these lovely people be? At home, locked away, out of view? Forever out of reach? There's no way to be with someone so pleasant, is there, they're all paired with people that don't truly love them. I can feel it.
Fragments tucked away in people you see everyday, thats where they are
You are absolutely right.
Much like OfficeDuck said, these individuals are within plain sight. To the unaware they are simply another person, but if you manage to really get to know them and talk to them, you'll find the tender person within. They're all around you, wearing masks and presenting smiles, but within are truly a stellar person, unlike the rest.
You likely know or knew a few of these people, but maybe never truly got to know them to know the lovely person beneath the surface.
The loveliest people made this video 🥺
If you want to try and be more like this, here's an example you can draw on that many can relate to
If someone close to you dies and you're at the funeral, it would feel awful is someone was trying to cheer up the mood and encourage you to move on. In that moment you just need to sit in that dark place with those emotions of grief and loss and sorrow for a while and it's difficult alone. So instead of trying to pull you out
The best thing that someone has done for me was climbing down a ladder into the hole and sitting with me for a while and just being around while i was travelling through the dark place on my own, letting me silently lean on their shoulder when i stumbled every now and again
When someone you know is struggling and you want to help them, think about whether it's a good idea to try distract from the subject to try fix it, or if just confronting it and accepting their reality with them and exploring what that's like might be more appreciated. Usually you can pick up on which approach to take with context, but you can also mix them together. It comes with experience. I'm fortunate enough to have had a lot of practice through various avenues and it's probably the thing I'm most proud of myself for right now
I can honestly say this channel has helped me come out of my dark moments and live a meaningful life. Thank you to everyone who is working behind the scenes.
Thanks a lot for this, few times have i felt represented by things one could assume as "random statements", but these ones really represent me. I just gave up on impressing or caring about anyone that isn't me, gave up on the expected and common standards people have on "being succesful". As soon as i did change that mindset on my early 20's i've never been so in peace with who i'm and i know that i'm always having a healthy exchange and relation with everyone that surrounds me.
My motto is "Hoy por tí, mañana por mí" (Today for you, tomorrow for me) and it is a total reality, the blessing may come in a week/month or even years ahead, but since changing that egotistical and self-centered mind i used to have i know i would always make rent, always have food and most importantly, always have good people next to me ! 🖤
i finally feel shouted out, thank you for this. i wish everyone in the world could understand everything like i do sometimes. everyone should be accepting and caring of each other, no matter their differences and circumstances
I dunno whether you described the _loveliest_ people in the world, but you certainly described the most _realized_ , and that's the kind of people we all need in our lives if we're going to grow.
Ufff, good thought right here. Ain't happening tho lol
Insanely profound video. Shocking, really. So much sadness, pain, and disappointment in our lives. It is good to come out the other side with self knowledge, self acceptance and self love, then share that with others. Thank you for this video.
I don't think I've ever felt my soul being read by a disembodied voice in a youtube video without feeling like I've been caught under a spotlight before. Whenever people talk about this, its always about why or what it means or how you can improve, but all of that misses me. I don't want to feel like there's something to improve about me. I might not like myself very much but I love being myself. Being the somebody who's always going to be here when everyone else is gone
I've known some very lovely people over the years. Some of them are no longer in my life, because the Universe sent us in different directions, but I'll find myself occasionally telling someone about them. For no other reason than to let somebody know that this lovely person exists in the world, and for a time, I was lucky enough to have them in my life.❤
“Life is mostly pain, mystery, and error.” is a very tempting and depressing outlook. I couldn’t disagree with that message more ❤
Don’t be mean and try to cheer us up
absolutely. the video suggests that being jaded, depressed and traumatized is a requirement for being a "lovely" person. life has troubles, but it has its beauty. i think real "lovely" people recognize that and can hold both as equally true.
Life is what you make of it
Totally agree. This is one version of what a lovely person can represent, but this bleak outlook is hardly a prerequisite to being lovely.
I was overjoyed when I was able to preempt 'tenderness for the individual'. I've really been trying so hard to keep it together lately and this video made me feel great. I think I'm getting a little closer every day but it's not easy.
Do we really want a world with more of such people? These 'loveliest people' have been through so much trauma for them to be so understanding and lovely, that maybe it would be for the best that we had less of them due to less suffering in the world.
Exactly my thought! Wishing for more lovely people like this seems like a very selfish thing now. On the other hand; the not so lovely people will likely be the ones that inflict the suffering in the first place.
Which kind of makes me think that maybe in the end it must balance itself out, if there are too many horrible people then the next generation must as a consequence be lovely again.
I'm just not sure if that's a comforting thought, really..
@@FemkevanDroogeplus, there is no guarantee that going through such hardships and trauma will make you one of these lovely people in the end.
I can't relate to this message at all. No wonder I prefer to be alone.
I disagree with anything that justifies trauma and dread. It’s like you’re justifying child abuse in order for a child to be kind. There are many ways to learn how to be lovely. It’s all about choice, which is something everyone has.
And then again, these people could probably exist without such trauma. The problem isn't the people, it is the world around them. The rest of us have to fix ourselves for their sake.
Most of these described me and made me feel these bad qualities of myself were to be grateful for and to be cherished, heartwarming, i think i needed that
Now I m feeling good about myself
Me too ❤
This video made me feel less like an alien knowing that this is exactly me and others are the same. I embrace everyone from every angle, it just hurts when I am not given the same kindness and understanding
Answer: they watch School of Life
But we feel we r mentally damaged
This is just the author's perspective on 'lovely people'. His subjective opinion.
Awwwww ❤
@@nandinirm2234 I'm mentally challenged.
If I could, I would cry. I think we all are lovely. Just time can tell the truth.
I can agree with this up to a certain point, but I do think it dives a little deeper into pessimism than is strictly accurate. It's okay to try and cheer people up sometimes, because sometimes the moment _does_ call for it (and often it does not).
Case in point, my dad has a tremendous amount on his plate and is having trouble with his wife. A bad way of cheering him up would have been to tell him everything will be okay, it'll pass, it's not so bad, etc. What I did _instead_ was cook him a nice lunch, listen to him vent, and offer to take on a task for him that lets him go elk hunting like he wanted to. End result? He visibly felt much better, and thanked me for it.
Well damn... I've been binging your videos a bit today, and when I saw the title of this one, I immediately thought about my best friend who passed away unexpectedly in 2020 (not from covid, but she was 27 and undiagnosed liver cancer took her in her sleep). She was the kind of person who wasn't just a ray of sunshine, she was the entire star. Truly an angel and the kind of person who was grieved by people who only talked to her once or twice. When she passed, I was absolutely devastated. Her and I had a bond that I would describe surpassed friendship or family. She was my soulmate and she taught me so much about the light I have within myself. With every breath, I strive to be the kind of person she was. And watching this, I realized that I have grown to become one damn lovely person.
Thank you, Tori. I pray that everyone has the chance to feel the warmth and grace of someone like you.
And to the strangers who see this, I hope you find peace, love and grace for yourself and the world around you and become an example of what humanity can be.
That ending almost threw me off there! "These are the sort of people you want in a prison cell, or on the way to the scaffold" sounds so funny when it's isolated
I have to say that I´m definitely that kind of person. I was always the "loner" or the "weird kid" and I´ve accepted that. I never try to be "normal". I´ve lived through life´s hardships and luckily survived. I care about people and their feelings and not about if they think I´m "cool". If I sit down to talk with you I do it because I care about you as a person and not your money or fame or something I can use you for. I always try to understand you and your position to the best of my abilities. I´ve doubted the meaning of this world, life, death and my sanity many times over already and will almost definitely do it again.
Thanks for reminding me that I´m not the only one, this is very appreciated.
This narrator’s voice always gives me so much freaking hope ❤
I know someone like this and I feel so fortunate because of it.
I love love love love this one a lot!!! It makes so much sense, I resonated with this a lot. Thank you! Skipped a heartbeat today after watching this.
OMG, this is the biggest compliment from The School of Life. I am that kind of person! :D
Your username fit's that description!
@@mleszzor6866 Thank you so much, dear! :)
@@iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart
Wow! I didn't expect a description of myself. 💔
However, I'm not sure about the last bit: "These are the kinds of people we need so many more of in our lives..."
I'm actually quite miserable and depressed because the gap between my hopes and my experiences is so wide. Imho we should make the world a much better place so that we won't need to go through so much pain and our hopes will be fulfilled rather than crushed by harsh reality.
at least you've taken the important first step of measuring yourself up against your dreams and deriving hopes and current experience. Now that the ambiguous part is done, make a pragmatic path connecting them and make it work, somehow.
"I'm actually quite miserable and depressed" this video doesn't describe you then. Where's your silver lining? Cynicism doesn't fit into the video.
@@TheSwauzz you didnt pay attention to the video then.
Finding people like this as a 'lovely person' is incredibly rare! Can we all just mingle together here? I'd like to meet more lovely people, too!
I'd like that! :) Not claiming to be lovely but I'm just lonely.
Thank you for making me feel seen ❤
So happy to have met a wonderful woman of this kind 😊
This video really speaks to me on a personal level. I've always been the person everyone comes to when they have things to offload off their minds. I'd listen, empathize, grieve with, cheer for, comfort and some times even go out of my way to show them the way forward. I struggle in spreading my heart too thin and caring too much for others that I usually find myself utterly exhausted when it comes to my own being. People often tell me I have a great life, partners told me they've never met anyone like me, but to me I felt stuck for so long. Cant keep a stable career, plans procrastinated, broken up with partners, living life on auto-pilot while feeling like people left me behind. The feeling of doing too much, but feeling so little is all too real for me. Then again, the bittersweet-ness of it all feels comforting somehow, as if seeing others happy makes me warm inside.
How do you think this impacted your partnerships, that you ended up breaking up with?
I'll never forget this older woman who made such an impression on me when I was 19- she was like the mother figure i desperately needed. She would take me in, like her eyes they were just so kind and she always smiled when she saw me and asked me questions about my day and myself and it felt like she genuinely was interested and gave pause for me to speak. One day she was rubbing my back while i was telling her about my classes and it was so soothing and healing - my mother never held me or if she touched me it was to hit me or correct me. I didn't know touch could be healing but it can. Some people are just kind and shine so bright that's all they know. We need those people, i needed her
I just love when one of my favourite channels posts.
This is an excellent little video. It puts into words what I learned to be true over the years. After 40 years of working, I have experienced some horribly toxic and abusive workplaces but I got through it all and came out the otherside stronger and wiser for it. Those lovely people are responsible for helping me to do that. I hope that some of what they had rubbed off on me.
If it really takes that much pain, suffering and unhappiness to become a truly lovely person, then I unfortunately cannot bring myself to wish for more such lovely people in the world 😢
A nice sounding counter to a brutal reality :/
Thank uu kind person
:) buddha, christ, the saints from religion sound so much better than these lovely people who cannot dive deep enough without staying as an ego😅
Been through lots of family pain and afterwards craving desperately at least a healthy relationship/partner and then falling in love for the first time mid 20s in a broken and betrayed individual who couldn't show affection, shattered me completely or should i say the last few whole parts in me.
Finally my heart too at the end of 2019 (no cheating whatsoever) i gave up on love somehow, still being with this person who improved and feels better now, which I'm grateful for while I'm just floating around now not knowing what to or being able to feel
To go through the hammermill of life and then recover stronger to do it all again takes time. Older people knows, seek out the moral ones and you have unlimited wisdom.
Okay this is not a flex or a brag, but this made me feel really good about myself as I recognized a lot of myself in this, thank you.
I don’t know, I kinda like people that cheer me up and think that life is more than pain and suffering
It is more. Exhausting people just don’t want to accept that life is also difficult. It’s the inconfortable truth we need to accept to live in joy and gratitude I think.
They will never be so mean as to try and cheer you up. 👍🤦♀️🥰
I mean, this is akin to the "road to enlightenment", getting free (not rid! free!) from " earthly desires" etc., this guy Buddha had some good insight... so long ago.
Before you can walk on the road to enlightenment you first have to awaken from seeing life through the filters of your mental disorders. Then to be aware of every moment you are experiencing instead of these moments triggering memories of the past where you will spend much of the time ruminating about them.
How do you not expect life as a whole to go right? According to this video, what doesn't make me 'lovely' is being optimistic that as a whole, things will go right, and I can find the 'right' through my perspective. I also find that there are appropriate times, after acknowledging pain, that there is a possibility things could turn out ok, and that can happen through constructive action. I've often found that holding hope for people and pointing out when they do have power for constructive action can actually cheer them, when the moment is right.
I think that this video describes more a content person rather than a happy one. Happiness can be subjective and hard to grasp but exudes out one. People around them can palpable it.
Happiness comes and goes in moments.
They are describing the loveliest 🙂, not necessarily the happiest
This is me to a T. Exactly....I never saw these as admirable qualities....but I'm feeling really seen and heard for once...Immense thank you. This means so much to me.
I am not trying to toot my own horn but this is a close description of myself. I want to mention that these characteristics are not often well recieved. There are times I have to backtrack and alter my language when I see the look of shock after I have casually expressed what seems to me an obvious truth.
Yes I see her in the miror every morning. I can't think life without her.
"Great Souled" is the descriptive for people like these that has seemed most apt, and stuck with me.
bros voice calming af i already got the comfort the second i watch this
The puppy eating a butterfly is so cute paired with the explanation of someone exploring their weirdest bits of themselves!
My three close friends are like this. I am super grateful for having them.
And they are so rare, and mostly elderly, and lovely indeed.
My best tip for anyone reading me is this, don't take yourself as the biggest or latest shit, we're just the impressions we left on the others. 99% of people in the world DO take themselves really serious, having stuff like "pride" or "honor" as their biggest wire to sanity and that makes them really defensive for some reason, society is toxic af. But you can really dismantle that tough exterior by showing that you're completely fine of laughing at yourself, at the same time, that gives you a big shell from being mocked/bullied/stepped-on. When you're big enough to laugh at yourself, embrace "criticism" (i'm convinced every opinion i heard from a third party about me is constructive and i listen carefully) and overall just flow/don't get stuck with stuff that comes in the moment and usually is just people being stressed because most humans live fast and have 0 stress tolerance, you will succeed ! 🖤
Has anyone noticed the uprise of religious propaganda in the comments? To me this is an indication that people steadly lose hope in the modern way of living, and see no good future ahead. I feel that we're heading into another dark ages, with constant wars, religous superstitions, traditionalism, anti-intellectualism, all thanks to the current socio-economic systems failing the large portion of the population by not providing any room for growth.
Religion doesn't mean anti-intellectualism...
You just described the history of the last 1000 years. My still living mother has commented many times in the past few years about how bad things are getting. She only knows about how bad things supposedly are from the particular media she consumes. Her life is quite comfortable.
I see it in a lot of comment sections lately, almost no matter what the content of the video. It always comes off so culty and creepy.
Thank you for the appreciation ♥️🔆
Some people will never know what it's like to be real. They will never know the pain of others, and they will never care, because they don't love themselves.
They will realize someday since life is about growing with your imperfections and learning from your mistakes...We all grow in different phases since we all have different timelines on how we achieve our goals.Just like any type of plants,we all have different ways of growing and that doesn't mean there's no progress...They will realize someday how it feels to be real,if karma will start teaching them a lesson
I have suffered and i have hurt others badly, because of that i understand how horrible both experiences are, for every part. I really try to explain this to people who talks about hurting others ("Bad guys, abusers, monsters") that hurting others is not a good solution, for the toll it takes in your soul.
This almost sounds like a poem. So beautiful.
Who are the Loveliest People in the World?
They’re not the famous ones
or the respected ones,
the worthy ones and the powerful ones.
They are the ones who long ago shed their pride,
who can tell you frankly how lonely and sad they are,
who can face their self-hatred and accept their regrets.
They aren’t just unhappy
(there are plenty of boring and frightening ways to be that);
they’ve come to an optimal perspective on their unhappiness.
You could tell them about the strangest, oddest, most lamentable things
about you
and know that they understood it all at once from the inside.
There are no follies around sex
or status, love or money
that they aren’t fully acquainted with.
They want to get to the howl inside you
because they are so familiar
with the howl inside them.
They aren’t remotely attached to seeming sane;
they long ago ceased
attempting to appear normal.
They know that life is mostly pain, mystery and error
- and will never try
to persuade you otherwise.
They will never
be so mean
as to try to cheer you up.
They can be trusted
because they have had the courage
to fathom their full propensities to cowardice and corruption.
They don’t give a jot
about your reputation
- because they know enough what people in general are like.
They combine a thorough misanthropy for the group
with a deep love and tenderness
for the individual.
They’ve been through their obsessions
with love, public esteem, career triumph and positivism
- and come out the other side.
They let their humour get very dark, because the gap
between their hopes and their experience
is so wide.
They’ve gone into the weirdest bits of themselves
and will therefore
understand the oddest bits of you.
They don’t expect life as a whole to go right and,
against a backdrop of despair,
laugh with exceptional richness and glee.
These are the sort of people you want
in the prison cell or on the way to the scaffold,
in the trenches or the bed next to you on the cancer ward.
These are the kinds of people
we need so many more of in our lives
- and should try so hard to be for others.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves because they will never cease to be amused
People used to be the nicest people, until everyone abuse their niceness
Am really very lucky. My two adult children are outstanding and not far away.All I really have to do now is be good company- that is, optimistic and cheerful-
The weather out there and the news are making things extra challenging, that’s all.
Abso-bloody-lutely beautiful ❤️🙏🏻
Wise, self aware, authentic, empathetic