Are You Stuck In Quasi-Recovery? Have You Not Fully LET GO Yet? // Eating Disorder Recovery
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ย. 2024
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In today's video, I talk about something called "quasi-recovery" or semi-recovery. So basically it means you are stuck in between your eating disorder and full recovery. You are not fully engaging in your eating disorder habits...but you have not fully let go either. You have not yet made the "jump" into freedom. Eating disorder still has its grip on you. So how to be more aware of it so you can change it? How to get out of this common eating disorder trap?? Find out in the video!
Article about quasi-recovery (ED Institute): bit.ly/2owakEg
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DISCLAIMER: The information in this video or in my other videos is based on my own experience. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of trained medical or mental health professionals. The viewer should regularly consult a physician, therapist or counsellor in matters relating to his/her physical or mental health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. In the event you use any of the information in this video or other videos on this channel, the creator assumes no responsibility for your actions.
I started recovery 4 years ago. I thought i got myself to a “normal” eating and exercise levels. Totally believed that i was fully recovered, but i’ve been lying to myself and everyone around me (including my therapist) this whole time. Just recently i faced this issue and i admitted that my eating disorder is still in action (and has been for a long time). Actually my therapist is the one who point it out. And I finally admitted it. It hasn’t been easy since. And i feel really lost. But I came across this video and i like the term quasi recovery, and i think framing where i am at now is the first step forward. Wish everyone who’s also struggle with this a good luck 💕
Yeah, this rings very true for me. I am stuck in quasi-recovery limbo from anorexia and orthorexia. I have regained weight since almost a year, and I have learned to eat a lot of forbidden foods that once I wouldn't eat, but I still set some foods as off-limits as a 'security blanket,' so to speak. I still haven't had my menses since November of 2014, I have difficulty digesting a lot of food, and I have days where I am so exhausted I just collapse and nap for hours... which then makes me hate myself for 'being lazy.' I am also terrified of the weight changes going on right now with my body, which is leading me to relapse... And I know with my head that what I am doing is wrong and keeping me stuck all the more, but my emotions and fears keep overpowering my common sense.
P. S. I bought and love your book! I know I am not doing 100% with recovery like I should be, but if I didn't have your book right now to help guide me along, this would all be so much worse.
yes the ED thoughts, fears and emotions can be overwhelming in recovery! you are not alone! but logically you know what you should do. next week I'm gonna upload another video about a "5 Second rule" and how to use it to quit any ED habits and how to get over the fears and overthinking and take action, so maybe that will help. stay tuned! I'm glad you got my book and it helps you to go through recovery. let me know of I can be any help. I also offer recovery coaching that helps people feel supported and guided through their recovery step by step.
I'm in quasi-recovery since I "recovered".
Although my full-blown ED only lasted a short amount amount of time, I have been in quasi-recovery since then for over a year and a half. I still have an extensive list of no-go foods and 'safe' foods. I still purge with laxatives and occasionally sick up. I go through periods of no purging with decreased stress about my consumption, but really everyday is still affected by my ED to some extent. I still restrict between certain times everyday. I feel part of the reason for this long quasi-recovery is the fact that my ED, although acknowledged by psychologists and psychiatrists, was never treated. I started eating again, and could shrug off any treatment quickly with some sly tactics. Plus my drug issues overshadowed my eating ones. I still haven't received any full therapy, and I am at the point where I really need to get on with my life. It is so great having a phenomena like this acknowledged, thank you so much:)
So true about the relapses, even though it's look's like you are "failing" it's part of the recovery, never give up and move on!! Thank you so much again for a excellent video!! ♡
I have been "in recovery" for almost a year but I have just realised I am in quasi recovery… OMG so hard to let go! :-( Thanks for this very informational video. Mooooonaaaaa
Thank for this ! I can totally relate. I have recently let go of a LOT of emotional things that kept me stuck but I still find myself doing restrictive eating sometimes. I dont work anymore and I had to go back to my parents house. With less money, I sometimes have a very few food choices especially at the end of the month (I also have food allergies which give me even less options). So I have just realised I have been using my lack of money and bad spending habits as an excuse to restrict. But what I have noticed is when I need something like clothes or cosmetics (2 things I have been obcessed about), I go and ask my parents the money but interestingly with food I dont do the same... I keep saying the fridge is empty, I bored eating the same things over and I end up eating less food or less frequently... This is defenitely not helping me to fully jump into freedom.
I always blame not eating enough on just being lazy, not liking food, not having anything to eat... and i just recently admitted that these were just excuses. You’re not alone in this. I think it’s very important to admit this and be honest with yourself. And then try to do something about it
Wow. I SO s find myself from this video,from this "Queasi"-state and i can relate to all what you we're talking about... I even went to read the article from the link you shared, thank you for that! I came across for the first time with this term, and it some how took the pressure from my shoulders that im crazy, this is not normal at all, and am i the only only on struggling with this... :/ so this was REALLY mind blowing to hear and read!!
I went through the recovery (with day hospital and medical support, meal plans and therapy...) during the winter 16 - spring 17, and eventho i gained my healthy BMI, once i got my period, and i went for travelling travelling abd lived my life more free and happier... was doing better physically, and mentally, of course. BUT. I didnt dare to even admit it tomyself, let alone to say it aloud, that i still had that restrictive and dieting mind-set, need to control my life and eatings, obsessing behavior and safe and fear foods. And that is how its been for over one full year already. During this summer and during the trip i made this winter, i lost quite alot of weight, and those symptoms have come back even stronger... So i finally, only 1 month ago or so, finally dares to say aloud and admit, that im not fine. Eventho i went through the recovery, i Was doing physically better, i NEVER was mentally free from my ED thoughts, habits and mindset. I kept believing that im doing much better now, but i couldnt truly enjoy my life, and i didnt dare to follow my cravings or let go of control. Exercising has never been that big of an issue to me, but its been this ¨oh i need to eat healthy and eat unprocessed food, vegan/raw even to stay healthy and in shape¨.... I did have ice cream or cake, but it all required SO much thought and effort, the was nothing normal and i always kept feeling guilty )(% of the times i had them... so thats been my life, sailing somewhere between wanting to be normal, but then again being so far from it!
until now, this summer, when i really got tired of this and told myself that its time to REALLY get rid off this, im so tired and angry! and now im seeing what went wrong during my first recovery! I didnt push myself hard enough, i didnt dare to face the fears, but kept avoiding them so that my ED mindset is still strongly in me. Like you have told in your videos, i didnt have strength in me to go towards the fear and dwell in it, so that it will eventually get abit easier. I didnt fully leave my comforts zone, not wanting to get too uncomfortable, AND heres the result! After one full year, here i am. But now i feel so much more motivated, i see what went wrong and what i need to do this time to get rid off this mindset im so tired of! Challenge after challenge, facing the fears, following the cravings and allowing myself to have ANYTHING i ever want! im working on getting in atleast 2000 kcal ´per day, which is against, not only my size of my stomach (its the struggle!!) but my ED thoughts (im such a small person, i dont need that much plaa plaa...) BUT finally trying to get myself to understand that i need that much to get better physically. With all this motivaton im feeling, its like im seeing much more clear already!!
So thank you for sharing this, i saw this exactly in a right moments, and it gave me a term, how to call this unclear state where ive been for too long already! but i have a plan now, i know where to concentrate and what to do differently, and hopefully, i will get some results, step by step!
You are amazing lady, and your videos are super helpful
Hi! I found you're channel last week and its been an amazing eye opener. I bought your book yesterday. This video aboout quasi recovery is 100% me. i couldn't believe it when i watched it!! I actually stopped exercising 2 weeks ago because i was so tired. I really hope i can fully recover now i have more knowledge
How do i tell the difference between mental hunger and emotional hunger?
Thank you beautiful it helped alot
"Calories = life"
GOD BLESS
I think that I’ve done EVERYTHING to heal but my body continues to gain large amounts. Almost up 30 lbs in 4 1/2 mos. I was already considered overweight now I’m in the obese category.
I’m loving eating and feeling fed nourished and full. Though I don’t restrict I do get the largest balance of my food daily from Whole Foods. I included protein with each of my six meals and veggies with 2 also fruit. I do eat treats almost daily.
I’m so afraid that this is going to continue I’m so heavy for my frame and have gone up several clothing sizes and now need more clothes. I’ve read your book but feel as though I’m an exception to the rule that my body can’t handle food normally
Please help!
How are you rn?
Hi, thanks for sharing so much information. I think i'm in some kind of quasi-recovery right now. I'm trying not to limit my calories, don't work out and try to get as much rest as possible, but there's one problem. Because of my long history of health problems (which lead to the eating disorder..), i'm not able to eat foods with refined sugar, as well as a lot of fat and carbs in one meal (for example pizza,chocolate, ..). I find myself thinking about these foods all the time... but i know, when i eat them, that my health problems will come back. I struggled with chronic gastritis, chronic sinusitis, inflammation in the joints, food sensitivies, allergies, ... and the list goes on. I tried to make chocolate on my own in a more healthy way, but it didn't satisfy the cravings. I remember myself eating 10.000 to 20.000 calories worth of chocolate and cookies a day, 3 years ago... I'm much better now, but still feel restricted, because I can't have the chocolate and cookies... do you have any advice? thanks so much in advance!! :-)
Just wanted to chime in since I went through what you're going through in terms of having foods that give you inflammation, chronic sinusitis, food sensitivities, etc. It was really bad and I struggled with it. A part of it was not knowing what was self-love and sabotage to the intuitive eating mindset. Someone said to me that it is self-love to not eat foods that cause you discomfort. I wanted to eat them because I did not want to put a speed bump in my recovery. I ultimately decided to reduce/eliminate the foods that cause me discomfort. Soon enough, my body just knew when it was time to incorporate these foods. I urge you not to force yourself to eat everything that you know your body cannot handle at this time. You should do what's good for you and not follow what everyone else can eat. Your body will recover in time. Just be patient. I am now at the point where my gut feels good and slowly re-introducing these foods that once upset my stomach. Just takes time. Good luck.
I don't want to stop exercising.. Im really enjoying it.. Its not for me to loose weight.. I don't go overboard
Hi thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience. Sorry this has turned into a really long comment but I would really appreciate your advice :
I was never diagnosed with an ED but realised how much the obsession ruled my life and tried to get myself into recovery DIY (I don't meet the criteria for ED services in this country and I don't have much money). I used to restrict entire food groups (wheat, dairy, a whole lot of banned foods etc) and over exercise was basically my thing (for the most part). I've dropped all the food restrictions mentioned above, really tried with IE although I've got lazy with it now. When I first started trying to recover I quit exercising for about 3 months and since returning I have dropped a lot of the counting rules I used to have (I swim so this was counting lengths, stopped calorie counting a long long time ago). I still have the very persistent body image difficulties and I know I still have a weight loss agenda, although I've dropped a lot of my restricting habits. When I stopped exercising I started to get really regular episodes of feeling suicidal and really hopeless. I also have suffered from back problems for a long time and the swimming helps improve that. I don't know how to let go and I'm hesitant to quit exercising again because of the other factors mentioned. I know weight loss is still an agenda, but it's along with other good agendas.. Am I in quasi recovery? Please let me know your advice and thank you again for the wisdom and inspiration you share - B
Hi! you just have to work on your body image, self-love, self-worth because based on your comment it seems like you have quit the restriction habit and this is not a problem anymore, but you just have not fully accepted yourself as you are. so this is definitely that needs to happen for full mental recovery as well. to finally be at peace with yourself. its a whole another subject to go into but maybe you can search for some topics in this area or videos and read and listen to see how other people finally accepted themselves. here's what helped me to finally let go of the weight control and accept my body in the weight that it is followtheintuition.com/how-to-accept-your-body-at-any-size/
I don’t know if I’m in quasi-recovery. I still restrict, but sort of subtly. Like I’ll be hungry and I’ll bring food to school then throw it away because I don’t feel “that hungry”. I don’t have hunger cues anymore, it’s nothing or feed me before I pass out. And if I’m not at the feed me before I pass out point I won’t eat. I’m weight restored, I’m about 145 pounds.
I don’t count calories but I’ll check sometimes and it’s rarely more than 2000, it’s usually 1500 ish. I know I need to change something but I’m scared to gain more weight again.
I’m so scared to let go. One reason is because I take medicine for bipolar that stimulate appetite and I fear I’ll go above my set point. How can I trust my body when it’s controlled by these medicines :(
Hi, your probably dont read this but i hope. I need to ask you something. One thing that hurts me is that i think everything is boring and freetime is just "times to wait til i can eat". Im scared of freetime now cause it dont wanna do anything (it has been this for years and - no antidepressant dont help. This is one huge thing for me and make it harder to recover cause my ED take up some time (eat slowly, OCD around food/exercise etc). And if i recoverthen i have even more time i dont now what to do in. Also cause nothing is fun its really hard to distract. I eat really slowly cause thats like the only thing i can somewhat enjoy, or at least it is something to do. I also eat very very late cause i get extrem anxiety (its been worse over the years) if i eat early and then have really long time to i can allow myself to go to bed etc.
Did you, or anyone else feel like this?
When recoverd/weighrestored, did this disappear? Do you then find things fun again?
And would love tips on what you other do to distract/fill your days whith? (can be anything that costs money..) also has to be smething you can do alone cause i dont have any friends or familiy.
I have done severak serious suicidattempts cause i find all of this unbarable cause if i dont like to do anything, why live?
What do ou other do in the days to make time pass?
Please help..
thank you so much , can you please add a backround music to your vedios 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
Is a light half hour walk with a parent or friend OK?
oh boy... that's exactly me :s
I felt a week ago that I am coming bad to my Ed because I was stressed. I’ve been in recovery for 1 year and 5 months. I started to be scared of food again, checking on my body, and I guess that I am waiting for changes in my body from my sport. Could you please say, what actually I need to do to go over this ? Thank you for help in advance
I have been eating want I want and now feel satisfied that there is no food I can't have. Would it be bad to have a protien bar for lunch if I'm not really hungry instead of having real Food? I don't want to skip a meal either but feel like a protien bar and hot tea sounds appealing.
I just purchased your book "BrainwashED" and overall it's a great book but a few things I read that our inaccurate, the BMI scale what you had written (page 59) is that most people fall into a BMI of 21-25, that's false. 70% of the population fall into a BMI of 23-31. This is on The Eating Disorder Institution (aka Your Eatopia) and also Sarah Young has Spoken about this too in her videos. You speak about losing weight when u go above your set point and you say how to not overexercised which I understand but to do minful exercises such as skipping the elevator and getting the stairs, that's not a mindset you want, someone with an eating disorder will abuse that and probably end up waking 30 flights of stairs daily, so I disagree with that. I understand where u are coming from however. But you should just live your life and not even think about exercise at all, if u want to take the elevator then take it. Your set-point weight will naturally taper down to where it's supposed to he as long as you are eating enough and resting, the body will find where it needs to be. Not by forcing yourself to garden and go for walks etc. Only if you have to walk, like go food shopping or a cinema date or something. Just had to comment this.
Hi! thank you for the BMI fact, its great you mentioned this, i need to update the book on that one definitely! and about the "taking the elevator" the way you speak about it was not how i meant this. i read through that part of the book again and the whole context of it is what's important here. i still meant to be mindful, not "walking 30 flights of stairs" or to "forcing yourself to garden", i don't know how did you come to that conclusion based on what I wrote and the other stuff i mentioned. this paragraph was not at all about restriction. quote: "Most commonly, a healthy weight is achieved by itself while going through recovery and just giving your body time. You do not have to force it to happen."
You should never force it too happen, I personally understand what you mean't. But i know if I was badly sick and was reading that section of your book I would interpret it that way and perhaps it may have gone as far as too fuel my ED as i believed I was getting too "big" and if i was naturally a BMI of over 25 that would effect me as well, I mean I am not, but say if i overshot and went to a BMI of over 25, I may feel like I am doing something wrong with reading the wrong information, this is nothing against you though like you said its from your own experiences and your own research which is remarkable as everything else in the book I have read so far is on point and really helpful for me maintaining remission, you really have educated yourself well :) So son't get me wrong I love your book, I have not read all of it yet but I will. It's a book that I hope society takes more note of. I was only stating my thoughts because I felt if people were in a vulnerable place with their recovery they may interpret the information wrong, that's all.
HELP ELISA! I am a bmi 28 and severely bulimic, I was overweight as a child also I used to be anorexic for 4 years starting at age 11 then the past two years quasi and Minnie maud then bulimia. Is it too late to start MINNIE MAUD again? Should I follow the minimum guidelines or eat to MAINTAIN? I don't really want to be obese again ! If I gain weight initially will it go back to a Normal bmi??? Please help me! I can't do this anymore I'm broke , fat, depressed, and my teeth are fucked up!!!
Hi, its never too late to start minniemaud, i would say you need MM to start balancing hunger cues (it will take time of course) but your body NEEDS more food (AND for that food to stay in your body) to recover. Purging will only set your up for the next binge, and being in bulimia and restriciton will only mess up your hormones and metabolism even more. Start by not purging your meals, make sure you eat regularly, don't skip meals, eat MM cals every day, be consistent. No matter your weight having and eating disorder is not any way better, it only messes up the weight even more in the long run.
I wanted to ask you if blogging / making videos about ED helped you throughout your recovery ? If yes, how ?
yes it helped! I recovered on my own, so I had to do A LOT of reading and researching on how the recovery actually works, I wrote all my book basically as blog posts first, as i was learning about this stuff as I went through it. and sharing what I learned in my own recovery and answering questions just made me more and more knowledgeable on this subject. by teaching and helping others you will learn a lot!
is walk and hang out compensating?
Hi Elisa! I'm in quiasi recovery for about 8 months Now. I'm trying to let go but I have a question. I feel very ashamed about my body and because of that I rearly get out of my house so I don't really have a lot of physical activity. In that case do you think that I should eat a little less than 2000 calories? Or is it OK to exercise about 40 min a day?
I don't feel like I still have my eating disorder, however I keep counting and estimating my calories. Yesterday evening I purged again since 1,5 month, when I ate a bit more than 2000 calories.
Is this quasi-recovery?
I don't know where you ate at now, but what you wrote two months ago doesn't really sound like recovery to me... First of all, 2000 calories is REALLY not enough food, secondly calorie counting doesn't allow you two fully recover (if you're actually hungry for more but stop eating at a certain number) and last but not least, purging is am eating disorder behaviour, and if you engaged in that, you're not even in quasi recovery... I know this sounds harsh, but there's no point in sugar coating anything... I hope you're better now!
@@Sternensaatenlesungen hey! I'm still in the same boat as then. Sometimes I notice I binge eat, by which I uncontrollably eat until I literally feel sick, but sometimes there urges to eat come from a very big appetite. I stopped purging (thank god) but when I estimante my calorie indulgence, I eat between 2100 and 2500 calories a day. Although I'm short (1.61) and not that active. I go everywhere by bike, but besides that, I don't exercise. A while ago, I had this setback, by which I downloaded myfitnesspal again (bad idea, I know, but summer is coming..) and tried to eat not an insane low amount of calories, but about 1800 a day. But it didn't work out and it made the binging worse. As if I need at least 2100 cals a day. Even though everyone would tell me to eat less.
@@santjevana8279 Hey, I totalled get how you're feeling. I've been there myself. However, it's like an eating disorder talking. Or like embodied diet culture. You don't have to lose weight for summer. Any body wearing a bikini is a "bikini body". Really, don't let yourself fall into this trap of the eating disorder convincing you you're not good enough. Because you are. And you deserve to eat AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. 2100 calories really isn't enough. If it helps, let me tell you that I'm eating 3000+ calories every. Single. Day. And I'm not super tall. And I feel great. So please please please, leave this diet culture eating disorder bs behind you and do what's best FOR YOU. For your true self.
@@Sternensaatenlesungen You almost made me cry when I read about the calories. I still can't imagine now, but it would be such a relief to be in that state! I want to let go as well, for the full 100% but it's not easy.
@@santjevana8279 I know, it's super hard. But once you made the decision, it IS easy. You just have to eat and keep it in. I highly recommend you read the recovery commitment on Tabitha Farrar's blog...