Why I Love JRR Tolkien
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ธ.ค. 2023
- For more content on JRR Tolkien, check out this podcast episode: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast...
#britishculture #jrrtolkien #thelordoftherings #middleearth #england #englishliterature #fantasy #books #bookworm #culture #tradition #middleages #history #drama #thehobbit #peterjackson
I must say that you, Thomas, are the Englishest man I’ve ever seen
Quite the compliment, and quite funny given how much of my live I've lived overseas... then again, nothing makes you more English than being an Englishman abroad! 😄
😂❤
The enthusiasm was a pleasure to watch
Thank you! I love sharing about the things Iove!
I am really happy to see someone appreciating Turkish translations of Tolkien's works. There is a big community of Tolkien fans in Turkey and most of them monolingual or at the very least know very little English, yet love for Tolkien and his works are unprecedented even among them thanks to the skilled translators. Also if you can understand spoken Turkish, the original Turkish dubs of Jackson's triology are the best Turkish dubs I've ever listened so far; I can't recommend it enough honestly.
Oh wow, I shall have to get hold of them, thank you for the recommendation!
Tolkien loved England and I've heard that he felt English people needed their own central folklore or mythical, unifying story which is why he wrote LOTR (and committed so thoroughly to the background lore)
Yes, he talked about how Anglo-Saxon literature was prematurely cut off in 1066 and loved the idea of bringing back the poetical heroic epic. Elsewhere, possibly on TH-cam, is an old documentary on Tolkien narrated by Judi Dench which talks more about his private life, with interviews with his sons. Much is made of how not traditionally Shire English he was, especially as a Catholic back then, so perhaps he felt he had something to set out. Like myself, as a long time Brit abroad. I don't think I'd ever have started a podcast on "Britishness" if I hadn't spent so much of my life outside Britain!
How interesting! I should like to watch that. Thanks for the great videos. All the best@@BritishCulture
Lord of the Rings was one of the first books I ever read, along with Moby Dick and Robinson Crusoe.
It wasn't until a good 20 years later I tackled The Hobbit. Tolkien was always a bit of a hero and a national treasure to me.
Definitely a national treasure 💯
Hello, I love Tolkien's books. But I am hungarian, and not speak english, so I can't write a long comment, why. But the book is very good in hungarian, the translator was clever and perfect, and the poems are good. The Lord of the rings in Hungarian: A Gyűrűk ura. 😃
Interesting translaters from the Gyűrűk ura:
Samwise Gamgee - Csavardi Samu
Baggins - Zsákos
Isengard - Vasudvard
Merry Brandybuck - Borbak Trufiádok (Merry - Trufa)
Shelob - Banyapók
Farmer Maggot - Zsizsik gazda
Shire - Megye
Baranduin river - Borbuggyan folyó
I see you are an intelligent man, and I am happy. Thank you the video, and I hope, you like my comment, and it was interesting.
Thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely comment, especially as English is not your first language. That's so nice of you! Those translated names are interesting! Thank you again for sharing!
I have a real problem watching certain videos; I get to something like "I'm very happy to have it in this special 50th Anniversary Edition because it's a _big_ _red_ _book_", I realise exactly what the speaker is referring to and that's so damn smart and lovely I hit the Like button without even thinking, a mere thirteen seconds in, damn me.
Hey, thank you, and I'm delighted you got the reference! Cheers! 😊🥃
The liliburlello march/song was a very nice touch! Got my Catholic soul into square formation and shivering, but anyways lol.
Very well recognised! It is the intro for all my podcasts, as it is the march of REME (the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers) in the British Army, in which my father and grandfather were both Majors.
I discovered Tolkien through an odd coincidence. It was on a Friday when school had just finished, and I was a little late getting all my things together to leave. Departing, I spied a coverless, dog-eared paperback in the hallway. I brought it home, curious as to what it was. I could not believe anyone had written such a great story, and read it that weekend. I've had similar coincidences, but Tolkien was who brought me through some very lonely and tough times.
Spread the word!
I used to devour LotR when I was a kid, and it was love of that series that got me into Dungeons and Dragons. I re-read LotR for the first time in many years this year and enjoyed getting back to the series. I had forgotten how much poetry was in the series, so I'm glad you pointed that out in your video!
It is so beautifully written, and even the prose has a poetical ring to it. I often dip in, but hope I can read it cover to cover again soon.
@@BritishCulture I admit I didn't read the appendices this time, but as a kid I used to devour those too :)
I've read that Gary Gygax, the co-creator of D&D, preferred sword-and-sorcery fantasy like that written by Fritz Leiber and R. E. Howard to Tolkien's high fantasy, but I'd only read Lord of the Rings when I first bought D&D only months later, and it very much influenced how I played the game.
@@rikk319 Gary might have preferred the sword and sorcery, and we know his magic system is Vancian, but the influence of Tolkien on D&D is undeniable. Halflings were originally called hobbits until D&D got into copyright trouble over it. And the elves in D&D are certainly very much influenced by Tolkien's elves. Admittedly, D&D wizards aren't running around with Glamdring, but there's still a lot of drawing directly from LotR :)
@@SimonChambers No, I hear you--dwarves, elves, halflings, rangers, type VI demons--they all came right out of Lord of the Rings, and all the better for it. My younger brother even named some of his first characters after Tolkien's characters--Bilbo and Boromir among them. Gygax did mention that he wanted D&D to be human-centric, for some reason, because for me being something other than human was so much more fun, so I almost always ran an elf, dwarf, half-elf, or something even more exotic...D&D elves don't come close to the power and majesty of Tolkien elves, though.
Big fan of the films, I have only read The Hobbit so far though.
My daughter asked me to read it to her at bedtime, took a while but we got through it…and yes, all the Dwarfes had strong Yorkshire accents
Perfect for bedtime reading, that's what got me hooked! 😊
Omg a Tolkien fan who knows about the Turkish translations of LOTR! I grew up with those books, then picked up the English version after the first movie was released, read them twice in English. But the Turkish translations still hold a precious place in my heart as my introduction to the Tolkien world.
They are simply muhteşem 😊
I've read The Lord of the Rings 21 times - finding something new in it at every reread. Now I'm reading it again and I'm just as thrilled about as I was when I read the English original for the first time at the age of 13 after getting hooked by the Swedish edition at 12.
That is a truly stellar outfit.
Thank you very much! It's a mixture of bespoke (the waistcoat and shirt) and thrift (the brown tweed jacket and tie). I'm always on the lookout for classic items! 😊
I love that poem too! I'm a voiceover artist so a couple years ago I recorded a narration of it with all the verses from both The Hobbit and LOTR together. Quite an enjoyable little project to work on!
I think many people living in rural Britain, especially up to 3 or 4 decades ago, before things started to get built up quickly again, could look around and envisage that 'this' spot or 'this' view was what Tolkien had seen and wanted to preserve in his books when he wrote of his heroes' travels, Hobbiton, Rohan or the Elvish lands and woods.
To either watch the films or read the books is to evoke memories of what has gone for those of us old enough to remember them, and wise enough to move to those remaining pockets of unspoilt countryside before they are criss-crossed by another motorway, or are drowned by the noise of even more aircraft, farm machinery, or idiots racing around on quad bikes for 'sport.'
That is what Tolkien means for me, a remembrance of a quieter, cleaner, greener, pleasanter, less populated Britain.
However, in my view, unlike the heroes of the novel, we who lived in the real world lost to Sauron.
Absolutely, and even when Tolkien returned from the First World War, areas he knew had changed inspiring him to write The Scouring of the Shire. There are still quiet corners, but they are harder and harder to find.
I grew up in rural Australia and The Lord of the Rings was one of the first "proper" books I read. I could barely understand it but it gave me a great love of nature, and after reading a chapter or so I would wander through our nearby forest and creek and enjoy nature. The irony that a fantasy novel could give one such a love of the natural world. What a great writer! I must read it again.
I love how Tolkien's love of nature (yes, especially trees) comes through on the page. The enthusiasm is infectious!
Wow, it was an absolute pleasure to watch this video. Thanks for making it and sharing it with us!
Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it! 😊
This is a man of class. The very British definition of a Gentleman (research Gentleman culture, there's more to it than just the name itself!)
I hope you have a fine collection of quality fountain pens sir, no true Inkling is without one!
That's such a lovely comment to wake up to, thank you! If only I could reply with a photograph of my fountain pens, which are indeed in regular use!
I genuinely think it was the greatest gift of my life on a Christmas Eve at the age of 10 when I was introduced to Lord of the rings, the radio series actually first. 27 years later, and I’m still learning about the world and feel as though there is more to explore.
⌛️🥃😎
That's a wonderful way to be introduced to the world of Tolkien, and absolutely, there's always something new. It is such a joy!
True comprehension came years later, but grateful for the foundation, it built, not only for incredible literature, but the basis of the language itself
I love that in the German version of the book, the translator was in touch with Tolkien himself and doublechecked, that she would also translate the meaning and not only the words correct 👍
What an enviable experience!
Well met! I appreciate your look, words and the whole video in general. Hello from Finland 😎
Thank you so much, and I don't doubt you're aware Tolkien had a great interest in the Finnish language!
We had The Hobbit read to us by a teacher at ten in the early Sixties. When I was thirteen a friend told me of our current school library having another book by the same author. I must have read it at least five times from there and my public library.
I was very impressed by the linguistic content of the Appendices. Things like the relatedness of voiced and unvoiced letters such as b, p: d, t; g, k were a revelation to me, and sparked a lifelong receptiveness to languages and scripts.
His poetry was also impressive to me. I sensed the underlying roots of my own vocabulary of a New Zealand version of English.
I discovered Tolkien through an odd coincidence. It was on a Friday when school had just finished, and I was a little late getting all my things together to leave. Departing, I spied a coverless, dog-eared paperback in the hallway. I brought it home, curious as to what it was. I could not believe anyone had written such a great story, and read it that weekend. I've had similar coincidences, but Tolkien was who brought me through some very lonely and tough times. I loved the Lord o' the Rings even more, although the Hobbit seemed to carry more of a story in a shorter space. I loved the languages he came up with for the Elves and Faerie folk. My best friend liked CS Lewis (of course).
@@davidm1149 Nice stoty. I also read C.S. Lewis, even his "Sci-Fi" Perelandra. But I went off him when I realised the extent of his religious bent.
@@flamencoprofthat is hilarious, because he was an Athiest until he met Tolkien; a devout catholic. All of this work has a "religious bent" as most of the best stories and storytellers tend to. The Lord of the Rings is literally about the rejection of sin. You fool 😂
@@ryanparker4996 Perhaps I should have said Lewis seemed to me more overtly christian in his writing. I have known Tolkien was catholic since the Seventies, at least. In LOTR Tolkein mines Indo-European/Norse mythology. He's not trying to spread Christianity per se.
@@flamencoprof No, Tolkien wrote LoTR as a mythology for the English, who were at the time Christians, and he expects that you've already read the Bible, and understand the morality. I always find it so funny when Athiests love LoTR. Theres another book you might like, you know
Perfidious Albion...
Top notch content. Subscribed...
I love Prof Tolkien because his writings were my beacon to find my way out of my inner darkness. I'll defend his work, for it's worth to die for.
Thank you so much, and I am glad to hear that Tolkien's work has been so positive for you. It's great to reach out and find more people who appreciate his wonderful writing. Best wishes, Thomas 😊
I really, really love you ❤. You're enthusiasm is so uplifting! Thankyou for this, keep on talking about Tolkien.
Thank you! It has been some time since I recorded a video, but comments like this very much encourage me to set time aside to make more. Thank you again!
Tolkien is an inspirational man, and his works I too treasure and appreciate immensely. His way of telling stories were reminiscent to how I heard stories growing up, the songs and poems as well I absolutely love. He inspired me to take up writing my own stories and I began to understand and appreciate the power words have, the intricacies and vastness of languages, and the appealing nature of songs, both a simple jig, or a chorus of music. As a fellow Catholic too, I greatly appreciate how his deep faith influenced his work, as it had with mine as well in both art and writing.
Wonderful video, Sir! 👏Thank you for sharing your appreciation for Tolkien!
How wonderful! Thank you for sharing your story and experience. It certainly is interesting how many Catholics connect with him especially on faith. 😊
I'm not a big reader but of the handful of books I've read outside of school The Hobbit is among my favorites. Love the movies of course, the extended versions are the only ones I watch now.
That's wonderful to hear! 😊
I love how you go in depth with this subject and really take the time to appreciate Tolkien’s work. I actually started to read lotr again as the last time I read it was freshman year of high school. I didn’t understand it then but re-reading it makes me appreciate even more of Tolkien’s work. I also appreciate how genuinely enthusiastic you are! It’s always great when you find content from somebody who very clearly is dedicated to the subject and presents it in an awesome way! Keep doing what you love and be great at it!
Thank you so much! I find every time I go back to The Lord of the Rings, I find something new, understand more, and can appreciate the world better. It's such a rich tapestry, and I am happy to share my love of it here! 😊
I love your outfit
Thank you! Pleasingly, the tweed jacket was a find in a charity shop, whilst the linen waistcoat was bespoke from my tailor. I used to live in Shenzhen, China, and had many pieces made.
D'accord. Cheers from rainy Vienna, Scott
Cheers from Yorkshire! ~ Thomas 😊
One author I would like to recommend is Sir H. Rider Haggard, on the grounds that he was one of the few influences Tolkien explicitly acknowledged in his work. Among Haggard's works are two pastiches of the Icelandic sagas: "Eric Brighteyes" and "The Wanderer's Necklace," which Tolkien must have liked.
Then there is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who wrote the chivalric medieval romances called "Sir Nigel" and "The White Company."
Recommendations well received, thank you!
I was randomly browsing on TH-cam, but I never expected to come across the Turkish version ofLotR on the throne, so surprising! By the way, the Turkish translator's name is Çiğdem Erkal, and the poet translator is Bülent Somay.
Oh, that's wonderful, thank you! I rarely find someone else to chat about Turkish translations with! My email is always there: AlbionNeverDies@Gmail.com
pleasure to watch!
Thank you, it's genuinely a pleasure to create these, and then all the nicer to share them with others who appreciate them! 😊
I need more than 6 minutes to explain it. I love the world, the setting, the prose... And it easily becomes an hour long rant as I attempt to explain why I love Tolkien as much as a I do.
In my opinion, his peer is Shakespeare, not modern fantasy authors. One of the greatest authors in all of literature. His work is not just good, it is important.
I absolutely agree, do check out my 30 minute podcast episode for more on why I also enjoy it! T is for Tolkien!
I really enjoyed this video! Thank you!
Thank you for taking the time to leave such a lovely comment! 😊
A joy to watch 😊 curious if you could share a link to the Red copy of LOTR you are holding? 🙏
Thank you! Hi, this version was published by Harper Collins in 2004. The original dust jacket was black with a gold design, and a little red. It is only without the dust jacket that you have this red cover, which I prefer. So, copies you see online might be correct, but not show what's underneath. Hope that helps? I'd share a link but they go obsolete so quickly!
Also a fan of Tolkien. Watch a couple of your vids, and decided to subscribe.
That's lovely to hear, thank you! I don't have a regular schedule for these, I have a weekly podcast, and I upload videos when I have something I really want to show visually and can show it as I wish. So, expect a new video at some point, but and let me know what you like as I do requests!
Last month for my birthday, my wife gave me the recent edition of The Lord of the Rings (here in the U.S.) that has colorized versions of Tolkien's original artwork. Finally starting it this evening
What a wonderful gift! 😊
“And amid all the splendours of the World, its vast halls and spaces, and its wheeling fires, Ilúvatar chose a place for their habitation in the Deeps of Time and in the midst of the innumerable stars.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion
The Silmarillion is a wonderful read, I first experienced it through the audio book read by Martin Shaw. Magnificent.
Sir, you have a new subscriber! (^-^)
Since you mentioned the Turkish translation of the book - as a Japanese Studies graduate myself I've been thinking whether to actually give the Japanese translation a try. I wonder how they've made the poetry work in Japanese.
I think it's always great to find the thing you love in your second or third language. 20 years ago, I was reading Star Wars in Turkish, and later it proved surprisingly useful when reading Ottoman history, as the translators had used many of the medieval terms for Lucas' world. It made sense it retrospect, although I hadn't planned the exercise to be useful.
Beautifully English.
Thank you! 😃
Awesome video
Thank you, O Matt! 😊
могу с уверенностью сказать, что русская версия стихотворений и песен во "Властелине Колец" переведена отлично. Рифма, ритм и строй стиха сохранены и локализованы
amazing video friend
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I onced lived in the same street in Oxford as Tolkein, Sandfield Road in Headington, I was led to believe that he based his books on places in Oxford, Risinghurst and Barton, I thought Bilbo Baggins was based on a tramp in Risinghurst, maybe just hearsay ?
Hi, I've been looking into this! I don't doubt that many places Tolkien lived and worked in will have influenced him, including the West Midlands, Oxford, and even Leeds. I always feel limited for time in these videos, and give a bit more info on the podcast. However, the greater influence for The Shire specifically is generally thought to be Worcestershire. I am not sure about the tramp story, it is new to me. Local legends often abound about historic figures, in the West Midlands it is often claimed that William Shakespeare was caught poaching, or that his father was, but I'm not sure there's much evidence for that. Still, they can prove interesting, and who knows whatever evidence may arise.
You have to tell me where you found that tree in the thumbnail photo!
I looked everywhere for it last time I was in Oxford, but couldn't find it...
I must admit, this tree isn't in Oxford! I saw the tree when out and about in Howarth, and my wife took the photo. It happened that I was wearing a similar outfit to Tolkien's in this photo.
Hello, Thomas. What is this lovely music called playing in the background? Thank you.
Hi there, I'm glad you like the music, as it's me playing the flute!
Most of the music from this video is my interpretation of tracks from the BBC Radio 4 adaptation of The Lord of the Rings (1981) which had some magnificent music by Stephen Oliver. I also play music based on the soundtrack to the more recent Peter Jackson films composed by Howard Shore.
Again, thank you and I'm glad you noticed and enjoyed it!
Fantastic, thank you. @@BritishCulture
A very nice video by a well spoken gentlehobbit.
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. 😊
may i ask which version exactly is this red book? the 50th versions covers are not right, can't find anything on the internet
Hi, this version was published by Harper Collins in 2004. The original dust jacket was black with a gold design, and a little red. It is only without the dust jacket that you have this red cover, which I prefer. So, copies you see online might be correct, but not show what's underneath. Hope that helps?
@@BritishCulture wow thanks, it's just hidden in plain sight:)
We are converting to traditional Catholicism with this one lads
Not the original intention, but I've certainly nothing against this result!
One children's book? Farmer Giles of Ham? Smith of Wootton Major?
True, but not available at my local library growing up, no internet ordering back then!
Understood I have reprints of the original copies of the hobbit and Lord of Rings in leather back. Along with book of lost tales and Silmarillian. Couldn't quite comprehend nor link the Lord of the rings characters to. But I admire how everything had a personality. I also hold grudge that Sting was not the only glowy sword. Gandalf and Thorin lead Bilbo and the dwarves with the shine from their swords. Glamding igniting with blue flame from sticking down the goblin king.
I love Smith of Wootton Major, it's a brilliant story with many layers to it.
Do you know the Finnish Kalevala? A young Tolkien was very influenced by it.
Long on my reading list, but I haven't yet gotten to it. Is there a particular translation you'd recommend? 😊
@@BritishCulture 40+ years ago I first read John Crawford's translation of the Kalevala, the first in English (1880s), public domain reproductions are readily available. The one I think a young Tolkien first read with the TCBS was by W.F. Kirby, it came out in 1907.
One feature of the Crawford and Kirby translations is that they reproduce the eight-syllables-per-line meter that appears in the original Finnish, which I find quite powerful and hypnotic. Many of Tolkien's poems follow this meter, see the magical struggle between Finrod and Sauron in the Tale of Beren and Luthien.
A more academic translation is by Francis Magoun, it does not reproduce the original meter.
I suspect that the Kalevala inspired Tolkien's desire for a British mythology. In the 1840s Finnish doctor Elias Lonnrot traveled around Finland collecting old songs, whose oral tradition was in danger of dying out. After collecting a few hundred of them he noticed that the same characters kept re-appearing, dominated by a semi-divine wizard named Vainamoinen. Lonnrot then assembled them into a particular order, beginning with a creation story and ending when wizard Vainamoinen sails away (seems I've heard a similar story somewhere. . . ).
The Kalevala became a Finnish cultural icon, helping strengthen their national identity in the face of Russian domination. I have gotten to know a few Finns (never been to Finland though), and they all know it. Some 115 years ago Tolkien came to want a similar tradition for Britain. You probably already know that the Kalevala's Tale of Kullervo was the inspiration for the tragedy of Turin Turambar.
Tolkien actually wrote multiple children's books alongside "The Hobbit" -- "Letters From Father Christmas," "Roverandom," and a few others. None of these are as good as "The Hobbit," though.
Isn’t the original LOTR animated movie considered lost media?
I have a copy, so not entirely lost!
5:49 I know it by heart, but I have one problem with your reading.
You should have sung it, Sir!
When you march with a staff on the Camino de Santiago, you tend to get a nice four beat rhythm, and just the day before getting up to O Cebreiro (El Cebrero in the other language of the region, the less regional one), I had a melody for this one.
Haha, I considered it, but as someone with classical musical training, I know how appalling my voice is these days, so I decided to spare you the horror! 😄
@@BritishCulture Oh, sorry.
My voice has also gone down since those days. I didn't know it was your case too.
No worries,@@hglundahl I'm just very out of practice!
I really love 'I sit beside the fire and think' and made up a little tune for it 🙂 there is a group called Clamavi De Profundus which does amazing musical renditions of Tolkien's poems, the Lament for the Rohirrim is incredibly beautiful.
@@joannemoore3976 I think I have heard their rendering of "Far over the Misty Mountains cold" and I love it.
smoke some longbottom leaf and watch ralph bakshi pls
Hahaha, I think it's surreal enough not to require anything else! 😄
American here, why pronounce wostershire (sp) like this, but say Shire like where the hobbits live differently
Good question, because in Worcestershire, we are stressing the shire's name, so reducing the stress on the latter syllable. Whereas, with 'The' Shire, there is nothing else to draw the emphasis, so no reduction. 😊
@@BritishCulture fascinating, thank you!
HEY!!! .....GOD BLESS YOU,BRITISH CULTURE!!! ......I REALLY LOVE THE MOVIES OF LORD OF THE RINGS AND THE HOBBIT!!! ......I WILL WISH PETER JACKSON WOULD MAKE ONE MOVIE OF TOM BOMBADIL!!! .....NOW....TO THE WHAT REALLY MATTERS......AND THIS IS FOR YOU,AND ME ALL WHO READS......JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE DOES!!! GIVE YOUR LIFE TO JESUS CHRIST TODAY....FOR HE ONLY WANTS TO DO GOOD TO YOU. DO NOT GIVE YOUR BACK ON HIM!! AND ACCEPT HIM AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR TODAY.
THANK YOU!
This guy would get on his kness n go to work on tolken.
0:19 If it's in a Big Red Book, shouldn't it include Seven Books, starting with The Hobbit?
The Seven Chronicles of the Hobbits ....
The love for Tolkien shows the love for Catholicism that runs through our veins as Englishmen
That is an interesting perspective, and yes, I have a great deal of respect for the Catholic Church.
You have 666 subscribers. How quaint.
Haha, a number with very different meanings in different cultures!
The REAL England and English heritage before the invasion of post-2000s politics.......
It is absolutely important to value our past, our heritage, as we move ever forwards.
That was rather basic. A history like having read the Hobbit as a kid is pretty standard and not very interesting. I guess the main takeaway is that you love the poems and also what inspired the TLotR.
If you'd like something more in depth, I suggest you check out a documentary called "JRR TOLKIEN '1892-1973' - A Study Of The Maker Of Middle-earth". It's narrated by Judi Dench and very informative. I think it's still on TH-cam. 😊
"Albion Never Dies" ... I hope not ... but it doesn't look like it's going to survive, does it? People of Britain, it's time to decide - what do you want? To be viewed as a virtuous and kind individual, opening your borders to whatever amount of complete foreigners flooding your lands ... or do you want to retain your own unique culture, heritage and be a real people?
Tokien is old fashioned. Therefore, not cool.
We all get that way in the end 😄
Cool is a fad…it doesn’t last. Old fashioned does last. I’ll take old fashioned everyday.
why do you lie? because you are the only one who doesnt see your lies? or you claim it atleast ... but you dont want them, so you push them to others, but i dont want them, too, because i think they are toxic for me, too ...