I was listening attentively and it struck me that I can’t get a plumber not to lie on appointments, I can’t get a florist to bring the flowers ordered, can’t get the cleaners to...show up!! The manicure lady told me “how nice u came but don’t ask me to do your nails “ 😳 the pastry shop employees are shocked that I want fresh products 😳 ...etc etc etc ...and I seriously think I will one day find a life partner?? What are the chances
niki Gran mindset is infinitely powerful. If you believe people can’t and won’t, that’s what you’ll see and often attract...it’s often related to how much you are showing up for yourself, being true to you, in your own power. When you are fully authentic and connected to yourself, the world responds in drastically different ways. And when others don’t show up, you’ll find the compassion... when you are showing yourself regular compassion. It all is an interplay :)
Honourable Men - That should be a Netflix show for us to see what good men are supposed to look like, sound like, etc. Some of us didn’t grow up with good role models.
@@thejackbutler that's a good point! Why do we live in a world that excellence as a life partner is not attractive enough/boring? but then mediocrity as life partners is ok if something more Indiana Jones-y is in place? Women have been made believe that rough-naughty man are ok by films made by men... Because that is the ideal figure for men...
Your thumbnail is so fun! 😂 I clicked on this video just because of the thumbnail. Have to be honest, I stopped watching your videos for a couple reasons. I still find you genuine and incredible. And this advice in the video is very helpful. Maybe I will take another look at your videos.
@@thejackbutler I find you intriguing, engaging, genuine, commanding, and I noticed that you would sometimes talk a lot about what you were going to talk about and telling me how important it was and only 1 minute of your video showing how what you are talking about is applied in relationship. Not all your videos. Enough that I felt frustrated watching a whole video to see if it was mostly content or mostly telling me how much I needed the content.
@@becky7468 Hey Becky, curious that you're having that experience. I get a lot of feedback that people find these practical. Have you experimented much with other channels in this space? Maybe there's someone who's more applied in a way that works for you.
@@thejackbutler I did. I stopped watching these videos. I wasn't going to say why because I knew these just were not my kind of video; however, you asked. I found some other speakers that resonate more with my style. Nothing wrong with your style. There is always a market for every style.
Recently divorced. There were lots of inconsistencies then and now he does show up and does right for the children. They are grown but at least he is now following through for the kids who look up to him. I give thanks for that change in him. Not for me, for the kids. 🙏
Truth ! I had a 20 years of compadability , dependability , honesty , and best friend in my husband , until I lost him 14 yrs ago now to kidney failure on Valentine's day, our engagement day. I was devestated ! , to say the least ! Didn't want to move on with another relationship for 10nyears. And only did by a man that forced his way , basically chasing me , literally. And has been in my life for 4 years now, and it started unraveling after the first year , into what I understand as Narcissim traites., NPD. I was devestated to say the least ! I have broke the relationship at least 11 times now, but he won't accept it for more than 3 days at a time, and calls me , and comes back , like nothing happened. Because he says he loves me . He says that we can't live together because of his arguing, and he's right , because if his NPD. And it's devestating to both of us , because we love each other really, unfortunately. It's been very painful and something that I never wanted to go through , after the devestation of my life , loosing my husband to kidney failure. I took care of him on dialysis the last 10 years of his life , and loosing him was horrific ! And never wanted to go through anymore devestation of loosing someone that I love ever again. And now here I am with another tragic situation !
Hey Tami, thanks for sharing, sounds like it's been a hard ride. Sorry. Is your desire to be able to break the relationship and not respond when he calls you?
Tami, I am sorry to say that narcissists tend to prey on people who are vulnerable. They can be addictive because the rollercoaster ride of emotions you experience with them can distract you from the flat-line of feelings you were experiencing before. Please do not feel that you are doomed to stay with this bad situation or that somehow you don't deserve to find lasting happiness. That is what the narcissist wants you to think. Love yourself enough to walk away from this man. He cannot keep coming back if you don't let him. Block him from all access to you. And then take the time to heal yourself by finding new activities and interests, get a new look, learn something different, travel. Re-invent yourself. Perhaps things you didn't take the time to do after the tragic loss of your husband. Now is the time! And then you will see, as if by magic. As you feel better and more excited about life and the new person you have become, you will attract new men who will reflect back the love you have found for yourself. I truly believe that our partners act as mirrors. And I am speaking from experience. I attracted narcissists only when I was feeling like a victim. But they either didn't approach or didn't stay long when I was feeling upbeat and hopeful about the future. Some people call it the Law of Attraction, but you don't have to give it a name for it to work. I wish you all the best.
I think a well grounded knows where he ‘s going guy very sexy. For #3 if I am willing to listen to his feedback he has to be willing to listen to mine. That would be a deal breaker for me. Great video and down to earth information. Thanks, Bye!
Jack he got all these qualities, I'm lucky. But there are things that I want him to do for me,i don't know how to say this it's a little bit embarrassing but I'll say it anyway. I want a chanel purse but I don't think he wants to give what I like. He spoils me in other ways though
pixsie doll Hey Pixie! Congrats on finding a guy who has these qualities! Sounds like gifts may be a strong love language for you? Have you guys explored that?
pixsie doll what does a Chanel purse mean to you? Is it based on false narratives, of what society says is important? While it’s fine to value gifts...the love language around gifts isn’t always specific, nor oriented towards expensive gifts, but thoughtful gifts. I’d explore what your childhood relationship towards gifts was growing up...whether lack of or excessive..if it was used in place of true, connected emotional exchange and safety. It’s worth exploring as a chance to evolve. Good luck 🌺
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Those thumbnail selfies are too funny, great content as usual!
haha thanks! And glad the content is working for you :)
Gosh - we didn't stand a chance! So relieved it's over. Great advice thanks Jack.
By far the BEST video on that topic here on TH-cam. Thank You for Your work! Have a blessed day.
Hey Agatha, thanks so much for reflecting that 🙏
I like your well-rounded advice Jack. Keep on keeping up. Thank you.
Thank you! I intend to :)
Sit and work things out” I have the feeling that you are speaking about a unicorn 😳😂
Ha - you saying that men who want to do that are few and far between?
I was listening attentively and it struck me that I can’t get a plumber not to lie on appointments, I can’t get a florist to bring the flowers ordered, can’t get the cleaners to...show up!! The manicure lady told me “how nice u came but don’t ask me to do your nails “ 😳 the pastry shop employees are shocked that I want fresh products 😳 ...etc etc etc ...and I seriously think I will one day find a life partner?? What are the chances
niki Gran mindset is infinitely powerful. If you believe people can’t and won’t, that’s what you’ll see and often attract...it’s often related to how much you are showing up for yourself, being true to you, in your own power. When you are fully authentic and connected to yourself, the world responds in drastically different ways.
And when others don’t show up, you’ll find the compassion... when you are showing yourself regular compassion. It all is an interplay :)
Honourable Men - That should be a Netflix show for us to see what good men are supposed to look like, sound like, etc. Some of us didn’t grow up with good role models.
Not sure if would get as many viewings as Bad Boys alas :)
@@thejackbutler that's a good point! Why do we live in a world that excellence as a life partner is not attractive enough/boring? but then mediocrity as life partners is ok if something more Indiana Jones-y is in place? Women have been made believe that rough-naughty man are ok by films made by men... Because that is the ideal figure for men...
Your thumbnail is so fun! 😂 I clicked on this video just because of the thumbnail.
Have to be honest, I stopped watching your videos for a couple reasons. I still find you genuine and incredible. And this advice in the video is very helpful. Maybe I will take another look at your videos.
Glad the thumbnail worked lol! Feel free to share if you want or DM me on insta if you want to do so privately.
@@thejackbutler I find you intriguing, engaging, genuine, commanding, and I noticed that you would sometimes talk a lot about what you were going to talk about and telling me how important it was and only 1 minute of your video showing how what you are talking about is applied in relationship. Not all your videos. Enough that I felt frustrated watching a whole video to see if it was mostly content or mostly telling me how much I needed the content.
@@becky7468 Hey Becky, curious that you're having that experience. I get a lot of feedback that people find these practical. Have you experimented much with other channels in this space? Maybe there's someone who's more applied in a way that works for you.
@@thejackbutler I did. I stopped watching these videos. I wasn't going to say why because I knew these just were not my kind of video; however, you asked.
I found some other speakers that resonate more with my style. Nothing wrong with your style. There is always a market for every style.
Becky Absolutely - and glad you’ve found stuff that’s resonating - that’s great 🙏
Great timing Jack. Thank you. 😇🙏🙏🌏✌💞
Hey Aira! Awesome, happy for the aligned timing!
Taking notes!
Good work!
Recently divorced. There were lots of inconsistencies then and now he does show up and does right for the children. They are grown but at least he is now following through for the kids who look up to him. I give thanks for that change in him. Not for me, for the kids. 🙏
I hear you, glad that that's a silver lining of sorts 🙏
Great video!!! Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us 😊
Hey Claudia! Tnx! You're welcome :)
You’re the Best Jack! Thank you so much for your great and valuable advice. ❤️
Fantastic, Jack! Thanks!
very well put together ! thank you!
Thanks Madam Butterfly!
Truth ! I had a 20 years of compadability , dependability , honesty , and best friend in my husband , until I lost him 14 yrs ago now to kidney failure on Valentine's day, our engagement day. I was devestated ! , to say the least ! Didn't want to move on with another relationship for 10nyears. And only did by a man that forced his way , basically chasing me , literally. And has been in my life for 4 years now, and it started unraveling after the first year , into what I understand as Narcissim traites., NPD. I was devestated to say the least ! I have broke the relationship at least 11 times now, but he won't accept it for more than 3 days at a time, and calls me , and comes back , like nothing happened. Because he says he loves me . He says that we can't live together because of his arguing, and he's right , because if his NPD. And it's devestating to both of us , because we love each other really, unfortunately. It's been very painful and something that I never wanted to go through , after the devestation of my life , loosing my husband to kidney failure. I took care of him on dialysis the last 10 years of his life , and loosing him was horrific ! And never wanted to go through anymore devestation of loosing someone that I love ever again. And now here I am with another tragic situation !
Hey Tami, thanks for sharing, sounds like it's been a hard ride. Sorry. Is your desire to be able to break the relationship and not respond when he calls you?
Tami, I am sorry to say that narcissists tend to prey on people who are vulnerable. They can be addictive because the rollercoaster ride of emotions you experience with them can distract you from the flat-line of feelings you were experiencing before. Please do not feel that you are doomed to stay with this bad situation or that somehow you don't deserve to find lasting happiness. That is what the narcissist wants you to think. Love yourself enough to walk away from this man. He cannot keep coming back if you don't let him. Block him from all access to you. And then take the time to heal yourself by finding new activities and interests, get a new look, learn something different, travel. Re-invent yourself. Perhaps things you didn't take the time to do after the tragic loss of your husband. Now is the time!
And then you will see, as if by magic. As you feel better and more excited about life and the new person you have become, you will attract new men who will reflect back the love you have found for yourself. I truly believe that our partners act as mirrors. And I am speaking from experience. I attracted narcissists only when I was feeling like a victim. But they either didn't approach or didn't stay long when I was feeling upbeat and hopeful about the future.
Some people call it the Law of Attraction, but you don't have to give it a name for it to work. I wish you all the best.
You are amazing.Great channel
Appreciate that! Thank you :)
OMG Jack will he make it??! 😁😁😁🌙 Greetings from Madrid! I have some work now but I will listen asap and learn if he will make it 😁😁🌼
Ha! Hope it supports you finding what's right for you 🙏
AWESome useful information as your videos always have. KEEP it up!! 😃 oh & I have heard of Dr. Gottman. I LOVE his knowledge. 😃
Wendi Watson Thanks Wendi! Appreciate the encouragement 🙏⭐️
Thank you Jack... Your insights are so valuable to my relationship. He checked all 5 boxes... Now what!!?? Am I good wife material for him?
Katherine Somerville Well firstly congrats that’s huge! What’s your authentic desire?
Good question. I think that's something I need to reflect on.
@@katedoesnature1658 Great to hear
Something to think about....
starlite0 Glad it was good stimulus!
I think a well grounded knows where he ‘s going guy very sexy. For #3 if I am willing to listen to his feedback he has to be willing to listen to mine. That would be a deal breaker for me. Great video and down to earth information. Thanks, Bye!
Chantal Paquette Definitely yes to mutual hearing of feedback 🙏⭐️
Jack he got all these qualities, I'm lucky. But there are things that I want him to do for me,i don't know how to say this it's a little bit embarrassing but I'll say it anyway. I want a chanel purse but I don't think he wants to give what I like. He spoils me in other ways though
pixsie doll Hey Pixie! Congrats on finding a guy who has these qualities! Sounds like gifts may be a strong love language for you? Have you guys explored that?
Jack Butler hi jack. You're right, it's my love language but I don't wanna sound materialistic
pixsie doll what does a Chanel purse mean to you?
Is it based on false narratives, of what society says is important?
While it’s fine to value gifts...the love language around gifts isn’t always specific, nor oriented towards expensive gifts, but thoughtful gifts.
I’d explore what your childhood relationship towards gifts was growing up...whether lack of or excessive..if it was used in place of true, connected emotional exchange and safety. It’s worth exploring as a chance to evolve.
Good luck 🌺
Check his credit score.
Or maybe include it conversation some time and intuit if he's telling you the truth