My maternal grandmother was British and we called her MawMaw, although this was in the southern US. Side note, my grandparents met during WWII. My grandfather got the names and addresses of every girl he danced with while he was over there. After the war he wrote to every single one of them and asked if they might consider marrying him. MawMaw was the only one who wrote back. It's a love story for the ages really.
As a US newlywed I went to first family gathering (in California) about 50 people. The hostess was spouse's grandmother's sister's granddaughter! Joined a poker game and was trying to clarify the relationships when another player said," oh, give it up! I've been married into this family for 15 years and I still can't figure it out. Just enjoy all the various people and know somehow they're your family. "
@erzabetf9544 I very quickly did the math too, second cousins, same generation and share great grandparents. Definitely not hard especially when you also come from a big family like that where you know your second and third cousins.
BTW, one reason parties can seem so huge is, very often, friends of the hosts are included, as well as the friends' families (children, parents, brothers, sisters). Especially on holidays. "No one should ever be alone on a holiday," is a pretty common theme. The result is enormous parties. I've hosted my fair share over the years.
I agree. I live alone (1 child, 1 grandchild both out of state). So I have a standing invitation to family events with 2 of my friends. One of the friends has 8 adult children, about 20 adult grandchildren and numerous great grands! It is always a big crowd.
When I was a kid, my parents hosted most holidays as they had a large home in a central location, so it was the most convenient for the whole extended family. Two of my older cousins worked as EMTs in my hometown, so it was inevitable that one or both would be on duty for any given holiday - but since they didn't have to stay at the station as long as they stayed in town, whichever of them was working would come out for dinner along with their partner of the day. We used to joke about what the neighbors must think of my mom's cooking since there was an ambulance parked out front every holiday! Funny addendum to that, some 15-20 years later, I suffered a major klutz moment while visiting my parents and broke a couple of bones in my ankle. First medic in the door grinned and said, "I thought I recognized the address Dispatch gave us. Are you the older or younger daughter?" She'd been a guest at the house for at least half a dozen holiday dinners over the years!
As someone who performed in colorguard for 8 years and coached for 4 more, hearing Lawrence explain colorguard might be my favorite thing that has ever happened!
As myself and three other family performed in R.O.T.C. activities, we all took Color Guard activities seriously. I just don't get what the other Color Guard was for. They only showed up in parades!
@@lucasthompson6116 In my school, colorguard was part of the marching band and performed at every football game and then competed with the band on Saturdays all fall. And they performed in the parades. They also had an indoor colorguard that competed all winter. Practice is about 3 hours a day, six days a week. You should look up a video of a colorguard competition, it's pretty cool.
These subgraduation parties are a new thing, like gender reveal parties. When I was growing up, I got 1 graduation at the end of HS. Every other graduation involved getting a university degree.
I'm currently in sophomore year and neither me nor any of my friends have had any sort of graduation party, though there was a school assembly every year for 5th grader's 'moving up day' where the 5th graders would sing a song and some would get things like 'perfect attendance' and 'academic excellence' awards, it lasted for about 40 minutes and family was allowed to come watch
I’m a baby boomer from Long Island, New York, and I have 5 siblings. When you include our spouses and children, the children’s spouses and their children, we number 43! And, very proudly I must say, we are all well educated and very successful. It’s not easy to get everyone together anymore, but we’ve managed 2 family picnics since our parents passed away. Family is everything 😊
I worked at an international school in Europe. We'd interview the kids to test their language levels, and ask "Who's in your family?". American kids would always say "Mom, dad, brother and sister (+ half/step siblings)". The kids from Europe would always include grandparents too. We always thought this was interesting, as the American kids didn't include grandparents in their immediate family unit.
An underlying reason may be who lives in the nuclear family household. In America, grandparents have their own houses (mainly). In Britain, I'm sure every house is a Charlie Bucket style set up with pap pap and meemaw from both parents all in one cozy room. Right guys? .....guys? Right???
@@drockjr well it wasn't how we lived in Britain for the last 50 years but with the price of housing in many places excluding young people from the housing market, and state care for the elderly being so dire (always was, but fewer lived so long), I would expect to see multi gen households growing substantially in the UK. I certainly don't want my mam being left with strangers to take care of her in 10-15 years.
Siblings in the US are sometimes called big brother/sister, little brother/sister, baby brother/sister, but I think this is mostly when referring to your own siblings.
My home is multigenerational and has been since my first child was born some 16 years ago. I love it. I was an Army brat, born into a remarkably nuclear family that followed my father as he was deployed all over the world. The idea of extended family was foreign to my siblings and me, albeit a romantic idea. Now I live in a multigenerational household and wouldn't have it any other way. Fantastic support.
As the oldest of 5, I lived with my parents in my moms parents apt. Along with 2 uncles & an aunt. By age 2 we were off to our own place. Within walking distance. It’s funny our house was big & lots going on with five kids & 3 dogs. Relatives visiting. By the time my youngest brother got married & had kids he had his in laws move in.
I was an Army brat, too. So I married a Navy man. When I was little we would move in with my mother's parents whenever Dad was deployed someplace that he could not take us. I hated it because the rules changed and my grandmother didn't cook the way my mother did. I know they loved me, but they were older and ran their house their way which was not the way I was used to.
@@mgbsecteacher Military brats don't "suffer." It is a way of life and kids accept as their life. I was a Navy Brat and I saw and experienced things most civilian kids did not. Military Brats, Foreign Service Kids, and even kids of missionaries have been described as "third culture kids" because of the life they have following their "serving" parent(s). In a real sense the children serve too.
Being an American of Italian descent, I called my grandparents Nonna and Nonno. Their daughter (my mother) wanted to be called Grandma. And so it still goes.
Having grown up across the pond in Germany, I have to admit that German families are much more in line with families in the UK. We got together with grandparents, aunts, and uncles on everybody’s birthday, adults and children alike. We had afternoon coffee and fancy cakes and tortes on those occasions. We often got together on Christmas and Easter as well. Most relatives lived in town. I remember those occasions quite fondly. Graduations weren’t celebrated. No fuss. There weren’t any baby showers or wedding showers, either. We celebrated only the actual wedding or christening of a child. One occasion that was celebrated in grander style was confirmation. Every relative turned up for that one. But I do remember thinking, after slaving away in nursing school for 4 years, there were no cards of congratulations, nor any sort of celebration…. that should have counted for a little something. Maybe it’s different now, I don’t know. But those were different times, life was simpler. I have been living in the US for decades. We celebrate each grandchild’s high school graduation, and I expect in time, their college graduations. At the time of their graduations we lived 1000 miles away from them. But we showed up for each and every one of their HS graduations, emphasizing how important an education is. Thankfully we now live a lot closer to them. I much prefer the way American culture support their offspring in their endeavors. My German upbringing left me feeling somewhat undervalued and unappreciated. Maybe again, different times. You can only learn from your past and change the present as you see fit. As always, Laurence, nicely done!
Did you not have a graduation? I'm in UK I did nursing at university of Central Lancashire and we got the cap and gown ceremony with everyone else from the faculty of health
Lol, my parents in NYC (from Irealand) asked me is they had to go to my. HS and college graduation ceremonies. I said no because I didn't wnat to go. But my mother decided we should go to my college graduation because a favorite national politician of hers was the speaker. I and my family did niot sit in the designated areas. Instead we sat on a park bench overlooking the ceremony. Rather pleasant. My mother had a nice chat with the politician, much mutual laughter. That was back when security was not a big thing at all in NYC. In fact i got my first job after college by entering big office buildings, looking up the VPs on the lobby directory, going to their floors, rapping on the door and asking, "Can I have two minutes of your time?"
I absolutely adore the way German people live their family life. I’m British (English) but my mum is of Irish descent. Therefore, we have a nice mixture of both pared down and rollicking gatherings! I love the way German and Austrians live. They quietly go about their daily business but family get togethers are a time for great food, drink, traditional dress and dancing. It’s never over the top and that appeals to me. 🇩🇪
The concept of a graduation ceremony for every single phase of education is a relatively new thing.I had a high school graduation and university graduate but that was it.
Same, here. We had end of year parties for other school years, but we didn’t add the prestige of calling them “graduations”. It was just a reason to get together, not worry about homework, and consume enough pizza, candy, and soda to make your spit hurt.
@@zerstorer335 We had ceremonies, but it was never called a graduation. Just a celebration of the school year and to acknowledge our achievements. I think the graduations are kind of ridiculous. Like have a graduation for kindergarten to first grade or sixth grade to seventh.
We had high school and college graduations. There were grad school graduations, too, celebrated with the college/university ones. We also had an elementary school graduation (8th grade, just prior to entering high school. This latter, in 1967, was the occasion of six sets of parents throwing their sprogs and classmates major parties, all with quantities of parentally supplied kegs of beer.
We did a multigenerational home in 2013 when my mom at 62 had stage 4 cancer and all the family came to my house. It was me, my children, parents, siblings a niece and nephew. I’m glad we were able to do it. It was an important time where we needed one another. It was 5 months.
For what it's worth, graduation ceremonies for lower grades - and parties - particularly kindergarten and elementary school, is sort of a recent thing in America. Post 1980's maybe? I've always thought it was silly and likely to convince children that their "accomplishments" in school are inherently exceptional rather than a natural preparation for adulthood. It also diminishes the coming of age ceremony that is high school graduation, which marks the end of compulsory education and, for 18 year olds, acknowledges their transition to adulthood with legal rights to their own decisions and life choices.
Exactly! It's ridiculous to have kindergarten graduations. I have even been invited to preschool graduations -- kids moving from preschool to kindergarten.
We did a family party for my kids kindergarten graduation, but I think that's because the school actually had a graduation ceremony for them. So we had a small party at home. I believe they were both in the early 90s. When I went to kindergarten myself it was still voluntary, school started at the 1st grade. No parties for me or the siblings.
@MJIMBA07 nah it was the early 70s where those type of parties started to happen my dad remembers having one when he graduated catholic school in 8th grade
@@wisteria808 Agree! I know schools that have a Pre-K graduation, then Kindergarten, 5th grade, then on to Middle School graduation and High School Graduation. Who drives this over the top frenzy of "don't we have amazing children"? The families of the kids. It seems like if a kid does what he's supposed to do, people go wild with praise.
Great observation about the extracurriculars. My friend from Norway that I met in community college applied to USC with perfect grades and didn't get in, she realized that having perfect grades here is not enough (and this is only USC, imagine how hard getting into Berkeley, Harvard, Caltech, MIT, or UofC is). She humbly admitted that she thought it was going to be easy to get into a good in the US because "American school is easy", until this happened. She applied to the same university the next year though, after she made up for not being involved in any extracurricular activities, internships, or volunteering, and got in! 🎉 From my perspective, I didn't know she didn't do any extracurriculars while we were in community college together, I thought it was common sense. This is likely the reason why extracurriculars here are emphasized, as well as academic success.
I have to say that extended family get togethers have gone down a lot as Americans have spread out across the continent. Some families only get together every couple of years. When I was a kid my aunts & uncles were close by & got together for holidays. Almost all of us cousins live all over & even the ones that are close don't get together like the parents did
Something to consider there is that you mention that you as an adult don't get-together as often with your _cousins_. Your parents had get-togethers with your aunts and uncles who would all be siblings, and much closer than cousins. I know my parents' cousins would only be invited to get-togethers once every year or two (as opposed to five or more get-togethers with siblings each year). I'm guessing the shrinking family size is a factor here. As the last generation achieved financial success and spread out, the next generation wasn't dense enough in the first place to carry on with the big get-togethers. When the siblings from last generation got together, it was a big party because there were so many of them. I feel an average adult under thirty now will probably have only one or two siblings (if they have any at all), so hanging out with your siblings won't be a big party, it'll just be a small visit.
It’s hard isn’t it? So different today. Growing up I had 18 first cousins that I saw on a regular basis even though we lived in NJ & they were in NY. I knew great aunts & uncles & even my moms cousins. Loved hanging with family.I have one child & his dad his amazed at how much extended family I have.
In a lot (very specific, heavily researched statistics here) of families in the American South, you might be able to to say something about a person's parents with impunity, but DON'T say anything bad about their "Mawmaw" or "Pawpaw." Those are beloved figures.
My family just became multi-generational in December. We bought a new house 2 years ago with the full intent to add on for my in-laws to live here as well. Took longer than we planned, but we are finally there. -Florida, USA.
GrammyZ here wanting to mention being a US Swim Mom who sat through swim meets for 16 hours to watch her 3 sons swim a total of 30 minutes. (Yes, I owned a Kindle!) Two of the 3 are now parents, and I'm encouraging all sorts of sports, dance, music, debate, gymnastics and art appreciation! They're now mentioning hosting holiday dinners. Life is good!
My parents home was overflowing holidays, special days such as graduations my high school party 40 plus relatives plus the whole neighborhood we had a block party. Everyone had a kid graduating in1975, one high school we all knew each other so close off the street for a few hours it was great. Summer holidays big BBQs just who was hosting we were all in the same town . Those days are long gone looking back best time are parents were related in laws, cousins 2 and 3rd even a 4th cousin. We lived in the same small town, went to the same schools played together, grew up together. Slept over each other's homes, even had two houses close to each other at the Jersey shore. I miss those days best times, best memories. all family
Loved being a swimmer and first string on a state champion water polo team. My parents tried to come watch and I almost drowned off the block at a swimming meet. I never saw them watching me again, thank God! I did it for me, not to be watched.
As the grandmama of a sprinter, I know where you’re coming from. Spent 3 days at meets last week to see 4 minutes of swimming. Next week it’s 4 days at Nationals for 4 minutes. Wouldn’t miss it for the world and I’ve accumulated another 5 “grandchildren” in the process! You’ve got so much to look forward to!
I live in a multigenerational house. My dad, my daughter, her son and me. 4 generations. We all help each other out with everything. Keeps my dad from being alone after mom passed. I help my daughter with her son as her and the dad went separate ways. Works out great. 2 story house with 4 bedrooms. Plenty of room for all.
My mother's parents came from England. We addressed our aunts as aunty. My mother, called aunty Joan by my cousins, spoiled that tradition by naming my youngest sister Faith. Our pronunciation of aunty sounded a lot like the prefix anti. Anti Faith somehow didn't cut it
Fifty years ago, only high school and college graduations were marked by ceremonies and parties. Celebrating every change in school level is a new thing.
I’m American and I have 26 first cousins. My moms family is Irish & German and my grandma had 9 kids. My dads family is Native American and my grandma on that side had 5 kids.
Very cool! My family has German, Dutch, and French ancestry. More Americans claim German ancestry than any other. Did you know that German immigrants in the 1800s played a role in the abolition of slavery?
I have 28 first cousins. I love it. My dad's family has some awesome family reunions every year. I feel really bad for smaller families. They are missing out.
@@jenlovesjesus Awesome! I do know about there being more German ancestry in the states than any other but I don’t think I knew about them helping with slavery. Very cool!
@@Godislove4517 I know right! I grew up thinking everyone had a million people at every family get together lol. It’s so weird to me still that some people have like 1 cousin or whatever lol. My kids only have 3 cousins but my youngest sister still hasn’t had kids yet. Plus all my cousins have loads of kids so my kids have those 2nd cousins. But the older we get the smaller our groups are getting. All my grandparents are gone, my mom is gone, some aunts and uncles are gone etc… so things change.
@@ToniaElkins Sorry about so many losses. 😔 I hope your family can grow. If it wasn't for 2 of my uncles we wouldn't have those reunions and would likely never see each other.
My sister has recently become a grandmum. She devised her own special title- Mimi, which she thought would be easy to say. The baby took well to this, so Mimi it is. Other grandma names in our famly- Gigi, BB, and Meme.
Mimi is my grandmother's "grandkid" name. She has quite a few grandchildren, most of whom don't see each other or her much. We all live in different parts of the country.
My kids call my mother Sticky. There was an interaction between my son and my mom one day that resulted in my mom saying, “ Now I’m sticky!” And Sticky she became. My MIL is called Bibi. It’s the Swahili word for Grandmother.
Yes, there are several Mimi’s here in the South. I like that one. I love Sticky! Cute! I like all the alternative grandparent names. Especially those that come organically. My grandparents were always Grandma/Grandpa (Gramma/Grampa) with their last name. So my kids call my parents the same. My oldest sibling is 15 years older than me and my youngest is 7 years my junior. Somewhere, in the middle of having multiple generations of grandkids, my mom was called Grammy by one set. She loved that, so tried having all the ones after say it, but I still was used to saying Gramma, so my kids call her that mostly. The youngest two grandkids call her Happy, as that is how the older of the two siblings could say Grammy. She REALLY loves that one. My middle child called my dad Beebah. I thought it was adorable, and that we’d have a cute nickname, but he graduated to pronouncing Grampa on his own before it could stick. My MIL (mother in law) has always been Granny and her first name to my kids and that generation. My step kids and their cousins that age called her Mama Nonnie, as that is how the first grandkid said her name. But she referred to herself as Granny Connie with grandkids just older than mine. My step kids called their grandfathers Papa and their first names. When my stepson and ex wife were asking me (I was 34 at the time) what I wanted to be called, (as each of their mothers had something specific they wanted to be referred to as) I laughed and told them it all sounds old to me for now. And that whatever he calls me is what I’ll be. So today, I am Gramma and my husband is Grampa. Although, my husband has recently started referring to me in front of them as Granny Annie. I haven’t been so much a fan of Granny in the past, as it sounds old, (I’m 44 now) but I have to admit it sounds best with my nickname. Our grandkids call my husband Grumpa sometimes, as we joked that they should, since he can be grumpy. They like that inside joke. My oldest is about to turn 21, and though she wants a family one day, she wants to complete school and such first, as does her boyfriend. Who knows what the future brings, but I think they will marry one day. So who knows what moniker I’ll have then!
I had 5 siblings; when my mother was in her 80's we had a birthday party for her and wrote up a list of all the grandkids and great grandkids, and there were 31 great grandkids. My mother stood there with a shocked expression and said this "classic for her statement"; "It's not my fault!". We all tried to get our jaws off the floor, but it put a pall on the party for sure...
One set of grandparents were Granny and Poppy and the other were Granny and Pa. When talking about Grannies, we called one big granny and little granny but never to their face! LOL I am Nana (pronounced Nawnaw) and hubby was Papaw but if I ever become great grandmother it will be Mawmaw. All grands take special pride in the names our little ones give us! Good video!
Visiting my mother’s family in Puerto Rico is usually fun due to the fact they are her neighbors. The land once belonged to their father, and plots of land was given out when they married.
this obsession with graduation from every grade in school up to high school is a recent development when I was growing up no one graduated from anything until you got to high school
The oddest nickname for a grandparent I ever encountered was "Cracker". She was one of the grandmothers. Grandmother -> Gram -> GrahamCracker -> Cracker. She found it both endearing & amusing.
@@gillianbergh7002 I haven’t seen that happen very often. Maybe a regional thing? When I have witnessed it, I assumed the parents wanted to make sure their children learned to be respectful.
Larger houses are perfectly conducive to our culture of enjoying throwing parties! 🎉 But having all the extended family plus the neighbors over for a party has been part of the culture even back 100 years ago when many homes were barely more than a room or two.
I worked with a guy whose big Italian family needed no excuse for a party. We went over after work & like you said it was a tiny 3 bedroom ranch on a tiny lot. But very deceiving. As soon as you entered the house it was wide open with cathedral ceilings & a huge great room addition. Deck & pool off the back! Made for parties 🎂🍾
Good point. We lived in a tiny 2 bedroom/1 bathroom apartment when I was a kid and still had at least 25 relatives over for holidays. I thought it was fun, but it had to be against fire codes! I feel like houses used to be quite a bit smaller than they are now. They really got much bigger the last 20 years.
While we aren't a multi-generational family, I do live with my daughter, son-in-law & a housemate. Luckily I've got a a 'granny' pad attached to the main house. We came together to help each other with various health problems with the added benefit of lowering housing costs. I love living with my family.
I've lived in a multi generational house for a while now and I honestly like it much better than living away! The whole family feels so much closer, more alive, and everyone helps each other out much more than before. It's nice to have your family's support right beside you.
As for grandparent monikers, I chose to use the name I called my own maternal grandmother. On my dad's side, as he was one of 11 kids, there were already plenty of grands. But on my mom's side, I was the first grandchild. It turned out I was the only grand her mother ever got to meet. She passed away young at a mere 42. As the only grand at the time, I was of course "spoiled rotten" or "Rotten to the bone and salt can't save ya!". I called my grandmother Nanny. So when my daughter was pregnant I knew what I wanted her baby to call me. The greatest sound in the world to my ears is hearing that little one say "Nanny". But on a funny note, since she was born people have thought she is my daughter. I'm like, No, I'm just the Nanny!! 😉 Kinda cool that at almost 50 people think I look young enough to have a 4 year old though. And I'll take it!
-In the south, at least TN, its Mamaw & Papaw, never heard that anywhere else. -College admissions are based on extracurricular activities and community service as well as test scores and grades. -Kevin's family from "Home Alone" was an Irish Catholic family, which is typically large.
Laurence, I’m an American grandmother aka Nana, so you can add that to your list. Thank you for all your great comparisons, they are always entertaining.
I can attest to the large parties. My ex-husband & I used to host a Christmas party for his work associates. It would be around 25 to 30 people typically. Growing up my family would drive across the country every Christmas to stay with my Aunt, Uncle, cousins and Mamaw. When they had visitors for the days around Christmas , there would be up to 20 people hanging out together. So many good memories! Many holiday dinners were held in the basements where we could pull out long metal collapsible tables and a dozen adults would eat at one table and the kids have their own table. The dining room was just not big enough so that is where we'd set up the tables!
In my family, I had a Mammaw, a Pappaw, a Gandma, and a Grandpa. Maybe some greats, early on. My son has a Grandpa, a grandma, a Nana, a Grammy, and a Pa. And others use so many other names, of course. The consolidation of cultures leads to some interesting situations and names.
My daughter was on color guard in high school. I'm not sure if all high schools have it set up the same but you must be in the band playing an instrument to qualify for color guard (my daughters was clarinet). I think the kids being able read music and march in certain formations was the biggest part of that. They even had elaborate choreography. Their last competion was pink panther running from capt Clouseau before getting "trapped by the Captain" in a disguised gun barrel, and when the canon went off the slippery pink panther had sneaked behind the Captain tossing a meet over him
There is a color guard only thing called Winter Guard. I'm not sure if it's dependent on the state though. But it's meant for guard to have something to do after the marching season.
Funny you should mention grandparents. Being born, raised and living in Calif., my great grandmother (yes, I knew her) was called Nanna. Very lovely lady, loving to a fault. She emigrated to San Francisco from Glasgow!!! And now I know whey we called her Nanna.!!!
I actually live in a multigenerational household and I love it. It would be hard if you lived in a small house and there was no personal space, but if you don’t have that issue, then it can be a great experience especially for the grandkids. My husband’s family is Dutch, so we are Opa and Oma. My cousin goes by Gigi, Grandma Green lol
Extra-curricular activities are pretty much required to get into a good university. Not only must one's grades be good, but one must be busy while doing so.
Being a military family I never lived near any family growing up. My grandparents on both sides were always grandmother or grandfather followed by their surname. Once my parents settled stateside we still lived about 600 miles away from everybody. My husband 's family is quite large, close by, and even though they are lovely people I always feel suffocated at family gatherings and don't stay for long.
Just stumbled upon this site recently. You are quite a chuckle! I live about an hour north of Chicago. If you ever have any "public" events or performances, let me know - I'll be there!
lmao, while we were living NJ, my dad made the choice to have a family get together. we had 250 ppl show up on my mom side of family. My dad did not take into count the number of cousins. we had 6 or 7 lvl show up. that 200 more than we counting on.
I grew up in a multi generational household. My grandmother lived with us & while there were benefits, there were also negative aspects...mainly, getting in twice the trouble!!
For a while I lived in a multi-generational household. Mama C (my father's mother) was an incredibly tough old bird of Scottish extraction. She was a tiny, wizened, force of nature. Might have come from raising three huge boisterous boys as a single mother through the depression. Her word was Law.
We lived in my Grandmother's house for several years starting when I was eight. Then we moved across the country and she moved in with us. I ended up taking care of her for the last years of her life. I am so glad to have spent so much of my life with her.
I loved it . My cousin has a huge 3 family house . Grandma lived on the 2nd floor and cousins lived on the other 2 . When they were home the back doors were all open and I remember bouncing from apartment to apartment as a child when we spent the summer or the weekends . . Great grands had had 15 children and some of them lived there as adults We kids used to put on shows and we always had an audience .
I’ll be 51 soon and I had only high school and college graduation. Any other grade prior to that, one simply returns the next year in the appropriate classroom. Holding a ceremony for every grade level is a new phenomenon, relatively speaking.
I really enjoyed your video. My mother was British and her family lived in Malta and there they did seem to have lots of gatherings when we would go visit. Gatherings consisted of relatives.
I would say that a lot of these American traditions are relatively new regarding kids, their activities and graduations for elementary and middle schools. Im a Gen Xer and there weren't any graduations for my peers until high school - and parents showed up for activities most of the time for some and others didnt show up ever.
I think it depends on locality, also. Back in the day (1970s), in AZ one was only 'required' to attend school until the 8th grade - therefore, 8th grade (middle school) graduation was a thing.
I believe it's regional. I'm GenX from Chicago. A few had pre-school graduation. There was kindergarten graduation. If your grammar school stopped at 5th grade, then you had a 5th grade graduation, and if not, you didn't have your next graduation until 8th grade. Then of course there's Highschool & college if you finished.
I'm kind of interested in seeing how people in the UK discipline their children versus how people discipline their children in the US and if there's any difference between the way that you express your fondness or love for each other
I always have made it a point to never threaten a correction I'm not willing to implement, to *follow through* on any such threats, and to always act *before* getting angry. Be disciplined in your own self before trying to discipline anyone else. Be proportional. Be willing to listen before deciding on a course of action. Again, always follow through. It works. My children listen to me, and are willing to *talk* to me. I have excellent, well-behaved, individualistic children. I blame their mother. 😁
@@Alan_Mac I'm not mixing anything up because what I do for a living people call it discipline when they beat the s*** out of their kids so everybody has a different perspective on what punishment and discipline mean.... Although it wasn't my full intent to really disclose what I do for a living I was actually more on the wholesome side of wondering how parents expressed their love to kids here and the UK and how the family unit works... I grew up in a home where there was no hugs kisses or I love yous a lot of yelling and discipline could because back then it was belts spoons sticks ping pong pattles hair brushes... I don't know if it's generational because back then it was more accepted now they have people like me but put people away for doing that s***.... So I kind of like to go back to just asking a wholesome question on how the family unit works here versus UK.... I'd like to know how the discipline children in the UK because I know they have a dark history as well but I'm more curious of what's happening now just thinking about my own childhood.... So leave it to bunch of you just to ruin a simple question that didn't need to go down a dark hole
Speaking of parties, I remember taking my now husband to my grandparents’ house for dinner. We’re both American, but he’s definitely more of an introvert. We were engaged, and that side of the family had thrown us a wedding shower with every cousins they could possibly find that morning, so he was a little worried about it being overwhelming for dinner. Told him, no just immediate family. Which he thought was my dad and stepmom and my dad’s parents. Told him, no it’ll be everybody. He thought add my brothers, and I started counting up aunts and uncles and cousins and hit 17 including the two of us which he still doesn’t believe is immediate family only even if he’s gotten used to it.
That's because anyone outside of your parents and siblings isn't your immediate family. It's nice that you think that way, though, and I expect that your husband has grown used to your extended family :)
When I was young, we only had graduation parties when completing high school. My kids on the other hand ... the school sponsored graduation celebrations for Kindergarten, elementary school and Junior High. I found it pretty strange. My niece (and her kids) lived with my parents for quite a while ... they helped raise their great grand children ... multi-generational, though skipping one generation.
I had a kindergarten graduation, and so did my son, but we didn't have a real party and I'm pretty sure most of the people attending both were just parents. I do remember feeling rather proud of myself, even though it's probably got a 99.8% pass rate.
The largest birthday party my family ever had was for my daughter's first birthday. We had 80 family and friends at my house for lunch and birthday cake. It was mad and we swore we would never have that many at once ever again and went back to our 30 -50 for holidays. Now with COVID we had 8 for Christmas. My dad has a very formal name with his grandchildren. They actually call him Grandfather.
My kids have always called their grandmothers by Grandma 'name' inserting their grandmothers name after the title because as a mixed family they had at least 4, and the same with their grandfathers, they called them Papa 'insert name ' lol and they called their great grandmother's by either Great Gram or Gigi, or G G for great grandmother lol it is funny how many different names we have for relatives, my best friends kids call their grandmother Mem-may, and my older sister called her grandfather Pa-pou, I think it's because of how many different cultures we have, so each one brings in their own dialect and over years they sometimes morph into something new. Loved the video, thank you so much for sharing ❤😊👍👍
Here in Canada people buy houses and have lodgers who live in Basement or sometimes Garages are converted to bedrooms. Some sibling live in pool houses. Orientals have Grandparents live with them.
I was a census taker in Arizona for the 2020 census. It was right in the middle of the covid shut downs. I saw quite a few households who were suddenly multi-generational. I wonder if the percentage increased?
Totally from the midwest and had a good chuckle at my baby shower a few weeks ago with two sets of cards from "papa and grammy" one was from my grandparents, the other from my parents to our baby to be!
My granddaughters born a year apart , named me themselves, one calls me Abu we don’t know why and the other Mimi and we don’t know why, their grandpas are papa and other grandmas are nana . Have to admit I love the distinction and feel a little special
As a Brit, the first difference that came to my mind is calling parents sir and ma'am. Which, in American media at least, seems fair commonplace in the US but is pretty much unheard of here.
I don’t think anyone - southern or otherwise - replaces the term Mom and Dad with sir or ma’am itself. Rather, it’s attached to a response, such as yes sir or no ma’am, and is used as a sign of respect. Also, it’s not only used as part of a response to parents - could be used toward anyone older than you.
You are so correct regarding Americans and their obsession with graduation parties. It is out of control! Kindergarten graduation - Arie you kidding me!?! If I went to every graduation party I’ve been invited to I’d need to take out a 2nd mortgage. The madness must stop!
While I agree that kindergarten and preschool graduation parties are silly, I think a lot of the idea of it lies more in getting friends and family together to have fun with each other. Sometimes, a party based on an event is just an excuse to do that - party. The kids also enjoy any excuse they get to play with other friends: It's easy to forget as adults how dull, time-consuming, and thankless school is. If I were invited to an elementary school or middle school graduation party in which gifts were an option, I would have no qualms with buying a five-to-ten-dollar toy, novelty item, or practical gift from Target or Amazon. A host who demands more is being ridiculous and rude.
While I don’t think preschool and kindergarten parties should be a thing, as kids get older and school gets harder, it can be helpful to have a small celebration for another checkpoint passed. Like 8th grade graduation, you made it through 9 years of schooling! It’s a nice reminder of success, and encouragement that “you made it this far, you can push through and graduate high school!” Personally I was so numb at that point I didn’t feel anything from those, but the kids around me seemed to appreciate it, and it motivated them to keep going.
My grandparents were mummum and puppup...ive never spelled those words before so. My focus with my son has always been education first. He just started college and works. Im pleased with him.
I've heard a lot of new grandparents declaring their own grandname at the birth of their first grandchild. In my family the title came from whatever the eldest child could pronounce when he/she was learning to speak. On my mom's side, it was gramma and grampa, on my dad's everyone called them nina and papa.
I've found that it's a little more confusing these days, compared to when I was young because so many families split and remarry, so there's a lot more grandmas and grandpas. That's how it was for my son so when I was pregnant I just asked everyone what they wanted to be called because a lot of times people want their own names. Since he was the first grandchild on both sides, it was super easy.
Dad's side of the family was "nana" and "pop-pop", mom's side was "grandma" and "grandpa". If I live long enough to see any, my grandkids will be calling me "pop-pop" since both of my children are boys.
My grandname came from my first grandchild. We just kept saying things like "say bye to Grandma" and finally she did. It came out "bye Nama. And it stuck. After five grands I have Nama on everything including travel mugs coffee cups and my particular favorite, A Namasaurus dino sweat shirt with all my little dinos on it, in their favorite colors. Too fun.
Yes! My older cousin named our grandpa Pop and it stuck for all of us so thats what he's been called 😊 on the other end, my grandma's were both grandma but since one was over 6 ft tall & the other was about 5 ft, my direct family called them tall grandma & little grandma 😆 i think my cousins on either of those sides just called each grandma, grandma & we got to be the weird ones
Ooh, ooh, I can play this! American families are in North America and British families are in Britain! Did I get it right? Edit; Seriously now, my family is monstrously large, by modern American standards. My mother had an Amish carpenter build her a table that can expand from seating six to seating *twenty six.* Not joking. And yes, we frequently over-subscribe the table's capacity. About four or five times a year, we swarm the table and over-fill the house.
My mother is called "Baba" by my childrens' generation. My siblings are so numerous that I often refer to "my eldest older sister" or "my middle younger sister," and so on.
@@lairdcummings9092 Mine is not so big... there were only 5 of us. But I still run into a similar problem, since I'm the youngest. How to describe the oldest of the 2 brothers? the oldest of the 2 sisters? They're all older than I am! 🤷🏻♀️
A friend's grandmother had 18 children exclamation pois an! And when I was telling a former colleague about this the other day she told me that she knew someone who had had 23!
Did anyone else at first think he had used a sharpie to start coloring in his TH-cam plaque, until you realized it was just reflecting part of a light stand
It appears your live in Lakeview near Graceland Cemetary. Keep up the great job. I love your insights. To para phrase Aron Eckhart in Possession " England is our favorite colony"
Hello Lawrence, from Anderson, Indiana. Well on my dad’s side our family reunion is usually held during the 4h fair in Alex, IN. Which I’m sure you had heard about from living in Anderson, IN. The last few years it been around 50-60 people.
I had a Papaw and a Pappy. My great grandfather was Poppy to his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. I had a Grandma and a Granny. My cousin is Mimi to her grandson.
I’m from the US, and come from a family of 6. My older brother has 2 daughters. That’s it. I met a man who is from a family of 12. When I traveled to meet his family for the first time, his Mom broke it up into 2 parties because there were so many people. I started with 2 nieces, but now have 19 nieces and nephews, and approximately 30 great nieces and nephews. That last number is always changing, and I can’t keep up. 😁
My brother was in high school football, and the whole family had to see him play, even at the freshman level on Saturday mornings. Mom wouldn’t let me bring a book to read in the stands, so I learned the game out of sheer self-defense against boredom, and love football to this day!
I would never do that to a child, but it worked out okay for you and you now have an extra interest. My mum could never have done that with me. I wouldn't have complied; I didn't believe in following unreasonable demands. Otherwise, I was a model child and simply didn't misbehave. I just got into trouble for my attitude, which hasn't changed much 😆 Having said that, when my younger brother joined a little football team, I went with him for support because I felt that he needed (and deserved) it.
6:57 - I've notice how - in books that take place in Britton- People so often put the word "our" in before mentioning a family member. "Our Mum", "Our Neville" and so on. As if a subtle reminder to the listener that the family is a united front and to mess with one of them is to mess with all of them.
I love watching the linguistic differences and comparing them to Canada (as an American living in Canada). It's such a mix of American and British terms. "Mum" and "Mom" are pretty interchangeable here, at least in my part of Ontario.
That's interesting. Nicky, are you saying that it's pronounced that way, or that it's spelled Mom in the Midlands? If so, I'm surprised I've never come across that in any writing. Also, I don't live that far away, but I've never heard of it. Do you know if it's an old custom or a recent adoption?
my grandparents were called "grandma seaside" (she lived by the sea), "grandpa france" (who funnily enough lived in France), then "grandma and grandpa" as they were still together, but she past away 10 years ago. "grandma seaside" is now just grandma as she now is my only grandma, she also moved house and isn't by the sea anymore - i jokingly say grandmama sometimes. "grandpa france" is sometimes still referred to like that but i usually just say "my mum's dad/father" or "your dad/father" when talking to my mum who is the only person i really mention him to, his new wife is just referred to as her name, i've only met her twice. i haven't spoken to my other grandpa for 4 years now :(
I did a research paper for a college anthropology course on this exact subject. Having lived on both sides of the pond in my youth, I didn’t really have to waste much time in the library.
I'm also from the midwest, though a little further south than Indiana, and we called my dad's parents Meme (Mee-mee) and Papa (Paw-paw). The first grandchild, my cousin, got to choose what we would all call them as we grew up. I wasn't around for my mom's parents unfortunately, but we refer to them as Grandma or Grandpa [mother's maiden name].
Hello Lawrence. 👋 I'm the youngest of a family of ten. Just the other day at Walmart I saw a family of six, plus I see lots of large families at church. Throughout the pandemic, I have gained about 5 new great nieces and nephews. One of my nieces just had her fourth child. 😋
Love your -humor and wit. Have seen many of your videos and thot id comment a bit. I enjoy each video ive seen and look forward to more. Dan, northern florida, 2/12/22
When I was a kid (in the U.S.) we only had graduation parties for high school and college. Now that I have children, I see it has changed--there are "graduations" from every change of schooling (elementary, middle, jr. high, high, uni).
I've , in the states, also heard of graduation ceremonies for kindergarten. Which is a thing in China, I have taught English in a Chinese kindergarten and 13 schools all attended the same ceremony. Not every kindergarten in the whole city, just those affiliated with us.
Oh, there are a great many more “titles” for family in the U.S. than you mentioned. Along with your assorted names for Granddad, I’ve heard Pops, Poppy, Papa, Grandpa, and Gramps, to name a few. My own grandfather was “Granny Doc,” (he was a surgeon). Strange, I know, but this is what comes with the misnomers of a first grandchild, LOL. He had a great sense of humor, though, and loved it! Anyway, along with Grandmom etc., there’s Gigi, Mimi, Meemaw, Mommy-Rachael (or whatever her first name is), Granny (the way it’s more typically used than in my own family!), Gran, and Grams. No doubt there are many more that aren’t coming to mind. We Americans like nicknames, I guess.
No, we just have so many societies and languages to choose from that the family variations on those cultures is available to many of us. My great grand parents were mostly Irish, English and Scots, but I had one who was Spanish. My parents grew up in different neighborhoods, but they were both culturally diverse and therefore open to many variations of names for elder family members.
When my husband and I started having kids my husbands grandmother came up to me and asked if it was ok for me to teach the baby that she is chief grandma. She felt uncomfortable with great grandmother thing. I thought it was a great idea it give that honor. So there is another crazy one on the American side
One of my friends is nicknamed "Shotsie", and that is exactly what her grandkids call her. Or 'Shots" for short. I'll have to ask her where that nickname came from.
One thing that my large extended family does that I HATE is they will go out of their way to go to funerals but often pass on birthday parties and graduations. Then at the funeral they will say, “We really need to spend more time together.” It’s annoying because they don’t mean it. But my sisters, my grown children, and I spend a lot of time together. And my daughter and granddaughter live with me so we are multigenerational and I love it.
The business of every school level having a "cap & gown" graduation has only really erupted in the lats thirty years or so. In my youth you only needed cap-n-gown for high school, and college (if you attended & matriculated same).
I would even say more like 20 years, as I don't remember anything but high school graduations in the 90s - but maybe the Midwest was slow to adopt the idea?
In the UK, the cap and gown ceremony is only used for graduation of university (college). Although there might be celebrations, including proms, to mark leaving high school (at 16 years old) and 6th form or college (at 18 years old, except Scotland where it's 17 years old). Younger children might have a little celebration assembly and party at school, including being given a certificate by their teacher or head teacher. It's a nice way to mark the occasion, especially if they're saying goodbye to friends. The celebration of leaving school is a relatively recent thing in the UK. They didn't exist in the '80s. School discos or parties were the most we had 😄
A couple of thoughts on grandparent names: here in the South, Papaw and Mamaw/Meemaw are grandparent names in some families and great-grandparent names in others. In my family, on my mom's side, only my great-grandfather lived long enough for us to need a name for him, and that was Papaw. My grandma's great-grandchildren grew up calling her Gigi (GeeGee?), presumably inspired by the initials of "great-grandma." Across the nation, we may or may not be more likely to also have ethnicity-specific names: grandparents named Opa/Oma (German? Czech?), Nonno/Nanna (Italian), Zayda/Bubbe (Yiddish/Jewish - in our household it was Baba, which I understand to be a Russian-Ukrainian variant). Also, on this topic, I highly recommend an adorable comedy video by It's a Southern Thang called "Choosing Your Grandma Name." In fact, you've inspired me to go watch it right now! P.S. but first I will add, on the subject of younger siblings, that some of us grew up being called somebody's baby sister or baby brother, particularly common where there's a larger-than-average age gap - in my case, nine years. And some of us are trying to get the word "niblings" to catch on as a faster, gender neutral way to say "nieces and nephews."
Great coverage of the ethnic names for grandparents! I would just add that some, at least Southerners, refer to their siblings as little (younger) or big (older) sister/brother. This becomes either contentious or hilarious as the siblings grow up. We also, for larger families often have to get quite detailed with the relationships - like going to my first cousin once removed’s wedding - i.e. my cousin’s daughter’s wedding - let alone going into which side of the family you’re related.
@@marthahancock7938 I always thought they were German. They are the preferred names used in the Pennsylvania Dutch/Deutsch side of my family. Most of the ancestors from that side of the family came from the former Holy Roman and Austro-Hungarian empires ie some from lands now known as the Czech Republic and Hungary but other from areas formerly as Pomerania, Schleswig, etc. All I’ve been able to find for certain is that their primary language when entering the US was listed as German.
I've never heard either of those terms... Baby sister/brother, but never Kid. But I live in the land of Coke=all soft drinks... HEB is the only grocery store, and Wataburger is on every corner.
I'm really enjoying your observations (and your sense of humour), Laurence. And yes, that's a "u" in that word. I was born in the US, married a Canadian and moved to his side of the Niagara River many years ago (guess we've been performing "Lost in the River" all this time!). As someone who went to the trouble of becoming Canadian, my little observation is that we fall halfway between British and American in many ways. Maybe that's the subtle difference that visiting Americans can't quite put their fingers on.
My Mum and I live about a block apart and basically function as a two campus household. I'm not sure how common this is in either country, but it's interesting. Also, I called my mother 'Mom' until I was in high school when, for no fathomable reason other than I'm weird, I switched to 'Mum'. My father and step-mother are "Oma" and "Opa" to their grandchildren and my aunt, who was originally from Saipan, was "Mimi" to my youngest cousins.
Mimi was my nickname when I was a little girl. I wanted to use that instead of Grandma, especially as my son-in-law's mother is also Grandma. My daughter had already vetoed Nanna. So, now, I'm "other Grandma" 🙁
When I was a kid this was how birthdays went. Immediate family only was invited. One present and a birthday cake which Mom made. Not much variation until my siblings started having kids. Christmas was celebrated on Christmas Eve with a tree, outdoor lights, and a present from everyone in immediate family. Christmas Day had stockings filled with fruit, nuts, and maybe a candy bar. Not much variation until the siblings had kids. You just can't tell about Americans.
My maternal grandmother was British and we called her MawMaw, although this was in the southern US. Side note, my grandparents met during WWII. My grandfather got the names and addresses of every girl he danced with while he was over there. After the war he wrote to every single one of them and asked if they might consider marrying him. MawMaw was the only one who wrote back. It's a love story for the ages really.
lmaoo i literally laughed out loud
This should be made into a romcom lol, I would absolutely watch it.
north texas here and one side for me was grandma and the other was mawmaw as a way to distinguish who i was talking about quick and easy.
I love that your grandfather divulged this information, but I guess he was safe once they were married XD
LMAO HE REALLY JUST DID THE COPYPASTING TO EVERY GIRL HE KNOWS
As a US newlywed I went to first family gathering (in California) about 50 people. The hostess was spouse's grandmother's sister's granddaughter! Joined a poker game and was trying to clarify the relationships when another player said," oh, give it up! I've been married into this family for 15 years and I still can't figure it out. Just enjoy all the various people and know somehow they're your family. "
Your spouse’s grandmother’s sister’s granddaughter is your spouse’s second cousin. That doesn’t seem complicated. 😂
My family has 2 adults, 6 kids, 1 dog, 1 cat.
@erzabetf9544 I very quickly did the math too, second cousins, same generation and share great grandparents. Definitely not hard especially when you also come from a big family like that where you know your second and third cousins.
I’m from Idaho and my grandsons refer to me as-the Gramster
I’m that way with my own family. Tons of 1st 2nd and 3rd cousins with the removes and so on.
BTW, one reason parties can seem so huge is, very often, friends of the hosts are included, as well as the friends' families (children, parents, brothers, sisters). Especially on holidays. "No one should ever be alone on a holiday," is a pretty common theme. The result is enormous parties. I've hosted my fair share over the years.
I agree. I live alone (1 child, 1 grandchild both out of state). So I have a standing invitation to family events with 2 of my friends. One of the friends has 8 adult children, about 20 adult grandchildren and numerous great grands! It is always a big crowd.
I was a new employee and my trainer invited me to her home at thanksgiving nice lady.
When I was a kid, my parents hosted most holidays as they had a large home in a central location, so it was the most convenient for the whole extended family. Two of my older cousins worked as EMTs in my hometown, so it was inevitable that one or both would be on duty for any given holiday - but since they didn't have to stay at the station as long as they stayed in town, whichever of them was working would come out for dinner along with their partner of the day. We used to joke about what the neighbors must think of my mom's cooking since there was an ambulance parked out front every holiday!
Funny addendum to that, some 15-20 years later, I suffered a major klutz moment while visiting my parents and broke a couple of bones in my ankle. First medic in the door grinned and said, "I thought I recognized the address Dispatch gave us. Are you the older or younger daughter?" She'd been a guest at the house for at least half a dozen holiday dinners over the years!
Since I was the only child, and my cousins were all older than me (at least 8 years), I was always allowed to bring a friend or two to parties.
Plus the friends are usually allowed to bring a +1, and maybe their kid/s.
As someone who performed in colorguard for 8 years and coached for 4 more, hearing Lawrence explain colorguard might be my favorite thing that has ever happened!
As a Guard and band mom, I thought the same thing.
Me too!!
As myself and three other family performed in R.O.T.C. activities, we all took Color Guard activities seriously. I just don't get what the other Color Guard was for. They only showed up in parades!
Likewise, that gave me a laugh
@@lucasthompson6116 In my school, colorguard was part of the marching band and performed at every football game and then competed with the band on Saturdays all fall. And they performed in the parades. They also had an indoor colorguard that competed all winter. Practice is about 3 hours a day, six days a week. You should look up a video of a colorguard competition, it's pretty cool.
These subgraduation parties are a new thing, like gender reveal parties. When I was growing up, I got 1 graduation at the end of HS. Every other graduation involved getting a university degree.
Yes I can imagine these celebrations are all 'money's spinning ideas., having said that it is nice to get together with friends and family.
I had two - junior high school in 1965 and high school in 1969.
Why do even that? What’s the point? You’ve learnt to read. Great let’s have a graduation ceremony.
I'm currently in sophomore year and neither me nor any of my friends have had any sort of graduation party, though there was a school assembly every year for 5th grader's 'moving up day' where the 5th graders would sing a song and some would get things like 'perfect attendance' and 'academic excellence' awards, it lasted for about 40 minutes and family was allowed to come watch
Have to be clear about what a “gender reveal party” is now.
I’m a baby boomer from Long Island, New York, and I have 5 siblings. When you include our spouses and children, the children’s spouses and their children, we number 43! And, very proudly I must say, we are all well educated and very successful. It’s not easy to get everyone together anymore, but we’ve managed 2 family picnics since our parents passed away. Family is everything 😊
I worked at an international school in Europe. We'd interview the kids to test their language levels, and ask "Who's in your family?". American kids would always say "Mom, dad, brother and sister (+ half/step siblings)". The kids from Europe would always include grandparents too. We always thought this was interesting, as the American kids didn't include grandparents in their immediate family unit.
Mexicans are far more likely to include grandparents than US Americans.
Including grandparents as family sounds so weird to me. 😅
An underlying reason may be who lives in the nuclear family household. In America, grandparents have their own houses (mainly). In Britain, I'm sure every house is a Charlie Bucket style set up with pap pap and meemaw from both parents all in one cozy room. Right guys? .....guys? Right???
Many Europeans live with thier grandparents in the household.
@@drockjr well it wasn't how we lived in Britain for the last 50 years but with the price of housing in many places excluding young people from the housing market, and state care for the elderly being so dire (always was, but fewer lived so long), I would expect to see multi gen households growing substantially in the UK. I certainly don't want my mam being left with strangers to take care of her in 10-15 years.
Siblings in the US are sometimes called big brother/sister, little brother/sister, baby brother/sister, but I think this is mostly when referring to your own siblings.
Well, not completely. I might say "This is Joe. He's Bob's little (or younger) brother." It wouldn't be considered odd.
Also, "bubba" and "bub" and "sis"
My home is multigenerational and has been since my first child was born some 16 years ago. I love it. I was an Army brat, born into a remarkably nuclear family that followed my father as he was deployed all over the world. The idea of extended family was foreign to my siblings and me, albeit a romantic idea. Now I live in a multigenerational household and wouldn't have it any other way. Fantastic support.
As the oldest of 5, I lived with my parents in my moms parents apt. Along with 2 uncles & an aunt. By age 2 we were off to our own place. Within walking distance. It’s funny our house was big & lots going on with five kids & 3 dogs. Relatives visiting. By the time my youngest brother got married & had kids he had his in laws move in.
I was an Army brat, too. So I married a Navy man. When I was little we would move in with my mother's parents whenever Dad was deployed someplace that he could not take us. I hated it because the rules changed and my grandmother didn't cook the way my mother did. I know they loved me, but they were older and ran their house their way which was not the way I was used to.
You must have suffered greatly with all that military experience.
@@mgbsecteacher Military brats don't "suffer." It is a way of life and kids accept as their life. I was a Navy Brat and I saw and experienced things most civilian kids did not. Military Brats, Foreign Service Kids, and even kids of missionaries have been described as "third culture kids" because of the life they have following their "serving" parent(s). In a real sense the children serve too.
That is a REAL FAMILY.
Being an American of Italian descent, I called my grandparents Nonna and Nonno. Their daughter (my mother) wanted to be called Grandma. And so it still goes.
My husband is French Canadian, so we are now Mamet and Papet to the granddaughter.
Having grown up across the pond in Germany, I have to admit that German families are much more in line with families in the UK. We got together with grandparents, aunts, and uncles on everybody’s birthday, adults and children alike. We had afternoon coffee and fancy cakes and tortes on those occasions. We often got together on Christmas and Easter as well. Most relatives lived in town. I remember those occasions quite fondly.
Graduations weren’t celebrated. No fuss. There weren’t any baby showers or wedding showers, either. We celebrated only the actual wedding or christening of a child. One occasion that was celebrated in grander style was confirmation. Every relative turned up for that one.
But I do remember thinking, after slaving away in nursing school for 4 years, there were no cards of congratulations, nor any sort of celebration…. that should have counted for a little something. Maybe it’s different now, I don’t know. But those were different times, life was simpler.
I have been living in the US for decades. We celebrate each grandchild’s high school graduation, and I expect in time, their college graduations. At the time of their graduations we lived 1000 miles away from them. But we showed up for each and every one of their HS graduations, emphasizing how important an education is. Thankfully we now live a lot closer to them. I much prefer the way American culture support their offspring in their endeavors. My German upbringing left me feeling somewhat undervalued and unappreciated. Maybe again, different times. You can only learn from your past and change the present as you see fit.
As always, Laurence, nicely done!
My husband feels the same way. He also gets really overwhelmed by my family and our customs 😆
Did you not have a graduation? I'm in UK I did nursing at university of Central Lancashire and we got the cap and gown ceremony with everyone else from the faculty of health
@@tweetypie1978 Yes, we do have graduation ceremonies hosted by the school, assuming the school is not entirely on-line.
Lol, my parents in NYC (from Irealand) asked me is they had to go to my. HS and college graduation ceremonies. I said no because I didn't wnat to go. But my mother decided we should go to my college graduation because a favorite national politician of hers was the speaker. I and my family did niot sit in the designated areas. Instead we sat on a park bench overlooking the ceremony. Rather pleasant. My mother had a nice chat with the politician, much mutual laughter. That was back when security was not a big thing at all in NYC. In fact i got my first job after college by entering big office buildings, looking up the VPs on the lobby directory, going to their floors, rapping on the door and asking, "Can I have two minutes of your time?"
I absolutely adore the way German people live their family life. I’m British (English) but my mum is of Irish descent. Therefore, we have a nice mixture of both pared down and rollicking gatherings! I love the way German and Austrians live. They quietly go about their daily business but family get togethers are a time for great food, drink, traditional dress and dancing. It’s never over the top and that appeals to me. 🇩🇪
The concept of a graduation ceremony for every single phase of education is a relatively new thing.I had a high school graduation and university graduate but that was it.
Same, here. We had end of year parties for other school years, but we didn’t add the prestige of calling them “graduations”. It was just a reason to get together, not worry about homework, and consume enough pizza, candy, and soda to make your spit hurt.
@@zerstorer335 We had ceremonies, but it was never called a graduation. Just a celebration of the school year and to acknowledge our achievements. I think the graduations are kind of ridiculous. Like have a graduation for kindergarten to first grade or sixth grade to seventh.
We had high school and college graduations. There were grad school graduations, too, celebrated with the college/university ones. We also had an elementary school graduation (8th grade, just prior to entering high school. This latter, in 1967, was the occasion of six sets of parents throwing their sprogs and classmates major parties, all with quantities of parentally supplied kegs of beer.
ditto.
We did a multigenerational home in 2013 when my mom at 62 had stage 4 cancer and all the family came to my house. It was me, my children, parents,
siblings a niece and nephew. I’m glad we were able to do it. It was an important time where we needed one another. It was 5 months.
For what it's worth, graduation ceremonies for lower grades - and parties - particularly kindergarten and elementary school, is sort of a recent thing in America. Post 1980's maybe? I've always thought it was silly and likely to convince children that their "accomplishments" in school are inherently exceptional rather than a natural preparation for adulthood. It also diminishes the coming of age ceremony that is high school graduation, which marks the end of compulsory education and, for 18 year olds, acknowledges their transition to adulthood with legal rights to their own decisions and life choices.
Exactly! It's ridiculous to have kindergarten graduations. I have even been invited to preschool graduations -- kids moving from preschool to kindergarten.
We did a family party for my kids kindergarten graduation, but I think that's because the school actually had a graduation ceremony for them. So we had a small party at home. I believe they were both in the early 90s. When I went to kindergarten myself it was still voluntary, school started at the 1st grade. No parties for me or the siblings.
@MJIMBA07 nah it was the early 70s where those type of parties started to happen my dad remembers having one when he graduated catholic school in 8th grade
I'm glad we didn't have minor graduation ceremonies in the UK. I didn't even go to the ceremony for getting my degree.
@@wisteria808 Agree! I know schools that have a Pre-K graduation, then Kindergarten, 5th grade, then on to Middle School graduation and High School Graduation. Who drives this over the top frenzy of "don't we have amazing children"? The families of the kids. It seems like if a kid does what he's supposed to do, people go wild with praise.
Great observation about the extracurriculars. My friend from Norway that I met in community college applied to USC with perfect grades and didn't get in, she realized that having perfect grades here is not enough (and this is only USC, imagine how hard getting into Berkeley, Harvard, Caltech, MIT, or UofC is). She humbly admitted that she thought it was going to be easy to get into a good in the US because "American school is easy", until this happened. She applied to the same university the next year though, after she made up for not being involved in any extracurricular activities, internships, or volunteering, and got in! 🎉
From my perspective, I didn't know she didn't do any extracurriculars while we were in community college together, I thought it was common sense. This is likely the reason why extracurriculars here are emphasized, as well as academic success.
We called my dad's mom "Granny" and my mom's mom was "Grandma".
I have to say that extended family get togethers have gone down a lot as Americans have spread out across the continent. Some families only get together every couple of years. When I was a kid my aunts & uncles were close by & got together for holidays. Almost all of us cousins live all over & even the ones that are close don't get together like the parents did
Something to consider there is that you mention that you as an adult don't get-together as often with your _cousins_. Your parents had get-togethers with your aunts and uncles who would all be siblings, and much closer than cousins. I know my parents' cousins would only be invited to get-togethers once every year or two (as opposed to five or more get-togethers with siblings each year).
I'm guessing the shrinking family size is a factor here. As the last generation achieved financial success and spread out, the next generation wasn't dense enough in the first place to carry on with the big get-togethers. When the siblings from last generation got together, it was a big party because there were so many of them. I feel an average adult under thirty now will probably have only one or two siblings (if they have any at all), so hanging out with your siblings won't be a big party, it'll just be a small visit.
It’s hard isn’t it? So different today. Growing up I had 18 first cousins that I saw on a regular basis even though we lived in NJ & they were in NY. I knew great aunts & uncles & even my moms cousins. Loved hanging with family.I have one child & his dad his amazed at how much extended family I have.
I've got all my first cousins in half a dozen states that I haven't seen in decades and I honestly wouldn't recognize if I saw them.
@@CallieMasters5000 I get it. All my friends & theirs were always shocked we were cousins & actually liked hanging out.
yeah I haven't seen most of my cousins in over 10 years. As a kid we'd see each other all the time
In a lot (very specific, heavily researched statistics here) of families in the American South, you might be able to to say something about a person's parents with impunity, but DON'T say anything bad about their "Mawmaw" or "Pawpaw." Those are beloved figures.
My family just became multi-generational in December. We bought a new house 2 years ago with the full intent to add on for my in-laws to live here as well. Took longer than we planned, but we are finally there. -Florida, USA.
GrammyZ here wanting to mention being a US Swim Mom who sat through swim meets for 16 hours to watch her 3 sons swim a total of 30 minutes. (Yes, I owned a Kindle!) Two of the 3 are now parents, and I'm encouraging all sorts of sports, dance, music, debate, gymnastics and art appreciation! They're now mentioning hosting holiday dinners. Life is good!
Great name Grammy z
My parents home was overflowing holidays, special days such as graduations my high school party 40 plus relatives plus the whole neighborhood we had a block party. Everyone had a kid graduating in1975, one high school we all knew each other so close off the street for a few hours it was great. Summer holidays big BBQs just who was hosting we were all in the same town . Those days are long gone looking back best time are parents were related in laws, cousins 2 and 3rd even a 4th cousin. We lived in the same small town, went to the same schools played together, grew up together. Slept over each other's homes, even had two houses close to each other at the Jersey shore. I miss those days best times, best memories. all family
Loved being a swimmer and first string on a state champion water polo team. My parents tried to come watch and I almost drowned off the block at a swimming meet. I never saw them watching me again, thank God! I did it for me, not to be watched.
I went to my nieces school soccer game and let me tell you, it was beyond boring..............but she appreciated the support of her mom and I.
As the grandmama of a sprinter, I know where you’re coming from. Spent 3 days at meets last week to see 4 minutes of swimming. Next week it’s 4 days at Nationals for 4 minutes. Wouldn’t miss it for the world and I’ve accumulated another 5 “grandchildren” in the process! You’ve got so much to look forward to!
I live in a multigenerational house. My dad, my daughter, her son and me. 4 generations. We all help each other out with everything. Keeps my dad from being alone after mom passed. I help my daughter with her son as her and the dad went separate ways. Works out great. 2 story house with 4 bedrooms. Plenty of room for all.
My mother's parents came from England. We addressed our aunts as aunty. My mother, called aunty Joan by my cousins, spoiled that tradition by naming my youngest sister Faith. Our pronunciation of aunty sounded a lot like the prefix anti. Anti Faith somehow didn't cut it
So funny. Imagine if an aunt was named Chris. Anti Chris would have been so close.
🤣🤣🤣
Fifty years ago, only high school and college graduations were marked by ceremonies and parties. Celebrating every change in school level is a new thing.
I’m American and I have 26 first cousins. My moms family is Irish & German and my grandma had 9 kids. My dads family is Native American and my grandma on that side had 5 kids.
Very cool! My family has German, Dutch, and French ancestry. More Americans claim German ancestry than any other. Did you know that German immigrants in the 1800s played a role in the abolition of slavery?
I have 28 first cousins. I love it. My dad's family has some awesome family reunions every year. I feel really bad for smaller families. They are missing out.
@@jenlovesjesus Awesome! I do know about there being more German ancestry in the states than any other but I don’t think I knew about them helping with slavery. Very cool!
@@Godislove4517 I know right! I grew up thinking everyone had a million people at every family get together lol. It’s so weird to me still that some people have like 1 cousin or whatever lol. My kids only have 3 cousins but my youngest sister still hasn’t had kids yet. Plus all my cousins have loads of kids so my kids have those 2nd cousins. But the older we get the smaller our groups are getting. All my grandparents are gone, my mom is gone, some aunts and uncles are gone etc… so things change.
@@ToniaElkins Sorry about so many losses. 😔 I hope your family can grow. If it wasn't for 2 of my uncles we wouldn't have those reunions and would likely never see each other.
So you're saying if the average UK family got a Christmas Story leg lamp we'd be even, then?
Hopefully the neighbors' dogs avoid the roast, though.
we had a nightlight version of that lamp lol
What about the headed Chinese chicken or what we call smiling duck
Lol!!!!
Denise I approve this message 👍
My sister has recently become a grandmum. She devised her own special title- Mimi, which she thought would be easy to say. The baby took well to this, so Mimi it is. Other grandma names in our famly- Gigi, BB, and Meme.
My mother's mother was Mimi to all 18 grand kids. In fact one cousin named both his daughter's after her. They were Frances and Mimi.
I'm MiMi too
Mimi is my grandmother's "grandkid" name. She has quite a few grandchildren, most of whom don't see each other or her much. We all live in different parts of the country.
My kids call my mother Sticky. There was an interaction between my son and my mom one day that resulted in my mom saying, “ Now I’m sticky!” And Sticky she became.
My MIL is called Bibi. It’s the Swahili word for Grandmother.
Yes, there are several Mimi’s here in the South. I like that one. I love Sticky! Cute! I like all the alternative grandparent names. Especially those that come organically.
My grandparents were always Grandma/Grandpa (Gramma/Grampa) with their last name. So my kids call my parents the same. My oldest sibling is 15 years older than me and my youngest is 7 years my junior.
Somewhere, in the middle of having multiple generations of grandkids, my mom was called Grammy by one set. She loved that, so tried having all the ones after say it, but I still was used to saying Gramma, so my kids call her that mostly. The youngest two grandkids call her Happy, as that is how the older of the two siblings could say Grammy. She REALLY loves that one.
My middle child called my dad Beebah. I thought it was adorable, and that we’d have a cute nickname, but he graduated to pronouncing Grampa on his own before it could stick.
My MIL (mother in law) has always been Granny and her first name to my kids and that generation. My step kids and their cousins that age called her Mama Nonnie, as that is how the first grandkid said her name. But she referred to herself as Granny Connie with grandkids just older than mine. My step kids called their grandfathers Papa and their first names.
When my stepson and ex wife were asking me (I was 34 at the time) what I wanted to be called, (as each of their mothers had something specific they wanted to be referred to as) I laughed and told them it all sounds old to me for now. And that whatever he calls me is what I’ll be.
So today, I am Gramma and my husband is Grampa. Although, my husband has recently started referring to me in front of them as Granny Annie. I haven’t been so much a fan of Granny in the past, as it sounds old, (I’m 44 now) but I have to admit it sounds best with my nickname. Our grandkids call my husband Grumpa sometimes, as we joked that they should, since he can be grumpy. They like that inside joke.
My oldest is about to turn 21, and though she wants a family one day, she wants to complete school and such first, as does her boyfriend. Who knows what the future brings, but I think they will marry one day. So who knows what moniker I’ll have then!
As always, Laurence, I enjoyed your observations. I love your dry sense of humor!! You must have been a precocious child! Such keen observations!!
I had 5 siblings; when my mother was in her 80's we had a birthday party for her and wrote up a list of all the grandkids and great grandkids, and there were 31 great grandkids. My mother stood there with a shocked expression and said this "classic for her statement"; "It's not my fault!". We all tried to get our jaws off the floor, but it put a pall on the party for sure...
She's old. We would have just laughed it off if Nanny said something like that. Lol!
Shame you let that put a damper on the party, that is fantastic comedy. It would have ramped the party up with peals of laughter in my family.
FUNNY! When my Grandmother (Dad's Mom) passed away, she had 11 children, 23 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren! She LOVED it!
When we told my grandmother that she was now a great great grandmother when my grandson was born, her comment had us 🤣 She said , “ Oh shit!”
One set of grandparents were Granny and Poppy and the other were Granny and Pa. When talking about Grannies, we called one big granny and little granny but never to their face! LOL I am Nana (pronounced Nawnaw) and hubby was Papaw but if I ever become great grandmother it will be Mawmaw. All grands take special pride in the names our little ones give us! Good video!
Moms parents were Nanny & Pop-pop & Dads were Grandma & Grandpa.
My grandchildren call me Oma. German for Grandma.
My mom was tagged "Rowrow" by my four-month-old niece because she had this white fuzzy bathrobe that made her look a little like a bear to the baby.
You’re the first person outside my family I’ve met that called their grandfather Poppy🐝❤️🤗
@@CraftyZanTub I love that! 😊
Visiting my mother’s family in Puerto Rico is usually fun due to the fact they are her neighbors. The land once belonged to their father, and plots of land was given out when they married.
this obsession with graduation from every grade in school up to high school is a recent development when I was growing up no one graduated from anything until you got to high school
The oddest nickname for a grandparent I ever encountered was "Cracker". She was one of the grandmothers. Grandmother -> Gram -> GrahamCracker -> Cracker. She found it both endearing & amusing.
That's the best!
I love it!!!
😹😹
What I find really odd is that Americans sometimes address their parents as 'Sir' and 'Ma'am.' Strange that the video did not mention it.
@@gillianbergh7002 I haven’t seen that happen very often. Maybe a regional thing? When I have witnessed it, I assumed the parents wanted to make sure their children learned to be respectful.
Larger houses are perfectly conducive to our culture of enjoying throwing parties! 🎉
But having all the extended family plus the neighbors over for a party has been part of the culture even back 100 years ago when many homes were barely more than a room or two.
I worked with a guy whose big Italian family needed no excuse for a party. We went over after work & like you said it was a tiny 3 bedroom ranch on a tiny lot. But very deceiving. As soon as you entered the house it was wide open with cathedral ceilings & a huge great room addition. Deck & pool off the back! Made for parties 🎂🍾
Good point. We lived in a tiny 2 bedroom/1 bathroom apartment when I was a kid and still had at least 25 relatives over for holidays. I thought it was fun, but it had to be against fire codes! I feel like houses used to be quite a bit smaller than they are now. They really got much bigger the last 20 years.
I’ve never had more than about 6 people for a party at my house and we have a pretty big house.
While we aren't a multi-generational family, I do live with my daughter, son-in-law & a housemate. Luckily I've got a a 'granny' pad attached to the main house. We came together to help each other with various health problems with the added benefit of lowering housing costs. I love living with my family.
It’s nice to read this. It seems a rare set of circumstances.
I rarely seem to see people banding together to solve such issues.
I've lived in a multi generational house for a while now and I honestly like it much better than living away! The whole family feels so much closer, more alive, and everyone helps each other out much more than before. It's nice to have your family's support right beside you.
As for grandparent monikers, I chose to use the name I called my own maternal grandmother. On my dad's side, as he was one of 11 kids, there were already plenty of grands. But on my mom's side, I was the first grandchild. It turned out I was the only grand her mother ever got to meet. She passed away young at a mere 42. As the only grand at the time, I was of course "spoiled rotten" or "Rotten to the bone and salt can't save ya!". I called my grandmother Nanny. So when my daughter was pregnant I knew what I wanted her baby to call me. The greatest sound in the world to my ears is hearing that little one say "Nanny". But on a funny note, since she was born people have thought she is my daughter. I'm like, No, I'm just the Nanny!! 😉 Kinda cool that at almost 50 people think I look young enough to have a 4 year old though. And I'll take it!
-In the south, at least TN, its Mamaw & Papaw, never heard that anywhere else.
-College admissions are based on extracurricular activities and community service as well as test scores and grades.
-Kevin's family from "Home Alone" was an Irish Catholic family, which is typically large.
Laurence, I’m an American grandmother aka Nana, so you can add that to your list. Thank you for all your great comparisons, they are always entertaining.
I can attest to the large parties. My ex-husband & I used to host a Christmas party for his work associates. It would be around 25 to 30 people typically. Growing up my family would drive across the country every Christmas to stay with my Aunt, Uncle, cousins and Mamaw. When they had visitors for the days around Christmas , there would be up to 20 people hanging out together. So many good memories! Many holiday dinners were held in the basements where we could pull out long metal collapsible tables and a dozen adults would eat at one table and the kids have their own table. The dining room was just not big enough so that is where we'd set up the tables!
In my family, I had a Mammaw, a Pappaw, a Gandma, and a Grandpa. Maybe some greats, early on. My son has a Grandpa, a grandma, a Nana, a Grammy, and a Pa. And others use so many other names, of course. The consolidation of cultures leads to some interesting situations and names.
My daughter was on color guard in high school. I'm not sure if all high schools have it set up the same but you must be in the band playing an instrument to qualify for color guard (my daughters was clarinet). I think the kids being able read music and march in certain formations was the biggest part of that. They even had elaborate choreography. Their last competion was pink panther running from capt Clouseau before getting "trapped by the Captain" in a disguised gun barrel, and when the canon went off the slippery pink panther had sneaked behind the Captain tossing a meet over him
There is a color guard only thing called Winter Guard. I'm not sure if it's dependent on the state though. But it's meant for guard to have something to do after the marching season.
Funny you should mention grandparents. Being born, raised and living in Calif., my great grandmother (yes, I knew her) was called Nanna. Very lovely lady, loving to a fault. She emigrated to San Francisco from Glasgow!!! And now I know whey we called her Nanna.!!!
I actually live in a multigenerational household and I love it. It would be hard if you lived in a small house and there was no personal space, but if you don’t have that issue, then it can be a great experience especially for the grandkids. My husband’s family is Dutch, so we are Opa and Oma. My cousin goes by Gigi, Grandma Green lol
Extra-curricular activities are pretty much required to get into a good university. Not only must one's grades be good, but one must be busy while doing so.
Yet I see lazy af high school and college kids everywhere. What gives?
Being a military family I never lived near any family growing up. My grandparents on both sides were always grandmother or grandfather followed by their surname. Once my parents settled stateside we still lived about 600 miles away from everybody. My husband 's family is quite large, close by, and even though they are lovely people I always feel suffocated at family gatherings and don't stay for long.
When I was visiting my Scottish family in Delaware. Gran (my great aunt) had about 30 of us over for High Tea. It was a highlight of my childhood!
Just stumbled upon this site recently. You are quite a chuckle! I live about an hour north of Chicago. If you ever have any "public" events or performances, let me know - I'll be there!
lmao, while we were living NJ, my dad made the choice to have a family get together. we had 250 ppl show up on my mom side of family. My dad did not take into count the number of cousins. we had 6 or 7 lvl show up. that 200 more than we counting on.
I grew up in a multi generational household. My grandmother lived with us & while there were benefits, there were also negative aspects...mainly, getting in twice the trouble!!
Oy vey!😉
For a while I lived in a multi-generational household. Mama C (my father's mother) was an incredibly tough old bird of Scottish extraction. She was a tiny, wizened, force of nature. Might have come from raising three huge boisterous boys as a single mother through the depression. Her word was Law.
We lived in my Grandmother's house for several years starting when I was eight. Then we moved across the country and she moved in with us. I ended up taking care of her for the last years of her life. I am so glad to have spent so much of my life with her.
That wasn’t the fault of a multigenerational family.
I loved it . My cousin has a huge 3 family house . Grandma lived on the 2nd floor and cousins lived on the other 2 . When they were home the back doors were all open and I remember bouncing from apartment to apartment as a child when we spent the summer or the weekends . . Great grands had had 15 children and some of them lived there as adults We kids used to put on shows and we always had an audience .
I’ll be 51 soon and I had only high school and college graduation. Any other grade prior to that, one simply returns the next year in the appropriate classroom. Holding a ceremony for every grade level is a new phenomenon, relatively speaking.
I really enjoyed your video. My mother was British and her family lived in Malta and there they did seem to have lots of gatherings when we would go visit. Gatherings consisted of relatives.
I would say that a lot of these American traditions are relatively new regarding kids, their activities and graduations for elementary and middle schools. Im a Gen Xer and there weren't any graduations for my peers until high school - and parents showed up for activities most of the time for some and others didnt show up ever.
I think it depends on locality, also. Back in the day (1970s), in AZ one was only 'required' to attend school until the 8th grade - therefore, 8th grade (middle school) graduation was a thing.
I believe it's regional. I'm GenX from Chicago. A few had pre-school graduation. There was kindergarten graduation. If your grammar school stopped at 5th grade, then you had a 5th grade graduation, and if not, you didn't have your next graduation until 8th grade. Then of course there's Highschool & college if you finished.
I'm kind of interested in seeing how people in the UK discipline their children versus how people discipline their children in the US and if there's any difference between the way that you express your fondness or love for each other
Awww, looking for ideas, huh?😆
@J LA You're mixing up discipline and punishment - they're not the same thing.
I always have made it a point to never threaten a correction I'm not willing to implement, to *follow through* on any such threats, and to always act *before* getting angry. Be disciplined in your own self before trying to discipline anyone else. Be proportional. Be willing to listen before deciding on a course of action. Again, always follow through.
It works. My children listen to me, and are willing to *talk* to me. I have excellent, well-behaved, individualistic children.
I blame their mother.
😁
I thought it was all about the naughty step, based on Super Nanny reruns.
@@Alan_Mac I'm not mixing anything up because what I do for a living people call it discipline when they beat the s*** out of their kids so everybody has a different perspective on what punishment and discipline mean.... Although it wasn't my full intent to really disclose what I do for a living I was actually more on the wholesome side of wondering how parents expressed their love to kids here and the UK and how the family unit works... I grew up in a home where there was no hugs kisses or I love yous a lot of yelling and discipline could because back then it was belts spoons sticks ping pong pattles hair brushes... I don't know if it's generational because back then it was more accepted now they have people like me but put people away for doing that s***.... So I kind of like to go back to just asking a wholesome question on how the family unit works here versus UK.... I'd like to know how the discipline children in the UK because I know they have a dark history as well but I'm more curious of what's happening now just thinking about my own childhood.... So leave it to bunch of you just to ruin a simple question that didn't need to go down a dark hole
Speaking of parties, I remember taking my now husband to my grandparents’ house for dinner. We’re both American, but he’s definitely more of an introvert. We were engaged, and that side of the family had thrown us a wedding shower with every cousins they could possibly find that morning, so he was a little worried about it being overwhelming for dinner. Told him, no just immediate family. Which he thought was my dad and stepmom and my dad’s parents. Told him, no it’ll be everybody. He thought add my brothers, and I started counting up aunts and uncles and cousins and hit 17 including the two of us which he still doesn’t believe is immediate family only even if he’s gotten used to it.
That's because anyone outside of your parents and siblings isn't your immediate family. It's nice that you think that way, though, and I expect that your husband has grown used to your extended family :)
When I was young, we only had graduation parties when completing high school. My kids on the other hand ... the school sponsored graduation celebrations for Kindergarten, elementary school and Junior High. I found it pretty strange. My niece (and her kids) lived with my parents for quite a while ... they helped raise their great grand children ... multi-generational, though skipping one generation.
I had a kindergarten graduation, and so did my son, but we didn't have a real party and I'm pretty sure most of the people attending both were just parents. I do remember feeling rather proud of myself, even though it's probably got a 99.8% pass rate.
@@tinabean713 Now that I think about it, I do think I had a kindergarten graduation as well.
As someone very much from the south, it fills my heart with joy to hear you say "mamaw" and "papaw".
Lawrence, I love your videos. You bring a smile to my face every time I see and hear you.
4:43 the Army Navy game with Navy running down the field. I have been to many of these games...it is a BIG DEAL for sure!
My Mom's parents were Granny and Grandpa. My Dad's parents were Big Momma and Big Daddy. Gotta love my Texas roots.
The largest birthday party my family ever had was for my daughter's first birthday. We had 80 family and friends at my house for lunch and birthday cake. It was mad and we swore we would never have that many at once ever again and went back to our 30 -50 for holidays. Now with COVID we had 8 for Christmas.
My dad has a very formal name with his grandchildren. They actually call him Grandfather.
My kids were the oldest so got to choose and called my mother Grandmother. It may sound formal but for her grandkids it was endearing.
My kids have always called their grandmothers by Grandma 'name' inserting their grandmothers name after the title because as a mixed family they had at least 4, and the same with their grandfathers, they called them Papa 'insert name ' lol and they called their great grandmother's by either Great Gram or Gigi, or G G for great grandmother lol it is funny how many different names we have for relatives, my best friends kids call their grandmother Mem-may, and my older sister called her grandfather Pa-pou, I think it's because of how many different cultures we have, so each one brings in their own dialect and over years they sometimes morph into something new. Loved the video, thank you so much for sharing ❤😊👍👍
Mamaw is Memaw down south, especially in the hills. As an American having lived in Germany for 30+ years, I really appreciate your show.
Here in Canada people buy houses and have lodgers who live in Basement or sometimes Garages are converted to bedrooms. Some sibling live in pool houses. Orientals have Grandparents live with them.
I was a census taker in Arizona for the 2020 census. It was right in the middle of the covid shut downs. I saw quite a few households who were suddenly multi-generational. I wonder if the percentage increased?
I bet a lot of these people feared being separated from older loved ones during the shutdown.
Totally from the midwest and had a good chuckle at my baby shower a few weeks ago with two sets of cards from "papa and grammy" one was from my grandparents, the other from my parents to our baby to be!
My granddaughters born a year apart , named me themselves, one calls me Abu we don’t know why and the other Mimi and we don’t know why, their grandpas are papa and other grandmas are nana . Have to admit I love the distinction and feel a little special
As a Brit, the first difference that came to my mind is calling parents sir and ma'am. Which, in American media at least, seems fair commonplace in the US but is pretty much unheard of here.
I think that’s mainly a “ Southern” thing. I’m in New England and it’s not done here. It’s mom and dad.
Definitely southern! I’m from Wyoming and moved to the south and I’m still not used to it!
Sorry, no. That's only a Southern thing. In every other region of the US, that will sound just as creepy and foreign.
I'm American and I've never called my parents that. Nor did anyone else I knew. I assume it's more common in the south (I live in the northeast).
I don’t think anyone - southern or otherwise - replaces the term Mom and Dad with sir or ma’am itself. Rather, it’s attached to a response, such as yes sir or no ma’am, and is used as a sign of respect. Also, it’s not only used as part of a response to parents - could be used toward anyone older than you.
You are so correct regarding Americans and their obsession with graduation parties. It is out of control! Kindergarten graduation - Arie you kidding me!?! If I went to every graduation party I’ve been invited to I’d need to take out a 2nd mortgage. The madness must stop!
While I agree that kindergarten and preschool graduation parties are silly, I think a lot of the idea of it lies more in getting friends and family together to have fun with each other. Sometimes, a party based on an event is just an excuse to do that - party. The kids also enjoy any excuse they get to play with other friends: It's easy to forget as adults how dull, time-consuming, and thankless school is. If I were invited to an elementary school or middle school graduation party in which gifts were an option, I would have no qualms with buying a five-to-ten-dollar toy, novelty item, or practical gift from Target or Amazon. A host who demands more is being ridiculous and rude.
While I don’t think preschool and kindergarten parties should be a thing, as kids get older and school gets harder, it can be helpful to have a small celebration for another checkpoint passed.
Like 8th grade graduation, you made it through 9 years of schooling! It’s a nice reminder of success, and encouragement that “you made it this far, you can push through and graduate high school!”
Personally I was so numb at that point I didn’t feel anything from those, but the kids around me seemed to appreciate it, and it motivated them to keep going.
I love how everything on your list of stuff that you actually do have in the UK
My grandparents were mummum and puppup...ive never spelled those words before so. My focus with my son has always been education first. He just started college and works. Im pleased with him.
I've heard a lot of new grandparents declaring their own grandname at the birth of their first grandchild. In my family the title came from whatever the eldest child could pronounce when he/she was learning to speak. On my mom's side, it was gramma and grampa, on my dad's everyone called them nina and papa.
I've found that it's a little more confusing these days, compared to when I was young because so many families split and remarry, so there's a lot more grandmas and grandpas. That's how it was for my son so when I was pregnant I just asked everyone what they wanted to be called because a lot of times people want their own names. Since he was the first grandchild on both sides, it was super easy.
Dad's side of the family was "nana" and "pop-pop", mom's side was "grandma" and "grandpa". If I live long enough to see any, my grandkids will be calling me "pop-pop" since both of my children are boys.
Mine did that until my uncles (now ex) wife pulled some crap to create one to insult my grandparents there
My grandname came from my first grandchild. We just kept saying things like "say bye to Grandma" and finally she did. It came out "bye Nama. And it stuck. After five grands I have Nama on everything including travel mugs coffee cups and my particular favorite, A Namasaurus dino sweat shirt with all my little dinos on it, in their favorite colors. Too fun.
Yes! My older cousin named our grandpa Pop and it stuck for all of us so thats what he's been called 😊 on the other end, my grandma's were both grandma but since one was over 6 ft tall & the other was about 5 ft, my direct family called them tall grandma & little grandma 😆 i think my cousins on either of those sides just called each grandma, grandma & we got to be the weird ones
Ooh, ooh, I can play this!
American families are in North America and British families are in Britain!
Did I get it right?
Edit;
Seriously now, my family is monstrously large, by modern American standards. My mother had an Amish carpenter build her a table that can expand from seating six to seating *twenty six.* Not joking.
And yes, we frequently over-subscribe the table's capacity. About four or five times a year, we swarm the table and over-fill the house.
😂👍 Nailed it.
My mother is called "Baba" by my childrens' generation.
My siblings are so numerous that I often refer to "my eldest older sister" or "my middle younger sister," and so on.
@@lairdcummings9092 Mine is not so big... there were only 5 of us. But I still run into a similar problem, since I'm the youngest. How to describe the oldest of the 2 brothers? the oldest of the 2 sisters? They're all older than I am! 🤷🏻♀️
A friend's grandmother had 18 children exclamation pois an! And when I was telling a former colleague about this the other day she told me that she knew someone who had had 23!
@@LindaC616 DAAANG, 😯
Did anyone else at first think he had used a sharpie to start coloring in his TH-cam plaque, until you realized it was just reflecting part of a light stand
It appears your live in Lakeview near Graceland Cemetary. Keep up the great job. I love your insights. To para phrase Aron Eckhart in Possession " England is our favorite colony"
I grew up in a multigenerational household and loved it! Then when I had kids, my parents moved in with us. It is such a blessing to be close
I really enjoy your videos man, thanks for making them!
Me, too. I'm always so excited to see his latest videos. 😁
Hello Lawrence, from Anderson, Indiana. Well on my dad’s side our family reunion is usually held during the 4h fair in Alex, IN. Which I’m sure you had heard about from living in Anderson, IN. The last few years it been around 50-60 people.
I had a Papaw and a Pappy. My great grandfather was Poppy to his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. I had a Grandma and a Granny. My cousin is Mimi to her grandson.
I’m from the US, and come from a family of 6. My older brother has 2 daughters. That’s it. I met a man who is from a family of 12. When I traveled to meet his family for the first time, his Mom broke it up into 2 parties because there were so many people.
I started with 2 nieces, but now have 19 nieces and nephews, and approximately 30 great nieces and nephews. That last number is always changing, and I can’t keep up. 😁
My brother was in high school football, and the whole family had to see him play, even at the freshman level on Saturday mornings. Mom wouldn’t let me bring a book to read in the stands, so I learned the game out of sheer self-defense against boredom, and love football to this day!
You poor woman! She made you suffer with all that boring football.
@Nicky L What's mean?
I would never do that to a child, but it worked out okay for you and you now have an extra interest.
My mum could never have done that with me. I wouldn't have complied; I didn't believe in following unreasonable demands. Otherwise, I was a model child and simply didn't misbehave. I just got into trouble for my attitude, which hasn't changed much 😆
Having said that, when my younger brother joined a little football team, I went with him for support because I felt that he needed (and deserved) it.
I was introduced to Pass the Parcel by watching Bluey. Looks fun.
6:57 - I've notice how - in books that take place in Britton- People so often put the word "our" in before mentioning a family member. "Our Mum", "Our Neville" and so on. As if a subtle reminder to the listener that the family is a united front and to mess with one of them is to mess with all of them.
I love watching the linguistic differences and comparing them to Canada (as an American living in Canada). It's such a mix of American and British terms. "Mum" and "Mom" are pretty interchangeable here, at least in my part of Ontario.
....I hear no differences here near "Canada South"......
Did you bring ketchup chips because I can't get them here and would love to try them out.
That's interesting. Nicky, are you saying that it's pronounced that way, or that it's spelled Mom in the Midlands?
If so, I'm surprised I've never come across that in any writing. Also, I don't live that far away, but I've never heard of it.
Do you know if it's an old custom or a recent adoption?
my grandparents were called "grandma seaside" (she lived by the sea), "grandpa france" (who funnily enough lived in France), then "grandma and grandpa" as they were still together, but she past away 10 years ago. "grandma seaside" is now just grandma as she now is my only grandma, she also moved house and isn't by the sea anymore - i jokingly say grandmama sometimes. "grandpa france" is sometimes still referred to like that but i usually just say "my mum's dad/father" or "your dad/father" when talking to my mum who is the only person i really mention him to, his new wife is just referred to as her name, i've only met her twice. i haven't spoken to my other grandpa for 4 years now :(
I had a great great grandma named rocking chair grandma. My great grandpa was grandpa Bea. His wife my great gran was named Bea.
I did a research paper for a college anthropology course on this exact subject. Having lived on both sides of the pond in my youth, I didn’t really have to waste much time in the library.
The only big graduation party I had was when I finished nursing school. Birthday parties in my family just involved Grandparents and Aunts & Uncles.
I'm also from the midwest, though a little further south than Indiana, and we called my dad's parents Meme (Mee-mee) and Papa (Paw-paw). The first grandchild, my cousin, got to choose what we would all call them as we grew up. I wasn't around for my mom's parents unfortunately, but we refer to them as Grandma or Grandpa [mother's maiden name].
All my grandparents were call Grandpa/Grandma [last name]. It might have had to do with the fact that both my grandpas had the same first name.
Hello Lawrence. 👋 I'm the youngest of a family of ten. Just the other day at Walmart I saw a family of six, plus I see lots of large families at church. Throughout the pandemic, I have gained about 5 new great nieces and nephews. One of my nieces just had her fourth child. 😋
Love your -humor and wit. Have seen many of your videos and thot id comment a bit. I enjoy each video ive seen and look forward to more. Dan, northern florida, 2/12/22
There's something to be said for family and it HAS to be said because it's unprintable. -Mark Twain.
💜💜💜
When I was a kid (in the U.S.) we only had graduation parties for high school and college. Now that I have children, I see it has changed--there are "graduations" from every change of schooling (elementary, middle, jr. high, high, uni).
I've , in the states, also heard of graduation ceremonies for kindergarten.
Which is a thing in China, I have taught English in a Chinese kindergarten and 13 schools all attended the same ceremony. Not every kindergarten in the whole city, just those affiliated with us.
Oh, there are a great many more “titles” for family in the U.S. than you mentioned. Along with your assorted names for Granddad, I’ve heard Pops, Poppy, Papa, Grandpa, and Gramps, to name a few. My own grandfather was “Granny Doc,” (he was a surgeon). Strange, I know, but this is what comes with the misnomers of a first grandchild, LOL. He had a great sense of humor, though, and loved it! Anyway, along with Grandmom etc., there’s Gigi, Mimi, Meemaw, Mommy-Rachael (or whatever her first name is), Granny (the way it’s more typically used than in my own family!), Gran, and Grams. No doubt there are many more that aren’t coming to mind. We Americans like nicknames, I guess.
No, we just have so many societies and languages to choose from that the family variations on those cultures is available to many of us. My great grand parents were mostly Irish, English and Scots, but I had one who was Spanish. My parents grew up in different neighborhoods, but they were both culturally diverse and therefore open to many variations of names for elder family members.
I'd never known Gigi was a thing. My mother in law has her grandchildren refer to her as GG. But she says its for Grandma Gayle.
When my husband and I started having kids my husbands grandmother came up to me and asked if it was ok for me to teach the baby that she is chief grandma. She felt uncomfortable with great grandmother thing. I thought it was a great idea it give that honor. So there is another crazy one on the American side
We called my great-grandmother Nana back when I was a kid. Didn't live with her though, but she made some of the best sugar cookies.
One of my friends is nicknamed "Shotsie", and that is exactly what her grandkids call her. Or 'Shots" for short. I'll have to ask her where that nickname came from.
One thing that my large extended family does that I HATE is they will go out of their way to go to funerals but often pass on birthday parties and graduations. Then at the funeral they will say, “We really need to spend more time together.” It’s annoying because they don’t mean it. But my sisters, my grown children, and I spend a lot of time together. And my daughter and granddaughter live with me so we are multigenerational and I love it.
From Tennessee here and everyone has a Nana. Also Gigi is often used for Great Grandma
The business of every school level having a "cap & gown" graduation has only really erupted in the lats thirty years or so. In my youth you only needed cap-n-gown for high school, and college (if you attended & matriculated same).
I would even say more like 20 years, as I don't remember anything but high school graduations in the 90s - but maybe the Midwest was slow to adopt the idea?
In the UK, the cap and gown ceremony is only used for graduation of university (college). Although there might be celebrations, including proms, to mark leaving high school (at 16 years old) and 6th form or college (at 18 years old, except Scotland where it's 17 years old).
Younger children might have a little celebration assembly and party at school, including being given a certificate by their teacher or head teacher. It's a nice way to mark the occasion, especially if they're saying goodbye to friends.
The celebration of leaving school is a relatively recent thing in the UK. They didn't exist in the '80s. School discos or parties were the most we had 😄
A couple of thoughts on grandparent names: here in the South, Papaw and Mamaw/Meemaw are grandparent names in some families and great-grandparent names in others. In my family, on my mom's side, only my great-grandfather lived long enough for us to need a name for him, and that was Papaw. My grandma's great-grandchildren grew up calling her Gigi (GeeGee?), presumably inspired by the initials of "great-grandma." Across the nation, we may or may not be more likely to also have ethnicity-specific names: grandparents named Opa/Oma (German? Czech?), Nonno/Nanna (Italian), Zayda/Bubbe (Yiddish/Jewish - in our household it was Baba, which I understand to be a Russian-Ukrainian variant).
Also, on this topic, I highly recommend an adorable comedy video by It's a Southern Thang called "Choosing Your Grandma Name." In fact, you've inspired me to go watch it right now!
P.S. but first I will add, on the subject of younger siblings, that some of us grew up being called somebody's baby sister or baby brother, particularly common where there's a larger-than-average age gap - in my case, nine years. And some of us are trying to get the word "niblings" to catch on as a faster, gender neutral way to say "nieces and nephews."
Great coverage of the ethnic names for grandparents! I would just add that some, at least Southerners, refer to their siblings as little (younger) or big (older) sister/brother. This becomes either contentious or hilarious as the siblings grow up. We also, for larger families often have to get quite detailed with the relationships - like going to my first cousin once removed’s wedding - i.e. my cousin’s daughter’s wedding - let alone going into which side of the family you’re related.
Opa/Oma is Dutch, isn't it?
@@marthahancock7938 I always thought they were German. They are the preferred names used in the Pennsylvania Dutch/Deutsch side of my family. Most of the ancestors from that side of the family came from the former Holy Roman and Austro-Hungarian empires ie some from lands now known as the Czech Republic and Hungary but other from areas formerly as Pomerania, Schleswig, etc. All I’ve been able to find for certain is that their primary language when entering the US was listed as German.
@@curiouslywoven9737 German and Dutch are closely related.
"Nevvy" covers nephews and nieces nicely 😏.
h/t Louisa May Alcott #DaisyDemi #MegJohn #JoLaurie
“Kid brother” or “kid sister” is usually a term reserved for siblings that are a lot younger, like ten or more years.
I've never heard either of those terms... Baby sister/brother, but never Kid. But I live in the land of Coke=all soft drinks... HEB is the only grocery store, and Wataburger is on every corner.
I'm really enjoying your observations (and your sense of humour), Laurence. And yes, that's a "u" in that word. I was born in the US, married a Canadian and moved to his side of the Niagara River many years ago (guess we've been performing "Lost in the River" all this time!). As someone who went to the trouble of becoming Canadian, my little observation is that we fall halfway between British and American in many ways. Maybe that's the subtle difference that visiting Americans can't quite put their fingers on.
My Mum and I live about a block apart and basically function as a two campus household. I'm not sure how common this is in either country, but it's interesting. Also, I called my mother 'Mom' until I was in high school when, for no fathomable reason other than I'm weird, I switched to 'Mum'. My father and step-mother are "Oma" and "Opa" to their grandchildren and my aunt, who was originally from Saipan, was "Mimi" to my youngest cousins.
Mimi was my nickname when I was a little girl. I wanted to use that instead of Grandma, especially as my son-in-law's mother is also Grandma. My daughter had already vetoed Nanna.
So, now, I'm "other Grandma" 🙁
When I was a kid this was how birthdays went. Immediate family only was invited. One present and a birthday cake which Mom made. Not much variation until my siblings started having kids.
Christmas was celebrated on Christmas Eve with a tree, outdoor lights, and a present from everyone in immediate family. Christmas Day had stockings filled with fruit, nuts, and maybe a candy bar. Not much variation until the siblings had kids.
You just can't tell about Americans.
My birthday was like this. I wanted a birthday party. Mom said no so I stopped asking. I just wanted about 6 kids over but it never happened.