I’m struggling with loss of self worth after dating two avoidant men who were originally friends of mine. The first left behind a lot of trauma. And I’ve been struggling not to blame myself for the most recent breakup as I still view him as put together, popular, and rational. I thought I’d be treated better by both cause we were friends first, but I still feel totally disposable and insufficient.
I think you're being very hard on yourself and internalizing. You're not responsible for their crap behaviors or traumas! Everything on their terms is My Way Or The Hghway. Healthy relationships are based on equality mutuality and reciprocity. Rejection is protection. Their karma is losing you. You matter most of all.♥️ Perhaps you have PTSD from these relationships. Take good care of yourself. Sending you the light 🙏🌞
Teo questions to ask someone new. 1. What does a relationship liik like for you and mean to you? 2. What does committment look like for you and mean to you?
So much to ask you. Regarding this letter--what are your thoughts on a structured dating "vetting process" wherein one of the screens would be blatantly asking prospective romantic partners how long they have been out of their most recent relationships? Kelly seemed to have all of her emotions in check, and she still got so hurt. (Also been there) It seems to me that a lot of pain would be avoided with a very strict screening process (to the extent one can get the truth of the matter). How long do you think people should be "finished" with a prior relationship before smearing all of those unresolved emotions into the next "thing"? ( a year, six months...?? How much time is a good, healthy amount to look out for in general to stay safe emotionally?) And I wonder if these boundaries are different with gay and straight romantic relationships? (BTW New subscriber here. I rang that subscriber bell, honey! I LOVE your delivery (so sincere, empathetic and hilarious as the same time) and content. I cannot express enough gratitude regarding"What the eff???" has been happening in my relationships. Your content has cleared up years of misery. I have a veritable portmanteau of creators who have been so helpful on my journey thus far--incorporating an understanding of abandonment wounds, nasty, nasty triggers, CPTSD from childhood trauma, run-ins with narcs or people on the narc spectrum...and now all of this deep dive with your lens regarding avoidant people who do unintentionally abuse us--the best info on top of all the other wonderful content. I am really making the distinction between that intention and unintentional abuse, so valuable to understand when deliberating the narc spectrum on some of these interactions) Thank you!! What a gift you have! Sincerely.
In this world verify everything. Discernment. Fact check. A background check is essential and check their digital footprint. A complete stranger can say anything. Always pay attention to your intuition. Don't collect red flags and dealbreakers. Indeed asking deep questions is important. Vetting - evaluating. Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future-Sam Vaknin podcast Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker I Hear You by Michael Sorenson 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. These questions can qualify and disqualify. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-IMAGO
Indeed Asking deep questions - vetting and discernment is essential. Fact check. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. These questions can qualify and disqualify. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis Safe People by Henry Cloud Boundaries by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
With all due respect for the program writing in, but your commentaries are just! 🙌🏼🙈 But on a more serious note, the kind of advice you would expects from a professional who is well versed on the topic of attachment.
hi there, thank you for your interest in letter submission. We have a Connect With Us link in the caption, you may kindly check it timely next month when the submission link will be available again.
I’m struggling with loss of self worth after dating two avoidant men who were originally friends of mine. The first left behind a lot of trauma. And I’ve been struggling not to blame myself for the most recent breakup as I still view him as put together, popular, and rational. I thought I’d be treated better by both cause we were friends first, but I still feel totally disposable and insufficient.
I think you're being very hard on yourself and internalizing. You're not responsible for their crap behaviors or traumas! Everything on their terms is My Way Or The Hghway.
Healthy relationships are based on equality mutuality and reciprocity. Rejection is protection. Their karma is losing you.
You matter most of all.♥️
Perhaps you have PTSD from these relationships. Take good care of yourself.
Sending you the light 🙏🌞
"cumulative karma"
"her comfort zone is dating people who are emotionally dead"
"toxic moodines"
these phrases are gold loool
Bravo again, Ken! ♥️
Teo questions to ask someone new.
1. What does a relationship liik like for you and mean to you?
2. What does committment look like for you and mean to you?
Hey Ken how do we submit a letter?
Information on how to do this is in the video description
So much to ask you. Regarding this letter--what are your thoughts on a structured dating "vetting process" wherein one of the screens would be blatantly asking prospective romantic partners how long they have been out of their most recent relationships? Kelly seemed to have all of her emotions in check, and she still got so hurt. (Also been there) It seems to me that a lot of pain would be avoided with a very strict screening process (to the extent one can get the truth of the matter). How long do you think people should be "finished" with a prior relationship before smearing all of those unresolved emotions into the next "thing"? ( a year, six months...?? How much time is a good, healthy amount to look out for in general to stay safe emotionally?) And I wonder if these boundaries are different with gay and straight romantic relationships?
(BTW New subscriber here. I rang that subscriber bell, honey! I LOVE your delivery (so sincere, empathetic and hilarious as the same time) and content. I cannot express enough gratitude regarding"What the eff???" has been happening in my relationships. Your content has cleared up years of misery. I have a veritable portmanteau of creators who have been so helpful on my journey thus far--incorporating an understanding of abandonment wounds, nasty, nasty triggers, CPTSD from childhood trauma, run-ins with narcs or people on the narc spectrum...and now all of this deep dive with your lens regarding avoidant people who do unintentionally abuse us--the best info on top of all the other wonderful content. I am really making the distinction between that intention and unintentional abuse, so valuable to understand when deliberating the narc spectrum on some of these interactions) Thank you!! What a gift you have! Sincerely.
In this world verify everything. Discernment. Fact check. A background check is essential and check their digital footprint. A complete stranger can say anything. Always pay attention to your intuition. Don't collect red flags and dealbreakers.
Indeed asking deep questions is important. Vetting - evaluating.
Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future-Sam Vaknin podcast
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. These questions can qualify and disqualify.
Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis
Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin - attachment styles
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-IMAGO
Indeed Asking deep questions - vetting and discernment is essential. Fact check.
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. These questions can qualify and disqualify.
Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
I Hear You by Michael Sorenson
Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future-Sam Vaknin podcast
Never doubt patterns. AKA the track record.
Sometimes these ppl change, just not for you
Not without serious inner work.
With all due respect for the program writing in, but your commentaries are just! 🙌🏼🙈
But on a more serious note, the kind of advice you would expects from a professional who is well versed on the topic of attachment.
Please add me to the list to submit a letter, I do not have instagram so I cant message you there
hi there, thank you for your interest in letter submission. We have a Connect With Us link in the caption, you may kindly check it timely next month when the submission link will be available again.