Annoying Things Cis People Do feat. TAYLOR BEHNKE // Ask a Trans Guy #2
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- Taylor Behnke (ItsRadishTime) and I sat down together for the second episode of #AskATransGuy. Taylor asked me about what to do when a stranger misgenders your trans friend, what things transgender people can say that cisgender people can't, and about the most annoying things "woke" cisgender "allies" do. We also talked about race and how white people can be better allies.
Watch the video we shot on Taylor's channel about my personal mythology of being a reader: • What makes a good read...
Subscribe to Taylor / itsradishtime
The black trans women we mentioned. Go follow them!
MJ Rodriguez from Pose / mjrodriguez7
Aaryn Lang from PBS First Person / aarynnlang
Elle Hearns from the Marsha P. Johnson Institute / soulfreedreams
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More videos I think you'll like:
→ Are Nonbinary People Trans Enough? feat. Grace Hardell
• Are Nonbinary People T...
→ Ask a Trans Guy, Episode Two w/ Taylor Behnke
• Annoying Things Cis Pe...
→ My Ten Year High School Reunion
• My Ten Year High Schoo...
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→ transmissionpod...
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Jackson Bird
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👋 I'm Jackson Bird and I make (hopefully) funny, (sometimes) educational videos for LGBTQ+ nerds like me - and the people in our lives that want to understand us better.
Here on JACKISNOTABIRD, you can find new videos every Wednesday afternoon sharing my experiences as a bisexual trans guy, answering questions about LGBTQ+ issues, and sometimes showing what happens when you put weird stuff on a waffle iron.
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*Who are your favorite trans influencers of color?* I’ll start with some of mine!
Tiq Milan
Marquise Vilsón
Chella Man
Tyler Ford
Meredith Talusan
Laith Ashley
Aaron Philip
Alok Vaid-Menon
Gwen Benaway
Monica Roberts (transgriot)
Schuyler Bailar (pinkmantaray)
Vivek Shraya! Her poetry book "even this page is white" is one of my favorites.
Check out BlackTransTV they make great vids!
@sassy_latte on IG & Patreon is a Black, non-binary femme whose content I really appreciate. And I second the Ericka & Ebony recommendation.
Julie Vu!!!!!
QueerAsKat is a good nonbinary transmasc creator.
What my friend does when someone misgenders him is he goes "Ladies? I knew I had baby face but I didn't realize it was that bad!" Because then it comes off as a joke, you don't have to out yourself, it makes it lighter on both ends, and also saying "I'm a boy!" Just sounds unnatural and can out someone. Just a small tip from my friend to any other transguys.
Oh my god that is genius tysm im using this now lol
Tysm this is genius
+ Genius
You.are.a.genius.
This is genius and I’m useing it 😆👌
My Grandson is trans. He started the change in High School. When my daughter told me. I paused for a bit and then said “I don’t care. Just as long as sh.....he’s sure.” So I went about changing a few things. One of which was to put him in my phone as male.
But, I forgot to take his other name out. About a year later I was going through my contacts and doing the phone purge thing. I came to his old name I was totally confused. I said to myself. “Who is this person. Why do I have her name and address?” I looked in the notes hoping to see where I met her at or at least “Knitting Guild” something like that. Then it dawned on me.
To all the grannies out there. People are people. Nothing really changes, gender doesn’t matter. Only now their insides and outsides match.
you are an amazing grandmother!! thanks so much for sharing, it makes me hopeful that other older people would be able to accept trans people :]
This is it. This is my favorite TH-cam comment.
Tarot, Tea abd Textles you’re such a nice person, I hope my family will react in that way
Oh my god. You're gonna make me cry. I wish, wish, wish my grandma had reacted something like that.
I love this, best comment
I want to spread the idea that Aaron Ansuini came up with for dealing with people using the wrong pronouns. It is simple, but genius.
If someone is talking about you, or another trans person in conversation, and uses the wrong pronoun, say "who?" as though you don't understand who they're referring to. When they tell you, say "Oh, I thought you said [insert incorrect pronoun]."
This allows them to realise that they have made a mistake without outright correcting them or causing confrontation, and they will hopefully be more careful in the future.
But doesn't that work mostly for she/he? If I were to say that about myself, I don't think anyone would correct themselves to they/them
I'm a Latina Lesbian Trans Woman of color and it is so hard to find other people like me even for me as a part of the community because we just don't get platforms. We don't generally have the time/money to build online presences in a way other people can. I want to try to do youtube but I also have the fear of harassment that is amplified from every margin of myself if I even get noticed. It's kinda a lose lose situation, get noticed, get harassed, don't get noticed, your perspective can't be out there. I do podcasts and stuff though, although none are the intersection of race and transness, just nerdy stuff with my girlfriend and sometimes my other friends (some of whom are also trans people of color).
Maybe follow Jae Noel on youtube an instagram, she was the first one to pop into my mind when you said transgender, latina and lesbian! She's a pretty rad smaller creator, go check her out! :)
Also I would love to listen to some of your podcasts, always looking for new ones!
I'll definitely start watching if you do c:
i would definitely watch you! i'm a nb latinx (ftx though) and i can definitely feel the lack of representation. trying to find some relatability in binary white trans guys on yt is not a perfect situation and i'd love if there were more latinas to follow! esp since i'm not out to my Mexican family and i could use some solidarity in that area
Lesbian Trans Woman...does that mean you were a guy, who is now a woman who likes females?
@@carolbuser3956 That means that she's a woman who was born with a male anatomy and she's into women. 😉 Being trans doesn't mean you're straight by default. Like, trans is not a sexual orientation, it's about one's identity. So, she's s woman. And as all women do, she has a sexual orientation wich happens to be lesbian.
Hey Jackson, been watchin your videos for a few months now. I'm a cis guy but I'm also physically disabled, I use a wheelchair and wondered if you've done videos about trans identity and physical disability before with anyone who is also physically disabled. It would be interesting to watch I think. I've learned a lot from your videos so thank you for doing what you're doing. Keep it up.
Definitely a collab I want to do! Check out Annie Elainey and Aaron Ansuini on TH-cam as well as thedisasbledhippie and Aaron Philip on Instagram, if you haven't already.
Right on! I definitely am aware of Annie.. been following her channel and tumblr for a few years now but I'll have a look at the other folks you mentioned
I am also a wheelchair user and am legally blind and would love to see some more trans disabled videos!
I’m a disabled genderfluid person who uses a wheelchair, so I’d love to see all the things about being trans, non binary or genderfluid and disabled, especially if you are a wheelchair user. 🙌🏽
Check out Eli Clare and his writing :)
For me, as a disabled person, I feel like most people (able bodied people) should use the word Disabled, and not a bunch of the other words that are either a slur or not what the Disabled community generally wants TRIGGER WARNING (not ok words: retarded, physically challenged, wheelchair bound, handicapable, crippled, special needs, special.....) in general the word Disabled is the word to use, and if a particular disabled person wants you to use another word, they will tell you, but then only use that word for that person. Cause personally, I don’t at all want to be called any of the other words. Handicapped is also a word that is often considered a slur, but for some people they use it as an identity or a way to describe themselves. But if you are going to default to a word, “disabled” is usually the good word to default to. 👍🏽
I agree. Although I don't have a disability which impacts my physical body much, I also cringe at the number of times people try to say something isn't a disability, it's just (insert descriptor implying disability is negative and sad and not just different and something no one would expect you to identify with!). It's the reverse but still very harmful. And it's the same as when people try to say anyone successful can't be disabled, and come up with another word to support their shitty views.
Just a question without the means of offence coming up: Why have you put the phrase 'special needs' in the list of what not to say? Special needs is an educational phrase, not a phrase that offends. I work in a school built around SEN (special educational needs) and that phrase is used by everyone throughout the school, referring as an umbrella term for pretty much anything going on without disclosing the issue for safeguarding reasons - from mental health, social and emotional, learning difficulties, behavioural. I'm just asking?
Makes total sense! Honestly I wouldn't use any other word than "disabled" anyways. I was on crutches for fracturing a knee(which obviously isn't permanent or disabled) but people would call me "crippled" during that time and it was really uncomfortable, so I totally understand where you're getting at with that lol
Oof, I hate the word handicapable so much
@@rikkitikki-tavi140 "not a phrase that offends" that's not up to you to decide, buddy. Parking spots in the US say handicapped, it's still an offensive word.
I feel like leaving a lil' rant down here from something my sister said.
She completely supports me, uses the right pronouns, right name, she's doing everything right, but there was one time she said, "you know, I think the younger generation is really obsessed with gender like it's made into such a big part of their everyday lives when it doesn't need to be. I mean, I don't walk around and constantly think about how I am a woman and need to shout that from the rooftops."
I do agree that there is a degree of people just being completely unprompted and still shouting "I'M TRANS, HI" I have seen it first hand. But, my take on it is, it will never not be part of my everyday life. She said her friend is trans, and this friend is allowed to be a little more self-centered and focus on gender because she was beat and abused for it, but that doesn't mean her dysphoria is more valid than anybody elses. How I see it, being trans will stop being such a big part of my life when I'm more comfortable in my body.
"Trans people are so obsessed with gender!"
Cis people: A gender reveal party ignited a 10-acre brush fire in Florida, fire officials say
"Like when you talk about your racist aunts at thanksgiving, those are your people, collect your people."
As an enby myself; I love when people overuse my pronouns (They/She) when talking with me around. I try to overuse other people's pronouns when I can (Especially if I know they don't often get the correct pronouns used). It also helps for relearning the correct pronouns for someone.
That's weird to me, when people do that it feels so forced, like you're trying to reassure people so you don't appear to be phobic, it comes across so unatural.
@@Horrorscope.s Ahhh see, but one of the biggest reasons to do that is bcuz overusing someones pronoun is helpful to remembr to use someones pronouns.
I’m apologize for asking this, but I’d really like to know the correct pronouns to refer to my friends- like which pronouns do you use? Or do you just ask the person, or will that be too offensive? I’m sorry for being a little confused, I just don’t want to offend people for using the wrong pronouns 😥
I apologize*
@@lonipeony The easiest way is to introduce yourself and state your pronouns and leave it for the othr person to say pronouns back. Tho its nvr rude to ask someone what pronouns they use.
As a white cis woman this video was super helpful. Thanks!
I really don't want to sound rude, but why the pronoun "they". I'm just a little confused and curious. 😅🤷🏻♀️
As a brown gender fluid xie i also found this video helpful
I sort of disagree that the t-word is only for transwomen. I know a lot of transguys who have been called that word as a slur so it is definitely used for FTMs, too. I know that is predominantly for transwomen, but since transmen tend to get off the Radar after a short time on T and look like a Young Boy or lesbian pre-T, there aren't THAT many occasions where someone would want to use transphobic slurs. And when People do that it is the T-word, so I do think transguys could reclaim it.
i'm curious about the historical reasoning on that and i'd like to watch that "later video" about it lol. I'm also nb (ftm) so where do i fall on that exactly? (since even post transition i would still be visibly trans, except I'd look like a femme guy)
I'm trying to google what the heck the word is. No idea what it refers to.
As a trans guy who has been the target of the t-word, i agree. Yes, it's mostly historically targeted trans women, but that doesn't mean trans men don't get called this. I feared for my life through most of middle school because I was the target of the word. (As well as a few others)
@@Nichalia Without explicitly saying it (as I've been called it a lot before and I hate it) it's a T-work often associated with anime and very often used to describe male characters who dress femininely. Hopefully that helps with you figuring out what the word is and obviously never use it on a trans person
OK my experiences of misgendering is REALLY old (because I'm 73), I came out as a trans girl when I was 20 (in 1968, 2 yrs after I graduated from high school) and I came out as lesbian at about the same time. I transitioned from age 22 to 26, just before I started to transition I remember getting misgendered a lot, but I secretly LOVED being misgendered although I had to try to hide my happiness ... I always had a hard time not giving a beaming smile back when I got called Miss.
That was right about the time I'd been on HRT for 1 or 2 yrs and I'd been working in a Super drug store in the heart of San Francisco and I wasn't suppose to ... but I got called to run a cash register fairly often. My breasts were beyond budding and I had to wear an Ace bandage around my chest (compression vests weren't being marketed yet, I'm not sure they'd been invented yet) ... anyway, a lot of people (not just straight guys) would talk to my chest ... and that was just before my ultimate transition marker, the day I first came to work in a dress. I was quite lucky because my store (in SF) was unionized, the Retail Clerks Union, and I had connected with a Police Officer who ran a storefront community center a year or 2 earlier. When it came time for me to transition, Elliot (the police officer) and I went to the office of my local union and met with my union rep for several hours. Then my union rep went to my store manager and set up several meetings with progressively higher up levels of management ... and they came out for me to my employer. While this was going on we knew what would be the ultimate issue (the restrooms !). So I went to every single woman I worked with and came out to them individually and made sure they were cool with what I was doing ... so, when the store's management pulled the bathroom card out, they went to every single female and tried to get even one of them to object to my sharing the women's restroom and every one of them said they were ok with me sharing the women's restroom. The real kicker was that several of the gals were pharmacists who dispensed HRT Rx's to trans girls all the time and they were watching & talking together about the changes going on in my body and I guess from them, this had spread all around the store (to all the women) before I came out & asked for their help. So, when I started to go to all the women & asked, they all were like "of coarse, did you think you were fooling us by wearing an Ace bandage to try to hide how your girls were growing? We see trans girls in here everyday and their generally nice girls. We understand what's going on with you with your boobies coming in ... and your hair's getting longer & longer, and your ears are pierced ... and you're good people so we'll stand up for you! And the union is already set to back you, so we are too."
These days if I get misgendered it's cause I'm old & tired ... and I get lazy about making up my face, especially my eyes ... I love masks too.
Just adding that Latino and Hispanic people are also really hard to find in the trans community. As in, all latinos, not just those of us of indigenous descent. I can’t really think of a single Hispanic/Latino trans TH-camr.
A lot of us are white-passing, and I know those of us that are fair-skinned aren’t getting stopped on the streets as often, but it bothers me when people don’t mention that black people aren’t the only double minority within this minority, if that makes sense?
I really love this video, though, and all of it was super true! Thanks for making it
Yeah, as queer Asian, I relate
A friend of my family just came out as trans and I'm trying to educate myself on how to be a good friend for him. 😊 This was super helpful! 😄 Thank's!
Somehow stumbled on this and similar videos. From a straight, cis woman who is binging videos on the trans experience, thank you so much for the education on how to respect the trans people in my life
One of the worst parts of being young or new to the community is discovering something you've been doing or saying is harmful, or that you should've been calling people out for things and being like oh shit I'm part of the problem 😞
>or that you should've been calling people out for things
Call-out culture is overzealous. I wouldn't sweat too hard that you missed an opportunity to call someone out.
I'm a cis guy, but i just watch these so I know how to respect EVERYONE.
and I also feel like you guys have the biggest personality's.
As a member of lgbtq (I'm bi) everyone ALWAYS asks me if I'm gay, and when I say "no, I'm bi" they say
"oh, no. Don't hide in the closet, only girls can be bi."
Well as a BMSM (born male, still male) cis is offensive..
The whole "boys can't be bi" is bullshit, right up there with "girls are bi for attention" or the overall "it's just a phase"
@@BurBarrett offended by a scientific word?
I think the best thing I can say is...if you're hesitating to say something, don't mention it, even the slightest hesitation, don't mention it. It might not be a big deal to one trans person or another but better safe than sorry.
I know I probably shouldn't but as a non-binary trans person I feel super uncomfortable when cis people make "that's my gender" jokes. You know the ones, like that gender of the day blog and similar. They're great coming from other nb people but when cis people make them I do not like it. But at least it's not as uncomfortable as cis people joking about *my* gender.
I really wanna add MTF and FTM to the list of words no cis person should ever say. Trans Men or Trans Women. Or nonbinary peeps or whatever else.
Many of us don't like the implied misgendering in MTF/FTM where it literally starts with a gender we are not. Then there are also Intersex people who may transition (or not) and do specifically consider themselves trans; and many of them may have bigger issues with the implication that their birth gender was anything other than Intersex.
Trans women of colour you should follow:
*Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, a trans elder and subject of the documentary "Major!"
Raquel Willis, activist
Stasha Sanchez, pageant queen
Amiyah Scott, actress from Star
Isis King, first trans model on Top Model in 2008
The Lady Deja, makeup artist
Mila Jam, AMAZING singer
Ava A. Grey, model and actress who appeared on Pose and her photo captions are very educational
Alexandra Grey, actress from the film Tangerine
Leiomy Maldonado, ballroom choreographer
Mya Taylor, actress who was also in Tangerine
Munroe Bergdorf, model and activist
Ashlee Marie Preston, media personality
Tourmaline, filmmaker
Jari Jones, actress who does it all
Arisce Wanzer, model
Monica Beverly Hillz, trans drag queen
Peppermint, trans drag queen and first openly trans actor to originate a principal role in a Broadway show
:)
+ is this pasted in the pinned comment?
Dawn Marie is a favorite trans- woman of color that I follow!
As a cisgender male, I get misgendered all the time on the phone and in person! I get called "Ma'am" or "Miss" a lot. It can be very frustrating, awkward, and hurtful for sure
I get a lot of 'lavv' and 'darlin' which is so frustrating because I can't point this out to my cis friends cause they just say it's a gender neutral word and I'm being sensitive which, yes, I know it is! But I get it way more frequently and often in a pointed tone then any of my cis friends. To all cis people reading this. If someone present in a masculine way but you are unsure of their gender and you feel the need to use an overly endearing term, how about 'friend' or 'mate'? Or if you want to be more casual 'you guys' to a group. And if you absolutely need to be formal, just ask if 'sir' or ''mam' is preferred don't settle for 'love' it is not a formal or polite word but rather patronising, just DON'T!
I'm a cis female but I like to be called Evan because I don't think my name suits me, and my friends are getting used to it, so I always politely correct them, or refer to myself in third person, and they totally make a huge deal out of it and it kinda bothers me but i don't want to say anything, so i totally get the name thing.
You should follow Jamie Dodger and Alex burtie
That's the spelling you're going with, huh?
I'm trans and I disagree with the t-word. I believe that anyone can use it as long as they aren't saying it in a negative way or in front of someone who may be offended by it. I think that if you are going to use it infront of someone you should make sure they aren't upset by it. Some people who aren't trans who know trans people may even find it offensive.
I don't think Jackson was trying to gatekeep. I think he was just saying he personally doesn't feel like the word is his to reclaim. I feel the same way for myself but I'm not going to stop any trans person from using the word.
@@arisymphony I don't think he was either but a lot of people do that
Personally, I'm really not ok with other people using that word for me and my friends. I'll use it for myself, but in the context of "You're a disgusting t----- f-----!"
Basically I use words to hurt myself haha I'm *healthy*
Help he said you can google it later but I have no idea what word he's talking about or how Id google it 😅 if you dont wanna answer thats fine but like idk things ahh
@@rainbowwwkim I won't say it outright, but it starts with the first four letters of the word "transgender", then doubles the last letter and then adds a Y at the end.
And weighing in general on the word in question here (transgirl here): I've said it once or twice in self-reference, in like, ironic jokes or whatever before, but, I don't think it's really worth reclaiming, personally. It makes me feel kinda gross and I don't get much out of using it anyway. That's me anyway.
As a 64 year old cis man. I want to respect the people I meet That means addressing them by the name they use and as the gender I see. Any questions I might have is out of ignorance, not intended disrespect. The factor of personal respect is essential in current society with so many types of people.
Since you're here I'll assume you're trying to do better and want advice. Basically don't try to read people or guess their gender based on their appearance. clothing, makeup, height, body type, etc, isn't specific to one gender. And for a lot of trans people, they do not or cannot look the way they really want to. So just assume that you don't know anybody's gender. And use neutral language until you find out for sure. I'm happy there are cis people your age who respect people like me :)
There’s this guy at school who likes me and every day he asks me: “why don’t you want to be a girl” it angers me so much and makes me so dysphoric. I just keep telling him I just don’t want to be a girl, but I’ve never told me that I am uncomfortable with my own name, my own pronouns, my own everything. I can’t be myself around people that call me my dead name and dead pronouns. It makes me want to cry. I feel imprisoned.
I'm so sorry for you. I hope that things get better
I feel you. I can't live my life in this disgusting body, the only thing that keeps me going is hoping i can someday transition to being wholly male
In art I sit on a table full of the people I'm out to. I'm not out to my teacher so when she comes over and refers to us as ladies everyone just turns and looks at me awkwardly, and when she walks away they correct her. It's really nice.
Aw, that's so cool! I wish I didn't have trust issues so I could come out, haha
Normalizing saying your pronouns is sooo great!! I always want to make sure and ask but I feel like that calls people out for looking ambiguous 😕
All i’m gonna say is that if i
made a video about “Annoying things trans-people do” I would get cancelled. Double Standard, no?
I'm a white, cis, DEFINITELY not straight female, and I feel this helped me a ton. I try to stay 'woke' but in a more hidden (??) manner???? Idk, but this helped a TON thank you! ✌
My main tip for somebody misgendering you/a friend, act casual about it! Pretend as if they just misgendered your cis friend: "Hello sirs," "Umm, she's a woman, haha." If you act overly scared or upset (even if you are, I know, it sucks), that automatically makes you stick out as 'odd' and people will be more likely to 'question you.' Just act casual!
"I'm always way too nervous and overwhelmed to stand up for myself"
Oh, I didn't know I filmed a video with Taylor Behnke.
I'm agender and pan and that's kinda tough to find representation of that especially a person of color because our society tends to push down people of color if it doesn't push their agenda good enough its kind of exhausting
as a ftm trans poc I do tend to pass more but im not really sure why... like im pre T and in HS and i still pass pretty well
CIS - stop labelling me! If you want a label, label yourself but leave me alone…I feel triggered.
I'm Bi, queer and neurodivergent, I'm also 48 so I have missed out on a lot of inclusion, progress, opportunities and self discovery, I would love to be included in this conversation. Older people who have had to mask their whole lives have a shit ton of mental illness and addiction issues and would love to feel like they finally belong somewhere.
For the first question, about what to do when someone misgenders a transgender person around you, I always double check with them earlier, if I can, about what pronouns they want me to use around friends/family/strangers and how assertive to be in correcting someone. I only really ask this to trans people I know pretty well, but if I can know how out they are and how much they care about accidentally being misgendered I can respond correctly if they dont want to correct someone themselves.
I do have a question. How do you feel about the gender neutral "she" or "girl" used in gay lingo?
I'm a cis gay man who will say things like "Just between us girls" to male friends but I would obviously hesitate to say such to a trans man.
A lot of it is context and inflection. Some transman aren't going to be bothered at all and some will be really bothered. For myself personally, I don't mind if you are telling a story, relating a conversation or whatever, but if you walk up to me and say "hey girl" I'm going to feel very dysphoric.
@@MinaNoell I agree. “Hey girl” can be pretty dysphoric, but “Just between us girls” is not because cis guys are included too.
Can I just say I don’t like how she’s speaking for black woman. Girl you are clearly mixed and very lighted skinned, and you’ve spent so much time with white people your unaware of the true black experience.
yeah, there's still colourism and black women, especially black trans women who are darker skinned will have discrimination from that too
Hey people in the comments what do you guys do when someone says a slur and you want them to know it offends you but you don't want it to be a huge deal?
Just say "hey I don't like it when you say ______ word, please stop"
You should consider that people who impersonate the opposite have no right to insist that others participate in their delusions.
I know for a fact that when i changed my name i have a lot of friends who now use my name about 3x as much as they used to so a quick psa that doesn't help kinda just makes it awkward
Ex. Deadname- Hey do you need help
Name- Hey Asher, do you need help Asher i can help you Asher
great video, love this series!! also I was coincidentally eating a radish burger when I clicked on this video, it really is radish time haha!
ITS ALWAYS TIME
I totally agree with your statement about misgendering. Let's say someone saying about me in front of some others "she just started playing the piano." All they need to say is "I'm sorry, he did." No whining about how ITS SO HARD or whatever, that just feels like guilt tripping.
Do you think everyone (or at least almost everyone) would agree to that? I have a friend who still gets misgendered quite often and I don't know what to do or say when it happens. I would like to ask him about that but I'm afraid that it might be kind of invasive.
I’m female from birth, but tall and muscular, and sometimes if I have my hair pulled back in a ponytail, idiots sometimes call me “sir” - annoys the hell out of me. I correct the little snots on the spot.
If I am bigendered am I still cis? Like I'm not trans but I'm not just my biological body either. Like my mind is more male but I still love being a female.
Idk much about bigender identity but it depends on how you interpret or identify with the label of cis and trans. You could identify with cis because it's partially the gender you were born as? But idk? I'm nonbinary and I use trans, but that doesn't mean you have to, you don't have to use either label.
@@mmtruooao8377 See I also feel like I dont want to label myself it would help sometimes to uh understand myself. But I also don't know if I'm gender fluid or non bianary. I also dress feminine more often but I don't think clothes should be gendered. I am super confused obviously hahaha. I've always known how I felt I just don't know what to call it.
I understand trans to mean that you aren't/don't identify as the gender assigned to you at birth. So unless you were assigned bigender at birth, congratulations! You're trans!
@@ferncat1397 Oh shit....
@@121097kierstenmoore it doesn't have to make any difference to who you are. You're still you, you just have the option to use that label if you want. If you don't that's chill too. It's all chill. There's plenty time to figure yourself out! 😎👍
Two of my favorite content creators
wow I never realized that most of the trans youtubers I follow are white. Thank you for bringing this topic up and discusing it. It really needs to change and we as a community can all be apart of helping to change this.
Here are some trans people of color I’m subscribed to:
- Ryan Jacobs Flores
- Pinkmantaray
- Karime Skyler Martinez
- Tyince
- Kaion Elijah
On the N-Word...I'm fine you're a good friend and white or any race saying it. CONTEXT is everything.
So i was watching sugar rush on Netflix with my mom and two of my siblings. Then this girl says "I am a proud trans woman." And my mom said "Yeah sorry hunny you still look like a man." And me (a trans boy) and didn't know what to say
This was so helpful. I'm a trans guy and I never know what to do when people misgender me so I'm definitely going to take your advice.
Jack you sound exactly like a guy in my school named Rex.
Ajaj Holbrook, Evan Shawn, Gabriel Reséndez, and a trans woman of color not mentioned was Alexandra Billings!
Jammi dodger is a good trans man youtuber to follow
Also on the vocabulary question.. something that comes to mind would be words to describe parts of out bodies (often vulgar) that make us dysphoric.. such as tits for example. Between trans people its common to throw around words like that but if a cis person called them that... yikes
This was amazing
Drop that victim mentality. Goddamn.
Jamie raines
do either of you watch contrapoints? shes a white trans woman who makes lots of leftist political content. shes very well spoken and her videos are gorgeous
It's very refreshing to know that you don't condone people being apologetic and trying to be more saint than saints are. I condemn forcing group guilt on oneself, besides - that's not how we should fix the world around. On the other hand, I'd be probably more understanding for people who happen to use your 'inner-circle' slang. They surely don't make it out of malice - it's just natural for some folks to imitate their interlocutor in order to make connection and relate - that's how their brain works. It's only my opinion, though :)
6:51 - I’m pretty sure transsexual now refers to someone who has had all of the surgeries. Don’t quote me on that, but that is what someone who identifies as that for that reason told me.
Jae Noel and Gage are both awesome trans females that I follow and their also people of color, glad to help. Hope you follow them 😁❤️
Instagram - black trans tv. Their two creators each have thier own instagram too and they live stream a lot for support
- chella man - POC trans disabled (love him!!!)
- chella's friend miles. FOrget his name on insta but hes a black trans man with blue hair ! :)
I hate it when I tell someone I'm a guy and then they say "Don't lie to me. I know your not a guy." And then they give examples of "real" me who are just bio males.
Would someone be willing to answer a question for me? - Why would some one prefer to identify as trans-male or trans-female as opposed to just that gender? Is it even a preference or just a way on social media to connect with other members of the community?
it's the latter. trans people less comfortable being that out with their trans-ness will just identify themselves as men or women.
To not disappoint certain people and avoid anger.
The big recurring joke between my circle of very not-straight friends and I is that we'll just look at each other and say, "That's so gay."
When my very straight, conservative dad says something is gay though, it just makes me cringe so hard. Especially since from him, it isn't a compliment.
Gay people's defition of gay: good, happy, wholesome, pure, romantic, affectionate, sappy, cheesy
Straight people definition: bad, stupid, effeminate
AmbiguiT is a channel with a load of trans guys of colour and transtastic has Spencer and some other trans masculine people of colour. They're all pretty great.
Black and trans/intersex actually- Roshaante Anderson ❤
is it rude to ask someone if they are adopted isn't it kinda like asking if someone has sibling, man I just can't get the hang of social convention..
sonnis love is a great trans women who is also black! she’s really coll
Noah Finnce (Adams) ,, Pheonix Stone
I can FEEL the cis getting angry
Asher! For what reason?
All %99+ of us? You're funny.
Does it make you happy to make cis people angry, or do you enjoy their anger?
Is that something that gives you pleasure ?
I feel like in the trans community there's also a lot of conversation around reclaiming the word Queer as related to gender.
LOL .. these folks have no clue who or what they are from one day to the next .. a journey of delusions ...
I learned to stop caring what people say. For example, if I saw a guy saying "this is so gay!", how am I supposed to know if he is or is not a part of the LGBTQ+ community? Even if he's a jock-type, what do I do? Stereotype? I think context matters a whole lot. For example, someone saying "you're a f*g!" And someone else saying "f*g is a dumb term" is completely different! Same with other words that I'm not gonna say cause there's too many. But if we get down to just certain people saying 'T-word' and 'f-word' it just gets confusing. Either everyone can say it, or no one can say it. I don't know, I'm not looking for an argument, but I'll be happy to accept some conversation 👌
Oooh this is great. I remember seeing your TED talk but I hadn't followed you yet. Thanks to Taylor for the collab! New subscriber! :)
Excellent stuff! I find it very helpful. :-)
Have a look at Alex Bertie and Jake Edwards, they are both great trans creators!
I have a friend who is a trans guy as well and I was wondering about the first question, too. I can imagine that different people would give different answers to that, so I would kinda like to ask him personally. I'm just not sure if this would be too invasive.
So to all trans people out there: would you mind a friend to ask you about that?
I feel like I should know what the t-word is
It's the last word in my username
Hey Jackson, I have these two annoying people in my class who said they use "masculine pronouns" instead of saying "he/him/his" since they are both boys. How would you deal with this?
Ignore?
Vivek Shraya isn't a content creator, but I'm really looking forward to reading her new book I'm Afraid of Men - it is first in line for when I'm done with my thesis.
But don't you guys claim asking you questions doesn't affirm your identity which causes massive self harm if you bring up inconsistencies? Must be some strong science on your side.
You should never use the word 'cis' for people who don't buy into 'gender'. It's worse than 'misgendering'. It's sex stereotyping, which is sexism. The correct terms are girl, woman, boy and man. If you make a mistake just apoligize and move on. Don't make it all about you. It's not about you.
I didn’t know that the t word was for trans women, and trans guys can’t reclaim it. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I’ll have to google it
great vid, 2 of my fave youtubers :)
what's the t word?
just uh, look it up.
Thesaurus
I'm sorry that I can't "collect my people" but I did change my last name so that any family lineage moving forward will be free of the haneous history of the past and build upon pillars of love and acceptance and compassionate understanding
What is the t word :/? I have no idea
Calling me cis is annoying. I don’t need your labels to try to attach to my gender.
Fun fact if you are left handed or ambidextrous you have a higher chance of being trans or gay
Just a random question that doesn't have much to do with the video: I am a Lebanese woman who was born and raised in Australia. Do I count as white? When I am talking about descendants of white settlers i don't know what to call them. My skin colour is white so I can't call them white. I also can't call them Aussies because I was born here. But our cultures are almost completely different. I am quite confused. Please help.
Don't worry about it
🤣this is just lolz. U say U can't call them white coz your skin is white, can't call them Aussie coz U are born Aussie. wtf. Is ok U can call me white Aussie male, coz that is what I am😅
@@angryjungle726 yeah but some people would consider me a white Aussie female and I don't know how to differentiate between the 2 when I'm comparing cultures if we are called the same thing
@@minksrule2196 I hear you, and at the end of the day we all are Aussies, just the same. Some are just whiter than the rest of us. Myself am part German and Polish. Truth is British heritage is only small part of Australia.
I mean, they're white, but I know of a lot of trans guys who are youtubers. Miles Mckenna, Kovu Kingsrod, Sam Collins, Jammi Dodger, etc. They're all awesome 👌
You're cool
My step brother is trans but I grew up with him as a girl cause we were friends. Now it’s so hard to remember and I call him her all the time but I don’t mean too it’s just hard
I’m a lesbian, at least for the most part, I’m definitely not sexually attracted to guys. Could anyone please help me by telling me what Cis is? I’m 41 so maybe I’m just out of the loop, but I’m totally confused. I’d really appreciate it if someone could help me understand, thanks!😊
Tina Lancaster Cis is short for cisgender, which just means that you aren’t transgender :)
Tyler Burney Thank u so much, I really appreciate it! 😊
2:58 "niCe"
These vids are absurd. When I was 9-12, I had very long hair, which had many people telling my parents that they had a beautiful daughter. My parents and I would later enjoy a good laugh. A random stranger mistakenly identifies/addresses these fragile TH-cam darlings, and they believe that the event is noteworthy or even substantial. It seems that many people need to live a not so self-absorbed life. Narcissists really aren't special, much less extraordinary beings. They are as inconsequential as anyone else. Life can only be as complicated/esoteric as you make it.
I find a cis person will leave a comment on a transgender video like "but he is still a guy' etc
Also you should see the Terfs on Twitter.
Don't go on tik tok it's full of transphobes
What flag is on your hat Jack