I think it would go the other way also with regards Koreans. Don't know about the cussing as part of a joke between cultures though...it may be taken the wrong way
yeah and a lot of us come from different cultures, and even depending on the state the person is from they can have different ways of viewing the world/perspectives etc..
Strongly agree. It's a very bad idea. An American would have to have tons of knowledge about Korean culture, and even then, the chances of that being "ok" is still low.
Hope that by "America" you mean the entire continent (because it is a continent) and not just to USA plus the fact that outside your country, there're lots others sharing the same view about what are sings/actions of abuse and violence happening.
@@mcqueen5588 I'm only able to speak about my own country, and not others. 'The Americas' are what would be both North and South America, but when people say 'America', they mean the United States. I've never heard an American refer to themselves as a United Stateser. I'm sure people don't like it, but it's just how it is. It's just the short and easy way to abbreviate "United States of America" because that's a bit of a mouthful. Mexicans, Canadians, and so on would be quite horrified to be referred to as Americans. The culture is wildly different in each country and different things are acceptable-- they can't be all grouped together.
@@mcqueen5588 Shut it. Just because your country teaches that North and South America are one continent doesn't mean that you get to pretend to be better than everyone else in the comments section.
@:ミヤン Touching someone you are in a relationship with is fine, but grabbing someone's wrist is pretty common for abusers and rapists to do, to gain control of their victim.
So, is it better to let someone step out into traffic? My kids and I have all tugged each other out of the path of a speeding vehicle. I've done this for strangers, too. They've all been very grateful! No, I wdn't otherwise allow myself (or anyone I know) to be yanked around like that...just in a safety or about to step in something situation
Dude would be in massive pain if he tried the wrist and wall thingy. Real American Ladies would have you pepper sprayed, groin kicked and writhing alone on the dirt. Of course as of this date, the democrat commie liberals would just bow to the abuse becasuse its "racist" to object. So.....have at it. Hope they get what they deserve. The difference? Technicolor hair, piercings, vegetarian, godless, funny clothes, thinks communism is wonderful. Go get 'em!!!!
I have always felt so uncomfortable by how forceful the male leads are in dramas lmao I’m glad I’m not the only one😂 if someone pinned me to the wall or grabbed my wrist, I would start swinging 😂
Ikkk in meteor garden one of the episodes the guy looks like he beat the girl up and then he like kisses her forcefully when she didn’t want it and I was like wtf 😳
i see things like this in shows and dramas and i always think... if a man grabbed my wrist or tried to pin me against the wall, my fight of flight response would kick in lol. it just? feels forceful even if its unintentional
Yes, I totally agree! I would be so uncomfortable with the wall situation. Like why can’t you just kiss me like normal. Backing me into that kind of thing will just upset me - not set the mood.
haha well I love the pin against the wall.. BUT obviously only with someone I'm into.. I would attack if I barely know you or have zero interest in you.
Exactly, seems okay in Korea but in some other parts of the world, it just seems like an indicator that the guy might be abusive later on. Different societies I guess 🤷
Everyone's worried about the wrist grab, what about the chasing?! If I see a girl at a full sprint with some dude chasing her, I'm absolutely calling the police and at least tripping, tackling, or following that guy!
it's all about the context! why would you assume bad intent? plus, you might be able to see they're both laughing and having fun. It's basically like playing tag.
You need context in these situations. You can't just be like oh he/she is chasing someone lemme call the police. I mean I chase my friends around when we would prank each other and sometimes when we steal stuff and the whole chase begins with us screaming at each other.
What if they were just playing a fun game of tag lol (and you need to look at their facial expressions, they would probably be laughing and stuff so yh)
@@dihiufhourfhorgt so adults can't be having fun huh? Wow, that's a depressing picture of the world. Suddenly at the age of 18, everyone looses the license to enjoy life? Nope... unless I'm seeing something violent or aggressive, I'm going to assume good intent.
Lmao 😂 I was thinking of the same thing. I will ran away. My brain immediately thinking of how it can lead to obsession, controlling, abuse and toxic relationship. When you watch and listen to too much crime stories 😅
I would probably feel extremely anxious if someone trapped me between them and a wall like that. Also the whole wrist grab thing, if it wasn't to pull me out of the way of a potentially dangerous situation I would probably be on edge.
As an American, I was always confused by the "aggressive" (in my mind, from what I learned growing up) behavior men used with their female love interests in K-dramas. Grabbing the wrist, pushing someone up against the wall with an angry expression, these are mostly viewed as controlling, borderline abusive behaviors in the U.S. and would be interpreted as having negative intent behind them. This video has helped me realize that isn't the case as much in Korea. However, to any Koreans who date an American, please refrain from doing this with them or at least have a conversation about what you mean and how it makes them feel! If a man did this to me out of the blue, I would feel intimidated, angry, and maybe scared.
If someone pushes you against the wall with an angry expression it makes you feel scared. I don't find it possible to want to kiss a man who have just scared me. I'm gonna need some time to calm down after that, and I would definitely expect his apologises.
a case of diffirent cultures and also in korea and china its stil somewhat acceptable to be abussive towards woman not to much but till a softer extend because that culture is stil very patriarcy.
I think it’s the unpredictability and dominance that is attractive to certain people, especially Koreans. I think that the lack of PDA in Korean romance makes aggressive behavior from males is attractive since it’s uncommon.
1 thing I noticed about Korean guys... they pat the top of their girlfriend's head and say good girl or something like that. As an American, this would piss me off...We pet our dogs like this lol.
@yo yo its not our “culture” lol some ppl like it, some ppl dont its case by case. For those who likes, they accept it as part of cuddling? Adoring each other? type thing. As korean i dont get offended neither feels like a dog but i just dislike ppl touching my hair
the “i love you” part is so true. when a korean guy liked me and i wasn’t even sure about him, after 3 weeks he already said “i love you” in english and i felt EXTREMELY uncomfortable..... like i was trapped in a relationship i never committed to.... like obviously his definition of love was shallower than mine.. and i realized cultural differences are quite a bitch
Had the same with like 2 weeks with half korean half Turkish guy. Needless to say he was a sexist and misogynist, so his “I love you” literally meant nothing.
Because the Korean I love they are talking about I think means more “I really like you” not the deep commitment thing. I think they have another phrase for deep love that is rarely said. Though I could be mixing that up with a different culture
The thing is my now boyfriend kind of did this too ... He is from Benin and I am from Germany so yeah completely different cultures. We knew each other for 4 months or so but when we started seeing each other more often he said "I love you" when I was not even sure whether I wanted to be in a relationship with him .... I felt really uncomfortable about that and all of that almost led to me rejecting him. In the end we got together though and this was 4 years ago now. Till this day he tells me that he loves me more than anything ... So I guess he was just really sure about it but yeah cultural differences are a bitch
I love how she's made her own blend of Korean and American mannerisms. It's always fun to see what people pick up/express along with different languages :)
lmao i love hayleen so much, she’s so entertaining. their dynamic is a lot of fun too because she’s over here freely oversharing her life (which girl, same) and he’s just suffering from embarrassment LMAO
In Korea it’s not rare to see couples chasing eachother or whatever but in America I see they get concerned , like as if I was getting kidnapped or chased by a serial killer😭
@@missserenity1090 did I say something offensive? If I did then I’m sorry , and it’s not really a cultural thing. It’s more-so what’s tolerated or considered normal
@@jxwook that’s exactly what culture is. Doesn’t have to be something big, like traditional tribe clothing, it’s basically just how a certain group of people may talk, dress, behave, eat, etc.
In America, if a man is too dominant or aggressive, it's taken as "he doesn't care about/ respect my boundaries". It's often seen as a sign of an abusive person. 🚨
The Asian dramas romanticize the wrist grabbing and trapping the girl on the wall because before watching them I would find it weird but now in shows I’m like pull her back 😭🥴😂
The "Aggressiveness" in K-dramas really, REALLY depends on the feeling of the (usually) female. A woman might like that take-charge sort of attitude. And I completely understand that. However... If the girl isn't into that sort of thing, (grabbing, wall pinning) that's when it goes from sexy to scary. If the character is into it...then it feels romantic to me. If the character is obviously scared, or upset or annoyed or angry and the man is still doing this, then I feel angry for her. Like, in the drama, they have an argument and one person goes to leave and the other refuses to allow them to leave by grabbing them or their things to prevent them is when I instantly end the shipping and the aggressor goes on my shit list. Fists will be thrown if it had been me. they do not want you to touch them don't think you can put hands on someone just because you feel entitled to control them. This is my BIGGEST gripe with K-dramas because it seems to be such a popular trope. I often wonder if this is seen as romantic to Koreans and I'm just struggling with cultural differences. Because there seems to be a bit obvious when grabbing/trapping is wanted and when it's really not.
i 100% agree with that if a person pin you to a wall or down or mwybe grab your wrist or waist and lock the door that wouldnt be romantic (unless they love that) that would be harassement and here in my country if you get harassed or somoene says something that makes you uncomfortbale there will be blood espically if its your sister
Yeah like I personally would find it hot but like I would have to be somewhat comfortable with him to let him do it. If we were fighting and I wanted to leave and he did that, its a no. If we were arguing and I wasnt inclined to leave and he did that, then yes. Its weird. I'm weird.
@@pastelprada I didn't like his character he was just rude. An attractive guy who's only nice towards a girl he likes sounds cute in a wattpad book but when it's played out on screen or in real life it just looks bad.
America average couple: *doesn’t say “I love you” until like 2 months* Meanwhile me: *walks down road to friends house* “Love you!” *kisses homies good night*
I think it is different with friends vs romantic partners.. so for example, I'll say I love you to my friends I'm really close with whether girls/guys, but if it were a boyfriend, I would only say it if I had been with him and it was serious and I really felt that way..
I once went into dollar general, I went straight into the detergent area for a quick stop when I slowed down because I saw a couple making out right next the detergents...I was like...” *why* “ the guy opened his eyes while still kissing the girl and stopped when he saw I was staring at them... it was so freaking...unsettling
I half agree with the grabbing the wrist. Id you do it randomly it be easily misunderstood; however, obviously, if the person is doing it to save them, it's a different story.
the “I love you” is so true, I remember with my ex he told me literally a few minutes after we were officially that he loves me and I remember being weirded out and finding it so awkward and the only I responded with was “don’t you mean you like me? Not love?” It’s too much
@@witcherye oh, but, brazil is more "opened mind", I don't think "all" koreans do kiss in public yet, I think that the similar things are just to hug, hold hands or do "ppoppo(I don't know how to say it in English)" in public, so I think it would be a little bit "shocking(?)" to many koreans, but I get you
@@anajulia8350 surely brazil has many differences with korea, it's just that when the german said he had seen a couple kissing on the subway and a girl sitting on her boyfriend's lap, i thought "this looks like brazil" 😅
Yeaah I was shocked too when my bf (Korean) bombarded me with "I love you" messages and cute emojis on the first day we started dating😅 now I'm used to it though, we genuinely tell that to each other every day like 7-8 times and I'm glad to be dating such a romantic guy.
them: Things you should never do when you date an American me, an American: I mean.... if they cute and treat me right they can do whatever the hell they want
The “chase me” thing does happen but in a different format. Instead when we tease each other we sometimes end up doing a “catch me if you can” play, but hardly ever in a really populated area.
I think, for Americans, saying "I love you" too early sounds obsessive, or insincere/frivolous. Someone who's prone to saying it within a short period of dating someone, especially if it's in multiple different relationships, will come off as someone who doesn't know what love really is, is psychologically disturbed, is prone to extreme codependency, or doesn't really mean what they say. I guess the phrase has more weight to it here? Some people also grow up with the phrase being weaponized against them by emotionally abusive parents or family members, so they can be avoidant to ever really saying it, especially if they don't think they mean it. For me, it took almost 2 years to say it back for this reason, because i felt like i'd be lying to say it so "easily"; because to me i didn't want it to be as "meaningless" as it felt when i'd be forced to say it during a family dispute where i was a second class citizen in my own home. I wanted to mean what i say, and say what i mean, because i want to rather than to be somehow obligated to.
I definitely had a Korean guy (I'm a white American teenager) say he loved me the first time we got on call. I was pretty disturbed. Now......the thing is, and maybe this was cultural, but he kept flirting with me and getting upset when I wouldn't flirt back. It was definitely concerning whenever I would say it was too fast and he was saying stuff like,"I guess you don't like me because you won't flirt back and it's making me sad." I don't really think that was necessary cultural and more fboy attitude (asking me to lift up my shirt on call) But, I guess the point of this comment is that some things are cultural, like saying I love you very soon(granted not the first call with someone you met yesterday), and some things are red flags, like complaining that you won't show your breasts and saying that just because you won't means you don't like him. I just want everyone to look out for red flags and make sure they're not misinterpreting something. Last point, but if you are feeling uncomfortable with someone saying stuff like,"I love you." So fast, have a conversation with them about it and set down your boundaries. Stay safe lovelies 💜❤️
Eh I can’t see how the wrist thing would be considered normal anywhere...if a man was to do that forcefully (whether ur in a relationship or it’s a stranger, etc) it would come off alarming wouldn’t it..? 😭
If it’s friends and in joke way like “nono we’re going that way” and then he grab you by wrist to go with him, it’s okay... i had so many situations like that, not any bad intentions in it... but if stranger grabs you then it’s serious, then it’s not good...
Korea is pretty sexist and let's men get away with a lot. Their dating scene in general seems pretty toxic, the power dynamic between men and women is so unsettling. I dont think most even realize how toxic it is since their culture doesn't see anything wrong with treating women like that.
im surprised she didnt understand the little flirty chasing thing. normally its like a thing when you're younger in school but like i would've assumed it to be quite common
It's just a different culture. There is no problem between Korean men and women because we know that it is an expression of affection. We're just trying to create a romantic situation like a drama, not a violent one.
the only thing on here that i would be like terrified by is the wall pinning. Like bruh don’t do that, personal space. For everything else, it depends on if we’re dating or you’re a close friend.
I remember a lot of the scenes in kdramas...it would definitely get a different response in America. you'd get a lot of fight of flight responses, the wrist grabbing is definitely something you could get in trouble for depending on the person or context of the situation. But it's funny because even things like "chase me" or the patting on the head to show affection sounds so weird from an American perspective because it seems childish haha. 😂😂
I've noticed that over the last few years Kdramas have really softened the whole "forceful" element of those romances. It can be interesting, but the way it used to be seemed very threatening, from my non-Korean perspective. I'm glad that while dramas today have retained that element, they've done so in a way that makes it less intimidating (and therefore a better example for youth). :)
when i first saw Korean media (music videos, dramas, panel shows, whathaveyou) and first saw the grabbing wrist thing I was so shocked! it seems so violent to me. that’s what abusive men do to women. it took a few minutes to set in, okay, that’s not necessarily violent to them, different cultures, that’s cool. but it still makes me squirmy, thinking: if a guy did that to me I’d assume he’s going to assault me. I’d have to REALLY know someone before I’d be okay with that. so that I know that they mean nothing by it. same with the wall kiss. in movies that happens when a couple is making out/about to do it, but in some stuff it just comes out of nowhere! sometimes even when they don’t know each other. that’s not okay. it’s domineering. of course when I watch stuff from Korea now, I have learned to look at it in a different way since it’s from another country/culture. in a kdrama if someone grabs a wrist I’m like “omg” but when it happens irl or in an American film it’s genuinely frightening.
When it comes to the things discussed in this video it just depends on the person. Everyone is different and some people might not be ok with those things while others think it’s romantic. So it really just depends on the person. Just talk with your partner about what they’re comfortable with and what their boundaries are and don’t worry what anyone else thinks. It’s what you’re comfortable with as a couple
I just watched a video forget the show name but Heechul was on there as well as Min Kyung Hoon and 2 therapist brothers as well as other cast mates. They were discussing actual abusive behavior that’s portrayed in dramas. The wall slam and wrist grab was one of them
For me as an American it would depend on how the person said I love you. If we were having fun and in a upbeat tone they were like "Oh my God, I love you", I would think nothing of it. If we were at dinner in a more serious setting and they looked into my eyes and said it early then I would be weirded out a bit. LOL
I'm from Europe and for me "I love you" has a deep meaning, so if a guy or girl says that on the first day it's a bit ehhh- So for me I'd need to reach that state of affection and love before I say "I love you" I hope it makes sense😅
I'm pretty sure the wall thing would only be accepted if it was your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, you spoke to them about it/let them know your intentions/asked permission and you both have a lot of trust between you. Otherwise it comes off as aggressive/abusive/controlling in the States and many other parts of the world.
Lol the art of saying “I love you”. When my husband first asked me out, he had never had a girlfriend before. He had been interested in other girls before but the relationship never went anywhere. I had dated a couple guys before so I knew not to say “I love you” until he does. Well he and I had known each other since we were young and had been best friends before. Bless his heart, he asked me out and then as he’s walking me to my car, he opens my door for me and says, “Bye! I love you!” I was really surprised he said it so quickly, but I did say it back. He just thought that’s what couples do so he should do it. I felt kind of bad for him when his parents heard him say it a week later and they freaked out thinking we were moving too fast. 😂
I’m pretty sure she said, “Look Frienemies.” not “Look for enemies.” Frienemies is slang for a friend that acts more like a foe but you are still okay with. Definitely never grab a girl by the wrist in America it definitely will look aggressive and borderline abusive.
Remember guys, for each woman that find being grabbed by the wrist or pinned to the wall as aggressive, there's a fanfiction writer that dream their idols would do that to them 👀
I love you is very serious. We don't say it casually and it can be seen as insincere if you say it too soon. When you start going out, everyone just wants to be their best self to make the other person like them. It's normal, people can't help it. So saying I love you at 3 weeks means I love this version of you. However it's not possible to always be your best self, eventually you will have a bad day, be gross or be sick, or have an ugly day where you just look terrible. So you know they aren't saying it because they love you as your true self. 3-4 months is a good amount of time to see the real person and decide if you can love them for their flaws as well as their good points, it's also a good amount of time to see if you work together or against eachother.
He is so flustered by almost everything about her. It's adorable. 😅 It also make me VERY happy that HE found the "wall thing" weird. I will tell you right now, if a dude rolled up on me like that these days he'd catch a knee to the groin. And yes, I have had a guy (American-in college) do that to me. Scared the crap out of me. Never again. I really wish entertainment in general (it's not just K-dramas) would stop romanticizing the "aggressive" male.
For me, I think the only way I could take the "I love you" part seriously so early in the relationship is if we've actually fallen for each other & pined after one another before we finally got together. That's how my fiancé & I were. I didn't start dating him until I knew he was actually serious about wanting to be with me & we ended up confessing our feelings before we officially got together. Saying it just to say it just seems fake & superficial
As an American, the Americans in this comment section are weird, wall pinning isn't weird, head pats isn't and you shouldn't get pissed at that, wrist grabbing is kind of understandable when u say other ppl would think it's abusive if someone did that to u but it's not weird
They are affectionate, but not to the same level. Like people would definitely look at you weird if you were sitting on each other’s laps in public and saying all this mushy stuff
@@a.j.w9992 pff I agreed it’s weird but why did I see it all the time when we still had physical school😭😭😭 sitting on each other’s laps on the hallway, lap pillows and rubbing hair while talking to friends, kissing as they pass each other during break... df?
![สาวเมืองเพชร - ธีเดช ทองอภิชาติ [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kEt7F9PvO3I/mqdefault.jpg)
If you want to date an American... we’re all different. Just make sure you know their boundaries and respect them. Don’t worry about other people.
Yes, thank you!!
Thank u
I think it would go the other way also with regards Koreans. Don't know about the cussing as part of a joke between cultures though...it may be taken the wrong way
@@karenagen6757 of course! I think this goes for any person. Everyone is different so just know boundaries and treat everyone with respect.
yeah and a lot of us come from different cultures, and even depending on the state the person is from they can have different ways of viewing the world/perspectives etc..
She was right about the 'grabbing the wrist' act. It would seem like the girl is in an abusive relationship.
Ehh, it would pretty weird if you are not comfortable enough to jokingly curse with your loved ones. Real relationships aren't Korean dramas.
@@bogueji1 huh? That's not what I'm talking about.
Yeah
@@winniethepooh8353
Lol, punctuation is very important.
Your period made it seem like two separate statements instead of one, so I misunderstood it.
@@bogueji1 but I never mentioned anything about cussing
In America the "grab wrist" would be soooooo misinterpreted. Never do it in public here
Strongly agree. It's a very bad idea. An American would have to have tons of knowledge about Korean culture, and even then, the chances of that being "ok" is still low.
Hope that by "America" you mean the entire continent (because it is a continent) and not just to USA plus the fact that outside your country, there're lots others sharing the same view about what are sings/actions of abuse and violence happening.
@@mcqueen5588 I'm only able to speak about my own country, and not others. 'The Americas' are what would be both North and South America, but when people say 'America', they mean the United States. I've never heard an American refer to themselves as a United Stateser. I'm sure people don't like it, but it's just how it is. It's just the short and easy way to abbreviate "United States of America" because that's a bit of a mouthful. Mexicans, Canadians, and so on would be quite horrified to be referred to as Americans. The culture is wildly different in each country and different things are acceptable-- they can't be all grouped together.
@@mcqueen5588 Shut it. Just because your country teaches that North and South America are one continent doesn't mean that you get to pretend to be better than everyone else in the comments section.
@:ミヤン Touching someone you are in a relationship with is fine, but grabbing someone's wrist is pretty common for abusers and rapists to do, to gain control of their victim.
Haha, they're cute... they seem comfortable to film with each other, which makes the video more enjoyable, I think.
Watch me go with san hahah
omg an atiny hii
Not sans abs
@@flatpancake4501 oh yea San's abs! ;)
@@chris-vx1lz very atiny👋😁 hiii
Yeah that Grabbing the Wrist thing would alarm every American in the vicinity because they’ll assume you’re in an Abusive Relationship.
No bcuz like it's true
So, is it better to let someone step out into traffic? My kids and I have all tugged each other out of the path of a speeding vehicle. I've done this for strangers, too. They've all been very grateful! No, I wdn't otherwise allow myself (or anyone I know) to be yanked around like that...just in a safety or about to step in something situation
@Stack Kersting I think they mean in situations where you’re not about to be run over.
Dude would be in massive pain if he tried the wrist and wall thingy. Real American Ladies would have you pepper sprayed, groin kicked and writhing alone on the dirt. Of course as of this date, the democrat commie liberals would just bow to the abuse becasuse its "racist" to object. So.....have at it. Hope they get what they deserve. The difference? Technicolor hair, piercings, vegetarian, godless, funny clothes, thinks communism is wonderful. Go get 'em!!!!
or being abducted/kidnapped..
I have always felt so uncomfortable by how forceful the male leads are in dramas lmao I’m glad I’m not the only one😂 if someone pinned me to the wall or grabbed my wrist, I would start swinging 😂
Ikkk in meteor garden one of the episodes the guy looks like he beat the girl up and then he like kisses her forcefully when she didn’t want it and I was like wtf 😳
@@aamori8732 fr my friend showed my sister and I and i was so shook. If i was her I would've never talked to him again.
Best response is a kick between the legs. No guy wants that.
@@wpl8275 noted, I definitely would do that if I will be in that kind of situation😶
@@aamori8732 but that actually was toxic and abusive and not romantic at all.
i see things like this in shows and dramas and i always think... if a man grabbed my wrist or tried to pin me against the wall, my fight of flight response would kick in lol. it just? feels forceful even if its unintentional
Yes, I totally agree! I would be so uncomfortable with the wall situation. Like why can’t you just kiss me like normal. Backing me into that kind of thing will just upset me - not set the mood.
I would sink down and remove my self. Feels kind of awkward.
watching it is fun, but real life weird.
haha well I love the pin against the wall.. BUT obviously only with someone I'm into.. I would attack if I barely know you or have zero interest in you.
Exactly, seems okay in Korea but in some other parts of the world, it just seems like an indicator that the guy might be abusive later on. Different societies I guess 🤷
Everyone's worried about the wrist grab, what about the chasing?! If I see a girl at a full sprint with some dude chasing her, I'm absolutely calling the police and at least tripping, tackling, or following that guy!
FRRR i’d be so worried abt the girl
it's all about the context! why would you assume bad intent? plus, you might be able to see they're both laughing and having fun. It's basically like playing tag.
You need context in these situations. You can't just be like oh he/she is chasing someone lemme call the police. I mean I chase my friends around when we would prank each other and sometimes when we steal stuff and the whole chase begins with us screaming at each other.
What if they were just playing a fun game of tag lol (and you need to look at their facial expressions, they would probably be laughing and stuff so yh)
@@dihiufhourfhorgt so adults can't be having fun huh? Wow, that's a depressing picture of the world. Suddenly at the age of 18, everyone looses the license to enjoy life?
Nope... unless I'm seeing something violent or aggressive, I'm going to assume good intent.
If someone says “I love you” the first day we date I’m breaking up with them 😭
Lmao 😂 I was thinking of the same thing. I will ran away. My brain immediately thinking of how it can lead to obsession, controlling, abuse and toxic relationship. When you watch and listen to too much crime stories 😅
MOAAAAA
@@kimbapkidding938 Your username!!! I love it, I see you are a Carat.☺
@@kimbapkidding938 exactly what happened to me. Lesson learned, we say adios to people who say I love your first dat
@@kamrynethridge6287 I’m a proud carat 😂 I’mTheBestQuality 😉
I would probably feel extremely anxious if someone trapped me between them and a wall like that. Also the whole wrist grab thing, if it wasn't to pull me out of the way of a potentially dangerous situation I would probably be on edge.
My claustrophobia would go 📈📈📈
Yes. It would be considered abusive in almost any situation. It’s too controlling and comes of as sexist.
I'd tell them to back the fuck off if they don't want to get throat jabbed, lol. "Romantic" physical intimidation is a no for me.
Same... but being in my 30s now, this stuff wasn't uncommon even in America before the 2000s. Now aggression is viewed as non-consenting in general.
Im claustrophobic so getting trapped against the wall would make me panic>
As an American, I was always confused by the "aggressive" (in my mind, from what I learned growing up) behavior men used with their female love interests in K-dramas. Grabbing the wrist, pushing someone up against the wall with an angry expression, these are mostly viewed as controlling, borderline abusive behaviors in the U.S. and would be interpreted as having negative intent behind them. This video has helped me realize that isn't the case as much in Korea. However, to any Koreans who date an American, please refrain from doing this with them or at least have a conversation about what you mean and how it makes them feel! If a man did this to me out of the blue, I would feel intimidated, angry, and maybe scared.
If someone pushes you against the wall with an angry expression it makes you feel scared. I don't find it possible to want to kiss a man who have just scared me. I'm gonna need some time to calm down after that, and I would definitely expect his apologises.
@@Elenasn YES!!! This!
a case of diffirent cultures and also in korea and china its stil somewhat acceptable to be abussive towards woman not to much but till a softer extend because that culture is stil very patriarcy.
I think it’s the unpredictability and dominance that is attractive to certain people, especially Koreans. I think that the lack of PDA in Korean romance makes aggressive behavior from males is attractive since it’s uncommon.
They do it in American movies too, even choking.
HIS REACTION WHEN SHE STARTED SWEARING AHAHAHA
and then he did it perfectly at 3:55 lmaoo and she laughed
1 thing I noticed about Korean guys... they pat the top of their girlfriend's head and say good girl or something like that. As an American, this would piss me off...We pet our dogs like this lol.
wait I noticed that the girls do it to the boys too tho
i don’t mind it plus a lot of girls like it too lol
@@shaheenaaaaa6275 I would never do it...
Same I just don’t get why girls like that
@yo yo its not our “culture” lol some ppl like it, some ppl dont its case by case. For those who likes, they accept it as part of cuddling? Adoring each other? type thing. As korean i dont get offended neither feels like a dog but i just dislike ppl touching my hair
If someone said "i love you" that early i wouldn't take it seriously and think that it was used without real meaning
A manipulation to get sex, even.
(sweats in me and bf saying I love you in less than a month still together 3 years later)
Yea Americans don’t take that term lightly. Especially Bc everything is so casual.
I like you is acceptable but I love you at that stage is nuts as far as I'm concerned.
@@AllieBee00 Good for you ^^ i'm not saying it's bad it's just hard for me to say that to a person that early
the “i love you” part is so true. when a korean guy liked me and i wasn’t even sure about him, after 3 weeks he already said “i love you” in english and i felt EXTREMELY uncomfortable..... like i was trapped in a relationship i never committed to.... like obviously his definition of love was shallower than mine.. and i realized cultural differences are quite a bitch
Had the same with like 2 weeks with half korean half Turkish guy. Needless to say he was a sexist and misogynist, so his “I love you” literally meant nothing.
Personally I think after 3 weeks is definitely long enough to say ‘I love you’
@@evilpotato1534 nah
Because the Korean I love they are talking about I think means more “I really like you” not the deep commitment thing. I think they have another phrase for deep love that is rarely said. Though I could be mixing that up with a different culture
The thing is my now boyfriend kind of did this too ... He is from Benin and I am from Germany so yeah completely different cultures. We knew each other for 4 months or so but when we started seeing each other more often he said "I love you" when I was not even sure whether I wanted to be in a relationship with him .... I felt really uncomfortable about that and all of that almost led to me rejecting him. In the end we got together though and this was 4 years ago now. Till this day he tells me that he loves me more than anything ... So I guess he was just really sure about it but yeah cultural differences are a bitch
Like how she said frenemies but the screen said for enemies 😂😂
Her:"We're like frenemies"
Captions: *Look for enemies*
😂🤣
I love how she's made her own blend of Korean and American mannerisms. It's always fun to see what people pick up/express along with different languages :)
lmao i love hayleen so much, she’s so entertaining. their dynamic is a lot of fun too because she’s over here freely oversharing her life (which girl, same) and he’s just suffering from embarrassment LMAO
2:22 nahh- the way I was like: "y'all be chasing each other in korea??" pls 💀💀😭 but then I realized that they meant that couples do it lmaoo
LOL😭😭😭
😭LMAOOOO
it's like a fun game of tag
i’m still trying to process the whole chasing thing in general
I feel like the only time we get close to that is if it's a tickle battle and you tryin to escape lmao.
In Korea it’s not rare to see couples chasing eachother or whatever but in America I see they get concerned , like as if I was getting kidnapped or chased by a serial killer😭
The difference in culture is astounding when you compare these two scenarios
@@missserenity1090 did I say something offensive? If I did then I’m sorry , and it’s not really a cultural thing. It’s more-so what’s tolerated or considered normal
@@jxwook that’s exactly what culture is. Doesn’t have to be something big, like traditional tribe clothing, it’s basically just how a certain group of people may talk, dress, behave, eat, etc.
@@politepineapple7683 Yes but it’s not a cultural habit
@@jxwook dont worry you didnt say anything offensive!
In America, if a man is too dominant or aggressive, it's taken as "he doesn't care about/ respect my boundaries". It's often seen as a sign of an abusive person. 🚨
The Asian dramas romanticize the wrist grabbing and trapping the girl on the wall because before watching them I would find it weird but now in shows I’m like pull her back 😭🥴😂
sameee
Hdhshahsbsb same
Same though;; I want a guy to pull my wrist and trap me against a wall!
th-cam.com/video/HZDJ3jil0Go/w-d-xo.html
Omg ur pfp
Watching asian films I was kinda was shock when guys would "pat" a girls head, in American you would probably get kick in ones "ill will" - ouch.
But I’m in America and Everyone does head pats sometimes- Especially the taller people to the shorter people
I think it depends on the group of people and how comfortable you are with each other- I pat everyone on my sport team on the head
A guy did that to me in high school and because that doesn't happen here (to my knowledge) I was left in shock. I must admit I liked it...
@@lepidocrocitequartz4395 Yeah- I wouldn’t kick someone over a head pat , they are actually kinda enjoyable ☺️
@@lepidocrocitequartz4395 The same thing happened to me in high school. It honestly made me feel like he was treating me like a kid 😂
The "Aggressiveness" in K-dramas really, REALLY depends on the feeling of the (usually) female. A woman might like that take-charge sort of attitude. And I completely understand that.
However...
If the girl isn't into that sort of thing, (grabbing, wall pinning) that's when it goes from sexy to scary.
If the character is into it...then it feels romantic to me. If the character is obviously scared, or upset or annoyed or angry and the man is still doing this, then I feel angry for her.
Like, in the drama, they have an argument and one person goes to leave and the other refuses to allow them to leave by grabbing them or their things to prevent them is when I instantly end the shipping and the aggressor goes on my shit list. Fists will be thrown if it had been me. they do not want you to touch them don't think you can put hands on someone just because you feel entitled to control them.
This is my BIGGEST gripe with K-dramas because it seems to be such a popular trope. I often wonder if this is seen as romantic to Koreans and I'm just struggling with cultural differences. Because there seems to be a bit obvious when grabbing/trapping is wanted and when it's really not.
i totally agree! it very highly depends on the situation and the people's relationship to one another.
okay but suho from true beauty was always pulling her around like damn shes a human being and can make her own choices
i 100% agree with that if a person pin you to a wall or down or mwybe grab your wrist or waist and lock the door that wouldnt be romantic (unless they love that) that would be harassement and here in my country if you get harassed or somoene says something that makes you uncomfortbale there will be blood espically if its your sister
Yeah like I personally would find it hot but like I would have to be somewhat comfortable with him to let him do it. If we were fighting and I wanted to leave and he did that, its a no. If we were arguing and I wasnt inclined to leave and he did that, then yes. Its weird. I'm weird.
@@pastelprada I didn't like his character he was just rude. An attractive guy who's only nice towards a girl he likes sounds cute in a wattpad book but when it's played out on screen or in real life it just looks bad.
America average couple: *doesn’t say “I love you” until like 2 months*
Meanwhile me:
*walks down road to friends house*
“Love you!”
*kisses homies good night*
I think it is different with friends vs romantic partners.. so for example, I'll say I love you to my friends I'm really close with whether girls/guys, but if it were a boyfriend, I would only say it if I had been with him and it was serious and I really felt that way..
lol. i depends on the relationship.
@@denkikaminari8008 yeah.. i mean if it is a friend it is completely different than an actual romantic relationship lol
i say i love you to all my close friends every time we hang up the phone
This guy…. Lol
I once went into dollar general, I went straight into the detergent area for a quick stop when I slowed down because I saw a couple making out right next the detergents...I was like...” *why* “ the guy opened his eyes while still kissing the girl and stopped when he saw I was staring at them... it was so freaking...unsettling
lmaooo why do they do that tho like it’s a damn store not your freakin room 😭
detergent is so romantic I hope I have my first kiss on the cleaning aisle 🥵💘 /sar
@@SaveMe0377 lol how hygienic of them 🤩
Why you staring
Ya just gotta move along
I half agree with the grabbing the wrist. Id you do it randomly it be easily misunderstood; however, obviously, if the person is doing it to save them, it's a different story.
Agreed
the “I love you” is so true, I remember with my ex he told me literally a few minutes after we were officially that he loves me and I remember being weirded out and finding it so awkward and the only I responded with was “don’t you mean you like me? Not love?” It’s too much
I seriously need a Brazilian in this show!!!! The shock of the cultures would be like chefs kiss !
and some similar things too. brazilians show a lot of skinship in public lol
@@witcherye do you mean "similar things" between(?) americans and brazilians, right?
@@anajulia8350 in the video they say that korean couples are doing skinship in public nowadays, like teenage couples. this is similar to brazil
@@witcherye oh, but, brazil is more "opened mind", I don't think "all" koreans do kiss in public yet, I think that the similar things are just to hug, hold hands or do "ppoppo(I don't know how to say it in English)" in public, so I think it would be a little bit "shocking(?)" to many koreans, but I get you
@@anajulia8350 surely brazil has many differences with korea, it's just that when the german said he had seen a couple kissing on the subway and a girl sitting on her boyfriend's lap, i thought "this looks like brazil" 😅
I love this girl's personality, she's so funny and relatable
She has borderline personality disorder.
*bleeps out 'idiot' in Korean*
Meanwhile:
"WhAt tHe fAwk"
I saw this comment as I was hearing it lol
@@yourfriendmimi2759 ?
@@hisokaswap8910 my bad. I was reading and meant to say hear TT i hate it when that happens
@@yourfriendmimi2759 oh lol
YEH!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I love that girls personality, lol she is so cute and relatable
Y'all Hayleen has such a nice voice, I like her energy
Shes so pretty too
I love how casually they go between each other’s native languages. It’s so cute. 🥰🥰🥰
yayy hayleen is back, i love her energy sm✨
I hope that they do another video together
Yeaah I was shocked too when my bf (Korean) bombarded me with "I love you" messages and cute emojis on the first day we started dating😅 now I'm used to it though, we genuinely tell that to each other every day like 7-8 times and I'm glad to be dating such a romantic guy.
them: Things you should never do when you date an American
me, an American: I mean.... if they cute and treat me right they can do whatever the hell they want
😂😂😂😂Loooool
Lmao ...same 😬
Maybe your despaired
Same
Same gurl
The “chase me” thing does happen but in a different format. Instead when we tease each other we sometimes end up doing a “catch me if you can” play, but hardly ever in a really populated area.
it was the face for me when he grabbed her wrist
I think these two have very good chemistry together...😁👍
@The Manuscript Studio no not that kind of chemistry...😏...I meant they interacted well together for a panel discussion.
@The Manuscript Studio how old are they?
The one dislike is from her husband who doesn’t wants us to Ship them HAHAHHAHAHA
This is just a joke don’t take to seriously pls 🤞🏻 stay healthy tho
JAAHAHAHAHA
Well, she's an adult who's old enough to be married and he's in high school...so no one should be shipping them anyway :P
@@NsTheName Ur Right 💀💀💀
he's a minor, don't
@@Tom0.0717 Haha 😂
We liked Kim Minjae he came across as thoughtful and a sweet person.
This pair has terrific energy together. Also, love Minjae's voice...could listen to that all day.
I think, for Americans, saying "I love you" too early sounds obsessive, or insincere/frivolous. Someone who's prone to saying it within a short period of dating someone, especially if it's in multiple different relationships, will come off as someone who doesn't know what love really is, is psychologically disturbed, is prone to extreme codependency, or doesn't really mean what they say. I guess the phrase has more weight to it here?
Some people also grow up with the phrase being weaponized against them by emotionally abusive parents or family members, so they can be avoidant to ever really saying it, especially if they don't think they mean it. For me, it took almost 2 years to say it back for this reason, because i felt like i'd be lying to say it so "easily"; because to me i didn't want it to be as "meaningless" as it felt when i'd be forced to say it during a family dispute where i was a second class citizen in my own home. I wanted to mean what i say, and say what i mean, because i want to rather than to be somehow obligated to.
I definitely had a Korean guy (I'm a white American teenager) say he loved me the first time we got on call. I was pretty disturbed. Now......the thing is, and maybe this was cultural, but he kept flirting with me and getting upset when I wouldn't flirt back. It was definitely concerning whenever I would say it was too fast and he was saying stuff like,"I guess you don't like me because you won't flirt back and it's making me sad." I don't really think that was necessary cultural and more fboy attitude (asking me to lift up my shirt on call)
But, I guess the point of this comment is that some things are cultural, like saying I love you very soon(granted not the first call with someone you met yesterday), and some things are red flags, like complaining that you won't show your breasts and saying that just because you won't means you don't like him. I just want everyone to look out for red flags and make sure they're not misinterpreting something. Last point, but if you are feeling uncomfortable with someone saying stuff like,"I love you." So fast, have a conversation with them about it and set down your boundaries. Stay safe lovelies 💜❤️
6:52 " I'm innocent" Loved it! Hahahahshs
I'd love to see a webtoon with the same culture difference between the main characters but this same chemistry here. I would totally read it.
She saw the wall kiss, she said "PFFT-" 💀
"What's wrong with kids these days?" IKR
Eh I can’t see how the wrist thing would be considered normal anywhere...if a man was to do that forcefully (whether ur in a relationship or it’s a stranger, etc) it would come off alarming wouldn’t it..? 😭
Depending on who did it. I would get scared or mad and think I was being kidnapped
If it’s friends and in joke way like “nono we’re going that way” and then he grab you by wrist to go with him, it’s okay... i had so many situations like that, not any bad intentions in it... but if stranger grabs you then it’s serious, then it’s not good...
What if its a woman
I mean if it’s just to indicate you that you’re going to the wrong way or that you will be hit by a car i would be ok with it
Korea is pretty sexist and let's men get away with a lot. Their dating scene in general seems pretty toxic, the power dynamic between men and women is so unsettling. I dont think most even realize how toxic it is since their culture doesn't see anything wrong with treating women like that.
Lmao they really are like frenemies!! 😂
I love her she’s seriously the best rep on this channel cause this is how we all act
im surprised she didnt understand the little flirty chasing thing. normally its like a thing when you're younger in school but like i would've assumed it to be quite common
The coolest part of this video is how they just switch between English and Korean on the fly.
I feel like yes some would be misunderstood in America but it's also up to the the couple and what they are comfortable with.
I completely agree with you
It's just a different culture. There is no problem between Korean men and women because we know that it is an expression of affection. We're just trying to create a romantic situation like a drama, not a violent one.
this type of behavior is based on traditional roles of men (dominant) and women (submissive) which have roots in misogyny. misogyny isn't a culture.
@@kateraspberry7634 Yeah, yeah. You're absolutely right. So don't talk to me. I don't talk to people like you.
@@zeromin6988 wow so offended by the truth
@@kateraspberry7634 A stupid inferiority complex often offends me. Not the truth😉
@@zeromin6988 psychology isn't your thing unfortunately 😟 neither logic and sociology
I LOVE Hayleen! She sounds very energetic, straight to the point, and open! Certified American! 🤣
More of Her, please!
Bring them both back again she’s funny 😭 and very down to earth
Why is no one talking about how cute and beautiful this girl is !!
Me with no relationship experience politely listening to this vid 🥲
She is absolutely gorgeous, especially with her sweet personality
the only thing on here that i would be like terrified by is the wall pinning. Like bruh don’t do that, personal space. For everything else, it depends on if we’re dating or you’re a close friend.
I remember a lot of the scenes in kdramas...it would definitely get a different response in America. you'd get a lot of fight of flight responses, the wrist grabbing is definitely something you could get in trouble for depending on the person or context of the situation. But it's funny because even things like "chase me" or the patting on the head to show affection sounds so weird from an American perspective because it seems childish haha. 😂😂
Ella es tan sincera al responder las preguntas, me encanta la gente así. Son súper entretenidas. 😂👍
the girl is so likable, shes gives off such nice energy
I've noticed that over the last few years Kdramas have really softened the whole "forceful" element of those romances. It can be interesting, but the way it used to be seemed very threatening, from my non-Korean perspective. I'm glad that while dramas today have retained that element, they've done so in a way that makes it less intimidating (and therefore a better example for youth). :)
La manera en que el chico dijo "adiós" fue tan adorableee. (≧∀≦)
when i first saw Korean media (music videos, dramas, panel shows, whathaveyou) and first saw the grabbing wrist thing I was so shocked! it seems so violent to me. that’s what abusive men do to women. it took a few minutes to set in, okay, that’s not necessarily violent to them, different cultures, that’s cool. but it still makes me squirmy, thinking: if a guy did that to me I’d assume he’s going to assault me. I’d have to REALLY know someone before I’d be okay with that. so that I know that they mean nothing by it. same with the wall kiss. in movies that happens when a couple is making out/about to do it, but in some stuff it just comes out of nowhere! sometimes even when they don’t know each other. that’s not okay. it’s domineering.
of course when I watch stuff from Korea now, I have learned to look at it in a different way since it’s from another country/culture. in a kdrama if someone grabs a wrist I’m like “omg” but when it happens irl or in an American film it’s genuinely frightening.
When it comes to the things discussed in this video it just depends on the person. Everyone is different and some people might not be ok with those things while others think it’s romantic. So it really just depends on the person. Just talk with your partner about what they’re comfortable with and what their boundaries are and don’t worry what anyone else thinks. It’s what you’re comfortable with as a couple
I just watched a video forget the show name but Heechul was on there as well as Min Kyung Hoon and 2 therapist brothers as well as other cast mates.
They were discussing actual abusive behavior that’s portrayed in dramas. The wall slam and wrist grab was one of them
LOL Hayleen is making me laugh so much.
Also, Minjae is adorable.
All the things that are normal for Korean couples, I’ve seen in a Wattpad story at least 5 times- 😂
shes so pretty and i love her vibe lol she sounds like a cool person
For me as an American it would depend on how the person said I love you. If we were having fun and in a upbeat tone they were like "Oh my God, I love you", I would think nothing of it. If we were at dinner in a more serious setting and they looked into my eyes and said it early then I would be weirded out a bit. LOL
Koreans say “I love you” in the first week?!? 🥺❤️ that’s actually rlly sweet!
I wish I could say something like that but idk if I’d have the guts 😆
Her Korean is so good omg 🥺
I'm from Europe and for me "I love you" has a deep meaning, so if a guy or girl says that on the first day it's a bit ehhh- So for me I'd need to reach that state of affection and love before I say "I love you" I hope it makes sense😅
I'm pretty sure the wall thing would only be accepted if it was your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, you spoke to them about it/let them know your intentions/asked permission and you both have a lot of trust between you. Otherwise it comes off as aggressive/abusive/controlling in the States and many other parts of the world.
Lol the art of saying “I love you”. When my husband first asked me out, he had never had a girlfriend before. He had been interested in other girls before but the relationship never went anywhere. I had dated a couple guys before so I knew not to say “I love you” until he does. Well he and I had known each other since we were young and had been best friends before. Bless his heart, he asked me out and then as he’s walking me to my car, he opens my door for me and says, “Bye! I love you!” I was really surprised he said it so quickly, but I did say it back. He just thought that’s what couples do so he should do it. I felt kind of bad for him when his parents heard him say it a week later and they freaked out thinking we were moving too fast. 😂
I’m pretty sure she said, “Look Frienemies.” not “Look for enemies.” Frienemies is slang for a friend that acts more like a foe but you are still okay with.
Definitely never grab a girl by the wrist in America it definitely will look aggressive and borderline abusive.
I would happily accept any form of physical contact as long it’s not harmful or abusive
Her voice is so CUTE 😍
Remember guys, for each woman that find being grabbed by the wrist or pinned to the wall as aggressive, there's a fanfiction writer that dream their idols would do that to them 👀
him: america has been a dream for me
you’re gonna regret it.
I love you is very serious. We don't say it casually and it can be seen as insincere if you say it too soon. When you start going out, everyone just wants to be their best self to make the other person like them. It's normal, people can't help it. So saying I love you at 3 weeks means I love this version of you. However it's not possible to always be your best self, eventually you will have a bad day, be gross or be sick, or have an ugly day where you just look terrible. So you know they aren't saying it because they love you as your true self. 3-4 months is a good amount of time to see the real person and decide if you can love them for their flaws as well as their good points, it's also a good amount of time to see if you work together or against eachother.
He is so flustered by almost everything about her. It's adorable. 😅 It also make me VERY happy that HE found the "wall thing" weird. I will tell you right now, if a dude rolled up on me like that these days he'd catch a knee to the groin. And yes, I have had a guy (American-in college) do that to me. Scared the crap out of me. Never again. I really wish entertainment in general (it's not just K-dramas) would stop romanticizing the "aggressive" male.
Him: I love you
Hayleen: okay, thanks
She is such a mood LMAOOOOO
I feel like kdramas corrupted me because I like all the stuff they do lmao
I kind of love their chemistry they are both so chill lol very fun to compare norms, I haven't thought about a lot of these differences
Lol, this guy is great!
All of the people in your videos seem so nice I love it!
Looooove these two together, they're so much fun to watch!
I guess since I'm a Canadian I don't have a say in this, but I would NOT mind the wall kiss. LMAO.
For me, I think the only way I could take the "I love you" part seriously so early in the relationship is if we've actually fallen for each other & pined after one another before we finally got together. That's how my fiancé & I were. I didn't start dating him until I knew he was actually serious about wanting to be with me & we ended up confessing our feelings before we officially got together. Saying it just to say it just seems fake & superficial
As an American, the Americans in this comment section are weird, wall pinning isn't weird, head pats isn't and you shouldn't get pissed at that, wrist grabbing is kind of understandable when u say other ppl would think it's abusive if someone did that to u but it's not weird
Americans are definitely affectionate in public lol. I see it all the damn time.
That's what I was gonna point out. In different places I can understand. But American couples do display affection a lot
They are affectionate, but not to the same level. Like people would definitely look at you weird if you were sitting on each other’s laps in public and saying all this mushy stuff
@@a.j.w9992 pff I agreed it’s weird but why did I see it all the time when we still had physical school😭😭😭 sitting on each other’s laps on the hallway, lap pillows and rubbing hair while talking to friends, kissing as they pass each other during break... df?
I love their energy together 😂 Very entertaining to watch
"only dated 2 guys in her time in korea" what, i'm 19 and have dated 0 guys, someone get me cuffed
Don't worry hun, you are young and there is no pressure in dating
I must be the only American that is an absolute yes to the wrist grab, head pat, lean against the wall moves 😅👏🏾❤️✨💃🏾
Love all the way from Africa 🥳🇱🇾