I am just coming back from another relapse. I'm scared and lonely. Thank God for these meetings. I wouldn't want to be alone with just my thoughts. I still have the jitters bad. One day at a time. Please God help me.
I am so blessed.i get to go to an AA meeting everyday.i chose to live cheap.i pick happiness instead of money.i improved over covid.the day we were in lockdown made me a liar.i told people the rooms of AA will never close.
'I no longer greatly handicap the work of Alcoholics Anonymous by broadcasting my personal name, as requested to avoid by Alcoholics Anonymous in the Foreward to the First Edition.' Spotted in a book available to the public in a thrift shop.
I stumbled unto that aspect of "God" that is talked about in The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle as a result of a nervous breakdown and the 12 steps of recovery in 1990 when I could neither see myself or my life with or without drugs and/or alcohol. Prayer, the steps, and Forgiveness for a woman whom I thought was a "bitch" was the catalyst for an "event" that I never asked for nor expected. "God" is indeed Love in It's Purest From yet formless. It started as a wet spot in my belly that shot down my legs to the bottoms of my feet and shot up like a geyser through the rest of my body leaving me with the purest feeling of Love I'd ever known removing every fiber of fear in my being in the process. I'd never known anything like it. If this was "God" which it indeed was It was way beyond my "understanding" in the human sense. "They" say in A.A. that this is "not supposed to happen" but the fact is that it did. As a result of all this I began to question what was being said in the "rooms' because it didn't apply to What had found me. The fact is that Eckhart is right, you are not "your mind" "alcoholic" or otherwise. Within the Gap of silence and serenity of mindlessness the dis-ease does not exist anywhere. I stopped doing meetings in 1993 without incident or the supposed "consequences" of being "drunk in the future" because there IS only NOW. You were never born, so you will never die, It’s only your illusions that destroy you. Behind the noises is a silence, blazing like a billion stars to keep away the darkness. For if you, have come to know this, you; have already died. Freedom's just another word for nothing else to lose. And btw; You are not "your story/drunkalouge"
Adrian Lee I am not my drunkalougue, but I lived every agonizing second of it!! Thanks for your powerful sharing Adrian Lee. THE only "time" that is real for me is this very present MOMENT!!! God bless.
People have been looking for something for centuries to explain things they can't comprehend; Why is the ocean and the trees there? What lays beyond the stars? Is there something else out there? Over the eons people invented an entity and called it "God" because we started to have thought and therefore judgement which resulted in dysfunction so that too has been going on for centuries before anyone in AA or whatever even thought of the word. We've put that "name"/lable "God" on people like Jesus, Buddha although he denied it, the Pope, and anyone representative of some religion or human idol or person... even the so-called (drum roll....) "Group Of Drunks". Then you go through the steps and you have an experience a quarter of the way through the 9th step (and NOT halfway through as erroneously reported by the group. The promises do say "BEFORE we are halfway through") and that Experience starts you to question everything you've learned and have been told because you learn that "God" is Love In It's Purest Form yet formless and therefore no-thing. Not a "sponsor" let alone the "Group Of Drunks" and therefore beyond your "understanding" and people have been misusing , misunderstanding and therefore are misinformed about that word "God". People often site John Lennon's Imagine as a hope. But "hope" indicates time as interpretated by man and in the world of the spirit there is only the now. A more accurate and more useful quote by Lennon is from his song (God) The Dream Is Over where he says that "God is a concept by which we measure our pain" which would, to be honest, a really good way to approach the steps, but I'm getting away from what I really want to say here. Those in AA or whatever 12 step fellowship they're in the ones that haven't been through the steps are merely one's going to church no matter what spin the group puts on it. There are those that have been through the steps that still struggle/"trudge" which literally means joyless journey, and those that have acceptance that life is and it goes on no matter what and it will be ego deflating but the fact remains that religion is a group of people that get together under a roof to practice a set of beliefs to get them to certain goals IE to "achieve soberiety" and to keep them in line by fear; "You'll get drunk and die if you leave". And then there is love as "understood" by man, but that word too has been misused, and misunderstood for centuries as well because it implies legal ownership which gets interpreted as "gratitude" to the "12 step fellowship". Spirituality goes beyond that where fear dies and is replaced by Pure Love and beyond all that "you" are that Perfect Love Exists in everyone. I would question the oft said AA line; "You are sick, you will be sick and you are going to stay sick" because of that Perfect Love inside you. There are days in my life which there is total silence with no mind chatter which I thought was so normal before. In that silent mind there are no thoughts of course, but there is no "me" where no concept or label exists, therefore I am not an "alcoholic" or an "addict" or "co-dependant" or any dysfunctional label you'd put on me. I am just life itself as pure as the mountain breeze. And there is no "you" so Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't exist, everything that AA "is" doesn't exist either. It's all much ado about nothing. There's a reason why it's said "What you see here, who you see here, what is said here leave it here" I finally learned that the human race in general is damaged/dysfunctional and one does not need to be addicted to any substance or the like. Addiction is just part of the issue. With the same mind we started wars, created nuclear weapons, and more recently absurd presidential elections. Dysfunction has been around for centuries. So has the spirituality that the fellowship offers through the steps. It's just that the 12 step fellowships have been living it's own lie since AA's inception. The same thing passed down for generations, and decades with nothing new, nothing pristine to shine through the fog of the ego when there's Something Greater beyond everything that AA "is" because everything is a concept... including AA and all concepts are illusion... including alcoholism. I happened onto something rare that doesn't happen often but I have met people that have been through similar experiences and left AA. Down the street from me where I live today there's a Unity church where half it's congregation is 12 step and the other half exploring other avenues of spirituality like A Course In Miracles. Out of those I've Interviewed the Course people who were originally members of AA, had a deeply disconcerting but Loving spiritual experience as the result of The Course, and ultimately left AA. People have been lied to. "Religion" is just a bus stop or better yet a kindergarten that very few graduate because the majority of people are always bringing things down to their level and that's what keeps them stuck with bullshit beliefs and attitudes. As far as "choice" goes, we think we are free when we choose; but we're not. Where there is choice, there is no freedom because that very choice springs from our conditioned state. We think we have a will of our own, and we exercise that will through choice. But, if you observe, you will see that will is the outcome of innumerable desires, of many forms of frustration, fears; and these frustrations, fears, desires are the outcome of our conditioning, of our background; so when we choose, we are never free. Choice in itself indicates the lack of freedom. A man who is really free has no choice; he is free, not to do this or that, but to be. As long as we have choice, we are really not free and we are not really individuals.
Hi +Adrian Lee, I found what you said extremely interesting. Do you pray?? I'm not saying this to fight or argue but to understand. I also believe that God is here in the present moment and the more I stay in the present moment the more I am able to do God's will. The problem with that is that our mind (which is not who we are, it's it's own thing) often runs away with it's self. This is where my delusional thinking happens. Our minds trick us and warp reality constantly. We don't completely comprehended what is really there because it can't make sense of certain things, this is where praying and the fellowship & my family comes in. I rely on them to give me the needed direction for when the delusional thinking (choice) tries to take over. My question to you would be who and what do you rely on when the monkey mind takes over? Again I'm not saying this to argue, just to understand better. If you'd rather we can discuss this over e-mail (michaelshea08@gmail.com) I am very interested in what you have to say and I have more questions.
Thank you like The program says we're from all types of back grounds from Park Ave.to a Park bench Buzz went and came from the moon to fine who he was thank you December 18th 2020
I am just coming back from another relapse. I'm scared and lonely. Thank God for these meetings. I wouldn't want to be alone with just my thoughts. I still have the jitters bad. One day at a time. Please God help me.
Hope you’re doing better now, friend ❤
Terrific example of sobriety triumphing over and despite depression.
Inspiration from an inspiring human being. God bless him, and all who have fought with it.
I am so blessed.i get to go to an AA meeting everyday.i chose to live cheap.i pick happiness instead of money.i improved over covid.the day we were in lockdown made me a liar.i told people the rooms of AA will never close.
Honored to listen. Jan.20,2022....
'I no longer greatly handicap the work of Alcoholics Anonymous by broadcasting my personal name, as requested to avoid by Alcoholics Anonymous in the Foreward to the First Edition.' Spotted in a book available to the public in a thrift shop.
So true, we should all be on the same level…drunks helping drunks.
So what.
Was this buzz aldrin
Wow. Listen to this.
The name “BUZZ” is all the more significant now...
I see what you did there.
I thought of that too lol
Hi I'm danita
I stumbled unto that aspect of "God" that is talked about in The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle as a result of a nervous breakdown and the 12 steps of recovery in 1990 when I could neither see myself or my life with or without drugs and/or alcohol. Prayer, the steps, and Forgiveness for a woman whom I thought was a "bitch" was the catalyst for an "event" that I never asked for nor expected. "God" is indeed Love in It's Purest From yet formless.
It started as a wet spot in my belly that shot down my legs to the bottoms of my feet and shot up like a geyser through the rest of my body leaving me with the purest feeling of Love I'd ever known removing every fiber of fear in my being in the process. I'd never known anything like it. If this was "God" which it indeed was It was way beyond my "understanding" in the human sense.
"They" say in A.A. that this is "not supposed to happen" but the fact is that it did. As a result of all this I began to question what was being said in the "rooms' because it didn't apply to What had found me. The fact is that Eckhart is right, you are not "your mind" "alcoholic" or otherwise. Within the Gap of silence and serenity of mindlessness the dis-ease does not exist anywhere.
I stopped doing meetings in 1993 without incident or the supposed "consequences" of being "drunk in the future" because there IS only NOW.
You were never born, so you will never die, It’s only your illusions that destroy you. Behind the noises is a silence, blazing like a billion stars to keep away the darkness. For if you, have come to know this, you; have already died.
Freedom's just another word for nothing else to lose.
And btw; You are not "your story/drunkalouge"
Adrian Lee I am not my drunkalougue, but I lived every agonizing second of it!! Thanks for your powerful sharing Adrian Lee. THE only "time" that is real for me is this very present MOMENT!!! God bless.
People have been looking for something for centuries to explain things they can't comprehend; Why is the ocean and the trees there? What lays beyond the stars? Is there something else out there? Over the eons people invented an entity and called it "God" because we started to have thought and therefore judgement which resulted in dysfunction so that too has been going on for centuries before anyone in AA or whatever even thought of the word. We've put that "name"/lable "God" on people like Jesus, Buddha although he denied it, the Pope, and anyone representative of some religion or human idol or person... even the so-called (drum roll....) "Group Of Drunks". Then you go through the steps and you have an experience a quarter of the way through the 9th step (and NOT halfway through as erroneously reported by the group. The promises do say "BEFORE we are halfway through") and that Experience starts you to question everything you've learned and have been told because you learn that "God" is Love In It's Purest Form yet formless and therefore no-thing. Not a "sponsor" let alone the "Group Of Drunks" and therefore beyond your "understanding" and people have been misusing , misunderstanding and therefore are misinformed about that word "God".
People often site John Lennon's Imagine as a hope. But "hope" indicates time as interpretated by man and in the world of the spirit there is only the now. A more accurate and more useful quote by Lennon is from his song (God) The Dream Is Over where he says that "God is a concept by which we measure our pain" which would, to be honest, a really good way to approach the steps, but I'm getting away from what I really want to say here. Those in AA or whatever 12 step fellowship they're in the ones that haven't been through the steps are merely one's going to church no matter what spin the group puts on it. There are those that have been through the steps that still struggle/"trudge" which literally means joyless journey, and those that have acceptance that life is and it goes on no matter what and it will be ego deflating but the fact remains that religion is a group of people that get together under a roof to practice a set of beliefs to get them to certain goals IE to "achieve soberiety" and to keep them in line by fear; "You'll get drunk and die if you leave". And then there is love as "understood" by man, but that word too has been misused, and misunderstood for centuries as well because it implies legal ownership which gets interpreted as "gratitude" to the "12 step fellowship". Spirituality goes beyond that where fear dies and is replaced by Pure Love and beyond all that "you" are that Perfect Love Exists in everyone. I would question the oft said AA line; "You are sick, you will be sick and you are going to stay sick" because of that Perfect Love inside you. There are days in my life which there is total silence with no mind chatter which I thought was so normal before. In that silent mind there are no thoughts of course, but there is no "me" where no concept or label exists, therefore I am not an "alcoholic" or an "addict" or "co-dependant" or any dysfunctional label you'd put on me. I am just life itself as pure as the mountain breeze. And there is no "you" so Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't exist, everything that AA "is" doesn't exist either. It's all much ado about nothing.
There's a reason why it's said "What you see here, who you see here, what is said here leave it here" I finally learned that the human race in general is damaged/dysfunctional and one does not need to be addicted to any substance or the like. Addiction is just part of the issue. With the same mind we started wars, created nuclear weapons, and more recently absurd presidential elections. Dysfunction has been around for centuries. So has the spirituality that the fellowship offers through the steps. It's just that the 12 step fellowships have been living it's own lie since AA's inception. The same thing passed down for generations, and decades with nothing new, nothing pristine to shine through the fog of the ego when there's Something Greater beyond everything that AA "is" because everything is a concept... including AA and all concepts are illusion... including alcoholism. I happened onto something rare that doesn't happen often but I have met people that have been through similar experiences and left AA. Down the street from me where I live today there's a Unity church where half it's congregation is 12 step and the other half exploring other avenues of spirituality like A Course In Miracles. Out of those I've Interviewed the Course people who were originally members of AA, had a deeply disconcerting but Loving spiritual experience as the result of The Course, and ultimately left AA.
People have been lied to.
"Religion" is just a bus stop or better yet a kindergarten that very few graduate because the majority of people are always bringing things down to their level and that's what keeps them stuck with bullshit beliefs and attitudes. As far as "choice" goes, we think we are free when we choose; but we're not. Where there is choice, there is no freedom because that very choice springs from our conditioned state. We think we have a will of our own, and we exercise that will through choice. But, if you observe, you will see that will is the outcome of innumerable desires, of many forms of frustration, fears; and these frustrations, fears, desires are the outcome of our conditioning, of our background; so when we choose, we are never free. Choice in itself indicates the lack of freedom. A man who is really free has no choice; he is free, not to do this or that, but to be. As long as we have choice, we are really not free and we are not really individuals.
Hi +Adrian Lee, I found what you said extremely interesting. Do you pray?? I'm not saying this to fight or argue but to understand. I also believe that God is here in the present moment and the more I stay in the present moment the more I am able to do God's will. The problem with that is that our mind (which is not who we are, it's it's own thing) often runs away with it's self. This is where my delusional thinking happens. Our minds trick us and warp reality constantly. We don't completely comprehended what is really there because it can't make sense of certain things, this is where praying and the fellowship & my family comes in. I rely on them to give me the needed direction for when the delusional thinking (choice) tries to take over. My question to you would be who and what do you rely on when the monkey mind takes over? Again I'm not saying this to argue, just to understand better. If you'd rather we can discuss this over e-mail (michaelshea08@gmail.com) I am very interested in what you have to say and I have more questions.
How are you now Adrian?
I get what i need, not what i want!
One step at a time
Very interesting to listen to.
American Legend - and a big set of balls to land on the moon - brave brave brave
Never went to the moon
Thank you like The program says we're from all types of back grounds from Park Ave.to a Park bench Buzz went and came from the moon to fine who he was thank you December 18th 2020
God bless you all
What kind of AA person is a “ famous “ one??
One who is famous, but suffers from alcholism
Anyone that says they are.
moon man
Of course nobody has walked on the moon. It seems good ole Buzz ought to 'practice the principles' and be honest about that.
My higher power asks me to be open minded