Hi Hi! No hate here, I watched your video in full and I really appreciate your honesty, I wanted to answer some of your questions here for transparency. 1) Why didn’t I come out and say it right away? Two reasons- one was the obvious, I was scared and didn’t want to get caught. I had a pretty good reputation and I didn’t want to lose everything I was proud of. I knew the community would tear me apart, and was extra scared because I had been doxxed in the past. I didn’t want to lose friends and stuff- which is totally the product of my own actions and stuff, but I was scared even tho it was my own fault. Two was that I was very mentally unwell and could not manage that stuff at the time. The reason I’m not specific about it is because it was legal concerns regarding a family member and was actually really traumatizing and I don’t want to get into it. I was at the worst time of my life and honestly? I didn’t have the energy to put extra stuff on myself. 2) Why did that friend try and force me to come out? Why did you do it then? We were on bad terms and aren’t friends anymore for unrelated reasons. I cut contact with them after they abused people around them and hacked an ex to harass me. They wanted to all of a sudden come out about this to get at me which pushed me to do it myself. 3) Why use your mental health as an excuse/explanation or bring it up? I genuinely don’t mean it to be an excuse. My depression didn’t MAKE me do anything, obviously most people with issues like me don’t do that. I’m at fault, obviously and I never wanted to deny it. I wanted to bring up the contributing factors (which is what it was) because it was relevant and provided context. I DID take things because it made me feel better (not the items themselves rather the rush of hacking itself- which debatably could be worse) and I chased that feeling because I was depressed and used it as a very bad coping mechanism. Again, doesn’t excuse it at all, doesn’t make it okay just as much as being awful to your friends because you’re depressed has no excuse but might have reasons linked to mental health. (I hope that makes sense.) I’m no longer making animal jam content, plating the game or engaging in the community and am actively seeking therapy and focusing on more art stuff (and content) instead. If you have any more questions or stuff please let me know. ❤
Thank you for trying to explain things more, yes I don't want there to be any hate here. I completely understand how hard it can be coming forward and admitting to doing something thats looked down on (especially when people will use it to say horrible things to you), I still wish it didn't have to take an ex friend for you to come forward. I hope therapy and art help you and you can move forward. 🖤❤ (I kinda just made this video to vent about the situation because the situation kinda bothered me and needed to get it out.)
Hi Hi! No hate here, I watched your video in full and I really appreciate your honesty, I wanted to answer some of your questions here for transparency.
1) Why didn’t I come out and say it right away?
Two reasons- one was the obvious, I was scared and didn’t want to get caught. I had a pretty good reputation and I didn’t want to lose everything I was proud of. I knew the community would tear me apart, and was extra scared because I had been doxxed in the past. I didn’t want to lose friends and stuff- which is totally the product of my own actions and stuff, but I was scared even tho it was my own fault.
Two was that I was very mentally unwell and could not manage that stuff at the time. The reason I’m not specific about it is because it was legal concerns regarding a family member and was actually really traumatizing and I don’t want to get into it. I was at the worst time of my life and honestly? I didn’t have the energy to put extra stuff on myself.
2) Why did that friend try and force me to come out? Why did you do it then?
We were on bad terms and aren’t friends anymore for unrelated reasons. I cut contact with them after they abused people around them and hacked an ex to harass me. They wanted to all of a sudden come out about this to get at me which pushed me to do it myself.
3) Why use your mental health as an excuse/explanation or bring it up?
I genuinely don’t mean it to be an excuse. My depression didn’t MAKE me do anything, obviously most people with issues like me don’t do that. I’m at fault, obviously and I never wanted to deny it. I wanted to bring up the contributing factors (which is what it was) because it was relevant and provided context.
I DID take things because it made me feel better (not the items themselves rather the rush of hacking itself- which debatably could be worse) and I chased that feeling because I was depressed and used it as a very bad coping mechanism. Again, doesn’t excuse it at all, doesn’t make it okay just as much as being awful to your friends because you’re depressed has no excuse but might have reasons linked to mental health. (I hope that makes sense.)
I’m no longer making animal jam content, plating the game or engaging in the community and am actively seeking therapy and focusing on more art stuff (and content) instead.
If you have any more questions or stuff please let me know. ❤
Thank you for trying to explain things more, yes I don't want there to be any hate here.
I completely understand how hard it can be coming forward and admitting to doing something thats looked down on (especially when people will use it to say horrible things to you), I still wish it didn't have to take an ex friend for you to come forward.
I hope therapy and art help you and you can move forward. 🖤❤
(I kinda just made this video to vent about the situation because the situation kinda bothered me and needed to get it out.)