My favorite subtle detail in this song is the repetition of “stop, you’re losing me” three times in the chorus. That’s the amount of times you’re trained to try and regain pulse with a defibrillator
@@irisangelina but they're for regain a heart beat usually when we're with someone we love and treasure, our brain creats endorphin, the "joy" hormone, to relieve stress and raise our levels of euphoria and well-being, so those feelings accelerate the heartbeat and taylor using a weak heartbeat during the chourus 3 times means that she's struggling to bring back that happiness she used to have in her relationship
I get the feeling that she wrote this either right before or during the breakup, and didn't want to release it immediately because the fans would definitely speculate. It got put on the backburner til the news broke and she felt okay enough to put it out. If she wrote this with the rest of Midnights then.... damn.... it was a long road to release it. My heart breaks for her.
Same - I feel it was around the Grammy's party! That was the last time they were together some place - also the line I am the best thing at this party kind of makes me think that!
In the Bejeweled video the pocket watch said something like, 'Exile ends' at 11:59 or midnight? I'm wondering if she was saying her being so shut off like she was with Joe, is over? I dunno. She's a good person and deserves the best!
I just re-read this comment and came to the realization that SHE would've married HIM no matter what, because that was how much she loved him... But HE wouldn't marry HER at all...
Where was this kind of song 29 years ago when I was going through my divorce? I needed it so badly! I was diagnosed by a "marriage (more like a divorce) councilor" as a people pleaser, the "pathological people pleaser" lyric cut me to the bone! This kind of pain is SOOOO real!
There wasn't this kind of song because a songwriter like Taylor is extremely rare and she was only 4 years old back then! I'm sorry to heard that and I hope this is helping you to heal better now :)
I feel that we are people pleasers because we were never validated or loved unconditionally. So we seek that through others. I worry that Taylor is a people pleaser because perhaps she doesn’t feel good enough just how she is to the public. I don’t know, but it worries me because it’s toxic.
I personally think this is one of Taylor's best songs she's ever written. There are so many lyrics that call back to previous songs: Invisible String, Betty, Peace, Lover, Paper Rings, Afterglow, The Great War, Maroon, Labyrinth, Tolerate it, Champagne Problems. Not only that but the symbolism of the heart beat and performing CPR. It's so powerful that there's at least one line that everyone can relate to, even if it's not a romantic relationship. I've seen people on TikTok say that they had a friend breakup or went no contact with their parents and this song gutted them. It truly is a masterpiece.
I 100% agree! This song makes me feel like Joe was waiting for Taylor to change in some way, to be less…something, idk what. But it sounds like she wanted to be chosen and he never could get to the point of marriage with her and that’s devistating. I always imagined SHE was the one that didn’t want to be married “no deal the 1950s deal they want from me” (lavender haze)but now I’m realizing “give you my wild, give you a child”(peace)….she might have been the one who wanted more and he just couldn’t say yes which means he was saying no….and withholding that love was killing her “there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love The slowest way is never loving them enough” (high infidelity)
Remember "Peace" about being with her there will never be Peace because of the paparazzi, tabloids, not being able to leave your house with security and everything else, this song to me is he isn't sure about the relationship because of all that. He is very private and "normal." I believe they were talking about marriage and that was the only reason they didn't get married. It is heartbreaking. She is always being talked about somewhere and especially since life has returned to normal and she put out new music. Her fame got bigger after Folklore and Evermore but it was during Covid. I am happy to see she seems to be able to compartmentalize the things so she can kicka** on the tour. I sure couldn't. 😢
I wholeheartedly agree with the relatableness of the song. I won’t go into detail, but with all the stuff going on currently, I apply this song to one of my closest friendships because of how I feel. besides the “and I wouldn’t marry me either” line, it can totally be interpreted and dedicated to a friendship, especially if you’re so used to telling each other how much you platonically love each other. idk, the song is just so heartbreaking, regardless of who it’s for 😭
The way this woman can write a whole book within a song is probably one of the most magical things about her. The fact that songs about her life can fit so well into ours shows how masterful she is at her craft. This girl was just born with so much talent & luckily had a family see that talent and support her in this journey! I’m so thankful for Taylor Swift! She deserves everything she has (one of the few rich celebrities who actually do)
The part where she says “I’m getting tired even for a Phoenix” KILLS ME. Cause unfortunately she has been disappointed time after time in trying to find and have that one true love that will last for a life time. As a fan of hers, she is always the one cheering me up when I listen to her music and getting me out of my darkest points in life. So to hear her say she’s at a point where it is getting hard for her to rise again from the ashes when she’s been such a motivator for me to do so COUNTLESS of times IS SO heartbreaking
My takeaways from this song: 1-it lasted way longer than it should have, she knew there was no hope but she stayed, she was gaslighting herself basically 2- she's tired of dating 3-at the begining she liked that joe was distant because she thought it meant he was mysterious and elusive, but as time went by she started to see that distance for what it really is, indifference
One thing I haven’t heard as many people mention is the line “how long could we be a sad song til we were too far gone…” bc during a folklore interview, she mentioned that she and Joe bonded a lot over specifically sad song. And the fact that the relationship where they WROTE sad songs TOGETHER then became the next sad song she wrote just breaks me
I also initially thought Sweet Nothing was about Joe, but something felt off about that, and You're Losing Me and the breakup made it click: all the songs about Joe have had an element of melancholy and/or sacrifice. From the very beginning, there was a theme of needing to run/hide from the world for the relationship to work. Even Paper Rings, which is so tonally upbeat, is Taylor offering to give the (shiny) things she wants up for him. Whoever Sweet Nothing is about wants nothing from Taylor except that she be herself. Not only did Joe want something from Taylor, he wanted something she couldn't possibly give him: a quiet, normal life. She literally asks in Peace, "would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" and You're Losing Me sounds like her coming to the realization that the answer is no. (Sweet Nothing fits Andrea far better)
@@bettinaleah366 yeah, but that sort of confirmed it even more for me. He could’ve been helping her write a song about someone they thought would be his mother-in-law.
It's interesting to me that she said "you wouldn't admit that we were sick" instead of "you wouldn't admit that we were dead". If the relationship was dead, there would be no hope at all for it and it'd be much easier to let go of it. We have to bury what's dead and move on from it, no matter how much it hurts. You'd never rethink what's dead because there's nothing left to rethink, just reminisce. However, what's sick can be healed. This relationship could've been healed and reinstated back to its usual happiness. For whatever reason, they were not doing so well, but it didn't seem as severe or it really wasn't as severe, but they never sought the medicine for it. They never bothered to try and be healthier. This hurts all the more, because there was hope, just a hopeless opposing party. And the "you wouldn't admit". This realization didn't go both ways. One of them had snapped out of denial and the other was either too clouded by denial to see what was really going on, or didn't admit it in worry of what would go wrong if they did. They'd rather hang onto the guilt and the false sense of security the silent guilt gave them then actually do something about the problem. This gives a lot of space to rethink constantly, which is really painful. Taylor's word choice is unmatched.
That's why they should've gone to couple therapy and individual therapy to fix their issues (she will never find happiness if she doesn't solve her issues)
@Fosmin Clorin you push therapy way too much imo. I've been there and done that many times for different scenarios, and it it has NEVER helped. It is always worth a try, but it is not a fix all and doesn't always work and can be very expensive. 🤷🏻♀️
I remember her saying in one interview that her and Joe loved sad songs so much… And listening her singing “How long could we be a sad song…” cuts so deep 🙈 Then she was the happiest but still loving writing sad songs and here I could feel the real pain and loss… 😢 I hope she finds her one 💔
This just broke my heart, I was with a guy on and off for 4 years who I desperately wanted to marry but he just couldn't make that commitment to me. The line "I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser" broke my heart because all Taylor has ever wanted was to be loved. At 17 she talked about finding the one, in Lover she talked about wanting to be with him forever in multiple songs, in folklore she made it clear in invisible string that she thought he was her soulmate.
Just because someone wanted to get married doesn't mean she was equipped to handle a marriage. She's just as responsible to be a mature partner for Joe just as he is to her. And she's shown multiple times in her songs how she's so in love with love and romance but is still having a hard time being realist about it. If anything more adults should feel bad for Joe and how much he had to endure her childishness with her signals and overthinking for six years without ever washing his dirty laundry in public while she was free to do so.
@@Lime1958 huh? If he didn't wanted to endure her "childishness" then he could've just break up with her. Let's not put all the blame on Taylor. And let's not put Joe on a pedestal either, we literally don't know how he was in the relationship. Why can't we see everyone as equals?
The chorus for some reason gives me the imagery of like doing chest compression frantically and someone else just tells you to stop because it's not working and only hurting the patient more. Maybe I watch too much Grey's Anatomy but I get that energy
I thought about it similarly. But more like he’s watching her die and not doing anything about it. He’s losing her and she’s frustrated saying like YOUR LOSING ME? WHY DONT YOU DO SOMETHING.
@@Catalinamercado0 but the line where she says not you're running down the hallway you know what they all say don't know what you got until it's gone gives the impression that he did realise something was wrong but it was too late. She goes back and forth between begging him to save her and telling him her heart won't start for him anymore like she's moved on but can't believe it herself yet.
I always wondered if she has a therapist or some profesional helping her get through all this hard situations and feelings because when she is on stage or when people see her she looks so happy. Like I couldn’t bounce back so quickly especially after such a long relationship. I respect her so much.
She doesn’t, she’s said she’s never seen a therapist because explaining all her years of fame and experiences would be impossible, so she talks to her mom. Which is terribly sad, because it’s likely all her limiting beliefs that cause her to repeat the same patterns came from her upbringing (we all have these, this is not at all a shot at her or her family) and she’s still only getting that same logic and comfort. Makes it almost impossible to grow and break cycles. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year and when I’m having an especially overwhelming day I’ll call my mom to vent and all her responses and comfort is just.. so difficult to even listen to bc all my faults and difficulties are mirrored back to me in a way I never saw before therapy. She’s gotta get a therapist, moms are great, lovely and wise women but they likely are the source of our deepest issues and we’re not going to get past those and grow away from them without clarity and guidance from an outside party.
@@mbb131 thank you for this. Yes I know she is super close with her mom and she considers music and art as her way of therapy… I just can’t imagine having that level of success and all the hardships that comes with it and everything being so public and not have any kind of professional help. It can be beneficial sometimes to have that different view.
@@IsabellaS-d2w but Taylor is really paranoid about stuff. And if I were her, I probably would be too. Imagine… you her therapist, have her of notes, private conversations, etc. You now want to retire. You know you aren’t planning to work again so maintaining your license isn’t as attractive as doing a tell-all book, making literally millions and retiring to the south of France. So no, an NDA is a must.
it makes me think of the lyrics I’m yours to keep and I’m yours to lose. He just didn’t want to fight for her and I think that’s where you insert Matty Healy. I don’t think Taylor with this tour coming up has time to process this break up and so she’s replacing it with something fun so that she doesn’t have to feel her feelings, but when this tour is over, I have a feeling these feelings are going to come back up 🔝
meh. Public perception has always been her personality. She hasn't actually demonstrated that she's capable of doing anything different even since Miss Americana
I think it's different for women. We have usually mourned the relationship before it is over. Women know months before they leave their partner. She's tried and she was waiting for him to fight for her. Men on the other hand are different. They seem OK straight after a break up and bounce back. But a few months later they are the ones that regret and get sad.
Taylors begging of "stop" over and over is so heartbreaking. It hurts to hear it, knowing how that pain feels when you love someone so much but they don't see that they're destroying you until it's too late 😔💔
I'm at the end of a relationship with a narcissist and I really felt the song "Tolerate It" more than others in my situation as I'm sure you can imagine. I feel like I went through the five stages of grief and the last stage, "acceptance" makes parts of this song feel personal to me because they aren't capable of changing and there is no way I could go back. Also, I have to throw everything away except for the knowledge I gained from that heartbreak. Great reaction as always, Mere.
Mere you always say I’m going to try not to stop so much or pause, but you should! Ignore people who get upset at you for pausing. If they want to listen to the whole thing, uninterrupted, they can. We’re here because we want to hear YOUR thoughts. Pause and dissect and reflect! That’s why we keep coming back :)
Yes, I feel the same way! If anyone needs to hear the song first, uninterrupted, they totally can! We are here because of Mere and her reactions and pauses. No need to feel like you should pause less, Mere!!
The bridge is sure haunting, but the lines from pre-choruses hit me too. "Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?" "I know my pain is such an imposition." As a people-pleaser myself, I don't want to give up on people. I'm someone who'd try my best to fix a relationship whether it's romantic or platonic, so it's really hard for me to decide if I should throw out everything we built or keep it. The line, "I know my pain is such an imposition," made it more painful for me. The feeling that your pain is such a bother to them, and the realization that they're no longer emotionally available for you.
Thank you so much Mere for this reaction! Hope you recover soon! And the way we’ve come from the lines in Cornelia Street "I hope I never lose you" to "You're Losing Me". There are many references to her other songs. That line about the bravest soldier reminds me of The Great War. And they eventually didn’t survive it… So sad that their relationship ended… 😢
She references the same thing she referenced in Cornelia Street: Windows swung right open, autumn air Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours We bless the rains on Cornelia Street Memorize the creaks in the floor Then in You're Losing Me: "Remember looking at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light" 😢
Usually the reason a person got into a relationship so fast after breaking up is a coping mechanism to try to forget the pain of that last relationship. I wish Taylor all the best. Relationship is hard work if there's no patience, tolerance, communication and acceptance.
The best thing about taylor's songs are that the more you listen to them, the more you uncover and the more deep and visceral her lyrics seem to be. At first glance of this song I was like "Damn, sad song - beautiful but sad", but after listening to it for a few days, I suddenly see exactly how scarring and traumatic the lyrics in the song are. It's also made me look at hits different in a completely light, because the song is far more upbeat, but still talks about breaking up and reflects similar sad themes.
This song cuts so deep. I love that you referenced "Exile", since that's another song where she was giving all these signs to someone who was completely oblivious to her feelings, until she reached a point where she couldn't continue being the only one trying to make things work - all those "second, third and hundredth chances / Balancing on breaking branches". For some reason, the parallel between the two songs also reminds me of an Aimee Mann lyric: "I could not convince or trust you / To pick up on my hints / Must you leave your fingerprints on everything I called mine?" I'm so glad you had such a phenomenal time seeing Taylor on Friday night! Speaking as an avid concertgoer who suffers now from mild tinnitus, please find a good pair of earplugs to wear when attending shows. I didn't realize just how important this was until the damage was already done and really don't want anyone else to experience it.
Yes to the earplugs thing!! We were absolutely traumatized in middle school (experts came and told us what can happen to your ears) and man, I've never gone anywhere loud without earplugs since!
In the Bejeweled video the pocket watch said something like, 'Exile ends' at 11:59 or midnight? I'm wondering if she was saying her being so shut off like she was with Joe, is over? I dunno. She's a good person and deserves the best!
@@meganlynn83 Oooh, good catch! I'm going to go and rewatch the "Bejeweled" video now. And yes, after all the joy and comfort her music has brought to so many of us, Taylor absolutely deserves some lasting happiness of her own.
It is sad that just when she thought he was the one, he coukdnt commit and she finally realized she had to let go. So I hope we just let her be no matter what!
This song is absolutely devastating and I can’t stop listening to it. I’ve been thinking and analyzing over and over because I truly am in awe over the pain in this song. She knew, going into this relationship, knowing that she would probably do most of the work and sacrifice so much. “Delicate” even says how uncertain the start was because of his dislike of her public persona and the headlines that followed her, even if he tried to move past that in the beginning. “Cornelia Street” talks about how they had a falling out early on because she possibly didn’t believe he was all in like she was so early on, but he fought at that point and she stayed. “Lover”, “Paper Rings”, London Boy”, etc. all talk about how much she wanted him, loved him, and would take him over anything shiny or glamorous in life. She fought for him and lessened her public figure to fight for him. But, it sounds like she ultimately decided she cared so much about the life she’d built and was recognizing her worth in all of this during lockdowns and the re-records and she needed him to fight and choose her over all the bullshit. And it sounds like he didn’t. And that is absolutely devastating. And yet… there’s nothing malicious or hateful in this song. There’s still nothing but love, hurt and longing that maybe she’s wrong about things coming to an end. Practically pleading one last time for him to turn around and not run away, but fight for her and for them instead. 😭😭
I NEVER comment on anything. But this song destroyed me. Not just relationship wise but everyone in my life whose destroyed me and I've given everything for, this song is everything. My absolute favorite song. Screaming at someone who can't understand that's what your done, gahhh. This is so healing for me
This reminds me so much of a 5 year relationship I was in a couple of years ago, and what I'm about to say is why I think no one should be too hard on Joe. When I met him I was so sad and lost, a lot of the things in my life fell apart in such a short period of time, and the worst part was it was all out of my control (deaths, sicknesses and addictions in my family and friends who turned out not to be friends since most of them weren't there for me, and it was the first time in years that I was the one who needed help). He didn't care about any of that, he cared only about me. And he was there, for years, the best thing that ever happened to me, almost unreal. As time went on though, something changed and I felt like he wasn't all in like I was, like he didn't care for us as he should have, that he started taking me and us for granted, etc. Years later after I left him because I felt exactly like Taylor in this song, no longer willing to fight since he wasn't, we met each other and talked for hours. It turns out, his side of the story was that for me nothing was ever enough and something was always missing, that I was so caught up in my pain, melancholia, and haunted by past that I kept projecting it onto the future and him, and although he tried and tried, it got really hard for him too, to deal with all of my inner demons day in and day out. And although he didn't necessarily want to do it, he started shutting off. The objective truth? I'd say somewhere in the middle. I am now happy with someone else, as is he, and we're in such great places in our lives, so no hard feeling from either side. But I just think it's important to have that in mind - Joe was there for years and years, when so many left her, and she always talks about how she has a lot of inner problems with herself, so it couldn't have been easy for him either. While this song is so sad, and I'm sure Taylor was suffering, I also learned that you can't glare at someone and send signals expecting them to read your mind, you need to ask for what you need. And you also can't be surprised when someone does get tired from all your pain (I know my pain is such an imposition) and sets boundaries no longer wanting to carry it with you. It does hurt, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt them as well. At the end of the day, this was a loving relationship that gave so much to both of them at the time when they needed it, but it has run its course and there's nothing to be done about that. Please just remember to be kind, this isn't a story about a cheating narcissistic asshole, it's about a kind human who loved her a lot and probably just got hurt the same way she did.
Ever since the breakup became public I wondered if maybe the balance in their relationship had change since the pandemy. Now she is no longer in need of hiding from the public who was so against her when the relationship started and is instead embrassing her success (as she should) and maybe she doesn't need him as much or not in the same way and he was seeing another side of her that he has not seen before and maybe didn't like. After all we dont know anything about his point of view of the relationship since he is not writting songs or talking publicly about it. I could be completely wrong and maybe he is the one who changed or like you said couldn't handle her issues anymore. We'll never know and honestly even if I am curious, I dont think people should care that much, it's their life they don't owe us anything but we do owe them respect no matter what
Everyone needs therapy and need to work on themselves before commiting to a serious relationship - marriage - raising kids (or just for their own happiness)
She is a STRONG woman to share this song so soon after a very significant breakup. The words she chooses are always emotion-invoking, but this is a new level. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Have you posted your reaction to Exile? I looked for it. There is a lot there to unpack. Not sure I liked that song at first but now I just love it.
The resignation in the sigh at the beginning. The quavering breaths in between are all real. She always leaves those things in her recordings. Like the laugh in tiwwchnt as she’s talking about forgoing the person I’m not even going to name. It’s one of the things she does to keep her records raw and real. And if you listen closely when she sings “MY HEART WON’T START ANYMORE” the heartbeat in the background stops. And that was her heartbeat. She covers every little detail
This song hits home for me so much.. to me it’s the song to my husband during my time suffering from postpartum depression.. I took myself to therapy and get medication and eventually dug myself out… but he couldn’t see I was dying. Such a deep and beautiful song. Will forever remind me of that time.
The way her lyrics reach anyone and everyone in the deepest recesses of their memories and hearts, it's amazing. She has such qn amazing gift with lyrics.❤️
I genuinely am in love with the tragic sadness of this song. A lyrical masterpiece, she really is a musical genius and the best of our time. Coming from an extreme all too well stan this hits new levels of sadness 😭
Nothing worse than being alone in a relationship and I mean nothing! She said it all in this very sad song, many of us have been there. I wish for Taylor someday to find the love she so believes in and deserves.
The heartbeat running through the song is actually Taylor’s. She recorded her actual heart trying so hard to keep beating for Joe but his frequent apathy and occasional hostility killed her love for him. Watching interviews of Joe and Travis, where they each talk about Taylor, is extremely eye opening. Travis is enthusiastic and giddy when he talks about her, and even in the very beginning of their relationship Joe never seemed all that happy. Taylor wants that forever love, and of course we don’t know the future, but I can see this relationship going the distance. I want her to have that happy ever after. And babies - Taylor would make an amazing mother if she wants to have kids.
“My face was grey, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick”… “I’m just getting *color back into my face*, I’m just mad as hell cause I loved this place, for So Long London”
This song absolutely destroys me. She has this mind-blowing ability of putting situations and feelings into words so effortlessly, in a way that makes you feel like you know exactly what she’s saying and what she’s feeling… and it gives such a visceral reaction. I go through such a rollercoaster with her music because I feel her ups and I feel her downs. Heartbreakingly beautiful!
Her lines about being a soldier in the bridge are reflective of The Great War. I also suspect the lines of the room being thick with loss and indecision and her pain being such an imposition could support the thoughts of Bigger than the Whole Sky referencing a miscarriage. A loss like that can destroy a relationship especially a long term relationship where they haven’t gotten married yet.
I've always thought this theory as well. I think they suffered through a miscarriage and he didn't give her enough love and support through it and because of that they fell apart.
I was waiting for your reaction to this. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response to this song. I echo absolutely everything you said. All of the callback lyrics to older songs make it even more heartbreaking, and using her heartbeat as a beat (like she did in Wildest Dreams), but stopping when she says “I can’t find a pulse”…she’s such a genius. I think as heartbreaking as it is, “I wouldn’t marry me either” might be one of her most savage lines, including ATW10MV and WCS…it’s such an achingly honest and heartbreaking lyric, but also confessional in a very intentional way, which I’m really glad she chose to do.
This is an interesting song, too, because it uses so much of the same medical imagery of the song “epiphany,” and of course, the war imagery. But she also used her heartbeat in Wildest Dreams, which is also a song about inevitable relationship loss - burning it all down, when he leaves her, the memories will follow him around.
Ah! I was also there on Friday - it was so amazing! Her portion of the show (not including openers) was 3 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES!!! I’m excited to see your video about it! And the fact that we got to watch a music video premiere WITH Taylor (and her dancers)? 😭😭😭 I’m pretty sure we won the whole Eras Tour 😂
I was there too, I limped out of that stadium with feet so sore I didnt understand why my usual concert shoes failed me like that… didnt realize the show was THAT LONG??!
Before I even heard the song when I saw the title "You're Losing Me" I just feel and know that it would be some "tolerate it" kind of sh!t and I never hated being right about something. And it has her heartbeat in it!! This song really hurts!! 🥲💔
i relate to this song on a person with mental illness point of view, like, to be with someone who doesnt and never will understand your forever blues. first song on the álbum she says “you dont really read into my melancolia” then on the last its “how can you say that you love someone you cant tell its dying”. he cannot see her, he cannot understand her pain and feelings and needs. the amount of days i’ve felt this way.. i can picture the whole scene and feel the whole feeling. cant even listen to this song it hurts too deep. to me, the saddest song she’s ever put out. i knew you’d be torn apart with this one too hahahah
the “i know my pain is much an inposition” also kills me. it fisically hurts cause god yes my pain is unfortunately an imposition for everyone around me, even though i try so hard not to be. its kinda like “the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me” in another (sadder) words. anyway
I’m convinced midnights was a breakup album and some of the songs on evermore and folklore that were breakup songs were about Joe. Another thing is that this song is different from all her other breakup song. It’s not angry or revengeful. It’s just sad. It’s heartbreaking.
I have a hard time reading *too* much into things with folkmore, since a lot of those were fictional narratives. And she literally also has songs like “invisible string” (which got removed from the Eras Tour set list around the time the breakup was announced) and “long story short,” highlighting the positives in their relationship on those records, not to mention some of the saddest songs are ones they wrote together. Perhaps it was more of a subconscious thing that came together as she began to process things more with a song like this and her realization that they had reached an impasse in their relationship, but I don’t know that I’d say she wrote any breakup songs *directly* about their specific situation intentionally until recently.
@@fosminclorin I think that’s either a purely fictional narrative or inspired by a previous relationship. She also said in the Long Pond Sessions to her collaborator Aaron Dessner: “I think I said, “What if not all of these feelings are about the same person? What if I’m writing about several different, very fractured situations? Like one is about love, and one is about a business thing that really hurt, and one is about a sort of relationship that I considered family, but that really hurt.” […] I definitely had the moment of doubt. I had the moment of like, “I don’t usually do this, I usually know exactly what I’m writing about,” and I was really happy when you kind of pushed me forward, like, “Nope, do the thing that makes you uncomfortable.” I can see the different situations she could be referring to, and the state of her relationship with Joe at that time doesn’t fit for me. And her willingness to speak fairly fondly of him and their collaborations in that same doc also suggests that that none of the sad songs were really about him at that time.
@@fosminclorin but she also mentioned blue in “Red,” about Jake Gyllenhaal…”Losing him was blue…like I’d never known.” And that entire song is about colors she associates with aspects of that relationship. She actually references blue quite a bit on Red, not to mention some other references to it on other pre-Joe records…there’s a Tumblr page that compiled all the references to date.
This one wrecked me- one of those songs I'll never be able to listen to without crying lol. I was waiting for you to do this one. Watching people pick her apart over the whole matty healy and ice spice situation has made my heart hurt, I think people need to realize that she still very much is a human being, and maybe she's dealing with this the best she knows how- she's allowed to grieve the relationship in any way she needs to. I remember when she was talking about her relationship and wanting to keep it "manageable" and that's why she'll only share it in song I believe, and I don't expect her to put out public statements because of that, we're not owed it, and this is how she said she processes things. In a silver lining way, I think her seeing the crowds being warm and welcoming to her every show is helping her in ways we don't even know, but only taking from her own comments on stage. The other thing that bugs me about this situation, is People who keep putting euphoria clips and expecting her to break down, I wish those people would have more empathy towards the situation, it's like we've somehow separated Taylor being an entertainer from her being human and I don't like it at all.
I feel like some of her songs are very clearly for herself, to process. When I was listening to it for the first time I felt like she is singing it to herself. No matter what are the speculations, this is definitely very personal song for her.
This song also makes me think of trying to have a relationship with an addict, it’s sad and lonely when you have to walk away, tired of constantly trying to fix it. That line abt the morning, glaring with storms, being angry, sounds like a rough night prior, which is typical in an addicts world. The damage is too much, the addict doesn’t see it, can’t see it. They also choose the addiction over the relationship. They can’t see how their addiction has made the other person so grey. You have so much empathy hoping they will get better. You give all your best and fight, but you are alone in doing so. Then, the heartbeat just stops, the relationship ends. It is a very sad song
THANK YOU so much for doing this song. It’s a gut kick. She writes so matter of fact and it punches you in the heart. Side note, So happy you had the best time at the concert. I knew you would. I’m salty she played maroon live for you all 😅 Be well Mere ❤
I completely relate to this song on a different level. I have a toxic relationship with my mum and this song speaks to me regarding this. Specifically the bridge. It’s gutting. The feeling of not knowing if the relationship is ever going to be fixed, if you will ever be good enough to make them meet you halfway. Taylor is a genius 💔
9:14 She wrote "you're losing me" before "the great war" she thought the relationship was over so she wrote "youre losing me" but then she thought that the relationship is doing better then she wrote "the great war" and didn't realize song in the Midnight album
At the “how long could we be a sad song” line I kept saying when I s she going to pause this and comment. The look in your eyes is of such deep empathy and feeling.
I'm starting to think the song sweet nothing is more of a negative song, meaning all you ever wanted was nothing, no future, no marriage, no kids, no family, doesn't want her life. She is so clever! Great reaction ❤❤
similarities and opposite ideas i noticed in "You're Losing Me" to other Taylor's song about Joe: "you say 'i don't understand' and i say "i know you don't" = "i want to wear his initial in a chain around my neck not because he owns me, but because he really knows me" "remember this room? we loved it because of the light" = "like daylight...." "i can't find a pulse, my heart won't start again anymore for you" = whole king of my heart lyrics, really "every morning i glare at you with storms in my eyes" = "sometimes when i wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me?" "my face was grey(...)" = "but it's golden..." (daylight) "i am getting tired even for a phoenix (...) mending all her gashes" = "that's the kind of hearbreak time could never mend" "i gave you all my best peace" = "would it be enough if i could never give you peace?" "fighting it all with you army(...)" = the great war whole lyrics "i wouldnt marry me either" = champagne problems (they wrote it together), paper rings, lavender haze
The double meaning behind the 'do I throw out everything or do I keep it?' like, does she throw away all the physical things that remind her of him or hold onto it in case it works out/throwing away the relationship or staying/trying again... ugh this song is sadder to me than All Too Well because it's just SAD when 2 people get to a point where they can't pretend it's working anymore. I also respect her for not making this song about him in a nasty/mean light, it's just obvious they were at different stages at the end and he didnt see how she was hurting in the end perhaps.
The Phoenix part is something I agree many can relate to, myself as well. So many struggles in life and often no one stands with you, you have to do it yourself. The two other parts I feel strongly are when she says she sent signals...however the partner is not receiving them correctly (in my case they are turned into something else, where I have to take full responsibility for his life) and the other part is where he says she is the best thing in this party. I know this can mean so many things to people and it really resonates with me for SO MANY reasons. We try and try, but people like to put us down kind of thing. I LOVE this song so much.
i’m not really big on romance but even though i still relate to this, i had a fall out with a friendship recently and this song just puts that feeling perfectly. Taylor Swift is one of the best artist of our generation in my opinion.
the fact that shes so good at communicating VERBALLY and expressing her feelings and it is clearly shown through her interviews as well as her entire discography lets me know shes not the problem here. the song literally states that he refused to listen. part of communication is listening and underfuckingstanding what is being said. he didnt get the memo that all her pleading meant she was dying inside. the non verbal commuication is to paint a metaphor of what it was actually like which i can only imagine taking to a wall begging screaming crying and being met with nothing but cold indifference. after a while u just stop trying "i know my pain is such an imposition"
@@FIREGOD333 Thank you for your input. Yes, she is quite capable of communicating through words, there is no denying that. It is true, though, that sometimes people who are very good at communicating ideas are at loss of words when they want to communicate their inner turmoil, specially to people closest to them. I am not saying that is definitely the case here or anything, I am just simply analyzing the lyrics and the possibilities. At the end of the day, only the two people who were in the relationship know what truly happened. We just have songs
The ending really breaks my heart. She sings "I can't find a pulse. My heart won't start anymore." Without saying "for you". That's so sad 💔. Another line that really hits me is "I have nothing to believe in, unless you're choosing me". And some lines from Bejeweled came to my mind. Like "Putting someone first only works when you're in their Top 5" or "Don't put me in the basement when I want the penthouse of your heart". Was this all addressed to Joe?
"don't put me in the basement when i want the penthouse of your heart" always made me think of joe since she called him "handsome, you're a mansion with a view" in delicate.
i sat there listening to this song for the first time feeling so, so hurt for her. then i remembered her BRIDGES, it it took me out harder than i anticipated
You are phenomenal and I wasn’t able to attend but saw it on here thanks to an amazing guy who recorded it especially for us ❤👑. Moving on from a divorce right now myself from a guy, someone I gave everything to and wrapped my life around completely only to never show up in my worst moment mentally and emotionally, and then shifting blame onto me which I was partly to blame but I essentially felt gaslit to an extent. Anyway this song as Taylor always seems to know exactly when to make at the exact right moment in my life sums up every bottled up emotion and self-sabotage tactic I made by giving everything only to receive nothing of real value from the so-called “love of my life”. Anyway it is a complete masterpiece and thanks for doing this, glad you enjoyed one of the best concerts of our lifetimes!! 🎉❤️👑
Joe never wanted Taylor for her shine (fame, success, acclamation, money) and, at first, that felt like a blessing to her. It felt right for her soulmate to want nothing but her as a person. But Taylor herself wants her shine, she wants the acclaim and accepts everything that comes with it. Her face as she stood in front of a 70k crowd in The Eras Tuor movie... I don't think she would be able to give that up if she were willing to try. I think she believed they could compromise, she would be able to keep her shine, but marry him with paper rings. But Taylor has become her own achievements, there's no separating the person from the jewel. And because neither wanted to let the other go, their connection faded until it was severed. I don't doubt this may have been the most unproblematic, amicable break up she ever had and at the same time the most painful.
@@mendwithmere Sweet Nothings and Bejeweled are probably about him, too. I'm basing my interpretation on that, plus the fact that in 5 months Travis has been seen with/talked about Taylor 10x more than Joe was in 6 years.
I love her symbolismn so much. I remember having the same feelings in a earlier relationship. And this moment when you knew is the saddest you can imagine.
Thank you for analyzing her song. I can cry for hours over it. I feel her pain so deeply. I love her so much as nobody else would understand, seeing all her Multiverse, not only the singer. Taylor, if you read this, this is for you. Your forever lover! Get me into your life! Hurry up!
“Now you’re running down the hallway” she’s referenced that with Jake gtllenhall and it’s like she’s saying they all end like this sooner or later. And the hallway seems like a metaphor like it’s an entrance but it’s also an exit
It’s interesting you associated the line, stop you’re loosing me, is her asking him to stop talking cause there’s a theory in twitter that the word “pathological people pleaser” was something Joe said to Taylor.
Yes! When i first heard “stop, you’re losing me” it’s like she’s begging him to stop twisting the knife, he keeps making the hurt deeper and isn’t doing anything to resolve it.
Now TTPD & The Anthology albums have been in April 2024 - we understand why this was launched a seperate song from - Not part of Midnights or TTPD era. The relationship with Joe was sick but not over. This song was the link. Then it ended. The relationship with Matty was unfolding but there was a LONG history we didn’t know. TTPD Era is the beginning of a new chapter for Taylor - to live life on her own terms.
this is such a heartbreaking song, one of the saddest of all her breakup songs. especially thinking of how a breakup this big hurt not only her but karlie as well, i don't really know how to explain it well but it's just so heart-breaking.
At 6:26 when you mentioned the couple in Exile, whom at one point were on the same page and understood each other... I'll add that they later became Coney Island. Where they're together but not together. They wonder where their lover is at when really their lover is right there in front of them. Seems they just grew apart. And when she mentions the storms in her eyes, it makes me think of the Lavender Haze video where she's the only one awake in her sadness with the cloud over her head and she says "You never really read into my melancholia." Like she's literally saying she's sad and he's not noticing it hence the line in this song "...my face was gray but you wouldn't admit that we were sick." To which it then reminded me of Tolerate It. She talks about staying up late at night AGAIN just looking over at him and wondering about their relationship. Saying she notices things aren't right between them and questioning if she's the only one who sees him just not giving much into the relationship. She then says she's willing to pull the knife out of her chest (end the relationship) unless he tells her otherwise. Queue in... "Do something babe, say something. Lose something babe, risk something. Choose something babe. I've got nothing to believe unless you're choosing me." The saddest part is that she told him what she wanted in Lover. "Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever? Cuz you're my lover." That was her committing to him. That song is practically a proposal. And to have Taylor describe their end perfectly in one entire song, in pure annihilation and obliteration, play HOAX. Read it word for word 😵. I'm at a loss for words right now.
You nailed it! This song makes me feel like Joe was waiting for Taylor to change in some way, to be less…something, idk what. But it sounds like she wanted to be chosen and he never could get to the point of marriage with her and that’s devistating. I always imagined SHE was the one that didn’t want to be married but now I’m realizing “give you my wild, give you a child”(peace)….she might have been the one who wanted more and he just couldn’t say yes which means he was saying no….and withholding that love was killing her “there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love,the slowest way is never loving them enough” (high infidelity)
@@Kristina-rt1ty I was gonna add Peace in there but Hoax smacked me in the face 😂. I didn't like the way she was describing him in that song either. The line where she says, "Your integrity makes me seem small. You paint dreamscapes on the wall. I talk shit with my friends. It's like I'm wasting your honor". Essentially, she's saying she feels less than when she's with him like as if he's better than her as a person. That to me was a red flag. No one should feel that way in any relationship. Especially if your significant other makes you feel that way. That's horrible and sad. But reading that back it's almost like she already knew the relationship wasn't gonna last. She just kept pushing through it thinking maybe she's making too much ado about nothing. If you catch my drift. Gosh, let's think back and remember Cornelia Street, False God and Death By A Thousand Cuts off of Lover. Like what? Cornelia Street is basically her looking back to their beginnings. Meaning, the relationship is either over or coming to an end and just fizzling out. They had their problems early on cuz she mentioned packing her bags and leaving but he calls her and convinces her to give it another shot. Which she does cuz that's the kind of person she is. Always giving her all. In False God she talks about their back and forth fights, trying to convince themselves it'll work itself out. And Death By A Thousand Cuts is the aftermath of Cornelia Street. Where she left him before getting back together with him. It almost mirrors Hits Different doesn't it? Both songs she's drunk and just a mess. Walking the streets and going to bars. "Gave up on me like I was a bad drug." Let's also add: "You said it was a great love, one for the ages. But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?" Look where we are now after Lover, Folklore, Evermore and now Midnights. So many "pages" of their love. Shit does hit different doesn't it? Now that we can step back and look at all of this from a different perspective. The way Taylor tells a story through different songs tied to each other, that people wouldn't even think are connected, is crazy. But hey, that's our speculation. I just want her to be happy and being really creative with her music. I'm still hoping for that rock album 🤞 lol. I wanna hear that Vigilante Queen SLAY.
@@yvetterodriguez2550 yes! Listening to all those songs from this new perspective is changing everything! always thought it was interesting that she wrote hoax about him cuz it’s so deeply sad and now I’m starting to understand why…he wasn’t her person and now she’s shimmering! She said recently her life now makes sense and she’s happiest she’s ever been! He was holding her back/wanting her to be different. Now she’s her whole authentic self and i bet she feels so free. I also want the rock album but mostly the VAULT REPUTATION TRACKS!! i want her to lean into it and say all the things she held back years ago. I want the piping hot tea ☕️ lol
SUCCHHHH a great review, and as a therapist, I feel like a lot of TS's songs can be therapeutic, bringing that cathartic process to one's self, in this case it's just processing the letting go. LOVE IT. GREAT video, new fan
April last year, when THE news came out- I was one of the swifties who took quite a time to have a denial stage on their breakup. I was acting like that in my part mainly because I just don't want Taylor to go through things again like what she went through before when breakups come in easily for her years/decade ago before Joe even happened to her- like I was scared of the media speculating about everything like her love life is a sport, they'll probably start to mock her for not keeping a man for good or she's gonna write another breakup album again, calling her a man hater or slvt/wh0re and stuff, it's just traumatic- some of you wouldn't get it cuz you weren't there (2011-2018 ESPECIALLY 2013-2016 like those years are nuts). BUT queen mother humbled me, Taylor made sure to let us know what really happened and she trusted us- my god the complete 180 of my beliefs after hearing 'You're Losing Me' in late May is funny but worth it at the same time. Then after hearing this song, I looked back on the past 4 albums we had from her with Joe beside her in that timeframe and wow, everything made sense like it showed me how gaslit I was and maybe her as well in that relationship that we witnessed all this time. I liked Joe cuz when almost everything went south in her career, she was at her lowest- he was there BUT that happenstance may also be the catalyst of how this relationship went down (in flames jk) aka the victim/savior complex... okay idk what I'm saying here but somehow Taylor has this imagery of Joe as her 'knight in shining armor'- "he saved her from the darkness, great! happily ever after" but that wasn't the case here, with this mindset of Taylor plus Joe's demanding attitude or aura (cuz idk what really happened but it felt like the demand is in Joe's favor in this) Taylor will tend to bend under his will (listen to willow, Joe really got her chase him and will do anything to get him) and adjust everything, her lifestyle and whatnot, in her power just to be with this man cuz this man doesn't want the life she's always been in, the scale of how magnified Taylor's life is as a celebrity/artist. In hindsight, we didn't know any of this and thought oooohhh Taylor is so in love and this is the endgame wow... but looking back now? it's just sad and aching to see Taylor looking like she's begging for him to stay, she did everything to make it work even staying with him where no one else can see them like they're hiding from everyone (ngl in the first 1-2 years of their relationship, Taylor needed that because of how her reputation shattered by the media and everyone in 2016-17 but eventually, she healed and go back to what her intended lifestyle and how she makes the whole place shimmer), she even avoided the idea of marriage (lavender haze) when 3 years in their relationship she's already dropping hints in his face my god (lover, paper rings, end game, i think he knows, willow, PEACE ugh i could go on) yet hE STILL WON'T COMMIT! idk what's his problem tbh, maybe he loved her when she was in her worst but honey, this is Taylor Swift- she will always rise from the ashes like a fckng phoenix and he broke that in her, she said she's tired even tho she's a phoenix- tired of sticking her neck out in this relationship with him doing nothing at all. The love they had was real at some point until Joe realized she's much bigger than this and she can be bigger than the last time he checked, he chickened out- he felt hesitant at some point in that 6-year relationship cuz he didn't want her way of living and it's inevitable that she will go back in the spotlight... she outgrew him. I think Taylor realized she's better than this and she finally knew her self-worth to get away from this "stuck in the middle of nowhere, suffocating, and dying in the vine" relationship and you know what? good for her because I believe that in the name of LOVE, no one should be contained (feelings or validity of existence) it's love- not a possession... love is about GROWING, makes each other be seen and help each other to grow in their lives and NOT stuck in a box waiting to rot. I wanted to be kind to Joe but my god it almost felt like he wasted her time (6 years, 6 YEARS? and she thought they were gonna be end game), he led her on and left her hanging apparently. I'm just happy Taylor is in a very different place now, she's happy and that's all that matters to me. Thanks for coming in my TedTalk lol
i saw somewhere on social media that someone said “the lovers house on the eras tour looks different from the lover video because they’ve moved out” and now after hearing “remember looking at this room, we loved it cause of the light” it guts me.
Just like you, I saw hints in her words. I thought about Exile too when said "I sent you signals" (which Taylor and Joe both wrote). And also The Great War when she talks about being a soldier.
You say, "I don't understand" and I say, "I know you don't" We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? I'm getting tired even for a phoenix Always risin' from the ashes Mendin' all her gashes You might just have dealt the final blow Stop, you're losing me Stop, you're losing me Stop, you're losing me I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore for you 'Cause you're losing me Every mornin' I glared at you with storms in my eyes How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick And the air is thick with loss and indecision I know my pain is such an imposition Now, you're running down the hallway And you know what they all say "You don't know what you got until it's gone" Stop, you're losing me Stop, you're losing me Stop, you're losing me I can't find a pulse My heart won't start anymore for you 'Cause you're losing me 'Cause you're losing me Stop (Stop) 'cause you're losing me My heart won't start anymore (Stop 'cause you're losing me) My heart won't start anymore (Stop 'cause you're losing me) How long could we be a sad song 'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life? I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me I'm the best thing at this party (You're losing me) And I wouldn't marry me either A pathological people pleaser Who only wanted you to see her And I'm fading, thinkin' "Do something, babe, say something" (Say something) "Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losing me) "Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing) "To believe, unless you're choosing me" You're losing me Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore
Right when this song released, I knew it was my favorite. Because it's something I'm going through right now and I appreciate your interpretations, brought to light some things happening in my own life that I wasn't even recognizing. Love the channel and reaction.
Taylor mentioned her and Joe were very different. He is more introverted, and she is more outgoing. I hope her and Travis Kelce make it work. They have personalities that are similar.
I think, sweet nothings is a little more bittersweet in retrospect. Not in the "oh, it's so sad that they broke up... They were so happy!" kind of way. More like "Taylor wasn't happy with the kind of domesticity that Joe wanted with her" kind of way. All he wanted was a quiet life with her... She wants to shine. And while she may be too soft for all of it... It's what she wants in life.
This song meant a lot to me, because I went through this at the beginning of the year. We had a conversation about whether or not to break up, because I wanted to get married and he didn't want to. But he understood the importance of things and everything worked out fine. So I understand the song sentence by sentence... so sad. "Do something, say something", yeah, that's it.
This song in my opinion is the saddest of all her “breakup” songs because there’s nothing angry or feisty about it…it’s just sad.
Yes, it's just heartbreaking and I would hate it if I were her. That a relationship with someone you loved so much fades this way.
Soon you'll get better is her saddest song. Bigger then the whole sky too.
@@thevilkids She said breakup song
@@thevilkids cant u read?
I think that last kiss is her saddest break up song but youre not sorry is a really good break up song too
"And I know my pain is just an imposition."
God, that feeling hurts so much.
That line hurt me as well
right sorry my feelings are such a burden 😔
My favorite subtle detail in this song is the repetition of “stop, you’re losing me” three times in the chorus. That’s the amount of times you’re trained to try and regain pulse with a defibrillator
I noticed that too more it goes the more she can't find the pulse and he's losing her
Dude.....she is really a mastermind huh???? So many details in everything it always blows my mind
and also in labyrinth, she says she is falling in love three times.
Defibrillators aren’t for regaining a pulse though.
@@irisangelina but they're for regain a heart beat
usually when we're with someone we love and treasure, our brain creats endorphin, the "joy" hormone, to relieve stress and raise our levels of euphoria and well-being, so those feelings accelerate the heartbeat
and taylor using a weak heartbeat during the chourus 3 times means that she's struggling to bring back that happiness she used to have in her relationship
“and I wouldn’t marry me either” takes me right back to champagne problems and WRECKS me almost as much as it did at The Eras Tour :(
and the fact that they wrote it together... i'm unwell.
Close to it in my opinion. Sad beautiful tragic is still her saddest song 🎵
@@stephane1623 sad beautiful tragic is so underrated! that bridge kills me every time :(
@@livelifeonline4634 yes it is! That song made me cry the first time.
@@livelifeonline4634 she "manifested" her break up with that song
I get the feeling that she wrote this either right before or during the breakup, and didn't want to release it immediately because the fans would definitely speculate. It got put on the backburner til the news broke and she felt okay enough to put it out. If she wrote this with the rest of Midnights then.... damn.... it was a long road to release it. My heart breaks for her.
Same - I feel it was around the Grammy's party! That was the last time they were together some place - also the line I am the best thing at this party kind of makes me think that!
I agree! The album was locked in by May 2022 because of how long it takes to manufacture vinyls, and a lot has happened since then.
In the Bejeweled video the pocket watch said something like, 'Exile ends' at 11:59 or midnight?
I'm wondering if she was saying her being so shut off like she was with Joe, is over?
I dunno.
She's a good person and deserves the best!
A bunch if not all the songs in midnights point to the relationship with Joe not working so the signs have been there from the start
@@meganlynn83 we don't know if she's a good person or not
She went from "id marry you with paper rings" to "i wouldnt marry me either"
Bruh 😭 that’s so sad
😢
Poor Taylor. She is a big romantic and I totally believe she'll find the one for real.
I just re-read this comment and came to the realization that SHE would've married HIM no matter what, because that was how much she loved him... But HE wouldn't marry HER at all...
@@salembn1176 Yep and the fact that Taylor wrote this in December of 21 hurts even more
Her imagery just always pulls me into what she’s trying to say. And the production with her heartbeat just absolutely killed me inside.
Where was this kind of song 29 years ago when I was going through my divorce? I needed it so badly! I was diagnosed by a "marriage (more like a divorce) councilor" as a people pleaser, the "pathological people pleaser" lyric cut me to the bone! This kind of pain is SOOOO real!
There wasn't this kind of song because a songwriter like Taylor is extremely rare and she was only 4 years old back then! I'm sorry to heard that and I hope this is helping you to heal better now :)
That's the magic of her writing. Taylor's lyrics are so relatable and will stand the test of time. She's a master at her craft.
I feel that we are people pleasers because we were never validated or loved unconditionally. So we seek that through others. I worry that Taylor is a people pleaser because perhaps she doesn’t feel good enough just how she is to the public. I don’t know, but it worries me because it’s toxic.
She is so relatable and doesn't make her life look better than it is
I personally think this is one of Taylor's best songs she's ever written. There are so many lyrics that call back to previous songs: Invisible String, Betty, Peace, Lover, Paper Rings, Afterglow, The Great War, Maroon, Labyrinth, Tolerate it, Champagne Problems. Not only that but the symbolism of the heart beat and performing CPR. It's so powerful that there's at least one line that everyone can relate to, even if it's not a romantic relationship. I've seen people on TikTok say that they had a friend breakup or went no contact with their parents and this song gutted them. It truly is a masterpiece.
I 100% agree! This song makes me feel like Joe was waiting for Taylor to change in some way, to be less…something, idk what. But it sounds like she wanted to be chosen and he never could get to the point of marriage with her and that’s devistating. I always imagined SHE was the one that didn’t want to be married “no deal the 1950s deal they want from me” (lavender haze)but now I’m realizing “give you my wild, give you a child”(peace)….she might have been the one who wanted more and he just couldn’t say yes which means he was saying no….and withholding that love was killing her “there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love
The slowest way is never loving them enough” (high infidelity)
Remember "Peace" about being with her there will never be Peace because of the paparazzi, tabloids, not being able to leave your house with security and everything else, this song to me is he isn't sure about the relationship because of all that. He is very private and "normal." I believe they were talking about marriage and that was the only reason they didn't get married. It is heartbreaking. She is always being talked about somewhere and especially since life has returned to normal and she put out new music. Her fame got bigger after Folklore and Evermore but it was during Covid. I am happy to see she seems to be able to compartmentalize the things so she can kicka** on the tour. I sure couldn't. 😢
Also the call back with the heart beat to Wildest Dreams. There could be something there.
I wholeheartedly agree with the relatableness of the song. I won’t go into detail, but with all the stuff going on currently, I apply this song to one of my closest friendships because of how I feel. besides the “and I wouldn’t marry me either” line, it can totally be interpreted and dedicated to a friendship, especially if you’re so used to telling each other how much you platonically love each other. idk, the song is just so heartbreaking, regardless of who it’s for 😭
also cornelia street
The way this woman can write a whole book within a song is probably one of the most magical things about her. The fact that songs about her life can fit so well into ours shows how masterful she is at her craft. This girl was just born with so much talent & luckily had a family see that talent and support her in this journey! I’m so thankful for Taylor Swift! She deserves everything she has (one of the few rich celebrities who actually do)
The part where she says “I’m getting tired even for a Phoenix” KILLS ME. Cause unfortunately she has been disappointed time after time in trying to find and have that one true love that will last for a life time. As a fan of hers, she is always the one cheering me up when I listen to her music and getting me out of my darkest points in life. So to hear her say she’s at a point where it is getting hard for her to rise again from the ashes when she’s been such a motivator for me to do so COUNTLESS of times IS SO heartbreaking
i feel worse sometimes because i’m so obsessed with her. i live through her.
My takeaways from this song:
1-it lasted way longer than it should have, she knew there was no hope but she stayed, she was gaslighting herself basically
2- she's tired of dating
3-at the begining she liked that joe was distant because she thought it meant he was mysterious and elusive, but as time went by she started to see that distance for what it really is, indifference
oof-.......... #3 killed me u nailed it that really makes sense
Add tolerate it to that mix - especially with the tour set and how she changes throughout the tour
One thing I haven’t heard as many people mention is the line “how long could we be a sad song til we were too far gone…” bc during a folklore interview, she mentioned that she and Joe bonded a lot over specifically sad song. And the fact that the relationship where they WROTE sad songs TOGETHER then became the next sad song she wrote just breaks me
I realized this nearly straight away. 😢. Poor Tay❤
I also initially thought Sweet Nothing was about Joe, but something felt off about that, and You're Losing Me and the breakup made it click: all the songs about Joe have had an element of melancholy and/or sacrifice. From the very beginning, there was a theme of needing to run/hide from the world for the relationship to work. Even Paper Rings, which is so tonally upbeat, is Taylor offering to give the (shiny) things she wants up for him. Whoever Sweet Nothing is about wants nothing from Taylor except that she be herself. Not only did Joe want something from Taylor, he wanted something she couldn't possibly give him: a quiet, normal life. She literally asks in Peace, "would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" and You're Losing Me sounds like her coming to the realization that the answer is no.
(Sweet Nothing fits Andrea far better)
Very good at connecting the dots! And yes, I agree. Sweet Nothing should most definitely be about Andrea.
I would believe that except Joe is co-writer for Sweet Nothing
@@bettinaleah366 maybe that’s her trying to make herself believe that he doesn’t want anything from her and her relationship is perfect.
@@Booksandtaylor13 or maybe that's just a song they co-wrote when they were still okay
@@bettinaleah366 yeah, but that sort of confirmed it even more for me. He could’ve been helping her write a song about someone they thought would be his mother-in-law.
I really hope she puts this song on streaming soon, everyone I know who has heard it has been going crazy over the lyrics.
It is.
@@IsabellaS-d2wnot in every country (germany not f.ex)
It's already here!!!!
It's interesting to me that she said "you wouldn't admit that we were sick" instead of "you wouldn't admit that we were dead". If the relationship was dead, there would be no hope at all for it and it'd be much easier to let go of it. We have to bury what's dead and move on from it, no matter how much it hurts. You'd never rethink what's dead because there's nothing left to rethink, just reminisce.
However, what's sick can be healed. This relationship could've been healed and reinstated back to its usual happiness. For whatever reason, they were not doing so well, but it didn't seem as severe or it really wasn't as severe, but they never sought the medicine for it. They never bothered to try and be healthier. This hurts all the more, because there was hope, just a hopeless opposing party.
And the "you wouldn't admit". This realization didn't go both ways. One of them had snapped out of denial and the other was either too clouded by denial to see what was really going on, or didn't admit it in worry of what would go wrong if they did. They'd rather hang onto the guilt and the false sense of security the silent guilt gave them then actually do something about the problem. This gives a lot of space to rethink constantly, which is really painful.
Taylor's word choice is unmatched.
That's why they should've gone to couple therapy and individual therapy to fix their issues (she will never find happiness if she doesn't solve her issues)
@Fosmin Clorin Who said they didnt?
@Fosmin Clorin you push therapy way too much imo. I've been there and done that many times for different scenarios, and it it has NEVER helped. It is always worth a try, but it is not a fix all and doesn't always work and can be very expensive. 🤷🏻♀️
BLEED is a definitely unnecessary word and the metaphor that includes it is too childishly framatismop
I remember her saying in one interview that her and Joe loved sad songs so much… And listening her singing “How long could we be a sad song…” cuts so deep 🙈 Then she was the happiest but still loving writing sad songs and here I could feel the real pain and loss… 😢 I hope she finds her one 💔
that comment about her and Joe loving sad songs is the first thing i thought of when i heard that like. it’s so sad.💔
This just broke my heart, I was with a guy on and off for 4 years who I desperately wanted to marry but he just couldn't make that commitment to me. The line "I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser" broke my heart because all Taylor has ever wanted was to be loved. At 17 she talked about finding the one, in Lover she talked about wanting to be with him forever in multiple songs, in folklore she made it clear in invisible string that she thought he was her soulmate.
I suspect a “pathological people pleaser” is something he’s called her in an argument.
@@sarakim5414 yeah I saw that somewhere in a TH-cam video and it broke me.
It's clear from Paper Rings that she wanted to marry him :(
Just because someone wanted to get married doesn't mean she was equipped to handle a marriage. She's just as responsible to be a mature partner for Joe just as he is to her.
And she's shown multiple times in her songs how she's so in love with love and romance but is still having a hard time being realist about it. If anything more adults should feel bad for Joe and how much he had to endure her childishness with her signals and overthinking for six years without ever washing his dirty laundry in public while she was free to do so.
@@Lime1958 huh? If he didn't wanted to endure her "childishness" then he could've just break up with her. Let's not put all the blame on Taylor. And let's not put Joe on a pedestal either, we literally don't know how he was in the relationship. Why can't we see everyone as equals?
The chorus for some reason gives me the imagery of like doing chest compression frantically and someone else just tells you to stop because it's not working and only hurting the patient more. Maybe I watch too much Grey's Anatomy but I get that energy
I thought about it similarly. But more like he’s watching her die and not doing anything about it. He’s losing her and she’s frustrated saying like YOUR LOSING ME? WHY DONT YOU DO SOMETHING.
@@Catalinamercado0 but the line where she says not you're running down the hallway you know what they all say don't know what you got until it's gone gives the impression that he did realise something was wrong but it was too late. She goes back and forth between begging him to save her and telling him her heart won't start for him anymore like she's moved on but can't believe it herself yet.
This song is making me look at Hits Different in a totally new light
yuuupp
I always wondered if she has a therapist or some profesional helping her get through all this hard situations and feelings because when she is on stage or when people see her she looks so happy. Like I couldn’t bounce back so quickly especially after such a long relationship. I respect her so much.
She doesn’t, she’s said she’s never seen a therapist because explaining all her years of fame and experiences would be impossible, so she talks to her mom. Which is terribly sad, because it’s likely all her limiting beliefs that cause her to repeat the same patterns came from her upbringing (we all have these, this is not at all a shot at her or her family) and she’s still only getting that same logic and comfort. Makes it almost impossible to grow and break cycles. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year and when I’m having an especially overwhelming day I’ll call my mom to vent and all her responses and comfort is just.. so difficult to even listen to bc all my faults and difficulties are mirrored back to me in a way I never saw before therapy. She’s gotta get a therapist, moms are great, lovely and wise women but they likely are the source of our deepest issues and we’re not going to get past those and grow away from them without clarity and guidance from an outside party.
@@mbb131 thank you for this. Yes I know she is super close with her mom and she considers music and art as her way of therapy… I just can’t imagine having that level of success and all the hardships that comes with it and everything being so public and not have any kind of professional help. It can be beneficial sometimes to have that different view.
@@mbb131 but she has to make the therapist sign an NDA, or else they would leak their conversations
@@fosminclorin no they wouldn't 🤣. A qualified therapist is bound by confidentiality laws and will only release information when necessary.
@@IsabellaS-d2w but Taylor is really paranoid about stuff. And if I were her, I probably would be too. Imagine… you her therapist, have her of notes, private conversations, etc. You now want to retire. You know you aren’t planning to work again so maintaining your license isn’t as attractive as doing a tell-all book, making literally millions and retiring to the south of France. So no, an NDA is a must.
it makes me think of the lyrics I’m yours to keep and I’m yours to lose. He just didn’t want to fight for her and I think that’s where you insert Matty Healy. I don’t think Taylor with this tour coming up has time to process this break up and so she’s replacing it with something fun so that she doesn’t have to feel her feelings, but when this tour is over, I have a feeling these feelings are going to come back up 🔝
But don't put all thr blame on him, she also has flaws and she needs to work on herself
How do you know he didn't? It's not responsible or mature to make that kind of assumptions based on her break up song.
meh. Public perception has always been her personality. She hasn't actually demonstrated that she's capable of doing anything different even since Miss Americana
I think it's different for women. We have usually mourned the relationship before it is over. Women know months before they leave their partner. She's tried and she was waiting for him to fight for her.
Men on the other hand are different. They seem OK straight after a break up and bounce back. But a few months later they are the ones that regret and get sad.
@@lisabernie2086 please don't generalize. She literally bounced back after the break up with Matty and broke up after a few months.
Taylors begging of "stop" over and over is so heartbreaking. It hurts to hear it, knowing how that pain feels when you love someone so much but they don't see that they're destroying you until it's too late 😔💔
I'm at the end of a relationship with a narcissist and I really felt the song "Tolerate It" more than others in my situation as I'm sure you can imagine. I feel like I went through the five stages of grief and the last stage, "acceptance" makes parts of this song feel personal to me because they aren't capable of changing and there is no way I could go back. Also, I have to throw everything away except for the knowledge I gained from that heartbreak. Great reaction as always, Mere.
I'm sorry... :( I wish you the best 💞
Mere you always say I’m going to try not to stop so much or pause, but you should! Ignore people who get upset at you for pausing. If they want to listen to the whole thing, uninterrupted, they can. We’re here because we want to hear YOUR thoughts. Pause and dissect and reflect! That’s why we keep coming back :)
Yes, I feel the same way! If anyone needs to hear the song first, uninterrupted, they totally can! We are here because of Mere and her reactions and pauses. No need to feel like you should pause less, Mere!!
I agree! I agree! ❤
Yes, yes, yes!!! Agree so much!!
Totally agreed :)
Amen
The bridge is sure haunting, but the lines from pre-choruses hit me too.
"Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?"
"I know my pain is such an imposition."
As a people-pleaser myself, I don't want to give up on people. I'm someone who'd try my best to fix a relationship whether it's romantic or platonic, so it's really hard for me to decide if I should throw out everything we built or keep it.
The line, "I know my pain is such an imposition," made it more painful for me. The feeling that your pain is such a bother to them, and the realization that they're no longer emotionally available for you.
Thank you so much Mere for this reaction! Hope you recover soon! And the way we’ve come from the lines in Cornelia Street "I hope I never lose you" to "You're Losing Me".
There are many references to her other songs. That line about the bravest soldier reminds me of The Great War. And they eventually didn’t survive it…
So sad that their relationship ended… 😢
She references the same thing she referenced in Cornelia Street:
Windows swung right open, autumn air
Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours
We bless the rains on Cornelia Street
Memorize the creaks in the floor
Then in You're Losing Me:
"Remember looking at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light" 😢
Usually the reason a person got into a relationship so fast after breaking up is a coping mechanism to try to forget the pain of that last relationship. I wish Taylor all the best. Relationship is hard work if there's no patience, tolerance, communication and acceptance.
The best thing about taylor's songs are that the more you listen to them, the more you uncover and the more deep and visceral her lyrics seem to be. At first glance of this song I was like "Damn, sad song - beautiful but sad", but after listening to it for a few days, I suddenly see exactly how scarring and traumatic the lyrics in the song are.
It's also made me look at hits different in a completely light, because the song is far more upbeat, but still talks about breaking up and reflects similar sad themes.
This song cuts so deep. I love that you referenced "Exile", since that's another song where she was giving all these signs to someone who was completely oblivious to her feelings, until she reached a point where she couldn't continue being the only one trying to make things work - all those "second, third and hundredth chances / Balancing on breaking branches".
For some reason, the parallel between the two songs also reminds me of an Aimee Mann lyric: "I could not convince or trust you / To pick up on my hints / Must you leave your fingerprints on everything I called mine?"
I'm so glad you had such a phenomenal time seeing Taylor on Friday night! Speaking as an avid concertgoer who suffers now from mild tinnitus, please find a good pair of earplugs to wear when attending shows. I didn't realize just how important this was until the damage was already done and really don't want anyone else to experience it.
Yes to the earplugs thing!! We were absolutely traumatized in middle school (experts came and told us what can happen to your ears) and man, I've never gone anywhere loud without earplugs since!
In the Bejeweled video the pocket watch said something like, 'Exile ends' at 11:59 or midnight?
I'm wondering if she was saying her being so shut off like she was with Joe, is over?
I dunno.
She's a good person and deserves the best!
@@meganlynn83 Oooh, good catch! I'm going to go and rewatch the "Bejeweled" video now.
And yes, after all the joy and comfort her music has brought to so many of us, Taylor absolutely deserves some lasting happiness of her own.
It is sad that just when she thought he was the one, he coukdnt commit and she finally realized she had to let go. So I hope we just let her be no matter what!
This song is absolutely devastating and I can’t stop listening to it. I’ve been thinking and analyzing over and over because I truly am in awe over the pain in this song.
She knew, going into this relationship, knowing that she would probably do most of the work and sacrifice so much. “Delicate” even says how uncertain the start was because of his dislike of her public persona and the headlines that followed her, even if he tried to move past that in the beginning. “Cornelia Street” talks about how they had a falling out early on because she possibly didn’t believe he was all in like she was so early on, but he fought at that point and she stayed. “Lover”, “Paper Rings”, London Boy”, etc. all talk about how much she wanted him, loved him, and would take him over anything shiny or glamorous in life. She fought for him and lessened her public figure to fight for him. But, it sounds like she ultimately decided she cared so much about the life she’d built and was recognizing her worth in all of this during lockdowns and the re-records and she needed him to fight and choose her over all the bullshit. And it sounds like he didn’t. And that is absolutely devastating. And yet… there’s nothing malicious or hateful in this song. There’s still nothing but love, hurt and longing that maybe she’s wrong about things coming to an end. Practically pleading one last time for him to turn around and not run away, but fight for her and for them instead. 😭😭
I NEVER comment on anything. But this song destroyed me. Not just relationship wise but everyone in my life whose destroyed me and I've given everything for, this song is everything. My absolute favorite song. Screaming at someone who can't understand that's what your done, gahhh. This is so healing for me
This reminds me so much of a 5 year relationship I was in a couple of years ago, and what I'm about to say is why I think no one should be too hard on Joe. When I met him I was so sad and lost, a lot of the things in my life fell apart in such a short period of time, and the worst part was it was all out of my control (deaths, sicknesses and addictions in my family and friends who turned out not to be friends since most of them weren't there for me, and it was the first time in years that I was the one who needed help). He didn't care about any of that, he cared only about me. And he was there, for years, the best thing that ever happened to me, almost unreal. As time went on though, something changed and I felt like he wasn't all in like I was, like he didn't care for us as he should have, that he started taking me and us for granted, etc. Years later after I left him because I felt exactly like Taylor in this song, no longer willing to fight since he wasn't, we met each other and talked for hours. It turns out, his side of the story was that for me nothing was ever enough and something was always missing, that I was so caught up in my pain, melancholia, and haunted by past that I kept projecting it onto the future and him, and although he tried and tried, it got really hard for him too, to deal with all of my inner demons day in and day out. And although he didn't necessarily want to do it, he started shutting off. The objective truth? I'd say somewhere in the middle. I am now happy with someone else, as is he, and we're in such great places in our lives, so no hard feeling from either side. But I just think it's important to have that in mind - Joe was there for years and years, when so many left her, and she always talks about how she has a lot of inner problems with herself, so it couldn't have been easy for him either. While this song is so sad, and I'm sure Taylor was suffering, I also learned that you can't glare at someone and send signals expecting them to read your mind, you need to ask for what you need. And you also can't be surprised when someone does get tired from all your pain (I know my pain is such an imposition) and sets boundaries no longer wanting to carry it with you. It does hurt, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt them as well. At the end of the day, this was a loving relationship that gave so much to both of them at the time when they needed it, but it has run its course and there's nothing to be done about that. Please just remember to be kind, this isn't a story about a cheating narcissistic asshole, it's about a kind human who loved her a lot and probably just got hurt the same way she did.
This is so beautifully explained, I absolutely agree! I'm glad you're happy now 😊
this is very good take on the situation without making any of them villains (especially since we don't know anything)
@@noavm4090 and it's annoying that her fandom is so biased to put Taylor on a pedestal and blame her exes for everything
Ever since the breakup became public I wondered if maybe the balance in their relationship had change since the pandemy. Now she is no longer in need of hiding from the public who was so against her when the relationship started and is instead embrassing her success (as she should) and maybe she doesn't need him as much or not in the same way and he was seeing another side of her that he has not seen before and maybe didn't like. After all we dont know anything about his point of view of the relationship since he is not writting songs or talking publicly about it. I could be completely wrong and maybe he is the one who changed or like you said couldn't handle her issues anymore. We'll never know and honestly even if I am curious, I dont think people should care that much, it's their life they don't owe us anything but we do owe them respect no matter what
Everyone needs therapy and need to work on themselves before commiting to a serious relationship - marriage - raising kids (or just for their own happiness)
She is a STRONG woman to share this song so soon after a very significant breakup. The words she chooses are always emotion-invoking, but this is a new level. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Have you posted your reaction to Exile? I looked for it. There is a lot there to unpack. Not sure I liked that song at first but now I just love it.
The resignation in the sigh at the beginning. The quavering breaths in between are all real. She always leaves those things in her recordings. Like the laugh in tiwwchnt as she’s talking about forgoing the person I’m not even going to name. It’s one of the things she does to keep her records raw and real. And if you listen closely when she sings “MY HEART WON’T START ANYMORE” the heartbeat in the background stops. And that was her heartbeat. She covers every little detail
This song hits home for me so much.. to me it’s the song to my husband during my time suffering from postpartum depression.. I took myself to therapy and get medication and eventually dug myself out… but he couldn’t see I was dying. Such a deep and beautiful song. Will forever remind me of that time.
The way her lyrics reach anyone and everyone in the deepest recesses of their memories and hearts, it's amazing. She has such qn amazing gift with lyrics.❤️
She's so brillant at expressing her feelings in such a relatable way.
I genuinely am in love with the tragic sadness of this song. A lyrical masterpiece, she really is a musical genius and the best of our time. Coming from an extreme all too well stan this hits new levels of sadness 😭
Another heartbreaking thing is that Taylor a couple days ago sold her house on Cornelia street.
*im fine let me just go and cry*
Id never walk cornelia street again
The luxury of being able to just sell away the entire home you have hard sad times associated with.
Nothing worse than being alone in a relationship and I mean nothing! She said it all in this very sad song, many of us have been there. I wish for Taylor someday to find the love she so believes in and deserves.
The heartbeat running through the song is actually Taylor’s. She recorded her actual heart trying so hard to keep beating for Joe but his frequent apathy and occasional hostility killed her love for him.
Watching interviews of Joe and Travis, where they each talk about Taylor, is extremely eye opening. Travis is enthusiastic and giddy when he talks about her, and even in the very beginning of their relationship Joe never seemed all that happy.
Taylor wants that forever love, and of course we don’t know the future, but I can see this relationship going the distance. I want her to have that happy ever after. And babies - Taylor would make an amazing mother if she wants to have kids.
“My face was grey, but you wouldn’t admit that we were sick”…
“I’m just getting *color back into my face*, I’m just mad as hell cause I loved this place, for
So Long London”
you must be such a great therapist, so much empathy for every word
This song absolutely destroys me. She has this mind-blowing ability of putting situations and feelings into words so effortlessly, in a way that makes you feel like you know exactly what she’s saying and what she’s feeling… and it gives such a visceral reaction. I go through such a rollercoaster with her music because I feel her ups and I feel her downs. Heartbreakingly beautiful!
Her lines about being a soldier in the bridge are reflective of The Great War. I also suspect the lines of the room being thick with loss and indecision and her pain being such an imposition could support the thoughts of Bigger than the Whole Sky referencing a miscarriage. A loss like that can destroy a relationship especially a long term relationship where they haven’t gotten married yet.
I'm very glad you're mentioning this because frommthe first moment I heard BTTWS I thought it wasabout a misscarriage…
I've always thought this theory as well. I think they suffered through a miscarriage and he didn't give her enough love and support through it and because of that they fell apart.
I was waiting for your reaction to this. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response to this song. I echo absolutely everything you said. All of the callback lyrics to older songs make it even more heartbreaking, and using her heartbeat as a beat (like she did in Wildest Dreams), but stopping when she says “I can’t find a pulse”…she’s such a genius. I think as heartbreaking as it is, “I wouldn’t marry me either” might be one of her most savage lines, including ATW10MV and WCS…it’s such an achingly honest and heartbreaking lyric, but also confessional in a very intentional way, which I’m really glad she chose to do.
This is an interesting song, too, because it uses so much of the same medical imagery of the song “epiphany,” and of course, the war imagery. But she also used her heartbeat in Wildest Dreams, which is also a song about inevitable relationship loss - burning it all down, when he leaves her, the memories will follow him around.
you are by far the best person i’ve ever seen reacting to taylor’s songs, you can actually SEE what she’s saying and it’s wonderful ❤
Ah! I was also there on Friday - it was so amazing! Her portion of the show (not including openers) was 3 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES!!! I’m excited to see your video about it! And the fact that we got to watch a music video premiere WITH Taylor (and her dancers)? 😭😭😭 I’m pretty sure we won the whole Eras Tour 😂
I was there too, I limped out of that stadium with feet so sore I didnt understand why my usual concert shoes failed me like that… didnt realize the show was THAT LONG??!
Before I even heard the song when I saw the title "You're Losing Me" I just feel and know that it would be some "tolerate it" kind of sh!t and I never hated being right about something. And it has her heartbeat in it!! This song really hurts!! 🥲💔
i relate to this song on a person with mental illness point of view, like, to be with someone who doesnt and never will understand your forever blues. first song on the álbum she says “you dont really read into my melancolia” then on the last its “how can you say that you love someone you cant tell its dying”. he cannot see her, he cannot understand her pain and feelings and needs. the amount of days i’ve felt this way.. i can picture the whole scene and feel the whole feeling. cant even listen to this song it hurts too deep. to me, the saddest song she’s ever put out. i knew you’d be torn apart with this one too hahahah
the “i know my pain is much an inposition” also kills me. it fisically hurts cause god yes my pain is unfortunately an imposition for everyone around me, even though i try so hard not to be. its kinda like “the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me” in another (sadder) words. anyway
I’m convinced midnights was a breakup album and some of the songs on evermore and folklore that were breakup songs were about Joe.
Another thing is that this song is different from all her other breakup song. It’s not angry or revengeful. It’s just sad. It’s heartbreaking.
I have a hard time reading *too* much into things with folkmore, since a lot of those were fictional narratives. And she literally also has songs like “invisible string” (which got removed from the Eras Tour set list around the time the breakup was announced) and “long story short,” highlighting the positives in their relationship on those records, not to mention some of the saddest songs are ones they wrote together. Perhaps it was more of a subconscious thing that came together as she began to process things more with a song like this and her realization that they had reached an impasse in their relationship, but I don’t know that I’d say she wrote any breakup songs *directly* about their specific situation intentionally until recently.
@@cakt1991 what about hoax?
@@fosminclorin I think that’s either a purely fictional narrative or inspired by a previous relationship. She also said in the Long Pond Sessions to her collaborator Aaron Dessner: “I think I said, “What if not all of these feelings are about the same person? What if I’m writing about several different, very fractured situations? Like one is about love, and one is about a business thing that really hurt, and one is about a sort of relationship that I considered family, but that really hurt.” […] I definitely had the moment of doubt. I had the moment of like, “I don’t usually do this, I usually know exactly what I’m writing about,” and I was really happy when you kind of pushed me forward, like, “Nope, do the thing that makes you uncomfortable.” I can see the different situations she could be referring to, and the state of her relationship with Joe at that time doesn’t fit for me. And her willingness to speak fairly fondly of him and their collaborations in that same doc also suggests that that none of the sad songs were really about him at that time.
@@cakt1991 yeah, that makes sense, but she mentioned the color blue in previous songs about him
@@fosminclorin but she also mentioned blue in “Red,” about Jake Gyllenhaal…”Losing him was blue…like I’d never known.” And that entire song is about colors she associates with aspects of that relationship. She actually references blue quite a bit on Red, not to mention some other references to it on other pre-Joe records…there’s a Tumblr page that compiled all the references to date.
Even if you aren’t a fan. She’s an incredible songwriter. I hope the eras tour comes to Canada!!!!
I’m sure she will come to Canada! 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦 love you Canada!
feels like the flip side to the great war
This one wrecked me- one of those songs I'll never be able to listen to without crying lol. I was waiting for you to do this one. Watching people pick her apart over the whole matty healy and ice spice situation has made my heart hurt, I think people need to realize that she still very much is a human being, and maybe she's dealing with this the best she knows how- she's allowed to grieve the relationship in any way she needs to. I remember when she was talking about her relationship and wanting to keep it "manageable" and that's why she'll only share it in song I believe, and I don't expect her to put out public statements because of that, we're not owed it, and this is how she said she processes things. In a silver lining way, I think her seeing the crowds being warm and welcoming to her every show is helping her in ways we don't even know, but only taking from her own comments on stage. The other thing that bugs me about this situation, is People who keep putting euphoria clips and expecting her to break down, I wish those people would have more empathy towards the situation, it's like we've somehow separated Taylor being an entertainer from her being human and I don't like it at all.
I feel like some of her songs are very clearly for herself, to process. When I was listening to it for the first time I felt like she is singing it to herself. No matter what are the speculations, this is definitely very personal song for her.
Even a therapist needs therapy after this song
This song also makes me think of trying to have a relationship with an addict, it’s sad and lonely when you have to walk away, tired of constantly trying to fix it. That line abt the morning, glaring with storms, being angry, sounds like a rough night prior, which is typical in an addicts world. The damage is too much, the addict doesn’t see it, can’t see it. They also choose the addiction over the relationship. They can’t see how their addiction has made the other person so grey. You have so much empathy hoping they will get better. You give all your best and fight, but you are alone in doing so. Then, the heartbeat just stops, the relationship ends. It is a very sad song
THANK YOU so much for doing this song. It’s a gut kick. She writes so matter of fact and it punches you in the heart. Side note, So happy you had the best time at the concert. I knew you would. I’m salty she played maroon live for you all 😅
Be well Mere ❤
I completely relate to this song on a different level. I have a toxic relationship with my mum and this song speaks to me regarding this. Specifically the bridge. It’s gutting. The feeling of not knowing if the relationship is ever going to be fixed, if you will ever be good enough to make them meet you halfway. Taylor is a genius 💔
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
The fact that we went from "Give you my wild, give you a child" to "I wouldn't marry me either"
9:14 She wrote "you're losing me" before "the great war"
she thought the relationship was over so she wrote "youre losing me" but then she thought that the relationship is doing better then she wrote "the great war" and didn't realize song in the Midnight album
At the “how long could we be a sad song” line I kept saying when I s she going to pause this and comment. The look in your eyes is of such deep empathy and feeling.
I'm starting to think the song sweet nothing is more of a negative song, meaning all you ever wanted was nothing, no future, no marriage, no kids, no family, doesn't want her life. She is so clever! Great reaction ❤❤
The sit in the dark reminds me of daylight so much. How she felt that he brought daylight to her but then now its midnights.
similarities and opposite ideas i noticed in "You're Losing Me" to other Taylor's song about Joe:
"you say 'i don't understand' and i say "i know you don't" = "i want to wear his initial in a chain around my neck not because he owns me, but because he really knows me"
"remember this room? we loved it because of the light" = "like daylight...."
"i can't find a pulse, my heart won't start again anymore for you" = whole king of my heart lyrics, really
"every morning i glare at you with storms in my eyes" = "sometimes when i wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me?"
"my face was grey(...)" = "but it's golden..." (daylight)
"i am getting tired even for a phoenix (...) mending all her gashes" = "that's the kind of hearbreak time could never mend"
"i gave you all my best peace" = "would it be enough if i could never give you peace?"
"fighting it all with you army(...)" = the great war whole lyrics
"i wouldnt marry me either" = champagne problems (they wrote it together), paper rings, lavender haze
The double meaning behind the 'do I throw out everything or do I keep it?' like, does she throw away all the physical things that remind her of him or hold onto it in case it works out/throwing away the relationship or staying/trying again... ugh this song is sadder to me than All Too Well because it's just SAD when 2 people get to a point where they can't pretend it's working anymore. I also respect her for not making this song about him in a nasty/mean light, it's just obvious they were at different stages at the end and he didnt see how she was hurting in the end perhaps.
Also, not everything is about her and her perspective
The Phoenix part is something I agree many can relate to, myself as well. So many struggles in life and often no one stands with you, you have to do it yourself. The two other parts I feel strongly are when she says she sent signals...however the partner is not receiving them correctly (in my case they are turned into something else, where I have to take full responsibility for his life) and the other part is where he says she is the best thing in this party. I know this can mean so many things to people and it really resonates with me for SO MANY reasons. We try and try, but people like to put us down kind of thing. I LOVE this song so much.
i’m not really big on romance but even though i still relate to this, i had a fall out with a friendship recently and this song just puts that feeling perfectly. Taylor Swift is one of the best artist of our generation in my opinion.
Some of my worst “breakups” were with friends not romantic relationships.
I was totally waiting for your reaction to this song!!! It’s so well-written but oh so heartbreaking :(
Thank you for this reaction, Mere! I hope you get better soon
the fact that shes so good at communicating VERBALLY and expressing her feelings and it is clearly shown through her interviews as well as her entire discography lets me know shes not the problem here. the song literally states that he refused to listen. part of communication is listening and underfuckingstanding what is being said. he didnt get the memo that all her pleading meant she was dying inside. the non verbal commuication is to paint a metaphor of what it was actually like which i can only imagine taking to a wall begging screaming crying and being met with nothing but cold indifference. after a while u just stop trying "i know my pain is such an imposition"
@@FIREGOD333 Thank you for your input. Yes, she is quite capable of communicating through words, there is no denying that. It is true, though, that sometimes people who are very good at communicating ideas are at loss of words when they want to communicate their inner turmoil, specially to people closest to them. I am not saying that is definitely the case here or anything, I am just simply analyzing the lyrics and the possibilities. At the end of the day, only the two people who were in the relationship know what truly happened. We just have songs
I thought I was done crying after hearing this song so many times, but your reaction made me lost it again.
The ending really breaks my heart. She sings "I can't find a pulse. My heart won't start anymore." Without saying "for you". That's so sad 💔.
Another line that really hits me is "I have nothing to believe in, unless you're choosing me".
And some lines from Bejeweled came to my mind. Like "Putting someone first only works when you're in their Top 5" or "Don't put me in the basement when I want the penthouse of your heart". Was this all addressed to Joe?
"don't put me in the basement when i want the penthouse of your heart" always made me think of joe since she called him "handsome, you're a mansion with a view" in delicate.
i sat there listening to this song for the first time feeling so, so hurt for her. then i remembered her BRIDGES, it it took me out harder than i anticipated
You are phenomenal and I wasn’t able to attend but saw it on here thanks to an amazing guy who recorded it especially for us ❤👑. Moving on from a divorce right now myself from a guy, someone I gave everything to and wrapped my life around completely only to never show up in my worst moment mentally and emotionally, and then shifting blame onto me which I was partly to blame but I essentially felt gaslit to an extent.
Anyway this song as Taylor always seems to know exactly when to make at the exact right moment in my life sums up every bottled up emotion and self-sabotage tactic I made by giving everything only to receive nothing of real value from the so-called “love of my life”. Anyway it is a complete masterpiece and thanks for doing this, glad you enjoyed one of the best concerts of our lifetimes!! 🎉❤️👑
Joe never wanted Taylor for her shine (fame, success, acclamation, money) and, at first, that felt like a blessing to her. It felt right for her soulmate to want nothing but her as a person. But Taylor herself wants her shine, she wants the acclaim and accepts everything that comes with it. Her face as she stood in front of a 70k crowd in The Eras Tuor movie... I don't think she would be able to give that up if she were willing to try. I think she believed they could compromise, she would be able to keep her shine, but marry him with paper rings. But Taylor has become her own achievements, there's no separating the person from the jewel. And because neither wanted to let the other go, their connection faded until it was severed. I don't doubt this may have been the most unproblematic, amicable break up she ever had and at the same time the most painful.
Wow. You are on point!
@@mendwithmere Sweet Nothings and Bejeweled are probably about him, too. I'm basing my interpretation on that, plus the fact that in 5 months Travis has been seen with/talked about Taylor 10x more than Joe was in 6 years.
@@lorenagagamonster to be fair he’s in the public guy, he has a podcast and he is a professional athlete
I love her symbolismn so much. I remember having the same feelings in a earlier relationship. And this moment when you knew is the saddest you can imagine.
I so dig your style, Honest, aware, genuine and compassionate. I’m an instant fan/follower.
I appreciate that so much!!
Thank you for analyzing her song. I can cry for hours over it. I feel her pain so deeply. I love her so much as nobody else would understand, seeing all her Multiverse, not only the singer. Taylor, if you read this, this is for you. Your forever lover! Get me into your life! Hurry up!
Ah! Thank you, I needed this therapy session 😭 It’s a crushing song, and after so many lyrics about the fear of losing him, HE lost HER.
How did we go from the widest dreams’ heartbeats to you’re loosing me’s heartbeats?
“Now you’re running down the hallway” she’s referenced that with Jake gtllenhall and it’s like she’s saying they all end like this sooner or later. And the hallway seems like a metaphor like it’s an entrance but it’s also an exit
It’s interesting you associated the line, stop you’re loosing me, is her asking him to stop talking cause there’s a theory in twitter that the word “pathological people pleaser” was something Joe said to Taylor.
Yes! When i first heard “stop, you’re losing me” it’s like she’s begging him to stop twisting the knife, he keeps making the hurt deeper and isn’t doing anything to resolve it.
I didn't think of it that way 😢
Now TTPD & The Anthology albums have been in April 2024 - we understand why this was launched a seperate song from - Not part of Midnights or TTPD era.
The relationship with Joe was sick but not over. This song was the link. Then it ended.
The relationship with Matty was unfolding but there was a LONG history we didn’t know.
TTPD Era is the beginning of a new chapter for Taylor - to live life on her own terms.
this is such a heartbreaking song, one of the saddest of all her breakup songs. especially thinking of how a breakup this big hurt not only her but karlie as well, i don't really know how to explain it well but it's just so heart-breaking.
At 6:26 when you mentioned the couple in Exile, whom at one point were on the same page and understood each other... I'll add that they later became Coney Island. Where they're together but not together. They wonder where their lover is at when really their lover is right there in front of them. Seems they just grew apart.
And when she mentions the storms in her eyes, it makes me think of the Lavender Haze video where she's the only one awake in her sadness with the cloud over her head and she says "You never really read into my melancholia." Like she's literally saying she's sad and he's not noticing it hence the line in this song "...my face was gray but you wouldn't admit that we were sick."
To which it then reminded me of Tolerate It. She talks about staying up late at night AGAIN just looking over at him and wondering about their relationship. Saying she notices things aren't right between them and questioning if she's the only one who sees him just not giving much into the relationship. She then says she's willing to pull the knife out of her chest (end the relationship) unless he tells her otherwise. Queue in... "Do something babe, say something. Lose something babe, risk something. Choose something babe. I've got nothing to believe unless you're choosing me."
The saddest part is that she told him what she wanted in Lover. "Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever? Cuz you're my lover." That was her committing to him. That song is practically a proposal.
And to have Taylor describe their end perfectly in one entire song, in pure annihilation and obliteration, play HOAX. Read it word for word 😵.
I'm at a loss for words right now.
You nailed it! This song makes me feel like Joe was waiting for Taylor to change in some way, to be less…something, idk what. But it sounds like she wanted to be chosen and he never could get to the point of marriage with her and that’s devistating. I always imagined SHE was the one that didn’t want to be married but now I’m realizing “give you my wild, give you a child”(peace)….she might have been the one who wanted more and he just couldn’t say yes which means he was saying no….and withholding that love was killing her “there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love,the slowest way is never loving them enough” (high infidelity)
@@Kristina-rt1ty I was gonna add Peace in there but Hoax smacked me in the face 😂. I didn't like the way she was describing him in that song either.
The line where she says, "Your integrity makes me seem small. You paint dreamscapes on the wall. I talk shit with my friends. It's like I'm wasting your honor".
Essentially, she's saying she feels less than when she's with him like as if he's better than her as a person. That to me was a red flag. No one should feel that way in any relationship. Especially if your significant other makes you feel that way. That's horrible and sad.
But reading that back it's almost like she already knew the relationship wasn't gonna last. She just kept pushing through it thinking maybe she's making too much ado about nothing. If you catch my drift. Gosh, let's think back and remember Cornelia Street, False God and Death By A Thousand Cuts off of Lover. Like what?
Cornelia Street is basically her looking back to their beginnings. Meaning, the relationship is either over or coming to an end and just fizzling out. They had their problems early on cuz she mentioned packing her bags and leaving but he calls her and convinces her to give it another shot. Which she does cuz that's the kind of person she is. Always giving her all. In False God she talks about their back and forth fights, trying to convince themselves it'll work itself out.
And Death By A Thousand Cuts is the aftermath of Cornelia Street. Where she left him before getting back together with him. It almost mirrors Hits Different doesn't it? Both songs she's drunk and just a mess. Walking the streets and going to bars. "Gave up on me like I was a bad drug." Let's also add: "You said it was a great love, one for the ages. But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?"
Look where we are now after Lover, Folklore, Evermore and now Midnights. So many "pages" of their love. Shit does hit different doesn't it? Now that we can step back and look at all of this from a different perspective. The way Taylor tells a story through different songs tied to each other, that people wouldn't even think are connected, is crazy.
But hey, that's our speculation. I just want her to be happy and being really creative with her music. I'm still hoping for that rock album 🤞 lol. I wanna hear that Vigilante Queen SLAY.
@@yvetterodriguez2550 yes! Listening to all those songs from this new perspective is changing everything! always thought it was interesting that she wrote hoax about him cuz it’s so deeply sad and now I’m starting to understand why…he wasn’t her person and now she’s shimmering! She said recently her life now makes sense and she’s happiest she’s ever been! He was holding her back/wanting her to be different. Now she’s her whole authentic self and i bet she feels so free.
I also want the rock album but mostly the VAULT REPUTATION TRACKS!! i want her to lean into it and say all the things she held back years ago. I want the piping hot tea ☕️ lol
SUCCHHHH a great review, and as a therapist, I feel like a lot of TS's songs can be therapeutic, bringing that cathartic process to one's self, in this case it's just processing the letting go. LOVE IT. GREAT video, new fan
April last year, when THE news came out- I was one of the swifties who took quite a time to have a denial stage on their breakup. I was acting like that in my part mainly because I just don't want Taylor to go through things again like what she went through before when breakups come in easily for her years/decade ago before Joe even happened to her- like I was scared of the media speculating about everything like her love life is a sport, they'll probably start to mock her for not keeping a man for good or she's gonna write another breakup album again, calling her a man hater or slvt/wh0re and stuff, it's just traumatic- some of you wouldn't get it cuz you weren't there (2011-2018 ESPECIALLY 2013-2016 like those years are nuts). BUT queen mother humbled me, Taylor made sure to let us know what really happened and she trusted us- my god the complete 180 of my beliefs after hearing 'You're Losing Me' in late May is funny but worth it at the same time. Then after hearing this song, I looked back on the past 4 albums we had from her with Joe beside her in that timeframe and wow, everything made sense like it showed me how gaslit I was and maybe her as well in that relationship that we witnessed all this time. I liked Joe cuz when almost everything went south in her career, she was at her lowest- he was there BUT that happenstance may also be the catalyst of how this relationship went down (in flames jk) aka the victim/savior complex... okay idk what I'm saying here but somehow Taylor has this imagery of Joe as her 'knight in shining armor'- "he saved her from the darkness, great! happily ever after" but that wasn't the case here, with this mindset of Taylor plus Joe's demanding attitude or aura (cuz idk what really happened but it felt like the demand is in Joe's favor in this) Taylor will tend to bend under his will (listen to willow, Joe really got her chase him and will do anything to get him) and adjust everything, her lifestyle and whatnot, in her power just to be with this man cuz this man doesn't want the life she's always been in, the scale of how magnified Taylor's life is as a celebrity/artist. In hindsight, we didn't know any of this and thought oooohhh Taylor is so in love and this is the endgame wow... but looking back now? it's just sad and aching to see Taylor looking like she's begging for him to stay, she did everything to make it work even staying with him where no one else can see them like they're hiding from everyone (ngl in the first 1-2 years of their relationship, Taylor needed that because of how her reputation shattered by the media and everyone in 2016-17 but eventually, she healed and go back to what her intended lifestyle and how she makes the whole place shimmer), she even avoided the idea of marriage (lavender haze) when 3 years in their relationship she's already dropping hints in his face my god (lover, paper rings, end game, i think he knows, willow, PEACE ugh i could go on) yet hE STILL WON'T COMMIT! idk what's his problem tbh, maybe he loved her when she was in her worst but honey, this is Taylor Swift- she will always rise from the ashes like a fckng phoenix and he broke that in her, she said she's tired even tho she's a phoenix- tired of sticking her neck out in this relationship with him doing nothing at all. The love they had was real at some point until Joe realized she's much bigger than this and she can be bigger than the last time he checked, he chickened out- he felt hesitant at some point in that 6-year relationship cuz he didn't want her way of living and it's inevitable that she will go back in the spotlight... she outgrew him. I think Taylor realized she's better than this and she finally knew her self-worth to get away from this "stuck in the middle of nowhere, suffocating, and dying in the vine" relationship and you know what? good for her because I believe that in the name of LOVE, no one should be contained (feelings or validity of existence) it's love- not a possession... love is about GROWING, makes each other be seen and help each other to grow in their lives and NOT stuck in a box waiting to rot. I wanted to be kind to Joe but my god it almost felt like he wasted her time (6 years, 6 YEARS? and she thought they were gonna be end game), he led her on and left her hanging apparently. I'm just happy Taylor is in a very different place now, she's happy and that's all that matters to me. Thanks for coming in my TedTalk lol
She went from Lover to this ?!?! This is so gut-wrenching and sad. I don't know if I'll ever be able to listen to Lover the same way again.
i saw somewhere on social media that someone said “the lovers house on the eras tour looks different from the lover video because they’ve moved out” and now after hearing “remember looking at this room, we loved it cause of the light” it guts me.
Just like you, I saw hints in her words. I thought about Exile too when said "I sent you signals" (which Taylor and Joe both wrote). And also The Great War when she talks about being a soldier.
You say, "I don't understand" and I say, "I know you don't"
We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't
Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light
Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?
I'm getting tired even for a phoenix
Always risin' from the ashes
Mendin' all her gashes
You might just have dealt the final blow
Stop, you're losing me
Stop, you're losing me
Stop, you're losing me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore for you
'Cause you're losing me
Every mornin' I glared at you with storms in my eyes
How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?
I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick
My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick
And the air is thick with loss and indecision
I know my pain is such an imposition
Now, you're running down the hallway
And you know what they all say
"You don't know what you got until it's gone"
Stop, you're losing me
Stop, you're losing me
Stop, you're losing me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore for you
'Cause you're losing me
'Cause you're losing me
Stop (Stop) 'cause you're losing me
My heart won't start anymore (Stop 'cause you're losing me)
My heart won't start anymore (Stop 'cause you're losing me)
How long could we be a sad song
'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?
I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy
And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier
Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me
I'm the best thing at this party (You're losing me)
And I wouldn't marry me either
A pathological people pleaser
Who only wanted you to see her
And I'm fading, thinkin'
"Do something, babe, say something" (Say something)
"Lose something, babe, risk something" (You're losing me)
"Choose something, babe, I got nothing" (I got nothing)
"To believe, unless you're choosing me"
You're losing me
Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me
Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me
I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore
I know how she feels. That song applies to my life at 67. 😢
Right when this song released, I knew it was my favorite. Because it's something I'm going through right now and I appreciate your interpretations, brought to light some things happening in my own life that I wasn't even recognizing. Love the channel and reaction.
Taylor mentioned her and Joe were very different. He is more introverted, and she is more outgoing. I hope her and Travis Kelce make it work. They have personalities that are similar.
The part at 2:48 when you say “Taylorrr”….we ALL felt that for her
I think, sweet nothings is a little more bittersweet in retrospect. Not in the "oh, it's so sad that they broke up... They were so happy!" kind of way. More like "Taylor wasn't happy with the kind of domesticity that Joe wanted with her" kind of way. All he wanted was a quiet life with her... She wants to shine. And while she may be too soft for all of it... It's what she wants in life.
This song meant a lot to me, because I went through this at the beginning of the year. We had a conversation about whether or not to break up, because I wanted to get married and he didn't want to. But he understood the importance of things and everything worked out fine. So I understand the song sentence by sentence... so sad. "Do something, say something", yeah, that's it.