Jekyll - Hyde Nightmare - Covert Narcissist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- My latest book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist is available on Amazon: tinyurl.com/y8... The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Lewis Stevenson reminds us of the dark duality of the covert narcissist. Those who are married to covert narcissists are subject to painful verbal abuse behind closed doors. They are dealing with their version of the Jekyll Hyde dilemma. Learn to recognize the covert narcissist, to make your healing and recovery your first priority and to develop new pathways of transformation and thriving in your life.
They have to be " the favorite little boy( or girl) of neighbors and strangers" but treat their family, at home in private, like the shit under their shoes.
I have been with my covert narcissist for 55 years, and just realized it about 3 years ago. Thank you for the videos that are helping.
Charlotte Slemp. You are not alone. God Be with you.
So are you staying? Knowing that you could still, even after this long, have a knife in your back!?
When we realize what we have been entrapped in,the war that waits for us, little financial resources keeps us much longer than we want to. I understand Charlotte, being married to my narc for 23 years. Little emotional support, it is harder than you think.
I have been with mine for 13 years 2 lil kids n part time job just found hes a narc 3 months ago !! Your are not alone time to be strong n courageous n builds ourselves up n LEAVE !!!
55 years is longer than what normal couples make it. Why would it take this long to realise? I am confused.
This is one of the reasons you should never get involved with someone else's marriage. You don't know what s going on behind closed doors. (unless their is obvious abuse I mean)
The minute after we said our wedding vows there was a physical change in my husband.
Immediately his face and body turned arrogant and sneering.
I became his possession and his enemy. All other women became desirable and I became the ball-and-chain. After knowing a Prince Charming who was romantic and charming--it was quite a shock.
Roger That 'the ball and chain' - exactly what I was told I was. He has freedom now, but still not satisfaction.
I never ever again want to be in a tiger's cage!
Today I left. It took me 7 times. I hate myself for this and have been trashing myself for staying. So much so that I was suicidal for about a year. I pulled myself out today and am moving across the country in 2 days. And I am SCARED SHITLESS.
Hope you are in a better place today.
I think a marriage with a Covert / malignant Narc must be a horror-trip. ☆ Oh yes, in public they are wonderful people. I am free again. NEVER EVER AGAIN! Thanks Linda.
My husband used to pick a dig or prove me to fight,provoked me to raise my voice he cleverly recorded the conversation did cut,copy and paste.....and made it available to his brothers and friends I till date can't come out of shame,I feel I am sitting naked on the road and all his family and friends are laughing at me.
They are so horrible.
Be blessed be safe Lord knows they're constantly trying to make people into what they want others to be which is self-service regular analysis be blessed
I just wanted to thank you for taking time to post these videos. I realize that I am a narcissist magnet and this has been the trend from an early age. I am a nice guy that will bend over backwards for anyone. I got divorced 2 years ago from a narcissist as I could not take her lack of empathy and mood swings with silent treatments. However, the divorce brought out her true colors as a truly evil person. I was accused in court of being abusive to my kids , an alcoholic so that I would never get custody to my two kids. I lost everything, had to sell my house and rentals and the worst part was yet to come. She ran off to the church elders and painted me as the the bad person to the point that in the end, I was cast out. During the court battle we could not agree on anything . One time I was asking her to have alternating weekends so that I could attend church and her response was almost demonic. She told me that I would only be able to take the kids to church when they are 18. What a nightmare!! fortunately, the judge saw through the evil manipulation and awarded me 50% custody. Before the judge had finished stating the custody schedule, she had stormed out of court.Thanks to God,my life is getting back to normal. The only weird, fortunate or unfortunate thing I find is that as I look for prospective companion, is that I attract all the crazy women.Thanks to your videos, I have stayed clear of them. I listen to you every single day as I drive home and others. Thanks for your hard work
I'm writing from my uncle's computer and am here for the same reasons you are. If you would like a friend please email me at webbucket83 at yandex dotcom. If nothing else, we can at least talk for support.
Hi Brooo, You wrote also: "The only weird, fortunate or unfortunate thing I find is that as I look
for prospective companion, is that I attract all the crazy women." ...
My question is than:
Do you find it fortunate or unfortunate?
It's unfortunate really because these people are a complete waste of time and energy and will leave you emotionally, morally , financially as well as spiritual bankrupt
The tiger cannot change his stripes, it is what it is!
Please fade the end to your intro music (exit music is not as jarring). It's abrupt ending is very jarring, especially to someone w c-ptsd. ... ... ... Your audios are otherwise awesome! So much wisdom! .. .Thank you!.. ... , but for some reason, the timing of the music cut off feels so unsettling. ... ... .. If you can fade it ouy or let it end at a natural point, it would be easier to hear over and over, as we are listening to all of your videos. ... . ... ... ... I'm already so traumatized by my partner. Thanks so much for sharing this important information! . . . . . Blessings to you!!! I look forward to when you can make longer videos on YT. . . . . . . Dr. J and Mr H... that's how I first described my partner. . . So creepy and eerie. . . . ... but now it's SO much worse bc they never get better, only worse with age... ... . Please PLAN SILENTLY IN ADVANCE AND GET OUT!!! I WAS STUPID AND TRIED TO FIX IT. . ..TOLD THEM OF MY PLAN TO LEAVE IF THEE WAS NO CHANGE. . . .THOUGHT I WAS DEALING WITH A HUMAN. . . . THERE IS NOTHING HUMAN ABOUT THIS MONSTER . . .NOTHING CAN EVER FIX IT. . . . . *NOTHING*. . . . . .GET OUT*NOW* BUT SLOWLY AND WISELY AND WITH WISDOM!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡
yes we are sensitive to loud noises sensory.....
Turn off sound put on Closed Captioning ... problem-solved many teachers use music to help
Just found your channel a couple of days ago. You are helping me immensely. As a 66 year old daughter of this type of narcissist , I am just now getting it into my head, she will never change. Thank you. Your information is changing my life.
the beginning.. waking up, only 7 months after 38 years with covert narsicist wife...feels like the worst thing I never knew...im struggling greatly...need prayer..thanks
Do you not consider this syndrome to be a Malignant/Sociopathic narcissist? Thank you.
Thank you...I walk in the room and can she the face changes.His lips pout out and he has bulging eyeballs.Its so disturbing...
This blessed woman knows a covert like no one else (with the exception of a few books I've read) Shes talking about a covert narcissist and she's spot on! I was with one (off and on) for 9 years. They are such toxic people, there are no words to explain it unless you go through this type of covert Narcissistic abuse. Unfortunately, I am forced to co-parent with a covert going on about a year now and it's a new nightmare.
what r. some good books on covert narsicist
@@mreloo Healing from Hidden Abuse
yes..40 years with my covert narsicist wife ...awake 10 months...just unbelievable..i am in shock ...just went through 10 months of torture..with eyes wide open...learned alot..working on exit plan..praying for guidence
mreloo Just want to say I hope you've made it out and are building a new and happy life of freedom. I was married for 30 years and my last 4 months, once that mask was discarded altogether, were like your last months, unbelievable. Life is so much better now, stay strong.
My outwardly religious x husband acted one way in Church and like the devil at home who literally said to me....He wanted to do away with me so that way he would be doing g Gods will. Trust me, the Bible says the devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Some people are possessed.
Be blessed be safe
Sadly, his type is a common occurrence in religious circles. Beware the overtly religious person.
Lived with a real Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde malignant abusive Narc demon for 42 years! Think that experience has finally opened my eyes once I pulled his mask off even thought it had been slipping for years! A scene right out of the Phantom of the Opera when the heroine pulled the Phantom's mask off. My husband loved all the old horror movies from the 30s and 40s and was a combination of all those monsters! Thankfully, I have a great inner strength and lived to tell the tale! Phew! Not surprised really, my late malignant narc abusive father was the same way...all I did in life was follow the same blueprint my late co-dependent empath mother did who died of cancer when I was 21. Wish I knew then what I know now and sure wish my late mother had known about all of this as well.....she might have been able to save her life! Thanks for another great video!
Thats always the way the good die young while true evil get away with their BS. 9 times out of 10. Makes me mad
Was he a latent homosexual also?? The boss I had was led secret life of course..
My hair stood on end everytime I was around him...
I was around a predator and my gut was telling me that... I also wanted to be with him .. it was the most confusing contradictory feeling.... and frightening...now I understand what all that was.
Yeah but a narcissist will also admit they're wrong when it works in their favour.. then something pisses them off again and you're in for it
@Annette Sandoval I believe that they know right from wrong but they lack the empathy towards others to hold themselves accountable for their wrong doings. But I do think they know
One thing I found very difficult is the gas lighting, the silent treatment where our son is talked with, touched, food prepared, concern and control. She has not worked for over 11 years now, blames me when she made to choice to stop. Gets upset when I ask her to help with the finances. Blames me for being bad at finances and only chasing other women (always women that are paid professionals; accountants, financial planners, teachers, etc.).
I cannot remember the last time we hugged. It all pretty much stopped / was withdrawn over years once our son got to out 4 years old. She has bad mouthed me in front of our son, puts headphones on when I try to talk to her. When I gave her an ultimatum to get professional help to work on the relationship else it will be separation (The whole thing is just killing me on the inside), she was like; I can counsel us, you need to fix it (Confess all my sins to her to e forgiven - what sins I've never cheated, oh she meant even the very fleeting thought of another woman is adultery).
She most of the time has like a double life. She stays in front of her laptop for hours watching TH-cam, writing her version of the bible, and looking on illuminati stuff (oh yep I'm a full card carrying illuminati / freemason member - she said it must be true). Just sick of it, twenty years of my life for someone who is not capable of a real relationship.
Is that a question or just shaming language? This is exactly why many men do not talk about what happens to them. Most real victims do not and prefer not to think of themselves as a victim. I have only stated what has been going on in my life, sharing with others who may e looking but not quiet sure as what they have been experiencing is slightly different. That was my dilemma for years, I kept questioning what was happening.
Then you get some women who are just, "Are you a man." Well yes I am, and what does that have to do with a person being abused? Having the emotional and physiological mind games being played on you. being used as an ATM because the wife wanted to retire and be supported while giving very little in return because her time is so much more valuable. And then a son who sees this as the relationship dynamic, he will think if this is what marriage is about, not for me and wow women are really nasty self centred people.
Then I have to think about the legal side of things. All my wife has to do is walk into a door and call the police. Then my life gets even more difficult (That has happened to friends of mine). This is why men are walking away from women, the risk / cost / benefit equation says it is not worth it. So, do what we want and leave women to themselves. We do not hate we just do not care (give the time to think about it as we are too busy with our lives and having fun without women.) We are not coming back to the negotiation table we're out.
For me it is healing and moving on and enjoying life. I'm not a victim I'm just writing my experiences. You on the other hand do not sound like a nice person. Certainly you lack empathy because you would have phrased your question / statement differently to find the truth, if you were interested.
Veritas- I'm the same guy you are different name, I can talk to you for hours and our stories will have the ending dismissed, unappreciative, and destroyed of course she is the expert on what's best for me or my feelings which she wouldn't know because she already has the answer, The problem is (An Bee) is there children attached to this monster and creatively we need to capture them and remove the pain it has nothing to do with being a man, so I punch her in the face then judge says "You Should Be a Man and walk away" same with the cops, (1) bruise your gone! like my wife as I work 2 jobs she stays home and the Warden runs the prison, I left that environment and cut the cash flow, I put just enough money in to make sure the bills are paid and my mind is free from suicide (because that's the only way out) unless you don't value yourself..believe I've put on 10 pounds of muscle because of that mental harassment. She has lost control of me, but I've gained control of me, for some JACK ASS to say be a man YOU ARE A MAN! you haven't put your hands her and don't run away!!!!
Son had his 15th birthday last month. The very scripture she put in his birthday card was; "Honour your mother and father ......" She even read it out loud for him to hear. Son and I looked at each other with the, "Yep she read it." The golden uterus has spoken.
When they say God says divorce is wrong and a sin, what she means is "She is God" listen to her.
The whole thing is just sickening.
Hope things are going well for you and you got distance from that crap. Peace to you.
@@veritasliberabitvos454 I am a child of a covert narcissist who was shielded from knowing my father. I wonder if this is how his life was really like with her. She had him work overseas where he made the most money. I grew up believing he had another family and truly didn’t love us because he could have easily taken a job where we were. I never knew him, only stories of him from my siblings. My mother never talked about him and when I asked, she would romanticize a story that I could not have witnessed nor can my older siblings corroborate. I wonder if by coming across videos like this I’m meant to read this comment. I have always wanted to know who my dad was and I wanted to know if he knew my ma had something terribly wrong in her head. And if he did, I wonder if he gave up trying to save us simply because it was too complicated. After his death, she claimed no will and although the jurisdiction where the monies reside specifically state that disbursement of funds is law and she would still be walking away a millionaire. She lies in every conversation. She will lie even when evidence is in front of her. Her step kids (my half siblings, same father, their mother died when they were 10yrs old or younger) are so psychologically abused that they believe they will get anything from her at all. Reality is, the eldest is only 9 years younger than her, and her siblings are also about to retire, two with little to no savings, and another who’s money immediately goes into her husbands bank account (never had any money for herself). None of them believe there is no will but they are too cowardly, trauma-bonded, and psychologically manipulated into believing they will get anything substantial. And if so, they would get it at a time when they are already old and probably about to die too, where the money would be completely useless to them. Now would be a great time to dole out dad’s hard earned money. I left the family a couple of years ago, only to come back for my father’s funeral, only to witness again the blatant sociopathic behaviour from my mother, and sadly, my disturbingly manipulated siblings (half and full) who seem to derive almost demonic energy by defending her and making me the ‘identified patient’ for telling the truth with evidence. This type of virtue signalling and crusade for mom is evidence of just how abused these people are. I assert none of them grieved for their own mother’s passing; and some are even better sons and daughters to her than her own children. The abused want to stay blind because they would have to admit 60+ years of this monster ruining their lives, psychologically and financially. Ma is 16 yrs younger than dad. I never wanted to believe it but I am the birth child of a gold digging evil step-mother. And get this, she had their mother buried with her family’s burial plot, so as to keep the image of the ‘one family’. I thought that was honourable growing up but now that I’m an adult and see her for what she is, that was the ultimate manipulative move.
I have a covert narc mom and grandiose narc dad. They golden child my oldest and allowed his covert narc wife to run the family. I left. Went No contact unconsciously. I didn’t know I was doing the right thing and felt wrong for so long. Now I know I did the right thing. Peace n love to u all
Although my stepfather would’ve still likely died from Alzheimer’s, now that I know that my mother is a malignant, covert narcissist, I’ll always wonder if she pushed that along...
I’ve definitely seen the Jekyll/Hyde thing with my mother. The being positive and nice - then Hyde stops by to do some damage. The Jekyll part is meant to convince me that the coming harm is unintended, doesn’t mean anything, and that I’m just reading something into what she’s saying.
But, I’ve also seen it in the Linda Blair (The Exorcist) form. The having of decent conversation for a time and, suddenly, completely out of context it’s, “Your sister and I are all you’ve GOT!” At the time, I didn’t know what I was looking at. I didn’t put her ass out on the highway as we were 2 states from home, but I replied by saying, “So, you mean that all I have is SHIT.” I don’t remember where it went from there. But, it is the main reason I don’t let the raggedy witch in my car anymore.
Ha nice comeback! She deserved it.
My narcissistic mother left me a voicemail message to call her last Tuesday. She sounded so normal. She said we hadn’t talked in some time. I didn’t return the call. So, she leaves a voicemail message tonight. She sounded so worried as, she just wanted to know if I’m OK. I’m going to leave her a 3 second voicemail message, once I think she’s already in bed and can’t make it to the phone. This is only because, as she’s recently done to my sister, she called the police, when my sister hadn’t called her 2-3 times that day, so the police called me, asking if I knew where my sister was. I told them I’m no contact with her, gave them some background on the situation, they asked me her age, I guess, to confirm I was actually her sister and/or to figure out for themselves that a nearly 50 year old woman shouldn’t have her mother tracking her down through the authorities, because she didn’t fulfill her obligation of calling her a required number of times per day.
But yeah, Dr. Jekyll is on display right now. Perhaps, my sister is making her distance between herself and mom as, she may be starting to figure out that something is wrong here, despite mom wanting to give her a house up the street. Mom may be worried that the neighbors won’t see one of both of her daughters showing up for Thanksgiving and Christmas and she needs that narcissistic supply of my sister and I at one another’s throats that she’s hoping her triangulation has manifested, while she sits back and says, “Your problems are between the two of you. I had nothing to do with it.” I can see her now, watching the two of us go at each other and, the only time she’d look as if something is actually wrong, is if we’re about to bash one another’s skulls in - with her living room lamps. But, hey, we can all get together and do this again for Christmas, right? Most would fall into her cat of BS since she sounded like such a worried mother. “Oh, gee, call your mom. She sounds worried.” She’s worried that she won’t have supply and she’s worried what the neighbors will think. That’s it.
Well, unfortunately, when I called, she picked up. She said she was on another call but, wanted to nail me down to another time we could speak and wanted to nail me down for Thanksgiving. Nope. She got the message though. But of course, as a narcissist, she likely feels, “I don’t know what your problem is, but I know I had nothing to do with it.” If I engaged, it would end up with rehashing to explain to her what she’s done and her trying to gaslight/browbeat me into believing that those things didn’t happen, weren’t her intentions, or were my misunderstandings of what she’d done. And this would be, you guessed it, in an effort to hoover me back in for a repeat of the same behavior.
It does take time though. It takes time for a person to get used to this pattern. It can seem very surreal. They can out on such an act and look so very normal when they want you to do something. But, after that, SHTF.
Between this family, work, and dating, I will most certainly enjoy simply spending time with only my 2 cats over the next few days. Leaving the house just isn’t worth the stress.
Thank you so much for discussing the covert.
Thanks much this helps me with closure from the divorce and what happened.
I heard the word narcissist from mom- at age 13..she talked about coercion, dr heckle/mr hyde, silent treatments, lavish gift-giving..this was in the 1970's. She was talking about father. All she wanted was for this man to listen, tell her the problem- she loved him. He would not say a word.
Yes Dr jekyl Mr Hyde perfectly describes these characters. Its sickening behavior. Run fast when u encounter one.
Interesting ✍🏻I was close to a boss years ago who said his therapist said he was this person.. Yes he was
I want to thank you for your time and help with your powerful videos . I've experienced all of the abuse from my soon to be xwife of 28 years. Before I was discarded she made one last attempt to get rid of me .
She had all planned out to go on a weekend getaway on our anniversary to South Padre island , she took plenty of pictures of us together .
It felt staged big hugs and smile's for the camera . I'm not a good swimmer she asked if I would get in the water ( ocean ) with her . I was hesitant but I walked into the ocean with with her leading the way . She's an excellent swimmer by the way , she walking backwards deeper into the ocean she kept saying come on I can still feel the bottom by then the water was chest high when she said come on out further I stopped and looked back towards the Beach . I then realized what she was trying to do , I was way out in the water I turned back towards her and said you're trying to drown me and went back towards the Beach .
This evil person didn't deny nothing she just looked at me as to say I almost got you .
You are talking about men becouse you dont explain a female covert narcissist and how they spin everything around.
I don't know what you are talking about usually the mister Hyde is the spouse that has been gaslight by the covert to make it look like the scapegoat is the narcissist.
My mum's life exactly. I am healed. My NF n NS. Thx a lot.
Thank you- she tried to get me to believe that it was just me, the problem. I accept that my gaslighting covert narcissist with sadistic traits will not change. I cannot live in her program which seeks my slow death (figurative or otherwise). Our sin nature only overcome by the Son nature transformation at the Resurrection.
The minute the door closes behind the visitors , their mask falls , n the Hell breaks through n loose.
THANK you. The family knew. The mother knew this man had a diagnosis but lied. How could the whole entire family lie like that? Maybe the mother just as dangerous if not more....
The narcissistic family is a hive mind.
Yes.
The mask falls and the primary phycopath comes out and primary will always always come out
I suspect my partner might be one. :( I feel like I am addicted to him though.
Fraud
I'm a covert narcissist, not at all good to be one.
Can you explain what troubles you?
Hmm really,??
The trauma that has been done to you a long time ago was not good at all, too
have some more vino doc. slurring is ok, I'm a doktur!