Being an introvert is just so frustrating because introversion is so poorly understood by the general public, and especially by people who aren't introverts. Just a little understanding would've made all the difference even just a few years ago.
Not for me, all the people that knows me knew for sure I was introvert and they respect me for who I am. And the new people that meet me sure knows I'm introvert and I live in one of those countries where being extrovert is cool and all.
I might be misunderstood but I’m not aware if it because I’d rather be out of any circle of people and therefore I don’t really care if they don’t know me. I usually find a good soul every now and then and I spend more time with that person, but sometimes I can go years and not hang around with anyone. The only person that I feel needs to know me is me, as long as I like me then that’s good enough. I’m very kind to those around me in my daily life so most people say hi or chat with me if they feel like it so it’s not like I’m living in a cave shunning people I just truly enjoy being alone as often during the day as possible.
I’ve never judged anyone for being an extrovert but I’ve met a metric tonne of extroverts who view introversion as a deficit or something to be pitied. Never mind corporate discrimination which actively penalises reserved people and rewards the loud pipes all while celebrating “workforce diversity”
Social introvert here, who thought all the time that I was an extrovert because people told me so, but I felt so burnt being in a big social setting. People think on me like a social butterfly. The fact that I'm an easy talker, I can do small talk and reach unknown people if needed or I can speak in public doesn't take away how draining it can be.
As a child I never got bored alone. I was constantly doing stuff by myself. I also had and still have a very good and dear friend, introvert like me. My grandmother used to force me go outside and play with the kids in the neighborhood because I would rather stay in my room and read. As a nurse I had to talk and communicate with patients, colleagues and different people all the time, so people who see me outside of work are extremely surprised to find out how "quiet" I am. Usually they ask "Is everything ok with you?" and I always answer: "Yes", which is true. The dialogues can be quite monosyllabic. So, they are not convinced that everything is ok and get very confused, I can see it on their faces :)
Can you be a combination of them all? 😂 I’m heavily anxious, and comfortable with a few close friends, love listening/ learning but really avoidant. I’m very reserved, and frequently unemotional 🤦🏻♀️
Great video. Very helpful and reassuring. The term "shame spiral" I suffer with that. Glad to know I'm not alone in thinking like that sometimes. Even better when I passes - feels like you can breath again! Thank you.
People used to tell my mom they thought I was rude all the time (she was our bus driver) and she was always telling me to stop reading and talk to them instead.
Yep even got picked on at school as a kid. I was "stuck up" "anti social" " rude a**hole" . My anxiety was just through the roof ya know. I usually hate social gatherings. But now if I find a person or t two I can talk with about a shared interest or hobby I'm fine. It just takes me a bit longer to open up to people.
I am definitely an introvert, in that I need a lot of alone time to brainstorm, but I'm willing to turn on the "socialisation" function whenever necessary. 💞
I'm like that also. I prefer hearing my own thoughts. There is too much are srimulus bombarding us daily. Being alone is like a gift to recharge and just be. I also have a need to understand why people behave the way we do. I have slso been accused of being too curious, as if that was something bad, which I never felt it could be. I can enjoy social activities on occasions, but only if there is something that stimulates my mind.
I thought I was a social introvert but the thinking introvert surprised me and resonated with me even more. I can be in a small gathering, somewhat enjoying the interaction, but mindscaping and thinking about the evening ahead, when they go away and I can be alone (with cats) in my room devouring content on psychology, philosophy, history and all the topics that interest me and that I don't get to discuss with anyone in real life.
I am an introvert & that's all the time I'm gonna waste on thinking about it. You are what you are, we're only here for a short time & spend too much of it trying to put labels on everything.
Great video, as always! I’m the restrained introvert. I pause before I answer - to the point where people will say “Hello?” Thinking the call has dropped. I understand the “unemotional” in crisis situations. I always take a beat before I answer or act. It’s become habitual. So when an emergency arises, some people might call it unemotional, but really it’s just me calming myself down so I can react competently. Panic causes mistakes. This trait has served me and others well over the years, particularly when the stakes are high. But on the daily, people don’t understand it. Sometimes they ask me a question, and when I pause, they get worried they are making me uncomfortable and will rescue me by answering for me. It isn’t necessary, but I have nice friends, so I always find this demonstration of concern touching.
I'm 100% an introvert, not even remotely on the middle of the spectrum. From these types, I'm definitely a social introvert (with a few anxious traits depending on the situation). Even if I'm planning on meeting really close friends who I enjoy spending time with, it is draining and I have to mentally prepare for it.
all of these resonated with me!! I think I'm definitely an anxious introvert, and in fact I mistook a lot of my anxiety symptoms as "just being an introvert" for a long time! But I also do need time to step away and think in order to respond thoughtfully and intentionally. Gonna have to check out that book!
Definitely an anxious introvert, but nobody never called me rude, but just silent, what hurts so much. I hate when people assume that they know you just for the first impressions. On another hand, my tolerance to rejection, being told "no" or getting a bad reply is very low in many cases that I avoid the situation at all cost. I struggle so much meeting new people and I actually shouldn't because I live laughing and being always possitive but when I meet somebody I change completely, I look like more serious and I feel like I loose my personality, I don't act natural and I feel like pushed to say something all the time to fill uncomfortable silence.
I find being around people very stressful. After about an hour in peoples company, I start to get panic attacks and have to then hide behind my phone or book, which can make me seem rude or uncaring.
I find this topic so interesting, especially after the pandemic with the isolation we all experienced during the lockdowns. We human beings are genuinely social creatures, but even that need for social interaction varies on a spectrum. I tend to be talkative - which is something I’m trying to curb as I get older. If I’m feeling awkward or anxious, I tend to be talkative to distract from the discomfort. If I’m happy, I tend to be bubbly and chatter happily. It would seem to some that I’m some kind of social butterfly extrovert but at the end of a day where I’m doing a lot of socializing and meeting new people, I don’t feel energized at all. I’m completely exhausted, and all I want to do is climb into a hidey-hole someplace to chill out. I may have enjoyed every moment of a day like that, but it draws on my mental energies because people are important to me. I often feel joyful around other people, but that doesn’t change the fact that it requires more energy from me than it does for my siblings who are extroverts and very socially skilled and graceful with others. I have fewer relationships, but they have more depth and most have lasted for years. It’s just more “my speed” somehow. I’ve never really understood my own introversion all that well, except as a cap on my energy level when I’m at a conference or maybe at a party, where I’m sitting near the pets or having a quiet conversation on the outskirts of the main “conversation pit”. I’m glad there’s more research taking place on personality attributes like introversion and extroversion and ambiversion (if that’s really a thing - it feels intuitively like it could or should be). Thanks for sharing this video - I enjoy your content. :-)
I'm an introvert. Ive always known that. I definitely am the first one, a Social introvert. I just prefer to be alone most of the time. I have no social anxiety, I dont fit with the 3rd one. I could have a little of the second one but didn't know that is introversion. I love to think about things and learning and knowledge. Im a flight attendant and we often will have 3 hours in an airport between flights and sometimes the crews want to hang out with each other, go eat together, sit together. I hate it. I generally try to get away by myself to recharge my energy for the next flight. I need to be alone so I can think about what I want to eat, use a restroom in privacy, text or call a close friend or just be with my thoughts. Having to be "on" making small talk with the other flight attendants or listening to them jabber on about whatever, having to go eat at whatever the consensus is is all just draining and not at all entertaining in any way. I dont understand why people are like this and why they have to be together. Its like we have another 3 hour flight together in a little while. I'll get to listen to u jabber on then.
haha, I can totally relate! If I put myself in your shoes, I would feel exactly the same way! 3 hours to myself to recharge since there will be another flight coming on soon where I'd have to interact with all those people. Totally get it. :)
Hi Gazelle, I think that you honestly just describe the vast majority of Introverts in your post. I definitely fall between 1, 2 and 4. More on 1, for sure. But it depends on the situation, my mood at the time etc. I love walking and I'm in a few walking groups. I'm very fortunate enough to live in Shropshire UK, so there are no end of lovely places (in and around) Shropshire to go walking. I was on one yesterday with a group of around 34 people. I talked to just about all of them on the walk. I'm very good at talking to people and I'm a people-person. At one point, a bunch of us were sitting around talking and it turns out we were all bar one or two, introverts ourselves. We all immediately agreed with all the usual traits that we have and I said that some people 'mistake' me as possibly being quite extroverted when I'm really anything but. I said I can talk to you guys and everyone else out on a walk where we're in nature and I'm invigorated by my surroundings and usually by people. But put me with even a quarter of the group indoors around a table with stimuli, loud music or even if people are engaged in small talk and I am OUTTA THERE! I don't feel at all drained today, but when I went to a friend's birthday party recently and had to stay over? I was drained for 2 days straight.
I really relate to all of these. My needs and preferences are very dependent on what else I have on in my life, and a lot of the time I also relate to extroversion! It fluctuates so much, personality is soooo fluid!
Growing up I always thought something was wrong with me but now I'm happy with myself. I do find that I have a little of all these but I relate to the anxious introvert the most
Enlightening! Would love a video on how to express your needs as an introvert. I find it hard to say "Hey I need to go home for 5hrs and maybe see you again in 2 weeks" 😅😬
I’m more of a thoughtful and anxious and social. I love friendships but I need my space because I enjoy sleep and my own thoughts. It’s also more peaceful and more clarity of mind.
I didn't know that there are types of introverts. Thanks for this video Kati! This is helpful for us to be enlightened about introvert people and understand them more.
I definitely need my alone time, more than others for sure, but I also love socializing and being the life of the party when the mood strikes. I also thrive in social settings when I can have deep conversations with people - I'm not super into the surface level chats!
I am 100% an introvert. But, when I find the right company, I enjoy socializing, it's just difficult to find people who share the same interests as me.
I used to have a lot of social anxiety as a kid, but I've mostly outgrown it. I do feel anxious when people invite me to gatherings because I experience a sense of conflict between knowing that I'll feel spent afterward if I go vs. disappointing people if I don't. I'm not generally afraid of the social interactions, and find it easy and enjoyable to converse with people. I just hate letting people down if I decline the invitation, and I hate feeling worn out if I accept the invitation.
I loved hearing your thoughts/explanation of the 4 types of introversion! I never realised there was more than one. Thank you for this one... and also all your other informative videos.
At my core, I’m a social introvert, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more anxious. I’m slowly picking up more social skills that I forgot I had and getting more confident. Finding the right friends who are also social introverts and awesome :)
It definitely can be.. I find picking one close friend can be a bit easier. And focusing our energy on maintaining that one, instead of feeling like we need to see everyone and keep up with it all. xoxo
I was always labeled as shy and reserved as a child (and I didn't want to be labeled that, i wanted to be considered fun), which, i am but later on I decided to be honest with myself and accept that Im not an extrovert, im an introvert. Always felt quite different from my family. My parents are EXTREMELY extroverted people and always tell me that I should go out more, meet new people and just be someone I'm not. They still don't get the fact that I'm an introvert, they have made me feel as if I'm a weird person. I can and I do speak to people, I just need time to myself and sometimes I don't want to interact with people. I feel like I relate to some traits of like, three types hahahah, we'll see which one I truly am. Thank you for your videos!! I've seen loads recently, you explain things very clear and it shows how much you're passionate about your job💗
I'm 35 and since about a year before the pandemic I realized I am more of a severe introvert more like a HERMIT. I have always lived at home with my mom and my 10 year old daughter, so the house isn't empty so I don't ever feel LONELY, but I LOVE being ALONE & by myself doing my own stuff! Quarantine only threw gas on that fire & made me enjoy it because I rarely had to leave the house! To this day I only leave to run errrands once or twice a week and work once or twice a week. I don't socialize with anyone except my family because I have no interest in socializing. >>> I wish I knew more people like myself. So I can stop wondering if I'm messed up.
My husband and I are both introverts. My husband is a police detective and he seems to fit the thinking introvert. I’m the anxious introvert for sure…. My in laws do not understand my introvert ways…. My mother in law is super cruel about it, which intensifies my anxiety.
Great and educational clip. I'm a thinking introvert. I often take interests outside of self, yet am in ponderment often about a lot of stuff ...trivial to seminal and profound via profundity of mind. Your clip is unabashed and unabated in transparency of a great clairity on a needed topic.
I'm very introverted and proud. No social anxiety- I just usually prefer to be alone, or with someone who doesn't drain/bore me. 😅 When I do socialize it's because I wanted to be there and I usually enjoy it 😊 I'm a mix of social and thinking introvert.
Okay, I am most definitely an anxious introvert and possibly a thinking introvert. There were a few questions from both of these that I definitely said yes too. I am sure my neighbors think that I am rude and disrespectful due to the fact that I keep mostly to myself, and I don't like to shout back hi at them like they think is kind. Well, being a person with a soft-spoken personality type possibly plays into this too. Hey Katie, could you possibly do a video of types of personalities like soft-spoken people please?
Awww thank you so much for highlighting my comment. I just want to mention how helpful you've been, over the years. Watching your videos have been comforting & educational. ♡ I find it important to mention. A huge thank you 🌻
Great video! Thank you Kati 😉😉♥️🇧🇷 It took many years for me to stop trying to be more extroverted and accept myself. It's a shame that most people around me ("friends" and relatives) don't care about understanding and trying to learn a little bit about the way I am and that I don't have a disorder. Oh boy... Anyway, anyhow, I love being on my own. I guess I am mostly a Thinking Introvert with a little hint of Social and Anxious Traits.
I can see some validity to the anxious introvert as a nuerodivergent person (adhd diagnosed, autism suspected). I've worked with a therapist to overcome my anxiety. I might need help sometimes, but I trust myself to handle difficult situations. However, there's still a lot of misunderstanding, assumptions, judgment... plus just innate communication differences between neurotypical and neurodiverse people. Sometimes I don't have the energy to deal with it, even tho I know I can.
I relate to all of these. The anxious one the least, but am mainly an anxious introvert with those that make me feel less accepted/uncomfortable, or that I have had bad experiences with.
Thinking Introvert definitely rang the most true for me, whereas the others were a bit of a mixed bag of "sometimes" or "it depends", I think because I may jump between preference and anxiety, while being somewhere in the middle of introversion and extroversion.
Thank you for the information. With mine I have little social but it is because of the anxiety it causes. I also have a good chunk of the restraint, where I have to take the time to do it right the first time, also the lack of emotion. I do worry about the lack of emotion though, because sometimes it builds to a burst of blasting out how I am.
I’m a total anxious introvert. Have you done a video on avoidant personality disorder before? I just recently discovered it and would love to know the difference between that and anxious introversion.
Also wanted to mention, as someone with AvPD, COVID has been especially problematic for me. It's been like giving a recovering drug abuser free reign and access to as much drugs as they want. And now I feel trapped in a highly avoidant state of mind that is increasingly difficult to break free from. I'm curious if others with AvPD have been struggling with this issue lately.
I’ve always considered myself more of a social introvert because when I go out around people I can’t stand large crowds who is a small gathering of a few people or less like maybe one or 2 to 3 I am comfortable but then the next day I am just so wore out I’m so burned out that I have to have at least a day or more of downtime just to recharge and just calm down and relax because I also have generalized anxiety disorder included with other mental health disorders
Thanks for sharing! This was so helpful. One of those categories makes a lot of sense for my way of interacting. Thinking of introversion as a spectrum or as a bunch of different traits is super useful.
I'd be the anxious introvert. While jogging I would see someone far ahead of me on the sidewalk, maybe a woman walking her dog. Rather than approach and run past them, I still find myself crossing the street to the far sidewalk rather than having to meet someone, even for a brief second as I pass. This would be me, getting run over by a car because both of the sidewalks have someone there and I'm running in the street. Well not really, you gotta keep your head on a swivel as a runner for cars at all times.
Hi, I loved this video thank you. I was wondering if introversion/extroversion can change through your life? Or do you think maybe someone who’s felt they’ve had a-lot of switches with intro/extroversion maybe is the anxiety type? Is there something similar to this for extroversion?
I can be ON when I have too, but need time alone to recharge. TBH, the ON me is very draining. I could get into a habit of just staying home, while my family goes somewhere else in the house to be alone 😆 🤣
Since my career crashed, my body crashed and my income got cut my 2/3rds, I am alone 90 to 95% of the time. Not by choice. Busy just trying to survive. Now dealing with my mom's recent death alone. Thankfully, I have 2 people from hospice to talk to. Existing on the machine.
I seem to be more of a thinking introvert… It would’ve been interesting to cover the introverted “only“ child I have no Siblings nor step siblings nor half siblings… I’ve always called myself the Lonewolf! If I want to know it’s done properly I have to do it myself I rely on one of the few trusted people in my life
So I doubt people are either one type or another, but it's a spectrum sort of thing where you can have aspects of all four types to some degree because I identified with all four introversion types Kati described...ty for the vid too!
They're all me to a large extent. I have Autism L. 1 (I would have been diagnosed with Aspergers). It can take a while for me to process what people say because my brain likes to mull it over. Often have to ask for things to be repeated. My husband has Very exciting conversations with his friends. They speak so quickly and it's frustrating to keep up. It's not like I don't understand what they're saying, it's that I don't have a chance 😖 to mull it over quickly enough and also they have moved on after all my ideas are ready to be said 😫
I've completely misused the term "social introvert" then. I've called myself that even, because I thought it meant "an introvert that doesn't mind or even like social gatherings". But at least I'm an open introvert, meaning I'm not afraid to say when I need time alone.
I resonate with all of the types, but I think the 'anxious introvert' type applies to me the most. I feel more comfortable and talkative around people I trust, but with others, it's nerve-wracking
You are such a strong type 2 from what I can tell, Kati! I'm a combo of types 2-4. I still consider myself an extrovert though. Can you do a video on types of extroverts?
Extrovert but due to trauma, became very introverted an shut down also anxiety etc. Now as dealing with stuff, its lufting and I get to be more me... I'm more extroverted. Yup been type 3 Thank you Katy, for showing both sides. one of persinality prefrence and mental health side. Its really important to be able to understand these together or apart. Because I didn't realise I could be both because of mental health. But what about extroverts and leader extriverts etc. or is that different? Btw Kati, I honestly really value you and your work, I find you very easy to understand and very good at explaning concepts and overlaping concepts. Things that wouldn't be as clear and defined otherwise. I'm so greatful for you and this channel.
While Social Anxiety and introversion are different you can be both. I am genuinely happy being alone not just bc I get anxious with others. I grew up trying to force myself to have friends and being told humans are social creatures bc it was the “norm”. Now that I’m older I am so much happier to set my own expectations and desires. I personally don’t want friends, maybe it’s bc I do have a big family (who I also don’t really hang out with but know they are there). As an adult I’m just much more secure and happy with myself that I no longer feel I have to conform to social norms. I do occasionally go out to eat with my mom but other than that I’m so much happier doing my own things almost all the time. 🤷🏻♀️ There are family events I have to go to I usually end up sitting in the other room a lot and reading after socializing for a few mins at a time. I work on my anxiety in therapy for other things but wanting friends is not one of them. 🤷🏻♀️
As a child, being quiet and anxious about large groups settings and not seeming that anyone understood that. I remember sometimes feeling frozen in place or trembling. Being pushed to participate in party games for example seemed equivalent to being thrown into the water and not being able to swim. Teenage years just trying to fit in I was often called out as snobby or even annoying for being quiet. Which would make it even worse all around. As an adult I found my people, I guess. I was most comfortable in a friend group of 3 or 4 total. I could participate with them but also step away when I needed to and I wasn't viewed as abandoning any one person. PTSD interrupted my life and now I have the tendency to isolate to be comfortable.
I'm a thinking introvert mostly but sometimes restrained and sometimes social. I'm not anxious. I'm shy when we first meet but that goes away in a few minutes.
I feel like I'm restrained introvert but I'm not emotionless, i can feel others emotions on very high level but I prefer to stay practical at a times rather than overreacting and getting into unnecessary thoughts or emotions, i can just stop my mind.
Yup, hit all four points! LoL But number 3 seems to have decreased with age. Now i tend to directly interact with a person or situation and that kills the anxiety. But like i said this doesnt happen much anymore.
I think people think of me in a bad way so I just like being alone and stay in my room even around family I get really anxious around people including family and friends even in zoom meetings with doctors and or friends I think a lot about people trying to hurt me so I just be alone
I’m a mix of thinking introvert and anxious introvert. I knew there was a spectrum of introverts! I don’t relate to all introverts some I get along well with and some not so much depending on personality type of course :) There are some extroverts who I get along with and some with who I don’t. It would be interesting to see a spectrum of extroverts video.
I think I'm a weird combination, overall I really need to feel energetic to have interest in being around people. There are times when my friend will drag me out anyway and I enjoy our time. I'm not big on crowds and prefer smaller groups. I also get lost in my own head on a daily basis. One thoguht will lead to another and suddenly my husband or friends will realize I'm not mentally there and gently pull me back into the conversation as they have learned that's just me. I do have anxiety but more about bad things that may happen and I'll spend hours going through what I would do if that played out, but it only seems to affect my social situation if I'm in a crowded activity where there are a bunch of people. Like an overcrowded grocery store or event. I tend to be that one in an emergency that can remain completely unemotional and deal with the problems in front of me as needed, but afterward is when I become emotional. I don't cry often but when it's something that deeply affects me I will. I will say though that overall i avoid people the most because they drain me, I'd much prefer to be in my own head and be doing research on different topics or learning new things. This was very insightful, thank you. Blessings
I probably fall under the category of the Anxious Introvert. Mostly. I usually find new groups of people very intimidating. New people are easier. Some people seem more inviting than others. I never considered that I might be interpreted as rude. So I think I could do a little better with this. That said if I'm with a group of people I've learned to be comfortable with, I can even come across as an extrovert.
Thank you Kati No I am not introvert but my suffering from ADHD and BPD standed on my way to make friends except my best friend who unfortunately passed away in a car accident additionally I am still in contact with some good fromer college classmates I don't go out or have activities with any one
I prefer one on one time I like to think.... Analyzing and creativity... intro spective and self aware I'm interested in how people tick I do prefer to be alone but the right social interaction can energize me. I love ideas and brainstorming It's hard to know what aspect of introversion I'm in. I already deal with depression anxiety and CPTSD. I would really like to know how to deal with how the world is changing. I would really like to be able to not feel so overwhelmed by it. I would love to be able feel capable with adapting to it. I love to be able to lessen the effects of my empathy on my well-being.
Being an introvert is just so frustrating because introversion is so poorly understood by the general public, and especially by people who aren't introverts. Just a little understanding would've made all the difference even just a few years ago.
Not for me, all the people that knows me knew for sure I was introvert and they respect me for who I am. And the new people that meet me sure knows I'm introvert and I live in one of those countries where being extrovert is cool and all.
I so agree! I have lived all my life so misunderstood. Makes you wish you had a different personality
I might be misunderstood but I’m not aware if it because I’d rather be out of any circle of people and therefore I don’t really care if they don’t know me.
I usually find a good soul every now and then and I spend more time with that person, but sometimes I can go years and not hang around with anyone. The only person that I feel needs to know me is me, as long as I like me then that’s good enough. I’m very kind to those around me in my daily life so most people say hi or chat with me if they feel like it so it’s not like I’m living in a cave shunning people I just truly enjoy being alone as often during the day as possible.
I’ve never judged anyone for being an extrovert but I’ve met a metric tonne of extroverts who view introversion as a deficit or something to be pitied.
Never mind corporate discrimination which actively penalises reserved people and rewards the loud pipes all while celebrating “workforce diversity”
I'm very introverted and I judge extroverts all the time. I usually take an instant dislike to them.
This.
@@robadams1645 9
You are so right about workplace culture. But I'm very judgmental about extroverted types. Some are just shameless attention whores.
@@robadams1645 Yeah I also dislike extroverts . Almost all my friends are introverts. We get along quite well .
Social introvert here, who thought all the time that I was an extrovert because people told me so, but I felt so burnt being in a big social setting. People think on me like a social butterfly. The fact that I'm an easy talker, I can do small talk and reach unknown people if needed or I can speak in public doesn't take away how draining it can be.
As a child I never got bored alone. I was constantly doing stuff by myself. I also had and still have a very good and dear friend, introvert like me. My grandmother used to force me go outside and play with the kids in the neighborhood because I would rather stay in my room and read. As a nurse I had to talk and communicate with patients, colleagues and different people all the time, so people who see me outside of work are extremely surprised to find out how "quiet" I am. Usually they ask "Is everything ok with you?" and I always answer: "Yes", which is true. The dialogues can be quite monosyllabic. So, they are not convinced that everything is ok and get very confused, I can see it on their faces :)
Can you be a combination of them all? 😂 I’m heavily anxious, and comfortable with a few close friends, love listening/ learning but really avoidant. I’m very reserved, and frequently unemotional 🤦🏻♀️
I’m with you🙏🏾❤️
I also find myself in all four types 🤦🏽♀️
Same wow😭
Yup. Same.
Was just gonna ask the same thing. As she's going through the different traits of each, I'm like "oh that sounds like me" for pretty much all of them.
Great video. Very helpful and reassuring. The term "shame spiral" I suffer with that. Glad to know I'm not alone in thinking like that sometimes. Even better when I passes - feels like you can breath again! Thank you.
07:04 "Have you ever been confused as a person who is rude?" OMG YES. I almost shouted out loud when I heard this.
xoxox
People used to tell my mom they thought I was rude all the time (she was our bus driver) and she was always telling me to stop reading and talk to them instead.
That hits hard. That's why it's important for people to be knowledgeable about being introvert.
Yep even got picked on at school as a kid. I was "stuck up" "anti social" " rude a**hole" . My anxiety was just through the roof ya know. I usually hate social gatherings. But now if I find a person or t two I can talk with about a shared interest or hobby I'm fine. It just takes me a bit longer to open up to people.
I am definitely an introvert, in that I need a lot of alone time to brainstorm, but I'm willing to turn on the "socialisation" function whenever necessary. 💞
I am that way too!! xoxo
I'm like that also. I prefer hearing my own thoughts.
There is too much are srimulus bombarding us daily.
Being alone is like a gift to recharge and just be.
I also have a need to understand why people behave the way we do.
I have slso been accused of being too curious, as if that was something bad, which I never felt it could be.
I can enjoy social activities on occasions, but only if there is something that stimulates my mind.
@Trina Q same with me
That's great ❤
@@Katimorton me too 🤗🤗
I thought I was a social introvert but the thinking introvert surprised me and resonated with me even more. I can be in a small gathering, somewhat enjoying the interaction, but mindscaping and thinking about the evening ahead, when they go away and I can be alone (with cats) in my room devouring content on psychology, philosophy, history and all the topics that interest me and that I don't get to discuss with anyone in real life.
I am an introvert & that's all the time I'm gonna waste on thinking about it. You are what you are, we're only here for a short time & spend too much of it trying to put labels on everything.
Do what you gotta do but let others as well... if they want/need labels, let them.
Totally fair. xoxo
@@GGray. Yup. And Both of you are correct.
I'm definitely partly the thinker, if not totally. But I think it's because I love to write, so I live most of my life in my head ^^
Great video, as always! I’m the restrained introvert. I pause before I answer - to the point where people will say “Hello?” Thinking the call has dropped.
I understand the “unemotional” in crisis situations. I always take a beat before I answer or act. It’s become habitual. So when an emergency arises, some people might call it unemotional, but really it’s just me calming myself down so I can react competently. Panic causes mistakes.
This trait has served me and others well over the years, particularly when the stakes are high. But on the daily, people don’t understand it. Sometimes they ask me a question, and when I pause, they get worried they are making me uncomfortable and will rescue me by answering for me. It isn’t necessary, but I have nice friends, so I always find this demonstration of concern touching.
I'm 100% an introvert, not even remotely on the middle of the spectrum. From these types, I'm definitely a social introvert (with a few anxious traits depending on the situation). Even if I'm planning on meeting really close friends who I enjoy spending time with, it is draining and I have to mentally prepare for it.
I'm type 1,2 and 3. And finally at age 63 no longer feel less than extroverts and dont feel the need to be more lively around people.
Very interesting vid as always Kati. I feel a connection with all four.
I am so glad you enjoyed it!! I think most of us on the more introverted side do connect with all four types. xoxo
all of these resonated with me!! I think I'm definitely an anxious introvert, and in fact I mistook a lot of my anxiety symptoms as "just being an introvert" for a long time! But I also do need time to step away and think in order to respond thoughtfully and intentionally. Gonna have to check out that book!
Definitely an anxious introvert, but nobody never called me rude, but just silent, what hurts so much. I hate when people assume that they know you just for the first impressions.
On another hand, my tolerance to rejection, being told "no" or getting a bad reply is very low in many cases that I avoid the situation at all cost.
I struggle so much meeting new people and I actually shouldn't because I live laughing and being always possitive but when I meet somebody I change completely, I look like more serious and I feel like I loose my personality, I don't act natural and I feel like pushed to say something all the time to fill uncomfortable silence.
I find being around people very stressful. After about an hour in peoples company, I start to get panic attacks and have to then hide behind my phone or book, which can make me seem rude or uncaring.
I always considered myself an extrovert with introverted tendencies, but thinking introvert fits me perfectly.
I don't comment much but you're extremely helpful. I'm happy to see you look like you're in a much healthier place.
Thank you ❤️
I find this topic so interesting, especially after the pandemic with the isolation we all experienced during the lockdowns. We human beings are genuinely social creatures, but even that need for social interaction varies on a spectrum. I tend to be talkative - which is something I’m trying to curb as I get older. If I’m feeling awkward or anxious, I tend to be talkative to distract from the discomfort. If I’m happy, I tend to be bubbly and chatter happily. It would seem to some that I’m some kind of social butterfly extrovert but at the end of a day where I’m doing a lot of socializing and meeting new people, I don’t feel energized at all. I’m completely exhausted, and all I want to do is climb into a hidey-hole someplace to chill out. I may have enjoyed every moment of a day like that, but it draws on my mental energies because people are important to me. I often feel joyful around other people, but that doesn’t change the fact that it requires more energy from me than it does for my siblings who are extroverts and very socially skilled and graceful with others. I have fewer relationships, but they have more depth and most have lasted for years. It’s just more “my speed” somehow. I’ve never really understood my own introversion all that well, except as a cap on my energy level when I’m at a conference or maybe at a party, where I’m sitting near the pets or having a quiet conversation on the outskirts of the main “conversation pit”. I’m glad there’s more research taking place on personality attributes like introversion and extroversion and ambiversion (if that’s really a thing - it feels intuitively like it could or should be).
Thanks for sharing this video - I enjoy your content. :-)
I'm an introvert. Ive always known that. I definitely am the first one, a Social introvert. I just prefer to be alone most of the time. I have no social anxiety, I dont fit with the 3rd one. I could have a little of the second one but didn't know that is introversion. I love to think about things and learning and knowledge. Im a flight attendant and we often will have 3 hours in an airport between flights and sometimes the crews want to hang out with each other, go eat together, sit together. I hate it. I generally try to get away by myself to recharge my energy for the next flight. I need to be alone so I can think about what I want to eat, use a restroom in privacy, text or call a close friend or just be with my thoughts. Having to be "on" making small talk with the other flight attendants or listening to them jabber on about whatever, having to go eat at whatever the consensus is is all just draining and not at all entertaining in any way. I dont understand why people are like this and why they have to be together. Its like we have another 3 hour flight together in a little while. I'll get to listen to u jabber on then.
haha, I can totally relate! If I put myself in your shoes, I would feel exactly the same way! 3 hours to myself to recharge since there will be another flight coming on soon where I'd have to interact with all those people. Totally get it. :)
Hi Gazelle, I think that you honestly just describe the vast majority of Introverts in your post. I definitely fall between 1, 2 and 4. More on 1, for sure. But it depends on the situation, my mood at the time etc. I love walking and I'm in a few walking groups. I'm very fortunate enough to live in Shropshire UK, so there are no end of lovely places (in and around) Shropshire to go walking. I was on one yesterday with a group of around 34 people. I talked to just about all of them on the walk. I'm very good at talking to people and I'm a people-person. At one point, a bunch of us were sitting around talking and it turns out we were all bar one or two, introverts ourselves. We all immediately agreed with all the usual traits that we have and I said that some people 'mistake' me as possibly being quite extroverted when I'm really anything but. I said I can talk to you guys and everyone else out on a walk where we're in nature and I'm invigorated by my surroundings and usually by people. But put me with even a quarter of the group indoors around a table with stimuli, loud music or even if people are engaged in small talk and I am OUTTA THERE! I don't feel at all drained today, but when I went to a friend's birthday party recently and had to stay over? I was drained for 2 days straight.
I really relate to all of these. My needs and preferences are very dependent on what else I have on in my life, and a lot of the time I also relate to extroversion! It fluctuates so much, personality is soooo fluid!
Growing up I always thought something was wrong with me but now I'm happy with myself. I do find that I have a little of all these but I relate to the anxious introvert the most
I think I'm all of them but 1 and 4 the most.
Enlightening! Would love a video on how to express your needs as an introvert. I find it hard to say "Hey I need to go home for 5hrs and maybe see you again in 2 weeks" 😅😬
I’m more of a thoughtful and anxious and social. I love friendships but I need my space because I enjoy sleep and my own thoughts. It’s also more peaceful and more clarity of mind.
I didn't know that there are types of introverts. Thanks for this video Kati! This is helpful for us to be enlightened about introvert people and understand them more.
I definitely need my alone time, more than others for sure, but I also love socializing and being the life of the party when the mood strikes. I also thrive in social settings when I can have deep conversations with people - I'm not super into the surface level chats!
Please go into companies and explain this to managers!
I am 100% an introvert. But, when I find the right company, I enjoy socializing, it's just difficult to find people who share the same interests as me.
I used to have a lot of social anxiety as a kid, but I've mostly outgrown it. I do feel anxious when people invite me to gatherings because I experience a sense of conflict between knowing that I'll feel spent afterward if I go vs. disappointing people if I don't. I'm not generally afraid of the social interactions, and find it easy and enjoyable to converse with people. I just hate letting people down if I decline the invitation, and I hate feeling worn out if I accept the invitation.
I loved hearing your thoughts/explanation of the 4 types of introversion! I never realised there was more than one. Thank you for this one... and also all your other informative videos.
At my core, I’m a social introvert, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more anxious. I’m slowly picking up more social skills that I forgot I had and getting more confident. Finding the right friends who are also social introverts and awesome :)
I'm a multifaceted introvert!! This was a fantastic topic. Thank you so much 💛
I am a big introvert. Man its hard to maintain friends because of it 😑.
It definitely can be.. I find picking one close friend can be a bit easier. And focusing our energy on maintaining that one, instead of feeling like we need to see everyone and keep up with it all. xoxo
Numanuma song is now playing in my head after the babbel pitch, nice
I was always labeled as shy and reserved as a child (and I didn't want to be labeled that, i wanted to be considered fun), which, i am but later on I decided to be honest with myself and accept that Im not an extrovert, im an introvert. Always felt quite different from my family. My parents are EXTREMELY extroverted people and always tell me that I should go out more, meet new people and just be someone I'm not. They still don't get the fact that I'm an introvert, they have made me feel as if I'm a weird person. I can and I do speak to people, I just need time to myself and sometimes I don't want to interact with people. I feel like I relate to some traits of like, three types hahahah, we'll see which one I truly am. Thank you for your videos!! I've seen loads recently, you explain things very clear and it shows how much you're passionate about your job💗
I'm 35 and since about a year before the pandemic I realized I am more of a severe introvert more like a HERMIT. I have always lived at home with my mom and my 10 year old daughter, so the house isn't empty so I don't ever feel LONELY, but I LOVE being ALONE & by myself doing my own stuff! Quarantine only threw gas on that fire & made me enjoy it because I rarely had to leave the house! To this day I only leave to run errrands once or twice a week and work once or twice a week. I don't socialize with anyone except my family because I have no interest in socializing. >>> I wish I knew more people like myself. So I can stop wondering if I'm messed up.
My husband and I are both introverts. My husband is a police detective and he seems to fit the thinking introvert. I’m the anxious introvert for sure…. My in laws do not understand my introvert ways…. My mother in law is super cruel about it, which intensifies my anxiety.
Great and educational clip. I'm a thinking introvert. I often take interests outside of self, yet am in ponderment often about a lot of stuff ...trivial to seminal and profound via profundity of mind. Your clip is unabashed and unabated in transparency of a great clairity on a needed topic.
I'm very introverted and proud. No social anxiety- I just usually prefer to be alone, or with someone who doesn't drain/bore me. 😅 When I do socialize it's because I wanted to be there and I usually enjoy it
😊 I'm a mix of social and thinking introvert.
All four types fit for me. Although I’m less anxious around people after trauma therapy.
Okay, I am most definitely an anxious introvert and possibly a thinking introvert. There were a few questions from both of these that I definitely said yes too. I am sure my neighbors think that I am rude and disrespectful due to the fact that I keep mostly to myself, and I don't like to shout back hi at them like they think is kind. Well, being a person with a soft-spoken personality type possibly plays into this too. Hey Katie, could you possibly do a video of types of personalities like soft-spoken people please?
Yay! You're coming to Montreal ♡ that's where i am. And i was an extrovert all my life until 3 years ago.
Awww thank you so much for highlighting my comment. I just want to mention how helpful you've been, over the years. Watching your videos have been comforting & educational. ♡ I find it important to mention. A huge thank you 🌻
Yay!!!! I love Montreal! Such a beautiful city!! xoxo
I’m drained if I’m alone but I don’t really like socializing all that much with people I don’t know.
Your reasons mirror mine as to why I went into counseling.
Great video!
Thank you Kati
😉😉♥️🇧🇷
It took many years for me to stop trying to be more extroverted and accept myself.
It's a shame that most people around me ("friends" and relatives) don't care about understanding and trying to learn a little bit about the way I am and that I don't have a disorder.
Oh boy...
Anyway, anyhow, I love being on my own.
I guess I am mostly a Thinking Introvert with a little hint of Social and Anxious Traits.
I can see some validity to the anxious introvert as a nuerodivergent person (adhd diagnosed, autism suspected). I've worked with a therapist to overcome my anxiety. I might need help sometimes, but I trust myself to handle difficult situations. However, there's still a lot of misunderstanding, assumptions, judgment... plus just innate communication differences between neurotypical and neurodiverse people. Sometimes I don't have the energy to deal with it, even tho I know I can.
A little bit thinking, a little bit restrained, and a lot anxious 😭. I’m hoping I can start EMDR soon, it’s just tough when you have a 9-5!
Thank you for this information! I am a counselor and had never heard this so I appreciate the information.
I would be a social and thinking introvert
I relate to all of these. The anxious one the least, but am mainly an anxious introvert with those that make me feel less accepted/uncomfortable, or that I have had bad experiences with.
Being around people sends my anxiety sky high. Introverted definitely socially, and in small ways all the other 3 types too.
Thinking Introvert definitely rang the most true for me, whereas the others were a bit of a mixed bag of "sometimes" or "it depends", I think because I may jump between preference and anxiety, while being somewhere in the middle of introversion and extroversion.
Thank you for the information. With mine I have little social but it is because of the anxiety it causes. I also have a good chunk of the restraint, where I have to take the time to do it right the first time, also the lack of emotion. I do worry about the lack of emotion though, because sometimes it builds to a burst of blasting out how I am.
Yes!! Good morning Katie! Thanks for the great video!Hope you are having a great day. Sending you 💜💜💜
Good morning to you too!! Sending you some love right back!! xoxo
Very interesting. As always. I'm an introvert and happy to be so :)) Thanks for another informative video xx
I’m a total anxious introvert. Have you done a video on avoidant personality disorder before? I just recently discovered it and would love to know the difference between that and anxious introversion.
Here's her video on AvPD: th-cam.com/video/HQY6HgES9m0/w-d-xo.html
Also wanted to mention, as someone with AvPD, COVID has been especially problematic for me. It's been like giving a recovering drug abuser free reign and access to as much drugs as they want. And now I feel trapped in a highly avoidant state of mind that is increasingly difficult to break free from. I'm curious if others with AvPD have been struggling with this issue lately.
@@TonyJL89 omg totally get where you’re coming from, I feel the same
@@TonyJL89 thanks for sharing the link. I saw another video on it and now I’m curious if I have it. I think I definitely meet all the criteria.
@@TonyJL89 that is 100% my experience. I used to be more extroverted before COVID but COVID has made my avpd so much worse!
I can relate to 1 & 2, but think #3 fits fairly well.
I’ve always considered myself more of a social introvert because when I go out around people I can’t stand large crowds who is a small gathering of a few people or less like maybe one or 2 to 3 I am comfortable but then the next day I am just so wore out I’m so burned out that I have to have at least a day or more of downtime just to recharge and just calm down and relax because I also have generalized anxiety disorder included with other mental health disorders
Thanks for sharing! This was so helpful. One of those categories makes a lot of sense for my way of interacting. Thinking of introversion as a spectrum or as a bunch of different traits is super useful.
I'd be the anxious introvert. While jogging I would see someone far ahead of me on the sidewalk, maybe a woman walking her dog. Rather than approach and run past them, I still find myself crossing the street to the far sidewalk rather than having to meet someone, even for a brief second as I pass.
This would be me, getting run over by a car because both of the sidewalks have someone there and I'm running in the street. Well not really, you gotta keep your head on a swivel as a runner for cars at all times.
I’m a thinking introvert. Thank you for this valuable information. ☺️
Hi, I loved this video thank you. I was wondering if introversion/extroversion can change through your life? Or do you think maybe someone who’s felt they’ve had a-lot of switches with intro/extroversion maybe is the anxiety type? Is there something similar to this for extroversion?
I’m def 2 & 3 ., but do have social anxiety too . Very interesting video .
I can be ON when I have too, but need time alone to recharge. TBH, the ON me is very draining. I could get into a habit of just staying home, while my family goes somewhere else in the house to be alone 😆 🤣
this is me 100%. i don’t have social anxiety but i love being alone lol
I'm the first type. I'm not anxious or shy around new ppl, I just don't prefer socialising.
Thank you so much for this. I think I'm a mix? Is that possible? I would think so. Our brains are so dynamic & complex.
*Watches this hiding under my covers to avoid people ✌*
when i see you i feel relieved you actually learn us great thinks thanks for everything 💟👍🏻🔥🌹
Since my career crashed, my body crashed and my income got cut my 2/3rds, I am alone 90 to 95% of the time. Not by choice. Busy just trying to survive. Now dealing with my mom's recent death alone. Thankfully, I have 2 people from hospice to talk to. Existing on the machine.
I seem to be more of a thinking introvert… It would’ve been interesting to cover the introverted “only“ child I have no Siblings nor step siblings nor half siblings… I’ve always called myself the Lonewolf! If I want to know it’s done properly I have to do it myself I rely on one of the few trusted people in my life
So I doubt people are either one type or another, but it's a spectrum sort of thing where you can have aspects of all four types to some degree because I identified with all four introversion types Kati described...ty for the vid too!
They're all me to a large extent. I have Autism L. 1 (I would have been diagnosed with Aspergers). It can take a while for me to process what people say because my brain likes to mull it over. Often have to ask for things to be repeated. My husband has Very exciting conversations with his friends. They speak so quickly and it's frustrating to keep up. It's not like I don't understand what they're saying, it's that I don't have a chance 😖 to mull it over quickly enough and also they have moved on after all my ideas are ready to be said 😫
I thought I'm ambivert but thinking introvert just fits perfectly with my personality
thanks for the vid! I'm a super blended intro/extrovert... an omnivert perhaps! would love a video on intellectualization! THANKS KATIE you're awesome
I've completely misused the term "social introvert" then. I've called myself that even, because I thought it meant "an introvert that doesn't mind or even like social gatherings". But at least I'm an open introvert, meaning I'm not afraid to say when I need time alone.
I resonate with all of the types, but I think the 'anxious introvert' type applies to me the most. I feel more comfortable and talkative around people I trust, but with others, it's nerve-wracking
That's totally relatable 💛
"Do you feel awkward or shy around people?" Sometimes, yes.
You are such a strong type 2 from what I can tell, Kati! I'm a combo of types 2-4. I still consider myself an extrovert though. Can you do a video on types of extroverts?
Extrovert but due to trauma, became very introverted an shut down also anxiety etc. Now as dealing with stuff, its lufting and I get to be more me... I'm more extroverted.
Yup been type 3
Thank you Katy, for showing both sides. one of persinality prefrence and mental health side.
Its really important to be able to understand these together or apart. Because I didn't realise I could be both because of mental health. But what about extroverts and leader extriverts etc. or is that different?
Btw Kati, I honestly really value you and your work, I find you very easy to understand and very good at explaning concepts and overlaping concepts.
Things that wouldn't be as clear and defined otherwise. I'm so greatful for you and this channel.
While Social Anxiety and introversion are different you can be both. I am genuinely happy being alone not just bc I get anxious with others. I grew up trying to force myself to have friends and being told humans are social creatures bc it was the “norm”. Now that I’m older I am so much happier to set my own expectations and desires. I personally don’t want friends, maybe it’s bc I do have a big family (who I also don’t really hang out with but know they are there). As an adult I’m just much more secure and happy with myself that I no longer feel I have to conform to social norms. I do occasionally go out to eat with my mom but other than that I’m so much happier doing my own things almost all the time. 🤷🏻♀️ There are family events I have to go to I usually end up sitting in the other room a lot and reading after socializing for a few mins at a time. I work on my anxiety in therapy for other things but wanting friends is not one of them. 🤷🏻♀️
I think I'm the Giga introvert, master of all 4 disciplines. Seriously, I answered yes to almost all questions.
As a child, being quiet and anxious about large groups settings and not seeming that anyone understood that. I remember sometimes feeling frozen in place or trembling. Being pushed to participate in party games for example seemed equivalent to being thrown into the water and not being able to swim.
Teenage years just trying to fit in I was often called out as snobby or even annoying for being quiet. Which would make it even worse all around.
As an adult I found my people, I guess. I was most comfortable in a friend group of 3 or 4 total. I could participate with them but also step away when I needed to and I wasn't viewed as abandoning any one person.
PTSD interrupted my life and now I have the tendency to isolate to be comfortable.
I'm a thinking introvert mostly but sometimes restrained and sometimes social. I'm not anxious. I'm shy when we first meet but that goes away in a few minutes.
I am both type 1 & 2 and I love that I have learned to accept it!
I'm a mix of 1 & 4
I feel like I'm restrained introvert but I'm not emotionless, i can feel others emotions on very high level but I prefer to stay practical at a times rather than overreacting and getting into unnecessary thoughts or emotions, i can just stop my mind.
Yup, hit all four points! LoL But number 3 seems to have decreased with age. Now i tend to directly interact with a person or situation and that kills the anxiety. But like i said this doesnt happen much anymore.
I think people think of me in a bad way so I just like being alone and stay in my room even around family I get really anxious around people including family and friends even in zoom meetings with doctors and or friends I think a lot about people trying to hurt me so I just be alone
listening to this I cross all these in one way or another
I was told many times by my ex that her family thought I was rude due to my introvertedness and anxiety.
I love being an introvert, I don't care what people think about it 🙂 🙃 ☺️
I totally like my own company . Does that make me an introvert, Katy.
Sorry I put a Y instead of I, Kati.
I’m a mix of thinking introvert and anxious introvert. I knew there was a spectrum of introverts! I don’t relate to all introverts some I get along well with and some not so much depending on personality type of course :) There are some extroverts who I get along with and some with who I don’t. It would be interesting to see a spectrum of extroverts video.
I think I'm a weird combination, overall I really need to feel energetic to have interest in being around people. There are times when my friend will drag me out anyway and I enjoy our time. I'm not big on crowds and prefer smaller groups. I also get lost in my own head on a daily basis. One thoguht will lead to another and suddenly my husband or friends will realize I'm not mentally there and gently pull me back into the conversation as they have learned that's just me. I do have anxiety but more about bad things that may happen and I'll spend hours going through what I would do if that played out, but it only seems to affect my social situation if I'm in a crowded activity where there are a bunch of people. Like an overcrowded grocery store or event. I tend to be that one in an emergency that can remain completely unemotional and deal with the problems in front of me as needed, but afterward is when I become emotional. I don't cry often but when it's something that deeply affects me I will. I will say though that overall i avoid people the most because they drain me, I'd much prefer to be in my own head and be doing research on different topics or learning new things. This was very insightful, thank you. Blessings
I feel like the anxious introvert with a combo of the other 3
@Telegram±①⑨⓪⑨⑥⑧①⓪⑧③② no
I used to be an extrovert. But i spend so much time alone that ifeeo like ive become introverted at this point.
I probably fall under the category of the Anxious Introvert. Mostly. I usually find new groups of people very intimidating. New people are easier. Some people seem more inviting than others. I never considered that I might be interpreted as rude. So I think I could do a little better with this. That said if I'm with a group of people I've learned to be comfortable with, I can even come across as an extrovert.
Thank you Kati
No I am not introvert but my suffering from ADHD and BPD standed on my way to make friends except my best friend who unfortunately passed away in a car accident additionally I am still in contact with some good fromer college classmates I don't go out or have activities with any one
I prefer one on one time
I like to think.... Analyzing and creativity...
intro spective and self aware
I'm interested in how people tick
I do prefer to be alone but the right social interaction can energize me.
I love ideas and brainstorming
It's hard to know what aspect of introversion I'm in. I already deal with depression anxiety and CPTSD.
I would really like to know how to deal with how the world is changing. I would really like to be able to not feel so overwhelmed by it. I would love to be able feel capable with adapting to it. I love to be able to lessen the effects of my empathy on my well-being.