Strange how I've noticed all the locations the developers deliberately hid the book as a joke, but I've never read it until now. I remember it's under the bed of the Jarl's son in Morthal, because I fus ro dah'd it out when I was killing everyone in Skyrim.
I once found a pile of books, laying under some kind of tent, that were just the lusty argonian maid. I only remember it was inside a cave or a dungeon
+robinchwan Or for Thieves; Pickpocket Legendaried, Lockpick Legendaried. For Nords; Battlecry used. For Brawlers/Fist-Fighters; Punch-Speed increased, new attack learned: Fist. For Redguards; Adrenaline used. For Orcs: Berserker Rage used
Yeah that's one underrated. There are people out there that find that better than the maid one. Don't know why (I like both lol), but I guess it because it parodies the lusty argonian maid.
Gods-damned Crassius, always writing smut, he was. I swear if if that volcano didn't kill him, i'd have done myself after what he tried to do to my niece!
Guilty. Took hours to isolate the text and get the sliding fade right, to say nothing of trying to find a decent isolated recording of the "skill increase" sound.
there is this one reikling hut i found which was filled with over 10 books of these on top of each other with tons of linen wrap around, I had the best laugh in Skyrim right there
i can't help but feel, in the way she is often called foolish, and in that her name is LIFTS-HER-TAIL, that this book is not only lewd, but hella racist.
TheLastHylianTitan it was written i oblivion by a dunmer who had previously (or maybe still did i only ever got to watch other people play it and not got to do so myself. it was like watching someone run through mud a lot to occasionally talk with really ugly people) who was known for debauchery and like the altmer, dunmer are fascists, they think they are better than everyone, even more so when those others happen to be fucking furries
That's because the book is actually a cunning piece of subversive political propaganda written by some Dunmer-loving Imperial pervert who wanted to denigrate the integrity of the Argonian race. It's like a slave owner in the 1800's writing a book about a black girl that gets banged constantly, just gross and nasty stuff.
This is the one problem with Bethesda and making all the reading material silent. Hearing someone read it out loud, really brought the book to life, more than one way. It's no wonder it raises your one-handed combat skill.
For those of you agents that are currently reading and or enjoying other similar activities here is your thalmor field agent supplied potion list: Potion of stamina Potion of true shot Potion of wielding Agents may also note that in some cases other items may be necessary. Items may include but are not limited to: Dwemer oil Ring of suregrip (size may vairy) Potion of cure disease
the one thing that made me break was the one handed increased. I got all the way through without laughing but with a cheeky grin on my face but that one handed just made me laugh so hard. Budun tssss.
"One-Handed Increased"
Nice detail.
I would like but I'll keep the number at 69
Lol
Level 34.
It was amazing if Bethesda actually did make it so your one-handed skill increased.
Mods my friend mods
It'd be one hell of a power move If they increased two-handed instead
@@whambamduel while late (original comment is 7 years old), i want it to be known that your comment did not go unappreciated
Wait really?
@@nerdcuddles7731 "if"
Dovahkiin: 'Can you teach me in One-Handed?'
Lusty Argonian Maid: 'It's all in the swing. Let me show you.'
The italian way😂
@@danilodrobnjakovic3020 Is that so? Enlighten me. 😁
"Lifts-her-tail"
Oh. My. God.
This book is too much...
I've been busting to this since....
Oh Bethesda... I bet that's got to be a studio legend. Maybe they even have the book in hardback.
I read it in German. Its even funnier
Strange how I've noticed all the locations the developers deliberately hid the book as a joke, but I've never read it until now. I remember it's under the bed of the Jarl's son in Morthal, because I fus ro dah'd it out when I was killing everyone in Skyrim.
I once found a pile of books, laying under some kind of tent, that were just the lusty argonian maid. I only remember it was inside a cave or a dungeon
the only reason he had it was to increase his... one handed skill ;)
@@bartrammfk1974 i think you could guess what these guys were doing with it......
@@bartrammfk1974 rieklings
You cant find it while doing the sirens deception quest, in the basement at gweden farm.
I was expecting a girl to play the maid but this...this is so much better
"Wow! I never knew argonians had a second tail!- waitaminute..."
@@fluffbutt9960 EVEN BETTER
This voice is more lore accurate
I was kinda hoping the VA would try and do an Argonian accent with the raspy voice and all, still funny though.
It sounds like Teela from Yu Gi Oh Abridged
One-handed increased. Bahahah. XD
Bitch Please. Two Handed Increased!
+Anaxes Medrike Mortal, please. THREE-HANDED INCREASED!
Bitch please
*FOUR HANDED INCREASED!*
FIFTH HANDED INCREASED???
Female dog por favor. Sixth hand has gained!
spell learned:raise
Skull Dozer ya knoooow they should have made a full booook
ya know
for reaalism
+Colonel Augustus Autumn for older gentlemen : raise the dead :)
robinchwan nice
+robinchwan Or for Thieves; Pickpocket Legendaried, Lockpick Legendaried. For Nords; Battlecry used. For Brawlers/Fist-Fighters; Punch-Speed increased, new attack learned: Fist. For Redguards; Adrenaline used. For Orcs: Berserker Rage used
Spell learned : Meat
Still a better love story than Twilight.
BrewersPackers yed
It’s been 7 years and somehow I still can’t watch this without having my mother ask what is an Argonian
You watch this with your mother?
Bow chika what
I'm still wondering why no one has done 'The Sultry Argonian Bard"
Yeah that's one underrated. There are people out there that find that better than the maid one. Don't know why (I like both lol), but I guess it because it parodies the lusty argonian maid.
I’d pay hard money to listen to Todd Howard narrate this
Your level is 34, i see what you did there.
Your way too old for this shit ass needs to forget this shit.
@@explorinjenkins349 He said that 8 years ago, chill.
@@Grantsta r34 existed 8 years ago? Dam
@@dhruvavikas1632 yes
@@dhruvavikas1632 Yeah, the rules of the internet are pretty old
The Lusty Argonian Maid (Skyrim Audiobooks by Zap Brannigan)
He totally sounds like him omg lmfao
Imagine if everything that was said was actually true and the maid was baking bread 🍞
Plenty of time my sweet
lol I remember in Morrowind when I realized that this was written by the same Hlaalu counciler that vouched for me. I nearly died of laughter
Crassius Curio, such a fucking mood
It's not that funny if you ARE an Argonian
@@falconeshield perhaps a chaste Argonian anyways
one handed increase lol
This weapon can only be wielded two handed ;)
+Drink of the Day conjuration increases.
+Drink of the Day Damn my loaf isnt big enough for two handed :3
bow-chicka-wow-wow
Im your 69th like
Gods-damned Crassius, always writing smut, he was. I swear if if that volcano didn't kill him, i'd have done myself after what he tried to do to my niece!
oh Lord.
Hehe 😏
he probably survived tbh
The humans of Skyrim sure are strange about their lizards.
One-handed increased
One-handed 100
Dragonborn: What the f*ck?
I lost my shit when the song came on XD XD XD XD
The 70s porno music is still a classic 50 years on
the fucking porn music caught me waaay off guard, and then the one handed skill up xD I about died!
^^ The one handed level up made me burst out laughing, that was hilarious
It gives you a one-handed level upgrade... Brb dying to death.
ayo you kinda cute
@@Nimham i commented this literally nine years ago?
@@okate251 come over???
@@Nimham dude wtf
@@Nimham down horrendous, go touch grass
Best way to increase your one handed just read the argonian maid and u be fine
Guilty. Took hours to isolate the text and get the sliding fade right, to say nothing of trying to find a decent isolated recording of the "skill increase" sound.
Worth it
The second the music kicked in I couldn't stop laughing
In the Dragonborn DLC, there's a side quest to retrieve a signed copy for a local Dunmer.
Thank you R.Kelly
this book is fictional because it has a spear in it, something you never see in skyrim
"One-Handed Increased" catched me Off-Guard
It might be a good idea for a fan to reconstruct the entirety of the play.
I can't with that music
Sweet lord it just makes me laugh
The Argonian sound like Dobby the house elf :P
Better than sounding like a 60 year old smoker
Well thanks for that image *Shutters*
I hate you, I can't unsee it now.
Fuck!
Dobby is a free elf!
who knew reading could be so fun
Since your voice sounds so much like Zapp Brannigans, it makes parts of this so much funnier
I died when it said “one handed increased”. lol
This has the same energy as Zap Brannigan acting out a p*rno with sock puppets
the increase to one handed was too much lmao
You find these books in skyrim, next to some paper rolls (rapresenting tissues), in a dungeon. Hmmmmm....
The damn draugrs
Hehe 😏
there is this one reikling hut i found which was filled with over 10 books of these on top of each other with tons of linen wrap around, I had the best laugh in Skyrim right there
The music makes the narration, great job!! 🤣🤣
i can't help but feel, in the way she is often called foolish, and in that her name is LIFTS-HER-TAIL, that this book is not only lewd, but hella racist.
TheLastHylianTitan it was written i oblivion by a dunmer who had previously (or maybe still did i only ever got to watch other people play it and not got to do so myself. it was like watching someone run through mud a lot to occasionally talk with really ugly people) who was known for debauchery and like the altmer, dunmer are fascists, they think they are better than everyone, even more so when those others happen to be fucking furries
the book was made in MORROWIND by an IMPERIAL
I have doubts that it was written by an Argonian. You know how the Imperials feel about them.
That's because the book is actually a cunning piece of subversive political propaganda written by some Dunmer-loving Imperial pervert who wanted to denigrate the integrity of the Argonian race. It's like a slave owner in the 1800's writing a book about a black girl that gets banged constantly, just gross and nasty stuff.
"One-handed increased" I CRACKED
I’m dying because I actually found the book and it was lying next to this dude that got him and his house crushed by a tree-
I lost it when the music started.
now thats DRAMA.
priceless
Oh man! That would be HILARIOUS if it was a one handed skill book.😅
Plenty of time my sweet, plenty of time.
The music is the best part xD lmfao
The jazz music OH MY GOSH
You had plenty of time my sweet, plenty of time...
I need the music.... For reasons.
This is the one problem with Bethesda and making all the reading material silent. Hearing someone read it out loud, really brought the book to life, more than one way. It's no wonder it raises your one-handed combat skill.
people actually get aroused over bipedal talking lizards?
@@SpiffyMario55 You have a Spyro profile picture, I don't think you're in the position to ask that question you susy baka
For those of you agents that are currently reading and or enjoying other similar activities here is your thalmor field agent supplied potion list:
Potion of stamina
Potion of true shot
Potion of wielding
Agents may also note that in some cases other items may be necessary. Items may include but are not limited to:
Dwemer oil
Ring of suregrip (size may vairy)
Potion of cure disease
The puns!! Sweet mercy, the PUNS!
Production quality out of this world.
My body wasn't ready.
The funky music is flawless XD
I found a copy under a bed in a bandit's den but couldn't read it because the pages were stuck together
The music alone has me hooked.
This is my favorite video of all time
The music is a perfect addition! Great video
Not a bit of laughter 'til my skill went up.
Then the whole house heard me.
The reason you can only read certain portions of the books are because the other pages are stuck together
I HEARD BLIND GUARDIAN IN THERE.
INCREASES ONE HAND SKILL. JESUS-
I cannot remember the last time i cried from laughter until now
"Plenty of time my sweet, plenty of time"
x''D Hahaha! Cicero finds this so amusing
This is amazing
50 shades of grey book based on the elder scrolls?
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!!!
This came out before fifty shades of grey
It's first appearance was morrowind I believe
I lost it when that porno music kicked in
the one thing that made me break was the one handed increased. I got all the way through without laughing but with a cheeky grin on my face but that one handed just made me laugh so hard. Budun tssss.
THE END SONG THOUGH OH MY GOD.
this deserves a noble-peace prize
I’m watching this 8 years later. Still funny.
LMFAO the end when it said one handed increased. LOL
Definitly two handed increased my sweet child
She sounds like abridged Teá Gardner and I love that
Somewhere the full seven acts of this exists
I dono the first act or the first scene, it's like starting starting to watch a 3 hour movie half an hour in.
the one handed part, I died!
I hope that we will see part three in the next game
Beautiful.
This guy is a real life cicero.
SHITS GETTING STEAMY
HAHAHA! Okay, subscribed. Good lord, that music and the voices. Oh now I have to find the book.
50 shades of argonian maid
I never thought you would record this one. Also, the first watcher.
Is it just me or does he sound like Tobias pretending to be Mrs Featherbottom when reading for Lifts-Her-Tail
Lol the lv up made it even more funny.
The background music is hilarious
*Reads title*
*Shits bricks*
XD adding the skill increase was great
Is so gratifying working for Curio in Morrowind
plenty of time, my sweet, plenty of time :P
Soft core at the essence