The End Of A Marriage: 3 Reasons Why It Happens (And How To Prevent It)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 มิ.ย. 2024
- Would you believe us if we said we could look at any marriage that ended in divorce and tell you EXACTLY why it happened?
your.marriagehelper.com/how-t...
What if we could specify it down to one of three possible reasons?
If you want to know, keep reading. We will explain the top three reasons that marriages (and relationships) come to an end.
(And, we will reveal how each of these reasons is PREVENTABLE!)
We have worked with hundreds of thousands of couples over the past 20 years. We have seen marriages on the verge of ending - and have helped couples save the relationship and stay together.
What we’ve seen with these couples connects GREATLY with the research. According to the research of Dr. Gottman, all relationships end because of one of three reasons: either a person doesn’t feel liked, loved or respected.
All other issues are just symptoms of one of these three core problems.
What does it mean to “like” someone? At its simplest, liking someone means that you enjoy being around them. Think of it this way, if someone doesn’t like you, you probably won’t want to be around them much.
What does it mean to “love” someone? Scientifically it’s formed by intimacy, passion & commitment- but see our other video for a more detailed description: www.marriagehelper.com/marriag...
Love is also a deep connection and longing. It’s a willingness to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. And if you don’t feel loved, you may feel like you need to change in order to be accepted.
What does it mean to “respect” someone? It means to see a person as equal; a person who is allowed to think, feel, dream and wish for him/herself. So many times in marriage, we want to change what our spouse thinks, feels, or wants. However, this only leads our spouse to feel controlled or disrespected. When they don’t feel like they can be themselves, it pushes them away.
The goal in marriage is not to be codependent or completely independent, but interdependent. Where you don’t have to have each other but you want each other.
What about your marriage?
If any of these things are lacking in a marriage, one person not feeling liked, loved or respected… then the marriage is headed for trouble. That is, if you keep going forward in your relationship with no changes (when change is needed) things will probably get worse. But here’s the good news - you can change the trajectory that your marriage is on.
Your marriage can turnaround from where it currently is and become stronger and better than you could imagine.
We know that implementing these changes takes work. If you are lacking in any of the three areas: like, love or respect - we can help you. We have workshops, online courses, and coaching that can transform your marriage and change everything. Learn more by visiting www.marriagehelper.com or by calling 866-903-0990
- Workshops: marriagehelper.com/workshops/
- Coaching: marriagehelper.com/coaching/
- Online Courses: marriagehelper.com/programs/
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This information is slowly but surely saving my marriage. Still a ways to go, but I'm seeing the signs of progress. Thank you...
Awesome to hear it working ..all the best ..
WHOA!! I totally identified with this! I haven’t felt liked, loved or respected for quite a long time, and I’d be willing to bet my wife would say the exact same thing. No wonder things are such a mess. Guess I better get to fixing me before I lose her entirely.
Thanks marriage helper. I’ll be watching this one again.
Great video and advice. I don’t understand why some couples speak negatively about each other. When you talk about your spouse in a negative way, you are making yourself look bad. I respect my husband and enjoy being around him. We have been married for 26 1/2 years, and I still enjoy him and want to please him.
Thank you for the great tips. 🙏
When they yell, lie, try to cheat, don't celebrate your anniversary, it gets kind of hard not to be negative.
I feel like the marriage helper videos should have a tag noting where within a relationship the video is most applicable. This is a good one to view before things get bad, but face it, most people viewing it are only finding it after we need to look for help. Still good to know while working on improving ourselves and possibly figuring out what went wrong.
Wow...this really helped me. Thank you. Hopefully we can figure this out.
This is a slap in my face. This is all true. Wish I saw this sooner but it’s never to late.
I would like to thank all involved with the creation of this content, for sharing your talents & encouraging couples to do self inventory & work at staying married. I’m grateful to have stumbled across a few of your videos today and feel a little more hopeful. God bless.
Wish I had this info 10 years ago - thanks for sharing ❤️
This was a good refresher video. The codependency, lack of respect, has brought my marriage to where we are now: in separation. I have for the past 10 months worked on my self-development and learning a lot about myself but also where things went wrong. Your videos have been my lifeline and an inspiration to keep going. Because I do love my wife through thick and thin. I realized my mistakes and that's not easy. I am hopeful that I can mend our relationship. If not I will have learned the right skills to be a better version of myself.
@Dillards Shopper thank you for the encouragement! We don't have kids but I agree with everything else you said.
@Dillards Shopper @mikefr12 awesome coversation here. you are both amazing and definitely made some great points.
Did you all work it out?
Well said & true about the reasons.. 😕 THANK you for sharing! 😃
True...exactly what happened on our marriage, we annulled because I felt that three simple reasons, no more liked, loved and respect...and I’m happy now👍😊❤️
Excellent explanation! I needed this.
My ex partner. Told me he does not like me. I should change and he belittles me, dismisses every thing i say. I avoided him then he complained that i spend too much time working 🤣😂🤣. He broke up with me and changed his mind. I told him too late buster not interested in taking you back😅. Happy got rid of him feel so much better.
Great content, thanks!
How does it work when he’s is living with the other woman? How am I suppose to show him like,love,respect when he won’t talk or come near me.
That’s my NEW situation. He just left with no warning.
Wonderful presentation!
So powerful thankyou
thank you for sharing this
Ty I pray my wife comes to the workshop someday! I see how lost I was we have so much love left to give interdependent best thing I've heard
Great advice
PIES are working and push behaviours are out but a little bit
Further. I'm really finding out who I am
Awesome!! Good to know
Me and my wife are at a point where we are about to start marriage counseling but I would also like to bring up trying this process should I do it durning the counciling or use that time to work on things?
You are the best, I love your videos!
Thank you so much @michaelmoran6405. We truly appreciate your comment and are grateful to have you as part of our community here on TH-cam. Please, don't hesitate to reach out to us if there's anything else we can do for you. marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
Blessings,
what if you spouse has made up their mind and nothing will make them change their mind?
thank u for your information.
So helpful
I like the theme music though
THANK YOU GOD BLESS YOU
I must be a lost cause because I don't feel any of these things anymore. All that has been dead for years now.
How do get this across to the person that they lack love or like themselves or even respect for themselves when they lack self awareness. I'm aware of denial. But they have to want to see it themselves? Through self integrity?
Ever time I try my best to do these things she shutdown and gets frustrated when I bring it up
Does this also apply when the spouse is bipolar?
I know that when they on a leveled cycle they also need to feel these things but when they are either on a high or low?
What about if you are not attracted to your spouse anymore at all???
Great Information...👏..👍👍..✌💨🏃
I've tried everything but the love we feel towards each other is strong, but the respect is not there, she doesn't respect me,
What if one of them file for devorse because the other got canset or an illness from an accident?
Does bad health indicate that the spause doesn't like the other one?
So true
Please pray for me to change and for my marriage to be restored and transformed into something that brings joy into our lives.
Hey @biblefirst5691, Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! You can get access to it directly by following this link:
bit.ly/3FAr9Vg
@@MarriageHelper thank you !
Good information and much help. But would be far more effective with less hand movements which are extremely distracting.
Glad the information is helpful! So sorry if it was distracting. Kimberly loves to talk with her hands! 👐
Why some dont want to communicate
So, what if my husband wants an open relationship and wants to have other partners and lovers. I am really hurt by this and I am not sure where to go from here
Please do not agree with that. I wont tell you what to do. But that is not love! If my husband came to me with that it would end my marriage because nothing will make me go against my beliefs. That is immoral and disrespectful. You deserve to be the only love of someone's life! I will pray for you. I'm going thru my own problems. I don't know if my husband even loves me truly. But I'm trying. It's hard work. Blessings to you.
@@sandrarodriguez3850 I'm sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your marriage as well. Yeah, I have not agreed to let him, now I'm just always nervous that he might be doing it anyway. I don't have any evidence but it is a nagging fear. Best luck to you. Thank you for the support ❤️
Hi Laura, we have 2 specific videos on "Open Marriage" that can help! Here are the video links: th-cam.com/video/TlD3BnjtN6Y/w-d-xo.html & th-cam.com/video/7x7C6V918b0/w-d-xo.html
Laura if he love and care about you enough there wouldn't be room for another person. My advice is to remove yourself from the equation. Let it be someone else's problem.
Best of luck!
"Liked"! 😊
My wife is DONE with me. Nine years three kids like it never happened.
Same except husband. Unreal.
We jus had our 2nd child together and she asked me for a divorce said she's not in love with me anymore I've signed up for all of the free stuff from marriage helper and it's too soon to tell if it is working yet
Hey Brian Merritt, so sorry to hear you are going through this. Because of the complexity of this situation, we would strongly advise you reach out to us directly! You can call us at 1 (866) 903 0990 and be connected with one of our Client Representatives who will guide you to the best resources we have available for your situation. You can also schedule the call yourself for a time that works best for you by following this link: marriagehelper.com/marriage-strategy-call/
We look forward to speaking with you directly if you will allow it!
I don’t feel them
how can you save my marriage? I need help ASAP.
Hi Daniel, we have a lot of resources that can help! Please give us a call at 866-903-0990 or please email us at: info@marriagehelper.com We're looking forward to speaking with you!
I feel all those thing for my wife, but my wife dont feel that for me.. she is separeted and wants a divorce. And is staying at her mothers house.
how can a narcissistic wife and a codependent husband find love and heal their marriage especially if both have had loveless abusive parents
Bien sûr je sais bien et exactement je peux tout surmonté sauf abus, mensonge similation et ingratitude que je pas digéré dans ma vie merci beaucoup
I don’t think my ex husband and I, has a chance to back each other, we just separated 3moths ago. My ex husband is so much controlling since day 1 I met.. it’s just I am so in love.. that’s why we been together for 7 yrs.. I don’t feel any respect at all.. I just want now to really move on.because I can see to him, he will never change.. he is the boss on our house.. and mother in-law is living with us is really toxic.just sad we have a little princess 😢
I need some online adive or support on
If your spouse actually doesn’t like, love and respect you, there is no going back. It’s over.
I'm in such a hard situation. My wife even when as far as to tell me that she will be with someone else, knew that that person was there all along and wants to have their babies. She seems to only want to continue to kick me while I'm down, eventhough I have now taken steps to improve myself and be better for our marriage. I haven't cheated on her, there is no abuse no drugs and what not. But my wife just continually focuses on the negatives and the worng things I did or didn't do. I went through a rough patch of my life a few years ago and still I didn't cheat on her, but I ended up not being able to fully meet her needs. And not she says she doesn't know me and can't emotionally connect with me. I tell her that we haven't tried many resources and that our marriage can be saved. But she doesn't want any of of. I'm so broken.😢😢
If she’s doing that it’s because she’s stressed out and their situation isn’t being dealt with.
I can tell you....women want to change the guy...the guy just wants to be accepted the way he is....simple
Is it too hard to change something for sake family???
Toujours j' aime bien les mesures de prévention surtout une ou un de mes proches plus chere à moi je ne badine pas ça pour nous le mariage est sacré comme le non respect
I want to stay married. I don’t want it to end. I need help please. We need help, please. I still love my wife so much.
Oh ding the bell finally went off a little late huh cause u kept leaving an being disrespectful duhhh
Off topic a bit, but can you help me out with my problem, or do a video on this subject, I haven’t seen it yet, I found my husband sexting a hotel manager for two years when he was working out of town, he said it wasn’t an affair just liked doing it with her, he enjoyed all the dirty talk with her, she even showed him her breasts, l was devastated, and he wants me to start texting him like she did, what are your thoughts, he claims he has stopped doing it with her, I’m trying so hard to find out her name so I can call her husband to let him know what she was doing behind his back, I’m the only one who’s hurting here and that’s not right
Maria Lorraine If He’s doing that he odviously doesn’t respect you, he works out of town a lot and now your tormented on what’s really going on, keep that info don’t delete it, I caught my wife in a 6 month emotional affair and there daily topic of conversation was how bad of a person I was, dogging me out night and day, that’s not valuing those who are there for them, it’s disrespectful and cold and my advise to you would be DONT DO IT!! You be YOU and if your not enough for him then he doesn’t deserve you!! There are good men and women out there we just keep settling for the game these losers play!! I refuse my wife left 2 weeks ago I was totally undervalued, disrespected and many other things.. I’ve turned my focus to enjoying life and the things I enjoy doing, I bought a big piece of land near the coast so I can hunt bear, deer, turkey and boar, I can be at the coast fishing in an hour and not focused on dating or looking for anything, in your situation start being you, figure out things you enjoy doing and GET UP and start doing a little bit everyday before you know it your life will be full of blessed memories of things you love doing and you’ll see all the bad clearer and clearer.. it’s during these times we find clarity and purpose, I’m a Christian and I can honestly tell you I hear the voice Of God way CLEARER becausei filtered out the clutter, don’t compromise your values or beliefs for ANYONE!!! Never give a person that power over you!! I’d tell that husband I will NOT do that I’m your WIFE!! If you want to make love to me it will be in my boundaries or you can just flip off!! Be strong and of good courage you got this!!
Who you change this when you wife separeted and wants divorce and dont want to work in the marriage. And you do. My son dersive it.. i want my family together and i love my wife very much.
I don't represent Marriage Helper, but The Save My Marriage course is one thing to check out that you can do on your own.
@@scraig248 how can I get that book?
The couple you were with....food fight
She says that she has wanted a divorce for a long time and that is it.
they all say that but if you want to fight for your marriage you do what MH teaches you and if they still left. you still win as this makes you into a better person..
@@RaneetaFailua15 For sures. Just tired of mixed signals and emotions
@Dillards Shopper It was the end of may that she said she wanted a divorce, she moved out of our room that night, she moved out of our house, and got her own apartment the first part of July. She claims shes started the process but I haven't been served yet. I know that it ain't over tell it's over. Shes started coming around a little bit more, but she is either hot or cold. Her family talks really bad about me, I have been told that's because it is cause she is having second thoughts, but dont know. And it can't be in a favor is my belief.
@Dillards Shopper I am beginning to understand that she has quite a few narcissist family members and I am starting to see signs from her as well, know I am more worried about my kids.
I walk around on egg shells all day never know if im going to set him off. Have to stay away from certain subjects or he explode and start attacking me with his horrible attitude. Never wakeup the sleeping beast, dint come downstairs unless he thinks i should, certain rooms im not allowed in, although this is my house too, my name is on the deed too, but i have to have her let her in and i cant say anything about it. I say she is an intruder, i dont want her in my house ever, she steals my property
There is ONLY ONE REASON a person files for DIVORCE JUST ☝️!!!
Matthew 19:8 Moses gave you the certificate of divorce because of the HARDNESS OF YOUR HEARTS!! But f on the beginning it wasn’t so!! ANY person that REFUSES to at least TRY to save a marriage has a hard heart!!! When this happens you dodged a bully because hard hearted people will destroy you!! Let them GO!!
you lost me at Matthew 19:8
I see this too late...
If u dont like me stay away.
Don’t pay these people money. If your marriage is this bad, just get a divorce and don’t use lawyers. More money for child support.
interested to know if you followed your own advice ??
I wasnt respected cared for valued or loved. An abandoned rejected way before i did any damage he had to get first dig in in relationship so stop the pity pot gerald all your actions had consequences plus the ambulance trying to kill self with babies home cause i went out with friens dont bash me own your stuff take the big R GERALD
J'ai vraiment beaucoup de respect pour vous et je vous faites éloigner de certaines conditions de malfaiteurs oui comprendre à ce point