Why You Should Look Forward To The Menopause | Fleabag Series 2
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มี.ค. 2019
- "Women are born with pain built in" - here's why you should look forward to the menopause if you're a woman, according to Belinda (Kristin Scott Thomas).
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i think one thing that’s great about this scene is you know how pivotal this conversation is for fleabag and how much she cares because she doesn’t break the 4th wall
I was just thinking exactly the same thing!
this is one of my favorite scenes and i never realized that!
Did not notice that. Thanks!
MINDBLOWN. I didn't notice
Great point! Can you remember if this is the one and only scene where she doesn't break it? I didn't even notice. Thank you.
So I admittedly get a bit teary when I watch this. I think as a woman, we get older with this learned fear of social irrelevance, of biological irrelevance. But this scene is of a successful older woman reassuring a younger woman that getting older is actually magnificent and freeing. And holy shit, it's totally reassuring to me too.
I feel like for women, getting older is a LOT harder than it is for men. Women always are appreciated for big parts because of their looks. As a result, a few wrinkles on your face means that your social value is falling.
This scene, however, provided a different insight- finally you aren't valued as an object and fully become a human being in other's eyes.
That's lovely to hear. This show was fantastic.
@@crowe3627 And yet old women are happier than old men. Women between 70-90 years old have the lowest suicide rates of any age group, whereas men between the same age have the highest.
@@bubastis6306 Thank you, Feminism.
As women get old, their value as humans plummets to that of a man. Must be tough losing all that privilege.
I'm living in the limbo between "Most people are... shit" and "People are all we've got".
same oh god
I agree it’s so stress full
And this type of thinking makes me have a hard time in social situations
How about "People are worth taking a chance on" ?
@@telectronix1368 I love it!
@@telectronix1368 wow thank you
Yes, the Hot Priest was wonderful - but Belinda was the true hero of season 2.
I agree! I loooooove those scene!
If we ever get a Fleabag comeback when she's older, as PWB mentioned one time, I want to see Belinda. If I don't get to see Belinda I will scream
And she did blink
I like this character so much!! wich episode is this one?
@@elliinspace That's exactly where my mind went as well XD
I think this is the longest conversations that she was focused 100%
No address to the camera...very telling...
No winks to the camera. Just total focus. Wonderful.
It is brilliant writing, and more than that, brilliant insight to what menstruation and menopause mean in a woman's life. THANK YOU, Fleabag, for putting this on film.
The character doesn't need to break 'away' from the scene to talk to the audience because the writing is already doing that.
This scene more than any other moment in Fleabag seems like (to me) Pheobe WB just sitting down and writing "here is what I think it is to be a woman".
"What had Jesus done by 33?"
"...died?"
"EXACTLY now get out there and flirt"
If only I was thought that in school.
Jesus did several miracles, teaching God's word and rose on the cross to free us from sin. It's more than just that.
@@summerrose8110rose from cross and gone where ?
"People are all we've got" hit me like a brick
Moi aussi.
Im a guy. And this scene knocked me out.. I can imagine what women go through. Such a well conveyed perspective.made me think and rethink.
Like a truck with bricks speeding at 100 miles per hour.
Indeed. I'm shook lol
As an introvert it is hard to admit this is true.
What gets me about this scene is that it's almost as if fleabag is being told that everything will be ok in the end by her future self. From the caring nature down to the similar hairstyle Belinda is a reflection of what fleabag has to look forward to while reminding her not to take this period in her life for granted. Amazing scene from both Kristin Scott Thomas and Phoebe Waller-Bridge
Oh my god, I'd never thought about it like that! But it's so true!
Yes!! Remember in season 1 when she said she was so terrified of what she would do when people didn't want to f*ck her anymore? The way this show catalogs Fleabag's journey towards healing is so brilliant.
Wow well said!
"No longer just a machine with parts...Just a person...in business" My soul dropped to the floor to think about how that might feel.
This entire scene was perfect but this line summed it all up.
Same. I wanted to grow wings.
What I hear is stark self-hatred and personal body-shaming. Ilike to think most women dont feel like that.
@@MrSidney9 I don't know if you are a woman, but I promise you - this is NOT self hatred or body shaming. Human societies have long trapped women into narrow roles because of their biology. What she says is not a reaction to her body - it is a reaction to the expectations of society on her body.
@@Sentientmatter8 Not society. Nature has imposed on women the pain and the pleasure of being able to bear children. Much of culture in every society is organized around Nature's impositions. Nature is the substrate. This is especially visible in less developed societies where human technology hasn't tamed much of the influences of Nature. Contraceptives, for instance, has done more to liberate women than any philosophy or activism.
We're raised to believe that our youth is our prime. It takes a lot to unlearn that. No one is in their prime in their youth. Everyone I've ever met has gotten slightly happier each year of their lives. The only people who reach middle age and are less happy with the person they are now than they were back then are the type of people to cling to a delusion of idealistic youth. Each year is more wisdom, more experience, more practice at being a human being, more time to get to know yourself. And for women especially, we need that practice, cos it's also one more year of dealing with how the world treats us.
Physically, our youth is our prime and of course gravity is always working its magic. I love your message here about, "Each year is more wisdom, more experience, more practice at being a human being..." Even in the face of society's expectations, aging like most things has a lot to do with the person's mentality and gratitude.
Preach
@@ampmri2434 Couldn't your prime physically not,be in your youth either? Or at least extend it into your 30s 40s 50s and 60s if you take care of yourself?
@@leif1075 Are these rhetorical questions, I think you may already have the answers.
entertain7us14 wow
This scene has stuck with me. It's so brilliantly written and performed
my favourite scene in the entire series, even though it has a lof of great scenes, but this one just effected me in a way, nothing else on this show
Some real gems of wisdom in this 4:38 clip, delivered with humor and modesty and the viewer wasn't beaten over the head.
IFKR
"I wish you were my type."
If she rejected me like that i would feel so flattered.
But what did she mean by that ? I don’t understand, is she saying she’s not appealing physically to her ?
@@tharakir1328 could be that, yeah. Could be the age difference too. We all have people we're more/less drawn to sexually than others
@@tharakir1328Homosexuality is a sin, that's why.
Belinda's actress KILLED IT in this scene and left a lasting impression on us with 5 minutes of screen time
@Romil You mean Kristen Scott Thomas? Yes, she's a star and she's awesome!
@@Lulph yeah I hadn't heard of her before seeing this, but she even got an Emmy nom for this episode!
@@Lulph don’t be that person.
@@hameed What person?
You should watch the English Patient
Oh, PERIOD film. I just got that 🤣 That took me WAY too long 🤣
I didn't get until I saw your comment 😂
First I thought it was just a joke on the fact that it's horror, not a classy, period movie. (I thought she was gonna say The English Patient... get it? ;) ) Now I get the joke... LOOOL.
@@oscarfun100 ME TOO
I thought it was because fleabag is younger so she thought that Carrie (late 70s) is a period film
@@abbieisakilljoy6977 YEP! Also my thought process
I'm struck by how many smart, insightful comments there are here. No snark, no sarcasm. This just made my afternoon. Thanks everyone.
Oh get lost
ikr
@@jameshudson395 likewise to you
@@jameshudson395 Everyone except this dumbass😂
Yeah what a great fan base
what gets me about fleabag is that phoebe is essentially watching and engaging with the words that she wrote and the whole process must be so odd yet rewarding.
It's amazing and almost unbelievable that this younger actress wrote the entire thing. Incredibly talented.
She also wrote the first season of Killing Eve.
@@sarahcameronlerer4883 Which is why its the best
This scene hit me, especially the bit with women being born with pain but men however have to go looking for it, it hit me so much that when I ran a blank in my A Level Literature exam I actually quoted it from a 'critic' (which is a lie obvs). And I'm hoping the examiner just accepts its brilliance and doesn't go looking for it because I will probably be penalised for trying to use a tv show to support my allusive point on The Great Gatsby. If they mark me down screw them, it's a great quote I'm keeping for life but I hope I haven't doomed myself.
Ropsana Khanom update?
astreqwerty missed a grade A by a couple of marks, whether they penalised me for the quote I have no idea but I'm off to medical school 😆 thanks for asking
Ropsana Khanom congratulations!!! 😊
AlvWaynwood thank you so much!
@@RK-ep8qy godspeed to you!
We need to show this to teenage girls
@Lee TV Exactly.
Susie English Im a teenage girl I’m 16 and I cannot decide where to begin I understand so much yet I don’t
@@StrangeAttractor And who exactly endowed you with the knowledge of what every woman is and isn't capable of? And that it's always some great tragedy full of regret if a woman ends up with no children? Some people are actually fulfilled enough in life and feel no need to have them, including women. And even continue to feel that way till their last days, as shocking as that may seem to you.
Maybe if you're talking about, say, Jennifer Aniston. But most women are not even in the same ballpark as Jennifer Aniston. The handful of women I know who have kids are the happiest ones, the others are either busy quitting their careers and embracing 'self-love', or they are on medication for mental health problems.
@@StrangeAttractor That's the women you know, and good for them. It doesn't apply to every other woman on this planet. And just because those other women you know don't have children, does not mean it is the cause of the unhappiness in their lives. If we're gonna go on anecdotal evidence here, I've known a number of women who do have children and yet are extremely unhappy in their lives and even struggle with mental health issues. Having children is not for everyone and it won't make every woman happy with their lives or unhappy if they don't have them.
This could be my favourite scene in the entire show. The idea of men ‘creating their own pain’ whilst women have got it all going on inside them, the fluidity and chemistry of the two characters, the fact that Fleabag almost always talks to people only if they’re family or if she wants to have sex with them, but she’s just awestruck by Belinda. And how real they both are: two women at different points in their biological lives and their working lives, yet they both have so much wisdom to impart. I bloody love Fleabag
The idea of Men creating their own pain by quote 'creating wars so they can feel things and touch each other' is maybe the most out of touch thing i've ever heard and it shows how naive women are about the male experience.
@@greedyboi011alr incel
@@greedyboi011 I know right what a ridiculous statment.
@greedyboi011 meanwhile women also creating wars! For example Cleopatra! All the conversation is absolutely cringe!
@greedyboi011 oh it is clearly hyperbole meant to illustrate a point. Men are so sensitive
Being a woman is trauma. The transition to girlhood to womanhood is paved with physical and emotional trauma. From grey area sex and rape, abortion, miscarriage, your vagina ripping open from childbirth, cervical smears, and post-partum depression. There is so much trauma and we are expected to deal with it silently and quietly, not making a scene. We barely acknowledge it. The film Never, Rarely, Sometimes Always is the perfect depiction of the trauma of womanhood
Grey area sex,rape and sexual assault is more or less same with men and women..it’s just that some men don’t even think can be sexually assaulted..I know 2 guys who were taken advantage of while they were drunk…even tho they felt uncomfortable after knowing the fact they still didn’t think it was a sexual assault.
@@ritesh6487 because many men and women connect the act of rape to penetration and that's something only men are capable of doing ( I mean the natural way, no toys ).
Getting drunk and getting ridden by a (hot) girl or a bj - what's wrong with that? "It's a dream"
Never, Rarely, Sometimes Always is a very underrated film ! It might not be for everyone - It's extremely slow paced and follows a less conventional narrative format paired with realistic writing. But, if not just for the ending alone and how it recontextualizes everything that's happened before, I believe it's worth watching.
and people always downplay the pain too, "oh it's not that bad" "can't be that painful" etc
yes, but if everything is trauma, we are nothing but victims. I rather go grab the night by it's nipples
Notice Fleabag doesn't acknowledge us once during this conversation. Belinda is one of the few people who can make her fully present. It's also foreshadowing for when Hot Priest starts noticing it
This scene is going to be on every Women’s Studies curriculum...
@J H It's more succinct than the essays, books and lectures. Plus, it can be used as a primer for diving into those texts.
raven3moon Here, here...
@J H There are thousands of essays and books and lectures on Psychology but my college instructor still showed us The Breakfast Club.
I used the pain quote in an academic essay.
Ruth Hermosura Thanks for that. Spread the word!
She is completely right about menopause, it brings incredible freedom.
The same with losing parents, in my experience.
It's horrendous but then it's......done and you are a different person.
@@telectronix1368 WHAT ???!!
did you used to have a good relationship with your parents?
@@selfi6724 When you are no longer "someone's child" it is a different experience as you go about the world.
@@telectronix1368 okaay I see
But I love my mum so much I would die if something happened to her
@Rike 98 That's sort of what I mean. You don't want them to be gone of course but......once they are....your experience of the world is different.
I have never seen this show, but this was one of the best exchanges of dialogue and acting that I have ever seen.
Watch it
It’s not only extremely hilarious it’s super thought provoking as well
Same!
I relate to this scene so much. There's an odd union between the traits that keep you from having many friends but then going overboard when you finally connect to someone. You're either too little or too far.
@S K Doyle Well said! I completely agree - I can relate too little or too far too...
Omg this!
I adore this scene and adore both of them. Fleabag was so cute in this. She feels so different with this woman than with the guys...even the Priest.
The writing on this show is so good.
Belinda: “What’s your favourite period film?”
Fleabag: “Carrie”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 makes me laugh every time
I didn’t get the joke the first time but then I remembered that Gym Shower scene where Carrie got her first period OMG Phoebe is such a genius when writing this 😂
@@takayanagi-senseissurprise2104 The whole movie is often considered a sort of girl's puberty allegory as well!
I don’t get the joke pleade explain 😢
@@meuthianabilapratiwi5535
So there was still Stephen King novel that became a film called Carrie. There was this scene in the film that she got unexpectedly got her first period right there in the gym shower in front of the other girls. Anyways, the joke was that Belinda was asking Fleabag what’s her favorite Period Film (Like those movies that are based on historical records or books) to which Fleabag responded:”Carrie” It’s a pun joke actually that involves two different definitions of the word period. One used for a period of time and the other is used for the menstruation cycle.
Brilliant scene from Fleabag, I miss this show's incisive wit. The "hair is everything" speech is my favourite.
'I look like a pencil...'
@@chrissiem3958 i was just about to say that... lol
I love the whole series, both seasons, but for some reason this scene and when fleabag says to Boo that she doesnt know what to do with all the love she feels for her mom and Boo says "i'll take it, it sounds lovely, you have to give it to me" just touched a part of my heart that was sleeping from long time ago
As someone with incredibly painful endometriosis (A chronic illness only in women) I understand this all too well.
amen!
yep
I'd just add any person with a uterus. Nonbinary and trans men included
Oh gosh, the pain
@@Merlincat007 women
She got to KISS Kristen Scott Thomas!?! Dead! So jealous!❤️
Yes but then what she says? Right after saying -honestly? Please someone tell me the rest of her response.
@@balahatun "Can't be arsed, darling."
@balahatun "Can't be arsed, darling". Meaning, she can't be bothered.
@@captaint5739 thank you!
@@1funkyflyguy thank you!
Every once in awhile I come back to rewatch this scene to witness genius acting and writing and to feel empowered. I’m a 24yo man 🤷🏻♂️
Best line ever.... "Honestly!?!??? ... Cant be arsed darling." :-) love it
what does this mean
@@aznmnh2 can't be bothered.
Yep!! I the same. I just couldn't be bothered. Wisdom teaches one that - no one ever is worth the energy or drama. Now l am 50's the bliss of not being bothered. Oh how much time wasted on men and heartbreak, ambition, desires, people pleasing to feel safe, others needs never my own .NOW I PLEASE ME ONLY. I HAVE A GREAT QUALITY OF LIFE. I AM MY GREATEST FRIEND/COMPANION. AND I NEVER BREAK MY HEART EVER. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
That's very attractive, you know.
you have no idea how much your comment has helped me mentally
and just wait till you get into your 70's, kids; it keeps getting better!
Do you not feel lonely? Genuine question.
@@poojagb I guess she was trying to convince herself
Every young person of this generation needs to hear this, especially young women. Phoebe Waller Bridge is a genius.
Kristin Scott Thomas is brilliant
Kristin got an Emmy nom for this!!! Brilliant.
I feel like Belinda was WAY underrated. Yeah the priest was cool, but BELINDA. She kept Fleabag concentrated the whole time. I just love her
Absolutely incredibly scene. Phoebe Walle-Bridge is a genius!
literally my favorite scene in any television show that ive ever watched
"It's not a party until someone flirts with you." Yep.
Belinda was on screen for maybe 6 minutes in the whole series and what a great character she turned out to be! This scene is amazing!
This monologue was so touching I had to rewind and watch it again. I felt so reassured when she said it gets better as you get old, till then every woman just suffers without claiming it.
Fleabag is a confirmed bicon
The way she says “not strictly” is so great
This whole time I thought this scene would be one of many scenes where you’re queer so you see the queer sexual tension when it isn’t there but then they actually kissed
probably my favorite scene from the whole series
I've watched this scene dozens of times, and I only just noticed that the two men in the background nudge each other and sneak a peak after Fleabag kisses Belinda at 3:52 XD
wait omg !
Reminds me of a scene from The Sopranos when Janice starts her speech for her mother and old man who was coming down from the stairs goes back up 😂
she’s literally become my idol - she’s in one episode but now most of my decisions are driven by what she would do
1:21 . Her hand.
Shivers from almost touching her.
Wonderful scene.
Phoebe is such a brilliant writer. She acts effortlessly too. I love her!!!
I've been afraid of actually doing anything to initiate a relationship but now I'm 23 and alone. Watching this to feel inspired
Oh, please, don't be afraid. 'Older woman' speaking here 😅 but I remember perfectly well when I was 23. Don't be afraid of guys. They are afraid themselves too. Always speak out your feelings or intentions or wishes. If they're not appreciated, move on. Cry it out, but don't be resentful. That's my advice if you're interested at all ☺️ I wish someone had told me this back then.
I'm a guy and I don't have any dogs in the race here but somehow I just felt that scene. It felt so honest and real.
We all age and the only constant is change!
I am a slightly older geezer and even I got a lot from this wee scene! Fantastic Phoebe!
This is the best convo on menopause I've EVER listened to. And every word is true!!
One of the great things about this scene is that there're two businessmen talking in the background(contrary to the two businesswomen).
This is such a brilliant show. It's been an amazing 3-4 years for women in show biz, (Phoebe, Sally, Suranne, Celine Sciamma, and HUNDREDS more around the world) I hope this continues to flourish. Loved this exchange with Bridget. So funny, and real, and deeply touching. People are indeed, all that we have.
Phoebe’s acting is really good in here
Phoebe is an absolute genius
Men seriously never ever get touched. Unless it’s by their girlfriend or wife. The pressure of “being a man” can get very lonely. This scene is just as important for men as it is for the women.
Karan Singh Maybe in your family. My family is super formal. 😢
@@amitnagpal1985 I'm sorry to hear that :(
I'm happy that there are men who can learn and enjoy women point of view.
As a woman who was too observant of her dad, rather focusing on her mum, I can agree. My dad treated my mum like enemy, just because she was gentle and caring person. I never understood, until it was too late that being nice is not a weakness, as my father tried to convince himself. Too late because my mum isn't here anymore to see that at the end I choosed her, her school of thoughts is more enjoyable and fulfilling that prison of self restriction my father live in.
amit nagpal yeah I'm glad society is slowly moving away from that, guys should be allowed to hug or lean on eachother without hearing no homo, allowed to cry and he emotional and not told to man up, as if they would be less because they expressed pain.
Well the thing is that no woman can cure this for you. You have to be emotionally available and open yourself to get a partner who is equally emotionally available. I feel sorry you had to grow up in such a formal family but you can change that. You can start by telling your parents you love them and eventually they'll say it too. You can start by asking your mother/father for a hug and sooner or later they'll do it without asking. You can start it by doing it with your siblings too. I started that in my family openly telling them that I love them and now it's become a norm in our family. And the best thing you can do is make this a norm in your family when you eventually have kids. Get yourself a partner who understands how much emotional vulnerability means to you. How "touch starved" can be a thing. Because if men can't convey their emotions properly, I am sorry to say nobody can read their minds. Take it little by little and reduce the formality if you can.
Jesus I love Kristen Scott Thomas
It's been two years and I'll still come back at least once week. This scene is definitely in the top 5 list of the best scenes ever made.
- Are you a lesbian?
- Not strictly
Best conversation in tv history. Best thing happened to me last 3 years.
belinda actually told her the things she's been looking for... she asked the therapist what she should do and she confessed to hot priest that she just wanted someone to tell her what to do, what to wear, etc.
and belinda assured her here that it will get better, she's doing okay at living life, what she should do at present time (flirt more, don't take the present for granted), she should look forward to the future.
She has amazingly expressive eyes.
not knocking the absolute brilliance of fleabag but all I can focus on is the continuity error involving the front piece of her hair, am I the only one? again, marvelous scene.
It annoyed me too lol
this is arguably my favorite scene in the series. this is exactly what she needed to hear.
this has got to be my favourite part of the series
"What's your favorite period film?"
"Carrie."
Agreed. Best period film ever made
58! Omg KST looks glorious
I'm so sad that fleabag had only two seasons. since her sexuality is such an important part of the story, I spent most of the series assuming she's straight, but well... apparently not. I would love to see this develop in future seasons. gosh, I love phoebe so much.
nat. That’s British comedy for you. Few episodes and even fewer seasons with unimaginable wits and humor. I hate but appreciate it at the same time. Even Phoebe regretted ending Fleabag that early.
hasslfoot yes! I completely agree- especially with the Boo part. If you think even her relationship with the Priest was flawed... she knew little about his scars (alcoholism, parental problems, his brother)
GOD DAMN this is one of the greatest bits of television I’ve ever seen. The subject matter, the acting, the simplicity of it all makes it so poignant UGH I LOVE IT
Whenever I get bad period cramps, I tell my mom that I can't wait to get menopause, and I'm only 21 years old
@Purple Bubblegum Yep, I'm 39 and I'm also tired of this bullsh*t! It's still a long way to go, unfortunately...
I'm 34. I got another 20 years maybe?
36 and counting down the years.
My period pain went away forever at 30 when I got my first pregnancy
My mother was so horrified by menopause she spiraled into a self-destructive mid-life crisis that lasted several years, harmed her family in numerous ways, and eventually ended with her being artificially inseminated with twins she's way too old to appropriately care for.
She's never been abusive to them, but she's clearly way out of her depth and too old to keep up with their needs.
No one was directly influencing her choices, but society as a whole making girls think their worth is tied up in being sexually available and fertile, to the point menopause is a horror, is fucked up.
These four minutes make up one of the most enchanting, hilarious, wonderful moments of television I've ever seen.
This scene was so honnest, raw and full of wisdom.... I wish it was nominated for it's writing & acting..
I haven't found menopause to be horrendous at all but alot has happened in my life since and now there's no pain for 'dramatic effects'...
There should be an entire book written about this scene. I’d buy it.
I loved this scene so much! Brilliant acting and writing
I LOVE this scene SO much because it feels so comfortable and nice.
This show is filled with characters which I swear had a three episode arc but turns out were only onscreen for 10mins. Absolutely mind-blowing
This may be my most favourite conversation in tv history! Can't believe it took TH-cam this long to recommend it to me.
You see the men’s reaction in the background when they kissed 🤣
3:50
For me, Phoebe's most magnificent moment
This scene is so important to me. I watch it whenever I feel like giving up.
This is genuinely genius 👏🏼👏🏼
Weirdly the woman who finally makes me feel a okay with growing old is miranda priestly from the devil wears prada. Looking at her make me feel like, oh yes, okay, i am pumped with having silver hair, wrinkles, and all that entails
Yes yes yes!!!🥰🥰
WHICH LESBIAN REJECTS THAT????
A tired one 😂
She was apparently exhausted
This was so homosexual
I'd sleep with both of them!
@@geekwithglasses2897 I mean she literally said, "I'm exhausted"
Still the best 5 minutes in television history.
Such a thoughtful and well-acted scene.. magnificent 💖
Kristen is such a bloody brilliant actor! Wish we saw her more
this speech is SOMETHING ELSE i loved it loved it
Just seen Fleabag Live.....think she is even more of a genius
Sensational women, sensational and honest writing. This is so wonderful.
Of all the moments in FLEABAG that made me weepy, this scene made me burst into tears. "No longer a machine with parts. Just a person."
My absolutely favorite scene of this season
This is terrific scene. So beautifully written.
this scene feels very real and like a very distilled piece of advice
I just realized this is the only conversation where Fleabag doesn't break the 4th wall.