Episode 1: We're in a Throuple
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- This episode is a vulnerable, honest conversation about our new relationship. We recorded this to honor our commitment to authenticity and transparency with our community and the world at large. We are here to normalize new and difficult conversations. To speak consciously and bravely. We hope you’ll listen with an open heart + mind.
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I love the fact you're opening up a safe, thoughtful, conscious way of talking about these things. It's inspiring. Wish you all the best.
Wow. I’m moved to tears. This is beautiful and communicated beautifully. Jenna you are the epitome of courage for telling your truth and you both are going to help so many other people bravely step into who they are authentically.
Thank you so much for the support.
I’m happy for you but know absolutely that I could not do this. I don’t have the strength or emotional bandwidth to cope with this. It would always feel like betrayal. And does that mean I’m not my “authentic self”? Does it mean I’m not “healed”?
No, not at all. These kind of relationships are very hard to maintain, because there is something called ego and personal boundaries.
I appreciate you being transparent about your personal life and I believe everybody should be able to do whatever they want as long as everyone included wants it too. However, this does not sound and feel like a throuple. Or what you mean it to be. Jenna opened up to YOU about her feelings. Not to Lolly alone or you and lolly together. This alone shows something is not in alignment with your announcement here. This sounds not like “authenticity” bur more like “convenience”. This sounds like Jenna was in love with you as a guide and you were in a long relationship, facing a new thrill. Lolly here just sounds like an extra. I certainly don’t mean to judge and I could easily scroll down saying “meh whatever” but I did not want to. I read your work and listen to the master class podcasts and I have hope in you. This stimulates me. This raises questions in my mind. So, I hope you can all live as however you’d like but please reconsider explaining the dynamics of this relationship.
Yes exactly!
Hi there-- Lolly here. I'm definitely not an extra here and am really grateful for the new dynamic we are all in. Not everything can be discussed in one episode, and I am a private person who has chosen to not take part, so I understand where there can be some confusion. We are in full alignment with our true nature and true feelings and I truly appreciate the dialogue here.
It felt like a bit of a surprise/non-surprise to me which feels so authentic - thank you for your transparency. 💕 There was a hint by Dr Nicole earlier about the 'personal and professional' relationship with Jena. Love how this will give you guys so much to work with and looking forward to learning about my relationship with myself from your sharing. My husband is so happy with the positive changes in our own marriage. Also, secretly super happy to be in Australia and thus one of your first commenters! ❤💕💖
Thank you for sharing your story! I am also in a poly relationship with two ladies who are the absolute light of my life. I have been with one partner for almost a decade, and we have been with our other partner for going on a year now. Every one of us that lives open, and loudly happy makes a difference. Wishing you all the happiness.
What a blessing you all are to the world, so real , so compassionate and dedicated to helping everyone heal and raise to a high level of consciousness that you felt you needed to make everyone else prepared to hear you speak your authentic selves. Honestly, it’s love and that’s all that matters. I am sincerely happy for you and wish you a continued beautiful life of love and expression together. 🙏🏻🙏🏻✨✨💕💕🌈🌈
Thank you so, so much!
God bless you all. Your IG has helped me so much I can't wait to listen to all your podcasts
I could really sense something in the last episode of the masterclass but I didn’t want to make assumptions. So happy for you guys and this has really shown me some of my mental blocks in relationship as well that’s really going to help me develop and grow authentically.
Jenna - “this isn’t the throuples show” 😂
Thank you, all three of you - Nicole; Lolly and Jenna, for your dedication and commitment to being your most authentic self. Thank you for your vulnerability and real, raw honesty in sharing with us. This episode has widened my knowledge and understanding with regards relationships, for that I am so grateful. Just 46 months ago I walked away from a lifetime (I have travelled 43 times around the sun) of being in church, primarily because I had known for years that being in church was not in alignment with who I am - And as a mamma, I did not want my kids to learn the religious ways of living. Each day I am trying to connect with my most authentic self and so teach my kids a different way, hearing this conversation feels so awesome. I don't have the words to articulate what I am trying to say but Thank You 🤗 😘 ✨ 💖
Had a huge epiphany seeing your post on Facebook today! Very grateful for how you show up and bring your deepest experiences to us.. Jenna opening that conversation amazed me🙏🏻
So glad to hear this conversation. I really think Lolly's participation would have added more clarity to the event. There are so many logistics involved in building a couple relationship that we need to discuss those issues which arise when a third person is added to that couple in an equal and intimate manner. I'm curious to hearing a discussion about the issues which arise in multiple gender throuples where 2 men and one woman or 2 women and one man, as contrasted to the dynamics of three same gendered throuples. Looking forward to future podcasts.
In reading my comment I appreciate that this segment without Lolly adds emphasis to the notion of the silent partner, the various combinations of intro/extrovert personality types? Or the dominant/submissive egos and how they address conflict/issues differently.
We really appreciate your feecback!
Factor yourself in. This point resonates so much with me right now 💜💫 Thank you for sharing this truthful and authentic conversation with us 💟
For now It seems to make sense to me because all 3 women involved are in love with each other...but What happens if one of you falls in love with another person that is outside of the current throuple? Would she have to be "removed" from the throuple? Can a throuple be "open"? Like say Lolly meets a wonderful man/woman/trans person and wants to be with them, would she be allowed to date that person while still being in a relationship with Nicole and Jenna?
Very cool you’ve been so transparent about your unique relationship. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad I found your channel.🌿
LOVE! This is absolutely amazing. I have been following you for a while now ( when you only had a few thousand followers on IG) I am so glad I found you ( I can't express how much you have helped me and continue to do so ) and with you sharing this information you are now going to get to help EVEN MORE people! How exciting. The love both you and Jenna have in your eyes for eachother is so apparent, ESPECIALLY the videos of you breathing/regulating breathing together , I could literally FEEL the love through that video. I am so happy for you, Jenna and Lolly
All three of you are brave, given that people are still trying to wrap their tiny brains around gay. I haven't been in this type of relationship, but I have been friends with people who were, and their relationship structure didn't last, mostly because two people ultimately paired up in exclusion of the other. I'll be interested to know how it goes for you over time. Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying if you all don't last forever it's a failure, nor do believe any relationship, no matter the configuration, sex, gender expression, typical or taboo, is destined to last forever, I appreciate your ability to be honest and vulnerable and absolutely own your lives. I would be so lucky to have two women love me, but I would settle for one.
I love you 3!! Thank you for your courage and authenticity, the medicines that the world needs so badly right now. Your new relationship arrangement looks so natural and fluid to me. I can relate a lot to your emotional arrangement since I was in a similar one more than once! Not easy but we didn’t come to this world to go for the easy stuff but for the authentic and beautiful one! Much love
It’s interesting to see so many people are positively accepting this dynamic? I wonder if it’s because it involves 3 women that all love each other? It seems like if this was a traditional dynamic with a married man and woman, and a man or woman outside the marriage expressed their feelings towards one or both of the married individuals, then people would have a lot more negative things to say? And as long as we are living in our truth then we can interject ourselves into other people’s marriages? I don’t know….. definitely a lot to take in here.
So thrilled to have been here to witness such authenticity which invites all of your viewers to step more fully into our own authenticity! You are all beautiful human beings and so happy to share in your journey❤❤❤
Congratulations ladies. Love seeing the smiles and happiness new relationships bring for all of us. Thank you for being so candid and honest.
So so brave❤❤❤ jenna opening such a hard conversation is so inspiring. I love this! This is new, but you only judge the new when you don't try to understand. Thank you for sharing your story with us and trusting us
I love your podcast and all 3 of you💓💓💓
Thank you for helping the world heal🙏❤️🙏
Thank you so much for your openness and sharing this!
As you said you are welcoming questions, I wanted to ask whether you have any advice for people who come from a background of codependency and fear of abandonment when their partner wants to open up the relationship in any way?
I am so grateful for your work!
Everyone in your relationship live with alignment with love, communication and honesty. Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you for sharing your story and authenticity ♥️ I wish you all the happiness and love in the world together 🙏🏼
I believe your three souls came together as a spiritual partnership and wasn’t coincidental ♥️
Love and power to all 3 of you! Kudos to living your truth and literally being unapologetically you!!!!
Love this, thank you for being the authentic you
Thank you so much for taking the brave step of sharing your journey. It's so nice to see people live their truths. It gives me so much hope to see more poly/non-monogamous people out there.
Wow, thank you for being so open and vulnerable about your truths and experiences.
Here for the love♥️
Coming from a family and culture who practice polygamy. I have never, and I mean never seen a healthy relationship come out of any relationship more than a dyad. I think this works for those who don’t have to confuse their children with this heartache and pain of being in a relationship ship another than your mom. Especially being lesbians in a throuple relationship assuming no children. Those who have never suffered the hands of polygamy would never understand how it impacts children and each partner. This sort of relationship occurrence is typically seen as past life karmic or other spiritual factors beyond our understanding in this life. I am compelled to say this, as this may work for each and one of you, there are more consequences underlying that is beyond your awareness. One may experience their desires without knowing the impact. Hopefully we can make decisions that does not cause harm to those who will have to carry the torch. Especially with this large of a community follower. Everything said with love for the future and from a child who witnessed this type of relationship personally and in her community currently.
What did you witness?
I was listening this on Spotify, but because I couldn't comment there, I came here. Girls...I am awestruck wit this sharing. It takes so much courage and authenticity to do what you just did and it's so inspiring! I didn't finished the video, almost there, but my daughters just arrived from school, so I will come back here later. Congratulations, for so much you all have achieved inside out!💜💜💜
This was beautifull
I really enjoyed this episode. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing Dr. Nicole and Jenna. I appreciate the honesty. I have forwarded it to my partner! Thank you for explaining the concept of interdependence and living in alignment with our individual truth and cultivating a sense of detachment from our partner's own journey. Thank you
Are you all still together? It’s now July 2022
I'm conflicted about my comment, but just as you chose to publicize your truth I'm going to do the same in the hopes of finding a healthier perspective.
I'm a supporter of yours despite different values. However I'm challenged by the throuple announcement and would like some help in attaining a perspective that can defuse my concerns. Specifically:
1. Not judging this at all, does sharing this much of your personal life not risk hindering the greater value of your work? Doesn't it just end up making the work about you, rather than the work itself? Won't it alienate people who you could help?
2. A relationship announcement feels immature and attention seeking. I'd feel the same way about a straight couple who was over 25 (actual adults). Am I wrong?
3. I can't help but feel that this will end badly for one of you. Lolly not being here made me feel like she's going to be the third wheel. Especially since the core of this is about Jenna's draw to you and your work. It also feels like a rationale for Nicole pursuing a new lover. 😞
4. If Nicole was a man I would view this with nothing but contempt. How do I create the ethical and logical distinction in my mind?
Again, sharing the truth I feel as a result of this video and the IG announcement and looking for some answers and perspective. I've purchased your book and taken deep value from it and I don't want to lose the connection to your work.
I think you might find looking up polyamory helpful. It can be deeply ethical, meaningful and loving and can absolutely work regardless of gender.
As for the overlap of private life and work - I think I understand your point, but because a lot of Nicole's work is deeply personal and based on her life experiences, this seems to make a lot of sense to share. It is a big shift that likely informs and will inform her work. I also personally deeply appreciate it as someone who spent most of my life hiding my polyamory from the eyes even of my friends and family. It is not a very widely accepted or talked about relationship model (as your comment shows, which is understandable!) so I am really grateful for this "coming out", as are other people in the comments. It is a non traditional relationship style that is very much worth talking about nowadays, I think.
@@GallifreyanCat All very fair points, indeed, regarding polyamory--I'm not educated enough on this to say anything other than that I accept it (even though I've always seen it as an excuse for male infidelity). I don't know. I still feel, for me, that this is akin to Sigmund Freud launching a cigar smoking channel. It seems like a (frivolous?) distraction from something much larger. With that said, your point about Nicole's work coming from such a personal place is also noted...
Great dialogue here (edited to add ....nit just between Jenna and Nicole but more importantly between J F and GallifreyanCat). Very compassionate and self governing......thank you. It gives me great hope for humanity. ❤️
Just going to share my personal perspective to see if this may help you work through your thoughts…
1. Sharing anything about your personal life can hinder your work because not everyone will like or agree with your thoughts/beliefs/choices/etc. I don’t feel that it impacts the VALUE of the work, however. It only impacts people’s perceptions of and feelings about that person, which may then impact the feelings people have about the work. If you can separate these 2 things, you can give yourself more peace about taking personal value from the person’s work regardless of your feelings about them.
2. I see how this would seem “attention seeking” if it were a heterosexual monogamous couple, because we often assume everyone is heterosexual and monogamous. We assume this because it’s what we see most, so we know what this looks like and what it means, and we use this to shape our understanding of that person. So anything other than a 1 man 1 woman couple is something to “announce.” Now some people might say there’s no reason to say anything about your relationship(s) or sexuality at all, but when you allow others assume you are straight and/or monogamous, you feel the weight of that and it becomes something you have to hide or something you try to avoid talking about. This, in turn, prevents you from living your life authentically. Their announcement is more about living their lives authentically than it is about announcing their relationship.
3. It may end badly, but any relationship can end badly. Any time you enter into any relationship (intimate or not), you risk a bad ending, but you also take a chance at finding love and connection.
At the end of the day, it sounds like they are all willing participants in the relationship and therefore are willing to accept the risk that comes with it.
I agree that having Lolly present would have been beneficial to the overall conversation, but it sounds like she’s an equal partner, not a “third wheel.” No need to feel sympathy if you change your perspective on the relationship.
4. If it’s okay for 3 women to be in a relationship, why would it be different if a man was involved? As long as everyone understands and accepts the terms of the relationship, there isn’t a problem.
The only thing that may change this is the natural change in the power dynamic born of patriarchy and misogyny which run strong in most cultures and would therefore change the power dynamic within the relationship. But even so, it’s not necessary to draw any logical or ethical conclusions about someone else’s relationship. It’s possible to take the information for what it is and let it be. If you can do that, then there isn’t anything to “figure out.” Just enjoy the work and it’s value for how it has helped you and let go of the weight you feel regarding your view of the lifestyle of the person that created it.
Much love.
What a beautiful conversation so open and so honest. I strive for this level of connection to another human being…or two lol ❤
Plot twist! And I’m here for it! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Kudos to you ladies for living and loving and speaking your truth.
Love you ladies and am getting so much goodness from your podcasts and fb posts!!!! Thank you for doing the work and sharing your truths!!!
Speaking to me about authentic relationships with others! Thankyou guys so much for being so honest and your courage and freedom and love, just gives me strength for my own future, how ever it will flow, forever ❤️🔥🙏🏽✨
The self healer circle sounds amazing. I cant wait to join one. I am just coming out of my total breakdown, spiritual awakening. Really sat me on my butt. My body basically completely gave out on me. I'm still getting my body back in balance. And i dont have a safe place to talk to anyone about everything I'm working through or trying to aim for.
Your courage to be transparent and authentic is an inspiration. I know it's not easy and there will be challenges along the way especially since there is such a public and exposing aspect of your work but you have each other. Love, Love, Love is always the answer.
I applaud your courage to be authentic and honor yourselves.
Thank you to all three of you being so publicly vulnerable & sharing your truths! I appreciate you so much on my healing journey! ❤️❤️
I love you guys. thank you so much. this is incredible for poly representation too, my heart is full
Congrats ❤️ These are such valuable conversations. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for you're beautiful, vulnerable talk. I feel encouraged!
You both are beautiful souls and a healing light for me.
Thanks for sharing and teaching us how to be honest with no fears 💖
A new book 😍 already can’t wait! Sending much love to you all ❤️
Is this circle available for others ?
I’d love to have a good true friend and to find a partner.😪
To be able to be myself without being told who or what is ok.
I’ve never been so dam LONEY ALONE in my life.
I loathe this space of silence in my heart.
First time in my life I’ve been in this situation..
I really wish you were over here .. or people like u all.
Instead it’s me and the dog..
It’s sad to the point of wanting to end this life .. Not one person from my past ,before I became unstable with MH .. has called or anything.
To find new people is a dream.. but they are all so sheltered and box life.
I’m Niree .B I’m so alone and stuck.
If ur out there reading this.. can you find me please..
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍 chakras hearts (whatever gender/sexual preference, I don't care, what matters for you is important and I respect it) to thank you for your authenticity that inspires me and help me in my healing/spiritual journey.
Honesty, trust, love, vulnerability, fear, courage, unknown territory, redesigning relationships, WOW! I love all of this. This helps me in designing or being open to something different then I have ever experience, (one on one :) Thank you for showing us how to speak our truths. I am happy for you it is working for you. The fact you both can be so authentic to the world is amazing!
2.5mins in and I am Lolly with that pusher vibe lol. It’s not really on purpose there’s just a tendency to break people open because we break ourselves open constantly. My husband and I began w a trauma bond. For 12 years it’s been intense and we have been thru so much push and pull and passing ships. Today we are closer and discovering outside needs or wants to grow the relationship. Many of our friends are doing the same within a throuple. My intuition is that the universe is beginning to reorder from a dualistic sacred geometry to a triune geometry and we are seeing this manifest quite boldly into relationships!! Because, we’re human and what else would it be first lol🤍 tons of love and blessings to you brilliant women!
Thank you
3 income household!! We’re here for it ❤️
Beautiful presentation. We called ours a Triad.
It's great to see some new dynamic. 😁
Something that really resonated with me through this was element of jealously and how I’d ‘handle’/ embrace this as i want to add a new dynamic into our relationship in the future (probably more as an experience, not full commitment unless that’s what feels right) but any advice around that topic/ words discussed or used to reassure yourselves (from your experience) or how you witnessed those feels of jealousy even when in a safe space with both other people and how you moved forward or let them go and enjoyed everything… would be amazing 🙏🏽💓 Might even be in your next book xoxox
Look into the concepts of compersion/mudita/freudenfreud - joy for another's joy. I can be envious "I want that." and still experience joy for the other person enjoying themselves and being themself. It's not about me. I think practicing healthy boundaries and connecting communication/listening skills are the actions and behaviors we can do to build secure attachment with each other. You might like Susan David's Emotional Agility and Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication.
You are so beautiful people 💓💕💓
Could sense the bonding earlier. 😊
So transparent 👏🏽
Wow. ❤️😊
Wishing you girls all the love and happiness.. Society was the one who decided a relationship should be 2 people.. This is why you may get a backlash.. Triggers be flying high 🤣🏳️🌈
So basically you just do whatever feels good. Where is the commitment to your first partner? How many people can be added to this relationship? I lost so much respect for you.
Is it less valid her experience and her wisdom because she has sex with 2 people???? does it matter with whom she shares her body and her life??? why do you think you have a saying in this, or that your opinion matters
Hi there--Lolly here. Nicole has been nothing but committed to not only me but to herself in this process. While I understand you've lost respect, for us we are building something beautiful that works for each of us. I wish the same for you.
I think the problem here that people think that one can commit only at most to one person...
@@danyelicamata6963 her opinion matters because they are a business (about wellbeing) and she is a consumer🙄 it doesn't reflect good psychological health or a healthy life/lifestyle/character. They are lost
@@janedoe3648 so gay people shouldn't be health care providers??
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Unpopular opinion: If you ladies had kids, your perspectives would shift.
♡♡♡
I find it interesting that a few episodes back I can't remember which one Jenna mentioned being in a new relationship & I thought it felt odd that it wasn't with you. So I think this is great to hear because I could sense it before. Thank you for being so honest and open. I wish you great success on your journey.
Thank you so much
😊
How could you not be in love, total alignment, kindred spirit and soul mate(s) 💗
Your vulnerability and honesty is so honorable and integrous. You ladies rock!
If this works for all three of you then go for it 😉. I find it intriguing as well, but that’s the male in me speaking 😂. Wish you 3 the best.
I Wanna join with you guys for a 4 person commited relationship ;)